( ´ω`) hello again, kids!
( ´ω`) You just ruined the quote and failed, as usual.
( ´ω`) Besides that, it's YOUR job to fix this place up.
(・∀・) IT TOOK ME 100 MINUTES TO THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY!
(・∀・) Grandpa, I like Uranus!
(・∀・) Grandpa, pity post.
( ´ω`) I don't want anyone's pity, least of all yours. Now get back to the garage, punk.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was the Industrial Revolution like?
( ´ω`) It was the good old days, when I could have sold you for child labor and pocketted your meager salary. Nowadays, having kids makes you operate at a loss.
(・∀・) Grandpa, you want me to slave labor??
( ´ω`) Of course not! Slaves don't earn any wages that I can pocket.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what were the prehistoric times like?
( ´ω`) I wouldn't remember; my memories only date back to the Mittens era.
(・∀・) Grandpa, tell me about mittens in history!
( ´ω`) Well, long ago, before the coming of the Moon and we all lived in the forest, we cowered in fear from the packs of ravenous mittens.
( ﾟ oﾟ) ...
( ´ω`) Yes, dear. Once mittens hunted man. The most dangerous was the northern Kodiak mitten, which could squeeze a man so hard his head would pop right off. Fortunately, man created the Unraveler by adding thorns to the thighbone of an antelope. The fierce giant mittens never had a chance after that.
(・∀・) Wow.
( ´ω`) They still hunt them in Norway and Sweden. I'm wearing a sweater made from one right now!
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) I like sweaters!
(・∀・) V neck or turtle neck?
( ´ω`) Cow Neck. It keeps the chilly air from touching my nape, Junior. Did you know that your nape was the most tasty part of your entire body? The mittens knew this, and would always attack from behind... and you'd never hear them coming.
(・∀・) Grandpa! This subject is getting boring. You are beating a dead horse here.
( ´ω`) It is said that the native americans used every part of the mitten, but the truth is that they'd unravel them indiscriminately and leave most of the yarn for the scavengers.
(・∀・) ENOUGH ABOUT THE MITTENS!
( ﾟ -ﾟ) ...
(ﾟ- ﾟ ) I don't like you any more, Junior.
(・∀・) Wait! Come back!!
( ´ω`) Let her go. It's not like you were going to get any anyway.
(・∀・) That's kinda mean, Grandpa. We were pretty friendly!
( ´ω`) Junior, you are so in the Friend Zone with her.
～～～～～○～～～～～～～～
。
ﾟ
∧∧
(・∀・) I just had the craziest dream Grandpa!
＿| ⊃／(＿＿_ In it, Mittens left me :'(
／ └-(＿＿＿_／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
～～～～～○～～～～～～～～
。
ﾟ
∧∧
(ﾟ- ﾟ ) I just had a dream where my head was on backwa--
＿| ⊃／(＿＿_ .............
／ └-(＿＿＿_／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
～～～～～○～～～～～～～～
。
ﾟ
∧∧
( ´ω`) I just had the craziest dream Junior!
＿| ⊃／(＿＿_ In it, you thought this was the "ITT,
／ └-(＿＿＿_／ we ponder the previous post" thread.
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
( ´ω`) So anyway, we used to only get about three hours of sleep a night. It took three hours to walk to and from school uphill both ways, and we lived in a coverless shoebox in the middle of the highway.
(・∀・) Do we go to Hell if we tell lies?
( ´ω`) Junior, you can't go to Hell, because there is no Hell. The worst that would happen is that you'd go to France.
(・∀・) I heard that Hell is the place where all the hot sinful babes go. Is that in France?
( ´ω`) Yes, but they never bathe. Think you can handle that, Junior? Go right on sinning your little head off.
( ´ω`) Also the women there are not like you think, they are feminists.
(・∀・) How do you know all that? Have you been in France, Grandpa?
( ´ω`) I was sentenced to France after killing a man in cold blood, Junior. This was before cruel and unusual punishments were outlawed by those sissypants flaming liberals.
(・∀・) Was the moon landing real, Grandpa?
