I've got it pretty bad. My only 'crush' was an anime character, and I'm afraid of never feeling like that again (it was stupid and childish, but kind of fun).
I'm sure that 3D people are interesting, but small talk bores me and I don't know how else to get to know them. I relate more to songs, books, and anime than I do people because of this. I would even go as far as to say those things seem more real to me.
I know I have to stop this way of thinking. I'm starting to think of myself as someone unable to connect, someone unlike (maybe even unworthy) of all the 'normal people' around me. That sounds so egocentric that it can't be true. But what do I do?
Go out into the 3D world more. Talk to real people more. Talk to your 3D friends. Do more 3D things. Watch 3D porn.
Do less 2D-related stuff.
Leave your 2d world, go to reality. Stay there for like a year, if it sucks (and it will) , by all means go back.
there are other people like you, so your not alone, but I agree with >>3
Just for a bit of background, I'm not a 30-year old programmer hiding in his basement (or any other stereotypical situation); I'm a female philosophy student living in the campus dorms.
Oh, how I wish I could hide away in my house and never come out. I have to meet people daily and it just makes me nervous. I have no idea how to act in my own room and spend a lot of the time avoiding it and my roommate. The fact that I'm on the computer today even makes me a little… you know? But I don't see anything else to do but homework, though, and most of that is also on the computer.
>2 Go out into the 3D world more.
I go out into the 3D world all the time. Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes I don't see what the big fuss is about.
>2 Talk to real people more.
I talk to real people as much as I can stand. But as I said, small talk bores me. I usually just put on my nicest face and pretend I’m not bored. It gets tiring to do that, though. After so long I want to run home and relax.
>2 Talk to your 3D friends.
I already said that I don't know how to get to know people, so 2D people and things seem more interesting. Moreover, I don't have any friends, but just acquaintances that I'm not really attached to. If any of them were to die tomorrow, I'd probably just shrug it off: 'She was nice. Oh well.'
>2 Do more 3D things.
I can't think of any more. I’m not very athletic but I’ll occasionally do a little of everything from eating out to going hiking. I would do more if I had a car, had more money, lived in a bigger town, etc. I’m usually alone, though.
>2 Watch 3D porn.
Um, I don't even watch 2D porn. I admit that 3D porn would probably gross me out, while 2D stuff is something I'm afraid of liking.
Real people kind of turn me off, though. They just don’t seem that deep. I can develop a liking for an anime character (or even a book character) fairly easily, but I can’t imagine ever being that fond of a real person.
>3 if it sucks (and it will)
The world is fine, I just don't like all the people all the time.
funny, I thought smart DEEP students in general were the most sociable in college. it's like that around here anyway.
I'm not smart yet, I just started and I'm not sure if I really belong there. I do see a few other phil students who seem nice enough, but until I feel like less of a noob, I don't really think I'd have much to contribute. Not yet.
I feel a bit like 'read more first and THEN you'll be worthy' so it makes me want to avoid people even more.
Ah, you're a girl. It's harder for girls than guys to get rid of "relations" with fictional characters. Again, do less stuff involving 2D characters and go out and make some friends. You're problem is that you're afraid of getting your feet wet.
Get used to small talk. You're going to need it if you want to escape the 2D whirlpool. Also, if you find most people boring, then try and find interesting people.
You know what's wrong. You just need to figure out how to fix those problems.
>01
I totally understand you. To me real people are just not interesting, that is, they try so hard to be interesting but somehow it is easy to see who is interesting and who's not (the latter are more common).
I though living in a dorm should be fun. Never had a chance to live there but try... drinking and maybe it'll help :D I am serious.
>>Never had a chance to live there but try... drinking and maybe it'll help
Bad idea. If you make a habit of reaching for the bottle in order to get the courage to socialize, you might one day find yourself needing the bottle.
Then, you run the risk of ending up like me. I used to find that the only way I could stand parties was if I was totally wasted. Soon, though, I found out that I still didn't enjoy conversation, even when I was drunk. So I'd start each new party by grabbing several beers or a bottle of liquor and slinking off to a corner to drink by myself. Then, I asked myself, "if this is what I'm doing, why the fuck do I still go to parties?"
Now I just skip the partying and get drunk at home, all by my lonesome. Instead of turning me into the life of the party, drink turned me into a lonely alcoholic.
tl;dr, don't rely on alcohol to solve your problems. Find your own way to be social, or you might regret it.
I love Suzumiya Haruhi.
>>10 you should get yourself treated, as it indeed looks like you suffer from alcoholism. Unfortunately that's a hard one to get rid of, so please look for professional medical help. Just a few months ago I went to the funeral of a guy whose life was exactly as what you described.
>>5 you seem to suffer from low self-esteem, and that's your real problem, not that you are in love with 2-D characters. Why did you chose to study philosophy? If you search your memories, what kind of stuff, people were interesting/important to you?
It looks like you are suffering from a bout of depression that makes you see everything in darks and grays.
>13 you seem to suffer from low self-esteem, and that's your real problem, not that you are in love with 2-D characters. Why did you chose to study philosophy? If you search your memories, what kind of stuff, people were interesting/important to you?
Low self-esteem? Well, maybe. The kind of stuff I was interested was pretty much books and other 2D stuff. I'm not used to being around people (did I already say that?) So now that I am, it feels like all my book knowledge is fake compared to all the people with first-hand experience. I can't really brag about being to France or being a cowhand or anything like that, so it almost feels like I have nothing to offer people.
