( ´ω`) Well, we'll need this thread eventually.

|ω`) -urk!-
|ωx)

( ⌒-⌒) Let's all take the pills, Mittens. They're all that's left.

(・∀・) つ・
(・o・)・ノ
(・∀・) -Gulp!-
(・∀ -) huh?
(・A -) aughhh...
( ´ω`) Junior, no!
(・A -) G-graaandpa...before I die..I want to tell you something.
( ´ω`) What is it, Junior?
(・A -) ...kintana kintana has a deeper meaning...you must find it...it is located in afri -URK!-
(x A x)
( ´O`) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

( ´ω`) But...what was I supposed to find? A scroll? A mysterious woman?
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) MITTENS?!
( ´ω`) WE'LL GO TO AFRICA TO FIND OUT!
( ´ω`) by the way, shut up mittens.

--GRANDPA: THE MOVIE--

-in Africa-

( ´ω`) Well, here I am...

( -ω`) Urk...what is this?

( xω`) Shit! I forgot there's only AIDS in Africa! Junior tricked me!

( ﾟωﾟ) Cut! That wasn't in the script!

Σ>(εﾟハﾟ)з Hi, I'm Catfishpa. 'sup?

( ﾟωﾟ) You can be the villain!

( ´ω`) BU-N! Help me push this stone over so I can get in this cave!
（ ＾ω＾）Okay!
( ´ω`) Thanks.
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) I wonder if we'll find mittens in here!
( ´ω`) There are no mittens in Africa.
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) ...

( ´ω`) Ah-hah! A scroll!
( ´ω`) It says -
"Kintana kintana means 'ultimate spirit.' Chanting it 5 times will end all war."
( ´ω`) ...That sounds easy!
Σ>(εﾟハﾟ)з Not with me! Hahaha!!!

(・∀・) Grandpa! I'm back!

( ´ω`) I guess that means it's time for the epic final battle!

|ω`) I don't think I'll be able to stand acting in this garbage without another beer.

|彡

( ﾟωﾟ) Drunk fighting?! That's great!

Σ>(εﾟハﾟ)з HIYA!!!
( ´ω`) block aaaaaaHHAHGHAHGHGAG
( ´ω`) GIBBELSIG BEAMM!!!!!

(・∀・) ...Grandpa... you're peeing on him...

( ´ω`) That's the thing, Junior!
Σ> Crap, now I'm just a fin.

Σ> waaah waaah i'm going home
<]
( ´ω`) kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana kintana

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Yay! Everything's normal again!
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) NORMAL!

( ﾟωﾟ) CUT!

( ﾟωﾟ) Ms. Mittens, that was absolutely pathetic. Try again.

( ´ω`) Who are you? I haven't seen you befo ( ಠωಠ) WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) How do I do it, Autismpa?

( ಠωಠ) FIRST YOU MUST CHARGE YOUR LAZOR

( ´ω`) Then say "shoop da whoop!" The Kaiser sure hated to hear us say that, Junior.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZOR!
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Shoop da whoop!

( ´ω`) And then you go back to 4chan like the little brain-damaged shithead you are.

( ﾟ -ﾟ) ... that's harsh.

( ´ω`) Mittens, the only place where 4chan catchphrases are funny is on 4chan. Learn it, know it, live it.

( ・-・) GRANDPA YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILLS OKAY?

( ´ω`) Firepance this.
( ・-・) STOP RAPING ME! SECURITY!

( ´ω`) ahhh... I miss the old days when raping was legal
(　ﾟ∀ﾟ) ...
(　ﾟ∀ﾟ) It wasn't ever legal...
( ´ω`) well the past is in the past

ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ Did somebody call for security nya?

( ・-・) GRANDPA RAPED ME!
( ´ω`) I-I can explain!

ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ No need for an explanation.

ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ Beady eyes, you're coming with me.

( ´ω`) Beady eyes was a man?!

( ´O`) Noooooooooooooooooooo!

( ・-・) Lucky for you, I'm all woman.

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's a woman who is not all woman?

( ´ω`) A product of gay magic.

( ・-・) I don't believe in magic.

( ´ω`) You HAVE to believe! </disney>

( ・-・) How is the magic gay?

( ´ω`) It's happy. Gay magic is happy magic.

( ・-・) Im not a happy person.

( ・ヮ・) Gay ma...

( ・-・) Crap.

( ´ω`) You shouldn't be happy. Gay magic is one of the most profoundly stupid catchphrases that ever sprung up around here. It's like we suddenly have 11 year olds posting all over this board.

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's the best way to stop this crappy gay magic catchphrase?

( ´ω`) That's easy Junior! Just don't respond to it. Ignore replies that contain it - you won't be missing out on anything, because they're never funny and always terrible. Assume that the poster who posts such words is a troll and a flamer. You know how we deal with trolls, right Junior?

(・∀・) Anooo....Don't feed them!

