( LƒÖ`) I'm way ahead of my time.
(EÍE) 2GETing for later use!
(EÍE) Hey, Grandpa! Good thing we have a spare Part 9, right?
5 GET
(EÍE)
(EÍE)
(EÍE)
(EÍE)
(EÍE)
(EÍE) Grandpa, there's another Part 9 with more posts.
(EÍE) ...most of those are "lol."
(EÍE) Should we use this thread instead of that one?
( LƒÖ`) We used to...
( LƒÖ`) Damn, can't remember
( EƒÖE) Same thing you did before bathrooms, throw it out your window on unsuspecting people below you.
(EÍE) Sounds like fun!
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before your threads turned to shit?
( E-E) Don't you remember Junior? You used to ask me all your questions.
( E-E) Okay...a truel.
( E-E) TOO BAD YOUR GUN IS NOW MADE OF PILLS
( E-E) I know you don't have enough CTRL+V to kill me. This isn't 2-ch.
( LƒÖ`) I have the powers of CTRL+C And CTRL+V as well as the unheard of powers of CTRL+X
(EÍE) What was life like before Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V, Grandpa?
E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co
(EAE) GRANDPA!!! HE E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@ E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@ E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@ E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@ E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@ E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@I feel co E-E)@
( LƒÖ`) My eyes hurt. Junior, mind getting me my glasses ?
(EÍE) Glasses? You have glasses, grandpa?
( LƒÖQ) The monocle, it does nothing!
(-œƒÖœ) These are not mine Junior. You suck.
( EƒÖE) Anyone see my glasses? They were just here a minute ago...
( LƒÖ`)‚Â-œ-œ@These are yours? No wonder they suck.
(-œƒÖœ) Hello everybody, I'm Grandpa. Really!
(EÍE) I'm not falling for that again, Clonepa!
(-œƒÖœ) Who iz zeese klounba?
(-m-) Those are actually mine, durrrrrrrr.
(iœjĪªª²iœjDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MY GLASSES
(EÍE)‚Â-o--o So is this yours, grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) No junior, you dont need glasses when you have alcohol.
(EÍE)‚Â-o--o how is this alchol?
( E-E) And you say my plots are bad.
( E-E) ...
( E-E) ...I'm still here because I see no reason to leave yet. Hard to believe, but this thread can actually be derailed farther than it already has.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was "vinyl"?
(^œƒÖœ) Yo, dis be RapPa, imma DJ widda bling bling PJ! I'm scratchin' da records and settin' da floah on faiya!
@¿_¿
@( EƒÖE)@Sorry, I unlocked the cages in the basement again.
c(,_‚•‚•É
( LƒÖ`) god i gotta fart
(EÍE) ugh...
(EÍE) ...
(EÍE) So grandpa, what was "vinyl"?
( LƒÖ`) Vinyl was what we used to wear for pance, back before the great fire.
@¿_¿
@( E-E)@GrandPance in a vinyl coat was a sight that made everybody stick burning candles in their eyes.
c(,_‚•‚•É
(EÍE) ...
( -Í-) ...
(EÍE) Was beady eyes actually funny?
(EÍE) I think I better go solo for a while to make sure everything goes according to plan.
(EÍE) No Junior, he was never funny.
(EÍE) Then why is he still here?
(EÍE) I don't want to know, Junior.
( LƒÖ`) You're making fun of me, Junior. That's not funny.
(EÍE) None of us have been funny for quite some time.
( LƒÖ`) You don't need to be funny when you're LEGENDARY
@¿_¿
@( E-E)@It's just Legerdemain, nothing legendary about gay magic.
c(,_‚•‚•É
( ß ƒŽß) Hello, I came to look for my mittens Junior, if you know wha... OH MY GOD A BEAR! What shall a poor mittenless innocent little loli like me do in a situation like this?
( LƒÖ`) When did this thread stop being about me and start being about 4ch users airing their grievances using my face?
( LƒÖ`) Wait, is it happening right now?
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before 4ch was popular?
( LƒÖ`) 4-ch isn't popular.
( ß ƒŽß) OH MY GOD THAT BEAR IS STILL AROUND! What shall a poor hymenless innocent little whore like me do in a situation like this?
( ß -ß) Get back here you stupid bear!
( LƒÖ`) Mittens you are a cheap little whore and you know it.
( ß -ß) Yet I'm not allowed to call myself a loli. Your hypocrisy astounds me Grandpa.
((ß -ß) Yep, Im just a gigantic cliche.
(((( ß -ß)))) it's getting cold in here by the way.
(((((((((((((((( LƒÖ`)))))))))))))))) Grandpa is evolving!
(EÍE) Grandpa, Let's go to the zoo!
(EÍE) Grandpa, we're not in a storybook...
( LƒÖ`) Stupid monkeys saved my life in the war!
(EÍE) Tell me this story doesn't involve poo..
( E-E) It does, and starngely enough it looks just like Grandpa.
( LƒÖ`) Back in my day, we used to wing it like the monkeys would fling it.
( LƒÖ`) However, while the vast majority of us have advanced past that stage in evolution, Beady Eyes is still struggling.
( LƒÖ`) Lets all pity him for a split second, and then kick him out of here.
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ_È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi EÍEj@ ß@100GET, bitch!!@ @@@ @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i @@@j
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@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````
( LƒÖ`) Damnit Junior, you know that you need to do that to Beady eyes. What's that faceless fellow ever done to you?
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi @@@j@ ß@REVENGE, bitch! @@@ @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’iEÍEj
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„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@While you're at it... @@@ @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’iEÍEj
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ß >@@ Q_@ƒm )j< @ „ @-=@rŽM@ ‚Â
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„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@Could kick myself for that, meant to splash Beady Eyes.
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’iLƒÖ`j
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ß >@@ Q_@ƒm )j< @ „ @-=@r@ ‚Â
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„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßiEÍEj@ ß@Grandpa, why haven't we kicked Beady Eyes yet?
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’iLƒÖ`j
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ß >@@ Q_@ƒm )j< @ „ @-=@r@ ‚Â
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„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@That's a good question, Junior.@@ @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’iEÍEj
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„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@Get the fuck out, beady eyes!@@ @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i E-Ej
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@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````
iEÍEj When did beady eyes grow rabbit ears?
iEÍEjAnd where was I when all this happened?
( LƒÖ`) Well, it seems your father was right. You are on cocaine. This is an intervention, sonny.
iEÍEj That wasn't sugar I put on my morning coffee??
iEÍEj
iEÍEj ?
( LƒÖ`) I'm back. What'd I miss?
( LƒÖ`) They ran out of beer. Can you believe that?
( LƒÖ`) I just wanted a sip. It's all I ask.
( EÍE) You don't have money, do you...?
( LƒÖ`) I told 'em to put it on my tab, but do they listen? NO!
( ߃€ß) Your tab is astronomical. If you put anything else on it, we will run out of digits on the calculator.
( LƒÖ`) It's not my fault I've lived this long!
( ߃€ß) But you've only been coming to my bar for 3 days.
( LƒÖ`) Exactly my point!
( EÍE) Grandpa, booze is bad for you anyway. Let's go to Rei's and get us some fountain drinks.
( LƒÖ`) Do they have whiskey? Bourbon? Maybe some cheap wine?
@@@-]]- A
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( LƒÖ`) Fine with me as long as it has fermented.
( EÍE) Grandpa, you drink pruno? I didn't know that you spent time in prison.
( LƒÖ`) You name it, I've served 84 to life there.
( EÍE) How can you serve an 84-year sentence when it's always 1993?
( LƒÖ`) DQN is my life sentence.
( EÍE) What are you in for?
( EÍE) ...
( EÍE) Infact, what am I in for?
( LƒÖ`) We're both in here for crimes we didn't commit, Junior. Time is short for me, Junior. Use the secret passage I've been making all these long years and escape from DQN, and seek your revenge.
( EÍE) ...
( EÍE) So, Beady eyes, about those pills..
( E-E) I'm not really into the pill thing any more.
( LƒÖ`) What, you found something even less funny to harp on?
( E-E) Chicken butt!
( E-E) .... wait I did it wrong...
( LƒÖ`) La! La! Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! La la!
(EÍE) Grandpa, I can't wait for 1993-09-5000!
( LƒÖ`) 5000? OH GOD... I just remembered, I'm supposed to DIE that day!
( E-E) I'm making a note on my calendar.
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@I said get the fuck out, beady eyes!@
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i E-Ej
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@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@@ ¿_¿ Oh, you'll rue the day, Grandpa!
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@@i E-Ej
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PPPPPPPPP|
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |@
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |@@@@@@ ¿_¿ gurgle
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````
( E-E) I'm not staying. I'm escaping from DQN while there's still time!
@@@@@@@@@@‚
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(EÍE) Grandpa, I'm very scared.
( LƒÖ`) Don't be, Junior. Death is just part of life. Price of admission, don'cha'know.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( LƒÖ`) See?
( E-E) I'm free! Free from DQN! Bye, you fools!
( LƒÖ`) Don't let the door hit your fuzzy little ass on the way out.
( ^ - ^) OMG TEH THANKIES!!!!! BUT WHERSE TEH JUNIOR/GRANDPA YAOI?! I NEED MEH YAOI TO LIVE 4 IT IZ MY LAIF SUPPORTZ!!!! BTW MITTENS SUCKS AND SO DOES NATUMI AND THE OTHER GIRLS THAT BARELY APPEAR IN THESE STORIES!!!!!
(EÍE) If this is his replacement, I'll take beady eyes back in a heartbeat.
( LƒÖ`) I really need to replace the lock on the front door sometime.
( ^ - ^) HAVE GHEY BUTSEKS NAO!!!!
( LƒÖ`(EAE) OW OW OW OW OW GRANDPA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
(EÍE) Grandpa, a booming voice in my head just called out and said "5 DAYS". What does that mean?
