( LƒÖ`) Well, we'll need this thread eventually.
(EÍE) What was life like before pubic edumaction?
( LƒÖ`) Nobody shaved.
¼“ñ“ñ“ñi $Oo-ƒÖ-oO$j“ñ“ñ“ñ½ GRANDPA
¼“ñ“ñ“ñi $Oo-ƒÖ-oO$j“ñ“ñ“ñ½ WHAT WAS LIFE LIKE BEFORE YOU?
( LƒÖ`) Don't shout.
(EÍE) Give me candy! Give me Candy!
@ÈQÈ@@@ ÈQÈ
@(E(¼¼ß(LƒÖ`@) @@Here's a fistful of crunchy candy. bapbapbap
(‚Á ¼¼ß@@¼)
@/@@@)@@@@( @@ _
@( /P¾ @@@¾P_j
(EƒÖE) ...Ow.
(EƒÖE) I am Clonepanior, and I come from the futior.
( LƒÖ`) No you don't, you were cloned from me some decades back.
(EƒÖE) They've been lyingOHGOD GIBBELSIG
(EÍE) I can see the fjords!
( LƒÖ`) I once had a dog...
(EƒÖE) ...
( LƒÖ`) ...
(EƒÖE) ...and?
( LƒÖ`) zzzzZZZZZZ
(EƒÖE)
( EƒÖE)
(EƒÖE )
(-ƒÖ-) zzz...
¼“ñ“ñ“ñ(EÍE)“ñ“ñ“ñ½ GRANDPA! WAKE UP!
( LƒÖ`) Ugghh...why does my head hurt?
(EÍE) There's nothing left, Grandpa. This whole world is lurching and heaving, slowly but inevitably, towards its' end.
(EƒÖE) Sorry, but I was just so hungry...
(EÍE) Grandpa, where do babies come from?
( LƒÖ`) They grow inside women, Junior. After 9 months or so, the woman squeezes the baby out, just like popping a huge zit.
( ß-ß) Grandpa, what did Grandma have to die?
( LƒÖ`) She had to dye the eggs.
( LƒÖ`) Mittens, you meant "why."
(LÍ`) I'm Grandnior, and I come from the futior.
( LƒÖ`) Your face is all squished up, too.
(LÍ`) Would you like some free CIALIS?
( LƒÖ`) I have enough.
( LƒÖ`) fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap (damn can't get it up)
( LƒÖ`) Fine, I'll take some.
(LÍ`) That's too bad! In the future, all the CIALIS has run out!
( LƒÖ`) CIALIS! CIALIS! It's awwwright!
(LÍ`) But we do have V14GR4.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before spam?
( LƒÖ`)Before spam, we had no name brand luncheon meats.
(EÍE) Grandpa, mother said you are a pedophile and I should stop visiting you. What does pedophile mean?
( LƒÖ`) Children's doctor. Let me examine you.
(EÍE) What did you do in the war, Grandpa?
(LÍ`) I'm still fighting the war of 3024.
( LƒÖ`) I killed people and broke things, mostly.
( Ü-Ü) That wasn't very kind of you, Grandpa.
( LƒÖ`) They were all bad people and bad things.
( LƒÖ`) That was pretty weak, fathead-san. You're usually much more annoying.
( Ü-Ü) I know. Ever since Beady-Eyes derailed my thread, my game's been off.
(EÍE) Grandpa, I'm going to lead a rebel group to overthrow you and this thread!
10 minutes later
Junior: We're all going to join up to kill you once and for all! Prepare yourself, Grandpa!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@(EÍE)
@@@@@@@@( ß ƒŽß)@@@@(@MƒnL)@@@@( E-E)
<RMÍL>( ‹3‹) S(◕ฺƒÃ◕ฺM¡) (☄◢„t◣)☄ ( Ü-Ü) i *ß';;‚—ß'j ( ßÍß) ( L_½M) (MƒÊL)
|EQE|( =0=) ( LE__E) i@LÍMji*ß[ßjiBE_Ej ( ' =_=) J( '°`)‚µ ((/ ƒf.ㄟ) i@OÍOj
( ¥_¥) Ð*ß°ß) (L^ิƒÖOิ) ()(L) ( E[E) ( M°L) (@¥ิm¥ิ) <˜¤MƒnL> i ÒƒÖÒj i èƒÖèj (
„DL)
( EƒÖÒ) No one's killin or overthrowin' no one, kid.
