( ´ω`) hello kids!

（ ´ω`）>>550 (such is the cycle of the universe)

(・∀・) "Time is such a wheel that no man can stand upon it long.

          And it always, in the end, comes back around to where it began."

(・∀・) I read that in a book, once.

（ ´ω`）You? Read books? You're shitting me.

(・∀・) Actually, grandpa, I rather enjoy it.

（ ´ω`）Well sonny if you are so wise, do something to repopulate this thread

（ ´ω`）Because I'm the only one posting here for a while.

(・∀・) Hey everyone, I hear they're giving out free chicken and watermelon over at "( ´ω) Grandpa (v2.0)"! Yes, that's "( ´ω) Grandpa (v2.0)"!

(・∀・) .......Grandpa, what did I do to your face?!

(・∀・) Grandpa, don't you think I just don't have anything else to ask?

（ ´ω`）If you stop asking questions, I will die.

（ ´ω`）I must live forever...Give me questions, Junior. NOW.

( ｀ハ´) (So that is where he gets his strength...perhaps I should create a Darkpa thread and have Junior start asking me questions...)

(・∀・) Well, Grandpa, I have a few suggestions.

(・∀・) Perhaps someone should create a website that you can enter in any question and Grandpa will answer! Or something of that sort - like a mIRC bot or AIM bot or something. You could use questions previously answered, or new ones too.

(・∀・) Or, Squeeks should archive the Grandpa threads and immortalize them on this website. We are sort of mascots, yknow!

（ ´ω`）Not until the comedy starts. Someone needs to stop the LAZY and make with the ASCII ART if you know what I mean.

（ ´ω`） You can't replace me with a machine!

(・∀・) Oh, shut up Grandpa! Today's thanksgiving. Let's eat and grow fat!

（ ´ω`) What was that, Junior? I'm busy digesting.

(　　　　　　・∀・　　) I feel a bit heavy..

(　　　　　　　　・∀・　　　　) Oh well, its nothing!

（ ´ω`) Dessert goes in a different stomach, after all! Haha!

(・∀・) So you don't have to exercise to burn the fat Grandpa?

(・∀・) I bet his muscles have disappeared.
Not like the old days sparrring with Bruce Lee, huh?

（ ´ω`) What are you talking about, Junior? Bruce Lee could kick your ass from beyond the grave if he wanted.

(・∀・) Kind of embarassing to die from a headache-relief pill, don't you think?

（ ´ω`) I have lived and died. So?

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think the Japanese were as offended by Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls as I was by her solo career?

　　　　　 ∧＿∧
　　　　　（　 ´ω`）This is how I felt about the manner.
　　　　 /⌒　　　 ヽ
　　　　/　/　　　 ﾉヽ　　　　＿ー￣＿￣）', 　・　∴.'　　， ．. ∧＿∧　∴.'.'　　，　．
　　　 (　/ヽ　　　|　）　--＿- ― ＝￣　￣`:,　.∴ '　　 　　 ((( #)｀ハ´)　.∴　'
　　　　＼ /　　_,　-''￣　　＝　＿＿――＝',　・,'　.ｒ⌒>　 _／ ／ ・,'　,　・,‘
　　　 　 （　　 _~"" -- 　＿-―　￣＝＿　　)":" .' |　ｙ'⌒ ⌒i .'　. 　　’
　　　　　 | 　 /,,, ＿―　￣＿＝＿　　`　)),∴.　).　 |　　／　 ノ ｜ ∴.'∴.'
　　　 　　|　 /　/　　　―＝　＿　)￣＝＿)　　 ＿), ー' 　／´ヾ_ﾉ
　　　　 　(　 )　)　　　　　　＿　＿ )＝　　＿)　,.／　,　　ノ　　'
　　　　　 |　|　/　　　　　　　　　　＝　＿)　　／　／ ／　　　,　・,‘
　　　　　 |　|　|.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　／　／　,'　　,　・,‘
　　　　　/　|＼ ＼　　　　　　　　　　　　／　 ／| 　|
　　 　 ∠／　　￣　　　　　　　　　　　　!､＿／ / 　 ）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 |_／

(・∀・) Ouch!

(・∀・) Grandpa, were you in the war?

（ ´ω`) I'm not your stereotypical Grandpa. I wasn't in just -one- war, I was in every war out there to date, even some that weren't historically recorded. How did I get through them all with maybe one or two flesh wounds?