(EÍE) It's not cancer, is it?
( LƒÖ`) No, it's worse than that. It's October!
(EÍE) Ockwhatbur?
( LƒÖ`) Durrrrrr...You know, son, I looked a lot like you when I wax younger. Then Brock gouged out my beady eyes in jealousy. Ever since then, I want you to kill Brock.
(EÍE) What's this have to do with Ockwhatbur?
( ß ƒŽß) Roark is the new Brock!
(- _ -) Ah, Grandp-
(E _ E) MY NAME IS BROCK!
(EÍE) ...
(E _ E) ...
( x_ x)
(EÍE) I killed Brock!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@@@@@@@@@@‚
@@@@@@@@@@@@B
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(((@ƒ°>(ƒÃ߃nß)„x
( ^ - ^) ...
( ^ A ^) DIE MITTENS!!!
( ß ƒŽß) Tie-dye my mittens?
( ß ƒŽß) MITTENS!
( ^ - ^) NOOO NOT THAT
( x - x) ughhhh the vagina has destroyed me
( ß ƒŽß) ???
(EÍE) Grandpa, why must we freeze at home when there is so much coal?
( LƒÖ`) You're ould-fashiouned, Juniour.
(EÍE) Grandpa! The voice called out again! It said "4 DAYS". I'm scared, Grandpa!
( ß ƒŽß) ...
( ß ƒŽß) That was me!
(EÍE) Am... am I going to die? In only 4 days?
( LƒÖ`) You, me, and everyone else in this hellhole. Hope you enjoyed life so far, kid.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before we were all going to die in four days?
( LƒÖ`) ...
(EÍE) Grandpa... I don't want to die!!!
(EÍE) The voice! THE VOICE! IT SAID "3 DAYS"! OH GOD, GRANDPA, DO SOMETHING!
( LƒÖ`) I can't. We're all going to die.
( E-E) IT'S LESS THAN 9000!
( E-E) Sheesh, get a grip Gramps.
( LƒÖ`) Weren't you supposed to be dead?
( E-E) is it time to release the mittens?
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@GET OUT BITCH
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i E-Ej
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( ß ƒŽß)@I have been released!
@ GET OUT BITCH!
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(EÍE) Mittens, I want to ask you something...
( ß ƒŽß) Yes, Junior?
(EÍE) Before we all die horribly, could I, you know, have... sex with you?
(^¤^) That makes me so happy Junior!
( ß -ß) On the other hand, that's a sin and I wanna go to Heaven after the world ends.
( ß ƒŽß) So NO!!
( E-E) < I just had the strangest dream...
( E-E) < I dreamed we were all gonna die and somebody kicked me off a cliff.
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@What, like this?
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i E-Ej yeah.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(EÍE) Grandpa, as you may have guessed, the voice called out again. As you may also have guessed, it said "2 DAYS". Is there truly nothing we can do to stop the end of the world? Nothing we can turn to?
( LƒÖ`) Jeez, kid. It's inevitable. Stop whining about it, you're giving me a headache.
( ß ƒŽß) I know how to stop it!
( ß ƒŽß) ‘‚I Mittens‚ðI
@ @¿QQQ¿
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@ |@@@@( _œ_)@ƒ~@@You called?
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( LƒÖ`) The rabbit's at the bottom of the ocean. Go bother him.
(EÍE) HOLY SHIT A BEAR! IS THAT HOW WE ALL DIE????
( LƒÖ`) Sure, why not?
|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|"PPÞÞ`¿::::::I'm not going to eat you guys.
| @@@@ @R:::::::::::::::::::::::::
|œ@@@œ i'ÞPÞÞÞ`''¤::::::::::::::::
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(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before bears invaded our thread?
( LƒÖ`) sigh... You're really reaching these days, Junior.
(@¥ิm¥ิ) Don't worry about being eaten by bears, son. It won't hurt all that much. You'll go into shock long before they really start ripping chunks of your flesh off.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Whoops, had my Frankpa mask on by mistake.
.
.
(EÍE) k
( ß ƒŽß) ZOMG! Death by bear! I can enjoy that!
ƒ°>(ƒÃ߃nß)„x ‹o O (...All is going according to plan.)
(EÍE) What plan? We'll all be dead in a day.
( ߃Ðß) Bears? I love bears!
( > A <) I hate bears...
(EÍE) Whee! One day left!
( LƒÖ`) Junior, would you like some kool aid?
(EÍE) Drink Grandpa's kool-aid? I don't know about this.
( LƒÖ`) C'mon, drink it. Clonepa did, and he's doing great. See?
( xƒÖx)
(EÍE) No, I'd rather be alive so I can see DQN end.
( EƒÖE) I'm still alive. I was just spending a little time dead for tax reasons.
(EÍE) I suck cocks
( E-E) Time to pay your inheritance tax, Clonepa. The same goes for everybody else tomorrow.
( LƒÖ`) Get out, beady-eyes. Take Clonepa with you.
( E-E) Be patient, Grandpa. All you have to do is wait a few more hours.
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@I said GET OUT!
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^@-=ß ‚’i E-Ej alright already, jeeeeeeeeez...
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@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````
( E-E) Just a little longer...
@ƒ°>(ƒÃ߃nß)„x@@@B
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@@@@@@i x-xj@@@@
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(EÍE) Grandpa, can tanasinn save us?
( EƒÖE) Well, I can't say I haven't had a good run.
( LƒÖ`) You're far too modest. You've had a terrible run.
(;EÍE) oh god oh god oh god oh god we're doomed
( E-E) IT'S THE END
( LƒÖ`) Bring it on!
( E-E) THE DAY OF DESTRUCTION HAS COME
( LƒÖ`) Whaddya know, we're still here!
(EÍE) I knew we weren't gonna die.
( EƒÖE) B-but that was MY CHANCE!!! My chance to take the spotlight from Grandpa! Why??? WHY?!?
( E-E) I am thoroughly disappointed.
„‹(`„DL„‹) WHY did you steal my question?
( ß ƒŽß) What are those red lights coming from the sky?!?!
( ß ƒŽß) Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see!
( E-E) I'm just a poor boy, and I'm ruining the song for you
È_È@ ¿@
( ß ƒŽß)œc™
@¼œc™))-E) ow.
@@™
(ßÍß) It's the end of the world as we know it~
(ßÍß) And I feel fine~
(ßÍß) End of Worlds always make me hungry for a sandwich.
( E-E) You've been popping the happy pills again, Junior. Your eyes betray you.
(ßÍß) I SEE STARS!!!
(ßÍß) 5000 OF THEM!!!
i ‹ ‚£ ‹ j Oh my God, it's full of stars.
( LƒÖ`) Oh my God, it's full of idiots.
( E-E) Ach mein Gott, ist ich fullen der drug junkies!
i EÍEjWhy is it full of idiots grandpa?
i EÍEjGroßvater, sprechen Sie Deutsches?
(ßÍß) Oh mon dieu, c'est plein d'étoiles !!!
( LƒÖ`) Stop it, you're giving me flashbacks of WW2.
( LƒÖ`) que?
( LƒÖ`) nanda to?
(ßÍß) „}„€„z „q„€„s, „€„~„€ „„€„|„~„€ „x„r„u„x„t !
( ß ƒŽß) Oh my God, it's full of Russians!
( LƒÖ`) In Soviet Russia... what?
(ßÍß) Mordor, o ho nono enter!
( LƒÖ`) Speak friend, and enter.
(ßÍß) 5001: A Time Odyssey!
( LƒÖ`) Who're you again?
(ßÍß) A giant pretzel!
( LƒÖ`) Arruckus -- men call it Doon, the Dessert Planet. It is a sugar covered wasteland entirely devoid of entrees, patrolled by a terrifying species of giant pretzel. This savage world is the setting for an apocalyptic drama. On one side is the evil baron Vladimir Hardchargin -- ruthless, voracious, extremely fat. Opposing him: Pall Agamemnides, the teen-ager who may {or may not} be the messiah. Paul's only allies are the planet's nomadic tribes, the fiercely religious, sweatsuit-wearing Freedmenmen. These forces clash in a deadly contest over Doon's one precious resource, a substance found nowhere else in the universe: the mind-altering liquid known as beer.
( ß -ß) I must not have fun. Fun is the time-killer. Fun is for
inferiors, servants and the help. I will ignore fun. I will work
through it. And when the fun is gone only I will remain--I, and
my will to win. Damn, I'm good.
( LƒÖ`) Man sure loves his singing.
(EÍE) Wish we did...
( LƒÖ`) Not too bad, Junior, not too bad.
( LƒÖ`) Watch out for those sunbeams, Junior. I read today that now photons have mass.
(EÍE) You mean they didn't before?
( LƒÖ`) Nope.
(EƒÖE) Those photons are eating too much lately.
Wheeeee! I'm a photon!
@@ @@È_È@@@@@@whump
@ = ßi,, ¥ƒÖ¥jA@^ÜR@ @
@@@@¼ ¼@@))j:;jƒÖLjƒ Damn you, Clonepa, this will not stand!
@@ß<^<^ ¼@@‚nj@
@@@@@@@@ @@i@@@R
@@@@@@@@@@ ¾P_ )
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@...so GTFO! @@@ @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i@¥ƒÖ¥j
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ß >@@ Q_@ƒm )j< @ „ @-=@rŽM@ ‚Â
„Ÿ@=ß@ (@^@ß @@ ^VV_-=ß¼ ¤@>>
„Ÿ„Ÿ .=ß( ƒm@=ß@@ @@@@@@@@-=@ ‚µ'
PPPPPPPPP|
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````
( E-E) GRANDPA THE UNIVERSE ENDED ON 1993-09-5000 SO WAKE UP AND TAKE YOUR PILLS YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN.
