In this thread we will discuss things that we don't like about ourselves and try to fix it. We won't just talk, we will take action - no more whining on a forum then forgetting about it.
It is my hope that together we'll be able to leave the "hikki" life and start kicking ass.
I'll start - I feel that my life is very boring right now. Course/school work is all I can think about and I don't participate in a lot of activities. Because of this I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things (such as girls...)
What I'm going to do:
-Start getting better at alpine skiing so I can join the beginner alpine race teams.
-Take up a martial art. I used to do karate in the past but I stupidly gave up (I was young and still pretty immature about things...should've kept it!)
If all goes well, my self-esteem will go through the roof.
So, what do you guys have on your minds? Discuss.
After not finding any career goal for myself while attending university, I decided to take time of in order to soul-search. My family has hit a financial situation which I feel an obligation to contribute aid for as long as I still live with them at least.
Thus:
-keep working and save money to help pay bills for my family
-study medical terminology in order to work a better paying job at the hospital as a clerk
-read books and magazines to satisfy life curiosities, stories of characters who are going through a similar moment of existential questioning, for example.
-practice painting, for I put art aside for academia when I was at school
I kind of hope I'll stop... Actually, there's nothing I can't willingly change already. Maybe I'll just list what other people hate about me.
Basically, yeah. I'm not looking to make any friends though.
>>3
You can easily change
i swear pretty profusely. now, i'm not someone who believes it's a moral wrong, but it puts off bad vibes, (and there's a particular girl...), not to mention is just immature anyway.
sure, in middle school, it was well and fine (tough to do without, really) but now it's time for me to internalize that those fucking words don't really mean anything. (see? they don't)
that, and i want to spend more time reading. which is tough, because i have like eight hobbies or something, of which one is reading (lol).
I've been battling with a lot of realities that I have to face recently. Being in my junior year at a 4 year college with no leadership, volunteer, research, etc experience, having sparse job experience, and taking courses to fulfill two degrees after having transferred from a Community College where I basically only took general education courses, I need to move my ass Fast to become competitive for Grad School application.
The problem doesn't so much lie there. I'm sure I could work out time to get various activities, etc, in. The problem lies in that I have OCD, Social Anxiety Disorder, am Terrible about not being organized, and am a Ridiculous procrastinator. This isn't even to mention that I lack social and networking skills.
Plus, I've just gotten into the *chans, and adding this kind of interest to my other current interests is, well, insane. Especially now that I've arrived at 4-ch, where I see a bunch of help topics, and I'm a compulsive helper.
So, what's the solution? I get organized and prioritized. I take the advice I just gave to someone else and start engaging in random conversations. I begin e-mailing my professors to discuss mentorship and research opportunities that will lead to good letters of recommendation, I plot out my time every week and all upcoming events in a calendar, and I begin more intensive study into both of my fields of interest.
I will have no time to sit back and relax, for the most part. That frightens me, as I greatly enjoy being able to just float from one thing tot he next, and I'm aware that I have a very negative interpretation, and a very stressful one (especially considering that my negative interpretation Leads to stress) about not having free time.
So, I also need to change my attitude about being scheduled. This is good to do now, anyway, since I Do plan on attending grad school and continuing individual research into the other subject of my choice while going to grad school.
If only I could already be doing this so that I'd get awesome grants and scholarships (which I also need to apply for), great paid internships, and Awesome research positions.
Ah well. One step at a time. I'll have to get used to thinking and acting that way. I've taken my sweet time working up to allowing myself to enter that process. This process.
Updates to come later. (I believe that it's crucial to track one's success or failure and have others be there to see it so that your accountability is kept in mind.)
Have you ever heard of the Duke of Edinburgh's Award? I'm sure they do it in the US & Canada (I hope I'm not being presumptious about your location). It's a very, very highly regarded award here in the UK, especially the Gold Level award. Each level (bronze, silver, gold) consists of sections where you have to gain or improve a specific skill, the sections being Physical, Service and Skill. Each level also requires you to do an expedition in wild country, which gets progressively longer and harder with each level. Thanks to the D.O.E., I've learned Latin, Tennis, improved my musical skills, and volunteered for a variety of organisations and charities. I've also walked hundreds of miles throughout Scotland's most beautiful scenery. Basically, if you want fitness, leadership & team skills, confidence and organisational skills, try the DOE, or anything similar.
