>>37
You can update if things go well too, let us at least know how the date goes!
Remember you can always sage your own post if you don't want to bump the thread to the top.
screw all those haters. I wanna know how the date went. grabs bag of popcorn
screw all those haters. I wanna know how the date went. grabs bag of popcorn
I just know that there's something really messed up with this world... No offense, but the last thing I would want (as a guy) is a girl who just dumped another girl...
Please stop making threads relating to Densha Otoko.
There it is, written at the top of the page, very official.
hi...haven't posted in this section in a long time (Romance section)...
>>41, you're right. Not only is it messed up to date someone who broke up with her ex, but also break up with an ex that's a girl!! I'm ok with the bi/homosexual environments that exist in this world...but i don't want that to go around in my own life.
Anyways, you sound like a really nice woman, Crusher (can we give you a better name too?). I admire how you like to take certain things positive and at least try to make it happen. To me, you're the female Chinese version of Densha Otoko...and apparently you are giving hope to some of these people who read this thread. Unfortunately, I'm like >>39-40 here...WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE DATE?!!!
One thing is certain: you can either be a Densha and try acting "fake" for a while (Guy [amazed]: Wow! I didn't know you were this kind of woman) or just be yourself...but slowly show your true feelings. If you're aiming for the latter, just try to have one-on-one activities and share some personal stuff about yourself (NOT TOO MUCH HOWEVER). Eventually, he'll start listening to you more deeper and probably become very interested in you.
I spent too much time thinking and typing. Just do your best!! At least here...you got friends by your side (even if you can't see us).
>>37
No anons around here. Only a bunch of Secret Admirers ;)
>>41, >>43
I can understand teh feeling...years of being only interested in girls and then a guy comes along makes all the girls angry at you, too, like you "betrayed" their community. I admit, I used to hate those girls most, too. And now I'm one of them...
No matter what, I think if you're "bi," people don't like you either way lol.
I only believe in being devoted to one person, though.
>>42
Not REALLY related? Yeah, sorry for the reference. If I ever start a thread again, I'll leave it out.
>>43 I wouldn't mind a better name! I think Secret Admirer is right, I have been too lacking in confidence when I'm already better off than many people. It's just every time I have really liked a person, it has ended in disaster. -laughs- (Two times, people: one boy and one girl. The boy rejected my confession, and the girl, well...no more talking about her.)
I'll try and stop being so enthusiastic.
Everybody says be yourself, I agree this is most important...I guess it's just trouble when you think a person might be The One.
...trying to sage my own thread, hope it works...
/lol nub
To all others beside Crusher: WE NEED TO GIVE THIS GIRL A SOMEWHAT CUTE NAME. Any ideas? I have one: Hidden Mandarin (idk...just thought "Chinese" and "Anonymous"
@Crusher (temp name): have you ever heard of the term "trial and error?" Each new date or confession is a new trial. If it doesn't work, you try looking at yourself what is the problem and improve on it. Sure, people are different, but only YOU can sustain or improve the image of yourself. Eventually, you'll find someone you'll be able to go out with, and if possible, someone you'll spend the rest of your life with.
No offense, but I really think "Thundertights" made lol more than one of us. What about that?
You guys, I was lolling and about to suggest that myself...just as a joking on myself, of course.
!! I am getting dressed for the "date." Argh. What to wear what to wear.
Question: Do nerdish guys think lolita clothes are cute, or just too frilly/only worn by bitches? ??
p.s. Am also considering "Thunderlizard"
ITT Complete Fabrication.
lol, I can post pics if you don't believe me.
>>48
I personally think lolita outfits are hotness, but I don't know what this guy likes. Your best bet is to probably dress casual and just gauge his interest for now. Of course if you WANT to dress up lolita style, go for it! If he doesn't like it, his loss. If he likes you, I don't think it'll matter what you wear, honestly.
>>51
Yeah, that's about it. Lolita = hotness, but he might be scared by high displays of sexiness so soon, I don't know.
I'd vote for casual for this one. Get to know him more.
1st date. Go with casual. Maybe he aint into it.
@Thunder-chan...if you're thinking Lolita...THINK AGAIN!! Just be casual...try not to stand out and just try to dress casual. Like what >>51 said, that the best bet...but also, to make a first impression, just don't try the Lolita style. Maybe...during the date...ask him if he minds you wearing something like that...