( ß mß) I'm not really into that whole overthrowing thing.
( LƒÖ`) What are you shitheads doing in my thread? Get out.
(EÍE) It's my thread too. I get to ask questions.
Feel my zombie touch, MercPa!
(☄◢„t◣)☄ i ÒƒÖÒj
i ÒƒÖÒj‚Â I'm Scarpa, Mercpa's over that way.
i ÒƒÖÒj At least, I think he is.
( ßÍß) YOU MEAN ME?
( ßÍß) YOU MEAN ME?
( ßÍß) YOU MEAN ME?
( ßÍß) YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU
( ßÍß) YYYYYY
Fatal error
( M°L) It's okay to carry out and be w
(Gß„Dß) This entire thread is DQN.
(œwœ)It carries out and is DQN
(Gß„Dß) You will do no such thing!
Ð*ß°ß) Why not?
( ß„Dß) Well... theres no money in it.
Ð*ß°ß) ... oh okay.
( LƒÖ`) I feel 800 years old...
( ß„Dß) Who are you anyways?
( LƒÖ`) I am Grandpa, the ultimate god of death...and...destruction...and stuff.
( ^ิƒÖOิ) Whuzgon'on dis tread?
( ^ิƒÖOิ) Whenduh fudk didjwe guh ice creeeeemm??
( LƒÖ`) I never thought having your own thread can be hazardous to your health...
(EÍE) Grandpa, what's wrong with Virginia Tech?
( LƒÖ`) zzz
( ß„Dß) WAKE UP GRANDPA
( ß„Dß) YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE...
( ß„Dß) That was done already?
(EÍE) Grandpa, do they have guns at UT in Austin?
(EÍE) ...what would you shoot, from the clock tower?
( LƒÖ`) You.
( (((EÍE))) ) ...!
(EÍE) Grandpa, do you write poetry?
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was your major?
( LƒÖ`) Modern Image Board Culture.
(EÍE) Culture of MIBs?
( LƒÖ`) You will remember nothing...
(EÍE)
(-Í-) zzz
( LƒÖ`) Wake up!
(EÍE) !!
( LƒÖ`) Who am I?
( E-E) To make a long story short, you're Grandpa, you died back in the fifth Grandpa thread after a long and drawn out winding down of quality, and without their patron all of DQN has rotted and will continue to rot.
( E-E) Heaven is just through the door on the left. Have a nice afterlife.
( LƒÖ`) Whaaaaat? I never signed up for any of these new fangled compost heaps!
( EƒÖE) I signed using your name. That's O.K, right?
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
( LƒÖ`) It was great. Stupid people had much less influence on the world back then.
( LƒÖ`) Of course, it took me four days to download Commander Keen.
( LƒÖ`) Like being stuck in a box.
( E-E) YES, GRANDPA, ACT!!! Talk and pretend nothing's happened, as you exhaust the last of your DEATH-INDUCED SYNAPSE BURSTS!!!
( LƒÖ`) I'm too manly to die from something like that. I'll just grunt it off.
(EÍE) Grandpa!
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(@Í@) Grandpa, why am I dizzy?~~~
( LƒÖ`) Because you keep dancing with that shit, its bound to make anyone dizzy.
(@Í@) But all the c00l kidz are doing it!
( LƒÖ`) Cool? Back in the day cool meant you snuck into the bar underage!
(EÍE) Get naked, Grandpa.
@@ i@LƒÖ`j Come to me Junior!
@@@@@¼“ñ |@@@/“ñ½ Let's go!
@@@@ @@@ i@R“ñ“ñ“ñ½
@@@@@@@@ É>ƒm@
@@@@ @@ƒŒÚ
( E-E) Decapitated grandpas and disembodied voices.
( E-E) This thread has jumped the shark.
i@LƒÖ`jBack in my day, you actually had to go and find the shark on your own!