Hi 4-ch, I'm new to these boards. I've been looking for an anonymous text forum like this... I recently read all of Densha Otoko and it gave me hope in finding the right person - as I'm sure it did for many of you! (Yes, I feel like a DORK admitting this, but that story really touched me.)
Ah, I am really hopeless.
My specs?
I am female, Asian, 22, and a V I R G I N. I could stand to lose some weight, but I'm proportionate, and I have...ahem, "assets." Height: 5'2"
Weight: 130lb
Measurements last time I measured: 40-29-30 (i think...)
Style: alternative (like Hong Kong street fashion nerd)
My last boyfriend was in highschool, for a total of two months. The most we ever did was kiss.
Since him I have been primarily interested in girls. But I have never had sex with them, either. I'm too ashamed of my body to get naked in front of another person...and the last girl I liked and who liked me back was two years ago...The most we ever did was kiss and a little groping.
Um. I'm really weird, too. I have had sexual experiences but they're not the normal kind.
I was molested when I was 12, so I'm really afraid of sex with men. No rape, just touching and forced kissing. This isn't a troll post, even though what I say will sound really strange and fetishy, like out of a hentai or something.
I also kind of like domination as a result, because it fucked me up. I hate loli (it makes me want to cry when it's with a guy), but I LOVE shota, because it allows me to fantasize without being too personal to me. (And I like fem/loli)
OTL Sorry, sorry. This is the Romance board, I know.
I guess my point is that I'm a strange-type girl who has a lot of fetishes and a fear of men. I have straight guy friends, but I'm always the one that they think is weird but fun and would never date me. My problem with women is that I like a certain type, and somehow they are never attracted to me. (At least, I don't think...??) I tend to go for girls who are out of my league.
Really, I don't know where to meet people. I have accounts on dating sites but they never go anywhere. Even that isn't good enough for me, though, because I dream of the kind of old school romance where you meet somebody and fall for them...
As a fluke, I met a boy recently, and I like him so much I don't know what to do with myself. I usually never go for boys because the thought of sex with them terrifies/even disgusts me, but he's so my Ideal Type that it's stupid for me not to want him.
He's really out of my league, though. He's really GORGEOUS (blonde, grey eyes, perfect body), he's SMART, and he's funny. I feel like I'm so infatuated with him...ahhh....I'm hopeless. He looks like the kind of boy who could have anybody he wants.
I told him, "I'm weird..."
And he says, "but that makes it interesting..."
Examples of weirdness: I'm really into horror, eroguro, shota, yaoi, hardcore gay porn, strange fetish porn (for lulz), tentacles, and dickgirls, etc.... basically, almost anything except watersports and scat. And I'm into psychology, so I love discussing porn as discourse.
/nerd
I'm so afraid when I tell him how really weird I am he won't like me at all! I made him laugh a couple of times, so he'll want to be my friend, but considering how much I like him that would be M O A R P A I N F U L
(I once confessed love to my male best friend and he said, "I'm sorry, I can't think of you that way." Because we are best friends. But then he got into a relationship with my OTHER best friend, because she asked him to fuck her. They started fucking and he developed feelings for her, and they are still together now, 3 years later.)
aahhh I lost track of where I was going with this post. I'm really sorry.
tl;dr I'm a fetishy Asian girl with a hardcore crush on a really beautiful boy who is TOTALLY out of my league. I'm scared of sex with him and I don't know how to make boys like me. I'm an old-school romantic and I know this is hopeless.
thoughts?
You're not much worse off than most of the people on 4-ch, really. You mentioned that you're on a few dating sites, but here's a few more to try:
OkCupid, JustSayHi, PlentyofFish, Mogenic (to find women), and Anonidate. Anonidate would probably be your best bet.
You're basically the dream girl for most guys/girls on this board, and I personally am sighing and shaking my head at your lack of self-confidence. Your fetishes and interests aren't anything weird to us, and even I share most of them.
I can say from experience that it is much more difficult for a her. It's a hundred times easier to find a man who accepts you. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but just that it's unlikely.
It's an odd question, but have you watched Maria-sama ga Miteru? The show has a "soeur" system, in which an older girl takes a younger girl under her wing and treats her as a sister, usually resulting in a bond on the edge of romance. That kind of bond might be what you're looking for, as you have the dedication to another person without worrying about sex. There's various Livejournals / forums dedicated to helping women find their soeurs, although this person will likely be on the other side of the planet. If it's something you're interested in, I suggest watching the show and then signing up for an LJ group/forum.
Also, welcome to 4-ch. Will you marry me?
>>2 here. I just noticed that you were asking for advice specifically on that boy.
