( ???) 1000GET!

( ´ω`) ...
( ´ω`) This is the new thread, you idiot. The last one closed at 999.

(??? ) Oh, sorry...

( ´ω`) Then she'd be less likely to reject you, kid.

(･∀･) Well, that's encouraging.

(･∀･) Grandpa, how did you and Grandma first meet?

( ´ω`) It was a chilly September when we met. The cherry blossoms were falling and the chicadas were chirping loudly. A frog hopped from his perch on a branch and made a 'plop' sound as he entered the water. Two earthworms danced lewdly in the earth, making a 'crrrtchPING, crrrtchPING" sound as they did. Grandma approached me, she was wearing a sheer silk flower dress, and dark heavy boots. And also a hat made of bear meat. She smiled coquettishly, and winked at me. From that moment, it was love at first sight.

（　｀ハ´） hello, grandpa le

( ´ω`) You!

（　｀ハ´）How are you grandpa.

（　｀ハ´）All your threads are destroyed by us.

（　｀ハ´） Where is Nida?

( ´ω`) Did you check your pockets?

（　｀ハ´） No.
[pocket] < kekekeke

[pocket] < kekekeCOUGHCOUGH

[pocket] < Too much lint nida.

( ´ω`) Grandpa is not pleased. GTFO.

　∧＿∧ 　　
<丶｀∀´>　　 　　　kekekeke
|￣￣￣￣￣|　　 　　
|￣￣￣￣￣|　　　　

|　　　　　　　|　　　
　　　　　　／　
　＼　　　　　　 　　

（　｀ハ´） Okay, now get out of my pocket le.

　 kekeke
　￣V￣￣
　∧＿∧ ∧＿∧　　
<丶｀ω´<丶｀∀´>　　 　　　kekekeke... no.
|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|　　 　　
|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|　　　　

|　　　　　　　　　　|　　　
　　　　　　　　　／　
　＼　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　／　　　

( ´ω`) I swear I'm going to have to change the locks on this thread.

　 You can't kick us out!
　￣V￣￣
　∧＿∧ ∧＿∧　　
<丶｀ω´<丶｀∀´>　　 　　　We want apolojuice!
|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|　　 　　
|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|　　　　

|　　　　　　　　　　|　　　
　　　　　　　　　／　
　＼　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　／　　　

( ⌒-⌒) And so it was that the fabric of space and time unraveled completely. Seriously, you're almost as bad as that failure, Mittens.

( ´ω`) You're no better, fathead. Get out.

( ⌒-⌒) I see your memory isn't the only thing that's gone with age, Grandpa.

(･∀･) Grandpa, Is that a 1958 Buick Roadmaster in your garage? If you have that baby, why are you always taking the bus?

( ´ω`) That's not a Roadmaster. That's Happiness-san. I drive a Nash Rambler.

(･∀･) Whatever happened to George?

( ´ω`) He was hugged and squeezed and patted and petted until death by that Yeti from Bugs Bunny cartoons.

(`∀´) So guys, did I miss anything?

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ,r=''""ﾞﾞﾞli,
　　　　　　,､r=＝===､､,, ,r!'　　　...::;il!
　　　　 ,r!'ﾞﾞ´　　　　　　 ｀'ヾ;､,　..::::;r!'ﾞ
　　　 ,i{ﾞ‐',,　　　　　　　　　:l}..::;r!ﾞ
.　　,r!'ﾞ´ ´-ｰ‐‐==､;;;:....　　 :;l!:;rﾞ
　,rｼﾞ　　　　　　　 　 ｀~''=;;:;il!::'li
. illﾞ　　....　　　　　　　　　.:;ll::::　ﾞli
..il'　　 ' ' '‐‐===､;;;;;;;:.... .;;il!::　 ,il!
..ll　　　　　　　　　　｀"ﾞ''l{:::　,,;r'ﾞ
..'l!　　　　　　　. . . . . . ::l}::;rll(, 　
　'i,　　' ' -===＝＝‐ー《:::il::ﾞヾ;､ 　　　　Grandpa, you so cool!
　 ﾞi､　　　　　　 　　 　 ::li:il::　　ﾞ'＼. 　　
　　ﾞli､　　　　　　..........,,ノ;i!:....　　　 ｀' ､ 　∧＿∧
　　　`'=､:::::;;､:､==＝''シﾞﾞ'＝=-､､,,,__　｀ '(´＞＜｀)
　　　　 ｀~''''＝=＝''"ﾞ´　　　　　　　 ~`''ｰ（　　　　）

（　＾ω＾） Grandpa, are you queer?

