I've recently come to the conclusion that every person I've met at my university is shit. The people I've met outside of uni (who I spend a whole lot more time with anyway) can be great, but they also kind of piss me off. At the moment, I have one close friend I see once every couple weeks because he lives far away and is afraid of driving in the city (and he can be an annoying twat), two other people (plus various people they know), one of whom is pretty kick-ass, the other of whom is cool but can really piss me off. There's another girl, but she's always busy with work and shit. The rest of the people I know are just boring, and I never see anyway.
At uni it's worse. I haven't made any friends, but I don't really care because everyone is shallow and boring. I hear their conversations as I walk around, and I realize that everything they say is worthless.
I want someone to go to concerts with, but in general, the people into the same music as I am are all stuck up, pretentious pricks.
So in essence - I have a bit of a ridiculous superiority complex, that no one here can do anything about anyway.
Other people is Hell, no matter if it's your goddamn soulmate or some prick. You will always feel annoyed by a person after x time,you cannot escape human drama.it is simply inevitable.
Good Luck misanthrope.
look, you are not special, rants liket his are a dime a dozen
you really need to think hard about why you are so pissed off at these people, youre just bitter among other things
>everyone is shallow and boring. I hear their conversations as I walk around, and I realize that everything they say is worthless
That's probably because they aren't actually friends - they are just classmates making small-talk on the way to class, where they will sit in silence never looking at each other. People who are actually friends with each other at uni will usually meet up outside of their class commitments, and I know I prefer to do that off of the university site.
i was in the same situation as you op
you need to sit down and really think about these people and why they make you so mad
your post reeks of bitterness
Find the good in people, don't concentrate on their weaknesses.
Pretentious? Maybe she has a good reason to be and you can learn from her.
Shallow? Could be he tells the best jokes and make you laugh.
Stupid? She just might be the kindest, happiest person you've ever met.
Asshole? Take his criticisms with a grain of salt and use his callous honesty to improve yourself.
Bitter Loner with an Unwarranted Sense of Self-Importance? Well, you might want to stay away from this one.
wow, OP! I feel the exact same way as you. They're all shallow and boring at my university too, almost every last one of them. A few aren't shallow, but are boring, and a few aren't boring, but are shallow. I don't really want anything to do with such people either.
I'm not saying that i'm heaps of fun and hyper interesting, but i'm at least somewhat interesting, and far from shallow.
It's not a case of something being wrong with me or OP, this is a problem faced by non-boring, non-shallow peoples everywhere. It's not always a case of bitterness, and it's not a case of them just seeming shallow cos you don't know them better...it's a case of fact- there are so many more shallow people than real, fun people out there, that it's very hard to find good friends, and put up with the social climate in places like uni. Bitterness tends to result from having to put up with that year after year.
Trying to focus on the good points people have helps, but it only goes so far... there will alwas be times where it gets too annoying and you have to rant about it, as OP has done.
>>8
Yes, you deep, fun people are magical and rare like sparkly unicorns. You guys are just so special.
I feel similarly, OP. Without a goal in mind, I'm taking time off from university. But, I discovered the shallowness, pretentiousness, and hyper-sociality during my time there. This was especially true of those who pursued business, not to enforce stereotypes, but this is personal experience. Likewise, those who were heavy on scientific academia were narrow minded. They can memorize facts, but they didn't know how to be critically aware. In other words, they were used to the education institutions instructing them on 'what' to think, but they never learned 'how' to think for themselves. I'm familiar with a top high school student who got into my university with honors to pursue biology. He had to drop out of philosophy because he was failing it and it would affect his GPA. I know university students who have not read a book in their life. Personally, I don't see anything in drinking. Alcohol is overrated, and by judging the hype the student body gives it, especially with university clubs using pub crawls as a means to attract members, forget the merit of the actual club, people don't seem to really be questioning their values.
I feel you, OP. I was hoping to form some association of like minded students at my university, but good luck finding them.
