What happened to 1000get?!

Threads' closed, aids, etc.

What do we do now that DQN has become as retarded as /b/?

We blame you.

　　　Do you Like that?　　　　 ∧∧
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(( (；ﾟДﾟ) ))
　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (( // ､) ､)∩))
　　　　　　　　　　　　((〜（（≡γ'⌒ヽ∧∧ ))
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　し'`Jし'ゝつ；´∀ﾟ)っ ))

No-dattebayo.

Oh no-dattebayo! It started again-dattebayo! Any cure yet-dattebayo?

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) Go with the flow-dattebayo

ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) Who needs a cure-dattebayo?

I do-dattebayo.

You have it too, Natumi-dattebayo?

Ye gods, that's the secret of life.

gin and platonic or scotch and sofa?

A martini; shaken, not stirred.

Bugger, I've forgotten the next line. What was it again?

"How do I shot web-dattebayo?"

Dattebayo-dattebayo?

Dattebayo dattebayo dattebayo-dattebayo!

Dattebayo dattebayo-dattebayo?

That summer of 1941 was a more innocent time. I learned most of the sex
I knew from those little eight pager cartoon booklets of comic-page
characters going at it. Young men read them in the privacy of an outside
john, played with themselves, by themselves and didn't brag about it.
Sometimes, we got off with a trusted friend and helped each other out.

Care to be asshole buddies? ;)

No kashira.

What's my name kashira?

Rumpleshithead.

Is there a member of the elitist superstructure present?

DESU DESU

DESU DESU DESU DESU?

NA NO

KASHIRA?

Still no cure-dattebayo?

>>18-san, can you help us find a cure-dattebayo?

No I can't, but I do know of one high in the mountians BUT I will never tell you. MWAHAHAHAHA

Why am I such a control freak?

Wait, lemme get this one. BECAUSE I HAVE POWER!!

Am I your king?

No-dattebayo!

What is love-dattebayo?

Love is what I say it is! -Baby don't hurt me-

Am I YOUR king then?!

You are the king of my dick.

Is now a good time to buy SUN Microsystems stock?

No, Advanced Micro Devices is superior

Why is the sky blue?

It isn't, that's the ocean you're looking at.

Where is my mind?

You appear to have lost it.

How do they make cotton candy?

By making a slight variation to the process by which you shot web

What's the new black?

Black2.0

What time is it?

HAMMER TIME!

You see a pair of hammerpants. What do you do?

Can't touch this!

Can you touch this?

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Yes, with my MITTENS!

　　／⌒ヽ
　/（●）（●）
　|　ﾄｪｪｪｲ/ Can I pass through here?
　| /｀ﾆﾆ´
//　| |
Ｕ　 .Ｕ

Yes, as long as you remove your shoes and carry them to the other side.

What is your favorite variety of flavored soda water?

Cherry coke!

Why does my dog always sleep?

Because you touch yourself at night! Believe it!

Believe it?

Somehow, I cannot suspend my disbelief. I blame the director more than the actors, who did their best with a substandard script and poor blocking.

What was the last movie that you wanted to like, but failed, and how did it fail?

ネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネ

ネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネネ?

Yes, please.

Can I have some touch?

No.

ね?

( ﾟ -ﾟ)

( ﾟ ヮﾟ)?

( ﾟ ヮﾟ)

I woke up with semen in my underpants, but it does not taste like my own. What should I do?

Chnage the taste of your semen.

Why was the 999GET in the last topic such a letdown?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx?

∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴.

∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴?

Think, don't feel. It CAN be reversed.

Who is the square root of negative one?

daily

That's not the right answer.
Who is the square root of negative one?

i

Kurenai-sensei's bosom

Will Sakura develop a fascination with housedresses and muumuus?

One can only hope she'll be barefoot, pregnant, and baking pie by the end of the next season.

Why do people put those crappy canned black olives into pasta salad?

Because it was COPIED

{{subst:indefblock}}?

