[Part XI] ( ´ω`) Grandpa [Legendary] (999)

1 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5176 15:50

( ´ω`) Hello, kids!

404 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5217 21:38

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　,,,,,........'ｭ,,,　! 　,.- '"　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 `ヽ､　! ,.../--‐‐‐‐- .､..,_
　　　　　　　　　　　 ,.-''"　　　　　＼"ゝ'　　　　　　,i　　/､　　、　　　　　ヾ､ /　　　　　‐=ﾆ、
　　　　　　　　　　　 ゛フ　　 　 　 　 /　　　　 ,ｲ　 /|　 /　`､　'､､　　､　　　 '､　　　　　　,:--ヽ
　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 / _,,　　　 _,,..../ /　./　 / !　/ .! ./　　 ､　i ､　`､　 ',　 ',゛""''' ‐- ､'ｭ、
　　　　　　-､,　 　　 ''" / ,. ‐'"　　i../.　/_,-/"|"7''. !./　　 　 'ヾ:l''''ヽ.､i,'､.　!　 ',
　　　　　　　　　　　　　'´ 　 　 　 ! l　 ｲ´ /.,.-ﾚ- ､,ﾚ　　　　　,.,!-､,､.!`､　l.　 i
　　　　　---　 .　　　　　　　　　 l ｨ　/| ./ｒ'. rＯ゛ヽ　　　　　　ｒＯﾆ:､`ヾ!　'、!　 |　　　404 - POST NOT FOUND!
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ﾚ| /! ﾚ i　 !:llllllll}::!　　　　　 !:|llllll',::i　 l　 ヽ!"'ヽ
　　　　　-'''" .　　　　 　 　 　 　 ! iﾚ=| 　 '　.'､'､llﾉ,'　　　 　 　!:'､llllﾉ:!　 ' 　 ﾚ､ヽ. !
　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 　 　 !　 i　!　 　 　''''" 　 　 　 　 .' - '´　　　 ,　ﾉ　/
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ､ ''|　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　i~゛,.ｒ'
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　フ''!　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　,'゛゛"''‐ ､,
　　　　　　　　　　 　 　　 　　 　 ／　　'､　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ,:'　　　　　 `:.､
　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 　 ／　　　　,ゝ、　　 　 　 ｒ''''''''ヽ　　　　　／ ヽ､　　　 ',""
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ∠...,　　　 /　　ヽ､　　　 """´　　 ,. r '´　　　　`､ i‐--!
　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 　 レ''､ /　　　　　 ゛''┬- .......... -!"　　　　　　　　 `i
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　`　　　　　　 ,r''l　　　　　　!:､
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 /::::､. 　　 　 /::::､
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 ／!::::::::::＼　 .／:::::::::::}:､
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 ／　 l::::::::::::::::>'<::::::::::::::::!　` ､
　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　 　 　 　 　 ／　　　 '､::::::／ ○＼::::::::/ 　 　.＼
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ,.'　　　　　　 '､/　　　　　ヽ:'　　　　　　':､

405 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5218 14:57

(・∀・) Grandpa, what did you do before there was a 404 girl?

406 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5218 15:04

( ´ω`) We'd have to file out a report and then go down to the office of missing pages.

407 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5218 21:59

(・∀・) Grandpa, why is Clonepa's thread so much more interesting than this one?

408 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5218 22:17

( ´ω`) Because you dropped the ball, Junior. Your performance during this thread has been lackluster.

( ´ω`) I'm docking your pay if you don't shape up.

409 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5218 22:18

( ・ω・) I also got a bigger stage budget.

410 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5218 23:45

( ´ω`) Well, I got a bigger dick.

411 Name: ​ : 1993-09-5219 00:27

―ＡND ＴHEN ＧRANDPA ＤIED―

412 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 00:29

( ´ω`) hmmmm?

413 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 03:49

―I SAID, AND THEN GRANDPA DIED―

414 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 04:46

( ´ω`) Okay then, if you say so.
( xω x) ...

415 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 04:51

(・∀・) If I kiss him will he revive?

416 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 05:10

( xω x) Try it and you'll be the one who needs reviving.

417 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 12:25

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's life like when you're dead?

