( LΦ`) Well, we'll need this thread eventually.
(EΝE) 2GETing for later use!
( LΦ`) Junior, I come from the futior.
(EΝE) It's almost time!
( LΦ`) Who was the bastard that gave me CPR? I was busy boning Mohammed's virgins.
(EΝE) You mean Mohammed never...
( EΦE) I'm sorry.
( LΦ`) Nope. He said they were annoying.
( ί ί) I gave you CPR, Gramps!
( LΦ`) I didn't ask about your emergency mittens, idiot.
( EΦE) Crikey you're cranky, I shan't revive you again you ungrateful old coot.
( E-E) You asked what hell was. You should already know. You're in it, after all.
( E-E) In hell they burn mittens.
|( LΦ`) Okay, if you're not even going to try to make a proper Grandpa thread out of this one, I'm leaving.
|Φ` ) Hey, alcohol, how's it hangin'?
|c
( ί ί)
( E-E) Don't you know, Grandpa? In hell there's only watered down Milwaukee beer to drink.
>>19
Does it live in your bladder for months/years?
( LΦ`) Junure, I come from the future.
(EΝE) Grandpa, are we caughtin a time loop, doomed to repeat ourselves over and over again?
(E⌢E) How the hell should I know? This is your thread.
(EΝE) Oh, it's Mini-me... I think?
@@@@@@@@@(LΦ` ) "his throbbing member then entered her core"
@@@@@@ .QΣ@@Ό)
@@@@@^U^O^ ^|
@@@@@|PPPPP|@.|
@@@@@| Grandpa@ |^
@@@@@@@@@(LΦ` ) Oh shi- I forgot to handle the null pointer exception
@@@@@@ .QΣ@@Ό)
@@@@@^U^O^ ^|
@@@@@|PPPPP|@.|
@@@@@| Grandpa@ |^
@@@@@@@@@(LΦ` ) Oh shi- I forgot to handle the null pointer exception
@@@@@@ .QΣ@@Ό)
@@@@@^U^O^ ^|
@@@@@|PPPPP|@.|
@@@@@| Grandpa@ |^
@@@@@@@@@(LΦ` ) Oh shi- I forgot to handle the null pointer exception
@@@@@@ .QΣ@@Ό)
@@@@@^U^O^ ^|
@@@@@|PPPPP|@.|
@@@@@| Grandpa@ |^
( E-E) Yes, you make everything look good by comparison.
( LΦ`) Who the hell let you in here anyway?
( LΦ`) Well, at least you're not craptastic like clonepa.
( LΦ`) But you still need to GTFO.
(EΝE) ***shudder*** gramps and slang... ***shudder***
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was slang like in your day?
( LΦ`) I remember the times when I'd get on my fliver and ride the sunset while chugging giggle water. It's was the bees-knees.
(EΝE) ...
(EΝE) I liked Bligwig more than Fliver.
(EΝE) Silflay hraka, Grandpa!
( LΦ`) Your French is awful, Junior. You should say "S'il vous plait."
(EΝE) I can't say you have a good english either.
( LΦ`) you shut yer yap
( ίΫί) What's with all these odd-balls in my thread, Junior-sama?!
(Π` ΦL) I'm not sure grandpa-chan, but they're starting to freak me out
(EΝE) Let's see if I can fit in...
(EΝE) KAWAII NEKO-CHAN IS ME!!!!
( E-E) You were probably aware that you were in hell by the continued presence of Clonepa, but these characters here are just to remove any doubts you may have had.
(EΝE) ...
(EΝE) Security Kitteeeen!
Π*L°MΠ Okay, nya. You guys don't belonge here and gotta go.
(Π` ΦL) That's okay Kitten we're fine where we are.
( ίΫί) Yeah! fine where we are Kitten-face!
Π*L°MΠ Alright then, nya.
( LΦ`) Junior, my shotgun. We have trespassers in the house.
(EΝE) NURUPO!
@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@YρρO)
@@@(@LΦ`) ,@@< Ok, that's it. Now it's time to take YOUR alzheimer's medication!
@@@(½kρρ):::;:::;:::;;=
@@^ ^_½X@
@i_Qj@@(Qj@@@@
( E-E) Of course he would suck. He's meant to annoy you.
( LΦ`) Thank God, Junior.
(EΝE) Sheesh, Gramps, why do you have to be such an asshole? I love Natumi more than Mittens!
( ί -ί) ...
(;EΝE) Sorry about that.
( `ΝL) Hahahahaha!!!!!
(EΝE) It's McEvilpants!!! Get him, Grandpa!
( ί ί) Evil!
( `ΝL) Hahahahaha!!!!!
( LΦ`).....
( LΦ`) Junior, since when were you Chinese?
<EΝE> Grandpa, are you feeling okay nida?
( LΦ`) That bottle of 87 proof whiskey must be catching up with me. Better go grab another.
(EΝE) Don't fall into Evil's trap!!!
( LΦ`) That's not a question.
(EΝE) Press the A button to jump!!!!
( LΦ`) Kids these days. You got two perfectly good legs, no need to jumpstart machines.
(EΝE) Gramps, you moron. We're stuck inside 4-ch: The Game!
( LΦ`) "..."
( ί ί) Oooh! I have big boobs now!
( ί ί) ...BOOBIES!
(EΝE) No, mittens, you don't.
( ί ί)
( ί -ί)...
( ί ί) I still have hands! I can put mittens on them!
( LΦ`) That's the spirit.
( E-E) As you can see, every Grandpa thread brings us all closer to complete and total insanity.
( ί ί) I dont think I can do a barrel roll with these mittens on, how do I do that?
( LΦ`) Get in the barrel, Jew!
Π*ί°ί) Freedom!
( EΦE) FREEDOM? OR FREE DOOM?!?
( LΦ`) couuugghhhh
( xΦx)
( ί ί) Grandpa, are you sleeping?
( ί -ί) .....
( ί ί) Mittens!
(EAE) Grandpaaaaaa!!!!!
( EΦE) Who's your grandaddy now, bitches?
( LΦ`) Yes?
TIME PARADOX
Get the hell out of my thread! @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@,`'
@@YρρO)KPROW! ~(ά@)@@@@@@@.'.'';''; @@Sζ
@@@(@LΦ`) ,@@@~(ά^@@)@@sthiip/^ζ@@/^ζ¦
@@c(½kρρ):::;:::;:::;;=α[[[[(EΦE )αc¦'`;'
@@^ ^_½X@@@(_@@)@@@@@_SζsthipS@_Sζ'`;'
@i_Qj@@(Qj@@@@c( @@)@@@@@@@@
S@`,@@,'S@',,
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ;''; @ Sζ@ @
( EΦE) I feel slightly hurt by your hostility.
( LΦ`) I'll write that down.
( LΦ`)?
( LΦ`) Damn fonts, that was supposed to be a pencil.
(EΝE) It's one of those bending gag pencils, Grandpa.
@@ @~@ΪQj
@@ @ @@ ./
@@@@@@/QΘ
@@@@@ /,,LΦ`jI'll show you gags!!!
@ ^^ Ζ@@@@j@ @ |@|@Άή―
@@@@@@ x@/m@@@ l @@@Άή―
@@@@@@Δ /@j@@ < @>_ΘΏ@@Άή―
@@@@@ Q/΅'@^^.u EAEj/
@@@@@iQtc@@@@@@@/
(EAE) I don't get it.
( LΦ`) Do I have to explode on you?
( ί ί) Explode!
( E-E) I wonder how long it will be until Grandpa's mind has completely degenerated.
SHUT THE HELL UP!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@,`'
@@YρρO)KPROW! ~(ά@)@@@@@@@.'.'';''; @@Sζ
@@@(@LΦ`) ,@@@~(ά^@@)@@sthiip/^ζ@@/^ζ¦
@@c(½kρρ):::;:::;:::;;=α[[[[( E-E)αc¦'`;'
@@^ ^_½X@@@(_@@)@@@@@_SζsthipS@_Sζ'`;'
@i_Qj@@(Qj@@@@c( @@)@@@@@@@@S@`,@@,'S@',,
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ;''; @ Sζ@ @
( E-E) The rate of degeneration is quicker then I had expected.
( E-E) , Oh, and 100GET.
GO AWAY!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@,`'
@@YρρO)KPROW! ~(ά@)@@@@@@@.'.'';''; @@Sζ
@@@(@LΦ`) ,@@@~(ά^@@)@@sthiip/^ζ@@/^ζ¦
@@c(½kρρ):::;:::;:::;;=α[[[[( E-E)αc¦'`;'
@@^ ^_½X@@@(_@@)@@@@@_SζsthipS@_Sζ'`;'
@i_Qj@@(Qj@@@@c( @@)@@@@@@@@S@`,@@,'S@',,
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ;''; @ Sζ@ @
( E-E) At this rate, he will be completely insane before the end of this thread.
