( ´ω`) hello kids!
, - - ､
＜（ ､ ヽ ' ' ,-‐､
/⌒ ￣＼＼从/, | 刃
/ .ｲ l | ' ; | .|
/ ./ | | | ∴` | |
/ ./ | | .|/Wヽ | |＿∧
/ ./ | | |､' ` | | ｀ハ´）__
⊂､Ｊ （ i. !__） | ^ﾑ 〕
! !! | .|| | !! ' | |.i .|
: :: .| .| | | :: | |! |
) ） ) ） /￣｀ヽ | `‐´!
.| | | | ＼ "ﾍ､._ | ! :
| | | | ＼ l| |
.| |. | | | / | |
|＼__） |＼__) `' | |
! ! ! ! ! !! | |
: : : : : : : | |
| !
!__/
! ! !
: : :
＼ ☆
| ☆
(⌒ ⌒ヽ /
＼ （´⌒ ⌒ ⌒ヾ ／
（'⌒ ; ⌒ ::⌒ ）
（´ ） ::: ） ／
☆─ （´⌒;: ::⌒`） :; ）
（⌒:: :: ::⌒ ）
／ （ ゝ ヾ 丶 ソ ─
GOTTA GET SOME HELP FOR GRANDPA!
￣￣￣￣￣∨￣￣￣￣ (´´
∧∧ ） (´⌒(´
⊂（ﾟ∀ﾟ⊂⌒｀つ≡≡≡(´⌒;;;≡≡≡
￣￣ (´⌒(´⌒;;
MEANWHILE
,,..,,,, ...
./ ,' 3 `ヽｰっ
l ⊃ ⌒_つ
`'ｰ---‐'''''"
￣ ､ゞヾ'""''ｿ;μ, BATTLE MODE!
.ヾ ,' 3 彡
ﾐ ﾌﾞﾜｯ .ミ
彡 ﾐ
/ｿ,, , ,; ,;;:､ヾ`
(・∀・) Special effects!!!
( ))ω`) Huff... huff... give up yet?!
（｀ハx） NEVER!
／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| BATTLE MODE!!!!!!!!
＼ ＼
￣￣￣|／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
＼ ∧ ∧
( ´ω`∩
⊂/ ,ノ
￣ ￣ 「 _ |～ ト ￣ ￣ ￣
∪ ヽ l オ
/ ∪ ＼
／ : オ
/ || . ォ ＼
/ | : ォ ＼
/ .
| . ォ
| | : .
|: .
|| .
.
|
| | : .
. : .
| .:
￣ ､ゞヾ'""''ｿ;μ,
.ヾ ´ω` 彡 !!!
ﾐ ﾌﾞﾜｯ .ミ
彡 ﾐ
/ｿ,, , ,; ,;;:､ヾ`
（｀ハ´） Wh-what the hell is that?!
,一-、 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| l ￣ ヽ ＜ We have spotted them at last.
6-■■ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
ヽ´∀｀
／|Ｙ/＼
The thing is my POWER BOOSTER ATTAAAAAACK!!
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣∨￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ ‐=≡ ∧＿∧
/⌒! ‐=≡ （｀ハ´ ）
（_ ( ｸ ∧＿∧ ‐=≡（ ￣￣￣￣｀ヽ ヽ⌒ヽ
＼ ＼ （ ´ω` ） ､ヽ从 / ‐=≡ ￣￣￣￣ ＼ヾ ｲ |
‐ ＼_￣￣７ ｀⌒ヽ ; ． ‐=≡‐=≡; ： ）)) | |
= ￣￣| 八 ﾉﾉ′ . : , ‐=≡ ／ | |
. ＿ = | | .// W ヾ ‐=≡ ／ ／ ／し丿
. _ = .＿ ～ヽ|＿＿/ ｲ ‐=≡ ／ ／ ／
= （￣ （＿＿＿＿/Ｙ ‐=≡ ／ ／ ／
＿ = | )ー―‐（ 丿 ‐=≡ （￣ ／ ／
､ 、. | .| ＼っ ＼ ｀:ヽ ‐=≡ ￣(__／
( ヽ: ＿丿 ﾍ. ｀ ; ＼ ＼ ⌒/ ヽ
(´ ＼.从（＿＿＿) ／｀) (､へ(__⌒_)从人／ ;｀)
(・∀・) I don't understand what's going on for what reason! Must be a Hong Kong flick!
∧＿∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣
（ ´ω`） ＜ So here is the story kids;
（ ） ＼＿＿＿＿＿
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Darkpa is beaten by me again, but this attracted the attention of some government agents. The pretty girl who was supposed to marry sonny of course fell into my charms. Sonny is clueless of what is going on, even though he went to fetch some help. The furry things saved me by supplying super powers. otanoshimini!
>>271
(・∀・) If you killed grandpa and he kicked your ass, even though you were fa--
Σ(・Д・) TIME PARADOX!
（ ´ω`） Just live with it sonny.
Σ(・Д・) Wait, you're a girl?!
（・_・。） you couldn't tell by my hooters?!
(・_・。）
(o )( o)
) .(
( ♥ )
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣○￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
o
o
O
o
(・∀・) *Actually*, now that you mention it...（ ´ω`）Junior, do not sully this thread or Fiancee's reputation with your daydreams!
(・Д・;;) H-how did you see my thoughts?!
（ ´ω`） I have powers, Junior. Powers you can't even imagine. Now get me my tapioca.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how can I obtain those powers?
（ ´ω`）You know, whenever I ask you to bring me something you never do it. I'm tired and old, Junior, you can't expect me to get everything by myself.
(・∀・) Never mind that, I want to learn about your awesome powers!
wakaranai ... ( ´A`)
（ ´ω`） I have the power to kick your ass if you don't get me my goddamn tapioca, how's that?
￣ ､ゞヾ'""''ｿ;μ, BATTLE MODE!
.ヾ ,' 3 彡
ﾐ ﾌﾞﾜｯ .ミ
彡 ﾐ
/ｿ,, , ,; ,;;:､ヾ`
,一-、 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| l ￣ ヽ ＜ Put agents in all supermarkets. Key: TAPIOCA
6-■■ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
ヽ´∀｀
／|Ｙ/＼
＼＼＼
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ（#´ω`）I SAID TAPIOCA !
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
.'⌒⌒丶
′从 从） ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
ヽゝ。・_・ν ＜ Grandpa...
. （| |∀| |） ＼＿＿＿
/＿＿_ゝ
（＿）___）
/＼
/. ＼
/ / /. ＼
（￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣＼ ＼
￣￣（￣￣／／／／￣＼∧ ∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
￣（／／／／￣＼( ,,´ω`) ＜ I Kick your ass sonny.
（／（／／／￣（つ つ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
| / /.（／（／｜ ⌒!
し－－（／（（| し'
し'
POWAAAAAA PUNCHU!!!
∧＿∧, 三っ从∧､;・',‘
（#´ω｀）三つ;;)iT0ﾞ)_;∴ Aaaa TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA
（,,, =≡,三つ※；'⊃ TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA
ﾉ ﾉ〉 〉ミ⌒);;⊂;）～
（＿_）＿） ; ''(ノ￣
( ))∀・) Grandpa! You are so violent these days!
Grandpa! .. make me mother.. ( >_<)'
( ´ω`) I am the angle of Zero Hour!
(・∀・) Grandpa, um, may I have twenty dollars? I want to buy the new Star Wars DVD tomorrow.
( ´ω`) In my day, television was called BOOKS.
( ´ω`) Fuck Star Wars!
(・∀・) It reminds you of that time you ki--
＼＼＼
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ（#´ω`）NEVER BRING THAT UP!
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
（｀Д´） I'VE FUCKING HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT, GRANDPA!
＼＼＼
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ（X｀Д´）NOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED!
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）I'd like to see you try, you little brat!
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
∧＿∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
（ ｀ハ´） ＜ Good. Let your hate make you strong!
（ ） ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Grandpa, i like you ( *´_`)<3
∧＿∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
（ ｀ハ´） ＜ Good. Let your love make you deviant!
（ ） ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
(#´ω`) GAH!
＼＼＼
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ（#´ω`）Make like 4chan and ZERO HOUR, >>338
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ（#´ω`）I am Kurt Angle of ZERO HOUR!!!!!!!!!
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ( *´_`)<3 This is a rape Grandpa! Put your hands up!
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
( ´ω`) And that junior, is how I saved Japan from The Beatles!
(・∀・) Sugoi!
,.:::.⌒⌒:::::ヽ
（::::::::::::::::::::::::::::）
（::::::::::::::人:::::::::ﾉ How ya like my new do', Grandpa?
（:::: （(・∀・):ノ
￣/ つとl
しー-Ｊ
( ´ω`) Ah, that reminds me of the old days... man, the 60s never ended.
(・∀・) Grandpa, I once ended a psychology presentation by saying "I've learnt that PCP is more dangerous than running a sledgehammer through your head!". Is it true?
( ´ω`) You kids with your PCP and glue sniffing. So naive and so childish. Wait until score some black tar heroin and ride the horse.
(・∀・) But I thought you only did opium, Grandpa!
Grandpa, you buy viagra ? (´_`)V
( ´ω`) Why do you ask, Junior? Chinpo not doing its job?
Grandpa, you buy vagina?（・_・。）<3
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's the secret to graduating from high school?
( ´ω`) Stick to the Internet forums. So-called "real" friends will stab you in the back. You know those high school kids.
(・∀・) Grandpa, I'm selling candy bars for my marching band's trip to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Can I count on you to buy three cases?
(・∀・) Because I, um, already told the band director I sold that many.
( ´ω`) Sorry Junior, can't do it. Diabetes, you know.
( ;´ω`) Plus, chocolate gives me the shits.
( ´ω`)>======[] You lying whippersnapper! There are no liars in our family! Get out!
Grandpa, How old are you ? (*´_`)
(・∀・) Dear, I already asked that question.
(;・∀・) And I've been noticing you've been coming onto my Grandpa lately. Why?!
( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@ sirrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ wup
( ´ω`) It's the toys, Junior!
☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´ω`)(^_^。)：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´( )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
kiss
( °Д °)
☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´ω`)(^_^。)：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´( )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
kiss
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣○￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
o
o
O
o
（-_-。）ZzzZZzzzZZZzzz.....(・∀・) Oh, it was just a dream...
( ´ω`) Hey there Junior, have you seen my boxers?
(・∀・) Didn't they used to be over... there...
(・∀・) ...
(^_^。) What?
(*´ω`) Oh, uh, she has him I see, heh.
( °Д °)
( °Д °) ...
( ´ω`) Junior, are you all right?
( °Д °) ...
( ´ω`) Look, it's no what you may think it is.
( °Д °) ...
( ´ω`) Are you... are you going to be O.K.? Say something!
( °Д °) Oh, my God! I've gone BLIND!
(; ° Д ° ) LOVE IS OVER!
Too much happened while I was gone!
( °Ａ ° )it's horrible being blind, but maybe if I just accept it and move on, things will work out.
( °∀ ° )Grandpa, could you take me to the movies? I know can't see it anymore, but I thought I could at least listen to it, and you could tell me what's happening on the screen.
( °∀ ° )I hear "Pulp Fiction" is pretty good. It has Ving Rhames in it!
( ´ω｀)σ(・∀・) Do not keep stealing Grandpa's teeth
( ・ω・) < BEEP
( ・ω・) . . .
( ´ω｀) Who the hell are you?
( ・ω・) < I'm the illegitimate clone of ( ´ω｀) and (・∀・) !
( ´ω｀) Hmm, I don't seem to recall putting my ding-dong in Junior's baby hole.
( ・ω・) < You don't need to do that to make a clone, you know.
( °Ａ ° ) Clonepa, can you cure my blindness?
( ・ω・) < I'm not jesus, you know. But I can inform you that Grandpa and Fiancee are silently having sex as we speak.
☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´( )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
whisper whisper whisper whisper
Σ(; ° Д ° )
( °Д °) It sucks being blind, but alteast I get a seeing-eye dog!
／￣￣￣￣＼
／ ● ●､ ＿＿＿
|Y Y ＼ ／
| | | ▼ | ＜ ARF
| ＼／ ＿人.| ＼＿＿＿
| ＿＿＿ノ
＼ .／
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
( ・ω・) what the hell.
( ・ω・) < Seeing is like sex, it's overrated you know. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near Tannhäuser Gate. And for what? All those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain anyway.