>>10
Not to overrate myself, but I consider I'm far from shallow and boring. I'm quite educated, have a solid and diverse culture, and enjoy discussing and sharing. I come from a scientific background, and into an artistic career. I can tell you that narrow-minded people do not result from the kind of education they get. At most, it will give them which side to take - rebellious or conformist. Actually the most close-minded people I know are either in art, psychology, sociology, and such.
Also, I like to drink, be it a drink or two with friends or the occasional huge 'let's get shitfaced' party. Because, guess what, it can be fun too. I'm not saying that you have to drink; but considering people as shallow because they do is a proof of yourself being narrow-minded, and doing so you probably miss a lot of really nice meetings.
Well, that's not my point. You're right; really interesting people are rare when you increase your own standards, because you'll seek people that match them. Seems logical to me. But that don't mean you can't enjoy some qualities in people who havent got "the whole pack". That guy might never have opened a book, but he's really knowledgeable in music. That other girl couldn't care less about philosophy, but she's an awesome cook and a funny person. Get more people around you, and switch from one to another when you're starting to get bored of one of them.
And when you find people that match your standards, well, do your best to become good friends. Chances are that they seek people like you too.
a lake might seem shallow if you never go in.
>>11
10 here.
You're right. I do have standards. My concern is people's mental outlook, such as whether they question their values, or whether their mental-outlook is appropriate at a university setting.
I've met many interesting and diverse people. Personally, because I'm unsure of my future, I dabbled in every undergrad faculty so I've sampled different lecture environments. I have nothing against people who pursues any field, be it art, or science, or anything in between.
But, what I noticed is that many people had stringent mentalities, mostly true to business and science fields, again this based on experience. (Of course, they're everywhere else too.) They memorized facts, but their critical awareness was amateur. This is expected because I believe the education system teaches one 'what' to think instead of 'how.' The education system is designed, in my opinion, to be a vocational training spot for employment. I'm not saying this is bad. This is good because we all need jobs lol. However, the problem is when people mistakingly believe that institutionalized education is good enough to act as one's sole source of education.
Now, if one has already decided that all one wants in life, and all one values, is getting a good job then I cannot argue any further. However, I view life as process of personal development. Educating oneself is part of that development, and such open-minded activity has the side effect of enhancing life in others around you through your discourses and considerate actions. Courses like philosophy or women studies stresses the 'how' to think. This is why I believe reading is important. Many of those who pursue science, for example, may be great people, but for many, in terms of their mentality, a lot more could be wished for. This is what happens when people rely on the system as their sole means of education or personal development, and I doubt anybody would recommend this. So, why are they doing it?
My complaint against drinking has to do with how it is perceived. I believe it is misused as advertisement, or enticement, for students to join activities, rather than the merit of the activity itself. I can enjoy a few drinks myself, however.
Remember, many of these students will go on to the real world and shape society according to these values and outlook, so this isn't really strictly a matter of campus conduct because it impacts society as well.
>>13
I can only assume you'd prefer that Universities specialized in training people to be your friend?
Heh, I haven't made any friends at college yet either. I don't think I want to. I don't hate everyone, I just find them all completely boring. What I don't understand is I always get the weirdest looks when I walk out of the campus library with a book every day...
>>1
or maybe everyone else is good person, and u r shit
It sounds like a lot of you guys are just incapable of any sort of real, meaningful friendship because you've never gotten out of your basement and tried socializing before. I'm sure years of hiding from your peers will do that to you. Just get over yourself and stop thinking that everybody else is, like, so totally shallow and totally not like me. You sound like a fucking 14 year old. Force yourself to socialize more with people you don't know and try to accept the fact that everybody else goes through the same emotions and feelings as you do, if you have any emotion left that is.
I'm not one bit of interesting, I usually just shut up and let other people talk, and I find myself to be amused by all their concerns, passions, aggrivations, ideals, fears, preferences, etc.
I never felt a need to bond with people, I never felt a need for anyone including myself to even be interesting or amusing. I can sit and look at a retard doing something retarded, like speaking to himself and walking around in circles, and it makes no less sense than a bunch of educated people having some deep and meaningful conversation.
Everything is just people, doing what they do because they need to.
