( ´ω`) hello kids!

(・∀・)y━･ Grandpa, can I just tl;dr that whole thing?

(・ー・） ...okay, you know what? I'm getting tired of this. First you wanted me to help you write a book, then it ended up being really stupid, and now you're just going to tl;dr?

(・ー・） You two just go bother Grandpa or something already, I'm going out for a drink.

(・∀・) ...

( ・ω・) ...

(・∀・) Grandpa, why is everyone trying to make a story here?

( ´ω`) It's just false wisdom. Don't imagine, learn!

(・∀・) Grandpa, is there life on mars?

( ´ω`) Kid, there isn't even intelligent life on Earth.

(・∀・) Grandpa, will we ever find the single quark?

( ´ω`) You're to one who lost it! Now get back out into the yard and look for it!

( ・ω・) Grandpa, what did you get us for Christmas?

( ´ω`) Well I've only purchased one gift so far: contraceptives, so mistakes like Junior don't happen again!
Σ(；ー；）...that hurt...
(;;`Д´) ! I'm taking your present back to the store Grandpa!

( ´ω`) Oh you actually thought of someone other than yourself this year? What'd you buy for me?

(・∀・) You'll find out on Christmas~!

(・∀・) What was christmas like back in your day, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) When I was a lad, Christmas meant getting a stocking full of oranges and Brazil nuts. And we were happy to have 'em!

(・∀・) Do you believe in Santa Claus, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) No. You?

(・∀・) Gee, I was hoping for a story about him being one of your old friends.

(；ー；） I hate you, Grandpa!

( ´ω`) I've been around the world, Junior, and I've seen a lot of strange things. But that doesn't mean I've seen everything.

(・∀・) Have you seen Russia grandpa?

( ´ω`) Even better, I've seen Soviet Russia. He was a silly man.

(・∀・) You don't post much, do you grandpa?

( ´ω`) Nope.

( ´ω`) The key is lurking. With lurking comes wisdom. Lurk more, sonny!

(・∀・) Hay Grandpa, have you played Final Fantasy 4? The original SNES cart, I mean?

(・∀・) I'm playing the GBA version, and I was wondering if you knew about any differences between the versions?

( ´ω`) Did you just curse at me sonny?

　　　┌――――――――┐
　　 　｜.B１�@�A�B�C�D�E.　|
　 　　｜�F�G�H�I�J�K�L�M｜
　 　　└――――――――┘
　　　　 ┌―――┬―――┐
　　　　　|　　　　　 |　　　　　 |┌──────┐
　　　　　|　　　　　 |　　　　　 |│Out of service│
　　　　　|　　　　　 |　　　　　 |└──────┘
　 age 　∧＿∧ 　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　▲C<丶｀∀´> ＜　comon comon！
　　▽ ＼　　　　）　| ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿
　sage　｜Ｏ　　|＿|＿＿＿|
　　　　　〈＿_〈＿〉

(;;・Д・) G-grandpa! Someone's using our elevator!

( ´ω`) Sonny, I have to say but... You are a stupid fuck. Why do you sage something already on top.

(・∀・) For this.

( ´ω`) Sonny, I have to say but...I'm W.T.Snacks.

(・Д・) Grandpa, didn't you know? Nobody pays attention to the email field!

(・∀・) By the way, you've been calling me "Sonny" alot recently... could you have forgotten my name?

( ´ω`) Ergh...

(・∀・) Junior, Ju. Ni. Our. Get that old man?

(・∀・) Grandpa, I fucking hate you. I hate you so goddamn much.

(・∀・) >:(

( ´ω`) DQN spotted!

(・`_´・) Wtf?

(・∀・) Sorry about that, I was feeling emo.

(・∀・)ノ凸 Anyways, here's your medicine, Grandpa!

( ´ω`) No use..... I'm dying junior.

(・∀・) Fine, FINE! I'll ask you more questions!

(・∀・) Grandpa, were you on usenet during Eternal September? I mean, early on.

( ´ω`) "Early on?" I thought that was yesterday. Or maybe I get it mixed up with Black September?

*
/　＼
( ´ω`) Ho ho ho, meerrrry christmas, junior!!

(・∀・) Grandpa's Santa?!?

(・∀・) ZOMG PRESENTZ PLZ

( ´ω`) Have you been a good DQN this year?

(・∀・) Yes, Santa!

(・∀・) No, Santa!

(・∀・) Yes, Santa!

( ´ω`) That´s it! No christmas presents for you.

(・∀・) Noooooooooo! Santa!

(・Д・;）o O ( Christmas is over... and i still haven't gotten any presents..!)

( ´ω`) But you did get a present... you got me!

(・Д・;）o O ( ....... )

(ﾟДﾟ) o O (J-just now.. Did he read my mind?)

(;・∀・) um... Hey Grandpa! We're almost at 1000!

     Nirvana awaits!

( ´ω`) If I live that long.

( ´ω`) Junior, I have to tell you...I think I might finally pass away at >>1000 GET.

( ´ω`) You see, its come to my attention that a lot of the posts here are..interesting, but not as groundbreaking as the previous Grandpa thread. The lesser quality of your questions, and the less energy I have to stay alive.

