[Part XI] ( ´ω`) Grandpa [Legendary] - The Forbidden Garden of DQN @ 4-ch Archives

[Part XI] ( ´ω`) Grandpa [Legendary] (999)

1 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5176 15:50 [Del]

( ´ω`) Hello, kids!

450 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 01:01 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) Macaronis! Sounds almost like Mittens!

451 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 04:57 [No]

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was 4-ch like when Mittens had her own thread to natter on about her personal obsession with knitted handcoverings?

(・∀・) Oh, wait, she still does.

452 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 11:47 [No]

( ´ω`) Management's got her doing guest spots in all the character threads, Junior. Polls indicate that she's everyone's favorite.

453 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 14:08 [No]

（　・∀・）Grandpa why are you so fat have you consdiered a diet old man haha you will never surpass me now

454 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 15:39 [No]

( ´ω`) Yes, I could never hope to surpass your levels of stupidity, Junior.

455 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 18:49 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) Everybody loves mittens, Mittens, MITTENS, MITTENS

(　>ヮ<) MIIIIT-TEEEENNNSSSS!!!

( ﾟ -ﾟ) Whew, I'm pooped.

456 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 20:17 [No]

(・∀・) Grandpa! Tell us another mildly disturbing fact about your current sex life!

457 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 20:24 [No]

( ´ω`) I use mittens as condoms.

458 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 23:05 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ)

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ewwwwwww

459 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5226 23:07 [No]

(・∀・) Grandpa, among the many jobs you've had in your life, which was your favorite?

460 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 01:25 [No]

( ´ω`) Volunteer beer taster.

461 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 02:12 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) Mittens quality inspector!

(・∀・) Really? Why didn't you stay in the job?

( ﾟヮﾟ) I failed every mitten so I could keep them myself.

(・∀・) Duh, obviously they would fire you for that.

( ﾟ -ﾟ) No, but they set fire to all the failed mittens.

462 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 02:24 [No]

( ・-・) Serves you right, you greedy little strumpet.

463 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 04:07 [No]

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ...what?

464 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 17:59 [No]

( ´ω`) THAT explains why that masked whore insisted I use mittens as condoms!

465 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5227 18:57 [No]

(　･ิω･ิ) Wow, you too?

466 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 02:12 [No]

( ﾟ -ﾟ) .....

( ﾟ -ﾟ) I don't know what you guys are talking about.

467 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 12:35 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) WHORES!

468 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 12:55 [No]

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟ∀ﾟ)彡 WHORES!
　⊂彡 WHORES!

469 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 15:45 [No]

(　･ิm･ิ) What's the ugliest part of your body?
(　･ิm･ิ) Some say it's your nose?
(　･ิm･ิ) Some say it's your toes?
(　･ิm･ิ) I think it's your mittens!

470 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 19:38 [No]

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ..... et tu, Frankpa?

(ﾟ- ﾟ )

|彡

471 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 22:24 [No]

( ´ω`) I thought she'd never leave.

( ´ω`) Time to hand out Christmas presents!

472 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 22:26 [No]

(・∀・) I got a new bicycle!

(　･ิω･ิ) I got tartar control nachos!

( ・-・) I got a rock.

473 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5228 22:36 [No]

( ﾟ mﾟ) I'm not really into the whole getting a brand new iPhone for Xmas thing.

474 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 00:32 [No]

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) I got a bag of
ﾐ*ﾟ-ﾟ) ... oh, it's only chocolate money.

475 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 04:55 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) Did I get anything?

476 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 09:02 [No]

( ´ω`) I was going to get you mittens, but you allready BOUGHT ALL THE ONES IN THE CITY.

477 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 12:46 [No]

( ´ω`) So I skinned a pair of hamsters for you. If you stick your thumbs into their scrotal sacs, they're kind of like mittens.

478 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 17:02 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) Yay!

479 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5229 23:13 [No]

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) I got a bag of

480 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5230 01:20 [No]

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) bags.

481 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5230 04:56 [No]

(・∀・) Would those be ... funbags?

482 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5230 20:02 [No]

（　｀ハ´） I received everything in the refrigerator. My most heartfelt thanks, Grandpa.

|彡

483 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5231 14:18 [No]

( ´ω`) I'd appreciate it if you brought back the thing that looks like a paint can.

( ´ω`) That's the stool sample I was saving for the lab tests.

484 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5231 21:42 [No]

（　｀ハ´） I cooked it up for the stableboy already. He loved it.

485 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5231 23:38 [No]

( ・ω・) It's the only thing I've had to eat all month.

486 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5232 01:12 [No]

( ´ω`) Dammit, it could be weeks before I pass another one...

487 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5232 15:57 [No]

（　｀ハ´） I can offer you these premium laxatives at a bargain price.

488 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5233 17:36 [No]

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like back in your days?

489 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5233 17:36 [No]

( ´ω`) Back in my day, I could shit like a draft horse.

