( LΦ`) hello kids!
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
( LΦ`) well, junior, there were these creatures that we used to call "girls"
( LΦ`) they're all extinct now
i(EΝE)΅
i(EΝE)΅ You too, gramps!
i( LΦ`)΅ ...
(EΝE) Grandpa, we're reading "The Outsiders" in school and how teeangers were in, like, the olden days. Were you a preppy Soc, or one of the cool Greaser kids?
J( '°`)΅@Hey boys, have you seen...
J( '`)΅@
i( LΦ`)΅ ...
i(EΝE)΅ Grandpa, I'm hard!
i( LΦ`)΅ Hard gay?
. welcome.
.
.( LΦ`) I am Ballos.
( *Φ`) Ages upon ages ago, in fear of enduring punishment, I allowed my funny to run wild.
( *Φ`) The funny became such that even its master's hands could not control it.
i(EΝE)΅ That's great, Grandpa, now help me pick out a dress. Do I need a bra?
( *Φ`) If you wanna hold up those saggy tits of yours into some kind of presentable package, I'd fucking recommend it! You better believe it!
i(EΝE)΅ Grandpa, what happened to your eye? It went from L to *!
i(EΝE)΅ Hey Mom! Does this dress look good on me?
J( '`)΅ ......
( *Φ`) Go play Cave Story.
i(EΝE)΅ That game's kind of hard, though...
i(EΝE)΅ Grandpa, I came into my smooth, soft, silky dress! What should I do now?
( *Φ`) You put the dress in the washer, or you get the hose again!
i(EΝE)΅ But washing machines are dangerous! I read about one guy who felt into one and got killed.
( *Φ`) That's because no real man does laundry and nature was weeding out inferior males.
( *Φ`) I really need to do something about this sty in my eye.
i(*ΝE)΅ Is it contagious? Oh wai...
( Φ) ...Damn kid.
i(EΝE)΅ Grandpa, it's high time you see an eye doctor, ya know! Your condition is getting worse by the hour!
( Φ) Dagnabbit, Junior, don't you dare try and tell me what to do!
( Φ) Now show me where you are so I can bitchslap you.
i(EΝE)΅ Here, I'm here by the cupboard! Hey I just found your stash of Playboy from 1960-1970... Vintage! Will I get a good buck if I sell those on eBay?
( Φ) If you actually looked it up, maybe you'd know.
i(EΝE)΅ Oh! Why didn't think of that?
i(EΝE)΅ ...
i(EΝE)΅ Currently fetching $.17 per vintage issue in mint condition? Only??
i(EΝE)΅ Grandpa, I thought that sex was selling?
( Φ) Well, I did have my way with the issue if you'd check the centerfold..So I'd say $.5 at the most.
i(EΝE)΅ I wanted to check the centerfold, but for some reason the pages are stuck together... Why is that, Grandpa?
( Φ) Because I touch myself at night
i(EΝE)΅ Touch yourself? Like..where?
( Φ) I'd show you, but I'm not really sure myself right now.
i(EΝE)΅ Grandpa, they say that if you touch yourself too much you'll go blind, is that true?
( +Φ+) In your case, I will go blind.
@ _ @Ώ
(@ίΝί)c@Grandpa old fart!@Grandpa old fart!
@Όc
^@ ίDί _ Shhh.
( ()Φ()) Hey Junior, DQN let me borrow his eyes. Man, I can see everything with this.
°( ίDί)
( ()Φ()) I can see past, present, and future. I can see multiple areas at once. I can see everything.
°( ίDί)
( ()Φ()) Even your soul.
°( ίDί;)
( ()Φ()) Especially your soul.
°( ίDί;;) Aiee!
(EΝE) Wait... My soul? I guess I don't k now if I have one.
(EΝE) Okay, let's do a simple test before I believe you, Grandpa: what are the winning numbers for the upcoming Lotto? When and where?
( ()Φ()) You're composed of pixels on a computer screen, Junior. Pixels don't have souls. Except for me, of course.
( ()Φ()) The winning numbers for the Alpha Centuri Daily Jackpot are:
Quarble Graphag QuintaPeta Graphag Peta. The super bonus is "Joggl".
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Alpha Centuri Daily Jackpot
-= Where everyone wins, even if it's just a few dollars =-
@@@@@@@@@@ΘQΘ
@@@ ΘQΘ @( ()Φ())@Grandpa, I wonder the lottery!
@@@@(EΝE)@@/@@ άi I bought us this new laptop.
@@ ^@@@_@ @@@|@| Who knows what crazy adventures this'll lead us on?!
@@/@@ @/PPPP/@| Learning is an adventure!
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. . .
/dqn/
. . .
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@@@ ΘQΘ @iL<_M @j@Hey, wtf, are these guys trying to steal our bit?
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>>44
E < Hey, I resent that remark, you insensitive clod! I'm a pixel and I believe I have a soul!
@@@@ ΘQΘ
@@@^@ EΝE _@ Delicious pixel... must eat...
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(EΝ ) >>49 Hey, come back here!
E < Pixel persecution! Pixel persecution!
Pixel what? I dont get it.
/
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@@@ ΘQΘ @iL<_M @j@- Open the Needler Hall thread already!
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@@@ ΘQΘ @( ()Φ())@Grandpa, aren't those Sasuga brothers just crazy?