All this is nothing but natural behaviour gone advanced. It's like watching animal planet basically. Sometimes you laugh at the animals because their behaviour is amusing. I swear, I would do nothing but laugh my fucking ass off, if I didn't try real hard to take humanity seriously.
That said, I have friends, I can appriciate friends and be a good one in turn, but it's more to their gain honestly because I very much prefer solitude.
So, basically, I should just get over myself? That's probably good advice, and some I would be taking even without this thread. I wrote it while in a pretty fucked up mood.
Keep in mind - the friends I talked about who piss me off... I love those people to death.
The people I've met at my uni still suck. I'm sure there are good ones out there, and I could be much better at reaching out and meeting them, but at the moment everyone, especially the females, are vapid. Oh, I'm being harsh and judgmental, I know, but I can only stand so many conversations about drugs, boys, clothes, and backstabbing. It's not the shallowness that bothers me so much as the lack of variation in conversation.
Hang in there, my socially retarded compatriots!
>the friends I talked about who piss me off... I love those people to death.
ok well thats a good sign
and about uni, that makes much more sense
sure the majority of people you see in class all the time will be vapid, its like that everywhere in life
you WILL have to seek out better people then, possibly try joining some clubs to find people who share interests
I am in university too.
I have friends but I want to be as far away from them as possible..
I mean it's ok to talk but still I just don't like meeting with people that I know.
I actually like being in a quite place.. Also I actually get my work done when I am alone so yeah.
It's your choice to make friends or not.
Generally I sometimes friends are good.
However there are times when I find everyone annoying... Sometimes want to kill them all... Yeah no faith in humanity xP
lol
Hi, Kira. I know who you are. I'm going to find you and kill you.
OP: Did you ever think to yourself that maybe it's the other way around? People don't like you? And that they're simply not including you in their friendship and conversations.
You also have to realize, all that boring, meaningless small-talk is just that: obligatory small-talk. It's the polite, human thing to do. People don't want to talk about quantum chemistry when they meet in a bar or at a party. Yes, a lot of them are boring and stupid, but that's no excuse for pseudo-misanthropy. Frankly, you just sound like a pissed off 13 year old goth kid with no friends.
>>20
The reason you think all those kids at uni suck is because you don't "love them to death". You don't care for them, so you hate them and have no tolerance for their weaknesses. That is, what you percieve to be weakness. You don't need to give a shit, for you have nothing together. As opposed to your friends, they are still annoying as you say, but you have concluded that they are your buddies, so you tolerate their shit and bond with them.
It must have something to do with personal insecurity and mental inflexibility that someone cannot relate to or be comfortable with persons who are not like themselves, or on "the same level".
>>29
People are stupid, all people are stupid. You might think there is some conscience to our choices and way of life but there isn't. You are what you are because your surroundings made you out to be, same goes for everyone else. People who are entirely different have nothing except different backgrounds between them. They cannot help but be what they are. If you realise this you should also realise that it's kind of idiotic to be pissed of at how humans think and behave, or to be pissed off period.
Second part of your post is quite wise. The first part is quite ignorant. It's entirely quite ironic.
>>30
Not being able to relate to and be comfortable around people who aren't like you, or are on a different level, is certainly not always related to insecurities or mental inflexibility.
To relate to someone is to have a shared understanding on some level with them, sort of... ok, i'm bad at getting the meaning across, but the point is that being unable to relate to somebody comes from people being different to the point where there is not enough shared understang, not enough common ground, or whatever, for the people to feel like 'ok, i 'get' this person, i can relate to this person. It does not nessessarily have anything to do with personal insecurity or mental flexibility. It would be ridiculous to expect people to be able to relate to everyone else, as we are all so unique, and that is what makes humans so interesting.
Being comfortable around people who you can't relate to is a different matter. I can't be bothered writing a whole seperate rant about it.
It's not true in all cases that people are determined by their background. People are capable of considering their choices and way of life and reducing the influence their background has on it. It is in many people's nature to do so.