(@LΦ`) I've been completely insane since thread 1.
( EΦE) He's now Zombiepa. His brain is rotting after his brush with death,
( E-E) We're not talking "Well-thought out plans I'm-only-considered-insane-because-I-have-no-limits" type insanity. We're talking "gibbelsig a barnacle beam junior, tiddly biddly biddly" insanity.
(@LΦ`) Shut yer tiddly biddly, Gibbelsig.
WHO'RE YOU CALLING ZOMBIEPA?!
@@YρρO)KPROW! ~(ά@)@@@@@@@.'.'';''; @@Sζ
@@@(@LΦ`) ,@@@~(ά^@@)@@sthiip/^ζ@@/^ζ¦
@@c(½kρρ):::;:::;:::;;=α[[[[( EΦE)αc¦'`;'
@@^ ^_½X@@@(_@@)@@@@@_SζsthipS@_Sζ'`;'
@i_Qj@@(Qj@@@@c( @@)@@@@@@@@S@`,@@,'S@',,
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ;''; @ Sζ@
( EΦE) He gets crankier and crankier by the hour. BTW that birdshot is a pain in the ass.
( LΦ`) And so concludes my lesson on shitty threads. Any questions, Junior?
(EΝE) I love you, grandpa.
( E-E) ...andpa, it's time to wake up...
( E-E) GRANDPA!
( E-E) Ah, you're awake at last. I thought you'd never get up.
( E-E) WAKE UP GRANDPA
( E-E) YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN
( E-E) Of course. I'm not going to convince him of anything at the moment. He's asleep and clearly can't hear me.
( E-E) Grandpa sure talks a lot in his sleep.
@@YρρO)KPROW! ~(ά@)@@@@@@@.'.'';''; @@Sζ
@@@(@LΦ`) ,@@@~(ά^@@)@@sthiip/^ζ@@/^ζ¦
@@c(½kρρ):::;:::;:::;;=α[[[[( LΦ)αc¦'
;'
@@^ ^_½X@@@(_@@)@@@@@_SζsthipS@_Sζ'`;'
@i_Qj@@(Qj@@@@c( @@)@@@@@@@@S@`,@@,'S@',,
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ;''; @ Sζ@
( LΦ`) Understand, Junior?
( E-E) Junior, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Grandpa's gone to the Big Sleep.
(EΝE) Grandpa, how come Mom said you were good in bed? Are you good at sleeping?
( E-E) Grandpa, what's your training scheme?
( LΦ`) Well, I start with 2000 Hindu squats. I might tell you the rest if you can do 500 of them.
(EΝE) Grandpa, which Pokemon do you like the most? I like my level 42 Charizard.
>>138
(EΝE) That's nothing, grandpa. I can do 1000 Hispanic squats.
( LΦ`) I wasn't telling you to do the squats, Junior.
( E-E) ...495, 496, 4-9-7, 4----
( x-x)
( LΦ`) Shame, I was looking forward to revealing my training scheme.
( E-E) O.K, now 498... 499... 500... Done. Now for the rest of that scheme?
( E-E) Grandpa, why the hell are you making me do situps when you can give me the scheme NOW?
(EΝE) Dude, shut the fuck up.
( E-E) Ok, here goes...1...2...3...
( LΦ`) Junior, I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap! Such dirty language!
(`EΝE) FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
( E-E) 132... 133... 134...
( E-E) Junior, just stop. You're not intelligent enough to be edgy.
( E-E) 135...136...137-
( x-x) COOOOUGHHHHH
( E-E) Oh lord, that hurt.
( E-E) 138... 139... 140...
( LΦ`) Count properly! You skipped everything between 3 and 132.
I'm sorry Junior, but I asked for exhaustation, not exhaustation.
( LΦ`) Who the hell said that?
i OΦOj I did!
( LΦ`) You're that fat retard's grandpa, aren't you...
i OΦOj Yeah, I am.
(£ίDί)£ WHO are you calling a fat retard?
i OΦOj Don't say such bad words! You damn kids these days!
( E-E) Thanks for the advice, Gra-
( x-x)
( E-E) Crap, only have one life left. Gonna have to use this one we-
( x-x)
( LΦ`) Good riddance.
( E-E) Thanks for the advice, Gra-
( x-x)
( E-E) Crap, only have one life left. Gonna have to use this one we-
( x-x)
( LΦ`) Good riddance.
(£ίDί)£ WHY do you mess up the space-time continuum by jumping 5 seconds back in time?
(EΝE) Grandpa, why are all these Z-list characters taking over your thread?
( LΦ`) Junior, can you do the San Fran thrusts?
(EΝE) ... yes.
( LΦ`) I want to see 500 them, now!
(EΝ(£ίDί)£ WHAT ARE YOU DOING! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
( LΦ`) Those are more like San Diego thrusts. Twist your wrists some more!
( E-E) Grandpa, where can I continue my training?
( LΦ`) Well, you could go to
( ○Φ○) WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR
( E-E) Granpa, do you know of Chopin's Etudes?
( LΦ`) Chopin's nudes? No thanks.
(EΝ( ί ί) Wheeee!
(EΝE) Grandpa, isn't the "ITT we solve the question above us" thread exactly the same as this thread, only without us?
( LΦ`) Sort of, but it isn't as awesome.
(LΦ` ) Aaaand it's time for me to go to the bar.
||
||
|| Θ_Θ
||(LΦ` ) Sure is a nice bar, alright.
( LΦ`) ughghhghghJUNIORRRRR I NEED MY MEDDSSSSSSSS, GIBBLESIG!!!
@@@@@|
@@@‘©’
@@^|PPP|@@^|PPP|
@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@@@@(LΦ` ) yeah, get the pills NOW!
@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@@@@i^j
@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@@@@i^j
@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@@@@i^j
@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@|..::|::::::::::::::::|@@@@@@
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
(EΝE) Grandpa, are you feeling ok? You look like you might be hallucinattttTTTTIITIIIIIII
WOB WOB WOB ~~~(~EΝE~) WOB WOB WOB (EΝE) DODODododo...YOUYOUyouyou....NEEDNEEDNEEDneedneed....YOURYOURYOURyour....MEDSMEDSmedsmeds?
(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(E=E)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EuE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(E-E)(E,E)(EΝE)###)9-205
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream!
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
( LΦ`) ...guess I really do need my pillslslssllsll
is it just me or are you bitches gaining skilz?
( LΦ`) I'm hearing voices. Pills please!
(EΝE)Β- Here you go.
( LΦ`) Hey, this tastes like rat poison.
( LO`)ζm
( LΦ`) -Gulp!-
( LΦ`) ...
(;;LΦ`) Junior, are you sure these are the right pills?
(EΝE) You fool! You just ate tanasiζζζζ
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream where I ate
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_ tanasinn!
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@
@@@@@@@@`````````````
( LΦζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζ
( LΦ`) ...
( LΦ`) What the hell was that all about?
(EΝE) I guess you're already tanasinn.
(ζLΦ`) Heh, now that crapass can get a taste of my
fqζ`mζcoζ`rζhmζm!
( E-E) It has finally happened. Reality as we know it has completely collapsed into random chaos. We shall now see if what is said is true - "Out of chaos comes order".
(EΦE) It's not, I could've told you thaζζζζζ
(EΝE) Hey Clonepa, while you're here, how do I get past you in this game? http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1172764434/l50
( LΦ`) You're best off finding out yourseζζζζζ
(EΦE) Let's fight...TO THE DEATH.
(ζLΦ`) I'll beat you...
(EΝE) Grandpa! Hζζζζζζζζ
(EΝζ
(ζLΦ`) Damn it, Junior, be careful around the tanasinn!
( E-E) 200GET for stability!
(ζΝζ) ζeζζa ζinζdζ
(ζLΦ`) So, what do we do about him?
(EΦE) Eh, he'll get used to the whole eternal suffering thing eventually.
(EΝE) How many times are we going to do this before the tanasinn consumes us all?
( LΦ`) Well, I'm done...
( E-E) Has order arisen from the chaos?
( LΦ`) Chaos and order cannot be defined and therefore it is impossible to tell if order has arisen from chaos or vice-versa.
(EΝE) Fnord?
( LΦ`) No thanks.
(EΝE;) OH GOD IT'S BAζζζζζNASSIN
(EΝE) Oh ..phew.. it's gone.
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream where I became
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_ tanasinn!
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream where I had this weird dream that I became
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_ tanasinn!
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@iζLΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream where I wasn't
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_ tanasinn anymore!
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream where I had a weird dream about becoming
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_ tanasinn, and then I woke up again and said
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^ I had a dream that I WASN'T tanasinn!
