( ´ω`) hello kids!

(・∀・) That's not metal in the least, you old fogey!

(・∀・) Grandpa, who'd win in a fight: you or Vin Diesel?

( ´ω`) Even I have to succumb to the awesomeness that is Mr. Diesel.

(・∀・) Grandpa, be you a rich man or a little street sweeper, sooner or later you must dance with the Reaper!

(・∀・) Station!

( ´ω`) needs more cowbell.

(・∀・) She's choppin' broccoli... SHE'S CHOPPING BROCCOLI~

( ´ω`) SKYYYYYYYYYYROCKETS IN FLIGHT, AFTERNOON DELIIIIIIIIIGHT

(・ω・) o O ( ...when did this become karaoke night?... )

(・∀・) Grandpa, did you ever kill the jabberwalkie?

( ´ω`) Why yes, Junior. In fact, it's all coming back to me now... my days as a DQN dragonslayer...

(・∀・) Dragonslayer?! Sugoi sugoi, tell me more Grandpa!

( ´ω`) Whan that Sakura with her shoures soote, the droughte of fun hath perced to the roote, and bathed every vayn in such licour, of wich virtu yellow'ed is the flour, when a bad haeleth came to DQN, and rampagt havoc on the fen, then cometh Grandpa with his OHAYOU BEEM, and approached the scoundrel on a horse.
"I fear ye not," he said, of course.
So Grandpa drew out his big svon, and slew the contemptous villain anon!

(・ω・;) o O ( King James' Dragonslayer?! )

(・∀・) tl;dr

(・∀・) Hey Grandpa, how much hentai do you have? I've been raking up a few gigabytes recently, just for the heck of it, yknow?

( ´ω`) ...

Why do today's youngsters download GIGABYTES of pictures of weirdos? In my day, we had Hard Gay and were happy with it.

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you have any artistic talent?

( ´ω`) Are you joking? I made the Mona Lisa, but Da Vinci smudged my name off the painting!

(;´ω`) He did, however, make most of The Last Supper - I don't care much for Jesus. I once wiped my ass with the painting, though - that's where most of the brown parts of the painting are. Guess that's why I didn't kill him. Equivalent trade, you know.

(・∀・) Grandpa, I done heard tales of a mighty catfish in Gobbler's Lake called "General Lee" that can swallow a man whole, boat and all. And no man has ever caught him!

( ´ω`) In his house at Gobbler's Lake, dead General Lee waits dreaming...

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think that we will ever get to 1000 again?

( ´ω`) As long as there are idiots like you with dumb questions, my boy.

( ｀ハ´) soon, I will have my revenge. Yes, my pretties, soon.
evil cackle

(・∀・)..... Grandpa, i wonder, just how old are you?

(・∀・) You must have been through so much with all the samurais the hiroshima incident and the landing on the moon. Not to mention the holocaust and the second impact!

（ ´ハ`）You buy now!
(・ハ・) Wha... what's happening, Grandpa?

(・Д・) WHAT THE!!!

　　 　 　 　 　 ＿,. -──=ﾆヽ、
　 　 　 　　　/ﾚ'´ 　　　　　　｀ヽ、
　 　 　 　　//● / ,　,､ ヽ ヽヽ　ﾄ、
　　　　　　/7Ｏ　ｊ_ﾉ_/ハHl､_j　l　lN
　 　 　 　〈７ｲ　´|/l/ 　 ｀ﾍﾉ}　jrく)j
　 　　　r‐ヶﾊl 　ｃ⌒r─ｫ⌒ｃ,ﾊヽ〉　
　　　　　Y//,ﾊ>､j＞ｌ､_ノ.イﾚ1l ﾚ′
　 　 　 　 ＼l l//｀ ｀￣´　ｊ ｌ ﾚ'
　 　 　 　 　_＞′r｡~｡ヽ　ﾚ'´
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　 　 　 　 　　　＼｀＾＾´ 　l
　 　 　 　 　 　 　 ｀ｰｒ-､ノ
　　　　　　　　　　　　し′

(Д)
Who are you >>523 >>525 ? You're not Grandpa?!
You kind of scare me...

(Д) MY EYES!!!!!!!!

《《《《《
( ℃゜_ ) BWAHAHAHA!!!! I, DAG ÆGREN, HAVE REMOVED YOUR EYES WITH WAKABAMARK!!!

(・ω・) o O ( They're breaking out with the nonsense again, maybe it's about time for me to make my move... )

(・ω・) o O ( No... not just ye-- )

|・＿・|ﾉ―――@ (●ω・;) ...................

(・∀・) Grandpa, will MSN Otoko find true love?