( LƒÖ`) Okay, before I kick you off the pier to drown your sad rabbit self again, explain to me how there'd be so much fun happening after the end of the universe. Seriously.
( E-E) um... you're still asleep.
( LƒÖ`) I have to thank you for waking me. If you hadn't shown up... my sleep... would have been eternal.
( LƒÖ`) Do you hear me, Clonepa?
( LƒÖ`) I . . . am Grandpa. I am here to send you to your ultimate fate. You'll make a fine quarry for my final hunt.
( LƒÖ`) This thread is making me wish that the world really did end on 93-9-5000.
( LƒÖ`) What a train wreck.
(LƒÖ` ) Now, follow me! To a land of alcohol! ...and peanuts.
(EÍE ) Yay, peanuts!
( E-E) I don't approve of alcoholic beverages.
( E-E) ...or peanuts.
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@Did I say you can come back here, beady?@
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i@E-Ej
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ß >@@ Q_@ƒm )j< @ „ @-=@rŽM@ ‚Â
„Ÿ@=ß@ (@^@ß @@ ^VV_-=ß¼ ¤@>>
„Ÿ„Ÿ .=ß( ƒm@=ß@@ @@@@@@@@-=@ ‚µ'
PPPPPPPPP|
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````
@¿_¿
@( E-E)@ So much for constructive criticism
```````````````````````
@¿_¿
```````````````````````
@( E-E)@ Apparently bunny ears cannot be used as a flotation device.
@¿_¿
```````````````````````
@@@ B
@@@ß
@( E-E)@ Or maybe they could, if they were attached a bit better.
@¿_¿
```````````````````````
@@@ B
@@@ß
@( E-E)@ Ah the lamentations of one who is without his inflatable bunny ears. Surely I shall soon drown.
@¿_¿
```````````````````````
@@@ B
@@@ß
@ B
@@ B
@( ._.)@ How much further, I wonder...
@¿_¿
```````````````````````
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@( ._.)@ Is that a treasure chest?
@¿_¿
```````````````````````
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@( x_x)@ Nope. Just my grave. Sigh...
( LƒÖ`) I was afraid he'd never shut up.
( E-E) Well, continue to live in fear, then.
( LƒÖ`) How many siblings does that beady fag have?!
( E-¼)] OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND!
( LƒÖ`) Take those foul things off before someone sees you!
@@@@@@@ÈQÈ@¿Q¿
@@@@@@¿EƒÖE@ji@E-Ej@
@@@@@@R@@@@.ji@‚Â÷@‚X@@@
@@@@@@|PPPPPPPP|
@@@@@@|. DQN Partyvan .|
@@@@@@|QQQQQQQQ|@@
@@@@@ .||. ÈQÈ@@ÈÈ@ ||@@
@@@@@ .|| i LƒÖ` j@(@EÍE)@||
@@@@@ ||-„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ||@
@@@@@ ||@QQQQQQQ@.||@-HONK HONK-
@@@@@.||QQ@@@@@@@QQ||@
@@@@@.|ZZ|ßß@ßß.|ZZ|
@@@@ .o“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ<RMÍL>“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñp
@@@@@ ™@@@@@@@@@ @ ™
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@@@@@@| . DQN Partyvan . |
@@@@@@|QQQQQQQQ|@@
@@@@@ .||. ÈQÈ@@ÈÈ@ ||@@Whee, took the curve a bit
@@@@@ .|| i LƒÖ` j@(@EÍE)||@ too tighly there Grandpa!
@@@@@ ||-„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ||@
@@@@@ ||@QQQQQQQ@.||@
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(||||)
You can't see the face of God.
But sup anyway, Grandpa. I'll see you in a few months.
( LƒÖ`) Fine, but this time you're paying for the beer.
( LƒÖ`)
( (EÍE) )
( LƒÖ`) Quit staring like that. You're creeping out your grandfather.
(i@E-E@j)
(@Í@) dizzy...
(EÍE) nurupo
(EÍE) wait, who's driving?
( LƒÖ`) I'm driving. I'm always driving this thread.
i E-Ej Wrong. I control this thread. I CONTROL THIS ENTIRE BOARD.
(EÍE) No wonder DQN's gone to hell.
[ ¤...¤ ] HELLO, EVERYBODY.
[@ ¤..¤n WHERE IS THAT MITTEN CRAZY ENTITY. I HAVE COME FROM THE FUTURE TO ASSASSINATE HIM BEFORE HE CREATES THE END OF THE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT.
(EÍE) Why? 5000 came and went already.
(EÍE) ...
(EAE) Mittens is a trap?
[@¤..¤ n MITTENS ITSELF IS NOT A TRAP. MITTENS AS IT IS WILL ATTEMPT TO CREATE THE ULTIMATE PAIR OF MITTENS IN ALL THE EXISTANCE OF TIME.
[@¤..¤ n IT WILL BECOME SENTIENT, AND KILL EMPRESS REI, DESTROYING ALMOST ALL OTHER ENTITIES TO CREATE A NEW WORLD, A WORLD OF LIVING MITTENS.
[@¤..¤ n ONLY A FEW SURVIVED, FORMING A SMALL RESISTANCE. THEY CANNOT FIGHT FOR MUCH LONGER. THEY CREATED ME TO GO BACK IN TIME AND PREVENT THE WAR, AND THE CREATION OF THE ULTIMATE MITTEN
[ ¤...¤ n IT IS NO SECRET THAT THE MITTENS HAS AN UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH MITTENS. IT WILL DESIRE TO TURN ITSELF INTO A REAL, SENTIENT MITTEN. THAT IS THE END OF ALL..
( LƒÖ`) You dweebs are ridiculous. It's almost as if your attention spans are growing every day.
( LƒÖ`) As for mine...
( LƒÖ`)! Wait, what was I...
(LƒÖ` ) Oh yeah, alchol..
(LƒÖ` ) N..no wait. Zzzzzz
( LƒÖ`) I think the wolves finally ate the last one, Junior.
( LƒÖ`) Guess I'll have to whip up a new batch sometime.
(EƒÖE) ...im right here guys
( LƒÖ`) ....aaaaaand the new batch is ready.
(EÍE) Granpa,where are clonepas made?
( LƒÖ`) Quit calling me that Junior, I'm not your "granpa", I'm your grandpa. Grandpa. You can do it, it's not that hard.
(EÍE) Oh right, sorry granpa.
( LƒÖ`)
( E-E) So, Cramps, howzit goin?
( E-E) Aww, don't be like that, homeslice!!!
@ /~_@/~_@
@ b@bb@b
@b@bb@b@
@*b@‚k_|@/ *
@^@@@@ `R
/@@@@@@@`
b œ@@@ œ@b
_@@\@@@ /@@I'm too cute to be kicked around.
@ „[\\\ ƒ
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~P[-"\
[-` P~
@ /~_@/~_@
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b œ@@@ œ@bYou're crampin' my style, Cramps.
_@@P@@@ /@
@ „[\\\ ƒ
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~P[-"\
[-` P~
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before this thread started to suck due to running out of original and unique content?
(EÍE) Wait, nevermind. I've already read that line... What page are we on?
(EÍE) Grandpa, how complex is the new node texturing system in Lightwave 9.2?
( LƒÖ`) Read the fucking manual, Junior.
(EÍE) Where can I find a torrent of the manual?
( LƒÖ`) Wherever google search results can be found junior.
(EÍE) Where can I find googles to get results? They do nothing, Grandpa!
(EÍE) Er, I mean Granpa.
( ߤß) Just passing by!
( ߤß) Is this the place where the legendary GranPops is?
( ߤß)=ü)`ƒËß) Hey GranPops! Check out my punch!
( ߤß) Okay, bye!
(EÍE) ...
(EÍE)=O)-E)
(EÍE) Cool.
( LƒÖ`) Junior, penis does not go in Beady Eyes
( LƒÖ`) Next time, use a knife.
(EÍE) Dammit, Gramps, it's a fist. A FIST. If you weren't older than the universe I'd guess you were twelve.
( LƒÖ`) You call that a fist?
( LƒÖ`)“ñœ)AE) THIS IS TOO MUCH METAL FOR ONE HEAD!
)AE) ... you put a dent in my face!
( LƒÖ`)“ñœ)AE) Here, use this to fill in the dent.
œ)Aœ) The sunglasses, they do nothing!
(œ)Í(œ) vrooom!
(œ)Í(œ) Grandpa, I have BOOBIES for eyes!
( LƒÖ`) who fucking cares?
(œ)Í(œ) The boobies, they do nothing!
( LƒÖ`) ...
hmm.. kneading tits
( LƒÖ`)‚Â(œ)Í(œ)
(EÍE) DESU
( E-E) Sounds suspiciously like you came.
( 0_0) SMILE MORE, DAMMIT.
( LƒÖ`) Okay, nap time, kiddies.
(LƒÖ` ) Grandpa needs a drink, you see.
@¿_¿@@U
@( E-E)‚ÂI -Cheers Cramps!
@¿_¿@ U
@( E-E)‚ÂI -Damn, some glue and the glass is whole again.
( LƒÖ`) A wine cooler? You're drinking a wine cooler?
( LƒÖ`) What a pussy.
(EÍE) Fag-a-BEEFY!
( E-E) This is madness.
(EÍE) No, it's midnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!
'eyepoke'
( E-E)‚ÂAE)
( LƒÖ`) You did it wrong. It should be
( `ƒÖL) MADNESS?! IT'S MIDNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
( LƒÖ`) You did it wrong. It should be
( `ƒÖL) MADNESS?! IT'S MIDNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit! Double post!
etc.
(EÍE) Grandpa, even I don't understand this thread anymore.
( LƒÖ`) It will all make sense to you in a matter of...
( LƒÖ`) Well I'm not at liberty to say
( LƒÖ`)In the mean time, this is where I jack off
(EÍE)...
