I thought it would be a good idea to make a sort of group journal here, of our plans, our days, our lives, whatever. Why?
Because I think a lot of people here could use it, including myself. There are many here with lots of insight, and obviously many who come here who have problems, so I thought we could post some things about our lives (that is, our successes, and our failures, thoughts, and so on) and receive insight and support from each other, and also because, as a very wise man once said "You never know what you're really thinking until you write it down". (hope this is as good an idea as it sounds in my head lol)
So, I'll start off here, hopefully I can give you a better idea of what I'm thinking of.
Today I looked in the mirror and saw that I had really improved my body, and my style, and I really liked the way I looked. I've been working out for the past several months (sans most of the holiday vacation, plus a little time off for a minor surgery) so I'm glad to see it's paid off.
I also realized I promised to give my mom a christmas present (that is, to re-do a part of her house) but I keep forgetting to do it! AGH! Although in my defense, I had a surgery just before the holidays, so I was doped up and laid up for a while up to and afterward.
And I've wanted to sell my old ps2 and all my games for the last month or two but ffs I keep getting distracted. orz
In 10 days, I'm moving away from my family for good. I haven't even accepted that I don't live in my home of 12 years anymore and that I won't see my father every Friday....it's really an odd feeling. It's surreal. I've planned to move to WA since I was 12, and now it's going to happen in 10 days. It's one of those things that you plan on doing but it's really far off and it's sorta a dream so you kinda think it won't happen...but it's happening. I'm really excited when I think about it..but deep down, I'm really, really scared. I've cried myself to sleep a few nights thinking about it. Thinking about how I won't be able to run to my sister's room when I find a funny youtube video, or how I won't hear my mom's weird laugh from another room, or I won't hear my dog's collar jingling as she comes downstairs to wake me up. I know I'll be living with my best friend and it's going to be awesome, but I feel kind of hopeless about the other stuff. Oh well. Everyone leaves home at some point...and I'm going to have a lot of fun. N is my sister and she'll take care of my like she always has. I know I will be fine. This is what I always dreamed of. I feel really good about it.
>>101
I'm glad to hear you're moving out. I hope it will go fine.
>>101
Hey dude, I felt exactly the same thing when I decided to move overseas after spending all of my life in the same house, same town, same school, same group of friends, with same faces every morning, same music on the radio, same voices on the TV. It was a really weird sensation to cut off completely from the daily routine of my life. Spending the first months away was hard. Coming to terms of my own existence away from everything that I knew was complicated and saddening. But I put in the effort to do my best on my own, work hard and try to get to know people. I am now as happy as I've never been, going to college, working part time, going to parties often and meeting a lot of new and great people. I'm so glad I decided to move.
But yes, it will be a bit tough to adjust to your new life.
Keep at it, don't surrender.
In my case, I spent the majority of my day resting after a 48 hour journey from watching world cup matches, helping my Yankee cousin to move out, catching up with some good old friends in a bar, to going to a DJ Competition to support a DJ friend of mine (and it was awesome). It was so hard to walk after that complete ordeal. INCREDIBLE!!
Since this doesn't really deserve it's own thread, I'm posting this here, in order of hoping to achieve great succes..
I'm a soon to be former-NEET. I'm sort of being forces to get back into college for some sort of whatever degree, and that's fine, it'll be for the best, I guess...
Right now, I'm trying to get myself into the mood of doing things when I set my mind to it. I'll be getting assignments and whatever that'll have some sort of due date. It's been 6 years since I've dropped out of college, and it's more than 6 years since I've actually finished some sort of assignment.
Back to the now, I'm trying to get myself to start, keep working on, and complete my goals. Simple things, little projects. So far it's been a dissaster. I started on a single, extremly simple task, and I haven't finished it. It's been about 3 months into "trying". wat do, 4-ch? They're all things related to my interest, and I don't dislike doing them, I just can't start, or finish anything. I just want to sleep and fap and browse...
Hey, don't push yourself. You'll get to your goals when you're ready. You can't accomplish anything if you're not mentally set to take them on. There will come a time when you're sick of what you're doing, and you'll feel invigorated when given the opportunity to improve yourself. Keep your eyes open and don't sweat it, we all fall into funks.
