( LΦ`) hello kids!
(EΝEjWake up, Grandpa! I've go something to show you! Remember J-bot? I recharged him and plugged him into the wall, so he'll last longer.
|EQE| HELLO-GRANDPA-UNIT. ACTIVATING-INTERFACE.
( EΦE) Sorry, Junior...
(EΦE) ...but this time, Grandpa won't be waking up.
(EΝEjWho the fuck are you!. asshole?
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@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Grandpa: Clonepa?
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@Clonepa: Everything is going as planned..
@@@@@@@@ @ @ @( LΦ`)@@ iEΦE j
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(EΝEj Have those two went nuts?
( LΦ`) Was that a dream? Why, I haven't had a dream in at least 30 years now!
( LΦ`) How..disturbing. I was outside. My eyes hurt.
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ (E[Ej@hello... father... welcome back... hahahahahaha...
@ @ @ @ (ΏΏ)
@ @ @ ^
@ @ ^
@ ^
( LΦ`) What the hell am I doing here?! Where's junior?!
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
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@ @ @ @ (E[Ej@oh... junior, is it... it's ALWAYS junior, isn't it...
@ @ @ @ (ΏΏ)
@ @ @ ^
@ @ ^
@ ^
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ (EΝEj@is this good enough for you?! huh?!
@ @ @ @ (ΏΏ)
@ @ @ ^
@ @ ^
@ ^
(MnLj Damn, I need a beer. Are there any in the fridge?
(MnLj OOOF!
(MnLj Hey! Who the hell left this power coord lying across the floor?
|EQE| 4:59:99!
|EQE| 4:58:65!
|EQE| 4:57:31!
meanwhile
(EΝEjI gotta go see my fiancee! Tralala.
(EΝEj Hello, fiancee!
iE_EBj ...
(EΝEj ... Hello?
iE_EBj ...
(EΝE;) Er, why aren't you talking to me-
BANG
'ΚiE_EBj Sorry Junior, it's for the sake of the mission.
iE_EBj Mission complete.
Sound Only ...Good job.
( LΦ`) I sense a great disturbance in the DQN.
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@
@ @ @ @ (EΝEj@What?! Isn't my DQN enough?!
@ @ @ @ (ΏΏ)
@ @ @ ^
@ @ ^
@ ^
( LΦ`) You couldn't DQN yourself out of a paper bag, now shut up and get me out of here.
( LΦ`) Oh, uh, hello there.
iE_EBj...
( LΦ`) Speak up, youngin'.
BANG
'ΚiE_EBj Forgive me, Grandpa. But I-
( LΦ`) Haha! It'll take more then that to kill me!
iE_EBj!
Meanwhile
@ @@@ _ _@ Μ
@@@ (L @ MRA@@ @
@@Ό,_Ζi@ @ j½
( E[Ej Dad! Dad?!
(;EDEj Dad, what's wrong with Grandpa?!
( E[Ej Junior, I have some bad news for you...
( EΦE) .....
(;EDEjHe's drunk again?
( E[Ej No, but I saved a load of money by switching to Geico.
(;EDEj ...
( LΦ`) Them I-talian secret ops can't hurt me because I have mew mew
iE_EBj . o O ( If I don't kill I won't be loved by my controller! )
(EΝEj Grandpa, help me!
|EQE| 0:00:05!
|EQE| 0:00:04!
|EQE| 0:00:03!
i LΝMjI like Kouyama Mitsuki-chan!
|EQE| 0:00:02!
|EQE| 0:00:01!
|EQE| 0:00:00! SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED.
(EΝEj I knew I should've disabl-
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BUT THE WORLD REFUSED TO CHANGE.
( EΦE) < Ooh... Fireworks! So pretty
Meanwhile
@ @@@ _ _@ Μ
@@@ (L @ MRA@@ @
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(;EDEj J-bot, fix Grandpa!
|EQE|
(;EDEj
|EQE|
(;EDEj
|EQE| BEEP
( EΦE) ...
(;EDEj Clonepa! What happened to grandpa! I thought that he wasn't killed by Fiancee's shot!