Hi guys, I just got home. Hm, not too sure to say if this went well or not...I dressed casually (well, my style, but casually) as per everyone's advice. I think it was good advice, thanks guys! :D
I also took some pics while I was in my loli outfit (that I wore today) so that you'll all know that I exist and I'm not just some 4-channer's fantasy. I suppose I'll update the thread with those later. (They don't show my face, of course, haha.)
I seem to make really long posts, sorry. OTL
So...I took him to a sushi restaurant, because I love sushi - I mean, really. It's a surprise I don't have mercury poisoning. He's from down South and so he admitted to not having had much sushi, but it was right near his apartment, and he said he was really into trying new things. He let me order whatever I liked, and he said, "I'm sure I'll like it."
Oh! When we were walking to dinner, he brought up that he was once seeing a girl in the area - once implying not anymore, and facebook says he's single, but I was so jealous! You don't bring up other girls to someone you might like, do you? At this point I thought maybe I was the fun weird girl again. I made him laugh, some...so at least he would like me as a friend...but, seeing as how horribly attracted I am to him, I feel like that would be pretty painful. (Like all you friendzoned guys out there)
We talked, a lot. Conversation was surprisingly easy, but he also is the type to talk to complete strangers (so am I). This is a bad gauge for liking people.
Also, like someone here pointed out, I'm overenthusiastic.
Him: I love spicy food.
Me: Oh my god, I love spicy food, too!!!
Him: (clearly making fun of me) we have everything in common. -smirk-
Me: ...hahaha... ._.
I also mentioned how I used to be really shy in high school, and I had no friends, and one day I just decided that I was sick of it and I made myself become outgoing.
Him: ...that's funny, me too.
(Which gives me HOPE.)
And then later, he repeated, "That's so funny, that you were like that, too..."
Um, so he's really cool. And really good-looking. And really, really smart. All of these factors combined = 2 1337 4 m3.
but...I think, with you guys' support, I'm going to try and go for it anyway. I mean, worst case scenario I get rejected, right? Like >>46 said.
Also, he really really wanted to get drunk with me, but I have school tomorrow so I turned him down. Hopefully, this means I have an excuse to see him again...
Oh! One part of conversation bothered me, though. He jokingly called someone my girlfriend:
Me: Oh! Don't worry, I don't have a girlfriend! In fact, I'm very, very single. (hint, hint. I mentioned seeing a boy before, once, so that he knows I like boys, too)
HIM: I think everyone in college is very, very single.
Me: Oh?
Him: Yeah, I don't think you can date in college...
Me: Oh...
(internally: Crusher is CRUSHED.) <---sorry, had to use that nickname one last time.
But maybe I can convince him? I really want to WIN him, you guys. I'm really infatuated with him, even though my chance is slim.
That's it for tonight.
--THUNDER OUT
>>55
From his comments sounds like he's not too interested, or he hasn't realized your intentions. It sounds like he had a good time though, at least, which is good. I would avoid getting drunk, that could cause problems...a drink or two would probably be OK if you need courage, but I wouldn't get drunk so you lose control, ESPECIALLY around a guy you're interested in!
Possible suggestion - When you see him tomorrow, try bringing up that you really enjoyed his company and would love to go out on a date again sometime, maybe even suggest a time/place. If you mention the word 'date' it pretty much confesses your interest/intentions without being 'OMG I R LOVES J00!!'. If he doesn't react positively to that you can at least save face by changing it to 'go out as friends'.
The situation sounds like borderline friendzone though, so probably best to make your intentions known before it's too late. I could be wrong though, I've never had a relationship myself [lol friendzone'd MANY times] so take my advice with a grain of salt.
Good luck, and keep us updated!!
I think this guy has something for you. If he's 'shy' like you, maybe he didnt know how to show interest. Thats why he really wanted to drink with you, because alcohol makes you lose your inhibitions. Or he wanted to get u wasted and get in your drunken pants.
Either way dont give up!
OP get a trip code. Fake or not, this thread is quite good for killing time. I think we need a resident ASCII artist here.
Seems like a good date eh?