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
(EΝE) GROMBLAG, YEB UX UX UX SLORPADIG SLAMBOOLEE A GIBBELSIG?
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@iζLΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream where the word
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_ tanasinn didn't exist!
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@@`````````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i LΦ`j@@Junior, I just had this weird dream where I said
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_ I had a dream where the word "tanasinn
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^didn't exist!
(EΝE) Stop sleeping, Grandpa! I just got engaged to Mittens!
( ί ί) WEDDINGS!
(EΝE) But Grandpa, you've got to be there!
( @L@Φ@`@)
i LΦ`j Who the hell are you?
( @L@Φ@`@) I'm Inflatepa.
( ί ί) Will you come to my wedding?
i LΦ`jW-what?
( LΦ`) Okay! When does the thread start?
( ί ί) When you give us the funding to create it.
( ί ί) Well you see... Grandpa, you are my father.
(EΦE) oO( Marriage? With a 6 years old?
(EΦE) ...and I~ helped!
Π*ί°ί) Just hand over the money, and no one will get hurt!
( ί ί) ...We really were going to get married!
( ί ί) WEDDINGS!
(EΝE) There's plenty of white mittens in your "mittens" drawer.
(EΝE) Shut up, Grandpa. I love her.
( ί ί) ...WHITE MITTENS!
( ί ί) Do you like them, Junior?
(EΝE) Well, Natumi and Darkpa and BU-N and George and Oppai-Oppai and...
(EΝE) of all the Deus ex Machina we've used, this ranks at the bottom.
( E-E) I haven't touched her.
( LΦ`) Don't worry, Junior. If I've learned anything in my long life, it's that no matter how far you sink, there are always greater depths to plumb.
( LΦ`) Let's fight to the death to see which pa is better!
i@MnLj I've waited for this day my whole life...
(EΝE) GEMU...SUTATO!!!!!
( LΦ`) Nice Engrish, Junior.
( E-E) WELCOME BACK TO THE STAGE OF HISTORY
..@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@(nL ,,)Β
@ΘQ@l¨@@(Β@
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@RΒ@smackoI΅~@
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( LΦ#) No fair! I was distracted!
( LΦ`) Because it's a legendary thread.
& ...?
( LΦ`) Because you're small and ugly.
@@i LΦ`j
@ @Ώ
( EΝE)c@<€MΝL>
(>A<) What did you do with Grandpa, Nida!?
@@i LΦ`j Up here, Junior.
@ @Ώ
( `)c@<€MΝL>
( `) THE MASK TALKS?!?!??
<€MΝL> interesting `nida
( E-E) ROUND 2... FIGHT!!
( EΝE) Wait, so who won the first round?
( LΦ`) I did, of course.
i@MnLj Lies. I was clearly the victor.
( EΝE) Grandpa, why aren't they moving? This is kind of boring.
( LΦ`) Action shots.
(EΝE) Why don't you do an action shot, Grandpa?
(EΝE) Great! I thought you were only a head.
( LΦ`) I'm always ahead.
(EΝE) Grandpa, I am a spy who is triple-crossing the American, Chinese, Russian, and Japanese governments, armed with several nuclear warheads and suicide martyrs fully capable of taking out the very framework of these countries alone within seconds. That alone is only the front of a hidden plan, as I have ulterior motives as to why I'm maniuplating world affairs and several headstrong powers within the U.N. as well as other underground organizations and committees.
(EΝE) So anyway Grandpa, I was wondering if you had any cool stories similar to mine?
( LΦ`) I accidentally started WWI. There I was, sipping coffee at a nice Sarajevo Starbucks when my eyes spied this splendid carriage entering the street. Twas that pompous ass Archduke Ferdinand. A fidgety looking fella the next table over began rooting in his bag and I figured must be a bomb or something since every hates that pompous ass Archduke Ferdinand. So I bellowed 'Mein gott! Bomben und granaten, Kapitän Haddock! Gott straffe England! Achtung!' Well, the carriage stopped and began backing out. While everybody else dived for cover at my commanding voice the fidgety fella began running away from me towards that pompous ass Archduke Ferdinand. With shaky hands I drew my Colt .45 and tried to put some lead poison in the villain's crooked back. Sadly I missed and hit that pompous ass Archduke Ferdinand instead. I noticed the true villain had stopped and quickly tackled him, dispensing of the incriminating evidence by surreptiously slipping my gun into his coat pocket. Thus, due to my overexcited youthful disposition I would be the cause of WWI and ultimately WW2. For good measure we can add the Cold War.
( LΦ`) So, Junior, I walked the walk, you can only do the talk.
( LΦ`)Β Oh yes, I also got this medal for apprehending the villain singlehandedly.
(EΝE)Β That's nothing! Take a look at this medaζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζ( LΦ`)ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζI have attained a level beyond tanasinn.ζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ
( LΦ`)Β Damn, my medal turned into tanaζζζζζζζ
( E-E) GRANDPA WINS
@@i LΦ`j
@ @Ώ
( EΝE)c@i@MnLjWas there ever any doubt?
( E-E) DARKPA WINS
@@@ @@ΘQΘ
@@@@@i LΦ` j @Who wants cock for dinnerH
@@@@ /ά@@ MR
@@@@/@/@@@ Ι._QM
@@@ (@/R@@@|_Q__Ej
@@@@_ /@@@|@ @@@@
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@@@@ @(@ )@) @@@@@@@@@
@@@@@ |@|@/
@@@@@ |@|@|.
(EΝE) Why does it look like you're still holding the top of a bag, Grandpa?
( E-E) CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER
( LΦ) junior quicj gte ( LΦ
)fire pantce junior jujnior JUNIROOO
( E-E) I'm sorry Junior but Grandpa has been a gibbering retard the whole time.
(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)(EΝE)WOBWOB(v-ΝE)(EaE)(EAE)(EmΝmE)
( LΦ`) I need the pillsNOW JBGIAKGKEOSTJAS GIBBELSIG
(EΦE) Sorry, I pushed the red button again.
(EΝE) ...again?!
(EΦE) I said I was sorry.
( LΦ`) Idiot.
( E-E) And chaos returns to order once again.
( ά-ά) Hey grandpa, I sold all your alchohol to teenagers for massively inflated prices.
(EΦE) I'm gonna go get a taco.
|ΦE) Bye!
|c
|ΦE) ...can I borrow a dollar?
|ΦE)
|nLj
|ΝE)
|Φ`)
|c
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@@ΘQΘ@@
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| < (he's pressing buttons again grandpa)
| < (I don't care, Junior. Go get me some pretzels.)
( LΦ`) fjaifjajgiajiI TAKE NO GROMBLAG PILLS FIREPANCEFIREPANCE
| Θ
|@₯ิΦ₯ิ) Who are you and what the hell are you doing in my practice?
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
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@@ΘQΘ@@
@@(=( E-E))@D-doctor!
@@/.@V@Κ
@@(|___:|__|)
@@ (___)Q)
| Θ
|@₯ิΦ₯ิ) Listen up you beady-eyed weirdo, if you don't get out now I'm calling security!
|.@V@Κ
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
( LΦ`) It was a hell of a lot quieter around here, that's for damn sure.
@@Φ-Ν
@ Π*L°MΠ Hey, that's my thing nya.
`(,_Ι
(EΝE) THERE'S A BOMB
@@ΘQΘ@@
@@(=( E-E))@Don't worry, it's all a part of my gag. It'll be clear soon enough.
@@/.@V@Κ@Anyway, good to see you back.
@@(|___:|__|)
@@ (___)Q)
Does giving prosthetic head feel like giving real head?
( LΦ`) Yes. Although it doesn't feel real.
( LΦ`) On the other hand, my wife never had a vibrational speed control knob on the back of her head.
(EΝE) Where was it located then?
( LΦ`) It was an external unit, Junior. Back in our day, they were so big that we needed a separate room in the house just to store one.
( LΦ`) GIBBELSIG LIGER FIREPANCE JUNIOR JUNIOOOOOOOOR
(EΝE) Grandpa, did you realize that next thread our power level will be OVER 9000?
( LΦ`) Stop reading 4chan, Junior.
(LΦ`) In fact, that goes for all of you.
(EΝE) Grandpa, how do you know it's from 4chan?
( LΦ`) It's got that 4chan stench, Junior.
( ά-ά) Oh don't mind me, my evil farts don't stink that much.
( LΦLΦ`) tiddly biddly biddelsig gibbely firepance pills JUNIOR JUNIOR JUNIROOOOOOO JUNIOR HELP PILSL
(EAE) It's getting out of hand!
( LΦ`) Just put it on top of the roomba and let it go clean the kitchen floor.
( LΦLΦ`) JUNIOROROROOROROROO
( LΦLΦ`)
( ά-ά)
(EAE) Nothin's happening.
