( ???) 1000GET!
( LΦ`) ...
( LΦ`) This is the new thread, you idiot. The last one closed at 999.
(??? ) Oh, sorry...
(₯Ν₯) HAY GRANDPA, COM OH, GET SEE RUHS
( LΦ`) Aww, looks like somebody found Grandpa's very expensive alcohol.
( LΦ`) Now go tie yourself up in the van so I can sink you with it.
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( LΦ`) Kid, I was exploding before you were a perveted desire in your dad's head.
(@@@₯Ν₯@@@) I drank too much...
(@@@;Ν;@@@) Shit, now I have to pee...
( LΦ`) The bathroom's broken, thanks to me. Go outside, in the neighbor's lawn.
(₯Ν₯) Ahh. That was a good idea, Grandpa!
R(MDL)Ι STOP PISSING IN MY LAWN!
R(MDL)Ι IT'S BAD ENOUGH CRAPASS FERTILIZES IT DAILY!
@@@@@@@@Shitty lawn ahoyII
@@@@@__@Shitty lawn ahoy !!I@^^
@+@@@+@__Shitty lawn ahoy!!!I^+
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( LΦ`) Junior, I think it's time for the talk.
(₯Ν₯) Yes?
( LΦ`) Sit down and let me tell you about the bees and spiders, my boy. When a bee loves another bee very much, she can't do much about it because most bees are neuters and just exist to do the queen's bidding and their lives pretty much suck. When two spiders love each other very much, the boy spider will carefully dance around the girl spider in an entrancing way, carrying a little bag of sperm in each hand. Once the girl spider is hypnotized by the dance, the boy spider jumps up next to her and jams one or both bags of sperm into her girly parts. This enrages the girl spider, who will try to eat him if he doesn't get away fast enough.
(₯Ν₯) So...
( LΦ`) Yes?
(₯Ν₯) If I like a girl, I should stick a bag full of my sperm up her girly parts?
( LΦ`) Yes.
(₯Ν₯) I'd better get started!
( LΦ`) That boy's going places...
( LΦ`) sniff
(₯Ν₯) Grandpa I'm in jail. Can you pay the bail?
(₯Ν₯) By jail, I mean Happiness-san's house, which smells like a jail.
(₯Ν₯) Also, there's a ball gag in my mouth, and lots of weird looking probes and devices. I'm scared, Grandpa!
( ά-ά) I've always wanted a cute little boy such as you to call my own, Junior...
( άoά) Shhhh.....
( ά-ά) The insertion should only hurt for a minute, my child... After that, you shall journey on endless beautiful vistas of unearthly pleasure, the likes of which you've never even imagined in your emotionally stunted little life.
( ά-ά) Here comes the airplane, little junoir!
Sklurch
(₯Ν₯) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHH!!! OH GOD!!
( ά-ά) Oooh, what's this, little Junior! WHY! It's a genuine rape kit! But in your current situation, Junior, It will do you little good. Besides, it holds you back from the pleasures I am going to visit upon you...
(ά-ά ) Oh well, it's the thought that counts. I shall treasure it always, as a memento of our special relationship we've developed.
(₯Ν₯) AAAAAGHHAAAAGGHHHAAAGGGAAAA!!!
( ά-ά) Oh Junior, you're so deliciously tight! It feels great! Ahhh!!
Meanwhile...
@@@VΏ ΘQΘ
@@@Όάi LΦ`j @Nothin' like looking through my loli stash τ
@@@@ MR_Αά/ά @@@@
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(₯Φ₯) Cease and desist, villian!
@@@VΏ ΘQΘ
@@@Όάi LΦ`j @What do you want, Crapshit?
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(₯Φ₯) Whoops, wrong basement.
(XΝX)
( ά-ά) Shit, he died.
(ά-ά ) Guess I'll go get Mittens.
(₯Φ₯) Not this time, evildoer!
( ί ί) Wha??
(₯Φ₯) Oh, it's just Mittens. I'd better conviently leave so you can be kidnapped.
(₯Ν₯) I'm back from the dead, rapist-san...and I'm going to kill you!
( ά-ά) You can't kill me! The more people hate me, the more that one asshole out there posts me! BWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA
Kindness-san
Junior
i LΦ`jGrandpa: Level 99
HP: 9999/9999
MP: 999/999
Str: 999 at times; 1 when lazy as fuck
Def: Based upon the strength of stench of Armor
Spd: -999
MAtk: 999, 1 when lazy as fuck
MDef: 999
Weapon: Beating stick
Armor: Stinky clothes
Accessory: Onion Ring (replacement for Wedding Ring)
Acessory: Lolicon Ring (Lolis in the area add stat boosts and/or status effects)
Top 5 Spells: Vile Fart, Lolisault, Yawn, Snore, Yell
(ά-ά ) We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
( ά-ά) Junior, this hole I put in your throat is so tight!
(₯Ν₯) Gag, kak, aaccck....
( LΦ`) Okay, I officially give up on this thread. You freaks win, it's all yours.
