You're not much worse off than most of the people on 4-ch, really. You mentioned that you're on a few dating sites, but here's a few more to try:

OkCupid, JustSayHi, PlentyofFish, Mogenic (to find women), and Anonidate. Anonidate would probably be your best bet.

You're basically the dream girl for most guys/girls on this board, and I personally am sighing and shaking my head at your lack of self-confidence. Your fetishes and interests aren't anything weird to us, and even I share most of them.

I can say from experience that it is much more difficult for a her. It's a hundred times easier to find a man who accepts you. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but just that it's unlikely.

It's an odd question, but have you watched Maria-sama ga Miteru? The show has a "soeur" system, in which an older girl takes a younger girl under her wing and treats her as a sister, usually resulting in a bond on the edge of romance. That kind of bond might be what you're looking for, as you have the dedication to another person without worrying about sex. There's various Livejournals / forums dedicated to helping women find their soeurs, although this person will likely be on the other side of the planet. If it's something you're interested in, I suggest watching the show and then signing up for an LJ group/forum.

Also, welcome to 4-ch. Will you marry me?