Weird girl with hardcore crush (276)

241 Name: AmazingHappyBoy : 2008-06-14 02:51 ID:xJbz4Dj6

nooooooo thuuuunder-chaaaaaaaan
you have lost the fighting spirit!
MY FLAMES OF PASSION HAVE BEEN PUT OUT!
it...is...oover...
dead

ps: good luck in the future

242 Name: Akina : 2008-06-16 01:10 ID:fzQn/4TA

Sadly, I think >>240 is right. If he shared even of a sliver of your feelings for him, he would have at least said something. Optimistically (Also Improbably) he could just not be saying anything out of fear that a beautiful, intelligent girl such as yourself, would reject a /b/-tard like him.

243 Name: Thunder!RQhIqRxs5I!!QiI33I8Q : 2008-06-16 13:03 ID:kAfa7MoL

I think you guys are right.

I'm pretty down but I'm slowly getting over it. I have to accept that I was mistaken about everything, even though I wish I could know what I did wrong...or if I did anything wrong.


Although...suddenly it looks like something may be coming up in my horizon.....

　　　　 ∧∧　　　　　　　　　　 　
　　　　(,,ﾟДﾟ)　　　　　　　　　　 　 ....what is that I see?
　　　　/　　|　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　～（,,＿,,）

(I still have no *feeling* though. I am pretty burned out on love from investing in this boy.)

244 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-16 18:23 ID:Heaven

God, now that was a struggle.

245 Name: Lonely-chan : 2008-06-16 19:15 ID:Bj76plEn

>>243
At the risk of sounding desperate, do you want to talk off-site Thunder-san?

246 Name: Lonely-chan : 2008-06-16 19:21 ID:Bj76plEn

Also, for anyone wondering, the girl I mentioned in >>240 lives thousands of miles away :(

247 Name: Thunder!RQhIqRxs5I!!QiI33I8Q : 2008-06-16 20:37 ID:kAfa7MoL

Yes, I do, Lonely-chan. I can't leave my info, though (too easily identifiable) but if you want to leave yours I will certainly contact you!

248 Name: Lonely-chan : 2008-06-16 22:45 ID:Bj76plEn

>>247
I hope I don't receive too much spam.

ivory.keys@live.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

249 Name: AmazingHappyBoy : 2008-06-16 23:12 ID:xJbz4Dj6

aw yay!
ONE HAPPY PERSON FROM THIS THREAD
not all sadness!

250 Name: soccerfuu9 : 2008-06-18 01:41 ID:90FPE6V3

i wanna talk wit Thunder-chan too!

striker_20002003@yahoo.com

plz write soon!

251 Name: Thunder!RQhIqRxs5I!!QiI33I8Q : 2008-06-18 02:31 ID:Heaven

Added you on Y!IM, soccerfuu.

252 Name: soccerfuu9 : 2008-06-18 23:40 ID:90FPE6V3

mind if you write a quick letter to the address? y!mail is being funny today with IM

253 Name: soccerfuu9 : 2008-06-19 08:49 ID:90FPE6V3

>>251...Thunder-chan...i found out i can use Y!IM online...i should be on now...(write an e-mail if i don't respond)

254 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-02 06:08 ID:kAfa7MoL

Hello, /love/, it's been a really, really long time - now that I look at it, half a year in fact. It's been so long that I've forgotten my tripcode...>_<

　　　 Λ_Λ　　　　　　　　　Λ_Λ
　 　./) ﾟдﾟ)')　　　　　　　('(ﾟдﾟ (ヽ
((　/ 　 　/　))　　　　　　((ヽ　　　 ）　))
　　し―Ｊ　　　　　　 　 　 　 し―Ｊ

I've been lurking these boards a bit, but not as much as I used to, due to the fact that my story was painful for me to read. I had no closure on it. I asked myself, time and time again, "what did I do wrong? what is wrong with me?" I really thought I would find a happy ending, and I know I was naive to believe it.

I don't know if anybody cares anymore, since this thread is so long and so old, but I wanted to have a record of the entire incident, from the beginning to the very end, because there was a development TODAY, so many months later.

One development is that we actually *kissed* a long time ago - not that that means anything now. (I can go into detail if anybody wants to hear it, but it seems so pointless now.)

The next development is long, I'll continue in the next post.

255 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-02 06:50 ID:v4VA1xjM

Would you mind giving a back story quickly as 4/5 of the thread is missing and I'm a new lurker? If you don't want to then that's fine too.

256 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-02 10:42 ID:W9fMNEm+

post thunderchan!!!

257 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-02 12:24 ID:kAfa7MoL

I'll do you one better, >>255, I'll try and find the missing posts, since I posted them to my private blog, as well.

