[Part XI] ( ´ω`) Grandpa [Legendary] (999)

1 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5176 15:50

( ´ω`) Hello, kids!

266 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5193 19:36

It's fun. You get to slap the hell out of obstreperous little brats like you.
　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow ow sorry OW
　　　　☆

267 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5193 22:45

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Hey, Junior! What's it like to be an idiot?

268 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5193 23:33

(・∀・) It's just like Shii felt when he "pretended" to be a pedophile!

269 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5194 00:12

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) So you're just like a pedophile?

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ...

( ﾟ -ﾟ) Stay away, I'm packing heat in my mittens!

270 Name: ⊂二二二（ ＾ω＾）二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5194 06:40

(・∀・) But what about the times we've had mittens? I thought you loved me!

271 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5194 16:12

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) MITON GA SUKI!

272 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5194 20:29

(・∀・) And I was going to try to use hypnosis to cure you of Tourettes syndrome!

273 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5194 23:02

(;∀;) Grandpa, my RL Grandpa died.

274 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 00:01

( ´ω`) Eh, it happens. Rejoice in having one less mouth to feed.

275 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 12:52

(・∀・) I never looked at it that way. Thanks, Grandpa!

276 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 20:13

(・∀・) Grandpa, what are the fundamental misapprehensions in drawing a comparison between denial of global warming and denial of the holocaust?

277 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 20:57

( ´ω`) Well, it assumes that global warming is as real as the holocaust was. As much as they would have you believe otherwise, the science isn't at all conclusive regarding global warming, whereas we have plenty of solid evidence of the holocaust.

( ´ω`) Also, global warmers are power-hungry cynical interfering sniveling little rat-faced leftist former commie bastard busybodies who hate our freedom and global warming denialists are handsome, rugged folk who insist on, nay, even demand truth and honesty from those who would do us economic harm.

278 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 20:59

　　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧
　　　　　　　　　　　（´Д｀ ） 　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　　　　　／　　　＼　＜　 As Junior's teacher, I feel compelled to point out that Marxism rocks.
　　　　　　　 　　｜｜　　｜｜ 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　　　　　 　　｜｜　　｜｜
　　　　　＿＿　／／＿ ／／＿＿＿
　　　　／　　／／　　／／　　　　　 ／
　　　／　　　￣　　 　￣　　　　　 ／／　　　　
　　 ||￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣||　 ||　　　　
　　 ||￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|| 　||　　　　
　　 ||　　　 Teacher's desk　　　 || 　||　　　　
　　 ||　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　||

279 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 22:42

(・∀・) Grandpa, why is my teacher such a blockhead?

280 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 23:39

( ´ω`) Women took over the educational system and systematically removed everything from it that boys excel at, and then removed everything that boys found even remotely interesting because they hate boys.

281 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 00:01

(・∀・) So what exactly are the things that men excel at, and were removed?

282 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 00:12

( ´ω`) Competition, science, math, music, and drawing pictures of guns.

283 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 18:06

( ´ω`) It is said that the native americans used every part of the mitten, but the truth is that they'd unravel them indiscriminately and leave most of the yarn for the scavengers.

284 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 18:13

(・∀・) Wait what?

285 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 18:22

( ´ω`) So to protect our colonies from the selfish and abusive acts of the governments of Earth, we broke the anchor station loose, and the elevator cable came crashing down, faster and faster as it wrapped around Mars, creating an equatorial canyon deeper than any other in the solar system. For months after that, we easily shot down their incoming troop ships, and Mars was free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we were free at last!

286 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 18:25

(・∀・) Grandpa!

287 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 18:27

( ´ω`) We had them beat, but those damned Mumak riders ruined it all when they finally made it to the battlefield. Fortunately, the easterlings never really managed to properly domesticate them, and we were able to drive them into a panicked stampede into the river, where the current took the damned things away forever.

( ´ω`) Only then did the Army of the Dead finally get their act together. Buncha miscreants, I tell ya...

288 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 18:30

( ´ω`) They were all "These mittens were made by the dead, and the dead keep them!" and "These haggis sammiches were made by the Scots and the Scots keep them" and "These koalakangagators were roasted by the Australians and the Australians keep them" and they'd never shut up!

289 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 18:32

( ´ω`) Mark my words, Junior. The mittens are not what they seem.

290 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 20:38

>>285>>287>>288>>289

lol jOO so rAnDom XD XD XD

291 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 20:46

(・∀・) Holy crap the thread is haunted!

292 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 21:59

( ﾟ -ﾟ)... I want to stab people.

293 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 22:39

( ´ω`) Here's a knife. Beady Eyes is over there. Go to work.

294 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5196 22:59

( ﾟ -ﾟ)つ-( ・O・)
( ﾟ -ﾟ)...
( ﾟ ヮﾟ)つ-( ・O・) THIS IS FUN

295 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 00:52

(・∀・) Oh my, I still got Beady on ignore... there!

