We start a little apart but then he pulls my body to his. I'm drunk and everything is wonderful and warm; my feet hurt from my heels but I don't care. The music is terrible and I can't find a good beat but I don't care. We're the only people dancing and I definitely don't care.

Pretty soon we are grinding - he holds my hand in his, our fingers intertwined. I normally feel so weird about dancing like this with a guy, but he smells nice, and every time I look at him he smiles at me.

(I feel really self-conscious about my body as he's running his hands over me...I need to lose weight, his body is so tight and toned and perfect...ugh.)

Before I know it, he's mouthing my ear - not kissing, mind you, but mouthing - lips and teeth, a lot of teeth, but occasionally a flicker of tongue. He nips at my ears sharply, but every time it almost hurts too much he stops and soothes it. His breath is really hot.

And I'm thinking, OH MY GOD.

There are other things he did, too. Like, he squeezed me real tight, until it hurt, and I'd squeeze back, his arms wrapped around my arms wrapped around me, our hands linked together. He'd also push me away a little and pull me back to him, or use my clothes to turn me around the way he wanted me to.

I kept on thinking, don't kiss him, don't kiss him, because I don't want him to think I'm easy, I don't want to end up making out with him because I like him so much and he's just drunk!

But then I think...if I never see him again after this, how sorry would I be if I never kissed him?

But we never kissed! I touch my lips to his lightly, pull away and smile at him, and he smiles at me, or he'll nuzzle my lips very softly but not apply pressure, and pull away and smile.

Aaah I'm so confused, no one has ever been like this and not wanted to make out before!

We dance like this for the next two hours, and when my friend calls to pick me up, we break apart like nothing.

Although he does say, "Do you have to go home after this?" and I say yes but he doesn't put up a fuss.

We get driven back... I go to get my things. He holds my hand the entire ride back. When I get out of the car, I pull him with me. He says, "you are so drunk!" and I say, "No, you are!"

When we get inside, we pass a bunch of people, and then he pulls me into a quiet room and K I S S E S M E so very suddenly, full on my lips, his tongue pressing into my mouth.

But it's a very short, soft kiss before we break apart.

I say, in a small, unsure voice, "Can I see you again?"
He smiles and says, "of course!"

I like him so much...Something is wrong with me...he probably just wants to be friends, right? I mean, alcohol makes everyone make out...Argh....

I feel so stupid.

＿|￣|O

--END OLD POST--