( ´ω`) hello kids!

(・∀・）Grandpa, what is Internet?

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　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　─（ ﾟ ∀ ﾟ ）＜　HELLOHELLOHELLO!
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￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣＼∩∧　∧　＼（ ﾟ∀ﾟ）＜　HELLOHELLOHELLO！
HELLO〜〜〜！ 　 ＞（ ﾟ∀ﾟ ）/ ｜　　　　/　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿／ ｜　　　 〈　｜　　　｜
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>>2
( ´ω`) It's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and never ever stopped.

(・∀・）Grandpa, that sounds bad...

( ´ω`) You get used to it though.

(・∀・） Grandpa, does Kareha fail at providing proper format for legendary?

( ´ω`) That's hardly the way to preserve all the wisdom my Grandpa tought me!

(・∀・） Grandpa, is that the way you used to spell "taught" in the olden days?

(;´ω`) Ah, yes.

(;´ω`) We didn't have many books back then, so we had to learn by ear.

(・∀・） CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

( ´ω`) You wouldn't be cool even if we shipped you to Antarctica in a pair of gym shorts, Junior.

　　　　　　　　　　Do you know Grandpa, one of the DQN traditional
　　　　　　　　　　threads.
　　　　　　　　　　It's old fogey. We recieve great wisdom from him.
　　∧＿＿∧ 　　　 I can't express how wise the old fogey is.
　（　・∀・）　＜　Oh, I'm a DQN.
　（つ　　 つ　　　 However most of the foreigners hate them, even though they are
　 ｜ ｜　|　　　 4-ch'ers.
　（_＿）＿）　　　 I could say it's the best thread in the world!
　　　　　　　　　　How do you think about it?

( ´ω`) Your haircut looks silly. I think you should join the army.

(・∀・） No oil for blood!

( ´ω`) God damn hippies. Stop protesting things you're ignorant about and get a real job. Contribute to society and all that.

(・Д・;） A hippy?! I don't want to be a hippy, Grandpa! I like meat too much!

(・∀・）Grandpa, we should have a 30-second skit on TV called "Stinky Grandpa's Wisdom"! I'd ask you one or two questions and you'd answer each one with great detail.

(・∀・）Of course, we should have our own small theme song, which I think should go like:

"Grandpa, Grandpa
Stinky smelly Grandpa
Knowledge and wisdom he teaches
With the young Junior he learns
Grandpa, Grandpa
til the old fart croaks,
he'll keep answering our questions!"

(・∀・）What do you think about that, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) I think you need another 12 years of schooling, kid!

(・∀・）Grandpa, my friends are bullying me at school.

( ´ω`) I presume they have good reason to do so.

(・∀・）Grandpa, you are not helping my problems.

( ´ω`) Grandpa only helps those who help themselves!

(・∀・） Grandpa, what is peak oil?

(ﾟ∀ﾟ) GRANDPA, I MET THIS KID RIGHT, AND HE GAVE ME SOME PILLS RIGHT, AND NOW I FEEL REALLY HAPPY ALL THE TIME, RIGHT, IT'S LIKE I CAN'T CLOSE MY EYES AND THE WORLD IS SPINNING AROUND ME, VERY VERY FAST. IT TICKLES

( ´ω`) I'm not deaf, you ass!

(・∀・） but grandpa, caps lock is cruise control for cool

(ﾟДﾟ）

( ´ω`) you don't look so good, junior

(ﾟДo）

(・∀・） Anyway, back to my original question, Grandpa... what i peak oil?

(xДx）

( ´ω`) I don't know, I don't care. If I remember my own name and yours until the next day, I have fulfilled my quota of memorizing arbitrary labels.

(・∀・）But grandpa! It's the most important thing in the world! It's the end!

( ´ω`) All I can say is don't use drugs unknown people give you.

( ´ω`) Only use the drugs I give you.

(・∀・) Aren't you kind of old to be a druggie? I figured you would have an illegal still or something...

( ´ω`) I am talking rum here. Rum, Whiskey and prescription-only medicine!

(・∀・) Can't get it up, eh, grandpa?

( ´ω`)_ξ

( ´ω`) つ_ξ　That's not what your mother said!

Σ(・Д・)

(Awkward silence...)

>>36
(ﾟДﾟ）signed. your wisdom is outstanding, grandpa!

( ´ω`) What's the matter, Junior? Never seen chinko before?