　　　　　　　YOWCH!
( ﾟ ヮﾟ)つ-( ・O・)

(・∀・) HA HA HA HA

296 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 15:50

Eat a bullet!
( ﾟ ヮﾟ);y=ｰ( ・-・)･∵. AGHH!!

297 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 15:50

( x-x=

298 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 19:50

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before Mitten became a homicidal psycho bitch?

299 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 19:51

(・∀・) Grandpa, what would you do if when you came home,
(・∀・) the plastic had melted and so had the chrome?

300 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 19:52

( ´ω`) She just nattered on about mittens and stuff that little girls like.

301 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 20:06

(・∀・) So the melted chrome & plastic?

302 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5197 20:49

( ´ω`) I would let Child Services smack you around for burning down my vintage Chevrolet.

303 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5198 14:11

(・∀・) What if your friends were the plastic and the chromium too?

304 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5198 17:42

( ´ω`) I would let Beady Eyes adopt you.

305 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5198 19:44

( ◕ ヮ◕) Not to touch the earth, not to see the sun, nothing left to do but to run, run, run...
( ◕ ヮ◕) Um, can you help me find my thread?

306 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 01:12

( ´ω`) Two doors down the hall on the left.

( ´ω`) Goddamn hippy.

307 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 16:22

(・∀・) Grandpa, what were the sixties like?

308 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 18:05

( ´ω`) I Can't tell you Junior. I spent three tours in 'Nam smoking heroin out of the barrel of my gun untill my brain leaked out my ears. All I remember is taking two VC bullets in my ass.

309 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 20:40

(・∀・) Those Victory Cola people were pretty mean! Double-plus mean!

310 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 22:17

( ´ω`) Not as mean as those Eastasians. They were always our enemy!

311 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 22:54

( ´ω`) Not as mean as those Eurasians. They were always our enemy!

312 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 23:20

(・∀・) You're double-plus posting again grandpa.

313 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5200 23:58

( ´ω`) Aren't you late for the Two Minute Hissyfit?

314 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 05:08

(・∀・) I think you confuse me with Beady Eyes again.

315 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 05:34

( ´ω`) Shut up, my eyesight is still perfect. Now go find Junior and tell him to get back here.

316 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 12:11

( ・-・) Yes cramps, I'm here.

317 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 12:46

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))-・) ow how typical OW i hate you OW
　　　　　☆

318 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 16:35

( ´ω`) Shut up and eat your chocolate ration, prole.

319 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 16:35

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like when Eastasia was our ally?

320 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 18:01

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before we all decided to show we'd read 1984?

321 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 18:30

( ´ω`) Read what now?

( ´ω`) Back in '84, Hard & Mondale really screwed up their run for president. Served the goddamn hippies right.

322 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 20:42

(・∀・) Gee, you really hate hippies, don't you?

323 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 21:05

( ◕ ヮ◕) Hihihi, the old coot could never hate me.

324 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5201 23:32

──　=≡∧__∧　
── =≡（　´ω`）　 ≡　No hippy chicks!
─　=≡○_　　 ⊂)=　 ＼ 从／-=≡ ｒ（ ◕ ヮ◕） gnarly!
──　=≡ >　　 ＿_　ノ )）< 　 ＞ 　-=　〉皿　 つ
─　=≡　 (　／　≡ 　　 ／VV＼-=≡⊂ ､　>>
── .=≡( ノ　=≡　　 　　　　　　　　-=　 し'
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|　　　人　
　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 |　　（＿_）　　　人　　　　　　　
　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 |　 （＿＿） 　（＿_）　　
　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 | 〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜

325 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5202 17:55

( ´ω`) Hippies are totally empty, their minds are really useless, they have no sense of humor, and they've got nothing left to laugh about including themselves.

326 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5202 18:48

(　･ิm･ิ) ...

327 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5202 19:15

( ´ω`) Silent as usual. You never did have anything useful to say.

328 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5202 20:59

( ・-・) Don't worry, I can speak more than enough for two people.

329 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5202 21:56

(・∀・) Grandpa, why did you kill grandma?

330 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5202 22:07

( ´ω`) Bitch got outta line.

331 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5203 10:34

(・∀・)But Grandpa why do you always buy 2 tickets to Northfield

332 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5203 15:24

　　　　　　　　　　　おっぱい！
　　　　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　おっぱい　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　おっぱい！　∩　　　∩　ﾉ)　　　おっぱい！
　おっぱい！　　川　∩ 川彡'三つ　　おっぱい！
おっぱい！　⊂ミ∩､⊂ミ∩彡⊃　　　　おっぱい！ Can't touch this, you old fart!
おっぱい！⊂三ミ(　・∀・)彡三彡三⊃　おっぱい！ My whirlwind punches will smack down the senile tyrant!
おっぱい！　⊂彡川⊂彡川ミ⊃　　　　おっぱい！ For great justice, launch zig a zig aaahh!
おっぱい！⊂彡川∪⊃ Ｕ川彡⊃　　　おっぱい！
　おっぱい！　(ノ ∪　　川　∪ミ)　　おっぱい！
　　おっぱい！　　　　　 ∪ 　　　　おっぱい！
　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　　　　　　　　　おっぱい！