490 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 20:04 [No]

( ´ω`) Back in those days, I had no wife, no horse, no mustache, and things were just peachy. We had just finished punishing Germany for bombing Pearl Harbor, and I was up to my hips in adorable Filipino girls. It was paradise.

( ´ω`) Then WWIII happened, and everything went up in nuclear fire. And it was then that I grew a mustache.

491 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 22:02 [No]

(・∀・) Why a mustache, Grandpa?

492 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5236 00:46 [No]

( ´ω`) The mutants wouldn't eat me if I had a mustache. They didn't like the way it tickled their throats on the way down.

493 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5236 20:21 [No]

(・∀・) So what's with the nutsack?

494 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 01:46 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) It's so he can wear more mittens

495 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 20:52 [No]

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was the internet like before SomethingAwful was replaced by a domain parker website?

496 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 21:32 [No]

( ´ω`) The nutsack happens to all the men in our family. You'll get yours around age 12.

497 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 22:23 [No]

(・∀・) Speed it up, Cramps. You're two topics behind.

498 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:23 [No]

( ´ω`) Go to your room. You're annoying me.

499 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:25 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) What was your proudest GET?

500 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:26 [No]

( ・-・) What a stupid question.

501 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5238 22:35 [No]

( ´ω`) That would be the rare 501get, which I use to make custom bluejeans.

502 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 12:27 [No]

( ・-・) What a stupid answer.

503 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 17:37 [No]

(・∀・) Grandpa, I know doing drugs is bad, but is selling them to make a profit?

504 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 18:08 [No]

( ´ω`) You wouldn't sell them to make a loss, would you?

505 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 19:40 [No]

(・∀・) If I wanted to get revenge on someone by giving them a crack addiction...

506 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 22:24 [No]

(・∀・) Or if I'm just feeling generous...

507 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5239 22:45 [No]

　　No generosity in this house!
　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow sorry OW ow ow sorry OW
　　　　　☆

508 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 19:05 [No]

( ・-・) Take your pills, Grandpa, I'm generously giving them for free.

509 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 19:34 [No]

( ´ω`) Okay.

510 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 19:52 [No]

(・∀・) Take your smack, Grandpa, I'm generously shooting it up your veins for free.

511 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 19:56 [No]

(・∀・) See that's my hook. First shot's free, but seconds are double.

512 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 20:02 [No]

( ´ω`)っ Thanks, but I can do that myself.

( ´ω`)

|ω` ) ...Now to go sell all this, and spend the profits on beer.

|彡

513 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 20:26 [No]

(・∀・) All according to keikaku. Now I just have to call the FBI.

514 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 20:41 [No]

　　　　　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　∩・∀・）＜　 Hello, FBI?
□………(つ　　| 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

　　　　　　　　 C∧ ∧
　　 ___　　　　○(´ω` )
　／◎＼……C｜　＼
　　　　　　　　　　∧
／￣￣￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| What do you want, kid?
＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

515 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 21:14 [No]

　　　　　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　∩・∀・）＜　 Could I speak to Agent Rotch? First name Mike.
□………(つ　　| 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

　　　　　　　　 C∧ ∧
　　 ___　　　　○(´ω` )
　／◎＼……C｜　＼
　　　　　　　　　　∧
／￣￣￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| I think Mike Rotch was kicked to death last week.
＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

　　　　　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　∩・∀・）＜　 Got kicked in the nuts, eh?
□………(つ　　| 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

516 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5241 23:09 [No]

　　　　　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　∩・∀・）＜　I'm sorry, I missed part of that because your post was too long.
□………(つ　　| 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

517 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5242 07:34 [No]

　　　　　　　　 C∧ ∧
　　 ___　　　　○(・∀・ )
　／◎＼……C｜　＼
　　　　　　　　　　∧
／￣￣￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| I said I'm a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

518 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5242 14:53 [No]

( ´ω`) So who ya talkin' to?

519 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5242 18:48 [No]

(・∀・) Well, I thought it was the FBI, but apparently I was talking to the cookie monster.

(・∀・) Stupid toy phone I HATE IT!

520 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5242 19:35 [No]

( ´ω`) Whatever you do, be careful with it. You might damage the camera I hid inside it.

521 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5242 21:13 [No]

(・∀・) You haven't been selling videos of me to those voyeur porn sites again have you grandpa?

522 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5242 22:23 [No]

( ・-・) Oh, how I fapped!

523 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:26 [No]

( ´ω`) So you masturbated, eh?

524 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:27 [No]

(・∀・) You bopped your baloney?

525 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:28 [No]

( ´ω`) You hit up the backstage party with Rosie and the Five Fingers?

526 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:28 [No]

(・∀・) You spanked Elvis?

527 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:29 [No]

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) You waxed the dolphin?

528 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:30 [No]

( ﾟヮﾟ) You spit in the mitten?

529 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:30 [No]

( ・ω・) You played with your doll?