( ´ω`) The moon landing was real, Junior, but the discovery of the new world was staged on a bollywood back lot.
(・∀・) So North America...
( ´ω`) ...doesn't really exist.
(・∀・) Grandpa, please don't continue my lines like that. It's kinda...
( ´ω`) ...creepy?
(・∀・) No, the other thing...
( ´ω`) Lovable?
(・∀・) Wait, North America doesn't exist?
( ´ω`) Never did, Junior.
(・∀・) And France?
( ´ω`) France what?
(・∀・) Grandpa, how'd you get to be so knowledgable?
( ´ω`) It's easy when you're jesus lol.
(・∀・) I will take that knowledge from you, Grandpa, and become one with the universe.
( ´ω`) well, too bad you are banned, junior.
(・A・) ...
( ´ω`) Peace and quiet at last.
(・ω・) Helpful hint: Grandpa doesn't exist.
(・∀・) That blew my mind.
(・ω・) Are we having fun yet?
(・ω・) Lessee... How about we kill Grandpa?
(・ω・) a Find The Murderer game.
ｶﾞｯ ∧__∧ ∩ < I'm still in the room you idiot!!
（,,´ω`)彡☆
⊂彡☆))ω・) <ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
☆
(・∀・) Is this like Schrödinger's cat, where the cat is dead, alive and bloody furious at the same time?
( ´ω`) No it's like cheshire cat.
ω
∀ !
(・∀・) Grandpa, how come that person's eyes are missing?
(´ώ`) Did you forget?
(・∀・) Grandpa! Your face!
(´ώ`) Hm? Oh...
( ´ω`) I was just in the back of the room, Junior. Why are you so panicky these days?
(・∀・) Living in the garage. The hobospiders keep me up all night with their singing.
( ´ω`) Ah, yes. You can tell them from regular brown recluse spiders by their jaunty blue top-hats and bloodshot eyes.
(・∀・) Huge tits or flat chests?
( ´ω`) Either is good, as long as they are not the disgusting types that fall in between those sizes.
(・∀・) Grandpa, do sheep have sheep?
( ´ω`) No, sheep don't have sheep, sheep have lambs.
(・∀・)
(・∀・) Grandpa, is the world out of control?
( ´ω`) Well, little'un, it's a tad early to say
(・∀・) Grandpa! I just realized I don't want to go to hell! Eternal damnation and suffering isn't my idea of spending all my life after death.
∧∧
(( (´ω`) )) < Bit late to be thinking about that now, Junior!
(( // ､) ､)∩))
((～（（≡γ'⌒ヽ∧∧ ))
し'`Jし'ゝつ；・∀・)っ ))
(・∀・) Grandpa, is my name Squeeks?
(・∀・) never mind.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is my name Boon?
(´ω`) I've always called you Junior, because I hate your real name.
⊂二二二（´ω`）二二二⊃ GrandBoooo......
⊂二二二（´ω`）二二二⊃ Pa! Pa! Pa! Papapan
(・∀・) I'm almost afraid to ask...
(´ω`) "Tralfaz."
(・∀・) ...
(・∀・) I LOVE IT!
⊂二☆二（´ω`）二☆二⊃ RA-TA-TA-TA
（´ω`）Ah, the smell of gunpowder...
(・∀・) ...stinks, actually.
(´ω`) Quiet, I'm reminiscing.
(´ω`) ...
(´ω`) grunt Oh yeah, that's the stuff.
⊂二二二（ ＾∀＾）二二二⊃
(・∀・) Grandpa, should I take up Yoga or Tai Chi?
(´ω`) I would recommend Tai Quon Leap, Junior. The classes would be good for your character.
(・∀・) What are the chances that I'm going to get hurt?
(´ω`) Negligible, really. Trust your old grandpa.
(´ω`) They're very high if you think it will teach you anything about being in a real fight. Stick with Tekken Tag.
(・∀・) I play as Jin, usually. How about you, Grandpa?
(´ω`) Chun-Li.
(・∀・) Grandpa, which was your favorite Master of Orion? One, two or three?
(´ω`) Three. All I had to do was click End of Turn over and over, and I'd win.