( ´ω｀) Shut up and get back to mowing the kitchen.
( ・ω・) Ah, but Grandpa, don't you realize? I have all the questions and I have all the answers - in theory, I -AM- this thread, so you have no right t-
( ´ω`) GAH!
＼＼＼
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ（ ´ω`）Shut it, Clonepa, and MOW THE FUCKIN KITCHEN!
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
( ЭωЭ) < ouch... I can't see anymore now. Where is that kitchen anyway?
( ЭωЭ) < because, I could use an ice pack or two.
( °∀ ° ) Uh...
( ЭωЭ) Eh...
BUMP!
Oof! (ЭωЭ )#( °Д °) agh!
( °Д ° ) Hey, watch where you're going!
( ЭωЭ) What - no, YOU should watch where you're going!
( Эω●)< ...
one hour earlier
( ｀ハ´) 三三 ●
"⊂ノ
( ●ω●) < I saw that!
( ・ω・) < OK, I got better.
( ・ω・) < Where is everybody? Grandpa? Junior? I feel left out...
( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@ sirrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ wup
( ´ω`) I've got a blind Junior, a clone, an evil nemesis of mine, and a lovely Fiancee to boot.
( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@ sirrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ wup
( ´ω`) And a yoyo.
( °∀ ° ) Sure must be great to have everything you could ask for, eh Grandpa?
( -Д -) Me on the other hand..
( ・ω・) < Is that tomato sauce on that yoyo? ...or...
( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#( °Д °) AGH!
(・∀・) Damnit Grandpa, stop th- hey, I can see again!
( ´ω`) Well, it was getting damn boring hearing you bitch about it.
(^_^。)
(_^。 )
(^。 )
( )
( ｀)
( ｀ハ）
(｀ハ´）*!!! !!!*
( °Д °) !!
( ´ω`) !!
( ・ω・) !!
>>392
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) See what I did there? Deus Ex Machina!
( ・ω・) < Coincidence! He happened to get better at the moment you hit him, that's all.
( ・ω・) < Now please hit me too...
COMEDY━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━GOLD !!
(・∀・) More like DQN Ex Machina am I rite?
( ´ω`) < nurupo
(・∀・) Granpda, if it's true that "Where there's a will, there's a way;" does that mean if there's a way, there is a will?
>>398
(・∀・) GA!
>>399
( ´ω`) no because some people are lazy
( ∀ω∀) Hey hey, look at me, who am I?
( ´ω`) Turn A Turn, Turn A Turn, Turn AAAaaaaaa koffkoff hack
(・∀・) Grandpa, the thread is becoming normal again! What should we do?
( ・ω・) < Grandpa is burned out.
( ・ω・) < Junior, it's time for you to take over the business!
( ´ω`) >>405 is part of today's youth with a depressingly short attention span. "It's time!" Bah. Now, let's hear some more questions!
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's the best way to save money for your old age? I tried burying my allowance in the backyard...
( ;・A・) ...but I forgot where I buried it.
( ´ω`) Buy gold and coat it with tungsten. They have the same density, everyone will be fooled. Everybody's doing it: http://www.theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Samples/074.1/index.s12.html
(｀ハ´） H-Hey! Did you forget about me?!
(・Д・;) Grandpa, did you know that Darkpa was your fiancee?!
( ・ω・) I should have really seen this coming.
( ´ω`) I did find it odd that felt a penis while groping/snogging.
(｀ハ´）Foolish Grandpa, ignorant Junior, and absent-minded Clonepa! I'm Darkpa III, self-claimed master of disguise! I'll always come back bigger and stronger and--
(｀ハ´)<(・∀・ ) prod
( ｀ハ´）(・∀・) Darkpa, though all that ass-kicking that went on recently between you and Grandpa was cool and stuff, we don't need another couple dozen scenes of action sequences. Not yet, anyway. Return in like, >>600+ or so, or start asking Grandpa questions.
(｀ハ´）... Questions, huh. Okay, I got one.
(｀ハ´）Grandpa, how do I get laid without crossdressing?
( ´ω`) Darkpa, my foul nemesis, you should be yourself at all times. Let people know who you really are and they'll accept you. Happiness can only follow then.
( ´ω`) In the meantime, stay away from me and Junior, you transvestite freak.
(・∀・) Granpa, why is an elaborate story forming in this thread?
( ´ω`) Quite, son. You're ruining the mood.
(・∀・) Grandpa, do you believe in global warming? Because it's really hot for November!
( ´ω`) I could make a really crass joke about how ladies' breasts are "globes" and wanting to warm up to them, but I want do it, Junior. No, sir! Don't even try to goad me into it!
( ´ω`) Ahem... that should be "won't" not "want" in >>414
( ´ω`) I'm getting too old for this....
(・∀・) Do IT! Do IT! Do IT! Do IT!
(・∀・) Grandpa, I was thinking earlier how we're kind of like a Comedy Duo now, and that has a long and admirable tradition!
(・∀・) Like, in recent times it's been people from Saturday Night Live. For example, Chris Farley & David Spade and John Belushi & Dan Akroyd. Jerry Lewis & Dean Martin are an even earlier example.
(・∀・) If you go back to the golden age of cinema, it was people like Abbot & Costello and Laurel & Hardy. Not to mention the many acts that were alive during the days of Vaudeville.
(・∀・) Even Japan has a Comedy Duo tradition straight from the rowdy streets of Osaka! Where one person, the straight man, sets up a joke by asking a very foolish question. That would be me, I guess. Ha ha! And the guy who has the answer, that would be you, Grandpa, would deliver a punchline and then hit... the... other... guy....
(・A・) Uh-oh. Maybe I said too much?
( ´ω`) Yes, I studied the 'manzai' comedy style when I was younger.
( ´ω`) ahem
_ ∩
( ´ω`)彡 ☆ NANDEYANEN!
⊂彡 ☆ ( `Д´)
( ´ω`) Said too much stupid! SMACK
( ・ω・) Yeah, lets all get Junior!
⊂彡☆))Д´)
( ｀ハ´) Kill the little one!
⊂彡☆))∀;)
( ・∀・) Yeah, beat him up!
⊂彡☆))∀;)
(;・∀・) Wait, wha-
⊂彡
( ・ω・) < damn those flies
⊂彡
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's your favorite manga?
( ´ω`) It's been a while since I've read any manga and I've forgotten the title, but the one I liked the most was a story about young, high school-age characters having to deal with zany/outrageous/unusual/comedic cirumstances who, at first, are at odds with each other which just masks their true feelings of romantic love for each other.
( ´ω`) You know which one I'm talking about, Junior?
(・∀・) Scooby Doo?
( ｀ハ´) That doesn't have girls with extremely short skirts and sexy faces.
(・∀・) I stopped reading a while ago. I'd like to catch up, but I think it's too much work.
( ´ω`) You're gonna be serving up fries for a living with that attitude, Junior!
( ・ω・) < Do you want flies with that?
つ彡
(・∀・) Don't worry, Grandpa. The job I have isn't in some low-rent fast foob place. I work with an upscale steakhouse chain in their advertising department.
∩;;;∩
（Ｙ;;;;;;;;;;ヽノ)
i;;;;;;;;;;ﾟ;;;ﾟヽ
〟/;;;;;;＼;;;;'⌒)
)|;;;;;;;;(・∀・） < There's no BULL about our steak!
ι|;;;;;;;つ ;;;/つ
ヽ..;;;;;;;;/
U"U
( ´ω`) Hm, I remember the last time I went to a steakhouse...
(;´ω`) Why, I think I recall that being the first time meeting your Grandma...
(・∀・) Grandpa, Tell us more about when you met grandma! When did you have mom?
( ´ω`) I fucking told you about 4 different versions of this story on these threads already. Go read the thread, sonny.
(・∀・) I don't think any of those are the truth, Grandpa! I THINK YOU'RE SHITTIN' ME!
( ´ω`) I can see you are getting itchy again. Want me to scratch, sonny?
(・∀・) ENDLESS LOOOOPPP
|┃三 Slam!
|┃ ＠＠＠
|┃ ≡ ＠#、＠
＿＿__.|ミ＼＿＿（ ﾉ`） Honey！Which lies have you
|┃=＿＿||ヽ ^ /|＼ been telling them about me?!
(;´ω( ・∀・) Grandpa, why are you hiding behind me? It's just grandma!
( ・∀・) Grandpa, she doesn't have 9 tails like you said before.
( ・∀・) She has...lesseee....8 + 1/5 tails. What's up with THAT?
( ´ω`) Shut up, damnit!
( ・×・)
( ・ω・) I've been waiting for you...a messenger from the Relatives.
(・∀・) So you're the grandpa around here?
( ・ω・) No, not just here. I'm the grandpa to surpass Great Grandpa himself: Clonepa!
( ´ω`) No! That is not Clonepa!
( `・ω・´) Brother, I'm a whole different game from Darkpa! HRRRRR!!
( `・ω・´) The world needs only one Great Grandpa!
( ｀ハ´) Don't forget me!!
|┃三 Slam! Slam! Slam!
|┃ ＠＠＠
|┃ ≡ ＠#、＠
＿＿__.|ミ＼＿＿（ ﾉ`） Honey！Why did you let all
|┃=＿＿||ヽ ^ /|＼ of these people in the house?!
(・∀・) So Grandpa! You want that wierd looking furry thing to help you fight?
( ;´ω`) Damn, I need a drink!
|┃三 Slam! Slam! Slam!
|┃ ＠＠＠
|┃ ≡ ＠#、＠
＿＿__.|ミ＼＿＿（ ﾉ`） Honey！Why did you let all
|┃=＿＿||ヽ ^ /|＼ of these DQN in the house?!
( ´ω`) I o-only had Junior in here to answer his questions! I have no idea where these other DQN came from!
(・∀・) Grandpa, what happen to the Edmund Fitzgerald?
( ´ω`) The captain got blitzed, the first mate was taking a shit, and the damn thing ran into some rocks and spilt oil everywhere.
( ´ω`) Wait... that what the Exxon Valdez.
---------
( ´ω`)
| |
| | squirt
ω===D ---- -- (・∀・) Grandpa, today was Veteran's Day!
(・∀・) What was fighting in the war like?
( ´ω`) It was like club med, but only with bullets
(・∀・) Grandpa, you really have to admit it. You are losing popularity.
( ´ω`) My Q-rating slipped below Ricky Martin, but I'm still higher than Bronson Pinchot. I blame marketing.
(・∀・) Grandpa, I'm going on a school field trip to see the Amish people in Pennsylvania or some such crap. Anyway, I'll be gone for a few days.
(・∀・) But don't despair! I have constructed a replacement for while I'm gone. He will ask questiona of youthful innocence and enthusiasm just as I do to keep you from feeling lonely. I call him... The J-bot Mk.1 (patent pending)!
|・＿・| GREETINGS-PATRIARCHAL-UNIT. INTERROGATIVE-PROGAM-COMMENCING....
|・＿・| BEGIN QUERY: "Grandpa, why does your bedsheets smell so much like tobacco and Ben-Gay?" END QUERY.
(;;´ω`) A J-bot? But I've never been so good with machinery..
click
( ´ω`)☞|・＿・| What's this do?
., ＼
‐-;-.,_ "''=;- .,_＼ ＼ ＼
"‐ニ‐-＞ "`"'-' " ＼"
＿＿＿＿＿＿二) -ヽ''
￣"'''─-､ "''＼
＿＿ ＿＿＿-─ ⊂⌒ヽ (⌒⊃ヽ,
￣￣￣￣ 三 ＼ ＼ ／⌒ヽ ／ ／ ヽ
――＝ ⊂二二二 |・＿・|二二⊃ | BEGIN QUERY: "BU-N." END QUERY.
―― ＼ ＼_∩_／ ／ / |
＿＿＿＿＿ （ (::)(::) ） !
￣￣￣￣ ￣￣￣￣ヾ､ _､ヽ＿,*､＿ノ |/
ヾ./ //
､ｰ`､-､ヾ､､, ､, /i／
/／ ./／／ /
/ ／ ／ ／
( ´ω`) Ah, so realistic -- just like the real thing!
(・∀・) Grandpa, whats the longest time you have sex, and with who ?
|・＿・| …
|・＿・| …
|・＿・| BEEP
( ´ω`) I though you were gone on a field trip sonny. Are you back already? My sense of time is diminishing it seems.
|・＿・| I-SHALL-ACCOMPANY-HIM-TO-THE-BUS
(・∀・) I'm the "other" sonny, did you forget about me ?
