Without realizing it, it happened. We have been in the same class for a semester, and we would meet by coincidence on campus all the time. At the time I had a girlfriend that I was unhappy with though. We broke up. I started talking with the new girl more, but wasn't getting any special vibes. I knew she had to go back to her home country soon anyway.
I went to her goodbye party and I took her to disneyland the next day. We held hands and had a great time. I took her to a beach and we layed down on a blanket on the sand, holding eachother, in silence for a long time. We both said that we wish we had found eachother earlier.
When I took her back home I hugged her and told her how much I liked her. I told her I wish I realized it sooner, I wish we had met earlier or had more time. She said, "I love you" and we kissed once and hugged again, she then ran to the door with tears in her eyes.
The next day I looked in the book she gave me and there was a note saying how she should have known me earlier and how much she will miss me.
She is gone now, back to her home country. Dammit.
To expect to stay in her house during this unexpected visit would be imposing a bit too much, I think.
>>28 hahahah not going to happen... at all.
I'll only be gone for a week and I have other people to visit as well. I talked to her, and she may only be able to see me for one day so I better make the best of it.
I make decent money but I spend frivolously, I'll just have to cut my spending really for the next few months to make up for the trip.
Enjoy everything being 20 dollars more than what you'd normally pay in the US. Also hotels are fuck expensive. 120+ for one night.
I'd really do some research before you go. I admire the whole Knight on Shining Airplane thing but I'm sure you'd rather have enough money to buy food and not smell like shit and all that than get to see some cute girl for a day.
Hahaha, I'm not a complete idiot, lol. Just a partial idiot...
I have been to Japan before, and I am making this a budget trip by all means. I have found inns to stay in that are $30 a night. When I need to spend money, I will spend it. I have the credit limit and I have a job that I can always put more hours into.
I have friends to stay with also for a few nights.
I do everything with common sense in mind. Even though the trip itself was spontaneous and drastic, I have done the research.
One of my number one goals for Japan, even if the girl thing does not work out at all, is to go to the Iron Chef Italian's restaurant and possibly meet him. That would just be awesome.
>>32
nice backup plan ^_^, but, think that it WILL succeed!
>>32
I'd offer to buy you a beer if you're near Shibuya, but I don't want to meet strangers from the internets :P
>>34
Thank you, I guess.
Well, that is understandable. Meeting somebody from myspace is one thing, at least there are pics.
Here it's almost like you have to assume everyone is a lolicon rapist murderer until proven otherwise. Seriously, look at the conversation topics on some of the other boards! Scary!
Why exactly are you in Japan, btw?
>>35
because pics on the internet are conclusive proof that one is not a lolicon rapist murderer amirite
Well they can provide some inference as to the type of person.
except when they actually happen to be pictures of someone else.
lol got me there.
I guess the point I am hoping to make is that I'm not a lolicon rapist murderer. I am actually quite normal.
woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, now, it gets interesting
What day is your flight?
23rd of Jan, arrive 24th in Japan
Any reply from the email or any other correspondence? Update!
Nope! She is on vacation at the moment, so I'm trying my best not to obsess about the things that I cannot change!
One week till I leave!
I'll try to post at least once from Japan
Well,
Since she is searching for a job (which is a HUGE deal in Japan) she is unable to meet me.
bad timing on my part. She does say that she wants to keep our friendship strong even if we don't meet.
So, for now, thats the bitter end of this story.
>>45
gwah what kind of excuse is that? Surely she is not spending 8hr/day+ searching for a job daily. The unemployed always have plenty of time on their hands!
Yeah, not even less than an hour for lunch or something?
>>47
The Japanese don't work like that. If its not all day, then it's not worth it, to most of them.
Also I'm pretty sure she is just protecting her and myself from getting hurt.
Not doing anything for fear of getting hurt... sounds like a bad idea to me, it'll only hurt in the future when you start wondering what might have been.
Of course I mean that this is her bad decision, not yours. Just in case that sounded wrong.
It is very unfortunate. Let fate decide as time goes by.
Time for you to hit the bars in Roppongi.
>>52
How did you know exactly what I was thinking?
Well, I'll make it the best trip possible, but it will be missing one crucial element. sigh
At least I can say I'm a risk taker
People in Roppongi bars aren't looking for the love of their life, they're looking for flings. Try somewhere with a better reputation.
>>54
At this point I don't think he's looking for the love of his life during a week long vacation...
in japan right now... anyways im having a good time but did not and most likely will not meet the girl.
definitely not looking for love anymore, ill leave that to the future
God damn it! You came to Japan to meet her! Try to meet her at least for an hour or so! If she can't give you one fuckin' day after saying that she loved you then she is just a fucking bitch! Sorry for saying that, but you put a lot of effort to visit her and now she don't even want to see you. What kind of love is that supposed to be? Don't want to hurt each other? You want to see the girl you love! What is more painfull? Seeing each other or not seeing when there is a chance?
You can either meet her or forget about her. Make your decision. If I were you, I would do anything to meet her especially if I were in Japan.
do something, man! I don't want such a lame ending to this story.
This weekend is Lunar New Year so head to Chinatown in Yokohama, I hear it's nice there.
>>56
What kind of sights are you seeing? What foods are you gorging on? Have you committed any social faux pas?
>>59
I saw a few touristy sites, went to northern Japan and went skiing. I did also go the the Iron Chef Italians restaurant and met him. He even took a picture with me, which made the trip worth it.