Quick background info:
I am 22 y/o girl (23 now) who has been burned a lot by love in the past - I have never had a boyfriend, never had a serious relationship. I have had a lot of crushes, even to go so far as confessing my feelings to someone (my best friend at the time) only to be told, "I really like you, but I don't think of you that way, you are like my little sister" and "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" - and he started dating my OTHER best friend a little while later because she just wanted SEX. I am "weird" because I am into alternative things and I kind of have a damaged view of men, due to traumatic past. Still, I am a hopeless romantic...or maybe just hopeless.

NeWayZ I thought that was all turning around when I met somebody. He seemed like my idea of the perfect boy, the one I had been waiting for for so long. He was smart, attractive, and funny, and we had many things in common. I was so worried that I was going to be the weird girl again, the one that guys might think is cute but they never want to date because she is too strange. A lot of my straight guy friends feel that way about me. I'm afraid of going over the text limit, so I will show some excerpts of my posts in the next post, and that way people can ignore if they want.

258 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-02 12:48 ID:kAfa7MoL

>My first (private blog) post sounded like this, and is dated in april:

SOS

SOS

.....ah god I met somebody and they probably don't like me anyway but oh god what to do

＿|￣|O

this is just a fantasy....

fdgbhjk;lffklf

ah god I'm hopeless.

[edit]: this is probably the first time I have actually met somebody IRL that I have been attracted to in two years....

....still, hopeless. I should give it up, huh?

259 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-02 12:59 ID:kAfa7MoL


--OLD POST--

ME: I think I'll call...
ME: -nervous-
BESTFRIEND: haha dont be!
BESTFRIEND: hes just a boy
BESTFRIEND: A STUPID BOY
BESTFRIEND: who likes vajajays
ME: you know what
ME: you're right
BESTFRIEND: haha see! I know I am!

Okay, gonna call. Gonna call.

　　　 　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　　∩ﾟДﾟ）＜　....
□………(つ　 |　 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
----------------------------
MICHICHU



Phone:

-ring...ring...ring...-




　　　 　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　　∩ﾟДﾟ）＜　pick up before I lose my cool!
□………(つ　 |　 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
----------------------------
MICHICHU

Phone: -ring...ring...ring...-


　　　 　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　　∩`Д'）＜　Michichu wants to hang up... D:
□………(つ　 |　 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
----------------------------
MICHICHU


Phone: -ring ring...-



　　　 　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　　∩`Д'）＜　fuck thi---
□………(つ　 |　 　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
----------------------------
MICHICHU

　　 　　 　　C∧ ∧
　-- 　　　 ○(ﾟ∀ﾟ )
／◎＼……C｜　 ＼　　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　∧
／￣￣￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| Helllo?
＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿



　　　 　　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　　∩;ﾟ∀ﾟ）＜　Hiiiiiii!! 8D;;;
□………(つ　|　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
------------------
MICHICHU



Me: hiiiiii! 8D;;


Him: Hey, what's up?
Me: oh, hey, um, yeah, just calling...you know,to see aboutthisweekendhjkjhl...
Him: Oh, yeah. you still wanna do something?
Me: (duh, stupidhead >:[ ) um, yeah.

I was really tempted to say date at some point in the conversation. [snip]
some guys told me I have to say the word "date," though, but I don't want to scare him off....

And they say I should ask, "will you go on a date with me?", which I can guarantee you will come out sounding "wannagodawime."

anyway, BOY starts talking about getting some friends together to show me around. He keeps on mentioning his friends, so finally I say,

Me: you know, I don't mind spending time with just you and me, either...
Him: What? -laughs- Oh, of course. You silly 4chan girl.
Me: ???
Me: What...what do you mean by that??
Him: Oh, nothing. -laughs- Silly.
Me: I'm not!

Him: Hey, look, I'll call you tomorrow, okay? To solidify plans and such.
Me: Okay...

he mentions he's going to go to a wine-tasting thing, and not to be surprised if I get drunken texts from him.

him: By the way, what kind of wine do you like?
Me:(babbling) White wine, oh, and i really like rose, but you're notsupposed to, because it's considered lesser quality than pure white,but I like the taste and it's pretty and --
Him: -laughs- okay, okay, I can probably get that.

and again is the fear that he just wants to get me drunk for seXXX0rZ.

It's sad, isn't it, when you're really looking forward to a drunken phone call/text message....


And he never called, by the way.

THEN I had a nightmare. An honest-to-goodness nightmare. He and I were hanging out with a bunch of friends, and he was making it obvious that he liked me. I was really happy. And then he and BESTFRIEND were really really mean, and then BESTFRIEND tore him apart. Literally, tore him apart.

