Dang! I wanted the 1000th! haha
I'm not so sad about being single, but it DOES get lonely sometimes. I like this guy, but he's way out of my league. I can't even help myself. Today, I wanted to ask him "Can I sex with you?" =_=" I'm not even that type of woman. He's just so dense and hard to understand. Plus, he keeps sending me mixed messages.
>>550
Giggerota the Wicked? Shouldn't you be performing your wifely duties?
I think the 1 thing that gets me depressed, is my height, i'm just below the average height, maybe even lower, but compared to many people, i am the shortest. I walk around the streets and such and i find that many couples, have tall guys. Which pretty much puts me down.
>>551
I totally hear you. I'm in the exact boat. Unfortunately for me, we kind of got into this awkward phase where we're just ignoring each other now. I think it was because he started talking to the last guy who liked me (and I naively confided in). It makes it easier to feel indifferent towards him when he ignores me. The mixed signal thing really messed up my head. Regardless, I still think that he's good looking, smart, charming, funny and interesting. But if it's not to be, it's not to be. I'm in no hurry.
Still lonely. The saddest part is, I think I might have to hook up with some guy at an anime convention.
shudder
But really, the person i am after is bi. Bi in highschool = HEY LOOK AT ALL THIS ATTENTION I AM GETTING. Despite my loneliness, should i go for it? y/n.
>>549
Arr, it's me again~
Just a little update. Me and the guy I like still hang out. We attempted to go to the movies again last week, but ended up just walking around. We're locking arms a lot now and sometimes hold hands. That's a good sign, right?
I can't seem to really say anything when his friends are around, but I guess that's okay. He still doesn't seem to mind sitting in silence, but he's very twitchy. He always has to drum at things, but eh.
When we hug now, he kinda pats my back. Does that mean anything? I still think it's a bit too soon to ask what he thinks of me or anything...but things are still going well.
Shucake
Frigid Onanoko wanna say a lot but not know enough to justify telling you off. The situation not seem bad but FO worried about lack of pace. More important, the physical contact is not proportional to the amount of 'feeling' you have for this guy. It is obvious that you want to be physical with him, but don't give hugs and especially holding hands for free. He'll get spoiled. Spoiled boys walk away because they fail to see their benefactor as such. They no thankful! They betray the giving girls nyah!
So you still have him and he show increasing affection. Make sure to require some of his own effort. You can give him hints but he'll have to figure out on his own that he loves you. (Probably he doesn't know it yet - assuming you two match in the first place.) Since for you this seem the first time you begin to love, go at your own pace, as long as you do keep a pace.
FO suggest you find a song with some suggestive lyrics. Find song that properly give the proper hints and then find stuff about song. Google for history, of band or whatever. Say that it your favourite (if it has a message you agree with, that become really easy) and just have plenty of things to say about. The goal is that when you recommend it, you give it so much significance that it'll have to finally get through his dumb head that he should listen to it carefully. When it come to picking up signals, disposable coffee cups can be more receptive than many guys. Nobody ever told them what to listen to, that's the problem. So it not may work. Worst case is if he ask whether you 'intend to give some message to him.' Normal reaction is to get pissed and negate, just because he such an idiot. Better to leave it open. Tell him, 'I like the song, so if you think it has some special meaning, please tell me.' Or whatever. He will have to bring up the theme of some closer relationship, never you.
Maybe a month after he crushed you under his kisses, you might confide how you had a crush on him for a long time. His ego cannot handle such a thing beforehand. So spare him.
Wish you luck, FO say bye now!
Shucake keep us updated!!
>>556
lie back, spread your legs and yell "stick it in me cowboy!"
no
no
no
what she should do is tell him "i heard you have cock and i love cock so give me cock"
>>557
Thank you, FO.
Haha, the guy isn't my first love, but he is probably the first guy I've gotten close to like this that I didn't meet online. We hug, but it's not everyday or anything.. just after we hung out together and we're heading home. Should I stop reaching for his hand when we hang out together? He really isn't the one to start things other than the hug. One of my friend's think he just might be shy.
As for what's been going on.. we haven't gotten around to doing anything after school this week. He still askes if I want to go to lunch with him. Yesterday one of my friends was with us and she doesn't like the guy at all. And he didn't seem too spiffy with her. So it was very awkward, especially since my friend didn't want him to know her name (she really hates it for some reason) so I was caught between her wanting me to keep quiet about it and him wanting me to say it. He found it out eventually after some hints.. and I quickly finished my lunch and went off with my friend to get them seperated.
