( ´ω`) hello kids!

(・∀・) What?! No, Grandpa, what is it?

( ´ω`) Sockpuppet W. Gangare, Junior!

( ・ー・） My last name is Igewal, though.

( ´ω`) ...

( ・ー・） ...I'll be going now.

(・∀・) Grandpa, I want to become a professional Go player. I want to play a game against you in the hopes your fighting spirit will inspire me!

( ´ω`) No. Grow a REAL man's nose and play mahjong.

　　　人
　　（＿_）
　 （＿＿）
　（ ＿＿ ）
　（・∀・) I smell!

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you work for the Siberian Railway?

( ´ω`) Why do you waste my time asking such stupid questions? I don't have much longer to live!

(・∀・) Grandpa, can I have your moustache when you die?

( ´ω`) I'm donating my mustache to the Children's Aid Society when I die. However, you can have my pubes, if you'd like!

(・∀・) Grandpa, why do you look at other women when you have me?

( ´ω`) You're not a woman, you just have vagina envy.

( XωX) OH SHIT! HEART ATTACK! STROKE! DIEEEEEEEEEES!

GRANDPA IS OVER.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　( ´ω`)

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　( ´ω`)

　　　　　　　　　　( ´ω`)

!! ( ´ω`) I've been replaced! Call me..Grandpa.

(・∀・) Uh, okay.

(・∀・) Grandpa, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? It's something I ask of all my prey. I just like the sound of it.

( ´ω`) No, but I did meet the devil at the crossroads. He wanted to know I wanted to buy a chocolate bar for charity. I told him to fuck off.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　|~￣￣|　　　　 ＜　Bless you and live well, Grandpa.
　　　　|____†__| .♀　　　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　 （_・∀・ ）.∥　　　　
　　　 /　~〉†〈/つ　　　　 　
　 　ノ　 ノ|　 |...∥　　　　
　 ´～（_＿）,__）∥ゝ　　

( ´ω`) Hell-a loo yah.

(・∀・) Granpa, where do missing socks go?

( ´ω`)
The Bureau of Missing Socks is seeking young, attractive, potential stars for a series of Internet videos and a possible part in director Joel M. Reed's next feature film. Fame, fortune and a new career are possibilities - International exposure a reality. There will be pay and no fees of any kind are involved. Please email your picture to admin@funbureau.com. If you're under 18 submission must be accompanied by a note from parent or guardian. All entries will be published.

(・∀・) Grandpa, can I sign up?

>attractive, potential stars

( ´ω`)

(・∀・) Yes?

>under 18 submission must be accompanied by a note from parent or guardian

( ´ω`)

(・∀・) Are you saying you won't give permission?!

( ´ω`)

(・∀・) Please...?

( ´ω`) No. Now go and play your cat-guitar.

(・A・)

(・∀・) Please...?

( ´ω`) No, no, and I said no, so no. Do this anymore and I'm going to have to teach you a painful lesson.

( ・ω・) I'll sponsor you, Junior.

(・∀・) But, you aren't my legal guardian. You aren't even a human.

( ´ω`) But junior, you are not even legal.

(・Д・) SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CLONE CRAP WAS ANYONE TALKING TO YOU GET THE FUCK OUT

( ´ω`) Go back to your own damn thread, Emojunior.

(・∀・) Grandpa, who's the deaf, dumb, and blind kid that plays a mean pinball?

( ´ω`) Your mom.

∩( ´ω`)∩ Oh! What's up now, bitch?!

( ・ω・) When did this become Jerry Springer?

(・∀・) Grandpa, I tried to fix the Wikipedia page, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manga, but they blocked my IP range due to some other asshole. Are you a big fan of 'Buttsecks?'

( ´ω（。・_・） I'll fix it in a bit, Junior. I'm busy right now.

(・∀・) I'll just sit here and watch until you can fix it.

（。・_・） ......

( ´ω`) Ok what was that again?

(・∀・) Oh, nevermind.

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was the internet like before MySpace was invented?

\( ´~`)/ hey!

(・∀・)?

( ´ω`) What's MySpace? Is it like goatse.cx?

(・∀・) Grandp∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴

( ´ω`) Finally.

(・∀・) Grandpa, aren't you glad that the House of York won the War of the Roses? Those Lancaster punks didn't stand a chance!

( ´ω`) SHUT THE FUCK UP WAS ANY... oh. sorry...

(・∀・;) Geez, Grandpa. Eats some prunes and maybe you won't be so cranky!

( ´ω∴∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵

( ´ω`) The divine judgement from the Lord Tanasinn has blessed our thread, Junior. Stop being so disrespectful and accept it!

(・∀・) Grandpa, may I ask for whom the bell tolls?

∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
∴∵∴( ´ω∴∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵

∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∵
　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∵
∴∵∴( ・∀∴∵∵∵∵∵∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵
　∴*But I don't wann*-∴∵∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵

∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∵
　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∵
∴∵∴・∀∴∵∵∵∵∵∵
∴∵∵∴∵∴∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵
　∴∴∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵　　　　　　　(・ω・ ) Meh.
∴∵∴∵∴´ω∵∵∵∵∵∵∵　∵∵
　　∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵　∵
∵∵∵∵∵∵∵∵　∵

( ´ω`) hello kids!∵

(・∀・) Well, this is it. Ground zero. Anything you'd like to say?