My current goals are:
-Lose weight, through diet and excersize. I'm not overweight or anything, but I'd feel better about myself if I turned some of my excess flab into muscle.
-Get a job, so I can afford nice clothes, music, and so I don't have to move back in with my parents when the school year is over.
-Get more focused on school in general. I'm actually doing pretty okay at this one in general, although I've done fuck all this weekend.
-Learn the accordion, lol. I've wanted to do so for a few months; I was even signed up for a class, but then I got sick and missed a lot of the classes. :/
-Take up sewing again. I'll have to wait till I have a job to pay for fabric and a sewing machine, though.
-And my continued goal of expanding my social circle as much as possible in my new city.
We can do it!
What I don't like about myself:
Never leaving my apartment
Spending 24/7 on the internet
Eating nothing but junk
Never working out
No friends
No Job
What I plan on doing to improve myself:
Get a job so I can buy more video games
A car so I can drive to my job
A credit card for Fry's and Bestbuy
Although I don't feel like comtributing my issue with myself, there's something important to remember. Improving yourself is fantastic... only if you are comfortable with it. Never feel you have to change for anyone, only do it when you feel ready and you'll love yourself all the more for it.
Best of luck to all of you.
Goals:
♪ Become healthy, and subsequently become happy with my appearance
♪ Become more comfortable when I'm around strangers
♪ Look up when I walk, not at my shoes
♪ Become more gregarious and stop being so shy and awkward
I'm in the midst of my first goal, but I have good days and bad days. I need to be more dilligent. As for the rest of my goals, I'm having a bit more trouble getting started...
>>8
That sounds badass. is a shame that i live in a shitty 3rd world country :(
>>7
Sounds a lot like me. Junior at 4 year, transferred from CC, considering Grad school, no leadership, volunteer, research, experience, Social Anxiety Disorder, procrastinator, lacking social and networking skills.
Ah well, at most I would go for a Masters. And if it happens, it happens.
Things I need to change:
-Talk and interact more. I think I give people an okay impression now, besides the fact I barely talk.
-Do more. I pretty much spent the last 4 days in my room being lazy.
Volunteering is a brilliant way of getting experience, and it's incredibly easy to find opportunities.
I hate that I am so indecisive
what am i going to do about it?
i cant decide yet -_-
Indecisive people are simply unsure of the consequences of their actions. That's when you carry dice around with you or a coin and let fate lead the way.
>>17 It isn't that simple for people such as myself. The issue isn't so much the immediate consequences, but the build-up of them. Mistakes and personality quirks get joked about and spread, mishaps pile up in people's minds, etc. The issue, then, is over-planning for things and spending time planning rather than doing what's needed to reduce risk/bad outcomes.
Fear is a powerful and annoying thing. It's worse when it's been verified in the past.
Not get expelled-
Bring my quota from 5 girls a year to 7-
Bench press 200 lb. (Im at 160)-
Plans to do this:
Pray more-
Call girls more-
work out harder-
I'm happry reading all of your posts. Wanting to change something to become a better and happier person, makes me want to do the same.So, I think I'm going to participate too.
The thing I want to change:
-being lazy all the time (sometimes I start playing videogames, watching anime, or even not do anything when I HAVE to start working)
-being desorganized (which feeds my lazyness)
-worry about the future more than enjoy the moment
The goals I think will help me:
-start getting off the computer. (I stay almost all day surfing random sites on the internet...I have to change that)
-write on a piece of paper all the IMPORTANT things I have to do on the week.