(･∀･) Grandpa, duck, duck, duck... GOOSE!

( ´ω`) No, and no. I've got a crossword puzzle to solve.

(･∀･) Grandpa, who do you prefer? Max or Milia?

( ´ω`) Milia. Giant women have a vagina the size of a hallway.

(･∀･) Grandpa, please tell me about your adventures as an opal miner in Australia!

( ´ω`) Those were exciting times... fighting with the 'roos, ripping wealth from the raw ground and always looking skywards in terror of the dropbears...

( ´ω`) I'll never forget those warm evenings spent in the red light districts, or the smell of Squeeks' grandmother's perfume.

(･∀･) Grandpa, can you help me play Gyromite? My R.O.B. tried to rip my dick off while playing it.

(･∀･) Grandpam hurry up and die so I can inherit your fortune.

( ´ω`)

( xωx)

( ´ω`) Oh, yeah. I never amassed a fortune.

( ´ω`) You'd think you'd know that by now.

(･∀･) Grandpa, I bet you were one of those nerds who always got picked on at school.

(･∀･) Well here I am, picking up all those hot-but-fucking-stupid whores. My ego clearly surpasses yours.

( ´ω`) Yeah, yeah. Like going to the red light district stone blind drunk, waving a fistful of twenties around and yelling "HAY BABY ITS PAYDAY" at anything with tits takes any skill at all.

( ´ω`) Besides that, you're only seven. What are you even going to do with a whore, thumbdick?

(･∀･) I could ... I ...

(T∀T) waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ,r=''""ﾞﾞﾞli,
　　　　　　,､r=＝===､､,, ,r!'　　　...::;il!
　　　　 ,r!'ﾞﾞ´　　　　　　 ｀'ヾ;､,　..::::;r!'ﾞ
　　　 ,i{ﾞ‐',,　　　　　　　　　:l}..::;r!ﾞ
.　　,r!'ﾞ´ ´-ｰ‐‐==､;;;:....　　 :;l!:;rﾞ
　,rｼﾞ　　　　　　　 　 ｀~''=;;:;il!::'li
. illﾞ　　....　　　　　　　　　.:;ll::::　ﾞli
..il'　　 ' ' '‐‐===､;;;;;;;:.... .;;il!::　 ,il!
..ll　　　　　　　　　　｀"ﾞ''l{:::　,,;r'ﾞ
..'l!　　　　　　　. . . . . . ::l}::;rll(, 　
　'i,　　' ' -===＝＝‐ー《:::il::ﾞヾ;､ 　　　　Wait, if my dick's the size of my thumb, I'm in good shape!
　 ﾞi､　　　　　　 　　 　 ::li:il::　　ﾞ'＼. 　　
　　ﾞli､　　　　　　..........,,ノ;i!:....　　　 ｀' ､ 　∧＿∧
　　　`'=､:::::;;､:､==＝''シﾞﾞ'＝=-､､,,,__　｀ '(´･∀･｀)
　　　　 ｀~''''＝=＝''"ﾞ´　　　　　　　 ~`''ｰ（　　　　）

( ´ω`) To that perspective, yes, but your thumb's no bigger then the apostrophe in this sentence from normal distance.

( ´ω`) Me, on the other hand...huh huh huh huh huh. HUH HUH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HACOUGH COUGHcoughCOUGHargh arhgh...huh, yeah.

( ´ω`) Zzzzzzzzzzzz

( ´ω`) 400get.

(･∀･) HAY GRANDPA, COM OH, GET SEE RUHS

( ´ω`) Aww, looks like somebody found Grandpa's very expensive alcohol.