　　　　　　　　()二))
　　　　　　　　　　　``ヽ
　　　　＿＿＿＿＿;==ﾆlﾆﾆﾆﾆﾆ(),,,　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　;;'''''"´´´"""''''''::;:,,,
　　　　'＝＝＝ #[ﾛﾆ]]￣￣￣|￣￣￣￣￣￣||二二二二二二二　　　　　　　　　　,;;;;;´´"''' -
　　　　　`ー　. ＿＿ _／ Ｏ;:ﾆﾆ()￣￣￣￣￣　　　　　　　　　 　　´''''::::::;;;;::::'''''''''´´´
　　　　　　　　.!∧∧|」（◎）ヽ-ー'
　　　　　　　　!( ´ω`) 　 　 :::| It was this baby. Let me show you
　　　　　　 　 |(| 　 |　,,,,,, 　:::| some of its awesome power.
　 　　　　　 〜|　　|＿＿＿:::|　,,,
[二]二二二二 し｀Ｊ|＿＿|二二二二二二二[二]
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧
　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（ハ´；　）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⊂　∧　　つ
.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　-＝≡●て　ヽ　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 （＿_ﾉw （＿）

(・∀・) Do you ever wish for the days before the endless September, Grandpa? I know you were there, I saw the old usenet postings you made in alt.usenet.kooks.

( ´ω`) Junior, you need to find a better news source than Green Day albums.

(・∀・) Grandpa, its snowing! Come outside and lets play!

( ´ω`) Ouch, my back...

(・∀・) ...Grandpa, when's the last time you got off your ass and did something?

( ´ω`) when I fucked your mother

( ´ω`)ノ凸

( ｀ハ´)ノ凸

(・Д・) Wh, what?!

( ´ω`) Just forgot my pills today, thats all.

(・∀・) Is that why you were holding an ink bottle just now?

( ・ω・)ノ凸 < Hey I have one too! But what is it?

( ・ω・)ノ凹 < Oh?

(・∀・) Those're Legos, Clonepa. And they're mine, so stop playing with them!

(・∀・) Grandpa, I heard you were going to star in Metal Gear Solid 4 as Solid Snake. Is this true?

( ´ω`) I'm working on it with Koijma himself, Junior. The eyepatch itches, though.

( ・ω・) David Hayter is my hero.

(・∀・) Grandpa, who is the better hero? You or David Hayter?

( ´ω`) Well, he also voices Sephiroth...

(・∀・) Grandpa, why should I copy-paste my face before talking to you?

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield?

(・∀・) Grandpa, what do you think of the IRS?

( ´ω`) One at a time, Junior! I'm too old to multitask like you can nowadays.

( ´ω`) I severed my ties with Anonymous long ago. Anyhow, I won't answer questions if I don't know who's asking them. Just don't fight the system...or I'll fight you.

( ´ω`) Yeah...I do. I think at any time, any place... people can fall in love with each other. But... if you love someone, you have to be able to... er... Line?

( ´ω`) tl;dring the last question but I give you a thumbs up for the awesome timestamp.
( ´ω`)b

(・∀・) Granpa, is W.T. Snacks really gone?

( ´ω`) W.T. Snacks will be back. For he WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR

( ´ω`) Maybe you should know that he never existed in the first place, Junior. You mother only created him to threaten you so that you would finish your meal and go to bed.

(・∀・) Grandpa, why are our timestamps set at 1993?

( ´ω`) Junior, the month is much more important than the year.

(・∀・) Grandma says its the week that matters!

( ´ω`) Grandma isn't that good with numbers, I must actually remind her of your birthday every year you know.

(・Д・) I have a birthday?!

(´ω`) He has a birthday?

(・∀・) 600GET

(・∀・) Grandpa! Is it true you were born in 1874? Wiki says so!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandpa

( ´ω`) Kiddo, I've already told you that Wikipedia isn't the best--well, a few cans short of a six-pack, yknow.

( ´ω`) Anyway, you'll never find true background data about me on the internet. I've hired several of the world's best hackers to destroy all information pertaining to me, my ancestors, and anyone related to me.

(;´ω`) You see, I've done some pretty wild stuff in the past that had to be kept in secret.

>>602 (・∀・) Pretty wild stuff? You cheated on Grandma?

( ｀ハ´）Ha! Darkpa III returns, as was foretold in >>410!

( ｀ハ´）Now, Grandpa, where were we?

(・∀・) Not now, Darkpa III! Grandpa was about to spill the beans on his dark and mysterious past! Return in like, >>700+ or so.

( ｀ハ´）His past? He was the first hikkikomori, living in a hut made of dry leaves, using a computer made of twigs! Ha ha.. ha...

>http://www.google.com.tr/search?q=grandpa
>Results 1 - 10 of about 5,930,000 for grandpa [definition]. (0.28 seconds)

(・∀・) Shit grandpa, what the hell did you do??