-"...just enjoy the moment. The future doesn't matter" (...that's what I will think all the time I feel worried)
I'll often visit this thread to check out how you're doing. And also I'll update my situation.
good luck ^-^
PD: >>20 that's a good video. Thanks for sharing it
Hi all... U_U
I'm not improving at all T_T, how are all of you doing?
I plan to stop getting headaches from wondering about males. I'm going to be happy and single, even though I'm still looking. Damnit.
>>9 here with an update.
-Weightloss: Bought a swimsuit and used it once due to certain, uh, feminine issues, lol. I've been doing okay at eating less and better.
-Work: Turned in an application to a place, haven't heard back.
-School: Made it to all my classes and got everything I needed done finished over the weekend.
-Accordion: No progress, although I've been listening to some kickass music lately.
-Sewing: Bought fabric against my better judgment.
-Social: Going pretty damn good.
Thats so good! keep it up! ^_^
This may seem a bit corny, but I downloaded Paul McKenna's self help stuff. I'm keeping a open mind about it, and i think it might be working.
I've been talking more with class mates just about random thing about the course, and this i think will help me become more sociable in other situations.
Been going to the gym about a week, aint gonna stop!
Im gonna try cut down internet time/4-ch time...its proving more difficult then expected.
>>24 Congrats!
The accordian, that sounds cool!
I'm working to improve my posture, which makes me feel better about myself.
>>23 Regarding relationship issues, might I recommend "Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus"..?
Lately I've been better able to gauge how a conversation affects me and my partner and stop a downhill way of communication before we are both furious. We've also learned to talk slower. Amazing how much that helps.
...wow O_O everyone here are actually improving a lot.
I think this inspires me to continue trying (as I said before, I'm not improving at all T_T)
>>25
Cutting down internet time is sooo difficult for me U_U...but, I'll try, it must be done >_<
By the way, congrats to everyone who has improved since this thread started ^^
Well, I've certainly been busy. I've gone to a number of career development and grad school-preparedness events, spoken with some professors about my interests, and have finally started considering how I want to organize things. I've also realized that organization is a necessity for anyone who has a lot on their plate. I normally have an excellent memory and can recall great amounts of information, but the combination of increased information, increased anxiety, and decreased sleep has shown me that it's unlikely any human would have the luxury of never needing a schedule when under pressure.
I'll be attending a weekly meeting for a philosophical group starting soon, and I hope to transition from that to learning more about specific areas in philosophy. I'm also going to attempt getting to know my cognitive psych and developmental psyc professors better. Also, I'm taking it upon myself to do independent research into Continental philosophy so that I can take some special senior classes. Finally, I'm going to be reviewing a lot of basic psychology so that I can do better on the Psychology Subject GRE. I'm also going to take some practice GRE tests.
Now to actually get a calendar and start writing all of my plans down and schedule times for them.
>>12 here.
So far I've been doing well on my healthy goal! I've been biking a lot and only eating at meal times, so I feel a lot better!
As for the rest of my social goals, I haven't even started. I just really don't know how to do. I try and look up when I walk, but as soon as I meet someone's eyes I get nervous and look away.
I had to speak in front of my class today for a presentation, and I did well, especially compared to the last one I had to do, but as soon as I could go back to regular class I went back to my normal self. (>_<);; Hopefully I can find a way to be more outgoing...
I have an interview at a library in 45 minutes. Wish me luck, Anonimi!
>>9
Good luck! Just remember to be really polite and smile a lot!!
This next month:
-Start walking daily again after my leg heals, maybe start jogging later on
-Create a study routine for the first time in my life
This year:
-Apply myself harder in college than I did last semester and in all education I've had prior to it
-Read more literature, and also on philosophy and history; I've always been too superficial
-Get a job or internship
-Learn about investments, taxes and personal finances in general
-Learn HTML, CSS and whatever trendy stuff they indirectly ask for in college
-Improve art skills, by starting to post on and frequent cgsociety I guess, because I still suck at it
-Unblock my internet friends, maybe? I couldn't get any real ones last semester :D so I only have one contact I talk to, and not very frequently
-Frequent a gym
-Generally take life more seriously than I have been
I got the job. So that's one thing I can cross off my list... Or two really, because my social life is going pretty well too.
