GIRLS ON BOARD EXPLAIN (125)

1 Name: Curious George : 2006-09-08 16:51 ID:mR3G5vjs

Attraction to jerks like moths to a flame? why? I know you aren't stupid - you know exactly how things will work out, yet you persist. please explain.

76 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-05 02:01 ID:ztZUNkIj

Girls like drama.

Jerks create drama.

Girls like jerks.

77 Name: Josou : 2007-04-05 04:57 ID:+hpQ9L+X

I think far too many males here subscribe to the ladder theory. Let's face it, the so-called theory is only believed in by whiny crybabies who rather than face that the problem is their shyness, or fear of being outgoing, instead like to blames girls and say that girls are dumb and like being harassed. Then they apply the so-called theory and get a drink in the face, unless they pick a particularly self-loathing girl who wants attention, especially degrading attention.

78 Name: Josou : 2007-04-05 04:59 ID:+hpQ9L+X

>>77

Of course, myself included as one of those whiny crybabies.

79 Name: Seraphius : 2007-04-05 05:24 ID:60U/1kCY

>>77

Agreed. And I think what comes into quesion is that people do not seem to grasp what the "end result" of all of this is.

The only way to succeed is to get over your shyness, even if just for a moment of strength, and (pardon the cliche'ness) BE YOURSELF. If you have to force an unnatural behavioral pattern on yourself to "get a girl" you are in effect lying about who you are in the first place. Which, btw, diminishes the possibility of anything long term.

It is even more tragic that the most commonly applied template is that of the "fake jerk". Well you want to know why all of the real jerks "get the girls" because most jerks are self absorbed and truly think that they are better than everyone else 24/7, they genuinely love themselves (and maybe no one else at times). Its not the horrible evilness and cheatery that is attractive, but the CONFIDENCE. And being clingy shows the lack thereof.

I guess what I am really trying to say is that it is pointless to change yourself for the purpose of finding love. Instead change yourself for the purpose of bettering yourself. Because if you do not love yourself enough to try to become a better more well rounded person, then you probably should stay as far away from the opposite sex as possible, for everyone's sake.

80 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-14 09:06 ID:z9l+Eds0

>>77

Agree wholeheartedly.
No wonder so many people on this board are alone, ha ha.

81 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-15 04:15 ID:Heaven

People who don't believe in the ladder obviously has never met an american girl.

82 Name: Seraphius : 2007-04-16 04:01 ID:60U/1kCY

>>81

People who DO believe in the latter are stupid enough to think that they want the average american girl.

83 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-16 21:42 ID:Heaven

There's such a thing as an above average american slut huh? Hah, you'll need to provide a source for that claim.

84 Name: AK : 2007-04-17 04:32 ID:xOFs+Uv6

>>27

Somehow, I believe this trait of insecurity you refer to is not merely insecurity; more likely it's something biological.

Confidence makes you look like you know what you're doing, and that you know how to work things out -- i.e. you know how to survive.

Survival is a biological trait. Not surprisingly, people also tend to rely and look up to those who are able to subsist in even the direst of circumstances. Doesn't matter if they can or not, so long as they LOOK like they can do it, that's good enough. It's pretty understandable why women look up to jerks then.

Although the confidence is probably a side-effect of being too oblivious to the fact that they don't know enough about the world, although they think they do, it still does translate into attraction.

And like I said, because the whole thing's biological, it doesn't mean that even in the future, with all the insecurity having been supposedly wiped out, women are going to be less attracted to the jerk-types.

Personally, I wouldn't bother. If you're in school, it's all about the popularity game, and of keeping up with trends.

My advice? Wait your time until the idiots die out. In the meantime, build up your chops, whatever it is that you possess; music, your brains, books, computers, etc. Believe me, in the long run, chicks will dig that a lot more once they've grown up and start seeing things in a clearer light. (Or, when they start hearing their biological clocks ticking away.) They'll like the intelligent guys more.

------------------------------------------------------

Another thing.