As far as social faux pas, nothing, but I almost got ran over by a bicycle. Other than that, I'd say I'm doing pretty well.
While I agree with you, I think even I have settled for the lame ending to this story.
Having consulted my Japanese friends on the matter, it turns out that because she (and I) know that it really is impossible to have a relationship now, it is better to just turn off all feelings. In that way, my friends say, Japanese women can be very cold. It doesn't mean that she doesnt have feelings for me, I know she does, it is just the sheer impossibility of the situation. Even I accept the fact that seeing her for one hour would accomplish nothing.
So, the adult thing for me to do is live my life, and if an opportunity for us to be together comes, then I will give it my all, because she truly is a wonderful girl.
If not then, I guess it wasn't fated to be.
>>58
I was going to go to yokohama to visit my cousin in the army, but I cant get his number to connect. Thanks for the suggestion though.
I'm 57.
In the begining you really impressed me with all that gathering cash to meet her. You were so full of ideas and hopes.
But now you just gave up. You did not acomplished anything except going to japan. It's sad and pathetic. You act like a total loser. It's ok if you won't see her again and even forget about her, cuz you did not cared about this feeling so much if you can just give up at this point. I think that anyone who can give up this easly on his feeling does not deserve love.
In my opinion, love is something you have to fight for. Do anything you can to make everything worth. If you are not able to fight for it, it was not a real love.
:(
here there be stalkers
>I guess it wasn't fated to be
I don't believe in fate, I don't like the idea, that I'm not in control of my life. You went to Japan, and instead of finding this girl, you went skiing. Unless she was at the same ski resort, you trip foolish. You had an opportunityx to get her, or at least had closure about everything, but you did jackshit. I have yet to have the type of love where I would get up and chase a girl halfway around the world to find her, I doubt I ever will. But you had a chance, you had an opporunity and you blew it. Man, this thread was a fucking waste of my time.
I am so sorry to have dissapointed you all. But there are things you don't understand, things I didn't understand until recently.
My closure came the day the email was sent when she said that she couldn't see me. That was her way of telling me, even though I like you, I don't want to introduce any complication into my life, I don't want to get hurt any more. This relationship won't work. Etc.
That was my closure. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to get her cell number, travel to her city, and tell her, "Hey, I'm here so lets get lunch. Any time is good for me. I'll wait for you" I could have said all of those things. I could have fought with all I had. But I realized something, even if I did all of those things, she didn't have enough feelings for me to match what I had for her. I had enough love to travel to another country, while she didn't have enough love to take the risk.
Once I saw that, I found peace of mind. Yes, I'm sad, yes I'm dissapointed, but I feel no regret in not contacting her. I made every step that was reasonable, and was rejected. So I feel that you guys are being unfair to me right now. I'm not asking you to respect me for making what I feel is the mature decision, but please at least understand why.
the mature decision would have been to forgotten about her and moved on with your life from the beginning.
>>64 Now I can understand your decision. It's good that you were able to understand that it wasn't really a strong feeling on her side. I was pissed off cuz you were not blaming her at all. It's ok now. Just have fun while you're in Japan. Don't let this time to be wasted. Cheer up, she was not worth your feeling.
>>65 You are probably right, but it will take another three more huge failures like this until my heart is hardened to that point, I'm a nice guy. ^^
Well, as for an update on the trip, I did get to meet the Iron Chef Italian and take a picture with him! Also I saw a bunch of sites, AND did a heroic act. I saw a drunk guy beating up his girlfriend so I pulled him away and held him down until the police came. No one else was doing anything, even the other American guy at the scene, so I jumped in.
So, it was a satisfying trip. I even got some romantic action, so not all was in vain.
Well, from the start, thanks for the support. Thanks also for the badgering. I deserved it in a lot of ways. For the way I talked about how much I liked that girl, I am happy to see people try to keep me on track. I guess I just had to move on. However, had I not gone to Japan, so many cool things wouldn't have happened. So, in the end, it was worth it, and a positive thing.
Except the debt... Damn.
Oh man... im in the exact situation as you man... me and this guy had the same class in fall semester.. but i missed my chance, but now i see him by coincidence on campus, and i still havent said anything, and i have a feeling he's interested too. but right now im writing a letter to give to him, but absolutley cluesless as to wat to say... and im giving it to him ... coincidentaly on valentines day...
if you have boobs and he's a guy, your letter doesn't need to say anything. just chuck a picture of them in an envelope and if he doesn't ask you out he's gay or accounted for.
>>68
Do something. Don't ever ever give up on the chance. Write a short letter (trust me) so you don't look crazy. Just let him know how you feel in a casual way. Maybe both of you will have a wonderful Valentines.
As for me... life sucks! No response from the girl for a while now... Looks like everyone was right. Looks like I just have to harden my heart a little bit more.
>>1
life sucks now, but you just need to move on, if she was truely the love of your life then you would have had her. your true live is waiting for you, go out and find Her.
I think you did great. you went as far as you could without ruining things. You're probably doing the right thing. But regardless, you've shown both resolve and levelheadedness.
i'm sure they think the same thing to some extent. but yeah, i'd feel like an ass too. but you still did great! a lot better than I would ever do!
Did anything happen in these two years with you? Did you find your love or are together with that girl from Japan?
This is quite the acceptable necromancing. I too wonder what has happened in these years.
Same here...