(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)
( ´ω`) (・∀・ )
(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)
Welcome back, Mr. Grandpa..We missed you.
Like what I've done with the place?
|・＿・| LET-US-TRAVEL-TO-THE-BUS
(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)
All aboard the man train, choo choo~
|・＿・| ERROR: TRAIN NOT FOUND. NO "MAN" TRAIN IS SCHEDULED FOR THIS DATE.
( ´ω`) Dang these contraptions.
(;・Д・) Wha-what are all these other juniors doing here?! I leave to mock the Amish and this happens?!
|・＿・| STAND-NEXT-TO-THESE-STAIRS
(;・Д・) Why next to the sta- AUGH! WHY DID YOU PUSH ME DOWN THEM?!
|・＿・| TO-PROTECT-YOU-FROM-THE-HORRIBLE-SECRET-OF-SPACE
|・＿・|
( ´ω`) Well, as long as I'm here, maybe I'll ask a few questions myself.
( ´ω`) J-bot, I want to try this 'Internet' thing I keep hearing about...
but I'm kind of worried.. How can I keep my megahurtz from being stoeled?
I'm told that sort of thing happens all the time!|・＿・| ELIZA:-PERHAPS-YOU-DON'T-WANT-TO-KEEP-YOUR-MEGAHURTZ-FROM-BEING-STOELED?
( ´ω`) He read my mind...I'm going to have to kill him later..
!(´ω` ) But then he could read these thoughts too! Shit!
|・＿・| I-AM-SCARED-DAVE-WILL-I-DREAM?
|・＿・| NEED-RECHARGE
|・＿・| NEE……D……RE…CHAR…GE………
|・＿・| NEEEEEeeeeee…………………d……………………………………
|-＿-| ……=Bzkt!=
( ´ω`)Farewell, dear J-bot. May you be reborn as a 1970 Cadillac
Deville in your next life.(・∀・) Poor J-bot.... My creation did't last the weekend. Oh, well.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why is Las Vegas such a glitzy and classy city? I mean, not even New York City or Los Angeles has All-You=Can-Eat Pancake bars or half as many retina-burning neon signs.
( ´ω`) I remember this one time I went to Vegas and I slipped on some of those porn cards that were on the sidewalk.
(・∀・) That happened to me too, Grandpa! Except I landed on something soft. I think it was a dead hooker.
( ´ω`) Actually, that was your sister.
(・∀・) Oh! I did think she looked moe!
( ´ω`) At least when I walked past her, she was pretty mauled all right.
(・∀・) anyone said 萌え～？
(・∀・) Yes.
( ´ω`) Junior, you have to get to my age before you earn the right to answer your own questions.
(・∀・) Grandpa, I saw a cat in a box the other day. Who was it?
_∧ ∧＿＿
／( ´ω`) ／＼
／|￣ Ｕ Ｕ￣|＼／ That was me, son...
| Hii .|／
￣￣￣￣
(・∀・) Grandpa, criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so I must wear a disguise that will strike terror into their hearts! I must be a creature of the night, like a... a....
(・∀・) Um, help me out, Grandpa!
|T|
(´ω`)
Hat man?
(・∀・) You fail it, grandpa.
(・∀・) Grandpa, I will now recite John Keats masterful poem "Ode to a Grecian Urn."
(・∀・) Ahem!
(・∀・) "Thou still unravish’d bride of quietness,
Thou foster-child of silence and slow time,
Sylvan historian, who canst thus express
A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What leaf-fring’d legend haunts about thy shape
Of deities or mortals, or of both,
In Tempe or the dales of Arcady? What men or gods are these? What maidens loth?
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?
What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy(・∀・) "Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;
Not to the sensual ear, but, more endeared,
Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:
Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal-- yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair!
(・∀・) "Ah, happy, happy boughs! that cannot shed
Your leaves, nor ever bid the Spring adieu;
And, happy melodist, unwearied,
For ever piping songs for ever new;
More happy love! more happy, happy love!
For ever warm and still to be enjoy’d,
For ever panting, and for ever young; All breathing human passion far above,
That leaves a heart high-sorrowful and cloy’d,
A burning forehead, and a parching tongue.(・∀・) "Who are these coming to the sacrifice?
To what green altar, O mysterious priest,
Lead’st thou that heifer lowing at the skies,
And all her silken flanks with garlands dressed?
What little town by river or sea shore,
Or mountain-built with peaceful citadel,
Is emptied of this folk, this pious morn? And, little town, thy streets for evermore
Will silent be; and not a soul to tell
Why thou art desolate, can e’er return.(・∀・) "O Attic shape! Fair attitude! with brede
Of marble men and maidens overwrought,
With forest branches and the trodden weed;
Thou, silent form, dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral!
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say’st,
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,-- that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'"(・∀・) I thought I'd class things up a bit here.
(´ω`) tl;dr
(・ω・) < Hey, I think I know that poem:
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the mome raths outgrabe.
(・ω・) < Well, same gibberish anyway.
(´ω`) (ry
(｀ハ´）I got a question, Gramps.
(｀ハ´) I got a bad case of a ACHOO...cold. What kinda things should I do to get better?
＼m／(・∀・)＼m／ Grandpa, whats your favorite metal band?
(・∀・) p.s. - 1000/2GET.
( ´ω`) Darkpa, I suggest dying. It might sound crazy, but it's an absolute cure-all!
( ´ω`) I like Under17, Junior. moe
(・∀・) That's not metal in the least, you old fogey!
(・∀・) Grandpa, who'd win in a fight: you or Vin Diesel?
( ´ω`) Even I have to succumb to the awesomeness that is Mr. Diesel.
(・∀・) Grandpa, be you a rich man or a little street sweeper, sooner or later you must dance with the Reaper!
(・∀・) Station!
( ´ω`) needs more cowbell.
(・∀・) She's choppin' broccoli... SHE'S CHOPPING BROCCOLI~
( ´ω`) SKYYYYYYYYYYROCKETS IN FLIGHT, AFTERNOON DELIIIIIIIIIGHT
(・ω・) o O ( ...when did this become karaoke night?... )
(・∀・) Grandpa, did you ever kill the jabberwalkie?
( ´ω`) Why yes, Junior. In fact, it's all coming back to me now... my days as a DQN dragonslayer...
(・∀・) Dragonslayer?! Sugoi sugoi, tell me more Grandpa!
( ´ω`) Whan that Sakura with her shoures soote, the droughte of fun hath perced to the roote, and bathed every vayn in such licour, of wich virtu yellow'ed is the flour, when a bad haeleth came to DQN, and rampagt havoc on the fen, then cometh Grandpa with his OHAYOU BEEM, and approached the scoundrel on a horse.
"I fear ye not," he said, of course.
So Grandpa drew out his big svon, and slew the contemptous villain anon!
(・ω・;) o O ( King James' Dragonslayer?! )
(・∀・) tl;dr
(・∀・) Hey Grandpa, how much hentai do you have? I've been raking up a few gigabytes recently, just for the heck of it, yknow?
( ´ω`) ...
Why do today's youngsters download GIGABYTES of pictures of weirdos? In my day, we had Hard Gay and were happy with it.
(・∀・) Grandpa, do you have any artistic talent?
( ´ω`) Are you joking? I made the Mona Lisa, but Da Vinci smudged my name off the painting!
(;´ω`) He did, however, make most of The Last Supper - I don't care much for Jesus. I once wiped my ass with the painting, though - that's where most of the brown parts of the painting are. Guess that's why I didn't kill him. Equivalent trade, you know.
(・∀・) Grandpa, I done heard tales of a mighty catfish in Gobbler's Lake called "General Lee" that can swallow a man whole, boat and all. And no man has ever caught him!
( ´ω`) In his house at Gobbler's Lake, dead General Lee waits dreaming...
(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think that we will ever get to 1000 again?
( ´ω`) As long as there are idiots like you with dumb questions, my boy.
( ｀ハ´) soon, I will have my revenge. Yes, my pretties, soon.
evil cackle
(・∀・)..... Grandpa, i wonder, just how old are you?
(・∀・) You must have been through so much with all the samurais the hiroshima incident and the landing on the moon. Not to mention the holocaust and the second impact!
（ ´ハ`）You buy now!
(・ハ・) Wha... what's happening, Grandpa?
(・Д・) WHAT THE!!!
＿,. -──=ﾆヽ、
/ﾚ'´ ｀ヽ、
//● / , ,､ ヽ ヽヽ ﾄ、
/7Ｏ ｊ_ﾉ_/ハHl､_j l lN
〈７ｲ ´|/l/ ｀ﾍﾉ} jrく)j
r‐ヶﾊl ｃ⌒r─ｫ⌒ｃ,ﾊヽ〉
Y//,ﾊ>､j＞ｌ､_ノ.イﾚ1l ﾚ′
＼l l//｀ ｀￣´ ｊ ｌ ﾚ'
_＞′r｡~｡ヽ ﾚ'´
(__ゝ、<ゞﾆｱ< |
＼｀＾＾´ l
｀ｰｒ-､ノ
し′
(Д) MY EYES!!!!!!!!
《《《《《
( ℃゜_ ) BWAHAHAHA!!!! I, DAG ÆGREN, HAVE REMOVED YOUR EYES WITH WAKABAMARK!!!
(・ω・) o O ( They're breaking out with the nonsense again, maybe it's about time for me to make my move... )
(・ω・) o O ( No... not just ye-- )
|・＿・|ﾉ―――@ (●ω・;) ...................
(・∀・) Grandpa, will MSN Otoko find true love?
( ´ω`) Yes, sunny.
(・∀・) Grandpa?
( ´ω`) Just browsing other threads sonny... DQN has never had this many cool threads.
(=(・∀・) Ahem. Most esteemed Grandfather, I have need for your generous wisdom for my most urgent question.
(=(・∀・) Darkpa, your incredibly dashing rival, is all alone on Thanksgiving this year. Perhaps we should invite him? I think he would be too proud to join us, but it would only be the polite thing to do.
(=(・∀・) Ahhh... Ahh...
( ｀ハ´) CHOOO! 三三 =(・∀・)
( ｀ハ´)
"⊂ノ=(・∀・)
( ´ω`) Cool mask, Darkpa. Not. You really thought you could fool me eh?
( ´ω`) But, Darkpa, Thanksgiving is all about the pilgrims and the indians and how they shared a feast together back in the day (but I wouldn't really know - I attended the party but was severely drunk with moe). I'd be delighted if you attended Thanksgiving with me, Junior, Clonepa, and and J-bot. Of course, you'll have to be willing to contribute to the feast just as much as the other members. Having said that, I'd like to be the first...
＼＼＼
(⌒＼ ∧＿∧
＼ ヽヽ（ ´ω`）...to offer you an appetizer, BITCH!
(mJ ⌒＼
ﾉ ∩ / ／
（ | .|∧＿∧
／＼丿 | （ ）
(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ
(;・Д・) Grandpa, calm down! We haven't even passed >>550 yet!
（ ´ω`）It would be my second.
(・∀・) Your second what, Grandpa?
(・∀・) "Time is such a wheel that no man can stand upon it long.
And it always, in the end, comes back around to where it began."(・∀・) I read that in a book, once.
（ ´ω`）You? Read books? You're shitting me.
(・∀・) Actually, grandpa, I rather enjoy it.
（ ´ω`）Well sonny if you are so wise, do something to repopulate this thread
（ ´ω`）Because I'm the only one posting here for a while.
(・∀・) Hey everyone, I hear they're giving out free chicken and watermelon over at "( ´ω) Grandpa (v2.0)"! Yes, that's "( ´ω) Grandpa (v2.0)"!
(・∀・) .......Grandpa, what did I do to your face?!
(・∀・) Grandpa, don't you think I just don't have anything else to ask?
（ ´ω`）If you stop asking questions, I will die.
（ ´ω`）I must live forever...Give me questions, Junior. NOW.
( ｀ハ´) (So that is where he gets his strength...perhaps I should create a Darkpa thread and have Junior start asking me questions...)
(・∀・) Well, Grandpa, I have a few suggestions.
(・∀・) Perhaps someone should create a website that you can enter in any question and Grandpa will answer! Or something of that sort - like a mIRC bot or AIM bot or something. You could use questions previously answered, or new ones too.