It may seem unfair that:

1) Women don't pay nice guys attention, and instead go for jerks who'll probably hurt them (and often do), and they then come running to you for support, when you've always promised yourself that you could treat the girl a thousand times better.

2) And, though they've happily endured romantic times with jerks while you waited endlessly, they suddenly come to you when you've made a name or money, when they had never paid attention to you before; especially if they want to get married to someone 'stable'.

I guess nothing really can be done about the above, but look on the bright side: By that time, it's not them who have the choice of selecting a partner, it's YOU. So make sure you let them know, whether subtly or not, that you're making the choice, and if they don't fit up to your criteria or work their way up your books, they're not going to stay with you.

85 Name: AK : 2007-04-17 04:37 ID:xOFs+Uv6

>>72

Actually, it works. And one other thing I've to share: learn to say no.

It was incredibly difficult for me to say no to anything my first crush wanted to do, or when she asked for help. I'd be her little puppy, doing whatever she beckons or even slightly hints at. I think it comes with the lack of experience.

But after that, I learned to say no, and I pushed myself to gain lots of courage. I'm not a jerk, but neither am I being made subservient either, and girls DIG that.

86 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-17 04:44 ID:xOFs+Uv6

Also, show that you have an opinion. Disagree with girls. Girls for some reason like to "win" a conversation. It gives them some sort of trump card over you. Let them know the fallacies of their arguments, and kick their asses.

Of course, this is a double-edged sword: either they'll adore you (though they won't show it), or they'll hate it.

87 Name: smookie : 2007-04-17 06:35 ID:2J/oYyfl

>>1 it depends on the girl.

i like a guy who wants to wear a collar. so I don't like jerks. but the guy who wears a collar can't be a wuss either.

88 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-17 08:30 ID:ntgYudg0

This is related to >>85 about saying no and/or not taking shit from a girl.

A girl my friend likes, sends him an email saying telling that he is an asshole for talking trash behind her back. He likes this girl and would never say anything that is truely hurtful about her (he jokes sometimes, but is never serious). However, rather than saying something like "I am sorry, I didn't mean to say it" or "I would never anything to hurt you." His reply was "Look woman, I say whatever the hell I want..." and goes on with is email asking if she got to eat some of the cookies he gave to her roommate. He ends the email saying "You have a big mouth, you better watch out before it gets you in trouble." And in the entire email, he never calls her by her name, insteads calls her woman or shawty.

And this is not the first time something like this happened to him. A girl from his high school called him a jerk for saying shit about one of her friends. He respond by, as he puts it by "skeeting words on her face," which was a literal verbal assault. She emails him back after that and APOLOGIZES TO HIM.

If you know my friend is not a jerk or an asshole. He understands the value of respect and if you do not respect him he will not respect you, that simple. And if, for example, girl disrespects him, he will not lie down and take it, but rather call the person out for the infraction. It is highly likely that tomorrow the girl will be apologizing for her comments. And if not, then he will have no business with her. He won't be disrespected, neither should we.

89 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-27 23:17 ID:lyeh8XNQ

I like them because it means they're always in the wrong. It doesn't matter what happens, the worse thing people are going to feel for me is pity or anguish.
I'm in the right if he's not.

90 Name: Jess : 2007-04-27 23:31 ID:+aVuAYGo

I rather like nice guys, and I find them pleasant and fun to be around. I have a strong distaste for those jerk guys, I never dated in Highschool because I was terrified of ending up with someone like them. But as I've gotten older, and gotten out of that enviornment, I've seen many nice guys and even dated some. I love nice guys because they make me feel good about myself, they make me feel loved, worth something, and that I am able to make someone else happy.

Yes, a lot of girls are attracted to jerks, and I'm not sure why, maybe I missed the train that most girls hop on and aquire this love for them -- but I don't regret it. I'd take a clingy, happy, loving guy over one that would just hurt me in the end. I don't see the attraction for a "challenge" or crap like that. I just want an honest, loving relationship.

