[Part 8] ( LƒΦ`) Grandpa [Legendary] (999)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4804 21:59

( LƒΦ`) Well, we'll need this thread eventually.

801 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-4976 03:21

( ί„Dί) Who are you anyways?

802 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 04:35

( LƒΦ`) I am Grandpa, the ultimate god of death...and...destruction...and stuff.

803 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 06:30

( ^ิƒΦOิ) Whuzgon'on dis tread?

804 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 07:06

( ^ิƒΦOิ) Whenduh fudk didjwe guh ice creeeeemm??

805 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 16:53

( LƒΦ`) I never thought having your own thread can be hazardous to your health...

806 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 23:53

(EΝE) Grandpa, what's wrong with Virginia Tech?

807 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 23:57

( LƒΦ`) UT at Austin is a waaaaaay better school. Why back in my day... *mumble*

808 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4977 02:13

( LƒΦ`) zzz

809 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4977 20:28

( ί„Dί) WAKE UP GRANDPA
( ί„Dί) YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE...
( ί„Dί) That was done already?

810 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4977 21:28

(EΝE) Grandpa, do they have guns at UT in Austin?

811 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4977 23:47

( LƒΦ`) Yes they do. They even have a clock tower you can practice from.

812 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 03:47

(EΝE) ...what would you shoot, from the clock tower?

813 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 17:04

( LƒΦ`) You.

814 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 17:33

( (((EΝE))) ) ...!

815 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 17:35

(EΝE) Grandpa, do you write poetry?

816 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 17:58

( LƒΦ`) Happy clown laughing,
( LƒΦ`) Greeting all with painted smiles.
( LƒΦ`) NOW HE HAS A GUN!!!

817 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 18:25

(EΝE) Grandpa, what was your major?

818 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 19:00

( LƒΦ`) Modern Image Board Culture.

819 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 21:13

(EΝE) Culture of MIBs?

820 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 03:13

( LƒΦ`) You will remember nothing...

821 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 03:54

(EΝE)
(-Ν-) zzz

822 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 06:42

( LƒΦ`) Wake up!

(EΝE) !!

( LƒΦ`) Who am I?

823 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 09:27

( E-E) To make a long story short, you're Grandpa, you died back in the fifth Grandpa thread after a long and drawn out winding down of quality, and without their patron all of DQN has rotted and will continue to rot.

( E-E) Heaven is just through the door on the left. Have a nice afterlife.

824 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 09:46

( LƒΦ`) Whaaaaat? I never signed up for any of these new fangled compost heaps!

825 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 10:20

( EƒΦE) I signed using your name. That's O.K, right?

826 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 10:39

( E-E) Hooray, it worked! I got my punchline out! Finally, after all this time! They laughed, LAUGHED I tell you when I first tried to derail the single most popular thread after the Lamely Insult The Previous Poster Thread, but I showed them!

( E-E) HAHAHAHAHAHA! He's been dead for three threads now, isn't that a hoot? SO FUNNY I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

( LƒΦ`) Wait, who are you again?

827 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 10:40

(EΝE) Oh, the candystriper's back.

828 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 10:51

( LƒΦ`) Sigh. We put out rat traps and everything...

829 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 10:51

(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?

830 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 10:52

( LƒΦ`) It was great. Stupid people had much less influence on the world back then.

831 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 14:16

(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?

832 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 14:25

( LƒΦ`) It was great. Stupid people had much less influence on the world back then.

833 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 14:45

(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before Fidonet?

834 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 14:45

( LƒΦ`) It was nice. Being restricted to phone-in BBSs led to small, easy to follow conversations and a happy community.

835 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 15:11

( LƒΦ`) Of course, it took me four days to download Commander Keen.

836 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 15:54

( LƒΦ`) Like being stuck in a box.

837 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 17:09

( E-E) YES, GRANDPA, ACT!!! Talk and pretend nothing's happened, as you exhaust the last of your DEATH-INDUCED SYNAPSE BURSTS!!!

838 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 17:12

( LƒΦ`) I'm too manly to die from something like that. I'll just grunt it off.