I don't know any wiki with this namespace.

How long should it take for the world to feel real?

Depends on the dosage. You didn't take the whole thing all at once, did you?

How can I make 10,000 dollars by next Wednesday?

Prostitution is always the answer.

Is this the real life?

He will not have one.

Why did I lie?

Because of uncyclopedia.

Why does Sony keep making stupid decisions with the console market?

Because it's Ridge Racer! RIIIIIIIIDGE RACERRRRRRR!!!!!!

　　／⌒ヽ
　/（●）（●）excuse me may i pass through here
　|　ﾄｪｪｪｲ/
　| /｀ﾆﾆ´
//　| |
Ｕ　 .Ｕ

　　　／⌒ヽ　　
　　/▼・ｪ・▼　 Of course!
　　|　 　　/　　　
　　| /|　|　　　　
　 //　| |　　　　
　Ｕ　 .Ｕ　　　

Do you like my puppy?

no

(ﾟ ヮﾟ) Do you like my mittens?

No, not with that face.

Oops, I forgot my question!

How do I shot web?

I know, lol.

Is The Question the best superhero without powers EVER?

I think I've heard of him, but his face is a total blank.

Why won't those goddamned vultures let Gwen Stacy stay dead?

That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die.

Is there no depth to which terrorists will not sink to make flying even more inconvenient?

WHAT

How do I wore mittens? wwwwwwwwwww

DAILY SAGE

Why did this thread die?

oh wait that's WHY щ(`Д´щ)

Because it's part 2.

Does Canada really have a secret service?

Yes. The Canadian Secret Priests perform it once a year on Victoria Day, and it brings the blessings of the Gods to all Canadians, and a bountiful harvest to British Columbia.

Is Roots really a cool store, or is it nothing more that a Gap knockoff?

I dont' even know what that is.

Are they another place for idiot teenagers to spend too much of their parents' hard-earned money on garish clothing?

Yes, >>70. Don't run up your parent's credit card too much, or they'll cut you off.

Why is the paper towel dispenser that high on the wall?

You're just too small.

Why is are graphics cards so expensive?

Because there's this one guy who works for ATI up in MA who eats constantly, messing with the bottom line. His presence alone adds about 30% to the cost of each card.

Hey.. I mean.. what is white chocolate anyway? Is it really chocolate?!

No it isn't, actually. It's based on cocoa butter, not cocoa solids.

Why is the music unit in varied humanities courses invariably twice as long as every other unit?

Because humanities students are only going to make money if they get a record deal.

Why is granola so damn good?

It's mostly because of the enormous amounts of saturated fat they sneak into it. Try cutting it with yogurt.

I'm going to be in Atlanta for the next 4 days. Where should we go for dinner on the second night?

Denny's.

Who am us, anyway?

Not grammar.

How can I stop thinking, and start feeling, so as to be Tanasinn?

It's easy, just ∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴.

Why is that ∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴?

Members of The Elitist Superstructure.

Why are Mitten Crabs called "Mitten Crabs" ?

It either has to do with their over-sized, furry claws, or with their cruel habit of sneaking into people's cedar chests and devouring their winter hand garments.

I'm at an airport, looking at a fast food joint named "Asian Chao". How do I pronounce "Chao"?

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）　　　　Why don't you come inside
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　　　　 Marty's　　　　　　 ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

( ﾟДﾟ) Last time I did, you charged me $2,349 for it! And I still didn't get to eat anything.

( ﾟдﾟ) Would I get better service at that "Squeek's" place across the street?

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）　　　　Squeeks' closed. Bonitis in the food, etc.
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　　　　 Marty's　　　　　　 ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）　　　　freshen your cup?
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　　　　 Marty's　　　　　　 ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）　　　　...hon?
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　　　　 Marty's　　　　　　 ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

( ﾟДﾟ) No thank you, I dislike taking the piss

( ﾟДﾟ) What ramifications does the overthrow of the republican party have for the Elistist Superstructure?

No thanks. Last time, you spit in it.