(・∀・) Or, Squeeks should archive the Grandpa threads and immortalize them on this website. We are sort of mascots, yknow!
（ ´ω`）Not until the comedy starts. Someone needs to stop the LAZY and make with the ASCII ART if you know what I mean.
（ ´ω`） You can't replace me with a machine!
(・∀・) Oh, shut up Grandpa! Today's thanksgiving. Let's eat and grow fat!
（ ´ω`) What was that, Junior? I'm busy digesting.
( ・∀・ ) I feel a bit heavy..
( ・∀・ ) Oh well, its nothing!
（ ´ω`) Dessert goes in a different stomach, after all! Haha!
(・∀・) So you don't have to exercise to burn the fat Grandpa?
(・∀・) I bet his muscles have disappeared.
Not like the old days sparrring with Bruce Lee, huh?
（ ´ω`) What are you talking about, Junior? Bruce Lee could kick your ass from beyond the grave if he wanted.
(・∀・) Kind of embarassing to die from a headache-relief pill, don't you think?
（ ´ω`) I have lived and died. So?
(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think the Japanese were as offended by Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls as I was by her solo career?
∧＿∧
（ ´ω`）This is how I felt about the manner.
/⌒ ヽ
/ / ﾉヽ ＿ー￣＿￣）', ・ ∴.' ， ．. ∧＿∧ ∴.'.' ， ．
( /ヽ | ） --＿- ― ＝￣ ￣`:, .∴ ' ((( #)｀ハ´) .∴ '
＼ / _, -''￣ ＝ ＿＿――＝', ・,' .ｒ⌒> _／ ／ ・,' , ・,‘
（ _~"" -- ＿-― ￣＝＿ )":" .' | ｙ'⌒ ⌒i .' . ’
| /,,, ＿― ￣＿＝＿ ` )),∴. ). | ／ ノ ｜ ∴.'∴.'
| / / ―＝ ＿ )￣＝＿) ＿), ー' ／´ヾ_ﾉ
( ) ) ＿ ＿ )＝ ＿) ,.／ , ノ '
| | / ＝ ＿) ／ ／ ／ , ・,‘
| | |. ／ ／ ,' , ・,‘
/ |＼ ＼ ／ ／| |
∠／ ￣ !､＿／ / ）
|_／
(・∀・) Ouch!
(・∀・) Grandpa, were you in the war?
（ ´ω`) I'm not your stereotypical Grandpa. I wasn't in just -one- war, I was in every war out there to date, even some that weren't historically recorded. How did I get through them all with maybe one or two flesh wounds?
()二))
``ヽ
＿＿＿＿＿;==ﾆlﾆﾆﾆﾆﾆ(),,, ;;'''''"´´´"""''''''::;:,,,
'＝＝＝ #[ﾛﾆ]]￣￣￣|￣￣￣￣￣￣||二二二二二二二 ,;;;;;´´"''' -
`ー . ＿＿ _／ Ｏ;:ﾆﾆ()￣￣￣￣￣ ´''''::::::;;;;::::'''''''''´´´
.!∧∧|」（◎）ヽ-ー'
!( ´ω`) :::| It was this baby. Let me show you
|(| | ,,,,,, :::| some of its awesome power.
～| |＿＿＿:::| ,,,
[二]二二二二 し｀Ｊ|＿＿|二二二二二二二[二]
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
∧＿∧
（ハ´； ）
⊂ ∧ つ
. -＝≡●て ヽ
（＿_ﾉw （＿）
(・∀・) Do you ever wish for the days before the endless September, Grandpa? I know you were there, I saw the old usenet postings you made in alt.usenet.kooks.
( ´ω`) Junior, you need to find a better news source than Green Day albums.
(・∀・) Grandpa, its snowing! Come outside and lets play!
( ´ω`) Ouch, my back...
(・∀・) ...Grandpa, when's the last time you got off your ass and did something?
( ´ω`) when I fucked your mother
( ´ω`)ノ凸
( ｀ハ´)ノ凸
(・Д・) Wh, what?!
( ´ω`) Just forgot my pills today, thats all.
(・∀・) Is that why you were holding an ink bottle just now?
( ・ω・)ノ凸 < Hey I have one too! But what is it?
( ・ω・)ノ凹 < Oh?
(・∀・) Those're Legos, Clonepa. And they're mine, so stop playing with them!
(・∀・) Grandpa, I heard you were going to star in Metal Gear Solid 4 as Solid Snake. Is this true?
( ´ω`) I'm working on it with Koijma himself, Junior. The eyepatch itches, though.
( ・ω・) David Hayter is my hero.
(・∀・) Grandpa, who is the better hero? You or David Hayter?
( ´ω`) Well, he also voices Sephiroth...
(・∀・) Grandpa, why should I copy-paste my face before talking to you?
(・∀・) Grandpa, do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield?
(・∀・) Grandpa, what do you think of the IRS?
( ´ω`) One at a time, Junior! I'm too old to multitask like you can nowadays.
( ´ω`) I severed my ties with Anonymous long ago. Anyhow, I won't answer questions if I don't know who's asking them. Just don't fight the system...or I'll fight you.
( ´ω`) Yeah...I do. I think at any time, any place... people can fall in love with each other. But... if you love someone, you have to be able to... er... Line?
( ´ω`) tl;dring the last question but I give you a thumbs up for the awesome timestamp.
( ´ω`)b
(・∀・) Granpa, is W.T. Snacks really gone?
( ´ω`) W.T. Snacks will be back. For he WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR
( ´ω`) Maybe you should know that he never existed in the first place, Junior. You mother only created him to threaten you so that you would finish your meal and go to bed.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why are our timestamps set at 1993?
( ´ω`) Junior, the month is much more important than the year.
(・∀・) Grandma says its the week that matters!
( ´ω`) Grandma isn't that good with numbers, I must actually remind her of your birthday every year you know.
(・Д・) I have a birthday?!
(・∀・) 600GET
(・∀・) Grandpa! Is it true you were born in 1874? Wiki says so!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandpa
( ´ω`) Kiddo, I've already told you that Wikipedia isn't the best--well, a few cans short of a six-pack, yknow.
( ´ω`) Anyway, you'll never find true background data about me on the internet. I've hired several of the world's best hackers to destroy all information pertaining to me, my ancestors, and anyone related to me.
(;´ω`) You see, I've done some pretty wild stuff in the past that had to be kept in secret.
>>602 (・∀・) Pretty wild stuff? You cheated on Grandma?
( ｀ハ´）Ha! Darkpa III returns, as was foretold in >>410!
( ｀ハ´）Now, Grandpa, where were we?
(・∀・) Not now, Darkpa III! Grandpa was about to spill the beans on his dark and mysterious past! Return in like, >>700+ or so.
( ｀ハ´）His past? He was the first hikkikomori, living in a hut made of dry leaves, using a computer made of twigs! Ha ha.. ha...
>http://www.google.com.tr/search?q=grandpa
>Results 1 - 10 of about 5,930,000 for grandpa [definition]. (0.28 seconds)
(・∀・) Shit grandpa, what the hell did you do??
( ´ω`) Well sonny, I smoke pot. A lot of it. I grow it myself too.
(・∀・) Shit grandpa, you are the only one writing here.
(・Д・;）Don't die on me, Grandpa!
( ´ω`) Anyway, about my past...
( ´ω`) I was a young man, my parents had abandoned me. Fuck them. I didn't need them nor did I need anyone. I got in a lot of trouble...
( ´ω`) It was then I met Darkpa, but back then I called him Vicious. Vicious was always one to run into trouble and we'd always get into adventures and whatnot. We were both the little rascals.
( ｀ハ´）Remember that one time I set that chicks' mailbox on fire?
( ´ω`) Yeah, that was some good times.
(;´ω`) Wait, that was my first girlfriend's mailbox. She was nice. Ass.
( ｀ハ´）Haha.
( ´ω`) Anywho, yes Junior, indeed, me and Vicious used to hang out together. We both, however, had extremely different point of views on life. In the dark, rainy night, countless years ago, Vicious and I had our first real fight...
FLASHBACK FROM NOW ON
( ・ハ・）*Come on young Grandpa, I can kick your ass*
( ・∀・) young grandpa I'd like to see you try, vicious! have at you!!
*素晴らしいチンチンもの
金玉の毛ある
その音はサルボボ
いいえ！忍者がいます
Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する*
──
─────── ― - --
─── /⌒ヽ ────────
￣￣ / ,ﾍ ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ , ” ' ‐ ,
￣￣ i .i ＼ （ ・∀・ヽ, ___,, __ ＿ ,, - _―" ’. ' ・, ’・ ∧＿∧
── ヽ勿 ヽ,__＾ j i～"" ＿ ― ＿: i ∴”_ ∵, ( )
＿＿＿＿＿＿ ヽ,, / / __,,, -- "" ─ "ー ・, ； ; - 、・ r=-,/⌒ ～ヽ
─────── ヽﾉ ﾉ,イ ─── ― - i ｙ ﾉ' ﾉi j |
─────── / /,. ヽ, ── i,,___ノ /／
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 丿 ﾉ ヽ,__,ﾉ ＿＿＿ ＿ _ _ ,' ゝi
j i ／ y ノ
＿＿＿＿＿ 巛i～ ＿＿＿＿ ＿ / ／～／
i < /
─────── .
*大切なもの protect my balls
僕が悪い so let's fighting*
＿ ＿ .' ， ．. ∧＿∧
!:＼i:＼ｌ_ - ― ＝￣ ￣`:, .∴ ' （ ）
, -''￣ ＿＿――＝', ・,‘ ｒ⌒> _／ ／
／ -― ￣￣ ￣"'" . ’ | ｙ'⌒ ⌒i
/ ノ | ／ ノ ｜
/ , ｲ ） , ー' ／´ヾ_ﾉ
/ _, ＼ ／ , ノ
| / ＼ `､ ／ ／ ／
ｊ / ヽ | ／ ／ ,'
／ ノ ｛ | ／ ／| |
／ ／ | （_ !､＿／ / 〉
､＿〉 ー‐‐ |_／
*Let's fighting love...
Let's fighting love...*
( ´ω`) I won the fight, due to my superior fighting skills and catchy music playing in the background.
( ｀ハ´）But in my last moment, I kicked you straight in the balls.
( ´ω`) Yep. You're fortunate to be alive, Junior, because I'd have never had your father if Vicious hit any harder then he did. Unfortunately, I immediately lost the fight after that, and I vowed my revenge on Darkpa. Damn sonofabitch won't die, though, no matter how hard I kick his ass.
( ｀ハ´）Because I've found the 7 DQNballs and asked the mighty BU-N Dragon for immortality. Hahahaha!
( ´ω`) Fag. Anyway, I met my first girlfriend after that. I found myself at a hospital, and this cute nurse was healing up my chinpo...
(・∀・) Grandpa, you're acting a bit hip all of a sudden. It's kind of weird, so stop!
Flashback~
( ・∀・) H-hwaaarg...
(*ﾟーﾟ) Oh! You're finally awake.
( ・∀・) W-where am I?! Where's Vicious?! Ow!
(*ﾟーﾟ) Calm down, your chinpo took some pretty serious damage.
( ・∀・) I swear I'll get him...
now, I never knew it then. but that nurse would change the history of the DQN...
(*ﾟーﾟ) By the way, your chinpo's lovely...
( ・∀・) You think so? Well, I think you're lovely too, madam'.
☆：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･( ・∀・)(ﾟーﾟ*)：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･☆
☆：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･( ・( )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･☆
kiss
end flashback
(・∀・) TL;DR IM GOING TO BE SICK GRANDPA!
( ´ω`) Yep, me and that nurse got hitched. She was a special one, as she was the first of my many >>1000 girlfriends, and the first out of >>1000 to get it on. However, it never occured to me what kind of person she truly was. It'd seem she had astronomical powers; those which ascend beyond mine. She created a creature that was the true epitome of all things DQN: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）). From there, she make the gods mona, giko, BU-N, Nida, Oppai Oppai, and all the other crazy characters you see occasionally here. These characters devastated DQN with their own ambitions and rampaged throughout this society.
( ´ω`) I wasn't quite sure what to do with her, until...
.＿＿＿
/ ||￣￣|| ∧＿∧
| ||＿＿|| (・∀・) I'm starting a blog for you grandpa.
|￣￣＼三⊂/￣￣￣/
( ´ω`) Your blogging pushed us off of the front page. Thanks alot, Junior.