Hey everyone, OP here. I'm happy to see that this is helping people :) Keep it guys, take it step by step and don't give up.
So far, I've been able to go skiing way more often and I've greatly improved. I can go down 8 of the 10 slopes at my local ski hill and it's just a matter of time before I can conquer the 2 remaining ones. In fact, I'm going on saturday again with some friends this time - hopefully I won't slam into a fence or anything :P
As for my martial arts endeavor, I've found an interesting club but haven't called yet. I'm thinking of joining a gym first as I'm pretty skinny and chances are get eaten up if I started karate now.
School work has gotten a little worse lately, but it's nothing I can't handle. I really have to stop procrastinating, it would save me loads of time :P
That's all for me - and again, keep up the good work everyone. We can do it.
>>34 See about the club anyway. They might have special tips for helping you with your gym training. At least get introduced and find out what you'd be getting into.
My current personal goals:
I use a method of counting down to zero from a given number. For example, at first I would I first do six push-ups, then pull up one knee and give my arms rest two or three seconds, then do five more, rest again, then four more, etc. It's a much better method than just doing 21 in one go. At first I had to start at six (21 total); I can now start at nine (45 total) and still pull it off all the way to zero, without feeling sore the next day. Yay.
I'm working on strength, stamina and flexibility now. I think I should also practice balance and precision, but I haven't found a way to practice those yet.
3. Learning to talk to people without being nervous. Finding the serenity and confidence to be a more open-hearted person. I hope to find this kind of confidence as I grow up.
4. Improving my willpower. Growing a spine. (See http://4-ch.net/personal/kareha.pl/1204476773/l50.)
5. Learning to draw, and perhaps to play the guitar. I'm not a bad artist, but I rarely find time to practice drawing. I'm a poor guitarist.
1) Over half of college graduates live with their parents, and a strong portion in college do, as well. You're not that odd.
3) You do not need validation from others, it is merely a nice bonus. Know this fact intimately.
>1) Over half of college graduates live with their parents, and a strong portion in college do, as well. You're not that odd.
Really?
I was wondering for some time how common it was for people of my age to live with their parents. I always thought I was late. I guess I don't really need to hurry up, then.
Still, I think living by myself would be a necessary next step in the development of both my psyche and my reputation. My parents and older brother still consider me immature and dependent; I feel I need to prove that I can handle myself both to myself and to them.
>3) You do not need validation from others, it is merely a nice bonus. Know this fact intimately.
You're right about that.
However, disregarding how others see you doesn't seem such a great idea either. I believe I need to find a compromise between not at all caring what people think and obsessing over it.
For the longest time now, I've been trying to get past this mind-blowing monotony and do something interesting or productive, and yet I lack the initiative to do so...
I guess my goal is to get inspired somehow.
I will start with the first
>>38 Well, that's the odd thing about it. We can't ever be totally separate from social norms, but we need to be satisfied with who we are in our current state, even if we know there is room (and perhaps social necessity) for improvement. It's an odd thing.
Living alone will certainly help with maturation, but it doesn't necessitate it. In other words, it's good to live on your own, but not to worry about the "old world" or societal declarations about moving out non your own. We don't go right into steady employment after High School, and likely couldn't even if we wanted to.
The best thing is to become centered in your current self and development, with this you'll not only feel better about yourself, but women will be attracted to you and that attraction will lead to better societal standing, etc. It seems as though everything in life is somehow related to a circle, in a positive or negative direction. Sometimes the counter-intuitive thing works best, so long as you have true confidence and security in who you are. (And, again, you aren't over-confident or blind to/unconcerned with change and improvement).
>>39 I thought inspiration would just come to me. It turns out I had to start randomly seeking things out and trying them, even if they didn't initially seem interesting, for my inspiration to arise.
>>40 2 will help 3, which will help 1.
I also want to emphasize that I don't think I'm a know-it-all. I'm in the midst of change, myself. I'm just reporting what I've seen work or had justified to me.