"Pretty Boys" are almost always a waste of time. They spend so much time making themselves look good that they simply hop from the cutest girl to the cutest girl. I'd suggest straying from such a boy.
haha, I'm on OKCupid. Not to say who as, but I get Quickmatch selected quite a bit and....several views per week. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly, but I know I'm "weird."
I'm so addicted to 4-ch romance board now! The culture is entirely different from *chans and I love reading about romance...I'm a hopeless romantic at heart.
Sorry, I know I rambled in that post. I guess I'm too excited to be here.
And that's what I'm afraid of, with him. I'm rarely ever attracted to men but he's my Ideal Type so much that it's terrifying. Ahh...I like him so much...
CALM DOWN, SELF.
I've heard of Maria-sama! I think one of my problems is that in lesbian relationships girls always expect me to be UBERSEME, because I like to talk in a guyish way, and I enjoy it, but sometimes I want to be taken care of...my true fantasy is to be dominated by a girl (is this too explicit for Romance board? XD) Also, I'm older.
And no one ever believes I'm the big V.
I'm a really devoted person. My last gf was really beautiful, TOTALLY out of my league (even though we never got anywhere beyond kissing). It was a long-distance relationship and there was a lot of drama involved. Since her I have tried dating but I have been unable to be attracted to anyone else...(she also dicked me around and said things like "I'm still in love with you" when she dated guys after me...)
I think I sound like a really shallow person, but it's more like I have an unrealistic ideal of romance...like, I want to find someone I'm really attracted to and devote myself to them 100%. Since I'm a virgin, it's very very important who that person is.
Is he a nice guy?
How well do you know him?
He seems nice! I don't know, I just met him; I haven't even known him a week.
if I say where, it may give too much information away, because it was a pretty specific event.
I know we have similar interests, but I also know he's an asshole. Let's just say he's familiar with /b/...
I want to be dramatic and say I feel like it's a lightning-strike kind of infatuation. It's not that he's just attractive, it's that he's so SMART, and just listening to him speak intellectually made my heart pound.
OP go kill yourself in fire
>>7 lol, you're so original.
If I want your opinion I'll take my dick out of your mouth.
You shouldn't get too excited if you haven't known him very long.
He might be gay, y'know.
it's a tarp
THIS.
Not gay, though. First thing I checked was Facebook when we facebook friended (lulz, I know). Single, into girls.
That's why I came here, to see how straight guys might feel about this. (I feel my own friends are biased, and they do not all know my history so well...)
Updates as they happen.
>>1 I don't want to offend you, but when i read your story i picture one of the MALE 4-chan'ers in his underwear typing his ideal woman. Seriously, you are a girl?:-o
Whatever, just ask the damn guy out. YES, ask him out. Be open, try it...show him who you really are, and if that doesn't work..well life sucks. Get up and try it again on the next one. Densha otoko romance is bullshit. The fucking nerd was lucky beyond god lucky, you are not(neither are the rest of humanity).
>>4,
I have the same problem in relationships with women. I'm big-boned and muscular, and act kind of masculine, but I'm the submissive one in my personality. The only women who become attracted to me are the shy little submissive types. ._.; It's a pretty hopeless situation. I hope you have better luck.
Also, I don't think you have an unrealistic idea of romance. It's simply that you probably won't be content in a relationship for quite a while, until you find "The One". Keep searching, though! The worst thing you can do is settle for less than your ideal.
-laughs- yes, I'm a girl. I know, tits or GTFO, but I can provide evidence. I guess I just don't think I'm that attractive. I'm not the stereotypical Asian girl that most *channers fantasize about, I'm sure. I don't look like Ayumi Hamasaki or a Momusu member, (or kipi if you like cosplay), I have no ass, currently thunderthighs, I'm squishy, (but I do have b00berZ).
Yes, weight is my issue, and yes, I plan to do something about it.
Anyway, solid advice! I'll update the thread if it goes anywhere.
>>13 fuck, now I'm confused.
Actually, here's a serious question for guys: does it turn you off when girls confess their feelings? I know I saw another thread on this, but here's my personal experience: I've only done it once, to my best friend whom I thought liked me back, and it ended in epic phail. My friend has done it THREE times (although I was sure none of the guys were into her) and failed even more epically.
The theory seems to be, if the guy is into you, then he will pursue you, as society dictates, right? Or he will go out with you if you tell him you like him, because if he's your friend he's at least attracted on some level?
tl;dr who believes in ladder theory?
Confessions are bad for either sex. You should try to let relationships develop naturally. There's no need to confess your feelings if you show them through your actions. If you confess, you'll look foolish at best, romantically inept at worst.