( ´ω`) Yes, sunny.

(・∀・) Grandpa?

( ´ω`) Just browsing other threads sonny... DQN has never had this many cool threads.

(=(・∀・) Ahem. Most esteemed Grandfather, I have need for your generous wisdom for my most urgent question.

(=(・∀・) Darkpa, your incredibly dashing rival, is all alone on Thanksgiving this year. Perhaps we should invite him? I think he would be too proud to join us, but it would only be the polite thing to do.

(=(・∀・) Ahhh... Ahh...

( ｀ハ´) CHOOO! 三三 =(・∀・)

( ｀ハ´)　　
"⊂ノ=(・∀・)

( ´ω`) Cool mask, Darkpa. Not. You really thought you could fool me eh?

( ´ω`) But, Darkpa, Thanksgiving is all about the pilgrims and the indians and how they shared a feast together back in the day (but I wouldn't really know - I attended the party but was severely drunk with moe). I'd be delighted if you attended Thanksgiving with me, Junior, Clonepa, and and J-bot. Of course, you'll have to be willing to contribute to the feast just as much as the other members. Having said that, I'd like to be the first...

　　　　 ＼＼＼
　　　(⌒＼　　∧＿∧
　　　 ＼ ヽヽ（ ´ω`）...to offer you an appetizer, BITCH!
　　　　 (mJ　　 　 ⌒＼
　　　　　 ﾉ　∩　　/ ／
　　　　　（　 | .|∧＿∧
　 ／＼丿　|　（　　　 ）
　(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ　　

(;・Д・) Grandpa, calm down! We haven't even passed >>550 yet!

（ ´ω`）It would be my second.

(・∀・) Your second what, Grandpa?

（ ´ω`）>>550 (such is the cycle of the universe)

(・∀・) "Time is such a wheel that no man can stand upon it long.

          And it always, in the end, comes back around to where it began."

(・∀・) I read that in a book, once.

（ ´ω`）You? Read books? You're shitting me.

(・∀・) Actually, grandpa, I rather enjoy it.

（ ´ω`）Well sonny if you are so wise, do something to repopulate this thread

（ ´ω`）Because I'm the only one posting here for a while.

(・∀・) Hey everyone, I hear they're giving out free chicken and watermelon over at "( ´ω) Grandpa (v2.0)"! Yes, that's "( ´ω) Grandpa (v2.0)"!

(・∀・) .......Grandpa, what did I do to your face?!

(・∀・) Grandpa, don't you think I just don't have anything else to ask?

（ ´ω`）If you stop asking questions, I will die.

（ ´ω`）I must live forever...Give me questions, Junior. NOW.

( ｀ハ´) (So that is where he gets his strength...perhaps I should create a Darkpa thread and have Junior start asking me questions...)

(・∀・) Well, Grandpa, I have a few suggestions.

(・∀・) Perhaps someone should create a website that you can enter in any question and Grandpa will answer! Or something of that sort - like a mIRC bot or AIM bot or something. You could use questions previously answered, or new ones too.

(・∀・) Or, Squeeks should archive the Grandpa threads and immortalize them on this website. We are sort of mascots, yknow!

（ ´ω`）Not until the comedy starts. Someone needs to stop the LAZY and make with the ASCII ART if you know what I mean.

（ ´ω`） You can't replace me with a machine!

(・∀・) Oh, shut up Grandpa! Today's thanksgiving. Let's eat and grow fat!

（ ´ω`) What was that, Junior? I'm busy digesting.

(　　　　　　・∀・　　) I feel a bit heavy..

(　　　　　　　　・∀・　　　　) Oh well, its nothing!

（ ´ω`) Dessert goes in a different stomach, after all! Haha!

(・∀・) So you don't have to exercise to burn the fat Grandpa?

(・∀・) I bet his muscles have disappeared.
Not like the old days sparrring with Bruce Lee, huh?

（ ´ω`) What are you talking about, Junior? Bruce Lee could kick your ass from beyond the grave if he wanted.

(・∀・) Kind of embarassing to die from a headache-relief pill, don't you think?

（ ´ω`) I have lived and died. So?

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think the Japanese were as offended by Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls as I was by her solo career?