( LƒÖ`)
(LƒÖ` )
LƒÖ` )
ƒÖ` )
` )
)
)
(EÍE)...
( E-E) It's alright Junior, you can jerk off.
(EÍE)... aren't you dead?
( E-E) I returned as your disembodied conscience.
(EÍE) You don't look very disembodied to me.
( E-E) That's from all the acid.
(EÍE) HOTTTT free lesbo blowjobs! anal amateur teen sex fuck...
( E-E) "lesbo blowjobs?" What?
(EÍE) Becuase his name is Jack Lesbo.
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@Who the fuck let you in here?!@@ @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i E-Ej
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ß >@@ Q_@ƒm )j< @ „ @-=@rŽM@ ‚Â
„Ÿ@=ß@ (@^@ß @@ ^VV_-=ß¼ ¤@>>
„Ÿ„Ÿ .=ß( ƒm@=ß@@ @@@@@@@@-=@ ‚µ'
PPPPPPPPP|
@ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ |
@ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````````````````
(EÍE) Grandpa, why I have no friends coming to my house any more?
( ß ƒŽß) GrandPa won't kick me! He thinks I'm a good influence on you, Junior. Do you want to fuck?
(EÍE) Grandpa, why are all the people coming to our house complete idiots?
( LƒÖ`) Because you want Mittens.
(EÍE) ???
(EÍE) Grandpa, Jimbo Whales seems pretty cool.
( EÍ( > ƒŽ<) Oh, disregard that.
( LƒÖ`) Aimai centi sore puni-tte koto kai? Cho!
(EÍE) Wrapping ga seifuku lovery-tte koto nai? Boon!
i E-EjGanbacchau yatyattyau?
( ß ƒŽß) Sontokkya chanto release yo I say (Hoo) I say (Hoo) tanima ni
@@@@@@(EÍE)@@@i E-Ej
( LƒÖ`) Darling darling please! ( ß ƒŽß)
@@@@@@@@@@G
@@@@@@@@@@R
@@@@@@@ @@™
@@@@@@@@@@N
@@@@@@@@@@D
@@@@@@@@@@P
@@@@@@@@@@A
( LƒÖ`) ...and that was the exact moment people stopped caring about my threads.
i E-EjYou mean we cared to begin with?
([œ‚Rœ)
Hey, daddy-o. I'm just gonna chill here for awhile if that;s cool with you dudes.
( LƒÖ`) It's all yours. I hear my old friend alcohol beckoning again.
|ƒÖ` )
|œc
( E-E) Oh, the old leaving to get drunk gag, yeah that's breaking new ground there.
( E-E) I try to bring fresh new material to this thread and am tormented for it, but good ol' gramps can do the same crap over and over and over and over and over and over and over and the people love it.
(EÍE) Your "fresh new material" sucked ass, you dipshit.
@@@-]]- A
^@@@@@R
!@ !@l|,.iÉl_Éj
i @˜§-]@|! i I seem to have wandered into the wrong thread.
_R .U@- Ƀm
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„ª„ª‚„ª‚„ª„ª‡‡‡========
==@@ THE REI'S DINOR@@ @==
‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡
( ಠmƣ) I say, get back to the pub and bring me my Daiquiri Grenadine, wench.
( LƒÖ`) I leave to get drunk but it turns out I have to babysit you guys after all.
( Ü-Ü) Beady eyes.... you have no friends.
( E-E) Well, your farts smell!
( Ü - Ü ) JIGGLYPUFF IS EVOLVING
( LƒÖ`) 399
400-
( LƒÖ(EÍE) 400 GET!!
(EÍE) Haha, pwned you, Grandpa! PWNED!11
( LƒÖ`) Junior, stop hanging out with the retards at school. They're obviously a bad influence.
(EÍE) woh carse kan u giev SOJ
Here's your SOJ unf unf
( LƒÖ(EAE)
(EÍE) U HAV SOJJJJ
( LƒÖ`) 404, English not found.
( LƒÖ`) Life? No life existed before Diablo II.
(EÍE) Then how did they make Diablo I?
( LƒÖ`) That's not my question to answer.
(EÍE) ...
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before Time Cube?
(EÍE) What was life like before I was stupid?
( LƒÖ`) I didn't have to answer stupid questions.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before stupid questions?
( LƒÖ`) ....
(EÍE) ....
( LƒÖ`) ....
i E-E) ...
(EÍE) BOOM!
i E-E) BOOM SHAKA LAKA
( LƒÖ`) I swear to god that kid was dropped on his head.
|-E) ...........................
( LƒÖ`) And what kind of 8-year old still wets his bed?
DRAMA! \(@L[M)ƒm
|-E) ,,,I'm sorry Cramps, so come change my sheets
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like back when this thread wasn't legendary?
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like back when this thread wasn't legendary?
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like back when this thread wasn't legendary?
i E-E) Amazing work there, Junior. If I had to select 3 posts that summed up your life entirely, it would be those ones.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like back when this thread wasn't legendary?
( LƒÖ`) Grandpa, what was life like back when this thread wasn't legendary?
i E-E) You should do something about your Alzheimer's, Cramps.
(EÍE) Don't ask the same stuff four times in a row, Junior.
( LƒÖ`) Alright Junior, jokes over.
( LƒÖ`) It's time for everyone to take their pills.
( E-E) .......somethin's not right here.
( E-E) Grandpa! What should I do if I'm inspired by a sudden need to read up on ancient history?
( E-E) You people are just trying to chase me off again aren't you.
( E-EjBut didn't we have Clonepa back then?
|ƒÖE) Psst, I'm still here.
( LƒÖ`) Grandpa, what was life like before rabbit boy ?
( E-E) Besides, Junior, you should treat me better. I'm your grandpa, after all.
( LƒÖ`) Looks like somebody's losing their temper!
( E-E) Don't take the internet so seriously, kid!
(EÍE) It's not good for you!
( LƒÖ`) Gesundheit. That's a nasty cold you seem to have there.
((/ ƒf.ㄟ) They sure are ...
((/ ƒeƒŽㄟ) They make me HAPPY! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
( E-E) They certainly did a number on your face.
(^_^) I love you guys!
( E-E)‚Âo Here's a pill to cure your faggotry.
(^_^) I'm not homosexual. I love you! I never said I fancied you. You look good, I guess. But I love you as a friend or family, not a lover.
(^_^) I'm just so filled with love! I feel serene and at peace with myself, and a great love for most living beings!
(EÍE) Wow ...
(EÍE) I'll have what he's having!
( E-E)‚Âo That will be ’499
(E‚`E) You mean ’4.99, right?
( EƒÖE) Grandpa, help me ! I'm aging at an abnormal speed !!
( LƒÖ`) Oh, shut up, Clonepa.
( EƒÖE) Can't you guys just sweep him under the rug or something?
( EƒÖE) Oh god what's happening to me
( LƒÖ`) blaflahrgmghmhamh
( xƒÖx) -kaff-
(EÍE) Grandpa I'm getting worried.
( E-E) You'll have to put new genetic material in, the old stuff is getting exhausted.
( LƒÖ`) That's a good idea.
( LƒÖ`) Junior? Bring me Beady Eyes' head in a bucket, will you?
(EÍE) Woohoo! I'll get the chainsaw!!!
( E-E) ....
|œc gottagolefttheovenonbye!
( xƒÖx) ...
( EƒÖE) Did it work?
( LƒÖ`) Oh god, the central server reactivated all of them. If they find their way back to the surface, we're all doomed.
( LƒÖ`)
(LƒÖ` ) Well'p, nothin' a few beers can't fix.
ƒ°(EƒÖE ) Woah! This might be trouble.
|ƒÖE) Is this the surface?
(EƒÖE )
(EƒÖE ) I'm not sure whether I should be frightened or ecstatic.
( LÍ`) Gramdpa, my eyes! YOU STOLE THEM HOW DARE YOU!
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
|ƒÖE) You can have ours if you like.
@@@@ |PP|@@
@@@Q|QQ|Q@
@@ @ ( ಠmƣ) I say, what are all these inferior copies doing here?
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
|ƒÖE) Fresh Genetic Material! Get him!
(EƒÖE ) ...
( EƒÖE ) After seeing these guys, I'm starting to understand why everybody calls me a crapass.
( EƒÖE ) Every single one of us forgot to wipe this morning.
@@@@^ÜR@@ ^ÜR@@^ÜR@^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR@@^ÜR
@@@ i@OƒÖOj@i@OƒÖOj i@OƒÖOji@OƒÖOj i@OƒÖOj i@OƒÖOj i@OƒÖOj@i@OƒÖOj
@@@ ˜¦@@/@@ ˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/@@ ˜¦@@/
@@@iQ ƒm@@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@@iQ ƒm
@@@@@@^ÜR@@ ^ÜR@ ^ÜR@ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR
@@@@@ i@EƒÖEj@i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEji@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj
@@@@ @˜¦@@/@@ ˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/
@ @@ @ iQ ƒm@@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm
@@@@^ÜR@@ ^ÜR@@^ÜR@^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR@@^ÜR
@@@ i@EƒÖEj@i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEji@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj@i@EƒÖEj
@@@ ˜¦@@/@@ ˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/@@ ˜¦@@/
@@@iQ ƒm@@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@@iQ ƒm
@@@@@@^ÜR@@ ^ÜR@ ^ÜR@ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR @ ^ÜR
@@@@@ i@EƒÖEj@i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEji@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj i@EƒÖEj
@@@@ @˜¦@@/@@ ˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/ @˜¦@@/
@ @@ @ iQ ƒm@@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm@@iQ ƒm
@@@@Wipe UsIô@Wipe UsIô@Save us from the Crapass fateIô
( LƒÖ`) Oh, great. Now my basement lab is full of half-grown Clonepa slugs.