333 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5203 18:12

　　　　　　　　　　　おっぱい！
( ´ω`)...　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　おっぱい　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　おっぱい！　∩　　　∩　ﾉ)　　　おっぱい！
　おっぱい！　　川　∩ 川彡'三つ　　おっぱい！
おっぱい！　⊂ミ∩､⊂ミ∩彡⊃　　　　おっぱい！ Wheee!
おっぱい！⊂三ミ(　・∀・)彡三彡三⊃　おっぱい！ I am the king
おっぱい！　⊂彡川⊂彡川ミ⊃　　　　おっぱい！ of Happy Slaps!
おっぱい！⊂彡川∪⊃ Ｕ川彡⊃　　　おっぱい！
　おっぱい！　(ノ ∪　　川　∪ミ)　　おっぱい！
　　おっぱい！　　　　　 ∪ 　　　　おっぱい！
　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　　　　　　　　　おっぱい！

334 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5203 18:13

And now is my moment to strike!
　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow sorry OW ow ow sorry OW
　　　　　☆

335 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5203 18:15

( ´ω`) It's all in the timing, my boy.

336 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5203 18:29

　　　　　　　　　　　おっぱい！
　　　　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　おっぱい　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　おっぱい！　∩　　　∩　ﾉ)　　　おっぱい！
　おっぱい！　　川　∩ 川彡'三つ　　おっぱい！
おっぱい！　⊂ミ∩､⊂ミ∩彡⊃　　　　おっぱい！
おっぱい！⊂三ミ(　・∀・)彡三彡三⊃　おっぱい！ REVENGE!
おっぱい！　⊂彡川⊂彡川ミ⊃　　　　おっぱい！
おっぱい！⊂彡川∪⊃ Ｕ川彡⊃　　　おっぱい！
　おっぱい！　(ノ ∪　　川　∪ミ)　　おっぱい☆
　　おっぱい！　　　　　 ∪ 　　　　おっぱい☆))ω`) ow ow WTF ow ow spare an old man OW
　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！　おっぱい☆
　　　　　　　　おっぱい！　おっぱい！
　　　　　　　　　　　　おっぱい！

337 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 05:04

(#´ω`) Where did you get all those boobs, anyway?

338 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 05:10

(・∀・) I know a plastic surgeon in Chiba. He throws out dozens of the things every week.

339 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 12:24

(#´ω`) What happens when they go past their sell by date?

(・∀・) They sag and slap even better, old fart.

340 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 14:58

>>331

( ´ω`) Gotta take Shii along. His lolicar is broke.

341 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 19:46

(・∀・) Grandpa, when I'm being as much of a jerk as I was in >>332, why haven't you killed me?

342 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 19:51

( ´ω`) Slappy breasts reminds me of Grandma.

( ´ω`) Wait, didn't I dispose of her...?

343 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 20:41

　@@@@
@( ´д`)@ Because I'm not dead?

344 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 20:43

( ´ω`) Hush. I'm trying to remember where I hid your dead body.

345 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5204 22:33

　@@@@
@( ´д`)@ Have you checked behind the sofa?

346 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 02:22

( ´ω`) Of course I did! Do you think I'm senile or something?

347 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 02:34

　@@@@
@( ´д`)@ Quite possibly.

348 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 03:36

(・∀・) Hi, Grandma!

349 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 03:45

　@@@@
@( ´∀`)@ Hi, Junior. Be a dear and help Grandpa look for my corpse, okay?

350 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 09:22

(・∀・) Fuck, I hate corpse runs
Don't you have a recall rune or something?

351 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 16:46

( ・-・) Don't expect me to tank.

352 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 18:57

( ´ω`) We've never expected you to contribute anything useful.

353 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 19:35

( ・-・) Well, at least I always live up to expectations.

354 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5205 20:52

　@@@@
@( ´∀`)@ In this world consistency is much appreciated. Junior, you should take notes.

355 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5207 00:23

(・∀・) But I don't have any mittens and my hands are frozen!(・∀・)

356 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5207 06:40

(・∀・) Hey Grandpa, it's winter!

357 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5207 13:01

( ´ω`) Still looks like September to me.

358 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5207 20:37

(・∀・) Then why do I hate myself and want to die?

359 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5207 21:24

( ´ω`) Because you're an emo whiner who thinks nobody understands you. Alas I understand exactly what you are.

360 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5208 15:51

(・∀・) Is this the part of the thread where I make a pledge to kill Grandpa? That bit's always a laff riot.

361 Name: ­ : 1993-09-5208 17:23

­

362 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5208 18:20

( ´ω`) Sure, go ahead. I'm out of material.

363 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5208 18:23

(・∀・) But now it will seem forced.

364 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5208 19:28

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow ow hate you OW kill you OW
　　　　　☆

( ´ω`) See? that wasn't so forced. Even Beady Eyes would laugh at that.

365 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5208 22:13

( ・-・) I was born unable to laugh. That part of my brain never formed before birth.

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