( Φ
) How do I look, Junior?
(EΝE) Put your eyes back on!
L(Φ)` Thos' pills 're strong... or they don't mix with th' beer ..
Φ Ah...
(EΝE) Grandpa?!
(EΝE) ...
R(EΝE)m kintana kintana
@< Φ ^@@J...junior?
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@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ί@@
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@What the hell just happened?
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
( LΦ`) It lacked Tanasinn.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the wheel?
( LΦ`) We had to lubricate heavy loads with the blood of slaves if we wanted to shove 'em anywhere.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the pocket calculator?
( LΦ`) I memorized log tables.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the defeat of Ottoman Sultan Bayezid I at the hands of 14th Century Mongol leader Tamerlane?
( LΦ`) It was very lively in the Balkans. Wouldn't be that lively again until that fateful day I was sipping a frappucino in Sarajevo.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before multicellular organisms arose?
( LΦ`) It was a fierce paramecium vs amoeba death match from which only the most cunning could survive. None of us had brains in those days, though, so cunning usually meant lucky.
(EΝE) Grandpa, did you know Fred Flintstone?
( LΦ`) Ah, yes. Big guy, freakishly tiny legs. It's a wonder he could get that car up to highway speeds with those withered little limbs. Fine man to share a beer or three with after a hard day's work.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the formation of the solar system?
( LΦ)( LΦ
)( LΦ)( LΦ
)( LΦ)( LΦ
)( LΦ)( LΦ
)( LΦ)( LΦ
)( LΦ)( LΦ
)( LΦ)( LΦ
)( LΦO)( LΦO
)WOBWOB( ---LΦ---)( LΦ
)( LΦ)( LΦ
)V( Lw)( Laa
)( LΦw`)
( Lqqq`) junior firepance gibbelsig JUNIOR JUNIOOOOOR JUNIOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
( EΦE) Don't worry Junior, I'll take over the role of grandpa now!
( EΦE) Hello, kids!
(EΝE) What was lifelike texture before oppai balls?
( EΦE) I don't know, I was too busy playing with my dolls.
(EΝE) ...
(EΝE) You're useless, I want Grandpa back.
( LΦ`) Hello, kids. I took the battery out of the prosthetic head, so it should'nt be bothering us any more.
( LΦ`) What this post really means is:
( `ΦL) QUIT IT WITH ALL THE JUNIOR FIREPANCE CRAP IT'S NOT FUNNY.
(EΝE) Yay, Grandpa!
(EΝE) Now about my solar system question...
( LΦ`) wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob wob
( LΦ`) Ah, yes, back before the solar system formed... I wasn't alive back then, so I can't tell you. Sorry.
(EΝE) Grandpa, why does some idiot keep posting you making nonsense sounds?
( LΦ`) He's probably autistic, Junior. Many internet users are.
( ί ί) 400get!
( LΦ`) See? There's one right there.
( ίΦί) I'M AUTISMPA GUYS!!!
( LΦ`) Go back to Austin, Texaspa.
( LΦ`) And lay off the mescalin, you're not some alcoholic redskin.
·ΐͺͺͺͺͺͺ(EΝE)ͺͺͺͺͺͺ!!!!!
(EΝE) Hey, Grandpa.
(EΝE) firepance
( LΦ`) firepance
( ίΦί) firepance
( EΦE) firepance
( ά-ά) firepance
i@MnLjfirepance
i OΦOjfirepance
( LΦ`) You're just a candy striper. You can't commit shit.
@@ΘQΘ@@
@@(@E-E )@Yes I can! I-
@@/.@V@Κ
@@(|___:|__|)
@@ (___)Q)
@@ΘQΘ@@
@@(@E-E )@...shit.
@@/.@V@Κ
@@(|___:|__|)
@@ (___)Q)
@@ΘQΘ@@
@@(@>O< )@GAKA WAKA!!
@@/.@V@Κ
@@(|___:|__|)
@@ (___)Q)
@ΘQΘ@@
@@(@E-E )@gibbelsig firepance DOCTOR DOCTOR PILLS NOW
@@/.@V@Κ
@@(|___:|__|)
@@ (___)Q)
(EΝE) Grandpa, do you know gay magic?
( LΦ`) Gibbelsig masterfarts?
(EΝE) No, Grandpa! Gay magic!
( LΦ`) Ask 4chan.
(EΝE) I asked them about it, they just said "I'LL SUCK YOUR COCK."
( LΦ`) Well, there's your answer.
(EΝE) I don't get it.
( ί ί) I was told "Tits or GTFO Mittens!"
( LΦ`) 4chan is not for kids or educated intelligent people. It's for basement dwelling retards like Clonepa.
(EΦE) I like my basement. It's cool and quiet.
(EΦE) lol buttsechs o rly towercat teh rei lol
(EΦE) sorry, sometimes I get 4chan waves.
( LΦ`) Go to hell, crapass.
(EΦE) zomg teh rei
( LΦ`) firepance
(EΝE) GRAAAANDPAAAAA
( ί ί) Mittens!
( LΦ`) Sigh. Thread's all yours, idiots. I'm out of here.
( E-E) gibbelsig firepance grandpa junior pills pillsy willsy pills...
( E-E) ...
( E-E) aw, he took the fun out of it.
( ί ί) Mibbelsig!
( ί -ί) ...
(ί- ί )
( E-E) That tears it. I don't care how much paperwork it is, I'm having this entire thread commited. I'll be back with the relevant authorities.
<LΝM> Im gonna nuke you.
( LΦ`) Commit anything yet?
( E-E) We ain't committed shit!
( LΦ`) I hate faggots.
( LΦ`) And The Gays can go to The Hell.
( LΦ`) and the illusionists
( E-E) doctor I NEED MY PILLS GIBBBELSIG!!!!! FIREPANCE!!!!
| Θ
|@₯ิΦ₯ิ) Here's some cyanide. Take two and call me in the afterlife.
|.@V@ΚΒE
|___:|__|
|__)Q)
( E-E) ΒE
( EoE)Em
( E-E) -Gulp!-
( x-x)
( E-E) Thanks, doc.
( x__x)
( E-E) bye everybody!
( x__x)
( LΦ`) Thanks, son.
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) No problem, Dad.
(EΝE) Grandpa, how can this thread recover from such a massive derail?
( LΦ`) Just start asking questions again, Junior. It'll be just like old times!
( xΦx)
( LΦ`) Cyanide can't kill me!
( LΦ`) -urk-
( LΦ`) Wait, i guess it can.
( xΦx)
( LΦ`) Fooled you, didn't I? I used to do that one at parties all the time in the 40's. Now about those questions, Junior...
( LΦ`) ...they'll have to wait for late-urk!-
( xΦx)
( LΦ`) Nevermind, Junior. The thread is truly lost.
|Φ`)
|c
( ί ί) Grandpa, can I take the pills?
|Φ`) -urk!-
|Φx)
( ά-ά) Let's all take the pills, Mittens. They're all that's left.
(EΝE) ΒE
(EoE)Em
(EΝE) -Gulp!-
(EΝ -) huh?
(EA -) aughhh...
( LΦ`) Junior, no!
(EA -) G-graaandpa...before I die..I want to tell you something.
( LΦ`) What is it, Junior?
(EA -) ...kintana kintana has a deeper meaning...you must find it...it is located in afri -URK!-
(x A x)
( LO`) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
( LΦ`) But...what was I supposed to find? A scroll? A mysterious woman?
( ί ί) MITTENS?!
( LΦ`) WE'LL GO TO AFRICA TO FIND OUT!
( LΦ`) by the way, shut up mittens.
--GRANDPA: THE MOVIE--
-in Africa-
( LΦ`) Well, here I am...
( -Φ`) Urk...what is this?
( xΦ`) Shit! I forgot there's only AIDS in Africa! Junior tricked me!
( ίΦί) Cut! That wasn't in the script!
°>(Γίnί)x Hi, I'm Catfishpa. 'sup?
( ίΦί) You can be the villain!
( LΦ`) BU-N! Help me push this stone over so I can get in this cave!
i OΦOjOkay!
( LΦ`) Thanks.
( ί ί) I wonder if we'll find mittens in here!
( LΦ`) There are no mittens in Africa.
( ί ί) ...
( LΦ`) Ah-hah! A scroll!
( LΦ`) It says -
"Kintana kintana means 'ultimate spirit.' Chanting it 5 times will end all war."
( LΦ`) ...That sounds easy!
°>(Γίnί)x Not with me! Hahaha!!!
(EΝE) Grandpa! I'm back!
( LΦ`) I guess that means it's time for the epic final battle!
|Φ`) I don't think I'll be able to stand acting in this garbage without another beer.
|c
( ίΦί) Drunk fighting?! That's great!
°>(Γίnί)x HIYA!!!