(・ω・) Continue your story, grandpa!
(・∀・) Wait! Didn't you say in >>108 that you met grandma on a train?
( ´ω`) You fool, I didn't say that nurse was your grandmother.
( ´ω`) Well, the truth was, I wasn't too fond of these new gods. I just seemed to never get along with them that well.
flashback
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) DUuuURUUURRRRR!!
(・ﾄｪｪｪｲ・) Duurrrr!
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) UR DOIEN IT WRONG
( ・∀・) Oh shut up, nurupo.
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) GA!
（ ´∀｀）Omae mona!
( ・∀・) Oh my mo-nah!
（ ´∀｀）Mitsuki-chan!!
( ・∀・) Meetskey-chan!!
（ ´∀｀）You fail it nurupo.
( ・∀・) NO U
(・∀・) Happy World AIDS Day, grandpa!
( ´ω`) You'd have to worry about that.
( ´ω`) Well, kiddo, I'm done talking about my past for now. I'll probably start talking about it again in Grandpa 3.0. It'll be twice as interesting and full of awesome adventure, but I have to sleep now.
( ´ω`) ZZzZzZzzzzzzzZzzzzz
(・∀・) Grandpa, Grandpa, wake up! There is somebody on the phone, he wants to talk to you and said it's urgent!
,一-、 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| l ￣ ヽ ＜ We have gotten the phone number. Tap in.
6-■■ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
ヽ´∀｀
／|Ｙ/＼
flashback
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) duuuuurrr...
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) duuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrr......
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) DUUUUUUuuUUUUUUUuURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
end flashback
∧ ∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
∩´ω`)＜ Hello? Yes, my refrigerator is running....
□………(つ | ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
,一-、 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| l ￣ ヽ ＜ That idiot... can't even recognize the secret keyphrase anymore...
6-■■ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
ヽ ／
／|Ｙ/＼
∧ ∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
∩´ω`)＜ ...hello? ...hello?! ...
□………(つ | ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
∧ ∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
∩ﾟ∀ﾟ)＜ Oppai! Oppai!
□………(つ | ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
(;・Д・) Grandpa, who is it? The FBI? CIA? DQN?
( ´ω`) No, the DQN would have kept going DUUURRRRRRRRRRRR, this must be Darkpa's doing...
( ´ω`) Sonny, there is something I have tell you... about my past. I was the maker of mew mew project.
Σ(; ° Д ° ) What!? Are you for real, grandpa?
( ・ω・)!
( ´ω`) Yes. I had spent millions of yen on research equipment. And finally found something that I decided to call, kimera anima.
( ｀ハ´）Ha! I heard my name! Clonepa, come over here. I want to talk with you.
( ・ω・) What is it, Darkpa?
( ｀ハ´) Actually, I want to kill you!
( ・ω・;) Oh.
( ｀ハ´) Not even Grandpa's Secret Project can save you! HAAAAAA-
, ｔ ｯ､ ､hｒｒ
＿＿＿＿ ﾂ ｀ヾ;ll!!li´ ` 二
＼ ￣￣｀""'' - ヾl!!､､` _ノ
＼､ ｀"' ､i!!､
＼､ ヽハ´)ノ >>643
ヾ ＿＿ 'i `
（"'ヽ "' ､ i' Grandpa: HITEN MITSURUGI RYU:
|ヽ,,,ト､ ヽ l; RYU SHOU SEN!!
ノノﾉω`） 'l l;
（,,_||;;;;;;;;〈/」 i i'
/;;;ｙ;;< ﾉ i'
／::ヾ;;r､ｯ～´ ノ ／
（,,ﾉ ヾ,,,）-=二.,,＿＿,,. -''"
(; ° Д ° ) Grandpa, that's outrageous! What are you doing to Clonepa??!
( ´ω`) Junior, I know "God-speed" Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu is beyond you, but I hit Darkpa.
＼､ ヽハ´)ノ >>643
( ´ω`) See? Right there.
( ・ω・) yeah, i havent done anything anyway.
( ・ω・) yet.
( ・ω・) What was that? .....
,一-、 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| l ￣ ヽ ＜ MISTER ANDERSON...
6-■■ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
ヽ ／
／|Ｙ/＼
(;°Д °) Grandpa! The thread fell off the front page!
( ´ω`) Your complaining isn't helping, Junior.
(・∀・）But we need to keep this thread going, grandpa! It's your legacy!
( ´ω`) Everyone needs a little rest from time to time.
(・ω・) Yes... fall into obscurity!
(・∀・）Grandpa thread resurrection GET!
( ・ω・) Stop that!
,一-、 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| l ￣ ヽ ＜ YOU SAW NOTHING TODAY...
6-■■ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
ヽ ／
／|Ｙ/＼
( ´ω`) I came to this country with nothing but a hammer and a powerful laxative!
(・∀・）Grandpa, did you know that life on Earth depends on Jupiter? It's true.
(・∀・）See, since Jupiter is so big and has such a strong gravitational field, it actually helps prevent some large, life-threatening asteroids, and even the small, high-velocity ones, from crashing into the Earth with its own pull.
(・∀・）Still, everyone once in a while one will get close, but Jupiter is a real friendly and helpful neighbor that way! How about that?
( ´ω`) tl;dr
( ´ω`) But Junior, you're supposed to be completely stupid and ask ME questions in which I would provide that information.
( ´ω`) In fact, I have a question: How old are YOU, Junior?
(・∀・）How old are YOU, Grandpa?
( ・ω・) oO( Grandpa's never going to answer that question...
( ´ω`) Well, Junior, by the way, did you know that today is 3rd International day of the Ninja?
(・∀・）No, but I have a new question! Who were the guys in >>3?
( ´ω`) Our new neighbors. They've kept me up all night with their constant screaming of SAIKAMASAIKAMASAIKAMASAIKAMA.
(・∀・） I think you mean SAITAMA. Oh, and 666 get!
（｀ハ´）Damn! Why do I failed at such a dark GET?
( ´ω`) Your mom.
( ・ー・）Hello dad. Hey, son.
(・∀・）Dad?
( ´ω`) Why, if it isn't my accident of a son!
( ・ー・）I've come to take Junior back home. He's spent way too much time asking you questions, dad.
J(`Д´)し WHAT?!
( ´ω`) Bullshit, you pathetic waste of DNA. He certainly learns more talking to me than he does listening to your idiotic stories.
(・∀・）Grandpa, why are you always mean? You were much kinder in v1.0
( ´ω`) Sorry, sonny boy. It's just that your father and I aren't on the best of terms, and I was worrying that he might try and take you away.
( ´ω`) sniff You love your grandpa, don't you, sonny boy? Don't you want to hear more of my stories?
(・∀・) Yes, Grandpa, I shall continue to ask questions and nothing will stop me.
.ノ^ yヽ、
ヽ,,ﾉ==l ﾉ
/ l |
"""~""""""~"""~"""~"
|
|__∧
|ー・） Well, if you want to talk to my dad so much, so be it. But
⊂ ） I will be back, someday..
| /
|＿）
|
|
|彡
|彡
|
|
( ´ω`) Thank god that rancid smell is gone!
(・∀・）Like father, like son!
(-∀-） Why is it that you hate Dad so much anyway?
(・∀・） Without him i wouldn't be sitting here keeping you company y'know.
( ´ω`) That is the reason I hate your dad.
(・∀・） Grandpa, why do so many people want to buy a Xbox 360? The launch titles usually aren't that good anyway.
( ´ω`) Huh?
A what-box? Is this one of your new-fangled record players?
(;・Д・） Grandpa, you've turned invisible!
( ´ω`) O Rly?
|
|
|
(・ー・） that was me... sorry...
(∩∩)────────────────
／
／
／
( ´ω`) Who let Hikki in? I thought I banished him from my house. Junior!
(・∀・） That's dad, Grandpa, after a lifetime of no-love from you!
( ´ω`) want some wrinkly lovin'?
| ,
∧＿∧∩⊂⊃
⊂´⊃ (・∀・）/ , .|
| !⌒!!⌒!つ ,-=-
〔〕 ||,─、(⌒)─､ | |
.∧＿∧|||o （ ○ ）（ ○ ）||.|
（ ・ω・)||| ／ `ー ´ ｀ー- /へ
（ つ/|||ゝ ∩∧＿∧
> / へﾟ> |（ ｀ハ´）
し´し´ ┌┴--っ ）
| [|≡（＝＝＝◇
∧＿∧ `-（＿）~丿
（ ´ω`） ∪
θ､⊂ ）
⊂二(＼/
し ＼|／
／|
|
|
|
(・ー・） ummm...
(∩∩)────────────────
／
／
／
(・∀・）What was it like being a rock star, Grandpa?
( ´ω`) It rocked, junior.
(・∀・）Grandpa what do you think of David Bowie?
( ´ω`) Didn't he do that Faggy Starslut concept album or something like that?
(・∀・）He played guitar, jamming good with Weird and Gilly, and The Spiders From Mars, Grandpa!
( ´ω`) The only musician I respect is GG Allin. He was hardcore.
(・∀・）Grandpa, how do you do that Voo Doo that you do so well?
( ´ω`) That's a family secret, sonny.
(・∀・） I'm family! Can't you tell me?
( ´ω`) ROLL THAT BEAUTIFUL BEAN FOOTAGE!
(⌒ヽ、 （⌒ヽ、 ―――― ○
（ ） , ⌒ヽ ( ） ／/ | ＼
ゝ ヽ （ .' （ ヽ⌒ヽ.. ／ / | ＼
（ ） ゝ ｀ヽ( ） |
ゝ ｀ヽ,( ( ｀ヽ
（ ） ）
Grandpa: Junior, we're outside.
We must be dreaming...
( ´ω`)○○ （・∀・ ）
,.,.,.,., （○）""'（○） ' （○） '''''""""'''''' ;.."" :,;:;;"""
.,.,.,,,,.（○）（○）（○）○） ,,o|〃""' ' '''''""""'''''' ,;:;;..:;;:
''''""ヽ|〃ヽ|〃（○） |〃ヽ|〃""' ' ,;:;;..,, '''''""""'''''' ''''""~""'
''''""（○）（○） （○）○） （○）（○）'''''""""'''''' ,;:;;..,, '''''""""''''''
''''""ヽ|〃ヽ|〃 ヽ|〃ヽ|〃 ヽ|〃ヽ|〃,;:;;..,, ''
(・∀・）Wake up, Grandpa! I've go something to show you! Remember J-bot? I recharged him and plugged him into the wall, so he'll last longer.
|・＿・| HELLO-GRANDPA-UNIT. ACTIVATING-INTERFACE.
( ・ω・) Sorry, Junior...
(・ω・) ...but this time, Grandpa won't be waking up.
(・∀・）Who the fuck are you!. asshole?
(⌒ヽ、 （⌒ヽ、 ―――― ○
（ ） , ⌒ヽ ( ） ／/ | ＼
ゝ ヽ （ .' （ ヽ⌒ヽ.. ／ / | ＼
（ ） ゝ ｀ヽ( ） |
ゝ ｀ヽ,( ( ｀ヽ
（ ） ）
Grandpa: Clonepa?
Clonepa: Everything is going as planned..
( ´ω`)○○ （・ω・ ）
,.,.,.,., （○）""'（○） ' （○） '''''""""'''''' ;.."" :,;:;;"""
.,.,.,,,,.（○）（○）（○）○） ,,o|〃""' ' '''''""""'''''' ,;:;;..:;;:
(・∀・） Have those two went nuts?
( ´ω`) Was that a dream? Why, I haven't had a dream in at least 30 years now!
( ´ω`) How..disturbing. I was outside. My eyes hurt.
|
|
|
(・ー・） hello... father... welcome back... hahahahahaha...
(∩∩)────────────────
／
／
／
( ´ω`) What the hell am I doing here?! Where's junior?!
|
|
|
(・ー・） oh... junior, is it... it's ALWAYS junior, isn't it...
(∩∩)────────────────
／
／
／
|
|
|
(・∀・） is this good enough for you?! huh?!
(∩∩)────────────────
／
／
／
(｀ハ´） Damn, I need a beer. Are there any in the fridge?
(｀ハ´） OOOF!
(｀ハ´） Hey! Who the hell left this power coord lying across the floor?
|・＿・| 4:59:99!
|・＿・| 4:58:65!
|・＿・| 4:57:31!
meanwhile
(・∀・）I gotta go see my fiancee! Tralala.
