( ´ω`) hello kids!

( ´ω`) Aaah, it's not important. ZZZZZzZzzzzzzZzz....

( ´ω`) ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz......

( oωo)ITS

(・∀・)

(・∀・)

(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）)

( ´ω`) Hmm...idea!

( ´ω`) ﾉ@　　　 　(・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!
( ´ω`) ﾉ@　　　 　(・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!

( ´ω`) AHahahaha COUGH COUGH Ahahaha COUGH...ah, that's the shit.

( ´ω`)y━･~~ I need a smoke.

(・∀・)

(・∀・) Grandpa, s'like,,, wow, man. Y'know? Just... woah.... Think about it, man.

( ´ω`) It's over already?

(・∀・)

( ´ω`) Oh, his idiocy was just seeping through.

(・∀・） Don't die on us now, Gramps!

(・∀・) What are your wishes for the new year, Gramps?

(・∀・)

(・∀・)

(・Д・)

( ´ω`) 1. A harem consisting of all the hot babes in anime, hentai, video games, etc.
2. Die by suffocation of several pairs of boobs squished against my head. Then come back to life, then die again.
3. No Grandpa 3.0. I'm too old for this shit.
4. For you to shut up. How'd you even break out of that spell?

( ・ω・) Doesn't it only last for 10 seconds?

( ・ω・) Although the length of 10 seconds when time has stopped is debatable.

( ´ω`)

（　ܶωܶ）

( ・ω・) According to my calculations, if September had ended on time, it would currently be the year 2006 in some areas! Isn't that interesting?

(・Д・) What the fuck are you smoking?

( ´ω`) The Boss was working for the US all along, eh?

( ´ω`) Oh, sorry Junior, didn't mean to spoil the ending to MGS3 or nothing. Since I'm playing Solid Snake in MGS4 I figured I'd go over the whole storyline again.

(・Д・) I was playing that and everything!

( ´ω`) I also saved over your game.

(・Д・) What the f

( ´ω`) THE WORLD!

(・Д・)

( ´ω`) Ah, much better.

(・∀・） niggaplease, STARPLATINUKK!!

( ゜ω゜) W-What?!

(・∀・）Grandpa, what's your opinion on Genghis Kahn, ruler and founder of the Mongol Empire?

( ´ω`) He was here just now. You must have missed him.

(・∀・） Yes, but what do you think of him?

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・） WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HIM!!??

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE PUTTING YOU IN AN ABUSIVE NURSING HOME.

(;;`Д´) #*%$!!!!!!!

(・∀・）Don't have a cow, man.

( ´ω`) Abusive nursing home? Well, now that you mention it, I am up for a little BDSM!

(・∀・）Oh Grandpa, what will you ever do next? Hahahaha.

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE TAKING AWAY YOUR PILLS SO WE CAN GET A NEW DVD PLAYER.

( ´ω`) A new record player?

(・∀・）What the fudge is a record player? MOMMMM HE'S TALKING NONSENSE AGAIN.

J( 'ｰ`)し WOULD YOU SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO WATCH DR. PHIL.

(・∀・）Old fuckin' geezer. You should just kick the bucket already.

(・∀・）Back to my fuckin' music...

(;∀; ）CRAWWWLLIINNG IINNNN MY SKINNNN, THESE WOUUNNDDSS THEYY WILLLL NOT HEALLLL

( ´ω`) You want real emo? Listen to some of my old country records.

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, and you really wanna show it, slit your wrist♪

( ´ω`)♪♪♪♪
(・∀・）-? WHAT
( ´ω`) ...
( ´ω`) ITS

( （●）ﾄｪ( ´ω`) !!!!!

(・∀・） Grandpa, have you ever gotten 888?

( ´ω`) I've been known to GET, now and then.

(・∀・）Grandpa, do you think that animes generally have good endings?

(・∀・）Personally, I think they're always horrid pieces of shit! Why can't the japanese make decent endings?!

　　 人
　　　　　　　　 （＿）
　　　　　　　　（＿＿）
　　　　　　 　（　・∀・） 　Jelous? Huh, Grandpa?
　　　　　　 __〃｀ヽ 〈＿ It's only a matter of time until..
　　　γ´⌒´-−ヾｖーヽ⌒ヽ
　　／⌒　 ｨ 　　　｀ｉ´　　）; ｀ヽ
　 /　　 　ﾉ＾ ､＿__￥＿_人　　|
　 !　　,,,ノ爻＼_　_人　ﾉｒ;＾ >　 ）
　（　　 <_ ＼ﾍ､,, ,+､ｒﾉ/　　/
　　ヽ_　　＼ ）ゝ､__,+､_ｱ〃 ／
　　　 ヽ､___ ヽ.=┬─┬〈　 ｿ、
　　　　 　〈J　.〉､| う　|,　|ヽ-´
　　　　　　/"" 　| ん　|:　|
　　　　　　ﾚ　　 :| :こ　|　ﾘ
　　　　　 /　　 ﾉ|＿＿|　|
　　　　　 |　,,　 ｿ　 ヽ　　）
　　　　　.,ゝ 　 ）　　ｲ ヽ ﾉ
　　　　　ｙ　｀ﾚｌ　　 〈´　 ﾘ
　　　　 /　　 ﾉ　　　|　　 |
　　　　 ｌ　　/　　　　ｌ;;　 |
　　　　 〉　〈 　　　　 〉　 |
　　　 /　　::|　　　　（_ヽ　＼､
　　　(｡ｍｎﾉ　　　　 　 ｀ヽｎｍ

( ´ω`) Tomino and Anno really did spoil you kids.