(LΦ` ) I'm going drinking until the next thread starts.
@ ΘQΘ@@@ΘQΘ@@@ΘQΘ@@ ΘQΘ@ @ @@ΘQΘ
@i@EΝEj @ i@M[Lj@@i@LΝMj@ i@ί Νί j@@@@(@LΦ`) now fuck off.
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( LΦ`) I'm back! Anyone got some questions for me?
(LΦ` ) Okay, I'm going drinking until the next thread starts.
( ά-ά) How much for the boy?
( LΦ`) I'm back! Anyone got some real questions for me?
( ά-ά) Like I said...
(LΦ` ) Okay, I'm going drinking again.
(₯Ν₯) What's your last name, Grandpa?
( LΦ`) Grandpa.
(LΦ` ) Okay, I'm going drinking until the next thread starts.
LEVEL UP
( LΦ`) Grandpa is now, an Alcholic!
( LΦ`) I badly need to pee... All that orange juic... I mean, whiskey!
(LΦ` ) Okay, I'm going drinking until I pee.
( LΦ`)
(LΦ` )
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(LΦ` )
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(₯Ν₯) Drunkpa, what do you think of my site? I call it fakewikichan.
( LΦ`) Great work son. We need more people to think as originally as you.
(₯Ν₯) Thanks!
( EΦE) ... It says "Virus alert"
( LΦ`) Why the hell is my thread reverse?!
(₯Ν₯) Drunkpa, what do you think of my site? I call it http://4-ch.org/
( LΦ`) I find it interesting and boring at the same time.
(₯Ν₯) Grandpa, what carries out and is w?
>>452
( EΦE) we all do sometimes Junior. You'll understand by the time you grow up into a respectable adult.
( LΦ`) Go back to your own thread, crapass.
(₯Ν₯) Grandpa, you would think after 30 years of making video games the companies would get it right, but there still plenty of crap ass video games being released. Why is that?
( LΦ`) Because there are crap ass kids who buy them.
(EΦE) What are you talking about? I don't even have kids.
(₯Ν₯)... Well that's a choice well done for once.
(EΦE) you should practise on the computer and one day you might be able to make your own game-code! Junior.
i☢Φ☢j Hello, I am DAMAGECONTROLpa. I came from the DAMAGE CONTROL TRUCK to bring you an important message from THE 4-ch EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.
( LΦ`) Junior, you would think after 7 threads of making Grandpa posts the DQNs would get it right, but there still plenty of crap ass posts being made. Why is that?
(₯Ν₯) There's a fresh influx of idiots every semester, I'd reckon.
(☢Φ☢)½☣ Wear this, for your own safety.
( LΦ`) How can there be any kind of influx if only 6 people post here?
(₯Ν₯) All it takes is one, Grandpa. All it takes is one.
( LΦ`) Well, that guy from the "We are fat" thread is one person, even if he eats and smells like 1000.
How many people DO post on 4-ch, Grandpa?
( `ΦL) ... wha?
( LΦ`) Junior, I'm hearing voices in my head again. Get my pills.
(₯Ν₯) I forgot to make myself exist again. Silly me.
( `ΦL) Why you little..!
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) Heh. Back when I was but a wee lad, I was always forgetting to make myself exist.
(₯Ν₯) those new eyebrows look rather dapper, Grandpa.
( LΦ`) That's not me, that's your worthless "ooo I'm A Doctor Got Any Nachos" dad.
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ)Β’ Speaking of...
( LΦ`) Those aren't nachos, you know...
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ)
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ)It's not lupus...
(₯Ν₯) Dad, why are women quick to change their minds?
( LΦ`) Because a woman's a two-face terrible thing that'll leave you to sing the blues in the night.
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ)Β* Alright, whoever takes my nachos away gets a ninja star to the eye, capiche?
(₯Ν₯)Β’ Oh fuck, grandpa, don't kill me, I'll give it back, I swear TO FUCKING GOD!!!
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ)Β* ....
@
@ @@@@ @@@@@@@ bonk
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ)Β -------- *#Ν₯) GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
Do you that manner of speaking to your father appropriate, Junior?
(*#Ν₯) i may be a wayward child but at least my sentences make sense, grandpa
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) First, I'm not your grandpa.
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) I'm the one who actually fucked your mom, kid.
(*#Ν₯) Grandpa told me he did that too.
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) ...
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) So where are the pics? Pics or it didn't happen.
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) And get me some nachos and a beer.
(*#Ν₯) Those aren't nachos, you imbecile.
( LΦ`) Id also like to see some pics.
( LΦ`) I am the President of the United States.
( LΦ`) I am not a crook.
( ₯Ν₯) Liar!
(◕ฺΝ◕ฺ) liar.
( ά-ά) He's the kinda guy I'd vote for.
( LΦ`) Who the hell let you back in here?
( ά-ά) I let myself in when I ever-so-kindly dragged your drunken carcass home from the watering hole.
( LΦ`) Keep dreaming, fathead.
( ά-ά) Whatever you say, Mr. President.
( ά-ά) 500 GET!