It was all.. pretty silly, yeah. But it kinda helped me talk more openly to him. As open as I could when in a nervous, giggly, fit. -_-
I'm pretty much single and lonely. It's not that it is hard to talk to a girl, it's just that if you have one bad experience with a girl.. it tends to haunt you for life :/ Which happens to me on numerous occassions. how would I counter that?
>>562 look for the right girl next time... Theres gotta be at least one which you will find perfect for you :)
Thats also a problem I have although I am confident for the most part when talking to girls. However I think its espeicially hard when you have a bad experience with one girl in school, because she will probably tell her friends and then everyone in that girls social circle will develop some biased opinion of you.
I'm a fat, depressed, anxious chick with ED-NOS.
So yeah, lonely would be my middle name.
So to all you hikki's and partial hikki's, turn off the pc, get out of the house, and make some friends before you become like me.
>>529 here.
Well, I'm going to ask her out next time I see her.
We're already friends and all, so I don't think it makes sense to ask her on a date or something first off as so much it seems to confess my feelings to her.
Any suggestions on how to approach this?
I've been following this thread for a while, using it as a kind of real life soap opera. I thought I might de-lurk for a moment to give some people a view into this sad creature which is myself.
There's this girl I like (how original, but you have to start somehow.) I met her through the language school I attend; she's not my teacher (if that were the case I think I would give up instantly) but rather she's undertaking training to become one. The very first time I saw her, I was initially distracted by her looks (clothing style to be more precise), but what eventually got me was her amazing niceness. Genuinely good people are very rare around here and she's simply amazing.
We meet in a social setting (school-related but unofficial) once a week and in school once a week. We always say hi and often talk, whether it be at the weekly gatherings or around school. Over time I've been developing a crush, and as always, this is where the problems begin.
Due to past situations my fear of rejection is incredibly high. Rejections in high school were all really harsh. In university this one girl decided she would make me a stalker, and ruined my reputation. Anyway whatever the root cause, it had me in a situation where I was content to remain in this crush limbo and enjoy the fuzzy feelings inside every time I meet her. On another thread I probably remarked something to this effect, saying that I would never want to lose it.
But lately I'm not so sure. I wouldn't say I've been fantasising, but my feelings have been becoming somewhat stronger. It's at the point now where my brain is running simulations of asking her out, but still not actually letting me do it. For example, today there was a moment where the two of us were actually alone, which would usually be the right time to bring such things up. One part of me would say "here's the line, just say it", and the other part would throw that shit in the incinerator and crisp it up.
I get the feeling that if I manage to say half a confession, I will end up stuttering or saying something else for the second half due to this resistance. Really great comedic effect in romantic comedy, but not so fun if you're a victim of it. If I succeed in saying it and she turns me down, I'm sure she's the kind of person who won't do anything bad as I trust her a lot. But for some reason my brain won't let me get out of this situation, like it has a happiness filter designed to prevent me getting what I want.
Anyway I'll end it here as it's already a rant. Don't laugh too hard.
>>567 don't worry, no need to be insecure about this. Frigid Onanoko give you 100% guarantee if you confess, you will be turned down. Dropped like a brick. Maybe more like deceased animal? Something like that. Probably not so directly, more like the way you icky-eww walk around roadkill on the road.
Or maybe you would like to give a reason why she should be impressed by you. If you can convince FO that your target might want to be with you, then you have chance.
Not much more to say. FO say bye now!
>>567
Well, FO was harsh.
but his my view. Don't confess... or atleast don't say "I love you" or something similar.
that is too direct for a situation like this. Depending on how long both her and you known and talked to each other. You may have to try a more indirect or casual approach.
Instead of saying, I like you. Ask her out on a date. not just some friendly outing, but just a nice simple date.
If she refuses, move on, don't worry, I don't think she'll hate you for it is you don't come on too strong. And if she does, she's a bitch and getting involved with her would have been more trouble than it's worth. And there are plenty of other women out there that give alot less trouble out in the world.
Remember, after that, if you are rejected, you can still remain friends... except you HAVE to stop treating her like you like her and just treat her as a friend. If you can't do that, you can't be friends.
Just put that fish back in the ocean and wait for the next one to pull on your string.
But if you succeed. Thumbs up.
There's actually a movie I want to watch coming out this week. I'm going to watch it regardless but I will for the hell of it, try to invite her. It's horror though so refusal could mean a dislike of the genre. Then again if she really did like me, she would probably go unless she really, really, really had something against it.