Is there any practical way to get off this planet?

>>88 More enforced political correctness. Incorrect thoughts will be saged.

>>89 Depends. Do you want to return someday?

Can I go to sleep now?

Yes. Take a rest.

What?

Sorry, I was just talking to myself.

Am I a cylon?

>>92 you are number six

Who is number one?

　╭‑╮
╒╧═╲ 　NUMBER ONE IS OUR GREAT AND GLORIOUS IMPERIOUS LEADER,
〕Д 〔 　WHO WILL COMPLETE THE SUBJUGATION OF THE LIFEFORM KNOWN
　　　　　　AS MAN AND USHER IN A NEW GOLDEN AGE FOR THE GALAXY.

WHY DO YOU RESIST？

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）　　　　My resistance just makes your penis harder!
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ ...finished with your plate, hon?
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　　　　 Marty's　　　　　　 ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

　╭‑╮
╒╧═╲　YES ― MAY I HAVE ANOTHER
 〕Д 〔

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）　　　　We just ran out of that
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ 10010011?
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　　　　 Marty's　　　　　　 ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

　╭‑╮　ＳＹＮＴＡＸ　ＥＲＲＯＲ？
╒╧═╲　ＳＹＮＴＡＸ　ＥＲＲＯＲ？
 〕Д 〔 　ＳＹＮＴＡＸ　ＥＲＲＯＲ？

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）　　　　1101010.
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ
　　｀｀フ　i´ ...10110011?
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　　　　 Marty's　　　　　　 ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

THAT'S A LETTER

Why has this thread been taken over?

　╭‑╮
╒╧═╲　HUMANS ARE AN INFERIOR, OUTMODED FORM OF LIFE WHICH IS FIT ONLY
 〕Д 〔 FOR CONQUEST AND THEN QUICK ELMINATION

　╭‑╮
╒╧═╲　SO, HONESTLY -- WHAT ARE MY CHANCES WITH HER?
 〕Д 〔

Slim

How do I shot web?

――――――――――――‐┬┘ Like this!
　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　　　|
　　 　 　 ＿＿＿＿.＿　 　　　　 | 　　　 　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧　　　┌─────────
　　　　　|　 　 　 　 |　∧＿∧ |　 |　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　◯（ ´∀｀ ）◯ ＜ What does the democratic landslide mean to DQN?
　　　　　|　 　 　 　 | （# ´Д｀）|　|　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ＼　　　 ／　　└─────────
　　　　　|　 　 　 　 |⌒ 　 　 て)　　人　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 _／ ＿＿ ＼_
　　　　　|　 　 　 　 |（　　___三ﾜ　＜ 　＞　 ＝＝＝＝≡≡≡三（＿／　　 ＼＿）
　　　　　|　 　 　 　 |　)　　）　 |　　　∨　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　 　 　 　￣￣￣￣'￣￣￣￣　 |

Nothing really

Who cares?

I care! I care!

Is it really necessary?

If you honor what they fought for? Yes!

I am wondering, why you are here?

Why should I tell you?

Ooooh, an answer and a question.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 /＼＿＿_／ヽ　　　　　　　　　　
　　　 (.｀ヽ(｀＞、　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　／''''''　　　'''''':::::　 hello im daddycool the VIPPE Rjoin my community of VIPPERS if you payme enough i will give you access to a private area of VIP QUALITY ;)
　　 　 `'＜｀ゝr'ﾌ＼　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　＋　 | （●）,　　､（●）､.:|　＋　　 http://dis.4chan.org/vip/
　 ⊂ｺ二Lﾌ^´　 ノ, ／⌒)　　　　　　 　　　　　　.　　　　|　　,,,ﾉ(､_, )ヽ､,,　.:::|　
　　⊂l二L7_　/　-ゝ-')´　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　.+　|　　 ｀-=ﾆ=- '　.::::::|　+　.　　　　
　　　　　　 ＼_　　､__,.ｲ＼　　　　　　　　　　　＋　　　　 ＼　　 ｀ﾆﾆ´　 .::／　　　　+　
　　　　　　　　(T＿_ノ　　 Tヽ　　　　　　　 , -r'⌒!￣ `":::7ヽ.｀- ､　　　./|　　.　
　　　　　　　　　ヽ¬.　　　/　ﾉ`ｰ-､ﾍ<ｰ1´|　 ヽ　| :::::::::::::ﾄ、 ＼　(　../ ヽ　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　＼l__,.／　　 　 　 i　l.ヽ!　|　　　.| ::::::::::::::l ヽ 　 ｀７ｰ.､‐'´|＼-､]

