( ´ω`) Friends, Romans, Elitists, lend me your DQN.

( ・-・) And I ruined it?

( ´ω`) Yep.

( ・-・) Sorry.

( ´ω`) Nah, I'm just shitting you. It sucked 900 different ways. Now it sucks 901 different ways.

( ・-・) Not 905 ways?

( ´ω`) Don't flatter yourself.

( 一一) vagina

( ・-・) Dentata

(・∀・) Grandpa, the thread appears to be approaching CRITICAL MASS. Should I break out the Mittens?

( ´ω`) No, we shall endure, just as you have endured your 40 hours of wanderings in the Desert of DQN.

(・∀・) By the Rivers of Babylon!

( ・-・) Faggotry!
( ・ω・) Tanasinn!
(　｀ハ´) Evil!
(・∀・) Youth!
( ´ω`) ! What?

（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）With your powers combined, I am Captain DQN!

( ・-・) CUT! Grandpa forgot his line again. You're all supposed to shout "GO DQN!", and DQN-kun, it's "By your powers".

( ´ω`) What's my line though?

(・∀・) And where's Mittens?

( ´ω`) And who put Beady Eyes in charge?

( ´ω`) Isn't he dead? I remember beheading him twice.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(巛ミ彡ミ彡ミ彡ミ彡ミ彡）ミ彡ミ彡）ミ彡)
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　,,从.ノ巛ミ　　　 彡ミ彡）ミ彡ミ彡ミ彡）ミ彡)''"
　　　　　　　　　　ごごごごごごご　　　　　　　 人ノﾞ　⌒ヽ　　　　　　　　　彡ミ彡）ミ彡）ミ彡)''"
　 ∧,,∧　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　,,..､;;:〜''"ﾞﾞ　　　　　　 ）　　从　　　　ミ彡ミ彡）ミ彡,,）
　(　´ω`）　　 ／　　　_,,..､;;:〜-:''"ﾞ⌒ﾞ　　　　　　　　　　彡　,,　　　　 ⌒ヽ　　　　　　彡"
　/　　 ｏ━ヽニ　　:ﾞ:ﾞ　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　'"ﾞ　　　　　　　　　 ミ彡）彡'
　しー-Ｊ　　　　＼`ﾞ⌒｀ﾞ"''〜-､:;;,_　　　　　　　　　　　　　　）　　　彡,,ノ彡〜''"　 ,,ミ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ⌒｀ﾞ"''〜-､:;;,,,　.,,..､,,. ,,彡
Nope. I'm already smoking.

( ・-・) I would have thought that you of all people would know that nobody in these threads stays dead.

( ´ω`) damn those dragonballs

( ・-・) hahahaha take your pills gra
( x-x)

( ・-・) I'd just like to warn everybody in this THREAD that we're expected to receive a high retardation front. Thank you.

( ´ω`) No Beady eyes. You are the retards.

( ・-・) I am n
( x-x)

( ´ω`) stare

( ・-・)
( x-x)

( ・-・) godda-
( x-x)

( ´ω`) Those hard resets suck, don't they? Maybe it's your video card.

( ・-・) this i-
( x-x)

( ・-・) is your f-
( x-x)

(・∀・) Maybe you should have taken your pills, Beady Eyes.

( ・-・) ault, you o-
( x-x)

( ´ω`) Ha ha ha pills. That's pretty funny, Junior.

(・∀・) Thanks, Grandpa!

(・∀・) I'm working on a routine involving fire pants, but I'm not sure where to go with it yet.

( ・-・) old fa-
( x-x)

( ・-・) rt WILL THIS NEV
( x-x)

( ・-・) ER END?!? Goddamn hi
( x-x)

( ・-・) gh retardation f
( x-x)

( ・-・) ront.
( x-x)

( ´ω`) Just stop trying to talk. It's irritating.