839 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 17:47

(EΝE) ... he's really laying it on thick this time.

( LƒΦ`) Really? I hadn't noticed.

840 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 18:19

(EΝE) Grandpa!

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841 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 18:26

(@Ν@) Grandpa, why am I dizzy?~~~

842 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-4979 22:05

( LƒΦ`) Because you keep dancing with that shit, its bound to make anyone dizzy.

843 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 00:02

(@Ν@) But all the c00l kidz are doing it!

844 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 00:11

( LƒΦ`) Cool? Back in the day cool meant you snuck into the bar underage!

845 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 00:40

(EΝE) Get naked, Grandpa.

846 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 00:50

@@ i@LƒΦ`j Come to me Junior!
@@@@@Ό“ρ |@@@/“ρ½ Let's go!
@@@@ @@@ i@R“ρ“ρ“ρ½
@@@@@@@@ Ι>ƒm@
@@@@ @@ƒŒΪ

847 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 00:51

>>846

Aw fux. I fail at ASCII Arts

848 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 02:11

( E-E) Decapitated grandpas and disembodied voices.

( E-E) This thread has jumped the shark.

849 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 02:14

i@LƒΦ`jBack in my day, you actually had to go and find the shark on your own!

850 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 03:45

(EΝE) Grandpa, what does "jumping the shark" mean?

851 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 03:50

i@LƒΦ`jDodging the loansharks.

852 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 05:28

(EΝE) Is http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1177025967/ a good thread?

853 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 05:38

( E-E) It can't be any worse then this one, can it?

854 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 05:51

@@@@@Ό“ρ |@@@/“ρ½ B-U-N-ERECTION
@@@@ @@@ i@R“ρ“ρ“ρ½
@@@@@@@@ Ι>ƒm@
@@@@ @@ƒŒΪ1

855 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 07:23

( E-E) Never mind, I think that this thread has set the bar for bad threads across the entire internet. One day, a researcher will find this thread, nestled in the deepest disgusting depths of a massive archive of the internet, and on that day, he will inadvertently destroy what little is left of a global communications network by bringing this horrific catastrophe of a thread to light.

( E-E) Don't say I didn't warn you when it happens.

856 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 07:28

(EΝE) Isnt it your fault this thread got derailed in the first place, Beady eyes?

857 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 07:38

( E-E) It was inevitable. Since Grandpa refuses to die, the thread will continue to be derailed by Deus ex machina or simple side-tracking every time we get close to finally putting the last nail in his coffin.

858 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 07:54

i LƒΦ`j Niggas ballin'

859 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 11:40

(EΝE) So what you really mean, Beady Eyes, is that since Grandpa didn't go along with your awesome PILLS GIBBLSIG plan for HIS thread, YOU think it sucks.

(EΝE) It's not as though your thread was popular enough to go through so many incarnations so quickly.

(EΝE) fag.

860 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 11:43

( E-E) I just thought it'd be really funny if Grandpa died in a thread.

( E-E) FOREVER!!!!!!

861 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 11:45

( LƒΦ`) Fine.

( xƒΦx) Look, Grandpa's dead forever. Ha Ha.

( LƒΦ`) There, now are you happy, you microcephalic twit?

862 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 11:54

( E-E) No. That takes all the fun out of it.

863 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 12:28

(EΝE) Awwwww, too bad so sad bye bye.

864 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 13:26

( LƒΦ`) I think you're worse than that fatass...

865 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 13:29

(EΝE) Grandpa, do you think when we get to the 9th thread iteration, the combined post will be over 9000?

866 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 14:08

( LƒΦ`) No, it'll be somewhere around 8990

867 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 15:59

(@₯ิm₯ิ) Dad, what was life like before the Inter- oh, you answered that one already.

868 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 16:23

( LƒΦ`) You missed most of the last week's shooting, son. What happened?

869 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 16:24

(@₯ิm₯ิ) I couldn't find my script. Sorry about that. What page are we on?

870 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 16:46

( E-E) We're on the one that sucks.