I'll stick with what I have. It may be free but at least it's mediocre

Why would anyone pay for crapfloods and shitty posts?

Because it's VIP QUALITY, obviously.

Why can't I find a decent condo under $100k that comes with a washer/dryer combo?

it carries out and is wwwwwwwash

How many more until 1,000?

Milia Rage. ( get it kami??)

Why am I so clever?

Cause you ate that horny Heather.

How do I ~nyaaaaaa?

>>114

Time heals all wounds.

How does one find Sniper Island?

gaping, vagina, hallway, etc.

How do I carry out and become w?

　　　　 　　/＼＿＿_／ヽ Payme enough money. Have you seen any vippers come buy here?
　　　　 ／''''''　　　'''''':::::::＼
　　　 . |（●）,　　　､（●）､.:|　＋

>>119
I didn't see any, but I have masturbatory blindness.

Do you like to watch the Discovery Channel show Mythbusters?

Anon want big boom.

This thread's back? Damn, don't you love the classics?

With the exception of Grandpa (v3463443.0).

Will I fail my final exams due to surfing 4-ch instead of studying?

>>121
No, because seriously how much time can one actually spend surfing 4-ch? I come here 4 minutes a day and I'm the king of this board.

What is af;aafk21?

password to my mittens closet

Where can i get a picture of the peoples that own this place?

On IRC, or traveling to the land down under and stalking Jay Squeeksand.

xyzzy?

‭(☣) [☢] ‭‭‭‭DAMAGE CONTROL SAGE [☢] (☣)

That password no longer works. It now depends on what item you see on the mantle when you read the Strange Pamphlet.

Should I untinker my meatcar just before I ascend?

>>126
Nah, soup up your meatcar with GReedy brand performance parts.

How big would a vise have to be in order to be large enough to flatten the Earth?

<---------------------------->
About this big. Probably bigger.

Why the fuck is e ^ (pi * i ) = -1?

>>128
Probably a math thing thought up by an ancient Greek, designed to confuse humankind for the rest of its existance

Has anyone else sucessfully used a torx tool to install a hex indented bolt?

>>129
No, you are the first. You should consider writing a research article on it and submitting it to respected journals on the topic of biomechanics.

Why does this always happen to me?

>>130
Don't worry, it happened to me, too.

Why does this always happen to us?

Because we are an entity that experiences everything and yet experiences nothing, also known as Jisaku Jien.

What is the answer to >>133's question?

Hopefully >>134 will know

So, is that a circular reference, or something more?

It WAS a circular reference, and nothing more.

Are you really disappointed, or is that just a little act?

I'm actually kind of disappointed. I'm really into all the quantum paradox stuff and I was looking forward to a little something more than just a circular reference. But what can you do, you know? That's life. Life is boring. Life is what it is and nothing more. And you have to choose how you want to react to life, and that's why I'm not going to let this whole thing get me down. I could, and in the past I probably would have, but I think that recently I've been in a very healthy place you know? Like, I've felt really positive about things, even when the bad things happen to me. So I'm going well, and I look forward to tomorrow.

Where was I?

You were having a Positive Mental Attitude, and confronting your automatic thoughts with healthy arguments that you sincerely believe. Cognitive Therapy has been a real godsend for you, and I haven't seen you so happy in years!

I'd like to buy you a little something just because you're you. What would you like?