( x-x)

( ・-・)

( ・-・)

( ・-・) So not talki
( x-x)

( ・-・)

( ・-・)

( ・-・) oh this just SU
( x-x)

( ・-・) cks
( x-x)

　|　　that ticket to this thread was way over fucking priced
　＼
　　.￣￣∨￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　.　　∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　 ∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
.　 ＼　∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　 ∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　＼ ∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　 ＼　∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　　∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　 　　＼　∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　　　∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　 　　＼ ∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　　　 ∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　　 　 ＼ ∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　　　　∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　　　 　＼　∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　　　　　∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　　　　 　＼　∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　　　　　　∩（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　　　 　　　＼ ∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧＿∧
　　　＼　　 　　（（　ﾟ ∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）∀ﾟ ）
　　　.　＼　 　　 （つ　　 ）　 　）　　 ）　　） 　 ）　　）　　 ）　　 ）　　 ）　 つ
　　　.　　 ＼＿__（　⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l⌒l
　　　..　　　 |　　 （＿_）＿）__）＿）_）__）_）＿）_）＿）_）＿）__）＿）__）＿）_）＿）
　　　..　　　 |　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ |
　　　..　　　 |　|｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜|
　　　..　　　 |　|｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜|
　　　..　　　 |　|｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜|
　　　..　　　 |　|｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜|
　　　..　　 　|　|｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜|
　　　＼..　　|　|｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜|
　　　.　＼.　|　|｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜｜|
　　　..　　＼|　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ |
　　　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

( ・-・) Don't look at me, Grandpa is the one running this stupid gimmick into the depths of the earth.

( ´ω`) Don't go blaming your actions on me, beady eyes. You know what? That's it.

　　　 ∧__∧　 ∩
　　　（,,´ω`)彡☆
　　　　⊂彡☆))-・)
　　　　　☆

( ・-・) But my gimmick is to blame everyone else for me ruining everything I participate in!

( ・-・) But my gimmick is to blame everyone else for me ruining everything I participate in!

( ・-・) But my gimmick is that I suck and have no friends and am not funny!

( ´ω`) That's not a gimmick. That's just the horrible truth.

( ・-・)

( ・-・)

( ・-・) I hate y
( x-x)

（・∀・）Grandpa, why is the truth horrible?

( ´ω`) Not all truth is horrible, Junior.

( ´ω`) By the way, you've gotten fat.

( ・ω・) Wait.. isn't that what I do? Why do we create characters that are just like other fucking characters?

( ・-・) Because you're not unfunny enough to derail threads.

(( ・-・) I'm really unfunny. Nobody likes me. Clonepa has a more engaging personality than I do.

　　　　　　　　Listen to reason, beady eyes!
　　 　 ∧限∧　　　∵　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　　 （,, ´ω） 　 　..∴　bambambambam…　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　;:+,;;:,　∧＿'・.　；.*
　　ﾄ-く　 y/7__Lr○ｭ"＿ l＿ ＿__,.,;:''''""'';;;...,, 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　；.*　::;:';;.: ・-・)'∵` ;:　　thwip…
　ﾄ--l（__）r=tl[（(三三（(三（(=（;;'', 　　　　　 '',.:;,,,.　'"　　　　　　　　　　 　∴；：・"/ つ`;:*,::;:';;.　　　　　thwip…
　ﾋ[冊冊冊ﾂヽ￣￣!!￣;￣ll￣||'' :;:,..　　,...;:''" 　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　+;:"+；：( 　;;;; +;:"；：>>544
　　（＿ﾉ　ヽ＿）　　　　 　',._　 !　　' '";"'　　　"　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (,,/,,/

( ・-・) that's a lot of effort to say you dislike a collection of symbols on the internet

(( ・-・) Not only am I funny, but I try as hard as I can to suck the funny out of any situation that didn't originally involve me.

(・∀・) Grandpa, the solution is to pretend Beady Eyes doesn't exist. ITT, it's just you and me. I ask questions, you answer. Nothing more, nothing less.