>>55
He seems like opening up to you which normally indicates that he is interested. Good job at keeping him talking and not having those weird pauses(if you didn't have em). One question: How was he responding to your questions? I mean what did he sounded like. Did he spoke softly like when he said "Yeah, i don't think you can date in college..."?(or for the other answers that he gave for that matter)
How dare you say your chances are slim! Going out with him is the first of many milestones. Don't give up! Chui koi!("chase him" in cantonese)
Okay, so. Here are PICS to prove I exist.
http://img404.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bigpiccy010copyca4.jpg
http://img204.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bigpiccy011rq2.jpg
http://img404.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bigpiccy012copyhh6.jpg
so, you see, a girl like me (who likes internet, and is into weird things) exists. And thanks to this BBS, I now know that there are many guys out there who would like a weird girl like me! I hope we've all given each other hope and, if this guy doesn't work out, maybe I'll be giving you guys a call. LOL. (´-`)
I got a tripcode. I have different ID's all over this thread because I post from school's wireless, which has different IP's all over campus.
>>56 I found wanting to get drunk encouraging, kind of. Like, do guys get drunk so that they can make a move? I know when I'm drunk, I'm super-affectionate. When I was chasing my best friend I really wanted to get drunk with him so I could be lovey and have an excuse the next day. (It worked, like, I did lovey things, but in the end, he still said, 'I'm sorry, I don't see you that way.' -_-")
>>57 I'm also kind of afraid that he just wants to use me for sex. As you can see from the pics, I'm on the chubby side but not too overweight, and the kind that a guy probably could just sexxx0r without thinking about. I'm a virgin, though, so LOL, not gonna happen.
@Superman - lol, now I'm imagining Superman going "gah yau, gah yau!" (add gas) while pumping his fist in the air for me. That is really encouraging! (￣ｰ￣)
No weird pauses. I got nervous, though, like, trying to eat and talk at the same time. I was so nervous I wasn't even very hungry and we had a lot of sushi left over. I asked him if he wanted any more, and he said, "No, it's all yours!"
Me: Oh, hahaha...maybe I will have a little more.
Him: (fake serious look) Of course I'm judging you by how much you eat.
Me:......... -eats one more piece, puts chopsticks down-
Most of the time he said things in a very matter-of-fact tone. (Like, this is my opinion, but it might as well be fact.) Usually I can kind of tell when guys are flirting (?? maybe?) but I could not read him at all. I think I'm probably blinded by how much I like him.
Mostly I think his tone was cynical...
Oh! I don't go to school with him, but we discussed maybe doing something this weekend. I'll probably call him or text him in a day or two.
This is getting long, huh. Sorry, guys.
Oh, >>56, I'm too afraid that using the word "date" straightaway will scare him off (Worst case scenario: This weird girl likes me, she might be a creepy stalker! -runs away-) We don't go to school together, but it's not much hassle for me to go out to his area. In fact, we kept on saying how easy it would be for us to hang out and he emphasised that he would be in the area for summer.
ok, question time: What makes a date a date? One of my guy friends says that any time a guy goes out to spent time with a girl one-on-one, without a previously established friendship, it's a date. I always thought that if the boy paid for you, it's a date, or if he at least offered to pay.
He didn't offer. We split the bill. But I don't like guys paying for me, anyway, it makes me uncomfortable...
Also, is friendzone possible for girls? (I know I have experienced it, but) I've been reading on this board that a guy wouldn't be friends with a girl he wasn't at least somewhat attracted to...is this true?
I would say that using the word date won't scare him off, as while it does show your intent some, there's still the fact that going on a date doesn't actually mean anything binding, really. I'd say that you're fairly safe on being not considered a creepy stalker.
That said, I personally think that the friendzone is possible, but not really all that likely, for girls. There are a few girls I know who I would never consider dating that I hang out with, but for the most part, I do tend to meet my female friends because I was attracted to them in the first place.
P.S.- You're totally awesome for what thread you were reading during those pictures :P
well, we are all rooting for you, Yoshiya. -smiles- just remember to come back and tell us how it went, eh?
>Okay, so. Here are PICS to prove I exist.
（ °∀°）
>do guys get drunk so that they can make a move?
YES. Definately yes.
Which is a terrible thing because if anything happens, you'll wonder if it was alcohol speaking or not. But this can also be used as a lame excuse if anything went wrong. Oh double-edged sword.