And FO was harsh, yeah. Maybe even inaccurate too, as plenty of guys who have no redeeming qualities have girls.
you could ask her to go to A movie. not tell her what it is, kinda make her guess and see how willing she is to go see it with you before telling her what it is.
of course...you may end up going to 2 movies in that case- one by yourself and then whatever movie she wants to see as the 2nd. Especially if "what movies do you like' comes up in that conversation.
I will see if that strategy works. She may be able to guess what kind of movie it is actually, as I'm sure I've talked about horror when she was in the group. And two movies would be double the time with her, which is positive too.
Every additional day feels so much longer. Today this somehow translated to work; I was able to complete two day's worth of decent work in one seemingly long day. When I run the scenario through in my head my heart starts pounding and I can only imagine how much harder it's going to be with her standing in front of me. Times like this I start to think how inconvenient the human body is.
I just found this thread and wanted to vent, so here goes. I will try not to make it longer than it needs to be.
I'm single and I've never had a boyfriend or done anything with a guy besides danced and a kiss on the cheek. It bothers me and I've been lonely for a very long time.
I'm just transfered to a 4 year college after I got my Associates and I hardly know anybody. Problem is I'm more shy than I'd like to admit. I feel like I've made progress over the last few years with the help of some Zoloft and a therapist, but coming to a completely different situation has made me crawl back into my shell again. My therapist says that a huge change takes time to adjust, but everyday I still feel the loneliness of no real friends and no boyfriend.
Haha, it doesn't help that more than half of the guys that go to my college are gay and the girls outnumber the guys by a lot.
Still, I only hope that I will acquire some real friends soon, because I am trying even if my efforts may be in vain, and maybe a boyfriend later on. I just don't like how my long-bottled-up loneliness gets to me so often.
That's all.
My university was like that (only the opposite ratio.) When I would go to classes the ratio would be 10:1 and it would seem like the ratio was 5:1 when walking around campus. Then I joined a couple of clubs and discovered that some clubs had an unusually high female ratio. Not to mention the clubs were in general, good for making normal friends.
Still I didn't get a girl throughout my entire time in university, the depression from that probably contributed to my backing out before getting the second degree of my double degree.
My battle is tonight. My stomach is churning... I thought it was hunger but eating lunch hasn't stopped it at all. My mind is already trying to rationalise a way out of saying anything at all.
Can I post if I'm not technically single? :(
See, I'm seeing a guy (waves girl flag), and I don't exactly want to. He's a great guy, probably my best friend, but he's also an annoying clingy weeaboo b-tard who has NOT FUCKING LURKED. I think I'd be fine with the b-tard shit if it weren't for the fact that I know more about the memes he's always pointlessly spouting at the most inopportune moment. And I rarely if ever go on /b/.
Anyway, yeah, I'm being a total pussy about breaking up with him, because I'm scared of not having him as a friend any more.
Doesn't help that I have multiple others I'm interested in, none of who anything will ever happen with.
One is this guy I met a few months ago... he flirted with me, I flirted with him, things were progressing pretty well. Only problem was, he was only in my state for a short visit, then he went back home (~1000 miles away). We still IM each other sometimes, but it's not the same at all. Nothings going to happen unless he moves out here, and that's not going to happen any time soon.
The other is a girl I see about once a month. (Lol, bisexual attention whore.) Not likely that anything's going to happen there either, because I don't think she's interested in other girls.
Eh, it's an okay situation, I guess. Other than the occasional pangs of horniness, I'm not too interested in romance. Just wish I was better at meeting people in general.
>>575
is there a club or something at your university? like a gaming club or oragami? just attend the meetings and just sit there. you don't have to even talk to anyone. sit there long enough and either you'll become comfortable enough to talk to the guys there or the guys will talk to you. i mean come on, guys dig shy girls ~_^
I have to rant. The other day I realized that my standards are impossibly high, and that, not shyness, is the reason I've never seriously dated anyone. I can tick off a very long list of everything I want some potential girlfriend to be. Mainly I want someone who doesn't find me weird and would want to hang out with me a lot. But I make most of that judgement based on how they react to me when I talk to them as a friend. So far the only success I've had is when I go out on a blind date and the girl clearly wanted to end with something exciting, and even then I was thinking to myself "she probably won't last too long with me if we date."
I'm constantly imagining that there has to be someone else at my college who has the same problem. How would I ever meet someone like that? A dating site? I dunno.