( EΦE) It's something else... he's not dead, he's in some sort of... COMA.
dramatic reverb
( EΦE) < He's pining for the fjords.
(EΝEjI want to fuck fiancee.
( EΦE) Idiot, that was just a part of a drug-induced dream. You don't really have a fiancee. You don't even have a girlfriend!
( EΦE) anyway, since grandpa's gone, youll be asking me questions from now on.
( LΦ`) hello kids!
( EΦE) o O ( I've underestimated him... to break that illusion so easily, it would take uncharted levels of DQN! )
( EΦE) o O ( If the illusion was broken, then I must resort to... THE GRANDPA-VANQUISHER 2.0 (patent pending)!!)
@ @@ @@@@@ Q@ @ @@ QQ_ ΘΘ@ @@@@@Q@@ @@@@ llllllllll
@ @ @ @@^ά_ _ @ @ kk |¬ (,,EΦE)Β@^άO__@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @ @ @ /^ά_ || @ Q/ ||¬/ Βχχ@ / ^ά_||@@@@@@This is the end, Grandpa!!
@ @ @ ^@@@@@j|ϊ|_/___|^PPPP_@ _____.|ϊ|__@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @ @/@@@@ QQ_@ _|^ @ @ @ @@/_@P___r@@ΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙ
@ @^@@@@@ Y@ @ @Y@jR Y@@Y@@@@@@ _.._ Q/O~@@@@@@@@@@@/O|/O|__
@ @| ₯@ @ @@ |@ @@@| /. jj.|@@ |@@@@ @ ₯ |^__ @ @ @@@@@@@@ /O/.O/_½
@ @|lQQmά|@@@ @|/mmm___l@@@AQl| @ @__QQQQQ_@__/O/O/O/½
@ @@@ @ @ /P _QQ|@ ||@P/ΪA QQQm_. @ /|P@ @ | P P ||Α``` |
@ @ @@@ @/@@@/ @./|__Q||_^P^{O|O|Op|@ @ _/|||]]]]]]_ @Όράj Α@ /
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@ @ @ /======/ @ |@ @^PPP|OO OO j_
@ @ ^~/ά|_.||@ /@ @|PPQQ|Q@ @₯ @| P|
@ iPij|ά|@j||@/@ @ /@ @/ /~O_Ql__/O{.|
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@ @OiPj/ @ @ @ @/QQ/_/ / @ @/@ ___/@ _@@ _
@ @@PO@ @ @ @ @ @ @/OO /@@@/@@@_ @@@_ |PP|
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@ @ @@@ @ @@ @ @ __/O|/@@@/ @ @ @ @@>OO____/
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(EΝEjSugoi, Clonepa! We're fucked!
(EΝEjLet's play some awesome fight music. Hmm... Perhaps Iron Maiden - Fallen Angel? Something heavier, like Amon Amarth - Vs. The World? Well, maybe some video game music. Earthbound - Final battle might work...Devil May Cry 3 - Vergil Battle 3 also. Oh, there's so many possibilities! What do you think, everyone?
( EΦE) Something classy.
( LΦ`) May I suggest Tchaikovsky's "Scherzo: Allegro non tanto e con fuoco (Qrt. 1)?"
i MnLjAn articulate choice, Grandfather, but I believe Barber - Adagio for Strings is a more peculiar notion for such an epic event.
(EΝEj But you know, for classy, dramatic music, you really can't beat O Fortuna!
( EΦE) Wait, I know!
Don't wanna know why, everybody ready get it on!!
@ @@ @@@@@ Q@ @ @@ QQ_ ΘΘ@ @@@@@Q@@ @@@@ llllllllll
@ @ @ @@^ά_ _ @ @ kk |¬ (,,EΦE)Β@^άO__@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @ @ @ /^ά_ || @ Q/ ||¬/ Βχχ@ / ^ά_||@@@@Turbo Smasher Punch!!