I don't have a WHOLE lot of dating experience, only been in one serious relationship, and I'm 20 years old.. but I still thought I'd share that I think nice guys are better. :D

91 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-28 00:04 ID:k+gPdBqD

if you're going out with a jerk, im guessing you don't see them as a jerk. so, their jerk status is in other peoples eyes and you see them as nice because theyre nice around you (could be jerks in other situations when you're not there tho), even tho they really are a jerk anyway. every man is a jerk when they want a girl, theyll want every last bit of the girl's attention, its just they show it in different ways. some may be jerks by physically warding off other people, some may be arty (write songs etc that the girl loves but are really just a load of shit in everyone elses eyes)

maybe thats me being a bit pessimistic, or maybe just realistic.

92 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-04-28 09:56 ID:3jty5/27

>>88
he's a jerk

93 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-03 00:11 ID:HYewW/9S

fag alert

94 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-03 12:41 ID:DN9NOSS8

>>86
Nah. Girls only hate it when you make them feel stupid. Therefore you have to be tactful. Don't corner her with your points and get all serious. They will feel threatened and will generally retaliate by raising their voice or changing to bitchy tone. Keep it light, and don't ever emphasise how right you were afterwards. Dissolve the conversation when it becomes too heated with a "Hm, maybe." or "Eh..whatever -change topic". It's not about being weak, but rather, being modest, tactful and quietly confident.

Of course, some girls deserve to be shot down with logic once in a while. You know the ones; hot, but big mouth and no brains.

95 Name: argg : 2007-05-08 22:34 ID:d2ncYWGo

lol

96 Name: Seraphius : 2007-05-11 06:10 ID:60U/1kCY

>>92

I agree.

>>88

Being so caught up in being respected by others that you assault them, verbally or by any means, is a very jerk-ish thing to do. Especially when you are at fault for the disrespect. It looks like your friend just has an issue with anger or might not see women as people?

Lets say, for sake of example, that the only way to win the hearts of 99.999% of females was to be a flat out jerk and to completely disrespect them. You know what my response to that would be? To hold out for that last .0001%. It's not worth losing your sanity, soul or self. I would rather have someone fall in love with me for either my good and real qualities, or not at all.

Being confident and maintaining your own opinions on things and not backing down from your convictions is one thing, one very important thing if I do say so myself. But being willingly hurtful and insulting in the process in completely unacceptable, in all situations.

Even your worst enemies deserve your respect. (and when they don't, it should be given anyway)

97 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-15 04:18 ID:XLM46AAy

I'm a girl and i'm not attracted to jerks and have never understood myself why some girls like guys who treat them like shit.

98 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-15 22:26 ID:Heaven

>>97
no girls on internet

99 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-16 01:28 ID:hi/2TgLy

I've read the whole thread.
Looks like people without strong spine and confidence could kill or castrate themselves and it won't change the gene pool

100 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-16 02:45 ID:XCpPQ9lk

100 GET

101 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-16 06:10 ID:XLM46AAy

>>98 lol, that's what you think. You guys are just paranoid and think everyone who says they're a girl are really guys pretending to be. GIrls can use computers too you know.

102 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-16 12:12 ID:9/1/2Ew3

>>101

>GIrls can use computers too you know.
>GIrls
>GIrl
>GIr
>GI

103 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-18 14:49 ID:z+Y73JG2

>>63
First of all, none of this "girls like..." generalization for me, thanks. i've been a girl long enough (20 years lawl) to know that not all women are the same, in romantic habits or any other type of traits.

Secondly, some girls like more polite men, and others like more brash men. What i personally value most - and what most of my friends seem to value most - is honesty and good intentions. Looking for a sex-driven relationship? Fine. i want to know that, so that i can decide if that's what i'm going for, and i want safe sex, and i want you to care about how much i'm enjoying it as much you care about how much you're enjoying it. Want a romantic relationship with flowers? That's fine too! i want to establish strong, healthy lines of communication along with the bed covered with rose petals.