( LΦ`) block aaaaaaHHAHGHAHGHGAG
( LΦ`) GIBBELSIG BEAMM!!!!!
(EΝE) ...Grandpa... you're peeing on him...
( LΦ`) That's the thing, Junior!
°> Crap, now I'm just a fin.
°> waaah waaah i'm going home
<]
( LΦ`) kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana
( ί ί) Yay! Everything's normal again!
( ί ί) NORMAL!
( ίΦί) CUT!
( ίΦί) Ms. Mittens, that was absolutely pathetic. Try again.
( LΦ`) Who are you? I haven't seen you befo ( ಠΦಠ) WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR
( ί ί) How do I do it, Autismpa?
( ಠΦಠ) FIRST YOU MUST CHARGE YOUR LAZOR
( LΦ`) Then say "shoop da whoop!" The Kaiser sure hated to hear us say that, Junior.
( ί ί) IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZOR!
( ί ί) Shoop da whoop!
( LΦ`) And then you go back to 4chan like the little brain-damaged shithead you are.
( ί -ί) ... that's harsh.
( LΦ`) Mittens, the only place where 4chan catchphrases are funny is on 4chan. Learn it, know it, live it.
( E-E) GRANDPA YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILLS OKAY?
( LΦ`) Firepance this.
( E-E) STOP RAPING ME! SECURITY!
( LΦ`) ahhh... I miss the old days when raping was legal
(@ίΝί) ...
(@ίΝί) It wasn't ever legal...
( LΦ`) well the past is in the past
Π*L°MΠ Did somebody call for security nya?
( E-E) GRANDPA RAPED ME!
( LΦ`) I-I can explain!
Π*L°MΠ No need for an explanation.
Π*L°MΠ Beady eyes, you're coming with me.
( LΦ`) Beady eyes was a man?!
( LO`) Noooooooooooooooooooo!
( E-E) Lucky for you, I'm all woman.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what's a woman who is not all woman?
( LΦ`) A product of gay magic.
( E-E) I don't believe in magic.
( LΦ`) You HAVE to believe! </disney>
( E-E) How is the magic gay?
( LΦ`) It's happy. Gay magic is happy magic.
( E-E) Im not a happy person.
( EE) Gay ma...
( E-E) Crap.
( LΦ`) You shouldn't be happy. Gay magic is one of the most profoundly stupid catchphrases that ever sprung up around here. It's like we suddenly have 11 year olds posting all over this board.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what's the best way to stop this crappy gay magic catchphrase?
( LΦ`) That's easy Junior! Just don't respond to it. Ignore replies that contain it - you won't be missing out on anything, because they're never funny and always terrible. Assume that the poster who posts such words is a troll and a flamer. You know how we deal with trolls, right Junior?
(EΝE) Anooo....Don't feed them!
( LΦ`) That's right sonny, don't feed them! So remember, just ignore replies which contain that silly catchphrase, and the trolls will soon get bored and go away.
( LΦ`) And hopefully they'll take that beady-eyed guy with them. I hate that sonofabitch.
(EΝE) Grandpa, you're the best!
( LΦ`) Yes, yes I am.
( E-E) You're an elitist superstructuralist faggot.
@@@@Ώ
( LΦ`)
@Όc))-E) < ow sorry ow ow ow sorry ow
@@
(EΝE) No, Grandpa! I mean the war! Blood and stuff!
( LΦ`) Oh, the war... yes, yes, yes...
( LΦ`) Plasma bug fire was shredding the Fleet. I was in with the 358th Mechanized Infantry, and we were burning down toward Klendathu at maximum landing insertion velocity. The dropship rattled like an earthquake in a subway station all the way down. Once on planet, we locked, loaded and started shredding the Bugs with waves of magnetically accelerated gauss needles. Puuchico was one of the first to get torn apart by the warrior bugs. We lost five more in the next two minutes, and in the end, only three of us made it to the pickup point.
(EΝE) Grandpa. Squeeks threw your old threads away. Don't you even care?
( LΦ`) Deleting old threads is kind of like the onset of Alzheimer's, Junior. It only really bothers other people.
( LΦ`) You will be married to Mittens, with 6,000 AA children. You invented the cure for the common cold. You will die on April 20, 4001. Hitler will then torture your soul.
(EΝE) Wait, 4001? Then, when will 1993 end?
( LΦ`) Whenever September does.
(EΝE) But what about October, November, and December?
( LΦ`) After them, obviously. What are they teaching you in school these days?
(EΝE) They teach us how to abstain from sex by using gay magic. And something about differential equations.
( LΦ`) Again with the gay magic. Is that beady-eyed faggot still here?
( E-E) For the last time! I don't believe in any magic!
(EΝE) Grandpa, what are clouds?
( LΦ`) Big clumps of water vapor high up in the atmosphere. There is some thought these days that cosmic rays interacting with that same water vapor is what causes clouds to form.
( LΦ`) Global warming proponents believe that clouds are man's fault.
(EΝE) Grandpa, do you believe in Global Warming?
( LΦ`) I believe that the world will end in 51 days. Does that count?
(EΝE) Will it be 1994 then?
(@E@Ν@E@)
( LΦ`) No.
(EΝE) But how will I live until the year 4001 if there is no world?
( LΦ`) There's plenty of wide open real estate on Mars, boy.
( LΦ`) That, and you could simply write that it was the year 4001 on your calender, junior.
(EΝE) grandpa a firepance gibbelsig liger ux slorpadig
( LΦ`) Only if nobody was there to hear it, Junior.
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(EΝE) Grandpa, if I fart in the woods and there is nobody to hear it, did I really fart?
( LΦ`) Junior, what is the sound of one cheek flapping?
(EΝE)
(EΝE ) Bhao
(EΝE)
(EΝE ) Bhao
(EΝE) What did it sound like, Grandpa?
( LΦ`) It was the War all over again, Junior.
(EΝE) WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS
(EΝE) WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS
(EΝE) ...is what I keep telling to the grown-ups who are beating me.
(EΝE) What's so bad about a few windows broken? They get fresh air in their houses.
(EΝE) I bet they are jealous of my freedom.
( LΦ`) All work and no play makes Jack a millionaire, Junior.
(EΝE) Screw you, Grandpa! I'm getting my own thread!
( LΦ`) ZzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzZzzzzz....
( LΦ`) That would be the fifth time you fail then, Junior.
( LΦ`) So ronery
( E-E) I'll keep you company.
( LΦ`) Piss off.
( ίΝί) Hi, Grandpa! I'll be your new "Junior!"
( LΦ`) Ah, Hoshiko! When did I last see you?
( ίΝί) A pretty long time! What was life like before the internet?
( LΦ`) We talked a lot over the phone.
( LΦ`) Attention whore. Come back when you've jumped the shark.
( E-E) You both did that together back in the first thread.
(#EΝE) Beady eyes! Look at my scars!
(#EΝE) nghhhh
(EΝE#) aghhhh
(#EΝE#) rawrrr
( E-E) I could care less about your fucking scars. I'm fucking dead.
( LΦ`) He's Swiss cheese now.
(#EΝE) Don't you mean "I couldn't care less?"
( ίΝί) Look at mine!
( ίΝί) kyaaaaaaa
( ίΝί) uheeee
( ίΝί) aaa` junia-chaaaaaaan
(#EΝE) firepance
( LΦ`) firepance
( ίΦί) firepance
( EΦE) firepance
( ά-ά) firepance
i@MnLjfirepance
i OΦOjfirepance
Π*ί°ί) firepance
( ίΝί) firepance
( E-E) firepance
( ί ί) firepance
(#EΝE) spoobnumby
( LΦ`) spoobnumby
( ίΦί) spoobnumby
( EΦE) spoobnumby
( ά-ά) spoobnumby
i@MnLjspoobnumby
i OΦOjspoobnumby
Π*ί°ί) spoobnumby
( ίΝί) spoobnumby
( E-E) spoobnumby
( ί ί) spoobnumby
@ ©__©
@i@ί mίj I'm not into the whole group shouting activity thing.
@i@@@j
@ ©__©
@i@ί mίj spoobnumby
@i@@@j
( E-E) Yes, technically it should be "I couldn't care less" but both variants are apparently accepted. Don't ask me.
( E-E) Wait, we've talked on this long enough.
( E-E) Take your pills and that spoobnumby'll be fixed right up!
( LΦ`) You said spoobnumby too, you idiot.
( LΦ`) And there doesn't seem to be any pills left.
( ΦLΦ`) ahgah spoobnumby
( LΦ`) junior spoobnumby a firepance gibbelsig ux ux feeboobahboo bimwap ia ia JUNIOR BISPLAG JUNIOOOOOR
(EΝE) Grandpa, did you do a lot of GAY MAGIC in your day?