( `ƒÖL) And what peabrain let Buun pollute the DNA samples??
(EÍE) Hey Grandpa, what do you think of my science fair project?
( LƒÖ`) Sucks. I'm telling your parents to pull you out of school.
( LƒÖ`) I'll have 'em put you in the army too. That's the only REAL education out there.
(EÍE) Can I just join the Clonepa army and stay home and play video games all day?
( LƒÖ`) zomg j/k lol
( LƒÖ`) Err, excuse me, had something in my throat.
(EÍE) Yeah... sure.
(EÍE) So can I just clone Joinpa and play home and stay video day all games?
( LƒÖ`) Junior, in my games we did not have home dayspa.
(◕ ◡ ◕) I like video games and spas.
(◕ ◡ ◕) I also like the scent of your spicy brain.
(◕ ◡ ◕) Harvesting organs from carcasses is yummy!
( LƒÖ`) Go back to your fat-ass brother. He has more bulk...
(LƒÖ` ) ...of fat that is.
(EÍE) RAW
(EÍE) IS
(EÍE) JUNIOR!!!
(◕ ◡ ◕) You look delicious. I think you would taste good with some oregano and thyme.
(EAE) Grandpa, is Mr. McMahon really dead?
( LƒÖ`) I haven't heard back from my agents about Mr. McMahon's true fate yet.
(◕ ◡ ◕) Oh, my gimmick is being a cannibal, for those who hadn't picked up on it yet.
(◕ ◡ ◕) Will the madcap hilarity never cease?
( LƒÖ`) Goddam. How many gimmick characters are in my threads now?
(◕ ◡ ◕) And there's another thirty backstage.
(◕ ◡ ◕) Uh, I mean 29.
(◕ ◡ ◕) 28, that is ... no, 27 ... stage whisper: Damn, what's killing them off back there?
i@MƒnLjI wouldn't know. It sure is a tragedy though. Yup.
(EÍE) OH I GET IT HA HA HA HA HA HE'S EATING THEM HA HA HA
(EÍE) I miss the early Grandpa threads.
i*EƒÖÒjNow where did I leave that nuclear missile launcher? Iraq, maybe. I'll take care of this in a few minutes.
(EÍE) Dear Grand Father. I've a question arriving as bogging to my maturing mind as of late. Yes, it is indeed regading that woman.
Granpa, if I may so call you since I have of no other kinsmen to entrust a question so bold - being the fragile creature I am - are you in truth actually an uncouth- I mean, untouched one. In essence, simply put, a virgin?
Sincerely yours, Junior.
1993-09-5035
( LƒÖ`) Dear young Junior, as a response to your eloquent question you have recently asked me, regarding my virginity...I'll provide an answer which may not directly addess the question, but it will hopefully satisfy your curiosity nonetheless.
Frankly, you and your father were an accident.
Get me a goddamn beer, Grandpa.
1993-09-5036
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) In fact, Mom said she should have swallowed you.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Sweet dreams!
i*EƒÖÒj I found my nuker in the depths of a secret prison slash concentration camp in Slovakia. Now where's that maneater?
(◕ ◡ ◕) I'm right here, sweetmeat. Come to daddy!
( LƒÖ`) There will now be a short intermission while the poster playing Mercpa in this little drama furiously hunts for the right bazooka-firing AA to post.
(EÍE) I'm gonna go get some popcorn!
( E-E) I have this book on ancient history to read.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Who's up for Burger King?
(EÍE).... Don't you ever shave your eyebrows, old man?
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) I had the upper pair plucked out after high school.
( LƒÖ`) You should have seen them. They went all the way to his ears!
@@@@@@@@@ ‚’y LEÍEMR‚Á
@@@@@@@@@ `! @@@@@ i
@@@@@@@@@@T cQc_,.ƒm @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@i @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@ j @@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@.È È.(@@@@@@@@@
@ @@@@@@@( LƒÖ`¿@@@@After these messages,
@@@@@@ @@o@@@,É@@@@We'll be Riiiiiiiiiiight back!
@@@@@@@@‚nQ@.É
@@@@@@@@@@.(ƒm
@@@@@@@@@„ª„ª
( Ü-Ü) I'm back from my meeting with the National Alliance to Advance the Acceptance of Fat People, and I must say, I am appalled with how the WeightPlus people are treated here.
( Ü-Ü) We're BIG, We're BEAUTIFUL, and we're IN YOUR FACE.
(EÍE) You're so big you're in everybody's face.
(◕ ◡ ◕) ...
( ◕ [ ◕) ...Delicious junk food...must...resist...
(◕ [ ◕ ) ...
(@ ◕ o ◕( Ü-Ü) GET INTO MAH BELLY!
¶Þ¯@@@ È__È@ ¿ I hated that stupid movie.
@@@@@i Ü-Ü)œc™
@@@@@@ ¼œc™))o ◕) <ow ow sorry ow sorry ow ow
@@@@@@@@`````›````````
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ß
@/@||PP|| ÈQÈ@
@| @||QQ|)(LƒÖ`@ ) < This thread just gets more and more stupid
@|PP_ŽO¼/PPP/ as time goes on.
@|@@@@|@( ./@@@@ /
( EƒÖE ) You aren't needed here, Mercpa.
i*EƒÖÒj Saying that to a guy firing a nuclear missile gattling gun... I like your guts, kid.
( EƒÖE) Wait, Mercpa, I've thought of a use for you after all...
( EƒÖE) Can you please wipe my ass?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
|ƒÖE) What about me? What about Clonepa?
( LƒÖ`) In my time if any one was trying to force a meme, they'd hang him.
( LƒÖ`) ah I miss those days
( LƒÖ`) almost got killed once for it.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are imageboards forced memes?
( LƒÖ`) Yes. In my day, we had ASCII porn and we liked it. That was my first exposure to Sailor Moon, you know. Ami-chan~
(EÍE) Why does Clonepa creep me out, grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) You have his eyes, Junior.
( LƒÖ`) ...don't read too much into it.
(EÍE) (EÍE), (EÍE) (EÍE) (EÍE) (EÍE) (EÍE) (EÍE) ?
( EƒÖE) Yeah, I wanna speak now, guys.
( ß ƒŽß) The Tone of my Voice!!!
( *EƒÖÒ) Hey (◕ ◡ ◕), why are you trolling 4chan? Stop breathing, you're polluting the environment.
(EÍE) ... the gom jabbar test.............
etou....
( *EƒÖÒ) Our fathers ate manna in the desert,
In the burning place where whirlwinds came,
Lord, save us from that horrible land!
Save us, Oh-h-h-h save us
From that dry and thirsty land!
(◕ƒÖ◕) Oh-h-h-h save us!
(EÍE) save u- wait, what were we talking about again?
( LƒÖ`) I don't remember. It's been too long ...
(EÍE) Grandpa, what ex-professional wrestler is going to run for office this time? Macho Man for president?
( LƒÖ`) Hulk Hogan has my vote, whether he runs or not.
( EƒÖE) Jesse Ventura
( LƒÖ`) ...
( ˣƒÖˣ) ...
( EƒÖE) No eating until you've wiped my ass, Grandpa. You promised!
( LƒÖ`) And lose the last defining quality of your character in the process? Sure, go ahead.
( EƒÖE) I'm so conflicted. Torn even. This is torture of the highest degree.
(EÍE) I'm somehow confused about Clonepa's sudden liking for shit...
(EÍE) I thought his beady eyes and annoying personality were his defining qualities.
( EƒÖE) My biggest defining quality is my lack of any real defining qualities.
( LƒÖ`) You remind me of me when I was no age.
( LƒÖ`) ...now get the fuck out. You too, beady eyes.
( E-E) Oh you.
(EÍE) Grandpa, why are you talking to your beady eyes sock puppet like it's a real person?
( LƒÖ`) ( E-E) Because I'm a big dumb poopoo head and I smell. Also I suck.
( EƒÖE) You're pathetic, grandpa. Look who's crap-ass now...
( LƒÖ`)(EÍE) "I dunno lol"
<˜¤MÍL> Oooh! Do me next!
( LƒÖ`)<˜¤MÍL>"I DEMAND APOROGY JUICE-NIDA"
( ☼ƒŽಠ) I demand Milk-Plus Synthemesc for me and my three droogs, my dobby chelloveck!
( EƒÖE) ( EƒÖE) "Haha! Look who's crap-ass now!"
i⊺⁰„DßjAs a staunch grammarian, I find this thread eminently distateful and morally repugnant.
( LƒÖ`) I'm way ahead of my time.
( E-E) That isn't saying much when your time was several hundred years ago.
(EÍE) 2GETing for later use!
i⊺⁰„Dßj Time...
i⊺⁰„Dßj Time is the fire... in which... we burn.
(EÍE) Grandpa, tell me a story!
( LƒÖ`) Alright, you toddling sapling, but off to bed after that.
( LƒÖ`) Once upon a time long, long ago there lived a handsome, stunning, powerful, rich, intellegent, clever king named Gilgamesh.
( LƒÖ`) Gilgamesh loeved golds. His subjects knew his loev for golds so they brought him lots and lots of golds for presents. The people were happy because Gilgamesh got his golds. His treasury sparkled and glittered like the sun itself with only the flicker of a candle flame.
( LƒÖ`) Even though there is never enough golds, to repay his people he invented a new fun sport. This sport would eventually be named polo. But he played it in a more different and awesome way. Instead of horses people would ride piggy-back. And instead of mallets the players would hit the ball with sticks for a higher, more extreme oldskool challenge rating. He would even occasionally help out newlyweds on their wedding night until his good buddy Enkidu let on that was a faux pas.
( LƒÖ`) And that's how people-polo was invented. Now go to sleep.
(EÍE) I thought Gilgamesh fought the monster Humbaba with his friend Enkidu with some help from Shamash.