Like there were blood and guts everywhere.

He didn't die from it, but the dream was a horrible weepy mess after that!

I know I'm just overthinking and being crazy.
I am too weird....

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ

--END OLD POST--

260 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-02 15:45 ID:cz4YEo6J

Intriguing. Please continue in your exposition!

261 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-02 20:27 ID:W9fMNEm+

awww continue to post!!!

262 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-02 21:47 ID:kAfa7MoL

Well, something that I never told the first time around is that we actually kissed. Why didn't I tell it? I was nervous and wondering if it actually meant something, or was it the result of being drunk.

--OLD POST--

[at his place] he introduces me to his roommates, joking that he's bringing a girl home to freak out his conservative Christian roommate. (I am hoping beyond hope that he likes me that way) His roommates are kinda frat-boy looking and very attractive. Not as attractive as him, though...

We end up doing shots of whiskey. They have a butler closet, apparently, a small, dark space for drinking in. He says, "Come in closer," and I can't help but think how this could be really romantic, since it's dark and they have fun lighting....

We do three shots and then he mixes a drink that he insists that we share. Surrogate kiss! 8D ...okay, lame.

I'm pretty tipsy by the time we start walking towards the train. He slows down to wait for me because I'm wearing heels, and he laughs when I point out that my legs aren't as long as his. We sit on the train together and he has his arm on the back of my seat - the alcohol emboldens me and I lean into him, a little.

(´･ω･`)

He's way too 1337 for me...-,- I mean, gorgeous, smart, funny, AND interesting?? He could have any girl...I'm not...not the kind that boys like this go for...

When we get to the bar, he says, "beer? dancing? Both?"

I say I don't need a beer, and he asks, "are you sure?" and then he suggests we split a beer. He asks me what kind, I say, "Heineken." He makes a pleased noise - "I was just about to suggest that very same brand."

I am reading too much into this, i know...

And then he asks me to dance.

263 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-02 21:47 ID:kAfa7MoL

We start a little apart but then he pulls my body to his. I'm drunk and everything is wonderful and warm; my feet hurt from my heels but I don't care. The music is terrible and I can't find a good beat but I don't care. We're the only people dancing and I definitely don't care.

Pretty soon we are grinding - he holds my hand in his, our fingers intertwined. I normally feel so weird about dancing like this with a guy, but he smells nice, and every time I look at him he smiles at me.

(I feel really self-conscious about my body as he's running his hands over me...I need to lose weight, his body is so tight and toned and perfect...ugh.)

Before I know it, he's mouthing my ear - not kissing, mind you, but mouthing - lips and teeth, a lot of teeth, but occasionally a flicker of tongue. He nips at my ears sharply, but every time it almost hurts too much he stops and soothes it. His breath is really hot.

And I'm thinking, OH MY GOD.

There are other things he did, too. Like, he squeezed me real tight, until it hurt, and I'd squeeze back, his arms wrapped around my arms wrapped around me, our hands linked together. He'd also push me away a little and pull me back to him, or use my clothes to turn me around the way he wanted me to.

I kept on thinking, don't kiss him, don't kiss him, because I don't want him to think I'm easy, I don't want to end up making out with him because I like him so much and he's just drunk!

But then I think...if I never see him again after this, how sorry would I be if I never kissed him?

But we never kissed! I touch my lips to his lightly, pull away and smile at him, and he smiles at me, or he'll nuzzle my lips very softly but not apply pressure, and pull away and smile.

Aaah I'm so confused, no one has ever been like this and not wanted to make out before!

We dance like this for the next two hours, and when my friend calls to pick me up, we break apart like nothing.

Although he does say, "Do you have to go home after this?" and I say yes but he doesn't put up a fuss.

We get driven back... I go to get my things. He holds my hand the entire ride back. When I get out of the car, I pull him with me. He says, "you are so drunk!" and I say, "No, you are!"

When we get inside, we pass a bunch of people, and then he pulls me into a quiet room and K I S S E S M E so very suddenly, full on my lips, his tongue pressing into my mouth.

But it's a very short, soft kiss before we break apart.

I say, in a small, unsure voice, "Can I see you again?"
He smiles and says, "of course!"

I like him so much...Something is wrong with me...he probably just wants to be friends, right? I mean, alcohol makes everyone make out...Argh....

I feel so stupid.

＿|￣|O

--END OLD POST--

264 Name: >2X : 2008-12-03 03:51 ID:gUvV5GlI

Welcome back Thunder! :D
Didn't know about the kiss thing... this guy sure is weird. I'm too baked to make up any more insightful comment as of now.