(EΝE) 'kay. Grandpa, did you do a lot of MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS in your day?
( LΦ`) No, Junior, I do not do MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS.
( LΦ`) And we're not getting a cat either.
( LΦ`) Boku boku boku?
( LΦ`) TONIGHT WE DINE IN /DQN/
@@-]]- A
^@@@@@R
!@ !@l|,.iΙl_Ιj
i @§-]@|! i
_R .U@- Ιm@Welcome to DQN, how may I take your order?
@@MMt@iL
@ @ / _Ι.T
@@/__i |£!|
ͺͺΒͺΒͺͺ========
==@@ @@ DQN @@ @@@ ==
(EΝE) I want a little sister!
( ίΝί) I'm your little sister`!
(EΝE) Alright. Let's play fucking like Mom and Dad!
( ίΝί) OW hey what the hell!
@@-]]- A
^@@@@@R
!@ !@l|,.iΙl_Ιj
i @§-]@|! i
_R .U@- Ιm@Try not to get any on the carpet
@@MMt@iL
@ @ / _Ι.T
@@/__i |£!|
ͺͺΒͺΒͺͺ========
==@@ @@ DQN @@ @@@ ==
( LΦ`) In my day, we didn't rape our sisters. You kids these days...
(EΝE) Grandpa, what did you PLAY in your day?
( LΦ`) I here by insert a witty remark with word play.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life before life ?
( LΦ`) I don't remember.
( ίΝί) a field trip
( ίΝί) a field trip
( ίΝί) a field trip
( LΦ`) I don't remember.
(EΝE) Grandpa, do I have to go to school?
( LΦ`) I don't ... WAIT, Fuck yeah!
(EΝE) Darn!
( ίΝί) Spoobnumby a firepance gibbelsig, Junior!
( ΦLΦ`) ahgah spoobnumby
(EΝE) Grandpa, why is my little sister such a retard?
( LΦ`) You don't have a little sister, Junior.
(EΝE) Grandpa, why is my bigger sister such a retard?
Then, what's that thing?
(EΝE)Β( ίΝί)
( LΦ`) OH GOD IT HAS RETURNED
( ίΝί) Grandpa, I'm going to kill you and see how Junior responds
( LΦ`) aww jeez not this shit again
( XΦX)
(EΝE) Oh, Grandpa's dead. I'm leaving.
~ Fin ~
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@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@WHAT THE HELL
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
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( ίΝί) GRANDPA WAKE UP YOU'RE MISSING THE FUN
(EΝE) GRANDPA I NEED MY PILLS
(AEAE) SPOOBNUMBY
( ίΝί) Gibbelsig?
(AEAE) yes a gibbelsig firepance sizterer PILLS
( ίΝί) Feeboobahboo!
(AEAE) bimwap bisplag.
( ίΝί) Gromblag, ux ux ux gibbelsig a slorpadig?
( LΦ`) Dahgarling, a firepance!
( ίΝί) AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
<€MΝL> I demand apology juice for that nida!
( LΦ`) It's not my fault you don't speak English. Just take your firepants and get the hell out of my country!
<€MΝL> Feeboobahboo bimwap!
( LΦ`) Damn foreigners. We should have killed you all back in the war.
(EΝE) In school they told us genocide was bad.
( LΦ`) Don't use big words Junior, or you'll catch on fire.
(EΝE) In church they speak King James English. Are those big words too? Will the church catch fire soon?
(EΦE) An excess of obfuscated verbiage will initiate immolation of your personage.
( LΦ`) Shut the fuck up, clonepa.
We will merge as one, Grandpa, then we'll rule all of DQN!
(EΦE LΦ`) Wha...
( LΦ`)
( LΦ`) Well, it's not like it made any bit of difference. He's technically me and a much younger version of me.
(EΝE) So does that mean you're a crapass too?
( ά-ά) Grandpa has always been a crapass.
( LΦ`) We all crap from our asses Junior. Well, at least I think we do.
(EΦE LΦ`) aagghhhh
(EΦE) FREEDOM!!!
(EΦE) Yeah, I went there. That's how I roll.
@@@@Ώ
(LΦ`)
@Όc))ΦE) < ow sorry ow ow ow sorry ow
@@
(EΦE EΦE) aagghhhh
(EΦE) FREEDOM!!! (EΦE)
@@@@Ώ
(LΦ`) ))ΦE) < ow sorry ow ow ow sorry ow
@Όc))ΦE) < ow sorry ow ow ow sorry ow
@@
( LΦ`) desu
( LΦ`) Sorry about that. Flashback. From the war, y'know.
(EΝE) The Clones War?
( LΦ`) No, that other one. You know, with the clones?
(EΝE) The War of the Clones?
(EΦE) Clonepa Vs. Grandpa, I think.
(EΝE) Who won?
(EΦE) When you're fighting yourself, everyone wins.
( LΦ`) Ignore him, he's just bitter that he lost.
@@@@Ώ
( ίΝί)
@Όc))ΝE)
@@
(EΝE) Grandpa, what does "spoobnumby" mean?
( LΦ`) How the hell would I know? It's not a real word like spoonbumpy.
(EΝE) Well What does spoonbumby mean?
( LΦ`) Junior, what was life like before the internet?
(EΝE) Grandpa, what would your theme song be?
(EΝE) Mine would be "Canadian Idiot!"
(EΦE) Who is on fire?
( LΦ`) Junior.
(EAE) OH GOD HELP!
(EAE) FIRE PANTS!
( LΦ`) I told you that's what happens when you tell lies.
(EΝE) Tsukurimashou, tsukurimashou?
(EΝE) Sate sate nani ga, dekiru ka na?
(EΝE) Hai, dekimashita!
( LΦ`) Stop speaking in moonlanguage Junior. It makes Jesus sad.
(EΝE) Who is Jesus?
( LΦ`) One of the most legendary NEETs.
( LΦ`) Eeeee, Junia-san...a-aishi-
( LΦ`) I MADE JESUS CRY OH SHI-
. |
.___O___ You suck Grandpa
. \/|\/
. //
. \\
. |
( LΦ`) Meh, I was a Pastafarian anyway.
(EΝE) Did you make Pastafaria Junior cry too?
( LΦ`) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
( LΦ`) You know we have a wiki, right?
(EΝE) You know you didn't answer my question, right?
( LΦ`) I already answered it!
(LΦ` ) Hey, how's it going, beer?
(EΝE) Grandpa, what's global warming?
(EΝE) Grandpa, if there is a Left and a Right, why isn't there a Top and a Bottom?
(EoE) Φ`) I'm the top, you're the bottom. unf unf unf firepance gibbelsiig!
(LΝ`) Hello. I am Grandnior. I come from the future.
( LΦ`) If that was true you would have said "I come from the futior".
(EΝE) Grandpa, teach me to love again
( ί ί) Grandpa, do you remember the Twenty First night of September, 1992?
( LΦ`) Please restate your question in the proper format.
( ί ί) Do you remember the night of 1992-09-21 ?
( LΦ`) I can barely remember what happened this morning.
(EΝE) When will "Grandpa: The Movie" be made?
( LΦ`) Today.
( LΦ`) Aha! September fools!
(EΝE)@You got me Grandpa!
(EΝE) Happy September 4961st!
( LΦ`) Wasplag a gibbelsig firepa-
( LΦ`) Sorry, got carried away.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before DESU?
( LΦ`) Life was quite a mouthful as we would end sentences with DE ARIMASU.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like during the war?
( LΦ`) Well, I had a third leg back then...but times were hard and we had to eat dog meat!
(EΝE) Grandpa, what's a nukyular bomb?
( LΦ`) Junior, you're not supposed to know about that sort of thing yet!
(EΝE) Grandpa, will I be president when I grow up?
( LΦ`) Yes Junior, but you wont want to be president when that time comes
(EΝE) Why??
(EΝE) ...
(EΝE) Less inept than it is today!
(EΝE) Is there more than one Internet?
( LΦ`) in our time there was only one internets
(EΝE) Why did you use a Bushism?
( LΦ`) Don't make me go nucular on your bee-hind.
(EΝE) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNqiSkd1M6k Our BEES will BLOT OUT THE SUN!
( LΦ`) I would rest in the shade but they make an infernal noise.
(EΝE) Grandpa, why do bad things happen to good AA characters?
( LΦ`) God hates us, Junior.
(EΝE) Does this mean the Devil loves us?
( LΦ`) Hang on, I'll check...
>fwoosh<
>fwip<
( LΦ`) Nope. He hates us too.
(EΝE) It's Spring-time, Grandpa! When are you going to clean?
(EΝE) Grandpa, is it the Rabbit who is laying the Easter eggs?
(EΝE) Grandpa, was it a cold day in Hell?