( ´ω`) Junior, I lasted 94 hours straight in a arm wrestle with Vin Diesel and nearly won. Bastard had to do his Diesel Drive - some funky move that defined the laws of physics and put me down. But 94 hours, Junior! Bet you couldn't last half a second against that man.

（　・∀・） Man? In school we learned that Vin Diesel is a force of nature!

( ´ω`) Vin Diesel created humans in his own image. Only a select few will ever get to see his true form.

( ´ω`) whoops, tl;dr >>895. I'm old, you know.

( ´ω`) Vin Diesel is the alpha and the omega. He binds and controls all atoms within the universe and all universes beyond even my knowledge.

( ´ω`) And I damn near beat him(it?) in arm wrestling, Junior. Though I have to admit...I was using my right arm. I did quite the amount of vigorous "training" with that arm.. heh heh.

(・∀・）Vin Diesel will benchpress you through a wall!

(・∀・）Grandpa, does that mean Vin Diesel wanks more than you?

( ´ω`) I haven't wanked in 20 years!

(・∀・） I haven't wanked since WHERE IS SARAH CONNER!

( ´ω`) This thread has been targeted for termination.

(・∀・）Solid Snake simulation? Eye stimulation! I don't have any relation.

(・∀・）Oh, a question. Do you think the person who made the original Grandpa thread is still around, posting in this topic? Or do you think that DQN monster (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) did him in?

( ´ω`) I expect he died when the funny did.

( ´ω`) I want to rest now sonny.

(・Д・) The world is coming to an end......

(´Д`) Reminiscing about old times.. Strawberry fields forever..

(・∀・）Grandpa... I suddenly felt so old. It was kinda scary but I knew you would save me if anything would happen. Why?

(・Д・) Because I'd beat the shit out of you if you didn't!

(・∀・）.... Grandpa?

. . .

( ´ω`) What the hell do you WANT?!

(・∀・）Inheritance money!

( ´ω`) Sorry Junior, there's no money left. I spent it all on hookers and champagne the last time I visited Vegas.

(・∀・）That's it! We're selling your organs on the black market when you die. Doc' said they seem fine.

( ´ω`) These old organs? That were beaten down over the ages I've lived? They wouldn't be worth more then a visit to that one ramen place..the one thats not really related to this thread.

(・∀・） Yeah, this thread is about beef bowls.

(・∀・）Wait, Yoshinoya?!

（ ´_⊃｀） I bet you like Hard Gay Ramen. HOO!

(・Д・) E-eeeeeeeeh?!

(・∀・）Grandpa! What is "Hard Gay"?

( ´ω`) Type it in Google Image Search and find out!

(・∀・）Grandpa! What is "Google Image Search"?

( ´ω`)
　　⊂彡☆))Д´)　>>918

( ´ω`) Don't be a smartass.

(・∀・）Grandpa, what can be done to make Grandpa 3.0 funny and good again?

( ・ω・) Less established characters.

(・∀・）Guess that means you need to die, Clonepa! And Grandma, Fiance (though shes already gone), my dad, Jbot, and Grandpa's first girlfriend.

(・∀・）Darkpa and DQN can stay, so long as they don't say much. After all, this is all about Grandpa and me asking questions!

（ ｀ハ´） Sorry, Junior, but your wonderful story in >>699-772 has inspired me to fight for the side of good. I must leave you now, and go on my own crusade...

(・∀・)b PARTY HARD DARKPA!!!

(・∀・）Wait, a crusade? Are you going to make a Darkpa thread then?

( ´ω`) Quit plotting my death. There's nothing in the will to begin with.

(・∀・） Don't lie to me, Grandpa! You told me one time when I was little that you found some buried pirate treasure once!

( ´ω`) But I didn't say you could have it.

( ´ω`) Plus how do you think i'm paying for all that hookers and beer?

( °3°) GAAAABOOORRRAAAA

(・∀・）Grandpa, a tamagotchi has invaded our thread! What should we do?!
a. Feed him
b. Slap him
c. Wash his poop
d. Nothing
e. ( ´ω( °3°) YOWCH!~

( ´ω`) a.

(・∀・） Sorry Grandpa, the answer we were looking for is 'E'.

( °3°) I demand an apology for this crap!
( ´ω( °3°) YOWCH!~
( ´ω`)y~~

( ´ω`) Okay, let's do a now.

(・∀・）Grandpa, what's the way of the samurai?

( ´ω`) Death before dishonor.

( ´ω`) Fine idea, actually, since we have dishonored our thread by no longer being funny. Be my second and then kill yourself, will you?

(・∀・）I have a much better idea. Let's start copying questions from V1!

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?

( ´ω`) We used to read books! You do kn-..

( ´ω`) This is the most commonly asked question from you, Junior. Ask a different one.

　　　　　　_∧ ∧＿＿
　　　　 ／( ´ω`)　 ／＼
　 　 ／|￣ Ｕ Ｕ￣|＼／ I also have to tell you something, Junior. I get most of my answers from Wikipedia.
　 　 　 |　　Hii　 .|／
　 　 　　￣￣￣￣

(・∀・) AHA! Well, that make sense - Wikipedia is pretty cool. I sent them $20 yesterday!