418 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 12:33

( xωx) Brains...

419 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 12:58

(・...・) someone say brains?

420 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 16:59

(・∀・) Don't eat my brains!!

421 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 17:00

( ´ﾟωﾟ`) You have brains? When did this happen?

422 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5219 17:38

(・∀・) I don't, it just seemed like an appropriate thing to yell in such a situation.

423 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5220 13:26

( ´ﾟωﾟ`) I guess if you had brains I would have eaten them a long time ago.

424 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 17:37

(・∀・) Whew! I sure dodged a bullet there!

425 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 17:38

( ´ω`) Jeez, it took you two days to find your place in the script?

426 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 18:08

(・∀・) Script? What script?
(・∀・) OH SHI-

427 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 19:54

( ´ω`) You've been ad-libbing all this time?

428 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 19:55

( ・-・) Wake up Grandpa, you need to take your p-

( ・-・) ....

( ・-・) Are we taking a break or something?

429 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 21:23

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was unscripted life like?

430 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 22:05

( ´ω`) Like a box of choclits.

431 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5222 22:49

( ・-・) ya never know what ya gonna gi-

( ・-・) Oops. Sorry, that was your line.

432 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 04:29

(´ω` ) I'll be in my trailer.

|彡

433 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 07:54

―ＡND ＴHEN ＧRANDPA ＤIED―

434 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 10:03

( ・-・) From overdosing on his pills.

435 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 13:47

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) And I inherited his vast fortune!

436 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 13:49

（　｀ハ´） And I swindled it right out of your hands.

437 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 14:43

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) I hate you, Darkpa!

438 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 15:17

(・∀・) Bereft of adult leadership, I took up a life of crime.

439 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 15:29

( ・ω・) I bec∵∴∵ame t∵∴a∵s∵∴inn∵∴∵∴

440 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 15:44

(´^ิω＾ิ) I said "DURR" a few more times before going to Harvard and starting a long career in politics.

441 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 16:37

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) I still like mittens! Some things never change.

442 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 16:46

( ´ω`) What the hell are all you knuckleheads blabbering about?

443 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 16:58

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) Hi Grandpa! How was being dead?

444 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 19:31

( ´ω`) It was like being stuck in a room with all of you for 444 days.

445 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 19:34

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) I have great news for you. They gave Mom Christmas leave this year.

446 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5223 23:17

( ´ω`) Your mother has a generous pimp.

447 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5224 09:55

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Will she bring mittens!?

448 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5224 14:52

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) Maybe. She said that the rehab center had her doing crafts as part of her therapy.

449 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5225 20:34

( ´ω`) Great, more macaroni pictures.

450 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 01:01

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Macaronis! Sounds almost like Mittens!

451 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 04:57

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was 4-ch like when Mittens had her own thread to natter on about her personal obsession with knitted handcoverings?

(・∀・) Oh, wait, she still does.

452 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 11:47

( ´ω`) Management's got her doing guest spots in all the character threads, Junior. Polls indicate that she's everyone's favorite.

453 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 14:08

（　・∀・）Grandpa why are you so fat have you consdiered a diet old man haha you will never surpass me now

454 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 15:39

( ´ω`) Yes, I could never hope to surpass your levels of stupidity, Junior.

455 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 18:49

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Everybody loves mittens, Mittens, MITTENS, MITTENS

(　>ヮ<) MIIIIT-TEEEENNNSSSS!!!

( ﾟ -ﾟ) Whew, I'm pooped.

456 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 20:17

(・∀・) Grandpa! Tell us another mildly disturbing fact about your current sex life!

457 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 20:24

( ´ω`) I use mittens as condoms.

458 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 23:05

( ﾟ ヮﾟ)

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ewwwwwww

459 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 23:07

(・∀・) Grandpa, among the many jobs you've had in your life, which was your favorite?

460 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 01:25

( ´ω`) Volunteer beer taster.

461 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 02:12

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Mittens quality inspector!

(・∀・) Really? Why didn't you stay in the job?

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) I failed every mitten so I could keep them myself.

(・∀・) Duh, obviously they would fire you for that.

( ﾟ -ﾟ) No, but they set fire to all the failed mittens.