Off to bed.

265 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-03 07:34 ID:W9fMNEm+

so was this... before he got "busy"??

266 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-03 07:57 ID:I/ukhXIx

>>263 Hi Thunderchan!! I blushed when i read this story, because i liked it so much!! :))))

267 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 13:45 ID:kAfa7MoL

>>265 yep, exactly.

In the timeline, we are now caught up to my post >>141

For people who don't want to go back and read it, basically he wasn't picking up his phone and I thought, ignoring me, but somehow we end up arranging a date, as described in >>159

268 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 14:01 ID:kAfa7MoL

Oh wait >>267 is wrong. I just found another old post that got deleted.

--OLD POST--

ME: what to wear what to wear what to wear

my friend the Lurve doctor: I told you already!! but yeah, we can talk [stuff], after I hear all about your ~date~ :-*

me: I KNOW
okay, now I'm going to spend an hour deciding

Doctor: haha, good luck with that

me: showing cleavage = too much??
I don't want him to think I'm slutty
I guess if I have to ask I shouldn't

FRIEND: well that depends how much cleavage
I would go with low to moderate amounts if you do go with cleavage

me: got it!
I think I want to look like a nice girl

me: I HATE EVERYTHING I OWN
okay.

FRIEND: you still have one of my shirts there, wear that

me: I don't want to look like I tried
which shirt?
I have a new dress but it's REALLY booby

FRIEND: I forget! I remember I had one woot shirt there that we couldn't find and your sis was probably squirreling it away somewhere
haha, I also love describing something as "really booby"
GOLD

me: Everything I own: okay, Thunder, we know you really like this d00d....so we're gonna make you look FAT

FRIEND: all your clothes had a little pow wow earlier today
those fiends

me: b itches


...

me: dating sucks, btw
-puts on a trashbag-

FRIEND: DERELICTE
I don't know how to make the accent
or I would


...


me: fuck a hole in my stocking
>:[

FRIEND: :[

me: -wears them anyway-

me: lol, at this point it's like, whateva, fuck you!

Adam: might as well be, otherwise you won't get to spend that much time with him!
me: OKAY ENOUGH
BYE


Okay, so I finally decided on something that didn't make me look like a pregnant goth elephant. (And no, no cleavage, at all.) And then I drove into town...he wasn't ready yet by the time I got there, so I hung out at Dunkin' Donuts and did some reading while I waited. All of our talk was very casual, so I went into this not expecting anything date-like at all. Although he did call to ask what I was wearing, dressy or casual, because he wanted to "match" me...Which makes sense, you know, given the circumstances. You don't want to look like a slob if the person you're with is dressed up. But still...( ´ー｀)

269 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 14:03 ID:kAfa7MoL

--OLD POST--

well, we were BANISHED from the apartment due to roommate so we went to dinner. We went to a fancy Italian restaurant. He admitted that he never really had much Italian, coming from down South and all. He said all his friends think it's funny how uncultured he is, since he knows so much about everything except...high culture, like wine and gourmet food, etc. I thought it was cute...

and then he told me about how he's been getting hit on by all these gay guys lately, who think he's hot and want into his jeans. (One of whom, who's really hot, apparently, wrote him a love letter on parchment. Because S.Boy doesn't like any of teh chiXX0rz at BU, his roommates all think he's gay and have been trying to hook him up with gay guys. THEY ARE ON A MISSION TO FIND HIM HIS HOMOSEXUAL LIFE PARTNER.) -laugh- Of course I thought that was hot...

Dinner conversation was friendly, but not flirty...at least, I don't think so. It was fun, though. We talked about our mutual plans to take over the world and how we'd build a fortress and threaten to destroy important stuff.

When the bill for dinner came, I tried to split with him, and he said, "Oh, don't worry about it." (｀･ω･´) He mentioned he had a lot of spare money, though, because he works and has nothing to spend it on...I told him he needs to save it up.

But, mostly, at this point I thought, "oh, maybe this is a date." （ﾟ∀ﾟ）

270 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 14:07 ID:kAfa7MoL

( ´ω`)--OLD--( ´ω`)

This time, I was really over how attractive he was. How smart he was really captivated my attention.

One thing I did notice is that he's really considerate of me. Like, when walking he'll slow down for me, and whenever we have to walk in the street he tries to herd me back to the sidewalk. He said to me, "I notice you like casual walking a lot...so I'll try not to make you run." He holds doors open for me, too. It really caught my attention. He's always trying to look out for me.

We didn't know what to do after dinner. I wanted to take a walk but it was cold (I was wearing a short skirt, and I laughed at myself and said, "poor foresight...") and we looked for a coffeeshop or something. He suggested going to see a movie.