( LΦ`) zzzzzZZzZzzzzzzzZZZZzzz
(EΝE) Grandpa, can I take ten bucks from your wallet?
( LΦ`) No.
(EAE) Grandpa, your threads are getting less funny with every incarnation!
( LΦ`) Grandpa Grandpa's Bizarre Adventure Part 8
(EΝE) Wouldn't that be Great-Great-Grandpa's pill-induced hallucinations part the infinite?
( LΦ`) 1993707
(EΝE) Grandpa, it is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. It is also claimed that words are a dime a dozen. Assuming these propositions are true, what is the dollar value of a picture?
( LΦ`) Roughly $8.33
(EΝE) Grandpa, you're amazing!
( LΦ`) That's because I'm Grandpa.
(EΝE) So what was up with all that "Wake up Grandpa and take your pills" stuff in the early part of this thread?
( LΦ`) Beats me. Ask Beady Eyes about it over in his thread.
(EΝE) Grandpa, have you noticed that I'm also beady-eyed?
(EΝE) Where do I put them?
( LΦ`) Wherever you took the old ones out, of course.
( L^ิΦOิิ) INTO THE RAY OF THE SUN τ
( L^ิΦOิิ) MARCH OUR HERO HUNTING THE DARKLORD τ
( L^ิΦOิิ) REBORN FROM THE BLOOD OF HIS GOD... τ
( L^ิΦOิิ) HIS GOD... THE WARMASTER KRON τ
( L^ิΦOิิ) RIDE FOR THE FALL OF HIS POWER τ
( L^ิΦOิิ) FIGHTING THE STORM, THE ROAR OF THE THUNDER τ
( L^ิΦOิิ) ALLY OF THE SUN AND THE MOON... τ
( L^ิΦOิิ) GREAT SWORDMASTER RULE! τ
( LΦ`) That's so retarded.
( L^ิΦOิิ) ...
( L^?ΦO??) DESU DESU DESU
Όρρρi $Oo-Φ-oO$jρρρ½ BOONDESUGHRAUGTIORJOPA
( LΦ`) What the hell's happening, Junior?!
(EΝE) I don't know!
i -Φ-.jMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@What the hell was that?
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
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(EΝE) You need to reduce your intake of speed, grandpa...
@@@@@Yeah, whatever. ZzzzzzzzZZzzzzzz...
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@@
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(EΝE) Grandpa, the Germans are back!
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@ ZzzZzzzZzZZZ
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(EΝE) Grandpa, they were allies.
@
@
(EΝE) ....
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@i@LΦ`j@@OH GO HELP US, THEY ARE BACK!!!
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
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( L^ิΦOิิ) ...
(EΝE) Grandpa, how would you rate this thread so far?
( LΦ`) Worst Grandpa Thread ever. Beady Eyes and his band of microcephalic twits dragged it down so far that it'll never recover.
( LΦ`) I'm going out for a drink.
|Φ` ) Bye.
|c
@@@@@@@@@@ ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@(EΝE)@@Bed GET!
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
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@@@@@@@@@@ ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@(EΝE)@@
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@ ZzzZzzzZzZZZ
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@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@ ...
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@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@ fap*fap*fap
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( ί -ί) baka shinji
@@@@@@@@@@ ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@(EΝE)@@Beady Eyes, don't walk in while I'm sleeping.
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
@@@@@@@^@€-(QQQ_^
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@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@ fapfapfap
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@fap fap fap fap fap
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^fap fap fap fap fap
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
@@@@@@@^_/QQQQ^fap dammit it's not working fap fap fap fap
@@@@@@@PPPPPPP fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap oh fuck it.
@@@@@@@@ ά^R-A_Q_@ zzzzzzzzzz
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( ί -ί) Just as planned.
@@@@@@@@@@ ΘΘ
@@@@@@@@@@( LΦ`)@@
@@@@@@@@@Q|@½^(QQ_
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@@@@@@@@.......................... (can't get it up)
|i|||i||i||i|||i||ά^R-A_Q_|||i|
i||||i|i||i||@^_/QQQQ^||i
i||i|||i||i|@PPPPPPPi|
(EΝE)@Grandpa, what does Viagra taste like?
( LO`)0m
( LΦ`) It tastes like DESU.
Όρρρi $Oo-Φ-oO$jρρρ½ YOUR TIME HAS ENDED, GRANDPA. GIVE UP, AND YOUR DEATH WILL BE LESS... PAINFUL.
( LΦ`) Die, Boonpa! You don't belong in this world!
Όρρρi $Oo-Φ-oO$jρρρ½ SURRENDER GRANDPA
( $Oo-Ν-oO$) I AM DEATH COME FOR THEE, GRANDPA. SURRENDER, AND THY PASSAGE SHALL BE QUICKER.
( LΦ`) Oh shut up grandpapanior from the futior.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
( LΦ`) Public education used to actually educate people, Junior.
(EΝE) What was life like before pubic edumaction?
( LΦ`) Nobody shaved.
Όρρρi $Oo-Φ-oO$jρρρ½ GRANDPA
Όρρρi $Oo-Φ-oO$jρρρ½ WHAT WAS LIFE LIKE BEFORE YOU?
( LΦ`) Don't shout.
(EΝE) Give me candy! Give me Candy!
@ΘQΘ@@@ ΘQΘ
@(E(ΌΌί(LΦ`@) @@Here's a fistful of crunchy candy. bapbapbap
(Α ΌΌί@@Ό)
@/@@@)@@@@( @@ _
@( /PΎ @@@ΎP_j
(EΦE) ...Ow.
(EΦE) I am Clonepanior, and I come from the futior.
( LΦ`) No you don't, you were cloned from me some decades back.
(EΦE) They've been lyingOHGOD GIBBELSIG
(EΝE) I can see the fjords!
( LΦ`) I once had a dog...
(EΦE) ...
( LΦ`) ...
(EΦE) ...and?
( LΦ`) zzzzZZZZZZ
(EΦE)
( EΦE)
(EΦE )
(-Φ-) zzz...
Όρρρ(EΝE)ρρρ½ GRANDPA! WAKE UP!
( LΦ`) Ugghh...why does my head hurt?
(EΝE) There's nothing left, Grandpa. This whole world is lurching and heaving, slowly but inevitably, towards its' end.
(EΦE) Sorry, but I was just so hungry...
(EΝE) Grandpa, where do babies come from?
( LΦ`) They grow inside women, Junior. After 9 months or so, the woman squeezes the baby out, just like popping a huge zit.
( ί-ί) Grandpa, what did Grandma have to die?
( LΦ`) She had to dye the eggs.
( LΦ`) Mittens, you meant "why."
(LΝ`) I'm Grandnior, and I come from the futior.
( LΦ`) Your face is all squished up, too.
(LΝ`) Would you like some free CIALIS?
( LΦ`) I have enough.
( LΦ`) fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap (damn can't get it up)
( LΦ`) Fine, I'll take some.
(LΝ`) That's too bad! In the future, all the CIALIS has run out!
( LΦ`) CIALIS! CIALIS! It's awwwright!
(LΝ`) But we do have V14GR4.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before spam?
( LΦ`)Before spam, we had no name brand luncheon meats.
(EΝE) Grandpa, mother said you are a pedophile and I should stop visiting you. What does pedophile mean?
( LΦ`) Children's doctor. Let me examine you.
(EΝE) What did you do in the war, Grandpa?
(LΝ`) I'm still fighting the war of 3024.
( LΦ`) I killed people and broke things, mostly.
( ά-ά) That wasn't very kind of you, Grandpa.
( LΦ`) They were all bad people and bad things.
( LΦ`) That was pretty weak, fathead-san. You're usually much more annoying.
( ά-ά) I know. Ever since Beady-Eyes derailed my thread, my game's been off.
(EΝE) Grandpa, I'm going to lead a rebel group to overthrow you and this thread!
10 minutes later
Junior: We're all going to join up to kill you once and for all! Prepare yourself, Grandpa!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@(EΝE)
@@@@@@@@( ί ί)@@@@(@MnL)@@@@( E-E)
<RMΝL>( 3) S(◕ฺΓ◕ฺM‘) (☄◢t◣)☄ ( ά-ά) i *ί';;ί'j ( ίΝί) ( L_½M) (MΚL)
|EQE|( =0=) ( LE__E) i@LΝMji*ί[ίjiBE_Ej ( ' =_=) J( '°`)΅ ((/ f.ㄟ) i@OΝOj
( ₯_₯) Π*ί°ί) (L^ิΦOิ) ()(L) ( E[E) ( M°L) (@₯ิm₯ิ) <€MnL> i Φj i θΦθj (
DL)
( EΦ) No one's killin or overthrowin' no one, kid.
( ί mί) I'm not really into that whole overthrowing thing.
( LΦ`) What are you shitheads doing in my thread? Get out.