@ @ @ ^@@@@@j|ϊ|_/___|^PPPP_@ _____.|ϊ|__@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @ @/@@@@ QQ_@ _|^ @ @ @ @@/_@P___r@@ΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙ
@ @^@@@@@ Y@ @ @Y@jR Y@@Y@@@@@@ _.._ Q/O~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/O|/O|__
@ @| ₯@ @ @@ |@ @@@| /. jj.|@@ |@@@@ @ ₯ |^__ @ @ @@@@@@@@@@@@@ /O/.O/_½
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@ @ @ /======/ @ |@ @^PPP|OO OO j_
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@ iPij|ά|@j||@/@ @ /@ @/ /~O_Ql__/O{.|
@ iPij|Q|/@||/ @ @ /@ @/ / / @P/|:::::|::::|@ @_
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( LΦ`) It was my late father's dying wish that I would bring absolute justice to DQN - and now, I shall enforce his last words stronger then ever before.
@@ ◢░ @ ▄▅@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@▅▄@@░◣
@ ▐░::@ ▀@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@▀@@::░▍
@▐░::@@@@@ @@@@@@@▂ @ @ @▂ @ @@@@@@@@@ @:::░▍@CLONEPA, THIS WILL BE THE END!
@ ▌░:: ::@@@@@@@@@@▐::@ @ ▄@ ▀▄@ @@@@@@@ @:: :::░▌
@▐▓░░:: @@@@@@@@ @ ▋:::@ ▅▀@::░▋@@@@@@@ @::::░▓▌
@ ▐▓▓░░:::: ::@@@@@ @@▊░:::▊ ▊:::░▊@@@@@@@ :: ::::░▓▋
@@ ▀█▓▓░░:::: ::@@@@@@ ▀▀@@▀▀@@@@@@@@:::░▓█▀
@@@@@@@@@@@@@/O/::/ |__
@@@@@@@@@@@@ /O/::/ /_½
@@@@QQQQQ_@__/O/::/O/½
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|||]]]]/::/ ]_ @Όρ/::/ Α@ /
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@@@@@@PPPPPP
@@@@@@@@ Θ Θ,`
@@@@@@@@( iάP `R@@@@Q
@@@@@@@@@ _@ _@`['"L, -'άR@Grandpa: Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu:
@@@@@@@@@/ΪQ,m@@@ / @@@@Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki.
@@@@@@@@ /i@m@R€Q/L @_@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@€i 'Ιi@@@@@@@@@ `R€@@@@
@@@@@@^`@ @_QQQ_>_QQ_m@@@@
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@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@
i MnLjFool, using one of your strongest techniques right off the bat.
(EΝEjEven I'm not that stupid, Grandpa!
( LΦ`) But it looked cool..
( EΦE) It did, actually.
( LΦ`) You have an error in your SQL syntax. Check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near '' at line 1
(EΝEjwow grandpa, thanks that you let me know!
( MnLjYou know, -I- should be involved in this battle. After all, I am Grandpa's greatest opponent.
( EΦE) Then, you're my enemy.
( MnLjHAAAAAAA
( EΦE) UWAAAAAAA
@@@@@/Q^Q^P__|/@ @ @@@@@ _@ _Q_
@@@@@ O /QQ_Q|@_Q _@@@ @ @ @@@_.@|@ @|
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@@@@@CRUSHED
@@@A...ah, damnit.
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@ @ @ @@^ά_ _ @ @ kk |¬ (,,EΦE)Β@^άO__@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @ @ @ /^ά_ || @ Q/ ||¬/ Β@ / ^ά_||@@@ How strong is that exoskeleton of yours?!