>I think I'm probably blinded by how much I like him.
That's probable. He might also be the kind of guy that's hard to read. Some people are like that. I know I am. And that I'm inexorably attracted to girls that are the same. Of course this leads to many awkward situations. Like dropping hints like madness (a thing I usually don't do) and being persuaded that everyone around me got where I was going, but in the end NO ONE suspected anything. "You hide your game well", told me one friend. Which really was the one who should have realized it first. Of course even the girlie didn't get it. Duh.
>Also, is friendzone possible for girls?
Yes it's possible. But not for the majority.
>What makes a date a date?
Depends on people and culture, I guess. For me, it's when a girl and a boy spend time together one-on-one, and that at the end of it things between them go "level up!" (that doesn't imply anything sexual or even a kiss - just that the relation between them both closes up a bit).
----
That's it for the answers. Now, as I see it: he likes you. He likes hanging around you, and if you're really "weird" like you say, you might be some kind of "rare species". Rare + liked = prizable, if you see what I mean. Now just you try and grow on him!
The idea is not suffocating him by being always around (this is one of the things that makes guys run away), but still somehow pressuring him. Think fishing, it's the same process. Pull too hard and you break the line; leave too much room and it slips away.
Find a way, however you propose it, to get another date. You have to get it soon, but not too close to the first (ie, as soon as possible decide on a "date" next week or so). And each time you have this kind of one-on-one situation, your objective is that at the end he likes you "a bit more", to the point (let's hope it happens) things get flirtarious and such.
He seems a cool guy. Best luck to you Thunder-chan!
>>60
Hihi, #56 here.
First off, love the pics. Lolita still = hotness, and it fits you well. Also,
>I'm a virgin, though, so LOL, not gonna happen.
You win so much for this. I'd totally give you my # if it doesn't work out.
Anyway!~
I only recommend against getting drunk because as you mentioned you were worried he might just want to use you for sex (which also makes me a bit concerned that he might not be a good guy to pursue if he makes you feel that way). #64 also mentioned another reason why alcohol isn't so good for confessions. If you have a good amount of self control tho like it sounds you do, then go for it if you think it'd help--just be careful!! ;o;
As for mentioning the term 'date', I've heard from friends that unless you specifically say the word date, it's not. That seems to be my experience as well, as I've gone out with female friends in completely platonic situations many times. This also answers your friendzone question...a lot of my friends back home (I'm in college, master's degree in game design, etc.) are girls, they have boyfriends but we're still really good friends. One of my female coworkers I used to frequently go to lunch with, and it was all friends-only. Same with my former roommate who was a girl, she was taken and I never thought of her as more than anything but a close friend.
Overall, if he likes you, mentioning the word 'date' will not scare him off, but he'll be totally in to the idea. If he's not in to you, then it might scare him off, but if he wasn't in to you to begin with, then.. D: [Not offering to pay isn't a good sign, IMHO. ]
Bottom line: It's really a judgment call on your part. We don't really know what he's thinking [If only it were that easy, right?], so I imagine you have two choices- either go for the straight out asking for a date/getting drunk and confessing, or just stay friends and slowly try to win him over (well, or doing nothing, but that's no good!) As a guy, the latter seems to typically fail, but if you get a good feeling about making progress, feel free to give it a try. Either way, we're all rooting for your success!
Thunder, I hate you because I want you.
In a fire with you.
Burn.
off topic; this topic breathes some nice life in 4-ch. Continue!
>[Not offering to pay isn't a good sign, IMHO. ]
Don't know. I know for some first "dates" which I wanted to come as casual and not "too strong", I didn't propose to pay (or just acted like it was a mutual agreement to share without even lifting the case) - either because I shyed out or because I, well, wanted to take my time.
-laughs- you guys are all confusing me now. I've been trying to think about ways to ask "do you want to go out on a date with me" but I can bet you all right now, it's going to sound like, "wannagodawime" aufjfjlfdfkk;
Hmm...we're supposed to hang out this weekend (no specifics set), and maybe I'll muster up the courage to say that word, "date," but. erm. don't want him to be scared away. (Some guys are afraid of commitment!)