( LƒÖ`) Your parents lied to you.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Stop lying to my kid, dad...
(EÍE) Grandpa told another one of his stories again?
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) He once told me about the birds and the bees...
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) He got it wrong and out came you.
( LƒÖ`) www
( LƒÖ`) One could, could they? Well aren't you clever.
( LƒÖ`) Maybe you'll tell me aboutæˆæTˆæˆæˆaæˆæˆnæˆæˆæˆæˆsæˆæˆæˆæˆæˆnæˆ
(*¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) I would prefer not to.
( LƒÖ`) No, but I am as old as his act.
(EÍE) Grandpa, how many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
( LƒÖ`) If he's already a man before he walks them, I would say none.
(⊺œ„D๏) Hello. I am "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads". I do believe this is a character thread, so I would like to bump it. That is why my name is "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads".
(⊺œ„D๏) Hello. I am "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads". I do believe this is a character thread, so I would like to bump it. That is why my name is "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads".
( LƒÖ`) (⊺œ„D๏) Hello. I am "Mr. Likes Double-Posting in Threads on the Front Page". My double-post duty is now complete. Thank you.
(EÍE) Damn, Grandpa. Where'd you learn to make sock puppets so fast?
( LƒÖ`) Wikipedia, of course.
(EÍE) Grandpa, why do you have so many unused threads?
( LƒÖ`) I like new clothes, Junior.
@¿_¿
@( E-E)@If you didn't shit up your threads so often, you wouldn't need so many.
c(,_‚•‚•É
( LƒÖ`) ( E-E) "I need to make like a tree and painfully rot for hundreds of years before finally exhaling my final breath."
( LƒÖ`) So.. Junior. When was the last time you actually asked a question?
(EÍE) Post 644, Grandpa.
(EÍE) Say, Grandpa, do you like Marimite?
( LƒÖ`) Oh I love Marmite. It's an aquired taste alright, but it's delicious on black and blue kangaroo.
(EÍE) ...I was talking about the anime, Grandpa. And aren't kangaroos endangered?
( LƒÖ`) Anime is garbage, boy. You should be watching Animal Planet.
( LƒÖ`) Those meerkats crack me up.
(EÍE) Anime is just too high-minded for you, stupid baka.
( -ƒÖ-). . .
( LƒÖ`) desu desu desu desu desu
(EÍE) You're not having a stroke, are you Grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU
( oƒÖ‹) DSFARGEG DSFARGEG DSFARGEG DSFARGEG DSFARGEG DSFARGEG
( ◦Í◦) Oh no! I'll call for an ambulance...!
(◦Í◦ ) ...right after I check my inheritance in his will!
( LƒÖ`) Sorry, sometimes that ol' plate in my head picks up radio waves.
(LƒÖ` ) ... Inheritance?
Ð*ß°ß) Did someone say inheritance?
( LƒÖ`) I'm curious about that myself.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) The only thing anyone's going to inherit from him is his bar tab.
@@@@@@@THIS SUMMER...
( LƒÖ`)=================
GRANDPA WILL...
=================(EÍE)
@@KILL JUNIOR.
(EÍE) Bring it on, old man!
( E-E) Directed by Quentin Tarantino, and featuring Samuel L. Jackson!
(EÍE) Staring Giko as Junior!
@@@@@@@THIS SUMMER...
( LƒÖ`)=================
GRANDPA WILL...
=================(EÍE)
@@*__GET HEATSTROKE.__*
@@@@@@@THIS SUMMER...
( LƒÖ`)=================
GRANDPA WILL BE...
=================(EÍE)
@@Tˆæˆæaˆæˆænˆæsˆæˆæn
( LƒÖ`)( oƒÖ‹) "oh i forgot to take my medicine oh ho ho this is so funny it's absolutely hilarious come on guys laugh hahahaha come on guys"
( E-E) Dude that's killer!
( xƒÖx)
( LƒÖ`) What was my name again?
(EÍE) Junior, stop playing around and do your chores.
/~\_.-~-._,--.._
| ~-.._
| . . \
| / DITTO used TRANSFORM!
| --...., | \
/ \
| |
| \
/ |
\_.-._ __...___.._______/
~~
( LƒÖ`) Hello, kids.
( LƒÖ`) Fucking Ditto! Get out!
( LƒÖ.) Ditto, dittoAIIIIRRRRRRRRRR
¼“ñ“ñ“ñi ಠ_ಠj“ñ“ñ“ñ½ GOOD GRANDPA, YOU LOOK KIND OF COOL
( LƒÖ`) You again? I thought we left you for dead on the last thread...
¼“ñ“ñ“ñi ?_?j“ñ“ñ“ñ½ Fuck you, get off of my cloud.
( LƒÖ`) ! Oh dear. My apolojuice.
¼“ñ“ñ“ñi MƒnLj“ñ“ñ“ñ½ Grandpa, you fool, it was me all along! Ahahaha. Your thread structure has been destroyed beyond all hope of repair! What do you say to that?
( LƒÖ`) ...we had structure? Why didn't anyone tell me about this?
(EÍE) He said structure, Grandpa. Not hips, long-term memory, and regular bowel movements.
LOADING ESTEEM BUILDER MODULE...
|EQE| "Hahaha- You are so funny, Junior!"
(EÍE) Grandpa, tell me a story about when I was a baby.
( LƒÖ`) This one time, when you were a baby, you shit your diaper and then ate some of it.
( LƒÖ`) Then your dad beat you.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Those were good times.
(EÍE) No they weren't!
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Dad, why didn't you tell me child rearing was this difficult...
( LƒÖ`) I enjoy watching you suffer.
( LƒÖ`) Also, I'm not really your dad.
(EÍE) And I'm not really your son either.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Really? Thank GOD!
(¥ิ_¥ิ)‚Á-̾ Submitted for your approval: the strange case of an ageless man, known only as 'Grandpa'. A crotchety old coot with disdain for everything man holds sacred and a taste for misanthropy. Today, we have witnessed his final descent into the realm of madness. Madness that could have only be quenched with questions. Questions from within his own mind, questions from a daemon of his own making: Jisaku Jien. But such things are never out of the ordinary in a place where the leaves fall eternally and wisdom is pursued only by fools. A place known only as... the DQN Zone. ô♫ô
(EÍE) Junior, have you been masturbating again?
( LƒÖ`) Who are you talking to, kid?
(EÍE) Junior Jr.
(@EÍEj ... Wait, what am I doing here?
( E-E) Caught in an endless, spiralling loop, there is no hope of respite, no hope of escape for this old man.
(¥ิ_¥ิ)‚Á-̾ I'll do the narration around here, young rabbit.
(EÍE) Now I've lost it.
(EÍE) I know I can kill.
( E-E) You couldn't kill a fly even if you didn't shriek and hide under your bed every time you see one.
( LƒÖ`) Grandpa, I love you!
( LƒÖ`) I love you too, now go back to bed.
(EÍE) Why are you talking to yourself, grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) I'm just reading ahead in the script, trying to find the part where we get back on topic here.
(EÍE) Granpa, who killed 4-ch?
( LƒÖ`) Some anonymous twit, Junior.
@@@@╭\™¯
@@@@i(Ⅻ)j
@@@@( ß„DL)¿@@IT WAS I
@@ ¼|F˜§F| /
@@@ ƒm⁁ ‚Ö
@@@( ƒN@_ƒN
(EÍE) What goes on in the mind of an old man, grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) ...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
( LƒÖ`) ... what?
( LƒÖ(EÍE)
( LƒÖ(EÍE) Grandpa, why are you sneaking up on me?
Hush. It'll only take 5 minutes...
( LƒÖ(EÍE) Uh... dad... help?
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Who's your dad, NOW? Not I, not I.
@@@@╭\™¯
@@@@i(Ⅻ)j
@@@@( ß„DL)¿@@I AM YOUR FATHER
@@ ¼|F˜§F| /
@@@ ƒm⁁ ‚Ö
@@@( ƒN@_ƒN
( LƒÖ`) ... maybe the next thread should just be Junior & I doing the question/answer thing. There's way too many characters to keep track of now.
( E-E) To be honest, I don't think anybody could be trusted to enforce it.
(EÍE) Grandpa, where do emergency mittens come from? There are so many of them... do they grow on trees or something?
( LƒÖ`) Emergency Mittens are knitted by the thousands in dirty offshore factories by indentured blind Chinese orphan girls, and then shipped in bulk to trouble spots all over the world, Junior.
( ß -ß) ... really? That's sad.
( ß ƒŽß) MITTENS!!!!!
(ß- ß ) Excuse me, I need to go see my therapist now.
( LƒÖ`) Heh heh...
( ß ƒŽß) Lick me down there, Junior!
(EÍE) Grandpa said you don't take a bath so... No.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) I wish girls would say that to me...
( ß ƒŽß) Lick me down there, Not-Junior's-Dad!
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) No. You're not a girl.
( ß -ß) what?
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) You're a disembodied floating head. There's nothing down there to lick.
( ß -ß) So are you...
( LƒÖ`) Wh...wha!? I'm a floating head?!
( LƒÖ`) . . Dagnabbit, you're right! JUNIOR! Why didn't you say something sooner?!
( ½ƒÖ¼) OH GOD IM GONNA DIE
(EÍE) I'm used to being a floating head. I figured it was the natural state of things.
( `)(L) Consider yourselves lucky.
) Yeah. I'm just a floating parentheses, and it sucks.
) People call me Cheekpa.
(@¥ƒÖ¥) Sounds like a pretty half-assed character design.
(EÍE) Grandpa, whose head did that talking chunk come from?
(@¥ƒÖ¥) I dunno, Raymond.
➝ The name's "Rayman", pilgrim, and don't ye be forgetten it.,
(@¥ƒÖ¥) All right, Raymond, I'll make a note of it.