(Hm, dinner and a movie...? Sounds familiar...)

So we got to the theatre, and then he went and got two tickets and paid for me.


That did it.


I wanted to...wanted to...do something....




Looking away, I reached for his hand.




He didn't look at me, but he took my hand in his, and adjusted my grip so that it was more comfortable.

271 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 14:11 ID:kAfa7MoL

( ´ω`)--OLD--( ´ω`)

When we got to our seats, he put the arm up so that we could sit together with nothing between us. I never sat all the way in the back row before, and when I realized that it was because he wanted us to be able to watch so no one could look at us, well...haha. I don't have an emoticon for this nervous/happy/scandalised/:o feeling!

He kept on asking if i was comfortable. I asked if he was, and he said, "It doesn't matter as long as you are."


(`~')

We laughed and talked like normal throughout the movie. He didn't try to kiss me at any point.

We didn't let go after that, even when it got a bit sweaty (ewww...) we just readjusted our hands.


Then we met up with one of my friends at a diner after. I loved watching them debate. He's really eloquent and intelligent, even though his style involves "slightly-making-fun-of-you" (I like this) "not letting you get a word in edgwise."

He held my hand under the table.


+　　　+
　　∧＿∧ 　+
　（0゜・∀・）　　　
　（0゜∪ ∪ + 　　　　　　　
　と＿_）__）　+



It was really hard not to tell him how much I liked him, you guys. I came very close several times throughout the evening. He would ask me a question about something that would lead me to that conclusion and then I would open my mouth, cut myself off, and just say, "Don't make me say embarrassing things..."

272 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 14:15 ID:kAfa7MoL

Thunder made a BIG slip up at some point and mentioned that my parents wanted to meet him. (I KNOW I SUCK AND IT'S THE SECOND DATE GUYS) It didn't come out of nowhere, though, because my mom kept on calling my phone since I was out so late and Boy said, "you should bring me home so I can charm her."

And he mentioned wanting to meet my friends...I think I may have let it slip my friends want to meet him...urgh...＿|￣|○ Fail.

but, -laughs- he mentioned he couldn't do both at the same time. He was like, "I can meet family, and I can meet friends, but the two together is too too much" and I kept on trying to backtrack and say, "no, no, you don't have to..." asdghjsdhghsjk （　゜д゜）

We were talking about what makes guys attracted to what they are, and he said "we" when talking about Alpha Males, and I teased him about it, and he said how they like cute girls. I was being Thunder at one point, being a little oblivious, and he goes "see, subconsciously, I like that."

Some parts seriously made me fshjhkjlkflgjk, though. At one point, he said something like, "I just want to do whatever makes you happy."

I mumbled, "you make me happy..." (´；д；)；

At which point he predictably went "awww" (and you all lost your lunch all over your screen) and then he turned to my friend and said, "See? We know what we're doing."

-laughs- which is funny, since he has absolutely NO IDEA how little I know what I'm doing.

Anyway, that was the highlights of the evening. We've got a date set for next weekend, because he has finals until then, and he said, "If I see you, you'll distract me..."

( ´ー｀)

PLEASE LET ME KNoW IF THESE UPDATES ARE SICKENING YOU NOW. I'LL GLADLY TAkE YOU OFF THIS FILTER.

at this point, I think I'm recording the things that happen for my own benefit...This is the very first time that something like this has happened for me, guys...I guess I'll just have to see where it goes.


[edit]: It's weird, that I've known him for such a short time, but I feel like I've liked him for so long, and I like him so much...I feel like it's a lightning strike, this type of feeling that I've always dreamed about and waited for my entire life to happen...I know, I know, I'm still rational and I'm not gonna read too much into this, and I know it can still ph41l m1s3r4bly (lulz) but that's just how it feels, guys. ＿|￣|○

Don't worry, I am trying really hard to play the Game!

Don't screw this one up, THUNDER!! ＿|￣|○ >:[!!!

--END OLD POST--

273 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-03 15:31 ID:W9fMNEm+

so did something happen? is this why you're updating again?

274 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 15:36 ID:kAfa7MoL

Yes, several things have happened. I finally have a conclusion to this story, although it isn't necessarily the happy ending we wanted...But closure can be its own sort of happiness, you know?

275 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-03 18:58 ID:Heaven

this thread = wall of text

276 Name: Thunder!!LSmEN0E2 : 2008-12-03 20:33 ID:Heaven

Sorry >>275, I was trying to figure out the best way to break up the posts since I don't know the text limit, but I should have just pasted it all in one or two posts, huh? Don't like, don't read. ( ・ω・)
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