(・∀・) My chinko > your chinko

( ´ω`) Sonny, I go to pachinko every night. Don't tell grandmother.

(・∀・) Grandpa, how can I make the katamari BIG?

( ´ω`) Just shut up...

( ´ω`) ... and rock'n'roll!

( ´ω`) Junior, come and help me with my computer, it's driving me buttfuck crazy!

(・∀・) What seems to be the problem, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) It's just beeping and doing nothing, dogdangit!

(・∀・) Sounds serious!

( ´ω`) Installed Linux, problem solved.

(・∀・) Can you print with that?

(・∀・) Grandpa, I think I'm going to dress-up like a cowboy this year for Halloween. What did you go as when you were my age?

( ´ω`) Giko Cat

(・∀・) Damm that's old school Gramps! My friends dress up as Pedo Bear and Hikki-kun!

( ´ω`) I wanted to go as Longcat, but I was never able to get the costume right...

(・∀・) Its name is Nobiru aka Stretchcat! You should know that, Grandpa, we learned about it in Meme-history class last week!

(・∀・) Also I meant KUMA not Pedobear lolz

(・∀・) Grandpa, did you notice the original Grandpa sure was way better than this v2.0 crap? Shall we ultimately permasage this sure?

( ´ω`) What are you talking about, the last thread was crap too.

( ´ω`) The good old days are always better. And I should know.

( ´ω`) I talk a lot of shit when the nights are getting long and more people stay inside, listening to my loony rants.

(・∀・) Hey, listening to you is better than actually doing work.

( ´ω`) This is actually why women live longer than men. They cultivate talking shit, and when men are already useless for work at a certain age, them old gals still babble away and unite their tribe through nonsensical stories and assurances.

( ´ω`) The evolution of shit talking discourse.

(・∀・) Is that why you divorced Grandma? She talked too much?

( ´ω`) You also talk too much. What are you, a fag? When's the last time you had contact with the other sex?

(・∀・) Hey Grandpa! Where can I find this other sex? How do I contact it?

( ´ω`) Go ask your mom.

(・∀・) Grandpa, where do I get apology juice? Some weird-looking kid at my school won't stop bugging me until I get some for him

( ´ω`) Don't give in to bullying, Junior.

( ﾟ∀ﾟ) lol u tk him 2da bar|?

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　 ｡+゜:ﾟーﾟ:・｡:+゜　　　　=　 　 (　┐ノ 　　　　　　　　゜+:｡゜・:゜+:゜｡
.:::+｡゜・:+::　　　　　　　　:。; ／　　 　 　　　　　　　　 ::+:・゜｡+:::.
⌒::;;⌒⌒⌒;;::⌒⌒.::　:⌒;;⌒::.;;.⌒⌒/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣./ 　 /::. :; ;⌒⌒:.:⌒:;⌒;;⌒⌒:.:⌒:;⌒;
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(・∀・) Did you see grandpa? I finished Doom3!!

( ´ω`) But were you ready for it?

(・∀・) Grandpa, tell me a story about the Mysterious Cities of Gold!

( ´ω`) They were built by much slave labor...

(・∀・) I hear they have a Fountain of Youth, too. Maybe you should go look for it Grandpa!

( ´ω`) You can go sonny. I don't feel like moving right now.

(・∀・) I already am young, so (ry

( ´ω`) for how long.... sonny...

(・∀・) For as long as people copypaste me!

(・∀・) Grandpa! I'm going to start smoking! My friends say it's cool.

( ´ω`)y━･~~ It is

(・∀・)y━･

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　▐░::　　　　　 　　　　　　　▂ 　 　 　▂ 　 　　　　　　　　　 　:::░▍　　　S　M　O　K　E　!!　
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(・∀・)y━･ Grandpa! I though smoked a pipe or something.

( ´ω`)y━･~~ Camels are just as good sonny.

(.X・)y━･`,. koff koff

(・Д・)y━･ Grandpa, I think I'm getting cancer now.

( ´ω`)y━･~~ The secret of life, by Oliver Reed: Don't drink.
Don't smoke. Don't eat meat. Die anyway.

(・Д・) So, how did you get to be so old, anyway? What's the secret?

( ´ω`) Prozac sonny.. prozac.

(・∀・) Oh, you take it too?

( ´ω`) I'm trying to get off Lithium that's why.

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you want to get 100?