( ´ω`) Friends, Romans, Elitists, lend me your DQN.

(・∀・) Grandpa, why is this thread even here?

( ´ω`) Shut the fuck up. Grandpa threads are a tradition to DQN.

(・∀・) >>404 Point not found!

(・∀・) Okay, I'll give you that one. But why do people keep posting in this thread?

( ´ω`) It's the internet. Anyone who's here by definiton has nothing better to do but post crap.

( ・-・) Especially me.

(　･ิ-･ิ) Heh heh... that never gets old.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;・∀・;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Hey, Grandpa!

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;・∀・;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I'm your lawn! Stop walking on me!

( ・-・) Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower.

( ´ω`) Not my lawn. My lawn's pure Kentucky Wgrass.

(　@-@) Kukukukuu. My lawn's all gone to pot, so I smoked it.

( ´ω`) Sigh... might as well introduce yourself so we can see if your gimmick as already spoken for.

(　@-@) I'm Grandson. The 7 year old dumb grandson of a wise, charismatic old man. I ask lots of questions.

(・∀・) Wait, that's my gig.

?　? ?　?　??　? ?　??　? ?　??　? ?　??　? ?　?
?　? ?　　? ?　??　? ?　??　? ?　??　??　? ?　??　? ?　?
(・∀・)(　@-@) QUESTION ASK ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA
?　? ?　??　? ?　??　? ?　??　? ?　????　? ?　??　?　? ?　?? ?　??　? ?　?
?　? ?　??　? ?　???　? ?　??　?　? ?　??　? ?　?? ?　?

　　　　　　　　　　　　　!! ! ! !　!! 　! !! ! ! !　!! 　! !　!!　!!! ! ! !　!! 　! !　!
QUESTION ANSWER MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA (´ω` )
　　　　　 　　　　 　　 　　!! !　! !　!! ! ! !　!! 　! !　! ! ! !　!! 　! !　!
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　!! ! ! !!! ! ! !　!! 　! !　! 　! !!! ! !　!! 　! !　!!!! ! ! !　!! 　!
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　!! ! ! !　!! 　! !　!!!! ! ! !　!! 　! !　!!

(・∀・) Being dissatisfied is really getting old, old man.

　　　　／￣|
　　　　|　　｜
　　　 ｜ 　｜.　∧＿∧
　 ,―　　　　＼<ヽ｀∀´>
　| ＿＿_） 　 ｜　　ノ
　| ＿＿_） 　 ｜）＿）
　| ＿＿_） 　 ｜
　ヽ＿＿）＿／

　　 　 ／⌒)
　　⊆.==卍|_
　　 ( ´ω`) This is my thread, and it will go the way I want it to.

　　 　 ／⌒)
　　⊆.==惱|_
　　 ( ´ω`) Fuck you, Junior.

　　 　 ／⌒)
　　⊆.==尻|_
　　　( ﾟ ヮﾟ) HEIL MITTENS!

　　 　 ／⌒)
　　⊆.==尻|_
　　　( ﾟ ヮﾟ)Wait, I want the other hat.

　　 　 ／⌒)
　　⊆.==卍|_
　　　( ﾟ ヮﾟ) HEIL MITTENS!

　　 　 ／⌒)
　　⊆.==卍|_
　　　( ﾟ ヮﾟ) MITTENS!

( ´ω`) Well, that got old fast.

( ･∀･ ) Grandpa, you don't like hats?

　 ∧_∧　
　（ ・-・) I prefer cute cat ears.

　 ∧_∧　
　（ ・-・) Oh baby.

( ´ω`) I don't know, but it's disrespectful of you, Junior.

(・∀・) Sorry.

(・∀・) Grandpa, where did we come from?

（　・∀・）I'm Mona, Goddammit.

( ´(00)`) Being a pig here. Check me out. Oink and stuff.

(・∀・) Hehe snicker that's cute Grandpa, stop that.

(・∀・) Just like you.

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow dammit ow ow ow
　　　　　☆

（ ・-・) Predictable Tsukkomi.

(( )∀・) I'm calling Child Services!

　　　　　 　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　 　∩ﾟДﾟ）＜　Child Services.
□………(つ　　| 　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
. Child Services　　|
. 　 　　　　　　　　　 |

　　　　　　　　 C∧ ∧
　　 ___　　　　○(・∀・)
　／◎＼……C｜　 ＼
　　　　　　　　　　∧
／￣￣￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| Grandpa beat me up again.
＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

　　　　　 　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　 　∩ﾟДﾟ）＜　I'm sure he had good reason.
□………(つ　　| 　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
. Child Services　　|
. 　 　　　　　　　　　 |

　　　　　　　　 C∧ ∧
　　 ___　　　　○(´ω`)
　／◎＼……C｜　 ＼
　　　　　　　　　　∧
／￣￣￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| Hey, old bud! Wanna go out for a drink?
＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

　　　　　 　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　 　∩ﾟДﾟ）＜　Sure. Hey, smack Junior for me.
□………(つ　　| 　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
. Child Services　　|
. 　 　　　　　　　　　 |

((x)∀・) Child Services, I hate you.