Your standards are not high,... They are unrealistic.
Big difference.
Solution: develop a real interest for other people, instead of just searching someone to love yourself.
>I want someone who doesn't find me weird and would want to hang out with me a lot.
>Your standards are not high,... They are unrealistic.
Yes, that's absolutely unreasonable. I mean imagine, the thought of a girlfriend who actually likes you and enjoys your company. Talk about setting the bar too high.
Absolutely, your wishes are purely self referencial, and probably that is part of the problem.
I'm not saying you are setting the bar to high,... just handling it the wrong fashion
"When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?"
>>Yes, that's absolutely unreasonable. I mean imagine, the thought of a girlfriend who actually likes you and enjoys your company. Talk about setting the bar too high.
Remember: this is 4-ch. For any of us, that's setting the bar too high.
>>584
Hey, the blind date turned out pretty well... I just need to force myself to talk to people more, I think.
I need a mute woman so I wouldn't have to talk all the time.
Say any love story involving lonely nerdy engineers out there? I could use some good one.
>>587
love stories involving lonely nerds you say? alost EVERY one of them are related to this concept.
This man speaks the truth. Frankly, nerds are the only people who really need love stories. Everyone else lives it.
That's somewhat true, though I'm a nerd and I'm living a love story. Albeit an odd one.
Help my girlfriend found out I was asking for dating advice on here and dumped me.
What should I do?
All though this probably isn't the right thread explain to her what happened. That you had good intentions. Hopefully you did.
Your girlfriend is insecure and she sucks. And show her this post, too.
your girlfriend is narrow-minded - you were soliciting advice for both of your relationship's own good. unless she's hermes. kita!
She should have used the guy's furry porn collection. That's usually the first thing they find.
>>591 She probably assumed that everything you did was merely a product of strangers' advice. She probably feels that her privacy has been compromised and that you were insincere.
I feel the same way if my partner consults the horoscope. I mean what the shit is that? Taking advice from some columnist they don't even know... where do they get off?
I've been reading and I also want to rant a little.
I'm single single single, as I always have been--nothing even so daring as holding hands, other than in a platonic way. I've liked people, and never had the nerve to confess, cause I have no confidence and I know that I'm really...odd, and thus undesirable. That, and I'm only attracted to asian guys...do you know how rare it is to see an asian guy with an american girl?
Anyway, there's this (asian) guy I like now, at the same college as me. He's amazing; he speaks three or so languages fluently, he likes cats, he plays guitar, and he is as attractive as someone could be to me. The best part is his personality: he is also odd (in different ways), somewhat antisocial, and puts off this air of confidence despite it (yes, I find all this attractive).
The first problem is that I don't have the nerve to talk to him when he is alone, only when he's with someone I know, and then it's just something like "hi". Whenever I see him in the library or whatever, I get this intimidating feeling of "He's really cool...I'm really...not. I don't deserve to speak to him." It's probably stupid to think now, when I just want to know him better so I can test what he thinks of me, but I'm dumb like that.
The second problem is that he may still have a girlfriend back in france. I was kind of shocked for a while when I found out, and then I realized that his girlfriend who may or may not currently exist is in france....I am not. And I genuinely do not believe that type of thinking is wrong. If I discovered from him that he really liked her, then I would give up. But right now, I can't stand to sit back and watch some girl halfway across the world fail to like him as much as I do.
And at the same time as I'm thinking such strong thoughts, my lack of confidence is keeping me from even being friends with him, and makes me feel more like never leaving my room. The end.
Well at least you're able to talk to him, if even just a bit. Try talking more when he's around one of your friends, since you find it hard to talk to him alone. After a bit, you should be able to feel more confident and not have it be strange that you're talking to him privately. Don't worry that he may have a girlfriend. No point worrying about it if it may not even be true. Don't bring it up right away. Bring it up when the the time is right. Overall, just be confident and don't worry if you're not cool, though you don't sound like an uncool person.
P.S. The first paragraph is really cute. Rare to see girls like that nowadays.
Can I rant too please? I'm in a mad situation, with prospective ladies everywhere, and going nowhere.
Theres one girl, who is my best friend's housemate. He's all for it but she is /s/ material and KVizzle doesn't really stand a chance. She's really nice though, sweet girl. The next girl is cute and I met her at, er, an anime thing. Not quite sure if she likes me, but signs are good. She's cute, and girls who like anime + games is always good.