(EΝE) It's my thread too. I get to ask questions.
Feel my zombie touch, MercPa!
(☄◢t◣)☄ i Φj
i ΦjΒ I'm Scarpa, Mercpa's over that way.
i Φj At least, I think he is.
( ίΝί) YOU MEAN ME?
( ίΝί) YOU MEAN ME?
( ίΝί) YOU MEAN ME?
( ίΝί) YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU
( ίΝί) YYYYYY
Fatal error
( M°L) It's okay to carry out and be w
(GίDί) This entire thread is DQN.
(w)It carries out and is DQN
(GίDί) You will do no such thing!
Π*ί°ί) Why not?
( ίDί) Well... theres no money in it.
Π*ί°ί) ... oh okay.
( LΦ`) I feel 800 years old...
( ίDί) Who are you anyways?
( LΦ`) I am Grandpa, the ultimate god of death...and...destruction...and stuff.
( ^ิΦOิ) Whuzgon'on dis tread?
( ^ิΦOิ) Whenduh fudk didjwe guh ice creeeeemm??
( LΦ`) I never thought having your own thread can be hazardous to your health...
(EΝE) Grandpa, what's wrong with Virginia Tech?
( LΦ`) zzz
( ίDί) WAKE UP GRANDPA
( ίDί) YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE...
( ίDί) That was done already?
(EΝE) Grandpa, do they have guns at UT in Austin?
(EΝE) ...what would you shoot, from the clock tower?
( LΦ`) You.
( (((EΝE))) ) ...!
(EΝE) Grandpa, do you write poetry?
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was your major?
( LΦ`) Modern Image Board Culture.
(EΝE) Culture of MIBs?
( LΦ`) You will remember nothing...
(EΝE)
(-Ν-) zzz
( LΦ`) Wake up!
(EΝE) !!
( LΦ`) Who am I?
( E-E) To make a long story short, you're Grandpa, you died back in the fifth Grandpa thread after a long and drawn out winding down of quality, and without their patron all of DQN has rotted and will continue to rot.
( E-E) Heaven is just through the door on the left. Have a nice afterlife.
( LΦ`) Whaaaaat? I never signed up for any of these new fangled compost heaps!
( EΦE) I signed using your name. That's O.K, right?
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
( LΦ`) It was great. Stupid people had much less influence on the world back then.
( LΦ`) Of course, it took me four days to download Commander Keen.
( LΦ`) Like being stuck in a box.
( E-E) YES, GRANDPA, ACT!!! Talk and pretend nothing's happened, as you exhaust the last of your DEATH-INDUCED SYNAPSE BURSTS!!!
( LΦ`) I'm too manly to die from something like that. I'll just grunt it off.
(EΝE) Grandpa!
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(@Ν@) Grandpa, why am I dizzy?~~~
( LΦ`) Because you keep dancing with that shit, its bound to make anyone dizzy.
(@Ν@) But all the c00l kidz are doing it!
( LΦ`) Cool? Back in the day cool meant you snuck into the bar underage!
(EΝE) Get naked, Grandpa.
@@ i@LΦ`j Come to me Junior!
@@@@@Όρ |@@@/ρ½ Let's go!
@@@@ @@@ i@Rρρρ½
@@@@@@@@ Ι>m@
@@@@ @@Ϊ
( E-E) Decapitated grandpas and disembodied voices.
( E-E) This thread has jumped the shark.
i@LΦ`jBack in my day, you actually had to go and find the shark on your own!
(EΝE) Grandpa, what does "jumping the shark" mean?
i@LΦ`jDodging the loansharks.
(EΝE) Is http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1177025967/ a good thread?
( E-E) It can't be any worse then this one, can it?
@@@@@Όρ |@@@/ρ½ B-U-N-ERECTION
@@@@ @@@ i@Rρρρ½
@@@@@@@@ Ι>m@
@@@@ @@Ϊ1
( E-E) Never mind, I think that this thread has set the bar for bad threads across the entire internet. One day, a researcher will find this thread, nestled in the deepest disgusting depths of a massive archive of the internet, and on that day, he will inadvertently destroy what little is left of a global communications network by bringing this horrific catastrophe of a thread to light.
( E-E) Don't say I didn't warn you when it happens.
(EΝE) Isnt it your fault this thread got derailed in the first place, Beady eyes?
( E-E) It was inevitable. Since Grandpa refuses to die, the thread will continue to be derailed by Deus ex machina or simple side-tracking every time we get close to finally putting the last nail in his coffin.
i LΦ`j Niggas ballin'
( E-E) No. That takes all the fun out of it.
( LΦ`) I think you're worse than that fatass...
(EΝE) Grandpa, do you think when we get to the 9th thread iteration, the combined post will be over 9000?
( LΦ`) No, it'll be somewhere around 8990
( E-E) We're on the one that sucks.
( E-E) This while play sucks. Though I'll admit some pages suck more than others.
(EΝE) Grandpa, how did people download books without the internet?
(EΝE) How many kilobits a second is that?
(EAE) Grandpa, I've got the flu!
( LΦ`) Back when I was your age, the flu got you! Boy, were you lucky if you survived the 1918 pandemic.
( LΦ`) ...or the 1340s pandemic. All those negroes scurrying along.
(EAE) Grandpa, that's racist !
( LΦ`) Back in my day, being a Racist meant that you raced your Negro-drawn buggy against other people
(EΝE) Isn't it unfair to race Negroes against horses because the Negro, being bred solely for sport, can beat any horse?
( LΦ`) We cut off their legs first.
( E-E) Grandpa no chinchi wa chisai da yo. Yopparai mou! Honto, gomenasai.
( LΦ`) What's that? You're making tacos?
(EΝE) What was life like before books?
( LΦ`) We had scrolls, Junior. You rolled them straight out and there was none of that bothersome "page-turning" you had to do, but it was hell keeping them clear from mould or the effects of age and weather.
(EΝE) What was life like before scrolls?
( LΦ`) We had stone tablets, Junior. They lasted for ages and ages and ages, but they were impossible to carry around and you'd be lucky if you ever got to use one yourself - you had to fetch a stoneworker (and a literate stoneworker at that) and dictate your message to him, and you'd always have to pay the most outrageous fees. Mostly, we left the stone tablet business to the temples and the guards.
(EΝE) Did they have 4-Ch on stone tablets?
( LΦ`) No, but we did have 4-ch on the city walls. Mind you, if you were caught actually "writing" on the city walls, the guards would visit the most terrible punishments upon you.
(EΝE) Did Nida demand Apolojuice when he was caught writing on the walls?
( LΦ`) I remember when Nachos where invented in Mexico. I thought to myself, "Algún idiota va a pedirme nachos algún día, Ay caramba!"
( E-E) Junior, no shins were chiseled on this day, yo. Yabba dabba doo! On to go, my nasal.
(EΝE) What does that mean?
( LΦ`) It's gangspeak, Junior, and you don't want to have anything to do with it.
(EΝE) Grandpa, whatever became of the Mizukis between Mizuki Ichiro and Mizuki Nana?
( LΦ`) NANA MIZUKI! You just touched my soft spot.
(EΝE) But what about my question!
( LΦ`) There is nothing in between. They both cover everything already.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what came before the Grandpa threads ever began?
(@•_Q) I say old chap, your taste in representatives of the female species is something best left unmentioned at the next gentlemen's gathering.
( LΦ`) Get your uptight ass out of my thread.
( E-E) tight ass...
( E-E) mm
( LΦ`) ..
(LΦ` ) .....
( LΦ`) ........You know, shifty eyes.. Back in my day, we cut people's penises off for masturbating.
( E-E) Grandpa no chinchi wa chisai da yo. Yopparai mou! Honto, gomenasai.
(EΝE) Grandpa, it's raining!
(EΝE)?
( LΦ`) So where's your question?
(EΝE) Back in my day, we didn't have questions, we had to beat dinosaurs with our clubs until they'd tell us what we needed.
(EΝE) Why do we need a script anyway?
(EΝE) You mean the prosthetic head thing?
( LΦ`) No, the prosthetic prosthetic head thing. It was so overly dramatic it had to be a fake-fake head.
( E-E) If you just played along with it it would have ended up with ultimate lols.
(EΝE) Grandpa, if we just ignore him, do you think he'll go away?
( LΦ`) BEADY EYES WAKE UP
( LΦ`) YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN
( LΦ`) See how annoying that is?
(EΝE) What was 4-ch like before Beady Eyes, Grandpa?
( LΦ`) A lot better.
( E-E) You're all mean!
(E-E ) boo hoo sob sob
(EΝE) Was Beady Eyes this annoying even when he was first typed?
( LΦ`) Who?
( E-E) At least I'm not a fucking W.I.T.C.H.
( EΦE) even i'm cooler then beady eyes
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