( ´ω`) Well sonny, I smoke pot. A lot of it. I grow it myself too.

(・∀・) Shit grandpa, you are the only one writing here.

(・Д・;）Don't die on me, Grandpa!

( ´ω`) Anyway, about my past...

( ´ω`) I was a young man, my parents had abandoned me. Fuck them. I didn't need them nor did I need anyone. I got in a lot of trouble...

( ´ω`) It was then I met Darkpa, but back then I called him Vicious. Vicious was always one to run into trouble and we'd always get into adventures and whatnot. We were both the little rascals.

( ｀ハ´）Remember that one time I set that chicks' mailbox on fire?

( ´ω`) Yeah, that was some good times.
(;´ω`) Wait, that was my first girlfriend's mailbox. She was nice. Ass.

( ｀ハ´）Haha.

( ´ω`) Anywho, yes Junior, indeed, me and Vicious used to hang out together. We both, however, had extremely different point of views on life. In the dark, rainy night, countless years ago, Vicious and I had our first real fight...

FLASHBACK FROM NOW ON

( ・ハ・）*Come on young Grandpa, I can kick your ass*

( ・∀・) young grandpa I'd like to see you try, vicious! have at you!!

*素晴らしいチンチンもの
金玉の毛ある
その音はサルボボ
いいえ！忍者がいます
Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する*

──
─────── ― -　--
─── /⌒ヽ　　────────
￣￣　 / ,ﾍ　 　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣　　　,　”　'　‐ , 　　　　　　　
￣￣　i　.i　＼ （　・∀・ヽ, 　　___,, __ ＿ ,, - _―" ’.　　'　・,　　’・　　　 　∧＿∧ 　
──　ヽ勿　　ヽ,__＾ 　 j　 i〜""　　　　 ＿ ― ＿: i ∴”_　∵,　　　　　　(　　　　)
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 　 ヽ,,　/　/　__,,, -- "" ─ "ー ・, ；　; - 、・　　 r=-,/⌒　　〜ヽ
───────　 ヽﾉ　ﾉ,イ　　─── ― -　　　　　 　 　　 　i　ｙ 　ﾉ'　ﾉi　j |
───────　 /　/,. 　ヽ, 　──　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　 i,,___ノ　　　/／
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 　 丿 ﾉ　ヽ,__,ﾉ　＿＿＿ ＿　_ _　　　　　 　　 　　,'　　　　ゝi
　　　　　　　　　　 j　 i　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 ／　　　y　ノ
＿＿＿＿＿ 　 　巛i〜　＿＿＿＿ ＿　　　　　　　　　　　　　/ 　　 ／〜／
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　i　 　<　/
───────　　.　　　　　　　　　

*大切なもの protect my balls
僕が悪い so let's fighting*

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　＿　＿　　　　　.'　　，　．.　∧＿∧
　　　　　　　　　!:＼i:＼ｌ_　- ― ＝￣　￣`:,　.∴　'　　　　　（ 　　　）
　　　　　　　　　,　-''￣　　　　＿＿――＝',　・,‘　ｒ⌒>　 _／ ／
　　　　　　　　／　　　-―　￣￣　　￣"'"　. 　　’ |　ｙ'⌒　　⌒i
　　　　　　　/　　　ノ　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|　　／　　ノ ｜
　　　　　　/　　, ｲ ）　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　, ー' 　／´ヾ_ﾉ
　　　　 　/　 　_,　＼　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　／　,　　ノ
　　　　 　|　　/ ＼　 `､　　　　　　　　　　　　／　／ ／
　　　　 　ｊ　 /　　ヽ 　|　　　　　　　　　　　／　／　,'
　　　　／　ノ　　　｛ 　|　　　　　　 　　　／　 ／| 　|
　　 ／　／　　　 　|　（_　　　　　　　 　!､＿／ / 　 〉
　　､＿〉　　　　 　ー‐‐　　　　　　　　　　　　|_／

*Let's fighting love...
Let's fighting love...*

( ´ω`) I won the fight, due to my superior fighting skills and catchy music playing in the background.

( ｀ハ´）But in my last moment, I kicked you straight in the balls.

( ´ω`) Yep. You're fortunate to be alive, Junior, because I'd have never had your father if Vicious hit any harder then he did. Unfortunately, I immediately lost the fight after that, and I vowed my revenge on Darkpa. Damn sonofabitch won't die, though, no matter how hard I kick his ass.

( ｀ハ´）Because I've found the 7 DQNballs and asked the mighty BU-N Dragon for immortality. Hahahaha!