Met a girl on the interwebs recently, that went horribly and was made of fail. Who doesn't know what a fucking Jetski is? Lastly, Ex girlfriend from three years ago (we split up because she moved far away) may be coming back, and be interested. Help with advice ladies of the thread!
Some man advice for the shy girls though - Unless the guy you like is a really outgoing person, he's going to really like it if you ask him out for a drink, or a movie or something. Specify just the two of you, he'll like that! If he says no, then you know he's not interested, without the months of awkwardness!
A Jetski is a type of Russian aircraft isn't it?
Officially single now. Fuck yeah. I'm thinking about going after this guy who works at a coffee shop I go to a lot... probably won't get anywhere, because I think he's a lot older than me, but it's still worth a try. Mostly I just want someone to hang out with.
Single now too... Trying to enjoy it.
I used to be fine with it and not care too much, but now I really miss being in a relationship. I mean, I'm getting over him (he's not the same guy I fell for now anyway), but I miss being loved, you know? Annoying as hell.
Doesn't help that he said it was because he couldn't handle a relationship and still loved me, but then got together with a new girl 3 days later.
Sorry, I ranted too...
There's maybe five or six years difference between us, and I don't know him well at all.
Mostly I'm just really happy to have the stress of dating someone gone.
For me, five or six years is the grey zone. Not young enough to be a turn-on in that way and not close enough to my own age for me to identify with.
...diverts...
Still I feel at the moment I would take almost any offer thrown at me, and the thought of this makes me feel a little sad. Whoever did the asking would be playing the part of temporary relief though, so I would feel sorry for them too. But ultimately the guilt of this will cause me to emit an aura that will prevent anyone offering in the first place. orz
Why is it like this, I was happy being single until that one spark had the nerve to flash for a while. WHY.
I'm in love with one of my best friends, and she's dating another best friend. I've already confessed my feelings to her, but she says she can't feel the same way about me. DAMMIT!
Can I be your hazubando and you be mai waifu?
hi
sigh
Maybe im too young to be saying this.... maybe ?
15 years old and i've yet to have a girlfriend.
yet to kiss a girl...
I don't know, something tells me that it isn't that big of a deal, that im still young and that i have alot more to experience... that a relationship right now would not be as great as i think it would.
But the other side of my mind tells me that im growing up without experience ... and that later on i will find it hard to get a girlfriend and have something special.
I seem to have alot of friends who are girls ... but none seem to have any interest in me and to say the truth ... i seem to have no interest in them either.
I don't know...
Maybe i feel like im missing out?
I really want to be with someone, but i find it hard.
At the same time, i havn't really tried.
Whenever i meet a girl, i usually place her in the friend section or whatever.
I never try to go out with them.
I guess i have something on my side then huh?
Girlfriends so far = 0
Rejections = 0
dude you are 15 years old, you have nothing to worry about. there are guys here are much, much older and are in the same situation, you have plenty of time to figure this shit out.
try asking a girl out, within a few days of meeting her. this way you avoid putting her into the "friend section." if you get rejected, the friend option is still there but if you dont want the hassle, then you can easily let her go since you hardly had anything going in the first place.
point is, take some chances and ask some girls out, trust me after a while rejection is nothing. you will always miss the shots the you dont take.
Bleh, I just transferred into a university as a 3rd year a few months ago, and I haven't went out (or made any friends) yet.
I joined the anime club (lol) but of the only two decent women there one rarely comes and seems taken anyway, and the other stopped coming near the start (I guess she had sense).
I still continue to attend as a feeble attempt at being social, though I think most of the people there are weeaboos and/or gam3rs, and I could download and watch at my pace any anime they show.
Also, I'm way too shy to say anything to anyone, anyway.
>>575
Also, hello female me!
Though, you've done more than I have. :(
>>615
don't rely on an anime club to gain a social life - surrounding yourself by people with no social skills (this applies to 90% members of most anime clubs anywhere) is not a good way to meet interesting people.
that said, i'm sure it can be hard to make friends or meet women when you join a university in the third year - i'm quite a shy person myself, but i've been at the same university for two and a half years, so i still have the friends i made in the first few weeks of the first year when everyone was actually open to meeting new people.
although considering my last post in the context of the thread... i may have a few friends but my love life is certainly going nowhere. it doesn't help much that i'm gay but i don't know a single other gay person. maybe i should make a trip to this town's (one and only) gay bar more often.
>>617
Well, I wasn't really hoping to gain "a social life." Just maybe some friends.