Grandpa, I would like to apologize to you. I know I have wronged you in the past (as I see you've told Junior), After our parting, I was forced into slavery to obtain the strawberry rice cakes I so desire. It was then that I learned what a horrible place this world truly is. I'm glad that I was able to do this befo∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴

（｀ハ´） Hmph. I don't believe in Tanasin.

（｀ハ´） ...

（｀ハ´） ∴

（｀ハ´） Wha!?

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ∧∧
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(( ( ´ω`) )) Shut the fuck up, bitch.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (( // ､) ､)∩)) ♥
　　　　　　　　　　　　((～（（≡γ'⌒ヽ∧∧ )) ♥　♥　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　し'`Jし'ゝつ；´ヮﾟ)っ )) ♥ Grandpa, it's amazing!! ♥

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ∧∧
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(( ( ´ω`) ))
　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (( // ､) ､)∩))
　　　　　　　　　　　　((～（（≡γ'⌒ヽ∧∧ ))
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　し'`Jし'ゝつ;｀ハ´)っ ))

(・∀・) A part of me has just died.

(・∀・) Well, anyway. What kind of music do you listen to, Grandpa? Or have listened to in the past?

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ∧∧
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(( ( ´ω`) )) Shut the fuck up, junior.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (( // ､) ､)∩)) ♥
　　　　　　　　　　　　((～（（≡γ'⌒ヽ∧∧ )) ♥　♥　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　し'`Jし'ゝつ;・∀・)っ )) ♥ Grandpa, it's amazing!! ♥

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ∧∧
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(( ( ´ω`) )) I like doing it with Shii more
　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (( // ､) ､)∩)) ♥
　　　　　　　　　　　　((～（（≡γ'⌒ヽ∧∧ )) ♥　♥　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　し'`Jし'ゝつ；´ヮﾟ)っ )) ♥ it's because I'm cute, miaow ♥

(・∀・) Okay Grandpa, it's my turn now

( ´ω`) No.

　　　　　　　　　　　　((　　 ∧∧
　　　　　　　　((　(( ( （●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) )) )) DDDUUUUURRR~~~!!!!!
　　　　　　　　　　　((　 (( // ､) ､)∩)) ))
　　　　　　　　　((　((～（（（≡γ'⌒ヽ∧∧ )) )) OH SHI-!!
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　し'Jし'ゝつ;´ω)っ )) )) I'm too old for this! You sick bastard!

(・∀・) Get a room, you two!

　　　　　　　　　　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　　　　　　|　The doctor said that his rectum may
　　　　　　　　　　　|　never recover...
　　　　　　　　　　　|　Such a tragedy...
　 　 　　　 　　　 　 ＼　　 ＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿／
　 　 　　　 　　　 　 　 | .／　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　　　　 ＿
　 　 　　　 　　　 　 　 |/ 　 　 　 　　γ------------ヽ ｌ┴ｌ|
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 　 　 　 　∧∧ | 　 ∧＿∧＿,　 .|.|［__］| ＿＿_＿　peepｰｰｰ……
.　 　 　 　 　 　　。　∧＿∧　（*ｉдｉ)|--（　 ´ω`)（ﾝ--|.|［__］|||田田|：|￣|
　 　 　 　 　 　 ﾟ　 ﾟ（・Д・； ）γ　 、つγ´⌒｀ヽ"～--/　l》| |||田田|ﾟ.|＿|、　　
　 　 　 　 　 　　　∩ ∧＿∧|　ヽつ" / 　 　,,,　ノ .　 /　 |ﾉ|〔二二二〔 　|
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　ゞ（ 　 ・д）／ 　　（ 　 ､,,ノ"　　 / 　ﾉ」 .| ||＿＿＿||／
　 　 　 　 　 　 　 （__（　∩＿∩　ーーーーーーー〈　 / ∧◎∧　　ｌヽ田∧7
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 | （　　　´）　　 　 　　　　　 　〉| / （ ；・∀・）　（‘д‘　）
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　（_（　　　｀つ＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ノ　（_」⊃/二/⊂「：：∩ﾉ
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 　 |　 ｌ　 L||　　 　 　 　 ||　　　 |＿：：__|　　/＿＿ﾝ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　（＿（＿_）　 　 　　　 　 　 　　　 （＿_）＿）　（＿（＿）