People generally think and behave in an idiotic manner. Being pissed off by this to some degree is natural, and even healthy, as it inspires motivation for self improvement, and helping others to improve themselves.
#25 is fake kira... sigh No wonder I hate people... It's people who mock others and such.
And no... My nickname is not from deathnote -_-'
It's from gundam seed... >_>
Anyways.. edit adds think after generally.
MMm anyways everyone is different... People will always be like that.
# 32 posted nicely.
>>31
I wonder how much time you spent drawing that conclusion
>>32
Your rant is kind of pointless, your arguments actually support my point. You said, being unable to relate to somebody come from people being different to the point where there is not enough shared understanding, common ground, etc.
YES, THAT IS MENTAL INFLEXIBILITY. Your freedom to cope is limited by your ability to understand or relate to another individual. There are bouts of people I have nothing in common with at all, but I can still understand them and appriciate them in their own light. After all, I know we have just lived different lifes, and in the end, I could have been just like them, or they could have been just like me. I can understand how our different lifes have affected us differently to become different people. In doing so I overbridge the varying nuances of our personalities and can relate to them on a much more basic level. In the end we are all humans. In the long run, this helps me to understand them from another point of view except my own. That is flexibility.
And I very much believe it is true, in every single case without exception, that people are entirely determined by their backgrounds, but also their surroundings and current situation. Every choice we ever make relate to what we know, what we have learned, how we have been taught to see things and handle things. And everything we have ever come into contact with has its own part in shaping our personality. The different choices we may pull out are decided according to how we are, and the one we finally go with is determined by the situation.
We may think that we have freedom of choice, but it all lies in perception.
>>34 I think we just found our floormat!
Since you're so flexible, bend over.
Oh wait, you just proved me right.
>>33
Dude, I was kidding, I didn't post with your name to say "hurr hurr I'm gay" like some trolls do here. Use a tripcode if you can't stand people using your nick.
If you can't live with some basic humor, no wonder you hate people, you're right on that.
If you hate people, then what are you going to do outside of college. Trust me, you keep chilling like that, and chances are you can be trashed by some OG
>>39
In slang an OG would stand for OG-san, or oji-san (in japanese, a middle-aged man).
Im american not japanese
>>42
THEN EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU SMART GUY OF THE STREETS
original gangster! doo, doo doo doo, doo, doo doo doo!
>>44 fix'd
original weeabangster! doo, doo doo doo, doo, doo doo desu!
Have you ever think that the boring one might be you? Pretend you are someone else, who sees "you" from the other side of the corridor. Now... it's that "you" interesting enough to make you want to talk to him? Or does he look like another kind of shallow person (the bitter kind of shallow person)? What do you think of that "you"? Would you like to be his friend? Would you like to endure his bitterness and his complains about how bored he is?
You see, it's easy to complain about other people. The others are boring, the others don't think, the others are shallow. But what about you? You are probably exactly the same as them. And probably there is another bitter person near you that thinks exactly the same about you.
What i think you should do about it... is to forget about how stupid people might be. Their intellectual only changes the way they think, not their personality. One person can be the stupidest person in the world, yet be the best loving friend you'll ever have. If you think the contrary, then you just prove how shallow you really are, because you don't care about the person, but rather their intelligence and how they might entertain you with their knowledge and interesting discussions.
For example... you are incapable of thinking that someone with dawn syndrome might be your best friend just because that person is "stupid" and "uninteresting"? If you say yes to this, then you are a disgusting piece of shit. Yet, i hope one day you'll grow up and realize what's truly important in a person.
>>47
i'm afraid english is not my first language. Sometimes i make mistakes.
>>46 is pretty much spot on.
I used to think everybody was lame, boring, stupid, closed minded et cetera. Then I thought to myself, maybe I'm the boring, lame stupid one. I was quite right.