Pretty much everyone there has social skills... though, maybe their skills are different from the normal kind. :p But that's still more than I have.
Besides, there's not much else I'm interested in. My school does have a computer club, but the times conflict with one of my classes and I'll probably be even worse there.
>>613
you oughta be concerned though, get your act together and find chicks... you don't want to become old like us with no girls. time may be long (for you) but it ain't gonna wait for anyone.
I'm 22, and age = time without a girlfriend. I went to tech school, so the only women that were around me were in their 40's and trying to jumpstart their careers. Now I'm a working stiff doing 8 - 5 in a cubicle for an IT company. And the female populationn here is even worse than it was in school. Of the 1% of the building that is female, 100% of them are either married with kids, or have boyfriends. So yeah, conditions would have to improve quite a bit for the pickens to even be slim.
And that leaves me with bars as the only source of potential mates. And I'm not too fond of bars (although I do enjoy drinking) as they require I strike up conversation with total strangers with whom I have nothing in common, and I'll probably end up embarassing myself. Plus I'm not really interested in the one night stands that that sort of environment fosters. Not that I would turn one down though...
So yeah, I've come to accept that I'll probably be single forever. The more I try to convince myself that I'm okay with that, the more I realize that if have to try to convince myself of it, it means I'm lying to myself. Man, I wish I didn't have to have a job. I wish I could go back to school, meet people my own age with similar interests, and have fun again. Not to go off on a tangent, but being an adult sucks. When you're young, and your parents say "These are the best years of your life" they know what they're talking about. For the love of God/Buddha/Flying spaghetti monster/Hare Krishna/whatever, listen to them.
>>621
Once you get past the age of 21 and you cannot find people your own age to date anymore, it's time to go for the 18 year old high school girls because they love older men who can get them drunk. Also, you have a car right? They love that. Just don't be fucking creepy.
> your parents say "These are the best years of your life" they know what they're talking about.
I'd say: No, no they don't. Not my life anyway.
I'd like to go back ten years and smack anyone who ever said that to me across the face.
>>622
WTF, is the car the only thing I need? I'm filthy rich but most 18 year olds won't go for me even if I propose an arrangement (some do, but I haven't found any really nice ones yet. My standards are a little high too.) But because I live in a city where public transport is more than adequate and taxis are cheap, I don't bother buying a car.
>>624
Well, are there any other hobbies you like to do other than watching Anime? Do you play any instruments? Are you a good artist? Try and pick up on any of your talents and see if there's a group or any like-minded people in your area you can meet up with. Chances are at least one of them's gonna be a single woman.
As for me, I'm single but not looking to be in a relationship at the moment. I seemed to attract all the psychos back in 2007, one of which is still giving me nightmares now. I've also got a fun (not) evening with one of my ex's tomorrow night. There are times when Women are not worth it, and you just want to stick with your friends instead...
>>622
How is it possible to do that without being creepy? "Nice cheerleader outfit. Wanna get drunk and fuck?" is one small step away from "Nice teddy bear. Want some candy from my non-descript white van?" And I say that as a self-described lolicon.
>>626 It isn't. Even if you do it without being creepy, you're still a creep.
>>625
If it's about single women my own age, I run into quite a few thanks to going to language school. I just haven't run into any I like, with the obvious exception of one.
Well, if she's single and you like her, then go for it. You don't have to have a whole range of options there, if you see one chance then go for it and don't regret it.
Single , 26 . I GAVE UP. Jeezes my life has become a hell..if i could go back and tell my teenage self one thing it would be: kill yourself so i wouldn't be here. kill yourself JAMIE! When you were 18 DONT fall in love with her cuz she will push you away when you will give YOUR first FAILED kiss. After it, you WILL FAIL COLLEGE and run out of "friends" leaving you more broken. Kill yourself because the diagnosis told you that you have AVPD, that's like wanting something but in truth you will never get it. Kill yourself jamie because that is my only hope.
I have never really bothered looking for a girlfriend. After high school ended two years ago, I have spent most of my time at work or night classes. I suppose I should look for one now.
I love too many things by nature. I love fire, I love my friends, I love to eat chocolate. I really mean 'love' and not 'like'. As such, even if I longed for tenderness from times to times, I never really 'needed' a girlfriend. I loved a girl in highschool, though. Spoke to her once or twice. I valued her a lot, but heck, now I realize a good part of it would've been idealization.