　　　　　Junior: Grandpa, I'm here for you!
　　　　　Grandpa: Junior...my stash...is located in C:ヽ Windowsヽ PCHEALTHヽ DQNヽ (・∀・) ...password is 'Mitsuki-chan'...Please, make the collection bigger for me..
　　　　　Junior: Of course, Grandpa!!
　 　 　　　 　　　 　 　　　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　　 　　　　　　 ＿
　 　 　　　 　　　 　 　　 　 　 　 　　γ------------ヽ ｌ┴ｌ|
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 　 　 　 　∧∧ | 　 ∧＿∧＿,　 .|.|［__］| ＿＿_＿　peepｰｰｰ……
.　 　 　 　 　 　　 　　 　 　 　（*・Д・)|--（´ω`　 )（ﾝ--|.|［__］|||田田|：|￣|
　 　 　 　 　 　　 　 　　 　 　γ　 、つγ´⌒｀ヽ"～--/　l》| |||田田|ﾟ.|＿|、　　
　 　 　 　 　 　　　　　　 　　 　 / 　 　,,,　ノ .　 /　 |ﾉ|〔二二二〔 　|
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 　 　　　／ 　　（ 　 ､,,ノ"　　 / 　ﾉ」 .| ||＿＿＿||／
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　 　 　　 　 　ーーーーーーー〈　 / 　 　　　　 　 　 　　
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　　 　 　　 　　　 　 　　　　　 　〉| / 　 　　　　 　 　 　　　　
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　　 　　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ノ　　 　　　　 　

　　　　　Junior: Gra∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴

　 　 　　　 　　　 　 　　 　 　 　 　　γ∵∴--------∵∴┴ｌ|
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 　 　∵∴∧∧ | 　 ∧＿∵∴　 .|.|［__］| ＿＿_＿　pe∵∴
.　 　 　 　 　 　　 　　 　 　 　∵∴Д・)|--（´ω∵∴（ﾝ--|.|［_∵∴田|：|￣|
　 　 　 　 　 　　 　 　　 　 　γ　 、つγ´⌒∵∴～--/　l》| |||∵∴田|ﾟ.|＿|、　　
　 　 　 　 　 　　　　　　 　　 　 / 　∵∴ノ .　 /　 |ﾉ|〔二∵∴ 　|
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　 　 　　　／ 　∵∴ ､,,ノ"　　 ∵∴ .| ||＿∵∴||／
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　 　 　　 　 　ーーーーーーー〈　 / 　 　　　　 　 　 　　
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　　 　 　　 　　　 　 ∵∴　 　〉∵∴　　　　 　 　 　　　　
　 　 　 　 　 　 　　　　 　　　　∵∴＿＿＿＿＿ノ　　 　

some time later

( ´ω`) And so I told the guy "Dagnabbit, git the hell off mah property!"

(・∀・) Ahaha! You're so cool, Grandpa!

　　　　　　　　～～～～～○～～～～～～～～
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　
　　　　　　　　 ＜⌒／ヽ-、_＿_　　
　　　　　　　／＜_/＿＿＿＿／
　　　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

　　　　　　　　　　　∧∧
　　　　　　　　　　（　･∀･）　　Grandpa! I just had this weird dream!
　　　　　　　　　＿|　⊃／(＿＿_ We were taken over by something called "tanasinn"
　　　　　　　／　└-(＿＿＿_／ And then things stopped making sense. You died.
　　　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

if anyone does tanasinn on >>232 i will drive to their house and kick their ass

( ´ω`) You killed me in your sleep. I will NEVER forgive you.

　　　　　　　　　　　∧∧
　　　　　　　　　　（　･∀･）　　You were killed by tanasinn.
　　　　　　　　　＿|　⊃／(＿＿_ I think Clonepa was leading it, though.
　　　　　　　／　└-(＿＿＿_／
　　　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

(・∀・) Grandpa, why is it that man cannot live on bread alone? I think bread is pretty tasty, and you can't have a good sandwich without bread.

( ´ω`) Junior, if you try to live on bread alone, you'll get terrible constipation.

( ;´ω`) Ask me how I know.

(・∀・) How do you know, Grandpa?

( ;´ω`)

(・∀・) Haha! I finally outsmarted Grandpa!

( ´ω`) How many (・∀・)'s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I'll tell you.

( ´ω`)

　 _ 　∩
(　´ω`)彡 ☆ DON'T EVER TALK BACK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!!
　 ⊂彡 ☆ ( `Д´)

(・∀・) I'm sorry.

(・∀・) Here's a new question! If dad is your son, then why does mom live with us when he lives somewhere else?

( ´ω`) Sonny, we have talked about it.[2]

______________
[2] See Grandpa V2.0 somewhere around the start.

(・∀・) Grandpa, did you know that in the War of 1812, a British invasion burned down Washington D.C.?

(・∀・) Also, did you know that Lincoln publically stated he could care less about black people, or slavery, during the Lincoln-Douglas debates of 1858?

( ﾟ ∀ ﾟ ) History is so cool!

( ´ω`) Fscking furries on my intertrons.

(・∀・) Grandpa, are you gay? Are you a nigger?

(・∀・) Are you a gay nigger?

( ´ω`) I am not, nor have I ever been associated with with organization in question.

(・∀・) I think you're avoiding the question, Grandpa.

( ;´ω`) Can't you see that I am not a "nigger", sonny?

(・∀・) But look at you, Grandpa! What I can see of you is definately black!

(・∀・) ...

(・∀・) For that matter, so am I...