530 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:31 [No]

( ´ω`) You hammered out a contract?

531 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:36 [No]

(　･ิω･ิ) You danced to the five knuckle shuffle?

532 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 16:52 [No]

( ・-・) All of those, AND MORE!

533 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 19:04 [No]

( ﾟ -ﾟ) You're gross.

534 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 20:12 [No]

( ・-・) Yup, I'm the gloss on your vagina.

535 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 22:33 [No]

>>528 wins three internets.

536 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 23:09 [No]

( ・-・) I was >>528

537 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 23:41 [No]

>>535

( ´ω`) We don't pass out "internets" here, son. We only have mittens and useless clones

538 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 23:46 [No]

( ・-・) Hey cramps, I was >>528, he gave me internets

539 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5244 23:56 [No]

( ´ω`) What he gave you was a LIE

540 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 00:38 [No]

( ・-・) Grandpa, who wrote this shit of a script?

541 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 02:11 [No]

( ´ω`) I did, and you are grounded, young man.

542 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 14:53 [No]

(・∀・) Grandpa, when did you become so strict?

543 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 19:15 [No]

( ´ω`) A long time ago, in the age of dinosaurs. Those critters were running wild so I slammed my fist on the desk to show who's the boss... thus accidentally creating the Chick's Club crater.

( ´ω`)

( ´ω`) Ph34r m3

544 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 20:35 [No]

( ・-・) I totally score at the Chick's club all the time guys.

545 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 20:39 [No]

(・∀・) All the time guys? I would have thought that he'd be able to pick up some women there. But, that's beady eyes for you.

546 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 21:08 [No]

( ・-・) "Ph34r m3"? Clonepa, I thought I told you to stop playing with those goddamn masks already.

547 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5245 21:24 [No]

Scream and run in horror from my terrifying visage!
　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))-・) ow sorry OW ow ow sorry OW
　　　　　☆

( ´ω`) Here I go to the trouble of picking up the lingo of you hip youngsters and all I get is mockery!

548 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5246 00:15 [No]

(・∀・) Would you like some cake?

549 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5246 01:35 [No]

( ・-・) If this is going where I think it is then you can fuck right off.

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[Part XI] ( ´ω`) Grandpa [Legendary] (999)

1 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5176 15:50 [Del]

450 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 01:01 [No]

451 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 04:57 [No]

452 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 11:47 [No]

453 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 14:08 [No]

454 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 15:39 [No]

455 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 18:49 [No]

456 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 20:17 [No]

457 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 20:24 [No]

458 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 23:05 [No]

459 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5226 23:07 [No]

460 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5227 01:25 [No]

461 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5227 02:12 [No]

462 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5227 02:24 [No]

463 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5227 04:07 [No]

464 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5227 17:59 [No]

465 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5227 18:57 [No]

466 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 02:12 [No]

467 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 12:35 [No]

468 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 12:55 [No]

469 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 15:45 [No]

470 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 19:38 [No]

471 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 22:24 [No]

472 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 22:26 [No]

473 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5228 22:36 [No]

474 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5229 00:32 [No]

475 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5229 04:55 [No]

476 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5229 09:02 [No]

477 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5229 12:46 [No]

478 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5229 17:02 [No]

479 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5229 23:13 [No]

480 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5230 01:20 [No]

481 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5230 04:56 [No]

482 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5230 20:02 [No]

483 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5231 14:18 [No]

484 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5231 21:42 [No]

485 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5231 23:38 [No]

486 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5232 01:12 [No]

487 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5232 15:57 [No]

488 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5233 17:36 [No]

489 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5233 17:36 [No]

490 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5235 20:04 [No]

491 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5235 22:02 [No]

492 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5236 00:46 [No]

493 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5236 20:21 [No]

494 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5237 01:46 [No]

495 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5237 20:52 [No]

496 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5237 21:32 [No]

497 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5237 22:23 [No]

498 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5238 22:23 [No]

499 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5238 22:25 [No]

500 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5238 22:26 [No]

501 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5238 22:35 [No]

502 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5239 12:27 [No]

503 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5239 17:37 [No]

504 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5239 18:08 [No]

505 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5239 19:40 [No]

506 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5239 22:24 [No]

507 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5239 22:45 [No]

508 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 19:05 [No]

509 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 19:34 [No]

510 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 19:52 [No]

511 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 19:56 [No]

512 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 20:02 [No]

513 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 20:26 [No]

514 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 20:41 [No]

515 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 21:14 [No]

516 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5241 23:09 [No]

517 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5242 07:34 [No]

518 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5242 14:53 [No]

519 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5242 18:48 [No]

520 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5242 19:35 [No]

521 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5242 21:13 [No]

522 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5242 22:23 [No]

523 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5244 16:26 [No]

524 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5244 16:27 [No]

525 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5244 16:28 [No]

526 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5244 16:28 [No]

527 Name: （ ・∀・） : 1993-09-5244 16:29 [No]