I think that's one of the reasons I chose philosophy; I can be as familiar with a concept as anybody can.
As for alcohol and stuff like that; I guess I'm too much of a goody two-shoes so that I would never consider it. I honestly don't like partying that much to begin with.
>>14 as for bragging rights, you life is in front of you, not behind you. If you want to brag about visiting France, then organize a trip to France. Actually, what would you like to be able to brag about? Being a cowhand? Think about it, and let us know.
In regard to your fake book knowledge, confront it with people who seem to you the MOST knowledgeable. It may seem intimidating at first, but that's how you improve it. Really take what you consider to be your fake knowledge, and confront it with the people that actually seem to know the most about it. A good point about the university is that usually there are plenty of people around you who can do that service to you. You say many people around you are more knowledgeable than you: great, you won't lack opportunities.
Try to be a bit more positive: you went to university to learn, not yet to teach. So it's normal that you feel like a newbie, don't you think? Relax, don't be so self-conscious, and enjoy your learning, which does not involve only reading books and writing essays, but more importantly requires having conversations and taking part in actions with the people that surround you.
>>15
I wouldn't say I wanted bragging rights. I just think I have nothing interesting to offer people. I don't think I even have anything normal to offer people, really. I recently witnessed a normal girl conversation about shaving and 'landing strips', something I can vaguely imagine, but don't understand and refuse to look up. I had nothing to offer. The only reason I wasn't bored is because I didn't try to think of the conversation as something to enter. I saw as human behavior to be observed and wondered over: the female Homo Sapien in her natural habitat.
I suppose that sort of distance is part of why I consider myself a 2D-con. I don't really know how to get involved with people and end up studying them most of the time. I don't know how to connect with people, and am about to give up on that.
>15 people who seem to you the MOST knowledgeable
You mean teachers? It's funny; although I think most people and most conversations are boring, I find teachers immensely interesting. Definately more interesting than all the students. I'm probably the kind of girl who'd lose her virginity to a teacher, if only I wasn't clueless about how to seduce people and afraid of breaking taboos.
In case you mean people who are not teachers, then I guess I would take some effort on my part to find someone like that and to convince myself that they want to put up with all my questions.
>15 Relax, don't be so self-conscious, and enjoy your learning, which does not involve only reading books and writing essays, but more importantly requires having conversations and taking part in actions with the people that surround you.
Thanks, I am (was?) trying.
>11 I love Suzumiya Haruhi.
I can't stand tsundere girls. As for me, it is Nagato Yuki. Artificial humans and aliens all the way.
>>16 You know, even a stone or mud have something to offer to mankind, so don't worry, you have plenty more in store for people. But you are obviously under a low-esteem streak, so lowering your assets is your favorite defense mechanism at the moment: nothing to lose, nothing to worry about, isn't it? ^_^
If teachers are what you dig in, then go all the way for it. Which does not mean you need to sleep with them. Human interactions have more levels than avoidance/sex. Try to develop interesting exchanges with your teachers, about matters that you care about. I find it encouraging that you find teachers interesting. In time you'll realize that it's not only teachers who are interesting. Among students many have long and deep experiences that you can tap into. Just learn to identify those people, you can do it as a kind of personal game, it can be quite entertaining, and provide you with plenty of material to work with. You say you are bored by normal conversations, which is common. But don't worry, when you are faced with an interesting person, you'll feel motivated to pick up the smallest bit of conversation in order to continue the interaction. Motivation about the person is key.
You seem to be looking for a submissive/disciple girl - dominating/senior guy kind of relationship, which is typical of young women fraught with insecurities. That's fine, you'll enjoy more even relationships as you mature and gain experience. In the mean time just take care to hook up with a benevolent mature senior, and not with an aggressive self-centered brat (both look dominating at the beginning, but end up with radically opposite outcomes in terms of personal development of the submissive person).
Just to add a stone to the thread: did you ever think about the fact that "2D" fictional characters are created by "real" people, and that often in some way, these characters are extensions of these real people's personality?
> You seem to be looking for a submissive/disciple girl - dominating/senior guy kind of relationship
I think you hit the nail on the head. Still, I thought that was rather taboo.
And lol, a book I skimmed about quarter-life crisis mentioned that kind of relationship between a college student and a middle-age man, each with age-related crises.
>>18
Yeah, that does occur to me. I think that's one of the strange things about my calling myself a 2D-con. I know that there's people behind all the books and anime and music and escapism stuff that I'm into. I would venture to say that I love those people for creating those things, but I'm not sure if that counts as love. (Isn't it terribly one-way?)
Still, things like that usually get the job done: cheer me up when lonely, show that I'm not alone, etc. It's just that they distract me from the reality in front of me and I think that's not healthy.
When I talk to people, it usually sounds like they've giving canned responses. Books and music (and 4ch) are some of the few things that get through to me. But thanks, I'll take your advice and try to find interesting people to relate to.
>I would venture to say that I love those people for creating those things, but I'm not sure if that counts as love.
Love, probably not, but it shows a connection. Trust me, people who do this are often alone in some kind of way too. And people relating heavily to their work is amongst the most personal feeling one can have.
Maybe you should try and meet creative people, and artists. I don't mean stuck-up artsy artists or wannabe DeviantArt mangaka.
You could also try to talk to people for example in a museum; this can seem hard at first but I've found that it's rather easy to strike up a conversation with someone contemplating the same piece of art as you.