( ´ω`) Some DQN may come along to make Grandpa 3.0, but the same Grandpa may not be there to answer your stupid questions.

(・∀・) Guess it's time for me to start havin' kids!

(・∀・) Grandpa, will we ever make it too >>1000 ?

( ´ω`) We already did.

( ´ω`) Junior, what self-respecting woman would like a DQN such as yourself?
(・∀・) Fiance---
( ´ω`) No. She was a figment of your imagination...

(・∀・) B-but she's really real!

( ´ω) |・＿・|<丶｀∀´> ( ｀ハ´）（ 　 ﾉ）( ・ω・)(*ﾟーﾟ)(・ー・）(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) No, she isn't, Junior.

（・_・。）i'm really not real. see look, i'm fading away now.
（・_
・
.
bink

(・∀・) .........

(;∀;) WWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

(・∀・) W-was it all just my imagination? E-even Grandpa?!

( ´ω`) No.

(・∀・) What is the Matrix?

( ´ω`) This is the matrix.

──
─────── ― -　--
─── /⌒ヽ　　────────
￣￣　 / ,ﾍ　 　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣　　　,　”　'　‐ , 　　　　　　　
￣￣　i　.i　＼ （　´ω`ヽ, 　　___,, __ ＿ ,, - _―" ’.　　'　・,　　’・　　　 　∧＿∧ 　
──　ヽ勿　　ヽ,__＾ 　 j　 i〜""　　　　 ＿ ― ＿: i ∴”_　∵,　　　　　　(　　　　)
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 　 ヽ,,　/　/　__,,, -- "" ─ "ー ・, ；　; - 、・　　 r=-,/⌒　　〜ヽ
───────　 ヽﾉ　ﾉ,イ　　─── ― -　　　　　 　 　　 　i　ｙ 　ﾉ'　ﾉi　j |
───────　 /　/,. 　ヽ, 　──　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　 i,,___ノ　　　/／
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 　 丿 ﾉ　ヽ,__,ﾉ　＿＿＿ ＿　_ _　　　　　 　　 　　,'　　　　ゝi
　　　　　　　　　　 j　 i　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 ／　　　y　ノ
＿＿＿＿＿ 　 　巛i〜　＿＿＿＿ ＿　　　　　　　　　　　　　/ 　　 ／〜／
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　i　 　<　/

(・∀・) I expected a bit more 3D, but I guess that's okay.

(・∀・) Grandpa, how do you like your tea?

( ´ω`) I like my tea ZA WARUDO!!!!

(・∀・)

( ´ω`) Time has stopped.

(・∀・) |・＿・| <丶｀∀´> ( ｀ハ´）（ 　 ﾉ）( ・ω・) (*ﾟーﾟ) (・ー・） (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）)

( ´ω`) Where am I?

( ´ω`) Oh, right, time stopped. Now how do I turn this thing back on...?

( ´ω`) Aaah, it's not important. ZZZZZzZzzzzzzZzz....

( ´ω`) ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz......

( oωo)ITS

(・∀・)

(・∀・)

(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）)

( ´ω`) Hmm...idea!

( ´ω`) ﾉ@　　　 　(・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!
( ´ω`) ﾉ@　　　 　(・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!

( ´ω`) AHahahaha COUGH COUGH Ahahaha COUGH...ah, that's the shit.

( ´ω`)y━･~~ I need a smoke.

(・∀・)

(・∀・) Grandpa, s'like,,, wow, man. Y'know? Just... woah.... Think about it, man.

( ´ω`) It's over already?

(・∀・)

( ´ω`) Oh, his idiocy was just seeping through.

(・∀・） Don't die on us now, Gramps!

(・∀・) What are your wishes for the new year, Gramps?

(・∀・)

(・∀・)

(・Д・)

( ´ω`) 1. A harem consisting of all the hot babes in anime, hentai, video games, etc.
2. Die by suffocation of several pairs of boobs squished against my head. Then come back to life, then die again.
3. No Grandpa 3.0. I'm too old for this shit.
4. For you to shut up. How'd you even break out of that spell?

( ・ω・) Doesn't it only last for 10 seconds?

( ・ω・) Although the length of 10 seconds when time has stopped is debatable.

( ´ω`)

（　ܶωܶ）

( ・ω・) According to my calculations, if September had ended on time, it would currently be the year 2006 in some areas! Isn't that interesting?

(・Д・) What the fuck are you smoking?

( ´ω`) The Boss was working for the US all along, eh?

( ´ω`) Oh, sorry Junior, didn't mean to spoil the ending to MGS3 or nothing. Since I'm playing Solid Snake in MGS4 I figured I'd go over the whole storyline again.

(・Д・) I was playing that and everything!

( ´ω`) I also saved over your game.

(・Д・) What the f

( ´ω`) THE WORLD!

(・Д・)

( ´ω`) Ah, much better.

(・∀・） niggaplease, STARPLATINUKK!!

( ゜ω゜) W-What?!

(・∀・）Grandpa, what's your opinion on Genghis Kahn, ruler and founder of the Mongol Empire?

( ´ω`) He was here just now. You must have missed him.

(・∀・） Yes, but what do you think of him?

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・） WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HIM!!??

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE PUTTING YOU IN AN ABUSIVE NURSING HOME.