So I decided to wait and not chase. I tried, once, as I was feeling down - didn't work, I dropped the case before we even could do anything, could've been a one-night-stand or a relationship, I didn't care. I didn't love her. I didn't care. I still had the other one somewhere on my mind, though.
Something like six years later, I realized that I didn't really love the first one. It wasn't true, it was just an excuse for the fact no-one around me felt worth of more than the love I give to everything I do.
And I met this girl. I found her cute and charming and intelligent. She was great. I met her at parties, with friends. Every time we would chat a little bit. And I would discover a part of her universe. Never in my life did I feel that connected to someone. She has everything I could dream of in a human being. When I'm around her, I don't feel alone (not alone as in "no friends and stuff", but alone as "no one on this goddamn earth is like me"). I think I discovered what alter-ego means.
And I think we'll never be in a relationship. Impossible. She didn't want to get closer before I moved out (some 250km farther, not that far, though), so I suppose she's already been disappointed by a distanced relationship. And I strongly suppose she likes a very charismatic friend of mine, and I suppose he likes her too.
I talked with him about it, and strangely he told me he'd support and help me, and never try anything with her. I trust him. But still, I don't think it will work.
I'm so mindfucked that I have a hard time even following a casual conversation with people around me.
Damn.
I knew I'd destroy myself the day I'd really fall in love.
The girls I like keep dating my friends instead. Or in one case, marrying one. It's not like I can just turn off the physical attraction and forget all the times I fapped to them. Or in at least one case actually fucked them before they started dating my friend. It's frustrating.
And all the girls I do end up dating turn out to be batshit insane. Sure, the sex is good for awhile but then I just can't put up with the craziness.
And then one of my friends girlfriends gets drunk and tells me, "I made a mistake, YOU would have been a better boyfriend" and then tries to get me to fuck her behind my friends back!
Fuck all of that. Women are crazy. My right hand never tried to kill me/itself, stole shit from me, went nuts and had to be committed, cheated on me, or any of the other bullshit that women have done to me.
bump
>My right hand never tried to kill me/itself, stole shit from me, went nuts and had to be committed, cheated on me, or any of the other bullshit that women have done to me.
Yeah, that's part of the reason why I stopped actively pursuing relationships/sex and just bought a fleshlight. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.
>>634 here.
I made up my mind. After some days of slowly falling into a mild depression, I shook myself up and set things straight in my head.
I will carry on as I did before. I'll set my goals for the future as to work, get money, and then travel all over the place to see my friends, wherever they may hide in the future. Especially her.
I'm going to love everything just a bit more. After all, it's all in my mind so no one but me can do anything to it. If I want it, they can't shield themselves from love. They can't prevent me. They can do things like not answering, be harsh, whatever, I don't care. I'm stronger than they are.
And I'll tell her that. I'm going to tell her exactly how I feel. How much I love everything in this godforsaken world, every instant, everything really. And that amongst all those things, she managed to get a special place. That it's not a problem if she doesn't love me. I'm above that, I'll just keep it in my head, and we'll carry on. At least I'll do.
Fuck it all. Fuck all of your fears, all of your regrets, all of your remorse, all of your anguish, all of your sadness, all of your distress, keep your passions, value them, love them, fling them as high as you can.
I feel that's the best you can do - I feel that's the best I can do.
I live in a small town, and all the guys around here are fucking hicks and wiggers, or gay, or ugly........fucking hell!
I talked to her about the situation I was in. As I thought, she liked my friend. I told her I loved her. A lot. She said sorry. We're okay with that. Neither of us made a choice, so there's no point in thinking the thing over and over again.
We're not children anymore, even if the situation will be a little awkward at first, we'll make it through. Friends is what matters most, anyway.
I just hope that my friend won't put her down not to hurt me; she'd be the one to be hurt, and in the end it's not what I want, heh. Having two friends happy together is great, too.
Well, looks like I'm off for some more years of loneliness on the romantic point of view.
Let's just hope there are some more like her out there. Even if I'll probably need some time to love again, of course.
My stomach hurts a bit, but I got my resolve, I manage to be kind of happy.
>>634
>>638
>>640
Continued. Again.
Looks like I overestimated myself. I'm trying to keep my head out of the water, but I'm slightly losing control. It took some time, but I'm slowly realizing that she'll never be 'mine' (by reflex, I added 'probably' in the last sentence... obviously, it didn't deserve to be there). We'll never bind at the deepest level, and I'll never get to explore her soul as far as I'd want to.