My class is fucking killing me. I took a break this year from school after some unfortunate events caused me to really fuck up in school I stopped taking my meds, which was possibly the most taxing experience ever, and I was only able to get though like one class. I decided to take a class during the summer to put myself back on track, but man, I suck. I got an 87 on our first project, but I have a feeling that I got like a 60 or 50 on our second one, even though I busted every fiber of my being trying to do it. I'm losing the faith, and losing endurance. And our teacher wants a floor plan and a section, penciled and inked by MONDAY.
I want to kill myself. :(
Wow, you're really trying to get back into some semblance of normalcy. If you worked all you could on that project, it makes no sense to start thinking you did badly on it. If you did your best, that's all you could do. That's honorable enough, even if you couldn't get to where you really wanted to be. Getting back into things takes time, even if you're trying to go about changing in full force. Don't be concerned. You have to ease yourself into change, and you can't be too hard on yourself.
Things haven't been easy for you at all, but the greatest thing you can do for yourself is believe in your ability to recover. Take it slow. If you're still hit by setback after setback, don't sweat it. It's not your time, but in the future you'll be hit with a great success if you stick to it now.
As for your recent assignment, I'd just say to buckle down and try to get it done. The motivation isn't there, but you'll feel a lot better about yourself if you can get it done. At least do a bit of it. If you fail, you can try again. There are always opportunities. You'll always have an opportunity to live better, so you've got to get through these rough spots. Focus on getting the project done. It doesn't matter if you do it half-halfheartedly or grudgingly, or even if you're putting all you have into it. Just get it done.
Hang in there! We all doubt whether it's good to be here. Sometimes it feels like it would be better to have a permanent ticket out. But that would be such a waste. You have so much human potential in you and it would be a waste to die with all that you can do never being born. Try to see yourself through this tough time. I'm positive things will be looking up for you soon.
>>107
Wow are you god or something? Thank you so much. I'll get it done.
All right, great! Just remember to take small breaks, and don't overwhelm yourself. Good luck!
I guess I'll jump onto the bandwagon.
I regularly keep in touch with my parents in Los Angeles. And when I recently caught a case of the dry cough from a coworker, they decided to drive halfway across the state to my apartment. I share the space with three other roommates who, in addition to moving out for the summer, left behind food in their rooms and the refrigerator.
My parents arrived in the middle of the war I waged against the flies. Noticing me discarding rotten food from the refrigerator, they decided to help me clean the apartment. We scoured the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, and vacuumed the entire place. Not content with stopping there, we then went shopping for groceries to keep me stocked for the summer. We even bought a new trash can to replace our old, slightly broken one.
But that wasn't all. To help me recover from my cough, they cooked meals for me. They prepared soup to remedy my coughing. They changed my bedsheets. And before they set out for home yesterday, they left notes for me about where to find my dinner, which foods to eat, and so on. I am so grateful for my parents. So. Fucking. Grateful.
Anyhow, this morning I ate one of the muffins they bought and headed to work. But when I returned, there were flies in the muffins. I immediately made a phone call to my mom, who scolded me and advised me to wrap my food next time. And for the first time in awhile, I cried. I felt especially bad because my parents took the time to drive halfway across the state for me.
It's silly, I know. As a senior college student, I reasoned that instead of crying over spoiled muffins, I should do something about the flies. Yet when my mom continued to ask me how I was, I couldn't help but feel the tears coming out. It was lame and dumb, but deep inside I knew that I wanted to cry. But strangely enough, I didn't know why.
That's when my mom told me that I was crying because I subconsciously needed to. And for some reason, I thought of the main character in Black Rock Shooter: Mato. She was able to get along with her new friends in school and do fun things together like shopping or going to each other's houses. Then I realized that in my childhood, I never had a core group of friends like Mato. Sure, I could get along fine with everyone else, but ultimately I was left to my own devices. I was lonely. I was crying because I was lonely.
However, I already understand that if I don't want to be lonely, then I should make an effort to find friends or strengthen the relationships I already have. But this is one of those times where I feel insecure and I just want to rant without worrying about what to do. I'm not pleading for help or asking for advice; on the contrary, this is my catharsis. I ask for nothing more than your sympathy.
