Tired of being alone (15)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-22 21:46 ID:QMsYNmSi

Hay romance. I have come to you because I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m pretty much an average 21 year old guy. I have pretty average looks. I’m a bit of an introvert, I like to stay at home on the computer, but I still have a small group of friends who I hang out with once a week. I don’t have any real talents. I’m ok at a lot of things and have been over seas a bit in my life. Most of the things I find interesting are nerdy, everyday things just seem boring. I really hate to say this because of the connotations it seems to have developed, but I’m really just a nice guy. By “nice guy” I don’t mean one of those people who sit around bemoaning the fact that a girlfriend doesn’t fall into their lap, and who think that their single status is the byproduct of lying girls who say they want nice guys but then only go for jerks. I’m just a normal guy who was raised to be polite to women, hold doors and speak politely, like that. I also realize that a big part of me being single has to do with my own introverted nature.

However my problems do not come from some nice guy syndrome. I have actually been working and succeeding on improving myself. I have started to care more about my appearance and am even trying to expand my social life and be more comfortable with girls. My problem is that I don’t know where or how to meet girls. All of the girls I run into in college seem to be taken already. And I have no idea where to go to meet girls outside of school. I live in the suburbs so its not like there are a lot of places to go around here either.

I’m really starting to get desperate. I’ve been telling myself “this will be the year it all terns around” for the past six years. All of my friends are either in relationships or are happily single and not interested in looking for anyone. I’m just tired of being alone I want someone to smile with and have fun with. Please help me romance.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-22 22:06 ID:VlV/ElOF

There are plenty of ways to find women:

  • friends of your friends: you have female friends, it seems (or at least your friends have girlfriends, who should have friends). Get to know your female friend's friends, there's always bachelors among them
  • parties: get invited to parties to which your friends take part. It's a great chance to meet new people
  • group activities: take part in group activities which interest you, and where you'll meet women. Dancing is a great one, as it's always packed with women and much fewer men, but there are other options like hiking, theater, etc.
  • if you are still a student, get to know the women in your class, and do things with them, like going to the movies, having a drink. That's also a great way to meet more people, as they will have friends, etc. If you are working, just do the same with your work mates.

3 Name: rhyelee : 2009-06-23 03:32 ID:Wo/GrKob

I agree with >>2.

And what about clubs at your school, if you guys have them? College is a big place, you're bound to find someone you can bond with. And plus, if you get involved in a club, you can find someone with the same interest as you! :)

Aza aza fighting! Don't give up and stay positive - you can do it! :D

4 Name: o.p. : 2009-06-24 04:00 ID:QMsYNmSi

This all sounds like good advice. Unfortunately my main group of friends is not to into partying. I did manage to get invited to one party this summer. Unfortunately there were only a very small number of girls all of whom were already with someone, although they weren’t really my type anyway. I’m going through a strange time in college right now but when I settle down the club suggestion sounds rather good.

I was wondering of anyplace that might be good to try over the break. The only places I can think of are book stores and malls. I would like to be able to meet girls that are intelligent and I don’t really know what kind of places attracts them best.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-24 05:09 ID:tZBU0beJ

>>4
Simple. Make new friends that do party or the like.
Try social networking websites like Facebook or Myspace for both friends and potential girlfriends.
Expand your interests and hobbies to meet new types of girls.

Also, don't try to find "intelligent" girls. They don't exist. Haha, not really, but try not to be picky.
Sometimes your fated one may not be "intelligent," but rather just "average."

Never set ridiculous standards or unrealistic standards. Try to keep them as low as you can without dating whores.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-24 09:50 ID:ogAfzA/4

random parks might have some single girls reading books on the grass/benches.. :P

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-25 08:59 ID:Heaven

>>6
Guy approaching me in the park = stalker.

8 Name: >>4 : 2009-06-25 21:52 ID:gfiXNMNo

Hey I am single myself, so my advice probably won't count. But since you said that you like intelligent girls, you may try to get into art and visit avant-garde galleries/exhibitions. Such places attract intelligent girls, but don't go clueless. Do your homework since you sound pretty internet-literate :)

Hope you'll find what you're looking for. Good luck!

9 Name: o.p. : 2009-06-25 22:45 ID:QMsYNmSi

>>7 I have to say I agree. That is part of why I have never approached girls that I don’t know beforehand, I would kind of feel like a stalker. Of course when I try girls that I do now I get Friendzoned without a second thought, the look on their face says the never even considered me as datable.

>>8 This shouldn’t be too hard. I’m switching to an art major so I could actually use my school lessons for something. Surprisingly I never even thought of this, I’ll have to give it a try.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-27 15:45 ID:W0UPCLQ0

>>1

Hello. Give me back my identity.

11 Name: intelligent girl : 2009-07-03 04:36 ID:0G2jBdw2

I'm an intelligent girl and so are my friends. I'm not speaking for myself, but intelligent girls like me. We do the same things you do; stay home, play on the computer, do research on interesting topics for fun, likes nerdy offbeat things...we don't really go to parties, we are pretty straight edge..sometime, if not most.

I would say anime conventions or art galleries, the manga section of Barns & Noble, China Town...those are places me and friends go to, but we are very few...its hard for me to find friends since these places I frequent for fun attract older people..or younger, or ppl I don't really clique with. : / ...but you won't really find us at clubs or parties dancing, getting sloshed, and carrying on. After all we are pretty introverted ourselves. I for one am extremely shy and is very hard to find guys that I can clique with, introverted offbeat (nerdy cool but not crazy) guys.

...where do guys like you hang out? :/

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-03 04:53 ID:m5yOCGTe

>where do guys like you hang out? :/

here, it seems ^_^ But honestly, apart from the internet, I think the only way to meet similar people is to become more active in the center of interest we have (i.e. conventions, manga clubs, etc). Because at he end of the day, and unless you reach them via internet, you can't meet people who refuse to go out of their home and mix with others.

13 Name: o.p. : 2009-07-05 03:24 ID:QMsYNmSi

>>11 It seems that we all tend to hang out at the same places. When I’m outside of home I usually go to book stores, video game stores, or I hang around the Libraries at school. I’m starting to think that school or college are the best venues for people like us to meet. They kind of force us together. I never thought I’d say this but I kind of want summer to end now -__-.

For my part I’ve been snatching up every social opportunity that comes my way. I’ve even gone to a party. Not a nerd party like a lan party (although I have gone to one of those), a “real” party. It was kind of fun but it did remind me that I probably won’t meet the kind of girl I want there. Still I do feel like I have gotten a little stronger even if I’m no closer to finding a girl. I’m going to keep putting myself out there and see what I can learn.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-09 07:50 ID:p4PAFHxo

Learn to enjoy being single is my advice. I have a similar personality to you. I was in a relationship for 2 years and that ended. I'm not even looking for women now, be like your single friends and enjoy the single life while you can. You are only 21, if you are looking for something really long term you have a lot of time. Get to 25, settle down in a career, get money and you will be amazed how many women find a stable job a turn on. Not to mention you will meet women in your career, esp. if you an artfag. I'm an engineer, my graduating class had 3 girls in my major.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-09 12:04 ID:XgfKEHc2

Remember the old Italian fable about the man who goes looking for ladybeetles... actively seeking out girls to chase often narrows your vision and makes you miss awesome relationship opportunities that are staring you in the face, sometimes literally...

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.