Rather than confess, I would recommend being flirtatious, keeping your attention on the person whenever possible, going out of your way to help them without being too obvious or generous, and, if you just want to go in for the kill, ask to spend some time one-on-one with them.
>>13
is probably a troll, look at the codes.
As for your post, I wouldn't recommend confessing since just like you, when I tried it I got splattered all over the landscape. If anything, ask him out on a date or something like that. Personally, I would be thrilled if a nice girl asked me out. It's not likely to happen due to society's silly 'rules', but I can dream, right?
Don't worry OP, I wouldn't fuck you either.
LOL THUNDERTHIGHS
The Internet is a series of tubes and there are NO GIRLS in it. none. OP is a LIER!!!!!!1
UPDATE:
Me: "...Can I be sketchay and ask you to dinner?"
HIM: "haha, sketchay?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "Of course! :D"
Me: (internally) SCORE
HIM: "I'm new to the area, so I'll say yes to anything!"
Me: "Oh, of course, haha!"
(internally) -shot and bleeding on the floor-
Dunno about confession really, but if you're going to try it do it alone with him and don't make him uncomfortable.
I have turned down a girl (quite abruptly, I may add) who asked me out in front of some friends (and my own sister, duh); after reflexion, in another situation I might have given her a chance. Or at least I would've been more gentle.
Also, everyone, please remember this in not your fourchonz. Let's try to stay civil.
By the way, OP, care if I ask where country you're from?
Thanks! I can take fourchonz speak, though. (clearly, haha) But I'd hate to shit all over my own thread :[
I'm Chinese, not the much prized ~Nipponese~, but I speak fluent Cantonese. My mother is from HK and my dad is from the Mainland.
People mistake me for Korean a lot, though. And any weeaboo who doesn't know thinks I'm JPN due to clothing style.
Who's this guy?
>>26
Oh, okay. Close call then :p
>>24
Ouch ;o; Well, he did say yes at least. Hopefully the night goes well, try to see if he went just to see new places or if he's genuinely interested. Hopefully the latter!
Also to all the sagers, Chinese girls are cute, too. I've known quite a few...they all had boyfriends though, feh. The ones I knew were incredibly loyal though, that's for sure.
>>30
Yes, and no!
Don't start being paranoid around him because of me ^^:
Haha. Damn, OP, you're exactly the sort of girl I wish I knew more of.
(BTW, I'm a girl with a severe lack of female friends. D:)
Best plot twist would be is that we're both reading this board, and he REVEALS at the end, haha.
Will update on dinner after it happens.
>>32 I'd love to be friends! Um. Only we cannot reveal the identity...haha. And I don't particularly want to be found out... >_<
UPDATE ON ROMANCE FRONT:
have not gone to dinner yet (set for tomorrow night omg omg) but I essentially had to break up with my ex-gf all over again, because we've been kind of on and off these past two years, even though we only dated for two months.
I dated her six months after she broke up with my friend. I cleared this with my friend first, and she said it was okay. (Protip: never listen to a woman when she says, "everything is fine") I C H A S E her and she confesses that she likes me. We get together, my friend (her ex) gets jealous, starts to C H A S E again, eventually, the girl leaves me for her ex (my friend).
They have a horrible breakup four months later? Maybe six? Either way, my ex - I'm gonna call her Loli cause she was 16 at the time - comes crying to me. I comfort. And from there we have a tumultuous two years of confused feelings and territorialness.
She would get jealous and possessive of people I saw (even casually), even though she actually had a boyfriend since me. She would tell my friends things like, "I'm still in love with Crusher" and tell me "you're my most important person" and "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" even though she also "loved" these two other boys.
It killed me.
(The reason we never got back together is that it was a long-distance relationship and I never want to do that ever again.)
One of the reasons I'm so excited about this new boy is that I haven't been able to be this attracted to anyone since her (guys AND girls). But when she found out, it really tore her up, and my timing was shitty, she just lost a family member.
I finally broke it off with her of course, for good, but ahhh I feel like shit. OTL
It was even worse than the first breakup. It hurts...but it feels good to move on...
tl;dr lol lesbian drama
for some reason i find it very disturbing how this thread is always bumped to the top in romance board
also OP needs to stop whining and baawwing (especially if you are not attractive looking with thunderthighs), no wonder people are not attracted to you
I felt bad for OP at first, but at this point she's just bitching. This thread should be titled "The life you wish you had, as told by an overenthusiastic Asian woman".
Your life is a hundred times better than most of the people on here, OP. Stop complaining about it.
>>36
hmm. Perhaps you are right. I am doubting myself too much. From now on, no updating this thread unless I really don't know what to do/something truly terrible happens.
I still like this board, but I'll restrain myself to anon-posting to see if I can help out others with some advice of my own.
Thank you, Anon.