(・∀・） Hello, fiancee!
（・_・。） ...
(・∀・） ... Hello?
（・_・。） ...
(・∀・;) Er, why aren't you talking to me-
BANG
'￢（・_・。） Sorry Junior, it's for the sake of the mission.
（・_・。） Mission complete.
Sound Only ...Good job.
( ´ω`) I sense a great disturbance in the DQN.
|
|
|
(・∀・） What?! Isn't my DQN enough?!
(∩∩)────────────────
／
／
／
( ´ω`) You couldn't DQN yourself out of a paper bag, now shut up and get me out of here.
( ´ω`) Oh, uh, hello there.
（・_・。）...
( ´ω`) Speak up, youngin'.
BANG
'￢（・_・。） Forgive me, Grandpa. But I-
( ´ω`) Haha! It'll take more then that to kill me!
（・_・。）!
Meanwhile
_ _ ξ
(´ ｀ヽ、
⊂,_と（ ）⊃
( ・ー・） Dad! Dad?!
(;・Д・） Dad, what's wrong with Grandpa?!
( ・ー・） Junior, I have some bad news for you...
( ・ω・) .....
(;・Д・）He's drunk again?
( ・ー・） No, but I saved a load of money by switching to Geico.
(;・Д・） ...
( ´ω`) Them I-talian secret ops can't hurt me because I have mew mew
（・_・。） . o O ( If I don't kill I won't be loved by my controller! )
(・∀・） Grandpa, help me!
|・＿・| 0:00:05!
|・＿・| 0:00:04!
|・＿・| 0:00:03!
（ ´∀｀）I like Kouyama Mitsuki-chan!
|・＿・| 0:00:02!
|・＿・| 0:00:01!
|・＿・| 0:00:00! SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED.
(・∀・） I knew I should've disabl-
,,:::========:::,,
...‐''ﾞ . ｀ ´ ´､ ゝ ''‐...
..‐´ ﾞ ｀‐..
／ ＼
.................;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;::´ ヽ.:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.................
......;;;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ .' ヽ ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;;;......
;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ / ﾞ: ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;
ﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;............ ;ﾞ ﾞ; .............;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ
ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.......;............................. ................................;.......;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ
ﾞﾞﾞﾞi;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;ﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ;lﾞﾞﾞﾞﾞ
ﾉi|lli; i . .;, ､ ` ; ､ .; ´ ;,il||iγ
/ﾞ||lii|li||,;,.il|i;, ; . ., ,li ' ; .` .; il,.;;.:||i .i| :;il|l||;(ﾞ
｀;;i|l|li||lｌｌ|||il;i:ii,..,.i||l´i,,.;,.. .il ｀, ,i|;.,l;;:`ii||iil||il||il||l||i|liiﾞゝ
ﾞﾞ´`´ﾞ-;il||||il|||li||i||iiii;ilii;lili;||i;;;,,|i;,:,i|liil||ill|||ilill|||ii||lliﾞ/｀ﾞ
´ﾞ｀ﾞ⌒ゞ;iill|||lli|llii:;ﾞ|lii|||||l||ilil||i|llii;|;_ﾞι´ﾟﾞ
BUT THE WORLD REFUSED TO CHANGE.
( ・ω・) < Ooh... Fireworks! So pretty
Meanwhile
_ _ ξ
(´ ｀ヽ、
⊂,_と（ ）⊃
(;・Д・） J-bot, fix Grandpa!
|・＿・|
(;・Д・）
|・＿・|
(;・Д・）
|・＿・| BEEP
( ・ω・) ...
(;・Д・） Clonepa! What happened to grandpa! I thought that he wasn't killed by Fiancee's shot!
( ・ω・) It's something else... he's not dead, he's in some sort of... COMA.
dramatic reverb
( ・ω・) < He's pining for the fjords.
(・∀・）I want to fuck fiancee.
( ・ω・) Idiot, that was just a part of a drug-induced dream. You don't really have a fiancee. You don't even have a girlfriend!
( ・ω・) anyway, since grandpa's gone, youll be asking me questions from now on.
( ´ω`) hello kids!
( ・ω・) o O ( I've underestimated him... to break that illusion so easily, it would take uncharted levels of DQN! )
( ・ω・) o O ( If the illusion was broken, then I must resort to... THE GRANDPA-VANQUISHER 2.0 (patent pending)!!)
＿ ＿＿_ ∧∧ ＿ 人人人人人人人人人人
／⌒＼ ＼ 〔〔 |Ξ (,,・ω・)つ ／⌒＾＼＼ ＜ ＞
/／⌒＼ |◎| ＿/ ||Ξ/ つ¶¶ / ／⌒＼|◎| ＜ This is the end, Grandpa!!
／ ）|日|＼/__＼|／￣￣￣￣＼ _____.|日|＼_ ＜ ＞
/ ● ＿＿_ ＼|／ ● ●/＼ ￣＼__〉 ∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨
／ Y Y ）ヽ Y Y ＼..＼ ＿/＾~ /＾|/＾|__
| ▼ | | /. ））.| | ▼ |／＼＼ /＾/.＾/_⊃
|人＿＿ノ⌒| |/ノノノ＼__人 、＿人| ＼＼＿＿＿＿＿_ __/＾/＾/＾/⊃
/￣ ＼＿＿| || ￣/目＞、 ＿＿＿ノ＼. /|￣ | ￣ ￣ ||γ～～～ |
/ / ./|__＿||_／￣／{三|三|三｝| ＼/|||‐‐‐‐‐‐＼ ⊂二⌒） γ /
/＿＿/＿./ ＼＿|ロ／￣{三|三|三｝ロ| ＾＾|＿＿＿＿＼＿||{ ヽーー/
／ / |/ 〉－－－－－〈＿ ￣￣￣￣￣￣
/======/ | ／￣￣￣|＾＾ ● ＾＾ ●）＼
／~/⌒|＼.|| / |￣￣＿＿|＿ ▼ | ￣|
（￣（）|⌒| ）|| / / / /ミ三＼＿人__/三{.|
（￣（）|＿|/ ||/ / / / / ￣/|:::::|::::| ＼
（￣（）／)/￣ / / / / ./ |:::::|::::|＼ ＼
＾（￣）/ /＿＿/_/ / / ＼__/ ＼ ＼
￣＾ /＾＾ / / ＼ ＼ |￣￣|
/ / / ＼ / |
__/三|/ / >三三＼___/
／ ＼／￣￣〉 /＼ / /
／＼ |＿＿/| / | / /
／ | / / / |_/ __/
／ |/＿＿/ / /￣ /
/ ＿_/ / /| /＿_/
/ ＿_/ / /| /＿_/
/ ／ ￣￣| / 〈 ＼／__〈/
/＿／＿／￣＼_|/ ＼ ＼＿＼
＾ /￣ | _＿ ＼ ＼. | |
|＿＿＿/＿＿＿| ＼|＿／
(・∀・）Sugoi, Clonepa! We're fucked!
(・∀・）Let's play some awesome fight music. Hmm... Perhaps Iron Maiden - Fallen Angel? Something heavier, like Amon Amarth - Vs. The World? Well, maybe some video game music. Earthbound - Final battle might work...Devil May Cry 3 - Vergil Battle 3 also. Oh, there's so many possibilities! What do you think, everyone?
( ・ω・) Something classy.
( ´ω`) May I suggest Tchaikovsky's "Scherzo: Allegro non tanto e con fuoco (Qrt. 1)?"
（ ｀ハ´）An articulate choice, Grandfather, but I believe Barber - Adagio for Strings is a more peculiar notion for such an epic event.
(・∀・） But you know, for classy, dramatic music, you really can't beat O Fortuna!
( ・ω・) Wait, I know!
Don't wanna know why, everybody ready get it on!!
＿ ＿＿_ ∧∧ ＿ 人人人人人人人人人人
／⌒＼ ＼ 〔〔 |Ξ (,,・ω・)つ ／⌒＾＼＼ ＜ ＞
/／⌒＼ |◎| ＿/ ||Ξ/ つ¶¶ / ／⌒＼|◎| ＜ Turbo Smasher Punch!!
／ ）|日|＼/__＼|／￣￣￣￣＼ _____.|日|＼_ ＜ ＞
/ ● ＿＿_ ＼|／ ● ●/＼ ￣＼__〉 ∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨
／ Y Y ）ヽ Y Y ＼..＼ ＿/＾~ /＾|/＾|__
| ▼ | | /. ））.| | ▼ |／＼＼ /＾/.＾/_⊃
|人＿＿ノ⌒| |/ノノノ＼__人 、＿人| ＼＼ ＿＿＿＿＿_ __/＾/＾/＾/⊃
/￣ ＼＿＿| || ￣/目＞、 ＿＿＿ノ＼. / |￣ | ￣ ￣ ||γ～～～ |
/ / ./|__＿||_／￣／{三|三|三｝| ＼/ |||‐‐‐‐‐‐＼ ⊂二⌒） γ /
/＿＿/＿./ ＼＿|ロ／￣{三|三|三｝ロ| ＾＾ |＿＿＿＿＼＿||{ ヽーー/
／ / |/ 〉－－－－－〈＿ ￣￣￣￣￣￣
/======/ | ／￣￣￣|＾＾ ● ＾＾ ●）＼
／~/⌒|＼.|| / |￣￣＿＿|＿ ▼ | ￣|
（￣（）|⌒| ）|| / / / /ミ三＼＿人__/三{.|
（￣（）|＿|/ ||/ / / / / ￣/|:::::|::::| ＼
（￣（）／)/￣ / / / / ./ |:::::|::::|＼ ＼
＾（￣）/ /＿＿/_/ / / ＼__/ ＼ ＼
￣＾ /＾＾ / / ＼ ＼ |￣￣|
/ / / ＼ / |
__/三|/ / >三三＼___/
／ ＼／￣￣〉 /＼ / /
／＼ |＿＿/| / | / /
／ | / / / |_/ __/
／ |/＿＿/ / /￣ /
/ ＿_/ / /| /＿_/
/ ＿_/ / /| /＿_/
/ ／ ￣￣| / 〈 ＼／__〈/
/＿／＿／￣＼_|/ ＼ ＼＿＼
＾ /￣ | _＿ ＼ ＼. | |
|＿＿＿/＿＿＿| ＼|＿／
( ´ω`) It was my late father's dying wish that I would bring absolute justice to DQN - and now, I shall enforce his last words stronger then ever before.
◢░ ▄▅ ▅▄ ░◣
▐░:: ▀ ▀ ::░▍
▐░:: ▂ ▂ :::░▍ CLONEPA, THIS WILL BE THE END!
▌░:: :: ▐:: ▄ ▀▄ :: :::░▌
▐▓░░:: ▋::: ▅▀ ::░▋ ::::░▓▌
▐▓▓░░:::: :: ▊░:::▊ ▊:::░▊ :: ::::░▓▋
▀█▓▓░░:::: :: ▀▀ ▀▀ :::░▓█▀
/＾/::/ |__
/＾/::/ /_⊃
＿＿＿＿＿_ __/＾/::/＾/⊃
|￣ /::/ | ￣ ￣ ||γ～～/::/ |
|||‐‐‐‐/::/ ‐＼ ⊂二/::/ γ /
|＿＿/::/＿＼＿||{ /::/ーー/
￣￣￣￣￣￣
∧ ∧,～
( （⌒￣ `ヽ ＿
＼ ＼ `ー'"´, -'⌒ヽ Grandpa: Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu:
/∠＿,ノ / Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki.
/（ ノ ヽ､＿/´ ＼
､（ 'ﾉ（ く `ヽ､
／` ＼＿＿＿_>＼＿＿_ノ
／ /＿_〉 `､＿_>
（ ｀ハ´）Fool, using one of your strongest techniques right off the bat.
(・∀・）Even I'm not that stupid, Grandpa!
( ´ω`) But it looked cool..
( ・ω・) It did, actually.
( ´ω`) You have an error in your SQL syntax. Check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near '' at line 1
(・∀・）wow grandpa, thanks that you let me know!
( ｀ハ´）You know, -I- should be involved in this battle. After all, I am Grandpa's greatest opponent.
( ・ω・) Then, you're my enemy.
( ｀ハ´）HAAAAAAA
( ・ω・) UWAAAAAAA
/＿／＿／￣＼_|/ ＼ ＼＿＼
＾ /＿＿_＿| _＿ ＼ ＼. | |
|( ｀ハ´）＿＿＿| ＼|＿／
CRUSHED
A...ah, damnit.