>>38 send me an offline message at emailisasecretplacelawl on Yahoo! Messenger with some way for me to identify you and I'll add you on my real ID/E-mail address to we can talk more about stuff. You don't need to download Yahoo! messenger or anything, you can just go to profiles yahoo com slash emailisasecretplacelawl and click the "Send IM" button, and a web version or something should pop up. (I'm using this as a trash ID I can throw away to avoid spam, etc.)
>>39 Hehehe sorry mate, I dont think "getting inspired" can be a goal. Inspiration comes on its own, ya cant force it. Like forcing a desire to read more, the desire might not be there, but you can force yourself to read regardless. THEN the desire might come.
So instead of setting 'inspiration' as a goal. Do something, ANYTHING, that will break away from the rut you're in.
Say goodbye to the job and social life goals, since I'm feeling pretty happy about those at the moment.
-Weightloss: Nothing, really, other than walking a lot. I may or may not swim this evening.
-School: Going to all my classes, think I did okay on a midterm... Nothing really exceptional.
-Accordion: Nothing, but I want to start messing around on a piano in order to get used to the keys.
-Sewing: Nothing.
I'm not gay. But I want to be a fag. How do I become attracted to dicks?
>>25 update here. I know betterin youself takes time, but I thought I'd update a little.
I've joined toastmasters club in my uni, its basically a club to improve public speaking skills. They arent judgemental or anything so Im really glad.
I also exchanged numbers with my bio lab partner so we can study together. Its been a while since i've been alone with a female. I hope I wont act to weird. >_>
Gym is same, I dont enjoy it but it'll keep the body healthy, and a healthy body leads to a fuller live. :D
>>44 Good job! Why not any accordion or sewing?
I can't start a new accordion class till sometime next quarter, and I don't have access to a sewing machine.
Starting Monday, I'm going to get up an hour earlier every morning and go for a jog!
Right now I'm pitifully out of shape, and can't run a block without getting exhausted. I hope to change that.
I think I'm going to try and:
put some good out into the the world
not get so defensive
improve my grades
write and draw more/better
be so nervous around people
stick with track, even if it kills me
I just hope I can do all of those things
OK.
Duty breeds morale.
Need meaningful employment.
Feel like Jack Torrence.
>>50 Finding "a woman to love" only means you'll be dependent, which results in more reasons to wish oneself to die and increased emotional drama.
I'm going to attempt to speak up more often, and, it sounds stupid, but whatever, become mentally and physically stronger.
Whenever an unexpected question comes my way, my automatic response is "No", sometimes before I even hear the question. I hate having to talk to people I don't know really well, but I'm going to have to suck it up and try if I'm going to get anywhere after high school. And dangit, I NEED to stop talking to myself ;_;
One of my friends recently got the crap scared out of her when a homeless man came up to her while she was play fighting with her friend and said "I play really nice.". Thank god our band teacher (who I now worship) interfered and told him off, but still. We had to go back the way we came after we had visited the shops we were looking at, which meant going through that same area. She was really scared, and she started crying... I really hate feeling useless and that stuff. I know I can't take on anyone right now, so I bought a bamboo sword (Don't make fun of me ;_; ) and I'm thinking of taking a martial arts class. I have this protective instinct thing going on, and it's not going to happen if I can't defend myself, let alone others.
Hopefully, it'll all work out for all of us. I'm really sorry for the insanely long post >_>;;
>>3 here.
I have a new goal. Ignoring (hopefully) all the repulsive features of myself, my aim now is to not scare off a /b/tardess that I just met at a Scientology raid. Not that I'm ugly, or overtly disgusting, but my great awkwardness may prove to be my downfall. But if she's a /b/tard, then there's a large chance she would tolerate that, right?
Not really. With females, /b/ isn't anything too serious. It's just like MySpace to them.
>>52 True, but the happiness comes from within bullshit is harder to get:s..or happiness does not exist and i should be content with an empty feeling.