（ ・-・) snicker

　　　　　　　　 C∧ ∧　 ∩
　　 ___　　　　○(´ω`)彡☆
　／◎＼……C⊂彡☆))∀・) ow dammit ow ow ow
　　　　　　　　　　∧
／￣￣￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| Guess what I'm doing right now!
＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

　　　　　 　∧ ∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　 　 　∩ﾟДﾟ）＜　Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!
□………(つ　　| 　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
. Child Services　　|
. 　 　　　　　　　　　 |

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆ This is the highest point my threads have seen since part 1!
　　　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow dammit ow ow ow
　　　　　☆

((x))∀・) Good Grandpas, don't try this at home. You could get a broken wrist.

　　へ-ﾍ
　 ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ Security here, nya.
〜(,_ｕｕﾉ

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆ I'll show you sore butts!!
　　　　⊂彡　☆( ・∀・) ow dammit ow ow ow
　　　　　☆　(＿＊＿)つ

( ´ω`) That's for running around without your pants on.

　　へ-ﾍ
　 ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ You probably shouldn't be uh hitting him like that I don't think, nya.
〜(,_ｕｕﾉ Or is it you ARE supposed to abuse children, nya. It must have been, nya. Grandpa always follows the law, nya.

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆-ﾍ
　　　　⊂彡　☆*´ｰ｀ﾐ Ow nya ow nya ow nya ow nya dammit nya
　　　　　　　〜(,_ｕｕﾉ

( ´ω`) Fuck yeah, I'm on a roll.

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,・∀・)彡 Hah, your back's turned, old fart!
　　　　⊂彡☆))ω`) !

( `ω´) Ju...nior...

　　　 ∧__∧
　　　（,,・∀・) Uh, oh, he's italicized now...

　　へ-ﾍ
　 ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ Italicized ~nyaa? We do not allow mafioso here, Mobpa ~nyaa!
〜(,_ｕｕﾉ

( `ω´) Go outside and guard the house.

　　へ-ﾍ
　 ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ Let the whole place burn the hell down, nya.
〜(,_ｕｕﾉ

( ´ω`) * checks insurance *

( ´ω`) I'm good with that.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ The world is in constant flux.

( ´ω`) And what are YOU suppose to be?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Your place is not to ask questions, and mine is not to answer. I'm just the narrator. Usually I try to have some kind of ironic twist or moral in these things, but.. I got nothing this time.

(・∀・) Ok, so what are YOU suppose to be?

( ´ω`) I'm your grandpa, you brain-damaged short stack.

(・∀・) Since when have I been short stack?

(　･ิm･ิ) Short Change got rained on
(　･ิm･ิ) By his own .38.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Frankpa!

( ﾟ -ﾟ) Why are you doing Tom Waits now?

(　･ิm･ิ) It seemed appropriate, Suzy.

( ﾟ -ﾟ) Suzy?

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Wowie ZOWIE!

( ´ω`) Get the fuck out of my thread, you hungry freaks.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Creamcheese creamcheese creamcheese CREAMCHEESE!

(・-・) Mittens, the "I can haz creamcheeze"-shtick is so old that Grandpa first performed it in Salem's town square. The old cat was then promptly burned as a spawn of Satan.

( ﾟ -ﾟ) You are SO out of the loop.

( ・-・) Don't get confrontational, Mittens. It doesn't solve anything and only makes you look more like the idiot you actually are.

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,, ﾟ ヮﾟ)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))・-・) ow how ow typical ow
　　　　　☆

（・∀・ ） I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆ I'm not going to stop until you realize how dumb you are!
　　　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow dammit ow ow ow
　　　　　☆

（・∀・）Grandpa, when did Something Awful start becoming so sensitive, politically correct and "touchy-feely"?

( ´ω`) When Lowtax lost the fight to Uwe Boll.

( ・-・) I just visited Something Awful and thought I had come across some domain parker. The only thing worse is to look like 2ch.

( ´ω`) All sites look like domain parkers when you can't read.

(( )・∀・) Ha! Zing!

( ・o・) ...

( ・-・) You said you'd never say anything about that!

(　･ิ-･ิ) Lady, you deserved it.

(　･ิ-･ิ) I don't know what I saw in you.

( ・-・) Mom 'n' Dad made us get married. Family tradition.

　　　　　(＼　 ∩___∩
　　　　　　く ｀(:::ﾟ●ﾟ::) HYYYAAAAA 495get-jutsu!
　　　　　　　＼　 ｙと_）
　　　　　　　／　　　　＼
　　　　　　　し￣￣￣＼,)

( ´ω`) Congratulations!!!!

(・∀・) Yeah 495get! Way to go!

(　･ิ-･ิ) Awesome!

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) That was the best get I've ever seen!!

ω Junior, have you seen the rest of my face?

(・∀・) Yeah, it's right down here.

)`( ´

ω can I have it back?