? I FUCKING TOLD YOU IT'S "RAYMAN" I WILL KILL YOU FAGGOT AAAAGHHH
( LƒÖ`) Quit answering my questions for me, crapass...
( LƒÖ`) So what was your question again, Raymond?
? RAYMAN YOU DUMBASS RAYMAN
➝ Who in the hell's this questerin mark imposter?
? I AM RAYMAN MACFAIL
( LƒÖ`) Sonny, you need to GTFO my thread.
(@¥ƒÖ¥) Can I stay?
( LƒÖ`) No.
(@¥ƒÖ¥) I don't have anywhere else to go. My thread smells. Let me stay!
( LƒÖ`) Get back in the vat, Clonepa.
(@¥ƒÖ¥) I can pay rent!
@ @ @ @ @›@@@@@@@@›
@ @ @@@ @ _^PP_^
@ @@@@ @@^ ÈQÈ@_@< I hate the clone vat.
@@@@@ @ @|@(@¥ƒÖ¥)@ @|
@ @@@ @@@|@/ ½.@½@..|
@@@@.@@^PPPPPP_
@ @@@ ^@@@@@@@@@@@ _
@@@@@PPPPPPPPPP@
(EÍE) When did Clonepa get a UFO?
( E-E) He requisitioned one earlier from the prop department.
( LƒÖ`) in my day we didn't have no Clonepa-thingamagiggys, new fangled UFOs, ACII art, or non of this junk-a-munk thats ruining young peoples' minds today.
Yougins use to know how to respect their grandpas! Hrmmph
(EÍE) Need I remind you that your day was over a long time before Al Gore came along with his Internet?
( LƒÖ`) We didn't need any new-fangled internets in my day. If we wanted to retrieve some data, we'd dang-shure walk uphill, both ways with no shoes on, and get the punch-card ourselves.
( LƒÖ`) And when I say punch-cards I mean punch-cards boy! We had to take these little papers and use our own callosed overworked union hands to punch the right pattern! And each msitake gotcha 20 lashings from the foreman.
( E-E) "Msitake"? Looks like you're in for twenty lashings, old man.
( LƒÖ`) Forty, I missed "calloused" too.
( LƒÖ`) Good thing those days are over, isn't it?
( EÍE) Corporeal punishment went out of fashion long ago.
( EÍE) This means you can't physical touch me as a means of discipline, right Grandpa?
(EÍE) Who are you?
( EÍE) Copior.
(EÍE) Can I call you Xerox?
(EÍE ) Why am I talking to myself?
( EÍE) i dunno lol
( LƒÖ`) I can still use psychological means to discipline you.
( EÍE) I'll become a Scientologist, and not believe in psychology. What now, Grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) I'll forcefeed you Ritalin until you shut up about the history of psychiatry.
( EÍE) Hooray, smartpills! Does it taste like candy?
( LƒÖ`) Does what taste like what?
( EÍE) Candy. Do you know what that is Grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) Yes, it's an old French animation series.
(EÍE) French people smell funny.
( LƒÖ`) You smell funnier. Go take a bath.
(-.-) Fuck this shit I'm releasing the mittens.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was life like before repetitive Grandpa threads?
( LƒÖ`) Fapping to Pin-up Japanese Girls.
( E-E) So anyway, I tried joining the ROKAF, but they wouldn't let me cause i wasn't K.
( LƒÖ`) You should talk to General Woundwort. He can hook you up.
(EÍE) Grandpa, how long do you think we can keep up the question/answer format this time?
( LƒÖ`) Frosted Butts.
(EÍE) Um... Toasty Boobs!
( LƒÖ`) Excellent! Now....
( LƒÖ`) Mittens au jus.
(EÍE) Hmmm... Beady Eyes Burrito?
( LƒÖ`) No. Try again.
(EÍE)
(EÍE) Clonepa jubilee?
( LƒÖ`) ... I'll give you partial credit for that.
@@@-]]- A
^@@@@@R
!@ !@l|,.iÉl_Éj@@
i @˜§-]@|! i @One Clonepa Jubilee, come 'n' get it!
_R .U@- Ƀm @
@@MMƒt@iL@ @@@@@@l
@ @ / _ÉT@ @@ @@ll
@@/__i |˜£!|@ @ @ @ ( EƒÖE) it burns it burns!
„ª„ª‚„ª‚„ª„ª‡‡‡========
==@@ THE REI'S DINER@@ @==
‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡@
@˜¸˜¸
( EƒÖE) Grandpa, when will the hurting stop?
( LƒÖ`) Soon enough.
@˜¸˜¸
( EƒÖE)
@@ƒÌ
( xƒÖx)
(LƒÖM⌡) JUST
@@@@ AS
@@@@ PLAN-
@@@@ NED.
(EÍE) Grandpa, is it wrong to murder on a Friday night?
( LƒÖ`) Why do you want to know?
(EÍE) Mittens told me that meat is murder, and I was looking forward to a bacon double cheeseburger this Friday.
( LƒÖ`) Eating meat, like abortion, is in fact murder. But it's murder in self defense, so you're in the clear, kiddo.
(EÍE) So what do you call eating an aborted fetus?
(EÍE) I'm only asking out of, um, curiosity. No sinister undertones, no sir.
( LƒÖ`)
(EÍE) Come on, grandpa. I didn't eat any fetuses. Don't look at me like that.
( LƒÖ`)
(( LƒÖ
))"
“ñ“ñ((( LƒÖ))"
( E-E) He did, I saw him.
“ñ“ñ “ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ “ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ “ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ“ñ((( LƒÖ))"
( LƒÖ`) Sorry 'bout that. Gas. I had some good old Oklahoma BBQ a little bit ago. Whatever Junior broke, I'll pay for it, just shut up.
( LƒÖ`) So what did you say, junior? It was something about fetuses but I paid attention.
( E-E) He was talking about how he'd eaten a fetus, but I'm more interested in that Oklahoma BBQ.
( LƒÖ`)
( LƒÖ`) Junior, why I am so old?
(EÍE) The real Grandpa would never use 4chan speak! IMPOSTER!
( LƒÖ`) ...
( LƒÖ`) harbl, NO U, GTFO newfag, gg.
>>809
( LƒÖ`) FORTRAN speak? Junior, you know I don't up keep with your programming languages newfangled. Just want I to know why I am so old?
(EÍE) Go back to bed, Garfield.
( LƒÖ`) Junior, why mean you be so to me? You feel I not badding enough? Want just I to know old why so am I?
( LƒÖì)
(!ƒÖ!) „P„€„y„ƒ„{ „r „I„~„„„u„‚„~„u„„„u! „P„€„y„ƒ„{ „r „I„~„„„u„‚„~„u„„„u!
(((O____O))) „Q„p„ƒ„Š„y„‚„u„~„~„„z „„€„y„ƒ„{!
Da, Tovarisch!
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( LƒÖ`) Rest now my child...
i@MƒnLj You're suddenly out of character, grandpa.
( LƒÖ`) Shut up. I'm younger than you.
( LƒÖ`) and then I ate the fetus
(EÍE) Remember how 20 minutes ago we were still doing the question and answer thing?
( LƒÖ`) No, I can't remember anything.
( LƒÖ`) What's my name?
( E-E) ur mom.
( LƒÖ`) Can't believe you fell for that one again.
( LƒÖ`) fffffaaaaarrrrrrttttt
(E-E)
| È
|L¥ƒÖ¥) What, you want one too?
|.@V@ʂˆ
|___:|__|
|__)Q)
((/ ƒf.ㄟ) Looks deep and meaningful. I'll take one.
(@E-E) No doctor, I was just surprised at your skill, to be able to divine the solution so quickly.
( LƒÖ`) so what happened to the fetus
(EÍE) It's in the fish tank.
( LƒÖ`) I like your style, kid.
(EÍE) What style, grandpa?
| È
|L¥ƒÖ¥) Please don't vomit fetuses in my fishtank.
|.@V@ʂˆ
|___:|__|
|__)Q)
( LƒÖ`) I wo
( LƒÖo) OHGDO IM HAVEVN A HERT ATTACK!!! UGGHSHTAETHATEATEA
(EƒÖE) Quick! Put him in the tank!
(EÍE) Whoever thought his end would be so undignified?
(EÍE) Also, what's in his will?
(EƒÖE) I dunno.
( LƒÖ`) I'm still alive and well, crapass.
( LƒÖ`) ...
( LƒÖ`) I'm still alive and well, crapass.
ƒIƒ^ƒN
( LƒÖ`) Now who let you in here? You don't even look like anything.
( LƒÖ`) it's spelled ƒ’ƒ^ƒN by the way.
(EÍE) Put him in the fish tank!
( LƒÖ`) It's already filled with fetuses and shit Junior, there is no space left!
(EÍE) Grandpa, what's for dinner? Not pork again, right?
( LƒÖ`) No it's fetus, Junior.
(EÍE) Fetuses make me stronger . . .
@@@-]]- A
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!@ !@l|,.iÉl_Éj
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( LƒÖ`) This thread's been around for a long time, yesirree.
(EÍE) How long have you been around for, Grandapa?
(EÍE) I pooped meh pants!
( LƒÖ`) I thought I told you to stop making spontaneous announcements about poop, Junior!
(EÍE) I'm going to set up a poop announcement RSS feed!
( LƒÖ`) Why don't you join Something Awful? I hear they enjoy pantshitters.
(EÍE) I don't have :tenbux:
(EÍE) How long have you been around for, Grandapa?
( LƒÖ`) Long enough to gain a third syllable, apparently.
(EÍE) You should get that looked at. It's probably cancerous.