( ´ω`) I think we've tried that before. Anyways, pile on the questions. We've only got a short time left in this trainwreck of a thread.

(・∀・) Grandpa, whatever happened to Needler Hall?

( ・-・) Grandpa, why is Junior such a fag?

( ´ω`) Needler Hall was torn down during the Senior Ditch Day riots of 2002, when the rabid leftist teachers tore the dormitory apart looking for their missing students. Their rage was caused by the fact that, while ditching, the Seniors temporarily had unrestricted access to information, and may have made their own decisions.

(・∀・) Wow. Grandpa, what was college like before the internet?

( ´ω`) We studied from books, Junior. You know what books are, don't you?

( ・-・) You missed my question.

(・∀・) Nonvolatile storage mediums. Everyone should have a book!

(・∀・) Grandpa, where do babies come from?

( ´ω`) The stork brings them to moms and dads who recently fucked, Junior.

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's the coolest thing you ever did?

( ・-・) Cramps was never cool.

( ´ω`) I once punched out a bear that was trying to put out my campfire, Junior.

(・∀・) Dude!

(・∀・) Grandpa, tell me about when you were in the war!

( ´ω`) Ah, yes. I was a tailgunner in the 987th Airborne. We were flying low and fast over Northumberland, being chased by Zeros and Shindens as we launched an all out attack on the NU alchemical factories. Turning lead into asbestos was a crime against God, Junior, and we were there to deliver Her wrath. I was shooting down waves of enemy planes, leaving a visible trail of spent shell casings pointing all the way back to our base in North Stygia.

( ・-・) ...

( ・-・) ...go on...

( ・ω・) Hey guys!

(・∀・) Grandpa, what are your views on global warming? Teacher says its really scary and we should feel guilty for destroying the Earth.

( ´ω`) It's nonsense. The worst thing that could happen is that they would start growing wine grapes in England again, and those chowderheads would find some way to work mutton into it.

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's mutton?

( ´ω`) Tenderized sheep brains & gonads.

( ・-・) I totally agree with you on that. Hooray for English swine!

(・∀・) Grandpa, why is the sky blue?

( ´ω`) It's God's favorite color. She told me so herself when we used to date.

( ・-・) PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

(・∀・) Grandpa, why does the earth grow cold when sunspot activity is low?

( ´ω`) Oh, that's an easy one. The earth is always being bombarded by cosmic rays from all directions in space. Experiments have shown that cosmic rays can increase cloud formation, raising the earth's albedo and causing more of the sun's warmth to reflect back into space.

( ´ω`) However, the sun's magnetic fields are strong enough to deflect some of them away from us. When the sun is especially active, very few get through, and the earth retains more heat. A magnetically active sun is covered with sunspots, while a magnetically quiet one has few or even no sunspots. So you see, Junior, sunspots drive a significant portion of the earth's warming and cooling cycles.

(・∀・) But teacher said CO2 drives climate change.

( ´ω`) Your teacher's an idiot, Junior. Just like Al Gore and Bonnie Rait.

( ・-・) yeah this thread has been hijacked by a bunch of goddamn manchildren

(・∀・) I like this thread a lot better now, Grandpa!

( ´ω`) So do I, Junior. So do I.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Me too! It's fun again.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) I'll go over there and just listen from now on. This is your thread, not mine.

( ´ω`) Such a nice young girl.

(・∀・) Grandpa, will the Kzinti ever conquer mankind?

( ´ω`) Unlikely, Junior. They always attack before they're ready.

( ・-・) I'll kill you for that, human!

(・∀・) Grandpa, who was "Kouyama Mitsuki-chan"?

( ´ω`) Just some fad. Her time came and went pretty quickly.

(・∀・) Do you like gladiator movies, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) Only the ones with Charlton Heston.

( ・-・) somebody has got far too much goddamn time on their hands

( ・-・) it's stupid as hell

( ・-・) but two can play at this game