( ´ω`) That's right sonny, don't feed them! So remember, just ignore replies which contain that silly catchphrase, and the trolls will soon get bored and go away.

( ´ω`) And hopefully they'll take that beady-eyed guy with them. I hate that sonofabitch.

(・∀・) Grandpa, you're the best!

( ´ω`) Yes, yes I am.

( ・-・) You're an elitist superstructuralist faggot.

　　　　∩
( ´ω`) ☆
　⊂彡☆))-・) < ow sorry ow ow ow sorry ow
　　☆

(・∀・) No, Grandpa! I mean the war! Blood and stuff!

( ´ω`) Oh, the war... yes, yes, yes...

( ´ω`) Plasma bug fire was shredding the Fleet. I was in with the 358th Mechanized Infantry, and we were burning down toward Klendathu at maximum landing insertion velocity. The dropship rattled like an earthquake in a subway station all the way down. Once on planet, we locked, loaded and started shredding the Bugs with waves of magnetically accelerated gauss needles. Puuchico was one of the first to get torn apart by the warrior bugs. We lost five more in the next two minutes, and in the end, only three of us made it to the pickup point.

(・∀・) Grandpa. Squeeks threw your old threads away. Don't you even care?

( ´ω`) Deleting old threads is kind of like the onset of Alzheimer's, Junior. It only really bothers other people.

( ´ω`) You will be married to Mittens, with 6,000 AA children. You invented the cure for the common cold. You will die on April 20, 4001. Hitler will then torture your soul.

(・∀・) Wait, 4001? Then, when will 1993 end?

( ´ω`) Whenever September does.

(・∀・) But what about October, November, and December?

( ´ω`) After them, obviously. What are they teaching you in school these days?

(・∀・) They teach us how to abstain from sex by using gay magic. And something about differential equations.

( ´ω`) Again with the gay magic. Is that beady-eyed faggot still here?

( ・-・) For the last time! I don't believe in any magic!

(・∀・) Grandpa, what are clouds?

( ´ω`) Big clumps of water vapor high up in the atmosphere. There is some thought these days that cosmic rays interacting with that same water vapor is what causes clouds to form.

( ´ω`) Global warming proponents believe that clouds are man's fault.

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you believe in Global Warming?

( ´ω`) I believe that the world will end in 51 days. Does that count?

(・∀・) Will it be 1994 then?

(　・　∀　・　)

( ´ω`) No.

(・∀・) But how will I live until the year 4001 if there is no world?

( ´ω`) There's plenty of wide open real estate on Mars, boy.

( ´ω`) That, and you could simply write that it was the year 4001 on your calender, junior.

(・∀・) grandpa a firepance gibbelsig liger ux slorpadig

( ´ω`) Only if nobody was there to hear it, Junior.

　　　 　　　　　　, .
　　　　　　　　（ ´ω`）　　　　.　　.
　　　　　　　　○=｛=｝〇, ; .'´　｀. zz zz zz zz zz
　　　　　　　　|:::::::::＼,.'.;´," :´,´'　. ﾞ　.｀　.
.,,.,.,,,,.,.,,,.,.,,,,,.,..,し,,.,.,`（.＠）ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ∩ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⊂⌒　⊃・∀・）⊃

(・∀・) Grandpa, if I fart in the woods and there is nobody to hear it, did I really fart?

( ´ω`) Junior, what is the sound of one cheek flapping?

(・∀・)

(・∀・ ) Bhao

(・∀・)

(・∀・ ) Bhao

(・∀・) What did it sound like, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) It was the War all over again, Junior.

(・∀・) WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS
(・∀・) WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS

(・∀・) ...is what I keep telling to the grown-ups who are beating me.
(・∀・) What's so bad about a few windows broken? They get fresh air in their houses.
(・∀・) I bet they are jealous of my freedom.

( ´ω`) All work and no play makes Jack a millionaire, Junior.

(・∀・) Screw you, Grandpa! I'm getting my own thread!

( ´ω`) ZzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzZzzzzz....

( ´ω`) That would be the fifth time you fail then, Junior.

( ´ω`) So ronery

( ・-・) I'll keep you company.

( ´ω`) Piss off.

(☆ ﾟ∀ﾟ) Hi, Grandpa! I'll be your new "Junior!"

( ´ω`) Ah, Hoshiko! When did I last see you?
(☆ ﾟ∀ﾟ) A pretty long time! What was life like before the internet?

( ´ω`) We talked a lot over the phone.

( ´ω`) Attention whore. Come back when you've jumped the shark.

( ・-・) You both did that together back in the first thread.

(#・∀・) Beady eyes! Look at my scars!
(#・∀・) nghhhh
(・∀・#) aghhhh
(#・∀・#) rawrrr

( ・-・) I could care less about your fucking scars. I'm fucking dead.

( ´ω`) He's Swiss cheese now.

(#・∀・) Don't you mean "I couldn't care less?"