871 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 17:18

( LƒΦ`) That would be any page with your dialog on it, Beady. Try to be more specific.

872 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 18:02

( E-E) This while play sucks. Though I'll admit some pages suck more than others.

873 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 18:15

@@@@@@„‘\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\„’
@@@@@@b@We used to read books, Junior...@ b
@@@@@@b@@@ Θ Θ@@@@@@@@ @ @ @ @ .b
@@@@@@b@@@(@LƒΦ`j ^|@@@@@@@@@@@ b
@@@@@@b.@@ i‚Β|PP|@ |@@@@@ @ @ @ @ .b
@@@@@@b@@@‚Ζ__|book|^@@@@@@@@@@@@b
@@@@@@b.@@@@@PP@@@@@@@@@@ @ @ .b
@@@@@@b@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @ @ @ b
@@@@@@„€\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\„£

@@@@@|PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP|
@@@Θ ΘP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP|
@@ i@@@jPP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP|
@@|PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP||PPP|

874 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 18:41

(EΝE) Grandpa, how did people download books without the internet?

875 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 19:40

( LƒΦ`) They would physically transport themselves to a bookstore or library and obtain a physical copy directly.

876 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 20:22

(EΝE) How many kilobits a second is that?

877 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 22:19

( LƒΦ`) None until you have the book in hand, then all of 'em at once.

878 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 23:05

(EAE) Grandpa, I've got the flu!

879 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 23:08

( LƒΦ`) Back when I was your age, the flu got you! Boy, were you lucky if you survived the 1918 pandemic.

880 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 02:38

( LƒΦ`) ...or the 1340s pandemic. All those negroes scurrying along.

881 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 03:11

(EAE) Grandpa, that's racist !

882 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 03:56

( LƒΦ`) Back in my day, being a Racist meant that you raced your Negro-drawn buggy against other people

883 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 05:06

(EΝE) Isn't it unfair to race Negroes against horses because the Negro, being bred solely for sport, can beat any horse?
( LƒΦ`) We cut off their legs first.

884 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 15:10

( E-E) Grandpa no chinchi wa chisai da yo. Yopparai mou! Honto, gomenasai.

885 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 15:55

( LƒΦ`) What's that? You're making tacos?

886 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 15:58

(EΝE) He said, "Grandpa, no shins were chiseled on this day, yo. Yabba dabba doo! On to go, my nasal."

(EΝE) I don't get it.

887 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 15:59

( LƒΦ`) Darn. I'm jonesing for some taco action right about now.

888 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 16:27

(EΝE) What was life like before books?

889 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 16:53

( LƒΦ`) We had scrolls, Junior. You rolled them straight out and there was none of that bothersome "page-turning" you had to do, but it was hell keeping them clear from mould or the effects of age and weather.

890 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:06

(EΝE) What was life like before scrolls?

891 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:14

( LƒΦ`) We had stone tablets, Junior. They lasted for ages and ages and ages, but they were impossible to carry around and you'd be lucky if you ever got to use one yourself - you had to fetch a stoneworker (and a literate stoneworker at that) and dictate your message to him, and you'd always have to pay the most outrageous fees. Mostly, we left the stone tablet business to the temples and the guards.

892 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:15

( LƒΦ`) We all sat around the fire and together, we made enough noise to keep the wolves awake.

893 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:16

(EΝE) Did they have 4-Ch on stone tablets?

894 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:19

( LƒΦ`) No. Just a bunch of Hammurabi legal mumbo jumbo.

895 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:19

( LƒΦ`) No, but we did have 4-ch on the city walls. Mind you, if you were caught actually "writing" on the city walls, the guards would visit the most terrible punishments upon you.

896 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:20

(EΝE) Wait, what was that about fire?

897 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:20

( LƒΦ`) One of the Clonepas has grown old, I see...

898 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:23

( LƒΦ`) Damn kids are in our apple tree again!

899 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:24

(EΝE) Did Nida demand Apolojuice when he was caught writing on the walls?

900 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 17:24

(@₯ิm₯ิ) Hey dads. Got any nachos?
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