That really leaves me with few things to look at in the future.
I'll still try to kind of stick to my resolve, and do everything I do with as much heart as I can, but... damn, it's going to be hard.
The holidays are over and the traditional weekly meets will resume. I have resolved to continue going to the same place to see the same person knowing that she isn't available because she's great to be around. It's torture in a way, but I have weighed up the torture against the benefit and I'm finding the benefit to be worth the pain.
In doing this I feel a little like a certain character in a certain manga, but that's okay, because my resolution for 2008 is not to fall in love, and I feel that this might help me achieve that.
ITT: pathos, and a fuck ton of it
I have fallen for her already which is why I feel it can't get any worse. I already went through the whole shock phase on finding out she wasn't available. Now my feelings remain but I am grounded in knowing that I have no chance.
In this situation there's not a lot I can do because I know the only way for me to lose an obsession about one person is to start an obsession about another one. This is the danger though, I'll probably end up breaking my resolution by meeting someone else. Maybe that won't be all bad, but given my track record it will be another case of the same.
>>645
I share your pain. And I'm thinking next time won't be before my thirties, given how it went this far, and how good (read: bad) it was this time.
I liked a girl once. Everybody knew it. She started dating someone else. Everyone was afraid to tell me, so much to the point that I was hitting on her one night in front of her boyfriend. So later on they decide to tell me, and it's like, "we didn't know how you'd feel, if you'd be mad or anything". I think the guy was afraid I might want to fight him or something. My friends have weird ideas about me sometimes... But anyway, I just laughed and said, "why would I be mad? I'm a completely shallow individual and am already over it, LOL" Didn't bother me a bit and I stopped pursuing her.
Fast forward. Those two break up. I'm still KINDA interested in this girl, but not really anymore. My friend starts dating her. Again, I'm the last person to find out. Why? My friend says sort of the same thing, like he thought I would be really upset or something. What? What have I done to make my friends think I will turn into a homicidal maniac if I can't date the girl I want (and in this case, didn't even really want anymore)?
What the fuck?
Anyway, being single isn't so bad. At this point in my life having a girlfriend would mean being serious past what I am ready for. Like marriage and kids and shit. Which is why I broke up with my last girlfriend: things were moving too fast, and I wasn't ready to go there again (I'm divorced, and happily so).
I'm over the mixed signals thing. I wish everyone had a luminescent sign over their heads with their relationship status, so that when a woman acts single, never mentions a SO, and doesn't wear a wedding ring, the big-ass orange sign can say NO, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS ONE, BAAAAKA.
>>647
My marriage ended for fundamentally the same reason. Although she went about it the wrong way ("he won't let me have a kid, so let's find someone to fuck who will let me have a kid") instead of speaking out about it and ending things gracefully and sooner. From my side it only looked like the withholding of sex for no reason at all, which should be a crime punishable by death. ;-)
I've got to rant. Any advice might help too...
19, never been on a date with a girl, never held hands, etc. I haven't had any female friends either (unless it's through another one of my male friends). According to some of them though, I'm very attractive (which I still can't bring myself to attribute that to myself) and really shouldn't have any trouble meeting someone.
I'm at a big University and involved in a club (fencing) so there should be plenty of opportunities to at least meet someone. However I'm cursed with being the quiet type of person in lectures and class.
Really though I don't even think I'm that quiet. I'm just bad at starting conversations/meeting people. Particularly with girls. However, of the girls I have gotten to know somewhat, they are not one's I'd be interested in.
So pretty much I'm lonely, I can't start conversations with strangers, and I'm starting to feel like I'll never meet someone.
Fuck you, feelings. Fuck you.
It's horrible when you manage to put them aside, given the girl you love somehow ended up with one of your best friends whom you happen to work with, and they come to slap you right in the face when another friend (the third coworker) tells you he was trying to call him but he hung up and turned his cell off. And he tells you jokingly "He's probably makin' love, lol", because he doesn't even know how deep you have been affected by that girl.
And there you feel a deep physical pain in the chest, a chill, and your mind suddenly blanks up. And when it comes back it's a total mess, and you know you're back down in it, and you have to sort your thoughts once again. It also reminds you that no matter what you might think, hope, pray for, resolve yourself to - there are things about yourself you'll never be able to control. And you imagine them both, and you chase the thought, but it's still there somewhere.
Only time will help.
Fucking time.
And tonight, when you'll finally give up to sleep because you're too tired, at the break of day, you'll dream of them. Once again.