Billions of people around the world... why stuck to your university mates if you don't like them? Furthermore you can't expect a 'perfect' person to fit your arrogance.
ah its okay to me if you have that attitude, just let's be friends
add me simple_assasin17@yahoo.com
dont pretend you are someone else for the love of god, or lack thereof
you are like me, and it works pretty damn good
whenever - youre going to meet interesting people that actually does things worth doing, and thinks before they open their less shallow less bickering mouths
its worth it, and youll be glad you didnt lower your standards :)
just dont let anyone see it, and keep them on their toes
also if you have a friend or two you dont want to lose, have at them all the time, know that they can improve
there is no greater satisfaction in seeing yourself in others, that is, they start thinking for themselves ;)
-sophist
>>11 educated in what?
if you think school and education makes you less appalling in front of people like me you are sorely mistaken
the only things of value to my kind is raw intelligence and analytic abilities
with such comes humor, self realizations and so on
you start to view entirety in a completely different way
regular things like lights arent lights anymore, they have detail and part of me instantly analyzes this light with no thinking involved
people become shallow
and above all you see the gigantic ant hill people breathe in
original poster (i presume), you should immediately start sharpening your tools - that is your analytic ability
so you can start manipulating people, reading them, and eventually know what theyre going to express before they even say it themselves
you can please anyone, at any level of intellect with this gift of loneliness
not that i care about regular people anymore, but spotting whores from crowds was fun (girls that craves emotional pleasure)
first look at their body, then alcohol happiness then face
facial expression is most important, its the decisive factor after all
engage in conversation, ask indirectly what they think
an important task here, borderlining innate ability, is to be anyone you want to be
it can be a pain to do, but putting a great smile on when its needed is hard at first, but pays off
not being yourself amongst others is imperative, since it lets you start off with an insanely elevated and lasting impression should the need so be desired
finally, wordwork, use chatrooms to bash people to near-suicidal moods, do this regularly
find others and impress them with your selective and raw verbal power
its important that your words be selective and effective
dont waste time bickering as doing so will alert people to a random degree
casual talk is helpful before
make people think you are the nicest, worst, capable etc. guy they ever met
ask indirectly what they think
honing your skills is like drugs, except, probably better
finally, cast away your judgements, you are not a judge and you never will be
you dont know for any certainty anything about anyone
hence why the final task is to increase your analytic ability once more, only this time you will rely solely on probabilities for unknowns
keep labels on people with probabilities
learn different languages, and youll learn alot more about your own language
it goes without saying that this helps alot on getting people to like you
dont use it otherwise, as people will with high probability only
be scared away, because you have attacked on of their faults, and that is a big no
its a curse, that makes you lonely, after which split second you return to your senses and its all good again :)
it changes nothing that i am the only one i know that constantly evaluates and judges, because not only wont people hear it, i wont tell them
its their duty to enlighten themselves
You make me smile, in a good way at that
Ill tell you one good thing, and one bad thing about you
At least you can see it, and even more so.. Thats more than 99% of the inhabitants of this planet can
Its a shame you dont care, about the above, more than that
but that is your choice, and yours alone
This may sound strange, but I feel the same happiness as you do
Im happy everyday, every single second of it
People are so ... hehe, I dont even want to go there
Ah well
I dont have to ask this of you, so ill just state it
Notice that you affect your friends greatly, your tremendous humor is slowly but surely showing in your closest friends
You should take great pride in that
>>28 The polite thing to do you say?
Consider for a moment that he doesnt value small talk, he doesnt value fake put-on smiles or any kind of -
ANY form of ritualistic behavior that is demeaning and obligatory?
Demeaning as in - it's not even remotely interesting.
You are the one at fault here, for not considering the obvious
Its true though, that people dont like him, because of the impression that he is calm and ice cold
I have that stare, that puts most people on their toes, if im not careful
This can be avoided by pretending you are smiling.
Im not unhappy, im very very happy. I just dont show it, because i dont feel the need to do it. I dont have the need to satisfy other people so as to not appear different or not part of the herd.
>>10 Its the same everywhere, and guess what -
What you wrote there is the short version of an imaginary bible of analyticity
Okay, Im far off, but I nodded my way through your ramblings so much that my neck hurts
Take my word for it when I say your words are shining like gold to a man long had lost his hope to find his own kind :)
(only 22 of age, though, but 4 years is enough)
>>31 His entire post is less than acceptable
His presence here is nothing short of a tragedy
Wow, that No bullshit dude is seriously broken. You felt like replying to three monthes of thread? Tsss, seriously.