＿ ＿＿_ ∧∧ ＿ 人人人人人人人人人人
／⌒＼ ＼ 〔〔 |Ξ (,,・ω・)つ ／⌒＾＼＼ ＜ ＞
/／⌒＼ |◎| ＿/ ||Ξ/ つ / ／⌒＼|◎| ＜ How strong is that exoskeleton of yours?!
／ ）|日|＼/__＼|／￣￣￣￣＼ _____.|日|＼_ ＜ ＞
/ ● ＿＿_ ＼|／ ● ●/＼ ￣＼__〉 ∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨∨
／ Y Y ）ヽ Y Y ＼..＼ ＿/＾~
| ▼ | | /. ））.| | ▼ |／＼＼
|人＿＿ノ⌒| |/ノノノ＼__人 、＿人| ＼＼
/￣ ＼＿＿| || ￣/目＞、 ＿＿＿ノ＼. /
/ / ./|__＿||_／￣／{三|三|三｝| ＼/
/＿＿/＿./ ＼＿|ロ／￣{三|三|三｝ロ|
／ / |/ 〉－－－－－〈＿
/======/ | ／￣￣￣|＾＾ ● ＾＾ ●）＼
／~/⌒|＼.|| / |￣￣＿＿|＿ ▼ | ￣|
（￣（）|⌒| ）|| / / / /ミ三＼＿人__/三{.|
（￣（）|＿|/ ||/ / / / / ￣/|:::::|::::| ＼
（￣（）／)/￣ / / / / ./ |:::::|::::|＼ ＼
＾（￣）/ /＿＿/_/ / / ＼__/ ＼ ＼
￣＾ /＾＾ / / ＼ ＼ |￣￣|
/ / / ＼ / |
__/三|/ / >三三＼___/
／ ＼／￣￣〉 /＼ / /
／＼ |＿＿/| / | / /
／ | / / / |_/ __/
／ |/＿＿/ / /￣ /
/ ＿_/ / /| /＿_/
/ ＿_/ / /| /＿_/
/ ／ ￣￣| / 〈 ＼／__〈/
/＿／＿／￣＼_|/ ＼ ＼＿＼
＾ /＿＿_＿| _＿ ＼ ＼. | |
|( ｀ハ´）＿＿＿| ＼|＿／
Darkpa: Grandpa, we're not tools of the government or anyone else! Fighting was the only thing... the only thing I was good at, but... At least I always fought for what I believed in... Grandpa... farewell.
/＿／＿／￣＼_|/ ＼ ＼＿＼
＾ /￣ | _＿ ＼ ＼. | |
|＿＿＿/＿＿＿| ＼|＿／
squish
( ´ω`) DARKPAAAAAAA!!!!
( ・ω・) Foolish man...He begged for death, and it found him. You see? You can't save anyone. Not even yourself...DIE!
(・∀・）That was dramatic, but it made no sense. Why was Darkpa Clonepa's enemy in >>745?
( ・ω・) Well, you see, -I- want to be the one to put an end to Grandpa myself. I won't let anyone interfere with that.
( ´ω`) Oh, and we were also taking lines from Metal Gear Solid, of course. Just for reference.
(・∀・）tl;dr I see.
( ´ω`) Anyways, we need some more music. Clonepa already picked something, Junior is an idiot, and Darkpa is dead. That leaves me and my worthless son... any ideas, jackass?
( ・ー・） ....no.....
( ・ー・） Actually, if you're bored, you could just shoot the robot with this stinger missile launcher I've got here.
( ｀ハ´） I'm not quite dead yet.
( ｀ハ´） It just so happens that I am only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.
(・∀・）ARE YOU maybe UNDEAD?!
( ´ω`)Stop lying, Darkpa. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
( ｀ハ´） rock solid
( ｀ハ´） Really, I'm not quite dead yet.
/＿／＿／￣＼_|/ ＼ ＼＿＼
＾ /＿＿_＿| _＿ ＼ ＼. | |
|( ｀ハ´）＿＿＿| ＼|＿／
.........
( ・ω・) I made everything but the fist out of cardboard.
( ;´ω`) C...cardboard?!? ALL HOPE IS LOST NOW!
(・∀・）Holy crap, Clonepa, you should have told me you liked to build robots with cardboard! I got a few myself - none as cool as yours is though!
( ・ω・) We'll discuss this later, Junior. I'm busy watching Grandpa die of wakabamark.
´ω`)!
ω`
ω
.
(・∀・）Grandpa? Grandpa?!!? GRANNDDDPAAAASNNAAAAAAAKKEEEEE!!
( ・ω・) So, it's all over.
( ｀ハ´）My nemesis has been vanquished. What should I do now..?
（・_・。）...
|┃三 Slam!
|┃ ＠＠＠
|┃ ≡ ＠#、＠
＿＿__.|ミ＼＿＿（ ﾉ`） I don't remember why I even married him!
|┃=＿＿||ヽ ^ /|＼ Really though, I don't. Anyone know why?
(・∀・） His money?
( ・ω・) His home?
( ｀ハ´） His power?
（・_・。） ...his inner beauty...?
G R A N D P A 2 . 0 - E P I L O G U E
After Grandpa abruptly vanished from the world, everything went into chaos shortly thereafter.
（ ﾉ`）Grandma quickly passed away for unknown reasons.
（・_・。）Fiancee was hired by a underground DQN organization as a female assassin, and successfully killed thousands of DQNs, but died in battle with Junior.
( ｀ハ´）Darkpa, after living a long life of unsuccessful revenge, had no idea what to do at first of Grandpa's demise. He led a huge mass of DQNs to total genocide. Darkpa's existance was finally put to an end by an effort made by Junior.
(・∀・）Junior, after having asked thousands of questions to Grandpa, was severely devastated the most. He trained his body and mind to compare to that of Grandpa's prime days. He successfully killed Fiancee in a heated battle, but lost his arm in the process. With one arm, he then rode to destroy Darkpa, and did so by using Grandpa's legendary 'DQN Ultima Lv99 Death' that he finally mastered at his own last ounce of strength. Junior died, hoping that DQN would seek to a new light..a new hope. He thought of his Grandpa one last time, and faded to nothingness.
(・ー・）I've come to discuss the shaping of a new DQN.
(*ﾟーﾟ) What do you have in mind?
(・ー・）Even though my own son and father hated my guts, we must not forget what they've done for DQN. After the amazing Darkpa saga was put to an end with Junior's effort, the world was shining with a new ray of light. This ray of light shall prosper, and bring forth a new garden, a new DQN. I propose that the entity 'Grandpa' be born again, as well as 'Junior'. I also propose that 'Fiancee' and 'Darkpa' be brought back again.
(*ﾟーﾟ) What of Grandma?
(・ー・）She's a stinky old hag that deserved to die anyway.
(*ﾟーﾟ) I agree. She took my love away from me. But yes, I will vow to recreate DQN and implement the deceased characters of the Grandpa thread, bring them back to life again, and start anew. DQN, hun, you know what to do.
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) DDDDddddddDddDdDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUuuUUUUUuuuRRRRRRRrRrrrRR!!!!!!!!
( ・ω・) hello kids!
( ´ω`) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
---
(*ﾟーﾟ) Er, wait a minute, something's not right. What happened to Clonepa when Grandpa died?
(・ー・）I...don't know.
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) DDDDUUUURRUURURRRR?!?
( ・ω・) Ahahaha! You'll learn that your powers of reshaping the world have been reclaimed by ME! Now I'll control the Grandpa thread the way -I- want to!
(*ﾟーﾟ) !!!
(・∀・)y━･ Grandpa, can I just tl;dr that whole thing?
(・ー・） ...okay, you know what? I'm getting tired of this. First you wanted me to help you write a book, then it ended up being really stupid, and now you're just going to tl;dr?
(・ー・） You two just go bother Grandpa or something already, I'm going out for a drink.
(・∀・) ...
( ・ω・) ...
(・∀・) Grandpa, why is everyone trying to make a story here?
( ´ω`) It's just false wisdom. Don't imagine, learn!
(・∀・) Grandpa, is there life on mars?
( ´ω`) Kid, there isn't even intelligent life on Earth.
(・∀・) Grandpa, will we ever find the single quark?
( ´ω`) You're to one who lost it! Now get back out into the yard and look for it!
( ・ω・) Grandpa, what did you get us for Christmas?
( ´ω`) Well I've only purchased one gift so far: contraceptives, so mistakes like Junior don't happen again!
Σ(；ー；）...that hurt...
(;;`Д´) ! I'm taking your present back to the store Grandpa!
( ´ω`) Oh you actually thought of someone other than yourself this year? What'd you buy for me?
(・∀・) You'll find out on Christmas~!
(・∀・) What was christmas like back in your day, Grandpa?
( ´ω`) When I was a lad, Christmas meant getting a stocking full of oranges and Brazil nuts. And we were happy to have 'em!
(・∀・) Do you believe in Santa Claus, Grandpa?
( ´ω`) No. You?
(・∀・) Gee, I was hoping for a story about him being one of your old friends.
(；ー；） I hate you, Grandpa!
( ´ω`) I've been around the world, Junior, and I've seen a lot of strange things. But that doesn't mean I've seen everything.
(・∀・) Have you seen Russia grandpa?
( ´ω`) Even better, I've seen Soviet Russia. He was a silly man.
(・∀・) You don't post much, do you grandpa?
( ´ω`) Nope.
( ´ω`) The key is lurking. With lurking comes wisdom. Lurk more, sonny!
(・∀・) Hay Grandpa, have you played Final Fantasy 4? The original SNES cart, I mean?
(・∀・) I'm playing the GBA version, and I was wondering if you knew about any differences between the versions?
( ´ω`) Did you just curse at me sonny?
┌――――――――┐
｜.B１①②③④⑤⑥. |
｜⑦⑧⑨⑩⑪⑫⑬⑭｜
└――――――――┘
┌―――┬―――┐
| | |┌──────┐
| | |│Out of service│
| | |└──────┘
age ∧＿∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣
▲C<丶｀∀´> ＜ comon comon！
▽ ＼ ） | ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿
sage ｜Ｏ |＿|＿＿＿|
〈＿_〈＿〉
(;;・Д・) G-grandpa! Someone's using our elevator!
( ´ω`) Sonny, I have to say but... You are a stupid fuck. Why do you sage something already on top.
(・∀・) For this.
( ´ω`) Sonny, I have to say but...I'm W.T.Snacks.
(・Д・) Grandpa, didn't you know? Nobody pays attention to the email field!
(・∀・) By the way, you've been calling me "Sonny" alot recently... could you have forgotten my name?
( ´ω`) Ergh...
(・∀・) Junior, Ju. Ni. Our. Get that old man?
(・∀・) Grandpa, I fucking hate you. I hate you so goddamn much.
(・∀・) >:(
( ´ω`) DQN spotted!
(・`_´・) Wtf?
(・∀・) Sorry about that, I was feeling emo.
(・∀・)ノ凸 Anyways, here's your medicine, Grandpa!
( ´ω`) No use..... I'm dying junior.
(・∀・) Fine, FINE! I'll ask you more questions!
(・∀・) Grandpa, were you on usenet during Eternal September? I mean, early on.
( ´ω`) "Early on?" I thought that was yesterday. Or maybe I get it mixed up with Black September?
*
/ ＼
( ´ω`) Ho ho ho, meerrrry christmas, junior!!
(・∀・) Grandpa's Santa?!?
(・∀・) ZOMG PRESENTZ PLZ
( ´ω`) Have you been a good DQN this year?
(・∀・) Yes, Santa!
(・∀・) No, Santa!
(・∀・) Yes, Santa!
( ´ω`) That´s it! No christmas presents for you.
(・∀・) Noooooooooo! Santa!
(・Д・;）o O ( Christmas is over... and i still haven't gotten any presents..!)
( ´ω`) But you did get a present... you got me!
(・Д・;）o O ( ....... )
(ﾟДﾟ) o O (J-just now.. Did he read my mind?)
(;・∀・) um... Hey Grandpa! We're almost at 1000!
Nirvana awaits!( ´ω`) If I live that long.
( ´ω`) Junior, I have to tell you...I think I might finally pass away at >>1000 GET.
( ´ω`) You see, its come to my attention that a lot of the posts here are..interesting, but not as groundbreaking as the previous Grandpa thread. The lesser quality of your questions, and the less energy I have to stay alive.