　　　　　 ∧＿∧
　　　　　（　 ´ω`）This is how I felt about the manner.
　　　　 /⌒　　　 ヽ
　　　　/　/　　　 ﾉヽ　　　　＿ー￣＿￣）', 　・　∴.'　　， ．. ∧＿∧　∴.'.'　　，　．
　　　 (　/ヽ　　　|　）　--＿- ― ＝￣　￣`:,　.∴ '　　 　　 ((( #)｀ハ´)　.∴　'
　　　　＼ /　　_,　-''￣　　＝　＿＿――＝',　・,'　.ｒ⌒>　 _／ ／ ・,'　,　・,‘
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　　　　　 | 　 /,,, ＿―　￣＿＝＿　　`　)),∴.　).　 |　　／　 ノ ｜ ∴.'∴.'
　　　 　　|　 /　/　　　―＝　＿　)￣＝＿)　　 ＿), ー' 　／´ヾ_ﾉ
　　　　 　(　 )　)　　　　　　＿　＿ )＝　　＿)　,.／　,　　ノ　　'
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　　 　 ∠／　　￣　　　　　　　　　　　　!､＿／ / 　 ）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 |_／

(・∀・) Ouch!

(・∀・) Grandpa, were you in the war?

（ ´ω`) I'm not your stereotypical Grandpa. I wasn't in just -one- war, I was in every war out there to date, even some that weren't historically recorded. How did I get through them all with maybe one or two flesh wounds?

　　　　　　　　()二))
　　　　　　　　　　　``ヽ
　　　　＿＿＿＿＿;==ﾆlﾆﾆﾆﾆﾆ(),,,　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　;;'''''"´´´"""''''''::;:,,,
　　　　'＝＝＝ #[ﾛﾆ]]￣￣￣|￣￣￣￣￣￣||二二二二二二二　　　　　　　　　　,;;;;;´´"''' -
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　　　　　　　　.!∧∧|」（◎）ヽ-ー'
　　　　　　　　!( ´ω`) 　 　 :::| It was this baby. Let me show you
　　　　　　 　 |(| 　 |　,,,,,, 　:::| some of its awesome power.
　 　　　　　 〜|　　|＿＿＿:::|　,,,
[二]二二二二 し｀Ｊ|＿＿|二二二二二二二[二]
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧
　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（ハ´；　）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⊂　∧　　つ
.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　-＝≡●て　ヽ　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 （＿_ﾉw （＿）

(・∀・) Do you ever wish for the days before the endless September, Grandpa? I know you were there, I saw the old usenet postings you made in alt.usenet.kooks.

( ´ω`) Junior, you need to find a better news source than Green Day albums.

(・∀・) Grandpa, its snowing! Come outside and lets play!

( ´ω`) Ouch, my back...

(・∀・) ...Grandpa, when's the last time you got off your ass and did something?

( ´ω`) when I fucked your mother

( ´ω`)ノ凸

( ｀ハ´)ノ凸

(・Д・) Wh, what?!

( ´ω`) Just forgot my pills today, thats all.

(・∀・) Is that why you were holding an ink bottle just now?

( ・ω・)ノ凸 < Hey I have one too! But what is it?

( ・ω・)ノ凹 < Oh?

(・∀・) Those're Legos, Clonepa. And they're mine, so stop playing with them!

(・∀・) Grandpa, I heard you were going to star in Metal Gear Solid 4 as Solid Snake. Is this true?

( ´ω`) I'm working on it with Koijma himself, Junior. The eyepatch itches, though.

( ・ω・) David Hayter is my hero.

(・∀・) Grandpa, who is the better hero? You or David Hayter?

( ´ω`) Well, he also voices Sephiroth...

(・∀・) Grandpa, why should I copy-paste my face before talking to you?

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield?

(・∀・) Grandpa, what do you think of the IRS?

( ´ω`) One at a time, Junior! I'm too old to multitask like you can nowadays.

( ´ω`) I severed my ties with Anonymous long ago. Anyhow, I won't answer questions if I don't know who's asking them. Just don't fight the system...or I'll fight you.

( ´ω`) Yeah...I do. I think at any time, any place... people can fall in love with each other. But... if you love someone, you have to be able to... er... Line?

( ´ω`) tl;dring the last question but I give you a thumbs up for the awesome timestamp.
( ´ω`)b

(・∀・) Granpa, is W.T. Snacks really gone?

( ´ω`) W.T. Snacks will be back. For he WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR

( ´ω`) Maybe you should know that he never existed in the first place, Junior. You mother only created him to threaten you so that you would finish your meal and go to bed.

(・∀・) Grandpa, why are our timestamps set at 1993?

( ´ω`) Junior, the month is much more important than the year.

(・∀・) Grandma says its the week that matters!

( ´ω`) Grandma isn't that good with numbers, I must actually remind her of your birthday every year you know.

(・Д・) I have a birthday?!

(´ω`) He has a birthday?

(・∀・) 600GET

(・∀・) Grandpa! Is it true you were born in 1874? Wiki says so!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandpa