( LΦ`) Hello, kids!
( ί ί) Macaronis! Sounds almost like Mittens!
i@EΝEjGrandpa why are you so fat have you consdiered a diet old man haha you will never surpass me now
( LΦ`) Yes, I could never hope to surpass your levels of stupidity, Junior.
( ί ί) Everybody loves mittens, Mittens, MITTENS, MITTENS
(@><) MIIIIT-TEEEENNNSSSS!!!
( ί -ί) Whew, I'm pooped.
(EΝE) Grandpa! Tell us another mildly disturbing fact about your current sex life!
( LΦ`) I use mittens as condoms.
( LΦ`) Volunteer beer taster.
( ί ί) Mittens quality inspector!
(EΝE) Really? Why didn't you stay in the job?
( ί ί) I failed every mitten so I could keep them myself.
(EΝE) Duh, obviously they would fire you for that.
( ί -ί) No, but they set fire to all the failed mittens.
( ί -ί) ...what?
( LΦ`) THAT explains why that masked whore insisted I use mittens as condoms!
( ί ί) WHORES!
@ _ @Ώ
(@ίΝί)c WHORES!
@Όc WHORES!
( LΦ`) I was going to get you mittens, but you allready BOUGHT ALL THE ONES IN THE CITY.
Π*ί°ί) bags.
( LΦ`) I'd appreciate it if you brought back the thing that looks like a paint can.
( LΦ`) That's the stool sample I was saving for the lab tests.
( EΦE) It's the only thing I've had to eat all month.
i@MnLj I can offer you these premium laxatives at a bargain price.
( ί ί) It's so he can wear more mittens
( LΦ`) Go to your room. You're annoying me.
( E-E) What a stupid question.
( LΦ`) That would be the rare 501get, which I use to make custom bluejeans.
( E-E) What a stupid answer.
(EΝE) Grandpa, I know doing drugs is bad, but is selling them to make a profit?
( LΦ`) You wouldn't sell them to make a loss, would you?
(EΝE) If I wanted to get revenge on someone by giving them a crack addiction...
(EΝE) Or if I'm just feeling generous...
@@No generosity in this house!
@@@ Θ__Θ@ Ώ
@@@i,,LΦ`)c
@@@@Όc))ΝE) ow sorry OW ow ow sorry OW
@@@@@
( E-E) Take your pills, Grandpa, I'm generously giving them for free.
( LΦ`) Okay.
(EΝE) Take your smack, Grandpa, I'm generously shooting it up your veins for free.
(EΝE) See that's my hook. First shot's free, but seconds are double.
( LΦ`)Α Thanks, but I can do that myself.
( LΦ`)
|Φ` ) ...Now to go sell all this, and spend the profits on beer.
|c
(EΝE) All according to keikaku. Now I just have to call the FBI.
@@@@@ @Θ Θ@@^PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
@@@ @ @ΏEΝEj@ Hello, FBI?
ccc(Β@@| @ _QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
PPPPPPPP|
@@@@@@@@ CΘ Θ
@@ ___@@@@(LΦ` )
@^_ccCb@ _
@@@@@@@@@@Θ
^PPPPPP@PPPPPPPPPPPP
| What do you want, kid?
_QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
@@@@@ @Θ Θ@@^PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
@@@ @ @ΏEΝEj@ Could I speak to Agent Rotch? First name Mike.
ccc(Β@@| @ _QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
PPPPPPPP|
@@@@@@@@ CΘ Θ
@@ ___@@@@(LΦ` )
@^_ccCb@ _
@@@@@@@@@@Θ
^PPPPPP@PPPPPPPPPPPP
| I think Mike Rotch was kicked to death last week.
_QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
@@@@@ @Θ Θ@@^PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
@@@ @ @ΏEΝEj@ Got kicked in the nuts, eh?
ccc(Β@@| @ _QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
PPPPPPPP|
@@@@@@@@ CΘ Θ
@@ ___@@@@(EΝE )
@^_ccCb@ _
@@@@@@@@@@Θ
^PPPPPP@PPPPPPPPPPPP
| I said I'm a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
_QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
(EΝE) Well, I thought it was the FBI, but apparently I was talking to the cookie monster.
(EΝE) Stupid toy phone I HATE IT!
( LΦ`) Whatever you do, be careful with it. You might damage the camera I hid inside it.
(EΝE) You haven't been selling videos of me to those voyeur porn sites again have you grandpa?
( E-E) Oh, how I fapped!
( E-E) All of those, AND MORE!
( E-E) Yup, I'm the gloss on your vagina.
( LΦ`) We don't pass out "internets" here, son. We only have mittens and useless clones
( LΦ`) What he gave you was a LIE
( E-E) Grandpa, who wrote this shit of a script?
( LΦ`) I did, and you are grounded, young man.
( LΦ`) A long time ago, in the age of dinosaurs. Those critters were running wild so I slammed my fist on the desk to show who's the boss... thus accidentally creating the Chick's Club crater.
( LΦ`)
( LΦ`) Ph34r m3
(EΝE) All the time guys? I would have thought that he'd be able to pick up some women there. But, that's beady eyes for you.
( E-E) "Ph34r m3"? Clonepa, I thought I told you to stop playing with those goddamn masks already.
Scream and run in horror from my terrifying visage!
@@@ Θ__Θ@ Ώ
@@@i,,LΦ`)c
@@@@Όc))-E) ow sorry OW ow ow sorry OW
@@@@@
( LΦ`) Here I go to the trouble of picking up the lingo of you hip youngsters and all I get is mockery!
( E-E) If this is going where I think it is then you can fuck right off.