@ @ @ ^@@@@@j|ϊ|_/___|^PPPP_@ _____.|ϊ|__@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @ @/@@@@ QQ_@ _|^ @ @ @ @@/_@P___r@@ΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙΙ
@ @^@@@@@ Y@ @ @Y@jR Y@@Y@@@@@@ _.._ Q/O~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @| ₯@ @ @@ |@ @@@| /. jj.|@@ |@@@@ @ ₯ |^__ @ @ @@@@@@@@@@@
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@ @ @ /======/ @ |@ @^PPP|OO OO j_
@ @ ^~/ά|_.||@ /@ @|PPQQ|Q@ @₯ @| P|
@ iPij|ά|@j||@/@ @ /@ @/ /~O_Ql__/O{.|
@ iPij|Q|/@||/ @ @ /@ @/ / / @P/|:::::|::::|@ @_
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Darkpa: Grandpa, we're not tools of the government or anyone else! Fighting was the only thing... the only thing I was good at, but... At least I always fought for what I believed in... Grandpa... farewell.
@@@@@/Q^Q^P__|/@ @ @@@@@ _@ _Q_
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@@@@@@@squish
( LΦ`) DARKPAAAAAAA!!!!
( EΦE) Foolish man...He begged for death, and it found him. You see? You can't save anyone. Not even yourself...DIE!
(EΝEjThat was dramatic, but it made no sense. Why was Darkpa Clonepa's enemy in >>745?
( EΦE) Well, you see, -I- want to be the one to put an end to Grandpa myself. I won't let anyone interfere with that.
( LΦ`) Oh, and we were also taking lines from Metal Gear Solid, of course. Just for reference.
(EΝEjtl;dr I see.
( LΦ`) Anyways, we need some more music. Clonepa already picked something, Junior is an idiot, and Darkpa is dead. That leaves me and my worthless son... any ideas, jackass?
( E[Ej ....no.....
( E[Ej Actually, if you're bored, you could just shoot the robot with this stinger missile launcher I've got here.
( MnLj I'm not quite dead yet.
( MnLj It just so happens that I am only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.
(EΝEjARE YOU maybe UNDEAD?!
( LΦ`)Stop lying, Darkpa. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
( MnLj rock solid
( MnLj Really, I'm not quite dead yet.
@@@@@/Q^Q^P__|/@ @ @@@@@ _@ _Q_
@@@@@ O /QQ_Q|@_Q _@@@ @ @ @@@_.@|@ @|
@@@@@@ |( MnLjQQQ|@@ @@@@@@@@_|Q^
@@@@@@.........
( EΦE) I made everything but the fist out of cardboard.
( ;LΦ`) C...cardboard?!? ALL HOPE IS LOST NOW!
(EΝEjHoly crap, Clonepa, you should have told me you liked to build robots with cardboard! I got a few myself - none as cool as yours is though!
( EΦE) We'll discuss this later, Junior. I'm busy watching Grandpa die of wakabamark.
LΦ`)!
Φ`
Φ
.
(EΝEjGrandpa? Grandpa?!!? GRANNDDDPAAAASNNAAAAAAAKKEEEEE!!
( EΦE) So, it's all over.
( MnLjMy nemesis has been vanquished. What should I do now..?
iE_EBj...
@@@@|«O Slam!
@@@@|«@@@@
@@@@|«@ί@ #A @
QQ__.|~_QQi @ Ι`j @I don't remember why I even married him!
@@@@|«=QQ||R ^ /|_ Really though, I don't. Anyone know why?
(EΝEj His money?
( EΦE) His home?
( MnLj His power?
iE_EBj ...his inner beauty...?
G R A N D P A 2 . 0@-@E P I L O G U E
After Grandpa abruptly vanished from the world, everything went into chaos shortly thereafter.
i @ Ι`jGrandma quickly passed away for unknown reasons.
iE_EBjFiancee was hired by a underground DQN organization as a female assassin, and successfully killed thousands of DQNs, but died in battle with Junior.
( MnLjDarkpa, after living a long life of unsuccessful revenge, had no idea what to do at first of Grandpa's demise. He led a huge mass of DQNs to total genocide. Darkpa's existance was finally put to an end by an effort made by Junior.
(EΝEjJunior, after having asked thousands of questions to Grandpa, was severely devastated the most. He trained his body and mind to compare to that of Grandpa's prime days. He successfully killed Fiancee in a heated battle, but lost his arm in the process. With one arm, he then rode to destroy Darkpa, and did so by using Grandpa's legendary 'DQN Ultima Lv99 Death' that he finally mastered at his own last ounce of strength. Junior died, hoping that DQN would seek to a new light..a new hope. He thought of his Grandpa one last time, and faded to nothingness.