462 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 02:24

( ・-・) Serves you right, you greedy little strumpet.

463 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 04:07

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ...what?

464 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 17:59

( ´ω`) THAT explains why that masked whore insisted I use mittens as condoms!

465 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 18:57

(　･ิω･ิ) Wow, you too?

466 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 02:12

( ﾟ -ﾟ) .....

( ﾟ -ﾟ) I don't know what you guys are talking about.

467 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 12:35

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) WHORES!

468 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 12:55

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟ∀ﾟ)彡 WHORES!
　⊂彡 WHORES!

469 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 15:45

(　･ิm･ิ) What's the ugliest part of your body?
(　･ิm･ิ) Some say it's your nose?
(　･ิm･ิ) Some say it's your toes?
(　･ิm･ิ) I think it's your mittens!

470 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 19:38

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ..... et tu, Frankpa?

(ﾟ- ﾟ )

|彡

471 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 22:24

( ´ω`) I thought she'd never leave.

( ´ω`) Time to hand out Christmas presents!

472 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 22:26

(・∀・) I got a new bicycle!

(　･ิω･ิ) I got tartar control nachos!

( ・-・) I got a rock.

473 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 22:36

( ﾟ mﾟ) I'm not really into the whole getting a brand new iPhone for Xmas thing.

474 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 00:32

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) I got a bag of
ﾐ*ﾟ-ﾟ) ... oh, it's only chocolate money.

475 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 04:55

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Did I get anything?

476 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 09:02

( ´ω`) I was going to get you mittens, but you allready BOUGHT ALL THE ONES IN THE CITY.

477 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 12:46

( ´ω`) So I skinned a pair of hamsters for you. If you stick your thumbs into their scrotal sacs, they're kind of like mittens.

478 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 17:02

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Yay!

479 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 23:13

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) I got a bag of

480 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5230 01:20

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) bags.

481 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5230 04:56

(・∀・) Would those be ... funbags?

482 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5230 20:02

（　｀ハ´） I received everything in the refrigerator. My most heartfelt thanks, Grandpa.

|彡

483 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5231 14:18

( ´ω`) I'd appreciate it if you brought back the thing that looks like a paint can.

( ´ω`) That's the stool sample I was saving for the lab tests.

484 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5231 21:42

（　｀ハ´） I cooked it up for the stableboy already. He loved it.

485 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5231 23:38

( ・ω・) It's the only thing I've had to eat all month.

486 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5232 01:12

( ´ω`) Dammit, it could be weeks before I pass another one...

487 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5232 15:57

（　｀ハ´） I can offer you these premium laxatives at a bargain price.

488 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5233 17:36

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like back in your days?

489 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5233 17:36

( ´ω`) Back in my day, I could shit like a draft horse.

490 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 20:04

( ´ω`) Back in those days, I had no wife, no horse, no mustache, and things were just peachy. We had just finished punishing Germany for bombing Pearl Harbor, and I was up to my hips in adorable Filipino girls. It was paradise.

( ´ω`) Then WWIII happened, and everything went up in nuclear fire. And it was then that I grew a mustache.

491 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 22:02

(・∀・) Why a mustache, Grandpa?

492 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5236 00:46

( ´ω`) The mutants wouldn't eat me if I had a mustache. They didn't like the way it tickled their throats on the way down.

493 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5236 20:21

(・∀・) So what's with the nutsack?

494 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 01:46

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) It's so he can wear more mittens

495 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 20:52

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was the internet like before SomethingAwful was replaced by a domain parker website?

496 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 21:32

( ´ω`) The nutsack happens to all the men in our family. You'll get yours around age 12.

497 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 22:23

(・∀・) Speed it up, Cramps. You're two topics behind.

498 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:23

( ´ω`) Go to your room. You're annoying me.

499 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:25

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) What was your proudest GET?

500 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:26

( ・-・) What a stupid question.

501 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:35

( ´ω`) That would be the rare 501get, which I use to make custom bluejeans.

502 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 12:27

( ・-・) What a stupid answer.

503 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 17:37

(・∀・) Grandpa, I know doing drugs is bad, but is selling them to make a profit?

Return Entire thread Previous 100 posts Next 100 posts Last 50 posts
This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.