Oh lol. You sound like me. Is black rock shooter any good? Anyways, your parents are really great people, man. And you sound like a good person yourself.
College, for some people, is a lonely experience that they don't notice until they actually get attention. It's good that your parents were there for you, because now you want the same attention for yourself. I was friendless for a while when I transferred to my new school, but I went out to things I enjoyed. I love fighting games, I love animu, I like to work out, I like to draw, and I like to eat. So I joined clubs and did things that had stuff like that in it. Sure enough, I found friends that have become much more than that. One of my good friends is 30 years old and a HUGE American comics fan who creates his own art. He always feeds me and the rest of his crew even though he doesn't have to. He's kind, friendly, and tolerant. His girlfriend is the same. His friends are older than I am, and all jokers but I get along with them. My roommates are nerds like I am and they are probably going to be my friends for life. We all went though hard times, and we all got mad at each other, and I put them though a lot of shit this year. But they are my friends. I don't have a girlfriend or anything, i'm just a nerdy black kid with strange interests that people would normally side-cast. But these people didn't. All because I wanted to see what I could find, and I didn't give up. It's hard at first; you feel like the odd one out, awkward socially, etc. It gets better. And you start really caring about your own life.
>>111
Black Rock Shooter's plot is lacking, but it's got amazing fight scenes. It's like they throw a fight scene at you, then some school stuff, then more fighting, then more school stuff, and then more fighting. And even at the end, there aren't enough cues to give you a solid connection between real life and the world of Black Rock Shooter.
In summary, cute and confusing.
But yeah, I'm glad you're comfortable with your life. Even though you've been at odds with your roommates, you seem to have it good. You do your own thing, then you find other people who do the same stuff. If you can't, then you keep your head high and keep trying. Pretty resilient, you are. I admire you for that. Thanks.
the fighting scenes take part AFTER the school stuff, but I guess this isn't the right board to discuss anime
Fall semester begins in exactly 2 weeks at my university and I could not be any more apprehensive. This is my 2nd year there and I'm still considered a freshman rather than a sophomore due to screwing around too much last year. I failed a fair share of my courses, my GPA is a abysmal, and I have no idea what I want to do at college. I'm surprised they haven't booted me out yet.
I feel like I'm there because that's how I was raised and taught. You go through elementary school, middle school, high school, college, get your degree, get your job, get your family, get old. But is school for me? Throughout high school I had a series of fuck ups but I still haven't learned my lesson in college.
I just have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with my life. I have no goals, no ambitions. I laze around all day, playing video games, goofing off on the internet, or hanging out with the few friends that I actually have. I've never had a job and I'm too petrified to put my foot forward to obtain one. I'm turning 20 this year but I still feel like I haven't matured.
I need to get my shit together but I just don't know where to being.
Whoa i was in the same situation kinda. I fucked up hard and got booted out of school in my first year. Went to work manual labour for a year. Working with men in their 30's and 40's put my life into perspective. Could i really become like them and just work to raise a family or did i want something more? I guess i decided to go back to school with a new ambition and so far everything is working out.
Try stepping out there and see whats for you... maybe it was never meant to be school. Or maybe all you needed with a kick in the groin to wake up and see how important schooling is 2 you.
Yeah dude, nothing new here. What I suggest is that you try and take a smaller load, if you can, and get a part-time job, if you feel like you lack ambition. It could be that school is far too much of your focus, and you may need to balance that out with something else. Take myers briggs to get a bit of insight into what personality type you are. Answer honestly, and live life well.
The problem with school is that we have people naturally inclined for logic and reasoning running schools that have a melting pot of different students with different personalities that aren't suited for rigorous academia or corporate America. Yes, you make money, and yes, you gain prestige, but do you gain talent? Individuality? Love?
Sometimes life and living is more vital than "following the crowd." I'm not saying to stop school. We need something that questions our way of life to keep balance. But you need to slow down, and find out what fits you best. See if loans will allow you to take a lesser load, and take it. Meanwhile, work to support yourself.
Got fired and am now currently squatting at a friend's place. Stop.
Looking for job but no luck; will try harder.
Full stop.
>>117
That sucks, bro.
Just take it easy and you'll eventually find a decent job.
bump