If /b/ is anything too serious to anyone, that person needs to reexamine his life.
a female /b/tard? are you serious? don't even bother with that unless she's really cute. i know exactly what it's like to be a 4channer or a forum troll and trust me, no one would want a girl like that
Err, we're ALL 4channers/forum trolls. I'm not afraid of the fact she's a /b/tard, I'm afraid of the fact that she's a girl.
Not everybody here is a 4channer. In fact, I doubt even half of this boards population is or ever was a regular 4chan user.
I do frequesnt forums, but 4chan has too many angry people.
Would like to improve quite a bit, maybe I'll start if I list them out here:
-Would like to learn Korean, the Korean population in the area is large and my mother is Korean as well so I don't have much of an excuse not to know it
-Would like to learn how to play acoustic guitar
-Would like to lose weight, around 30 pounds since I've put on that much since high school was over
-Would like to stop looking at Shota/Guro/Hentai and Pornography in general
-Would like to find someone new to date, I get the just friends feeling too often from everyone; maybe a new look/weight lose would help
-Would like to play video games less. This goal kinda saddens me due to the fact that I grew up with them and they hold a special place in me but I need to spend time more wisely.
-Get a new job, this working 11pm-7am is killing what's left of me.
>>54 here
Haha, that failed. I really shouldn't have faith in people's lack of boringness just because they're from the same part of the internet as me....
Sounds like you have a couple things that could only make your life better for you, and apparently you've got nothing to lose by going for it. Good luck!
im also trying to learn to play the guitar and i'm currently cutting down on video games. maybe we should team up? :)
>>64 Thanks, best of luck to you and your /b/tardess as well if you're still trying for that.
>>65 Eh heh, maybe if you stay up until 8am like me.
As for my goals, I have a plan though on how I want to do this starting as soon as I hit reply. I'm sipping on my last soda as I type this so here goes.
Since it's dead silent here from about 11pm-3am I'd like to either practice guitar or my Korean for about 30mins-1 hour everyday I'm at work. Considering all I do is play ROMs and surf here I really have no excuse not to do this.
As for the losing weight, I know I have to cut back on eating out and what I eat. If I do eat out I'd like to eat as little as possible so no more HUGE SUPER VALUE SIZE meals or just no fast food in general. Also since I'm not in the best condition to just hop on a treadmill, I'm going to start stretching every night before bed and take the stairs instead of the elevator since it'll be a nice 4 story hike up and down my work place.
On a side note, would like to clean my room as simple as that sounds. I don't think I've seen some spots on my floor in about a year or so cause junk just sits there.
>>9/>>24/>>44 here. I liked this thread; I think it did me (and hopefully some other people) a lot of good.
As my original goals go, only one remains. I've decided to put learning the accordion and sewing on hold until summer, when I hopefully won't be as busy. As it stands now, my goals are:
-Swim every evening. I have no excuse; there's a pool in the basement of the building I work in.
-Get the summer job I actually want.
-Get the summer job I really don't want, but I know will support me so I don't have to move back in with my parents. (The first job is only about 15 hours a week...)
-Actually make friends at school this quarter.
i'm shy with girl.. can anyone give some idea to overcome this?
>>68
Talk to girls. Tough truth, but the only way to break out of your shyness is to force yourself out of it, and get used to talking to girls. Start by talking casually (just hello, have a nice day) but firmly and looking into the eyes of female shopkeepers and such. It's easier because you have a reason to do this; most shy people just mumble something then run away.
Then work your way gradually into more developed conversations with girls in your entourage.
Good luck, and realize it might take years. Don't give up!
Here's my list;
-Socialize more and break the habit of evading social gatherings.
-Overcome the laziness I am plagued with.
-Get serious with the college application, along with the classes that will start in July.
-Go on a diet and exercise constantly.
-Break my bad habits of biting my nail and peeling the first layer of skin off my fingers.
-Stop wasting my whole day in front of a computer.
Honestly though, I am not too confident in myself... My family members pointed out that I lack courage and determination to finish what I started.