( ´ω`) Now go tie yourself up in the van so I can sink you with it.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ,,:::========:::,,
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ...‐''ﾞ .　　｀　´　´､ ゝ 　 ''‐...
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ..‐´　　　　　　ﾞ 　　　　　　　　 ｀‐..
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　／　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　＼
　　　　　　　　.................;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;::´　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ヽ.:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.................
　　　.......;;;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ　　 　 　 .'　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 　 　 ヽ　　　　　 ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;;;......
　 ;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ　　　　　　　　　　　　/　　　　　　　　　　　･∀･　　　　　　　　　　　　　ﾞ:　　　 　 　 　 　 　 　 ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;
　　ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;............　 　　　　　 ;ﾞ　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　　　 　　ﾞ;　　　　　　　.............;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ
　　　　　　ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.......;.............................　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ................................;.......;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ
　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　ﾞﾞﾞﾞi;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;lﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ﾉi|lli;　i　. .;,　､ 　　 .,,　　　　　　　　　　　　` ;　､　　.;　´ ;,il||iγ
　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 　 /ﾞ||lii|li||,;,.il|i;,　; . ., ,li　　　'　;　　 .`　.;　　　　il,.;;.:||i　.i| :;il|l||;(ﾞ
　　　　　 　　　　　　　 　　｀;;i|l|li||lｌｌ|||il;i:ii,..,.i||l´i,,.;,..　.il　｀,　　,i|;.,l;;:`ii||iil||il||il||l||i|liiﾞゝ
　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　 ﾞﾞ´`´ﾞ-;il||||il|||li||i||iiii;ilii;lili;||i;;;,,|i;,:,i|liil||ill|||ilill|||ii||lliﾞ/｀ﾞ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　´ﾞ｀ﾞ⌒ゞ;iill|||lli|llii:;ﾞ|lii|||||l||ilil||i|llii;|;_ﾞι´ﾟﾞ´｀ﾞ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　´ﾞﾞ´｀ﾞ｀｀´ﾞ｀ﾞ´｀｀´ﾞ｀ﾞﾞ´´

( ´ω`) Kid, I was exploding before you were a perveted desire in your dad's head.

(　　　･∀･　　　) I drank too much...

(　　　;∀;　　　) Shit, now I have to pee...

( ´ω`) The bathroom's broken, thanks to me. Go outside, in the neighbor's lawn.

(･∀･) Ahh. That was a good idea, Grandpa!

ヽ(｀Д´)ﾉ STOP PISSING IN MY LAWN!
ヽ(｀Д´)ﾉ IT'S BAD ENOUGH CRAPASS FERTILIZES IT DAILY!

　　　　　　　　Shitty lawn ahoy！！
　　　　　＼＼　Shitty lawn ahoy !!！　／／
　+　　　+　＼＼Shitty lawn ahoy!!!！／+
　　　　　　　 ∬ ∬　　　 ∬ ∬　　　 ∬ ∬　　+
　　　+　　　　 人　　　　　 人　　　　　 人　　　　 +
　 　 　 　　　（＿）　　　 （＿）　　　 （＿_）
　　+　　　　（＿＿）　　 （＿＿）　　 （＿＿）　　　　　+
.　　　+　　 （ ＿＿ ）　 （ ＿＿ ）　 （ ＿＿ ）　　+
　　　　　　（　´∀｀∩　（´∀｀∩）　（　´∀｀）
　+　　（(　（つ　　　ノ　（つ　　丿　（つ　　つ　)）　　+
　　　　　　 ヽ　 （　ノ　　（　ヽノ　　　）　）　）
　　　　　　　（＿）し'　　し（＿）　　（＿）＿）

( ´ω`) Junior, I think it's time for the talk.

(･∀･) Yes?

( ´ω`) Sit down and let me tell you about the bees and spiders, my boy. When a bee loves another bee very much, she can't do much about it because most bees are neuters and just exist to do the queen's bidding and their lives pretty much suck. When two spiders love each other very much, the boy spider will carefully dance around the girl spider in an entrancing way, carrying a little bag of sperm in each hand. Once the girl spider is hypnotized by the dance, the boy spider jumps up next to her and jams one or both bags of sperm into her girly parts. This enrages the girl spider, who will try to eat him if he doesn't get away fast enough.

(･∀･) So...

( ´ω`) Yes?

(･∀･) If I like a girl, I should stick a bag full of my sperm up her girly parts?

( ´ω`) Yes.

(･∀･) I'd better get started!

( ´ω`) That boy's going places...

( ´ω`) sniff

(･∀･) Grandpa I'm in jail. Can you pay the bail?

(･∀･) By jail, I mean Happiness-san's house, which smells like a jail.

(･∀･) Also, there's a ball gag in my mouth, and lots of weird looking probes and devices. I'm scared, Grandpa!

( ⌒-⌒) I've always wanted a cute little boy such as you to call my own, Junior...

( ⌒o⌒) Shhhh.....

( ⌒-⌒) The insertion should only hurt for a minute, my child... After that, you shall journey on endless beautiful vistas of unearthly pleasure, the likes of which you've never even imagined in your emotionally stunted little life.

( ⌒-⌒) Here comes the airplane, little junoir!