( ´ω`) Fag. Anyway, I met my first girlfriend after that. I found myself at a hospital, and this cute nurse was healing up my chinpo...

(・∀・) Grandpa, you're acting a bit hip all of a sudden. It's kind of weird, so stop!

Flashback~

( ・∀・) H-hwaaarg...

(*ﾟーﾟ) Oh! You're finally awake.

( ・∀・) W-where am I?! Where's Vicious?! Ow!

(*ﾟーﾟ) Calm down, your chinpo took some pretty serious damage.

( ・∀・) I swear I'll get him...

now, I never knew it then. but that nurse would change the history of the DQN...

(*ﾟーﾟ) By the way, your chinpo's lovely...

( ・∀・) You think so? Well, I think you're lovely too, madam'.

☆：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･( ・∀・)(ﾟーﾟ*)：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･☆
　☆：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･( ・(　　 )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･☆
　　　　　　　　　　　kiss

end flashback

(・∀・) TL;DR IM GOING TO BE SICK GRANDPA!

( ´ω`) Yep, me and that nurse got hitched. She was a special one, as she was the first of my many >>1000 girlfriends, and the first out of >>1000 to get it on. However, it never occured to me what kind of person she truly was. It'd seem she had astronomical powers; those which ascend beyond mine. She created a creature that was the true epitome of all things DQN: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）). From there, she make the gods mona, giko, BU-N, Nida, Oppai Oppai, and all the other crazy characters you see occasionally here. These characters devastated DQN with their own ambitions and rampaged throughout this society.

( ´ω`) I wasn't quite sure what to do with her, until...

　　　.＿＿＿　　　　　　　
　　/　||￣￣||　∧＿∧　　　　
　　| 　||＿＿|| (・∀・) I'm starting a blog for you grandpa.
　　|￣￣＼三⊂/￣￣￣/　　 　　

( ´ω`) Your blogging pushed us off of the front page. Thanks alot, Junior.

(・ω・) Continue your story, grandpa!

(・∀・) Wait! Didn't you say in >>108 that you met grandma on a train?

( ´ω`) You fool, I didn't say that nurse was your grandmother.

( ´ω`) Well, the truth was, I wasn't too fond of these new gods. I just seemed to never get along with them that well.

flashback

(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) DUuuURUUURRRRR!!
(・ﾄｪｪｪｲ・) Duurrrr!
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) UR DOIEN IT WRONG
( ・∀・) Oh shut up, nurupo.
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) GA!

（ ´∀｀）Omae mona!
( ・∀・) Oh my mo-nah!
（ ´∀｀）Mitsuki-chan!!
( ・∀・) Meetskey-chan!!
（ ´∀｀）You fail it nurupo.
( ・∀・) NO U

(・∀・) Happy World AIDS Day, grandpa!

( ´ω`) You'd have to worry about that.

( ´ω`) Well, kiddo, I'm done talking about my past for now. I'll probably start talking about it again in Grandpa 3.0. It'll be twice as interesting and full of awesome adventure, but I have to sleep now.

( ´ω`) ZZzZzZzzzzzzzZzzzzz

(・∀・) Grandpa, Grandpa, wake up! There is somebody on the phone, he wants to talk to you and said it's urgent!

　　　 ,一-、　　　　　　 　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　| l ￣ ヽ　　　　　＜　We have gotten the phone number. Tap in.
　　　6-■■　　　　　　　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　 ヽ´∀｀ 　　　　
　　　／|Ｙ/＼　　

flashback

(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) duuuuurrr...
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) duuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrr......
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) DUUUUUUuuUUUUUUUuURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

end flashback

　　　　　 　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　 　∩´ω`)＜ Hello? Yes, my refrigerator is running....　
□………(つ　　| 　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

　　　 ,一-、　　　　　　 　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　| l ￣ ヽ　　　　　＜　That idiot... can't even recognize the secret keyphrase anymore...
　　　6-■■　　　　　　　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　 ヽ 　／ 　　　　
　　　／|Ｙ/＼　　

　　　　　 　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　 　∩´ω`)＜ ...hello? ...hello?! ...
□………(つ　　| 　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

　　　　　 　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　 　∩ﾟ∀ﾟ)＜ Oppai! Oppai!
□………(つ　　| 　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

(;・Д・) Grandpa, who is it? The FBI? CIA? DQN?

( ´ω`) No, the DQN would have kept going DUUURRRRRRRRRRRR, this must be Darkpa's doing...

( ´ω`) Sonny, there is something I have tell you... about my past. I was the maker of mew mew project.

Σ(; ° Д ° ) What!? Are you for real, grandpa?