( ´ω`) Some DQN may come along to make Grandpa 3.0, but the same Grandpa may not be there to answer your stupid questions.
(・∀・) Guess it's time for me to start havin' kids!
( ´ω`) We already did.
( ´ω`) Junior, what self-respecting woman would like a DQN such as yourself?
(・∀・) Fiance---
( ´ω`) No. She was a figment of your imagination...
(・∀・) B-but she's really real!
( ´ω) |・＿・|<丶｀∀´> ( ｀ハ´）（ ﾉ）( ・ω・)(*ﾟーﾟ)(・ー・）(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) No, she isn't, Junior.
（・_・。）i'm really not real. see look, i'm fading away now.
（・_
・
.
bink
(・∀・) .........
(;∀;) WWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
(・∀・) W-was it all just my imagination? E-even Grandpa?!
( ´ω`) No.
(・∀・) What is the Matrix?
( ´ω`) This is the matrix.
──
─────── ― - --
─── /⌒ヽ ────────
￣￣ / ,ﾍ ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ , ” ' ‐ ,
￣￣ i .i ＼ （ ´ω`ヽ, ___,, __ ＿ ,, - _―" ’. ' ・, ’・ ∧＿∧
── ヽ勿 ヽ,__＾ j i～"" ＿ ― ＿: i ∴”_ ∵, ( )
＿＿＿＿＿＿ ヽ,, / / __,,, -- "" ─ "ー ・, ； ; - 、・ r=-,/⌒ ～ヽ
─────── ヽﾉ ﾉ,イ ─── ― - i ｙ ﾉ' ﾉi j |
─────── / /,. ヽ, ── i,,___ノ /／
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 丿 ﾉ ヽ,__,ﾉ ＿＿＿ ＿ _ _ ,' ゝi
j i ／ y ノ
＿＿＿＿＿ 巛i～ ＿＿＿＿ ＿ / ／～／
i < /
(・∀・) I expected a bit more 3D, but I guess that's okay.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how do you like your tea?
( ´ω`) I like my tea ZA WARUDO!!!!
(・∀・)
( ´ω`) Time has stopped.
(・∀・) |・＿・| <丶｀∀´> ( ｀ハ´）（ ﾉ）( ・ω・) (*ﾟーﾟ) (・ー・） (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）)
( ´ω`) Where am I?
( ´ω`) Oh, right, time stopped. Now how do I turn this thing back on...?
( ´ω`) Aaah, it's not important. ZZZZZzZzzzzzzZzz....
( ´ω`) ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz......
( oωo)ITS
(・∀・)
(・∀・)
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）)
( ´ω`) Hmm...idea!
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ (・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ (・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!
( ´ω`) AHahahaha COUGH COUGH Ahahaha COUGH...ah, that's the shit.
( ´ω`)y━･~~ I need a smoke.
(・∀・)
(・∀・) Grandpa, s'like,,, wow, man. Y'know? Just... woah.... Think about it, man.
( ´ω`) It's over already?
(・∀・)
( ´ω`) Oh, his idiocy was just seeping through.
(・∀・） Don't die on us now, Gramps!
(・∀・) What are your wishes for the new year, Gramps?
(・∀・)
(・∀・)
(・Д・)
( ´ω`) 1. A harem consisting of all the hot babes in anime, hentai, video games, etc.
2. Die by suffocation of several pairs of boobs squished against my head. Then come back to life, then die again.
3. No Grandpa 3.0. I'm too old for this shit.
4. For you to shut up. How'd you even break out of that spell?
( ・ω・) Doesn't it only last for 10 seconds?
( ・ω・) Although the length of 10 seconds when time has stopped is debatable.
( ´ω`)
（ ܶωܶ）
( ・ω・) According to my calculations, if September had ended on time, it would currently be the year 2006 in some areas! Isn't that interesting?
(・Д・) What the fuck are you smoking?
( ´ω`) The Boss was working for the US all along, eh?
( ´ω`) Oh, sorry Junior, didn't mean to spoil the ending to MGS3 or nothing. Since I'm playing Solid Snake in MGS4 I figured I'd go over the whole storyline again.
(・Д・) I was playing that and everything!
( ´ω`) I also saved over your game.
(・Д・) What the f
( ´ω`) THE WORLD!
(・Д・)
( ´ω`) Ah, much better.
(・∀・） niggaplease, STARPLATINUKK!!
( ゜ω゜) W-What?!
(・∀・）Grandpa, what's your opinion on Genghis Kahn, ruler and founder of the Mongol Empire?
( ´ω`) He was here just now. You must have missed him.
(・∀・） Yes, but what do you think of him?
( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?
(・∀・） WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HIM!!??
( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?
(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE PUTTING YOU IN AN ABUSIVE NURSING HOME.
(;;`Д´) #*%$!!!!!!!
(・∀・）Don't have a cow, man.
( ´ω`) Abusive nursing home? Well, now that you mention it, I am up for a little BDSM!
(・∀・）Oh Grandpa, what will you ever do next? Hahahaha.
( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?
(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE TAKING AWAY YOUR PILLS SO WE CAN GET A NEW DVD PLAYER.
( ´ω`) A new record player?
(・∀・）What the fudge is a record player? MOMMMM HE'S TALKING NONSENSE AGAIN.
J( 'ｰ`)し WOULD YOU SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO WATCH DR. PHIL.
(・∀・）Old fuckin' geezer. You should just kick the bucket already.
(・∀・）Back to my fuckin' music...
(;∀; ）CRAWWWLLIINNG IINNNN MY SKINNNN, THESE WOUUNNDDSS THEYY WILLLL NOT HEALLLL
( ´ω`) You want real emo? Listen to some of my old country records.
(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪
(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪
(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, and you really wanna show it, slit your wrist♪
( ´ω`)♪♪♪♪
(・∀・）-? WHAT
( ´ω`) ...
( ´ω`) ITS
( （●）ﾄｪ( ´ω`) !!!!!
(・∀・） Grandpa, have you ever gotten 888?
( ´ω`) I've been known to GET, now and then.
(・∀・）Grandpa, do you think that animes generally have good endings?
(・∀・）Personally, I think they're always horrid pieces of shit! Why can't the japanese make decent endings?!
人
（＿）
（＿＿）
（ ・∀・） Jelous? Huh, Grandpa?
__〃｀ヽ 〈＿ It's only a matter of time until..
γ´⌒´-－ヾｖーヽ⌒ヽ
／⌒ ｨ ｀ｉ´ ）; ｀ヽ
/ ﾉ＾ ､＿__￥＿_人 |
! ,,,ノ爻＼_ _人 ﾉｒ;＾ > ）
（ <_ ＼ﾍ､,, ,+､ｒﾉ/ /
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〈J .〉､| う |, |ヽ-´
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ｙ ｀ﾚｌ 〈´ ﾘ
/ ﾉ | |
ｌ / ｌ;; |
〉 〈 〉 |
/ ::| （_ヽ ＼､
(｡ｍｎﾉ ｀ヽｎｍ
( ´ω`) Tomino and Anno really did spoil you kids.
( ´ω`) Junior, I lasted 94 hours straight in a arm wrestle with Vin Diesel and nearly won. Bastard had to do his Diesel Drive - some funky move that defined the laws of physics and put me down. But 94 hours, Junior! Bet you couldn't last half a second against that man.
（ ・∀・） Man? In school we learned that Vin Diesel is a force of nature!
( ´ω`) Vin Diesel created humans in his own image. Only a select few will ever get to see his true form.
( ´ω`) whoops, tl;dr >>895. I'm old, you know.
( ´ω`) Vin Diesel is the alpha and the omega. He binds and controls all atoms within the universe and all universes beyond even my knowledge.
( ´ω`) And I damn near beat him(it?) in arm wrestling, Junior. Though I have to admit...I was using my right arm. I did quite the amount of vigorous "training" with that arm.. heh heh.
(・∀・）Vin Diesel will benchpress you through a wall!
(・∀・）Grandpa, does that mean Vin Diesel wanks more than you?
( ´ω`) I haven't wanked in 20 years!
(・∀・） I haven't wanked since WHERE IS SARAH CONNER!
( ´ω`) This thread has been targeted for termination.
(・∀・）Solid Snake simulation? Eye stimulation! I don't have any relation.
(・∀・）Oh, a question. Do you think the person who made the original Grandpa thread is still around, posting in this topic? Or do you think that DQN monster (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) did him in?
( ´ω`) I expect he died when the funny did.
( ´ω`) I want to rest now sonny.
(・Д・) The world is coming to an end......
(´Д`) Reminiscing about old times.. Strawberry fields forever..
(・∀・）Grandpa... I suddenly felt so old. It was kinda scary but I knew you would save me if anything would happen. Why?
(・Д・) Because I'd beat the shit out of you if you didn't!
(・∀・）.... Grandpa?
. . .
( ´ω`) What the hell do you WANT?!
(・∀・）Inheritance money!
( ´ω`) Sorry Junior, there's no money left. I spent it all on hookers and champagne the last time I visited Vegas.
(・∀・）That's it! We're selling your organs on the black market when you die. Doc' said they seem fine.
( ´ω`) These old organs? That were beaten down over the ages I've lived? They wouldn't be worth more then a visit to that one ramen place..the one thats not really related to this thread.
(・∀・） Yeah, this thread is about beef bowls.
(・∀・）Wait, Yoshinoya?!
（ ´_⊃｀） I bet you like Hard Gay Ramen. HOO!
(・Д・) E-eeeeeeeeh?!
(・∀・）Grandpa! What is "Hard Gay"?
( ´ω`) Type it in Google Image Search and find out!
(・∀・）Grandpa! What is "Google Image Search"?
(・∀・）Grandpa, what can be done to make Grandpa 3.0 funny and good again?
( ・ω・) Less established characters.
(・∀・）Guess that means you need to die, Clonepa! And Grandma, Fiance (though shes already gone), my dad, Jbot, and Grandpa's first girlfriend.
(・∀・）Darkpa and DQN can stay, so long as they don't say much. After all, this is all about Grandpa and me asking questions!
（ ｀ハ´） Sorry, Junior, but your wonderful story in >>699-772 has inspired me to fight for the side of good. I must leave you now, and go on my own crusade...
(・∀・)b PARTY HARD DARKPA!!!
(・∀・）Wait, a crusade? Are you going to make a Darkpa thread then?
( ´ω`) Quit plotting my death. There's nothing in the will to begin with.
(・∀・） Don't lie to me, Grandpa! You told me one time when I was little that you found some buried pirate treasure once!
( ´ω`) But I didn't say you could have it.
( ´ω`) Plus how do you think i'm paying for all that hookers and beer?
( °3°) GAAAABOOORRRAAAA
(・∀・）Grandpa, a tamagotchi has invaded our thread! What should we do?!
a. Feed him
b. Slap him
c. Wash his poop
d. Nothing
e. ( ´ω( °3°) YOWCH!~
( ´ω`) a.
(・∀・） Sorry Grandpa, the answer we were looking for is 'E'.
( °3°) I demand an apology for this crap!
( ´ω( °3°) YOWCH!~
( ´ω`)y~~
( ´ω`) Okay, let's do a now.
(・∀・）Grandpa, what's the way of the samurai?
( ´ω`) Death before dishonor.
( ´ω`) Fine idea, actually, since we have dishonored our thread by no longer being funny. Be my second and then kill yourself, will you?
(・∀・）I have a much better idea. Let's start copying questions from V1!
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?
( ´ω`) We used to read books! You do kn-..
( ´ω`) This is the most commonly asked question from you, Junior. Ask a different one.
_∧ ∧＿＿
／( ´ω`) ／＼
／|￣ Ｕ Ｕ￣|＼／ I also have to tell you something, Junior. I get most of my answers from Wikipedia.
| Hii .|／
￣￣￣￣
(・∀・) AHA! Well, that make sense - Wikipedia is pretty cool. I sent them $20 yesterday!
( ´ω`) I sent them a Tic Tac and a wooden nickle.
(・∀・) But >>941-san, that doesn't really say anything about how this thread started!
(・ω・;) o O ( The first 4-ch flash...? )
(・∀・) Grandpa, are you sleeping again? You should visit my thread some time.
Grandpa is banned junior.
Please don't break the rules or I will lock this thread.
(・∀・)
(・∀・).... what?
(・Д・) G-Grandpa! Ban evading is a serious offense!