Of course, i'm in San Francisco, and thus am immersed in a rather distinct culture regarding romance/lurve/sex. Unless you're in a place like SF or NY, YMMV.

104 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-19 22:59 ID:Heaven

>>103
...
If I had lived at your area, I so would have tried to ask you out.
If I wouldn't be with my S.O., that is.

Just, wow.
<3
You give me hope regarding mankind.
Thank you!

105 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-20 05:21 ID:z+Y73JG2

>>104
Hehe... You're welcome... ? :D

106 Post deleted by moderator.

107 Post deleted by moderator.

108 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-21 19:09 ID:Heaven

*takes a bite of >>107 *
..Yep yep, troll. ::pours some bbq sauce on him and takes another bite:: Still bad, but at least it tastes slightly better now.

109 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 17:35 ID:jvYFCill

well, the way I see it, if guys complain about girls going for "jerks" as they see them, they have only themsleves to blame.

First off - why do they view them as jerks in the first place?  Is it just a general dislike of the person, or is it some kind of jealousy complex because they see these "jerks" as only wanting to get into a girl's pants or something - when in reality they could be projecting their own insecurities about wanting to do the very same thing(although with "higher" motives, they say).
Lastly, is it a girl's fault if the "jerks" make themselves known far better? How the hell is a girl supposed to "look into someone's heart" or "find the good, quiet guy" when they're too shy or nice to make themselves known properly, and really sell themselves? Why would she just walk past all the confident, attractive guys to go look for the quiet guy standing near the wall, staring awkwardly?

110 Post deleted by moderator.

111 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-23 13:37 ID:Heaven

>>110
Who you really are has nothing to do with it. Who everyone else is, on the other hand, has everything to do with it.
Your statement was as silly and intentionally provocative as if you would have said that men are only good for slapping around.
Both are equally false.

Besides, you're less bitter to munch on with some spicy sweet sauce on. Hmmm... Some honey-mustard as well, perhaps?
Are you a cave or a forest troll? Cave trolls have thicker skin, living in cold caverns and all, and need to be grilled for a longer amount of time.

112 Name: Eric Cartman : 2007-05-24 05:22 ID:68QwPapV

>>109

They view them as jerks because that's what they are. And since when is it the guy's job to "sell himself?" Ladies don't really put forth much initiative to begin with so it's a double standard. And yes, any girl who goes for a jerk just because he makes himself known is a fucking fool. Paris Hilton makes herself known just fine and the guys who pine after her are just as stupid.

113 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 12:54 ID:kpXcMvDs

Girls who like jerks are stupid girls unworthy of attention. Never dated a man like that since I'm not that kind of a girl.

Then again, we can always talk about the intellectual jerks, egocentric ones, those are actually very good to hang out with, because i myself am egocentric and that's how it goes, i have my privacy he has is own, it's a shared feeling for who we both are.

So it makes sense that stupid girls like jerks.

114 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 05:03 ID:+W2YiAtr

>>113
aim:fieldcauldron

115 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 05:24 ID:Heaven

aim:sucks

116 Name: ND : 2007-07-21 04:29 ID:EhrHXgXk

Yeah, I have to agree with >>1 I really don't understand why the jerk types get a lot of ladies...Do many jerks have some sort of magical libido in their arsenal?

117 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 21:50 ID:qFuC5kjq

Hello I am an obnoxious, unintelligent teenage male jackass and I get all the girls.

118 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 22:50 ID:Heaven

Male jerks attract female jerks, both, as it turns out, are frequently athletic and attractive.

119 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 23:07 ID:XTlnXjG1

120 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-25 17:59 ID:Tr8Pj1jd

121 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-25 18:06 ID:Heaven

>>1

>I know you aren't stupid

uhm, how?

122 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-25 21:55 ID:QN9J6pHs

>>121

why would I automatically assume//brand girls as stupid? that's even MORE stupid.

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