( LƒÖ`) Someone should make a best of grandpa thread
(EÍE) There's already an "ITT we post nothing at all" thread
@@@@@ ¿@
( LƒÖ`)œc™
@¼œc™))ÍE) ow sorry ow ow ow sorry ow
@@™
(EÍE) Why I am so bald?
c-c-c-combo breaker
(EÍE) Grandpa, where are all these stupid 4channers coming from?
( LƒÖ`) You left the gate unlocked again, didn't you?
( E-E) Yeah, I walked right in.
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@GoodtoseeyaBYE!! @
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@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ | ```````````
( E-E) I come and go as I please, Old Man. Just like you and everybody else in this place.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what is choc-o-lit?
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ßÈ__È@
„Ÿ„Ÿ =ßi LƒÖ`j@ ß@thatsawesomeyou'reawesomeBYE!! @
„Ÿ@=ß›_@@ ¼)=@ _ ˜¸^-=ß ‚’i E-Ej
„Ÿ„Ÿ@=ß >@@ Q_@ƒm )j< @ „ @-=@rŽM@ ‚Â
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( LƒÖ`) That would be rat poison, Junior.
(EAE) Rat poison rain sounds dangerous.
(EAE) Grandpa I'm stuck.
@@ i@LƒÖ`j@@@|@|@¶Þ¯
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(EAE) Grandpa you suck.
( LƒÖ`) No you.
(EÍE) ha ha ha ha! Good comeback, Potsie!
(EÍE) Grandpa, why doesn't Squeeks get diseases from wearing all that shit on his head?
( LƒÖ`) He wears hippo dung, which is the healthiest dung on Earth. Tastiest too! You should try some.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are you German by any chance?
( LƒÖ`) Stellen Sie nicht dumme Fragen.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are you Hebrew by any chance?
( LƒÖ`) No. Ask a question that's less stupid.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are you gay by any chance?
( LƒÖ`) No. That's even stupider.
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i@@@É.@,@œetU/@@@@| @i@E-Ej You fags aren't getting 1000
@@.'/|@.'.j@UtU/@@@@ _/VVVVV) again on my watch.
@^/.'; @@:@œe¼@@@@_@PPP^@@@
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(EÍE) Grandpa, who the hell is that?
i E-EjDon't look at me, I don't know.
( LƒÖ`) He's a bad, bad man, you'd best stay away kiddo.
( E-E) Yeah, he even stole my face.
j@¿@@@@,.@@@@.'@@^OOÜO‚Ö
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i@@@É.@,@œetU/@@@@| @i@E-Ej Forgotten me already? I'm #67.
@@.'/|@.'.j@UtU/@@@@ _/VVVVV) Remember how I always used to steal your lunch money?
@^/.'; @@:@œe¼@@@@_@PPP^@@@
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( E-E) No...
( LƒÖ`) ... okay, it's alcohol time.
|ƒÖ` ) Bye!
|œc
(EÍE) Can I have some alcohol, Grandpa?
(EÍE) Grandpa? Graaaaand paaaaaaaaa?
|ƒÖ` ) Get your own giggle water, son.
œc
(EÍE) Fuck.
(EÍE) Hold on a second... you're my dad?
|ƒÖ` ) BTW, 900GET!
|œc pkunk
(EÍE)Grandpa where do babies come from?
( LƒÖ`) The fiery pits of Hell.
(EÍE) So where do fetuses come from, then?
( LƒÖ`) The devil delivers them to women who've sinned in the eyes of God. Duhhh...
(EÍE) But you told me there is no God! There is only Grandpa!
( LƒÖ`) Yeah, but I'm letting him run things since I'm too lazy to do it myself.
(EÍE) But how can he run things if he doesn't exist?
( LƒÖ`) I'll google it and get back to you on that.
( LƒÖ`) zzzzz
(EÍE)Wake up Grandpa!
( LƒÖ`) Durrr hurrr hurrr I like cocks.
(EÍE) Grandpa, if we are living in a material world and Madonna is a material girl, did that make Sean Penn a material boy?
( LƒÖ`) That's immaterial.
(EÍE)Grandpa why don't I have a penis?
( LƒÖ`) Because you're a girl Junior.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) You never noticed this before, kid?
( E-E) . . .
(EÍE) Oh, really? Well..I'll just be going into my room...
|ÍE) and I'll never come back out again <3~
|œc Bye!
(-__-) Really, it's not so bad... You should try it too Grandpa....
wait, what am I doing out here?
( LƒÖ`) What the hell are you replying to?
( E-E) Can I touch your boobs, Junior?
( E-E) Also, could you explain to all of us how you hope to maintain a romantic relationship with Mittens?
(EÍE) What?
( E-E) So anyway, what are you going to do for the next 75 posts?
(EÍE) I don't have a romantic relationship with anyone, Beady.
(EÍE) Grandpa, do you know any miners?
( LƒÖ`) I know you, Junior. You're a minor.
( LƒÖ`) ...
i MƒnLj Is that "know" in the biblical sense?
( ß ƒŽß)
( ß -ß) ....
(ß- ß )
( LƒÖ`) Mittens?
( ß -ß) I thought this was the Grandpa thread. My mistake.
(ß- ß ) Bye.
( LƒÖ`) Just as planned.
(EÍE) You say that every time something strange happens, Grandpa.
( E-E) He just can't admit something went wrong.
( EÍE) Can't admit mistakes... Grandpa, are you a Republican?
( LƒÖ`) Hell no. Hey junior can I touch you inappropriately?
( LƒÖ`) Jesus told me to, so I'm sure it won't hurt.
(EÍE) Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do i
A full commitments what Im thinking of
You wouldnt get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
Gotta make you understand
( LƒÖ`) Shut the fuck up.
( LƒÖ`) Masturbating to your own post again, eh?
( E-E) You expected Junior to do any less, in light of the recent discovery?
(EÍE) Grandpa the end of the thread is coming soon! What will we do to celebrate?
( LƒÖ`) Shut the fuck up, is what.
( LƒÖ`) .... And clean your hands before touching my remote.
( LƒÖ`) .... And clean your hands before touching my remote.
(EÍE) I'll touch the fucking remote after I've came on my HANDS TEN FUCKING TIMES you old fart!
(EÍE) By the way, we're about to hit over 9000 Grandpa posts in all. Guess I'll break a scouter or something.
( E-E) Don't worry Gramps, it's not like he's menstruating all over the remote.
( LƒÖ`) You shouldn't say things like that. You might give him... or her... ideas. And then I'd have to deal with it in my own particular way, which I haven't had to use since the war.
(EÍE) 950 GET ! ! !
( E-E) ooooh! bayonets!! And I can get my sword back at my house!
( LƒÖ`) Really. Shut the fuck up.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are you any good at Halo? I need more people in my leet clan on Xbox Live.
( LƒÖ`) ... What? You mean Maze War. Nobody can beat me at Maze War...
( E-E) The only reason no-one can beat you is because nobody else even plays it.
( LƒÖ`) My grandson plays it...
( LƒÖ`) Making him a nobody...
( LƒÖ`) Satisfied? Now GTFO
(EÍE) Grandpa, since when did you start using abbreviations?
( LƒÖ`) IDK.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are you steadily becoming retarded?
( LƒÖ`) The Internet will do that to you, Junior. The faster your connection speed, the faster you lose brain cells.
( LƒÖ`) I have taken it upon my avtglvjjx
( LƒÖ`) Sorry. I need more whisky to counteract the effects of this internet.
(EÍE) Grandpa, what's menopause like?
( LƒÖ`) You'll find out soon enough, Junior. Just make sure you buy one of those little handheld fans before then.
(EÍE) It's almost time for GrandpaGrandpa's Bizarre Adventure -PART10-
What? oh you mean Guilty Grandpa X
(EÍE) What? Who said that?
@ @ l
@@iQ_j I did!
( LƒÖ`) That's it, I'm pulling the plug on the "talking shit" gimmick. It's just not connecting with the people.
(EÍE) I don't think the producer will like your going behind his back, Grandpa.
( LƒÖ`) Junior, in this business, there are rights and there are wrongs. And I'm always right.
(EÍE) I don't think we can be considered a business. We don't make any money.
( LƒÖ`) Doesn't that no-good son of mine give you some kind of allowance?
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) I give him one. What are you on to, dad?
(EÍE) I get one all right, one single dollar deposited into my college fund.
(EÍE) Grandpa, will you send me birthday money on a weekly basis?
( LƒÖ`) Only if you pay back with interest during the weekly Christmas.
(EÍE) Wlil do.
(EÍE) See you whenever September finally ends.
( LƒÖ`) This endless September...
~ Grandpa no naku Koro ni
@@PPPPPPPPP
( E-E) You really need to take your pills, guys.
( LƒÖ`) How about I just take YOU Beady Eyes?
( LƒÖ( EOE)
( E-E) My husband is SO going to kick your ass!
(@¥ิ-¥ิ) Who's gonna kick who in the what now?
( LƒÖ`) Your husband is a weak ass compared to my son. Show him, son...
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) ...
(@¥ิ-¥ิ) Hey bud.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Hey.
(@¥ิ-¥ิ) Wanna go get a beer?
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Sure!
(LƒÖ` ) I'm coming with.
(@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Dad, I'm not 16 anymore. I don't need you following me everywhere.
(EÍE) I didn't know Beady Eyes was gay!!!
( E-E) I'm not a lesbian.
(@¥ิ-¥ิ) You look butch enough to be.
(EÍE) Girls are icky.
(LƒÖ` ) Junior, who told you that?
(EƒÖE) Don't tell him, Junior!
( LƒÖ`) Kool Aid Time in five posts, people.
(EÍE) Hang on, which gender is everybody now?
( E-E) Hurry up and get off the stage, the caterer's here with the food.
( LƒÖ`) I'm way ahead of my time.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are the posts over 9000 yet?
( LƒÖ`) It already was way back. Now run along and play.