@@@@(EΝE)@@/@@ άi Now let's go check out what eBaum has for us today!
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Respect your elders! I'm the one sitting here.
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What with this computer? It doesn't obey me!
Bastard blowfish encrypted my porn.
/
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@@@ ΘQΘ @iLΦ` @j -Thats low..
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@@ ^@@@_@ @@@|@| I you want the pass, get me
@@/@@ @/PPPP/@| Θ_Θ / 100mbit!!!!!lol
Q_(__ΖΒ/@ LΦ`@ / .| .|QQQQiEΝEj_________
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(EΝE) Grandpa, how did you get your eyes back?
( ()Φ()) These eyes change shape from time to time. I don't really know why.
(LΔͺͺͺ²`) Durrrrrrrr
< I'm >>52's mother, I'm really sorry. I would like to apologize for my son's misconduct, please forgive him.
(EΝE) That's OK. I'll forgive you if you go out on a date with me!
‘ < I'm >>61's husband. What in God's Name are you trying to do with my wife? Buzz off.
( ;D;) Love hurts...
( ίDί) OKAY, FUCK THIS. I HATE THIS WORLD!
( ίDί)EWHA- FUCK OFF YOU PRICK. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE-
i@LΦ`jAhahahahaahaha!
i@LΦ`jNow, please excuse me, while Fiancee and I go out to get a mocha latte~
i@LΦ`jiE_EBjΏγ`Iτ
kiss!
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@@@^@ ίΝί _@ Cheer up, emo kid! It could be worse!
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(EΝE) Yeah you're right. Thanks for showing up.
(EΝE)o O (He's right, I could have been more like that old geezer, unable to remember what I'm supposed to do in the middle of the foreplay!LOL)
(EΝE) Haha. Hey, you don't get much either do you, comerade?
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@@@^@ ίΝί _@ I only came for the free food.
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(@;EΝE;;)c@Grandpa! The other kids are mean to me!
@Όc Im set on a path possibly leading to problems
dealing with human relationships in a manner
not unlike a certain eva character!
@@@@@@@@ΘQΘ
@@@@@@@_i@LΦ`jOkay, shut the fuck up, Junior.
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@@@@@@@_i@LΦ`jYou mustn't run away!
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@@@@@@@_i@LΦ`jGo home!
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@@@@@@@_i@LΦ`jget kicked around like an idiot, idiot.
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(EΝE) Tut, tut. You might think I've been letting myself get kicked around like an idiot, but in fact, I was preparing for my hissatsu attack!
i@LΦ`j...
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(EΝE) Grandpa, I just got around to watching the Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru OVA. Why can't I be in love like that?
‘ < I thought we already went through this? The lady is spoken for!
i@LΦ`jiE_EBj Maybe because I keep stealing your girlfriends away from you, Junior? τ
(EΝE) Grandpa, what's so civil about war anyway?
iB;E_Ej r-rei?
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iB;;>_ <;j;; REIIIII
i@LΦ`j War is how gentlemen settle their disputes - by having some
@@@@@@poor bastards go out and shoot at each other.
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(EΝE;)
(;EΝE)
(LίΝί)Β(E(E I can Knead now!
i@LΦ`j That's not you.
@ Ώ
(@;EΝE;;)cGrandpa! I have been wronged!
@Όc Fix this thread up kthx
i@LΦ`j You're too fat to be Junior. Junior, where are you?
@@@@ ΘQΘ
@@@^@ ίΝί _@ Uho!
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@@@@iQ_jQj(@@@@@EΝE@@@@@) Sorry Grandpa... he kept telling me how good it is to eat, and..
i@LΦ`jYou're not allowed to ask me questions until you lose some goddamn weight, fatty.
@@@@ ΘQΘ
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@@@@iQ_jQj(@@@@@EΝE@@@@@) Sorry Grandpa, but we'd rather lose my life! Wait...
Why is he talking to his foot?
/
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@@@ ΘQΘ @iL<_M @j@- Because you touch yourself at night.
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(EΝE) Grandpa, what are the four truths of the Buddha, and are they available for download?
( EΦE) Grandpa, where did Junior's weight go? ...and why didn't you tell me there was a new thread...?
(EΝE) Grandpa, that guy with my eyes and your mouth has no character.
i@LΦ`jOne at a time, Junior. I'm getting old and slow, you know, and you have so many eager questions.
Now, the four noble truths are:
Usually you don't call things "noble truths" in philosophy or Buddhism, but these are so obviously true that they are at the foundation of the entire thing.
As for Clonepa... don't worry about him, he has only a four-year lifespan.
>As for Clonepa... don't worry about him, he has only a four-year lifespan.
As more me it's Minto-chan!!! (Insert jump AA here)
i@LΦ`j It sure is scary when kids are too lazy to copy-paste!
iEΝE) But Grandpa, it's because of our short attention span!
(EΝE) Grandpa, I need help with this math assignment..
2+2 = ?
32 + 10 = ?
(EΝE) + Δͺͺͺ² = ?
Kouyama Mitsuki-chan + Mona jump AA = ?
(EΝE) Oh and
I hate myself and want to die + Himself + Gun + Winter = ?
i@LΦ`j The answer to your question is somewhat complicated junior, Ill try to sketch it out for you:
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(EΝE) Wow, Grandpa! I never knew you could draw!
i@LΦ`jOf course I can't, junior.