Sklurch

(･∀･) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHH!!! OH GOD!!

( ⌒-⌒) Oooh, what's this, little Junior! WHY! It's a genuine rape kit! But in your current situation, Junior, It will do you little good. Besides, it holds you back from the pleasures I am going to visit upon you...

(⌒-⌒ ) Oh well, it's the thought that counts. I shall treasure it always, as a memento of our special relationship we've developed.

(･∀･) AAAAAGHHAAAAGGHHHAAAGGGAAAA!!!

( ⌒-⌒) Oh Junior, you're so deliciously tight! It feels great! Ahhh!!

Meanwhile...

　　　〃∩ ∧＿∧
　　　⊂⌒（ ´ω`） 　Nothin' like looking through my loli stash ♪
　　　　 ｀ヽ_っ⌒/⌒ｃ 　　　　
　　　　　　　 ⌒ ⌒

(･ω･) Cease and desist, villian!

　　　〃∩ ∧＿∧
　　　⊂⌒（ ´ω`） 　What do you want, Crapshit?
　　　　 ｀ヽ_っ⌒/⌒ｃ 　　　　
　　　　　　　 ⌒ ⌒
(･ω･) Whoops, wrong basement.

(X∀X)

( ⌒-⌒) Shit, he died.

(⌒-⌒ ) Guess I'll go get Mittens.

(･ω･) Not this time, evildoer!

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Wha??

(･ω･) Oh, it's just Mittens. I'd better conviently leave so you can be kidnapped.

(･∀･) I'm back from the dead, rapist-san...and I'm going to kill you!

( ⌒-⌒) You can't kill me! The more people hate me, the more that one asshole out there posts me! BWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA

Kindness-san
☆

Junior
☆☆☆☆☆

（ ´ω`）Grandpa: Level 99
HP: 9999/9999
MP: 999/999
Str: 999 at times; 1 when lazy as fuck
Def: Based upon the strength of stench of Armor
Spd: -999
MAtk: 999, 1 when lazy as fuck
MDef: 999

Weapon: Beating stick
Armor: Stinky clothes
Accessory: Onion Ring (replacement for Wedding Ring)
Acessory: Lolicon Ring (Lolis in the area add stat boosts and/or status effects)

Top 5 Spells: Vile Fart, Lolisault, Yawn, Snore, Yell

(⌒-⌒ ) We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.

( ⌒-⌒) Junior, this hole I put in your throat is so tight!

(･∀･) Gag, kak, aaccck....

( ´ω`) Okay, I officially give up on this thread. You freaks win, it's all yours.

(´ω` ) I'm going drinking until the next thread starts.

　 ∧＿∧　　　∧＿∧　　　∧＿∧　　 ∧＿∧　 　 　　∧＿∧
　（　・∀・） 　 （　｀ー´）　　（　´∀｀）　 （　ﾟ ∀ﾟ ）　　　　(　´ω`) now fuck off.
　（　　　　つ┳∪━━∪━∪━━∪━∪━∪━┳⊂　 　 　つ
　｜ ｜　|　 ┃This thread has peacefully ended.┃　｜ ｜ ｜
　（_＿）＿） ┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻　（_＿）＿）　　　　　

( ´ω`) I'm back! Anyone got some questions for me?

(´ω` ) Okay, I'm going drinking until the next thread starts.

( ⌒-⌒) How much for the boy?

( ´ω`) I'm back! Anyone got some real questions for me?
( ⌒-⌒) Like I said...
(´ω` ) Okay, I'm going drinking again.

(･∀･) What's your last name, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) Grandpa.

(´ω` ) Okay, I'm going drinking until the next thread starts.

LEVEL UP

( ´ω`) Grandpa is now, an Alcholic!

( ´ω`) I badly need to pee... All that orange juic... I mean, whiskey!

(´ω` ) Okay, I'm going drinking until I pee.

( ´ω`)
(´ω` )
( ´ω`)
(´ω` )
( ´ω`)
(´ω` )
( ´ω`)
(´ω` )
( ´ω`)
(´ω` )
( ´ω`)
(´ω` )
( ´ω`)
(´ω` )
( ´ω`)
(´ω` )

(･∀･) Drunkpa, what do you think of my site? I call it fakewikichan.

>>444

( ´ω`) Great work son. We need more people to think as originally as you.

(･∀･) Thanks!

( ・ω・) ... It says "Virus alert"

( ´ω`) Why the hell is my thread reverse?!