(E[EjI've come to discuss the shaping of a new DQN.
(*ί[ί) What do you have in mind?
(E[EjEven though my own son and father hated my guts, we must not forget what they've done for DQN. After the amazing Darkpa saga was put to an end with Junior's effort, the world was shining with a new ray of light. This ray of light shall prosper, and bring forth a new garden, a new DQN. I propose that the entity 'Grandpa' be born again, as well as 'Junior'. I also propose that 'Fiancee' and 'Darkpa' be brought back again.
(*ί[ί) What of Grandma?
(E[EjShe's a stinky old hag that deserved to die anyway.
(*ί[ί) I agree. She took my love away from me. But yes, I will vow to recreate DQN and implement the deceased characters of the Grandpa thread, bring them back to life again, and start anew. DQN, hun, you know what to do.
(ijΔͺͺͺ²ij) DDDDddddddDddDdDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUuuUUUUUuuuRRRRRRRrRrrrRR!!!!!!!!
( EΦE) hello kids!
( LΦ`) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
---
(*ί[ί) Er, wait a minute, something's not right. What happened to Clonepa when Grandpa died?
(E[EjI...don't know.
(ijΔͺͺͺ²ij) DDDDUUUURRUURURRRR?!?
( EΦE) Ahahaha! You'll learn that your powers of reshaping the world have been reclaimed by ME! Now I'll control the Grandpa thread the way -I- want to!
(*ί[ί) !!!
(EΝE)yͺ₯ Grandpa, can I just tl;dr that whole thing?
(E[Ej ...okay, you know what? I'm getting tired of this. First you wanted me to help you write a book, then it ended up being really stupid, and now you're just going to tl;dr?
(E[Ej You two just go bother Grandpa or something already, I'm going out for a drink.
(EΝE) ...
( EΦE) ...
(EΝE) Grandpa, why is everyone trying to make a story here?
( LΦ`) It's just false wisdom. Don't imagine, learn!
(EΝE) Grandpa, is there life on mars?
( LΦ`) Kid, there isn't even intelligent life on Earth.
(EΝE) Grandpa, will we ever find the single quark?
( LΦ`) You're to one who lost it! Now get back out into the yard and look for it!
( EΦE) Grandpa, what did you get us for Christmas?
( LΦ`) Well I've only purchased one gift so far: contraceptives, so mistakes like Junior don't happen again!
°(G[Gj...that hurt...
(;;`DL) ! I'm taking your present back to the store Grandpa!
( LΦ`) Oh you actually thought of someone other than yourself this year? What'd you buy for me?
(EΝE) You'll find out on Christmas~!
(EΝE) What was christmas like back in your day, Grandpa?
( LΦ`) When I was a lad, Christmas meant getting a stocking full of oranges and Brazil nuts. And we were happy to have 'em!
(EΝE) Do you believe in Santa Claus, Grandpa?
( LΦ`) No. You?
(EΝE) Gee, I was hoping for a story about him being one of your old friends.
(G[Gj I hate you, Grandpa!
( LΦ`) I've been around the world, Junior, and I've seen a lot of strange things. But that doesn't mean I've seen everything.
(EΝE) Have you seen Russia grandpa?
( LΦ`) Even better, I've seen Soviet Russia. He was a silly man.
(EΝE) You don't post much, do you grandpa?
( LΦ`) Nope.
( LΦ`) The key is lurking. With lurking comes wisdom. Lurk more, sonny!
(EΝE) Hay Grandpa, have you played Final Fantasy 4? The original SNES cart, I mean?
(EΝE) I'm playing the GBA version, and I was wondering if you knew about any differences between the versions?
( LΦ`) Did you just curse at me sonny?
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(;;EDE) G-grandpa! Someone's using our elevator!
( LΦ`) Sonny, I have to say but... You are a stupid fuck. Why do you sage something already on top.