Our hangout this weekend supposedly includes one of my best best friends. (He's a guy, but he's obviously gay.) I feel like Hermes...bringing a friend along to see how he measures up. (Okay, no more densha ref, but my friends are very important to me!) He didn't suggest that I bring the friend, I did...am I shooting myself in the foot?
I have more to say on date vs. not but I write too much, already. Thank you everybody for your input, trust me, I am listening!
>>66, one word for you: HAWT.
@Thunder-chan: Do you have a closet-full of Lolita clothes?
In a way, I think that is cool because it shows your interest in whatever style you're in...but I also think it is creepy because it tells me THAT'S what you only wear (but I guess that's just a common opinion to most people).
Anyways, back to the thread. I can tell you first hand that when I was "dating" (and I mention this because we weren't really close at the time), we kept splitting the bill every time we went out. Before I continue, I can tell you that I'm from the upper-middle class (I'm not ashamed because that's where I come from) and my girlfriend is from the rural class (basically...poor). Even after we began going out, she still demanded me to split the bill. She tells me later that it's not because we're not lovers, but more likely she puts it as "WE'RE NOT MARRIED, STUPID!!" Eventually, she let me pay for most of our dates because I showed my dedication to her.
I'll clarify more...but I have to let my roommate in the dorm...brb.
sorry about that folks.
What I was trying to say is that "splitting the bill" might not always be a sign of unaffectionate attention. Sometimes, the guy might not have enough cash, so therefore he requests you pitch in...other times...he can just be a dick and not realize that he should treat the girl.
Regardless of the reason, the main focus should of been whether his tone of voice was calm and social, or you think he's putting a face. As I read your post, I basically remembered the times when I told my girlfriend "you can have the rest" (even though I was still hungry and she was weight-conscious) and I got a slap in the face. I'm not surprised though that you didn't do it this time...but if it repeats again...you think you'll retaliate?
Quite honestly though, I think it should be fine that you are worried to say the word "date." In most cases, it's the guy who should say it because us guys are supposed to take the lead. However, since you initially stated that you like to take an aggressive approach, this could be an exception (just don't force it on his face!). I believe you like to hang out with him, and that's good. My question is: do you like to hang out with him some much that sometimes you feel you only want to hang out with him, and block your friends out for that moment?
Good luck on the hangout though. Remember, you and that guy are just friends still at this point. Until either you or that guy musters the courage to say "can we go out," just imagine that you like to hang out with this guy more than anyone else.
As for >>65, STFU! We're supposed to help Thunder-chan out, not reassuring her of losing her virginity if this doesn't succeed.
Yo Thunder-chan...you're a great girl; don't forget that.
@soccerfuu9
Haha, I think a closet of only lolita is pretty creepy, too, because sometimes it's inappropriate wear, and those dresses are expensive, y0! I used to be REALLY goth, so my closet has a lot of black...I also used to wear a lot of really punk clothing (zippers, chains)...but I've mellowed out since then. Nowadays I'm still "stylish" but I like fashions that are more mainstream-appropriate. I like a lot of skirts, though...and tights/stockings...I kind of hate pants...
I didn't retaliate meanly, I just sort of laughed it off. I'm self-conscious because I'm a little on the chubby side, (NOT fat, don't worry, I'm not crazy) and he seems to have a really perfect body. Maybe next time I'll joke and try to feed him...(but that is a BIG forward move!)
I would like it if he asked me out, that would make things a lot easier! (´~`) If he doesn't, well...we'll see where this goes, I'll try to be myself and gauge his interest.
...of course I want to hang out with only him...I think I sort of panicked when I invited my friend along...(plus, he really wants to meet him...)
ah, time for this face: ＿|￣|○
@Thunder-chan: "plus, he really wants to meet him..."
I hope he ain't gay...
Anyways, for now, I guess hanging out with him like normal people is a fresh start, Thunder-chan. You have to let him know that you are a friendly person to hang out with and that you are free to let him talk about whatever and vice versa. Joking around and trying to feed him isn't a "dating" move in my book...it's just for fun. It's only a "dating" move if you start calling him "honey" or some random shit.
Where do you buy your clothes in HK? High-end department stores?
Oh...and for future posts, maybe you should post pics of yourself in other clothing (though I'm pretty sure some of the Lolita fans here will bang their heads).
Have fun with it Thunder-chan...you're doing fine. And don't make that face!! Be :)