I'm >>11, by the way, and I'll answer your first question: educated in general. I learn things, and that's it. I love learning things.
You say you value raw intellect more than the rest? I half-agree with you. Because having raw intellect power and no culture or education is like having a great metabolism and no muscle/technique. Raw intellect power (be it logical, analytical or whatever) is useless until you train it, and until you equip it with tools. Tools as in developing your 'worldmap' by adding 'universal knowledge' to your basic mind.
This is why other people might be interesting, even if they are stupid and you don't agree with them and they just plainly suck. Because by interacting you have a way to measure your tools, and to discover new ways of thought to explore, even if it is with the goal of dismissing them.
Also, you say you are happy (if I was to go into barroom psychology I'd say you say it quite a lot and smirk, but I'm not like that), and well, why not. If you have your thing and it works. But as I see it, you're quite closed in your own world, and I'm really not sure you have the whole spectrum of happiness (okay, noone really does) because you basically seclude yourself from the means to obtain some of it.
If I was to do an approximative comparison, I'd say it's a bit like laserlight vs. natural light. See what I mean?
Also - even if you don't - you know what I hope? That someone, something, outside in this world happens to you and in one split second makes you realize you were wrong. Maybe not on all the line, but enough to instill doubt, curiosity and questionment in your life again.
Because, dude, you sound like a fucking religious zealot. Chill out, seriously.
>>60 I have a house, a car, and a great job - all mingling with people very much unlike me
It still doesnt change the fact that its a boring life, and I know most people feel that way
The only difference is that to me boring is unacceptable
I dont live a reclused life, as I have a ton of friends, who more or less take alot of my humor to themselves... great fun sometimes
And finally, I have no idea why i wrote all that, even though there should be no doubt, theres nothing wrong.
>>61
It's great to have a house, a car, and a great job, but it's not what makes you happy. I thought everyone knew this. And your "friends", if you see them through the lenses you described in your previous posts, well... even if they appreciate you I seriously doubt you get the full of the relationship on your side. It is a great thing to be analytical. But if you don't know how to let go... you're pretty much screwed.
I have to agree with you - boring is unacceptable. But this is where I don't understand how you manage it. I mean, if it's boring, you have to either change it dramatically or change your point of view. A little perspective doesn't hurt. And then again, a bit of both the solutions is probably the best way to do it.
>And finally, I have no idea why i wrote all that, even though there should be no doubt, theres nothing wrong.
See how you used the conditional? Subtext, subtext...
Let's face the facts
Most people are more bored than me. People at my age have to get drunk to have a good laugh. Once or twice every weekend.
And I lack perspective? Id rather be an introverted fool, than an alcoholized monkey.
It's harsh, but it's also reality.
Furthermore, I find great peace in tinkering with my hobbies such as learning new languages (currently finishing off japanese and starting on chinese), programming, making music etc.
That is, when i'm not taking my mandatory walk :)
>>63
You don't define reality like that. I hope you do realize that what is your reality certainly isn't you neighbours'. Oh, and you can drink a bit without being an "alcoholized monkey", y'know?
It's great to be able to enjoy oneself through hobbies - moreso to "find great peace" -, I honestly think this. But I think that if really you feel you don't need people, the first thing you have to do is stop being judgemental. After all, if you don't need them, why bother?
i stopped being judgemental a long time ago, due to a more detailed version of what you just said. perhaps if i moved to a bigger city with more high level educational institutions i wouldnt see this as much as right now. i know there are perfectly okay people out there, around here as well, but they are not nearly the majority. and i favor the bigger picture in getting my disagreement across. :)
>>64
Apart for the over-analytical mindset you have, that might be our biggest difference here. I'm always searching for details in the larger picture. I always see a whole as composed of many sub-units, themselves divised in sub-units, and I don't like stopping my sight at the first number encountered. I like factoring :p