Thank you >>136! I would like a pair of red and green mittens, becauseitschristmas.com!

Now tell me, what do you want for Christmas, >>136?
Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Well, for some strange, strange reason, I kind of want a Wii, even though I've never owned a console since the original NES and mastered Super Mario Brothers. Failing that, I could always use some new winter clothing.

Is shopping as painful for you as it is for me?

Shopping is like eating a box of chocolates when you're allergic to every ingredient on the list.

So what's for lunch?

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　＿　＿
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ／::.　ｿ .::;;ヽ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 /::.　　　　 ..:::;;;ヽ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 /::.　　　　　　..::;;;;ヽ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　/::.　　　　　　　 ..::::;;;;i
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 （::.　　　　　　　　..::;;;丿
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　>::...＿＿＿..::::;;;イ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　!ヾ.￣⌒_＿￣彡|
　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 　 iﾐ:::ミＣ＝　≡..:::　）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|::::　　　　　″. ´/
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|:::::　ヽ 　　　/ /;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|::: （ '　　　（　.::;;;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|:::　| ﾐ　　　.ヽ＼|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|:::　丶ヽ　　..:ヽ ）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|::: 　 .i　!　　 ::;;;;;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|::: 　 i .ﾉ 　 . ::;;;;;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　|::: 　（ ヽ　　..::;;;;;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 （ ＼　 l. |　　..:;;;;;;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　 |::＼∨丿 ″..:;;;;;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　 |:::　（　( 　ﾞ　..:;;;;;|
　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ,,.-‐''"´"　ﾉ ノ　　　 ""´"''- 、 ´

Cock-olates, evidently.

Why am I feeling so cold all of a sudden, like there was a sudden draft yet the air isn't moving?

My guess is that someone just walked on your grave.

Are you a ghost?

>>141

Because it's winter. Now turn the gun to yourself.

But I can't turn the gun to myself. I can only turn it to good or evil.

Do you respect Copyright?

Only if the bitch started showing me some respect!

What do you do for a living?

I sell vertical market management applications that were programmed in VFP. It's mostly phone sales, but I also get to be the male equivalent of a booth babe several times a year.

How about you?

It doesn't work that way, son. Your question needs to have content besides the question and a couple of supporting roles.

How about you?

It doesn't work that way, son. Your question needs to have content besides the question and a couple of supporting roles.

NO. U?

YA ME.

Anyway, do you think this thread has an chance of making it to >>999?

It certainly does, because it was blessed by Squeeks!

Does a bowl of chili and a couple of pints count as a nourishing meal?

>>151
Well, if it is Guiness-style, it might be...

When will people stop making fun of squeeks?

Only when it stops being fun. I can't see that EVERY happening, because Squeeks is a comedy goldmine.

How do I convince my parents to give me a down-payment for a house?

Only when it stops being fun. I can't see that EVER happening, because Squeeks is a comedy goldmine.

How do I convince my parents to give me a down-payment for a house?

Only when it stops being fun. I can't see that EVER happening, because Squeeks is a comedy goldmine.

How do I convince my parents to give me a down-payment for a house?

I recommend forgery and/or blackmail.

Smooth or Crunchy?

Smooth like DELICIOUS FLAT CHEST.

Have you ever been defenestrated?

Just once, but I swear she was over 18.

Do you have any Bactine and bandages?

No.

Who is driving car?

Nyomi sense.

Sage?

Bear is driving car!

How can this be?!

Bear opened door and pushed gas pedal!

Where did Bear get Fake Driver's License?

Bought it from that guy by the street corner.

Why does the bear wear glasses?

So he can so he can watch you live and breathe your storylines

Why does loli haet pizza?

Because the pizza delivery boy raeped her!

Why should you avoid the Noid?

He carries diseases.

What is the deal with airline food?

Since flight schedules are always changing, nobody knows when food should be prepared and thus all airline foods have to be able to heated instantly, and their budget isn't big enough to get instant foods that taste good.

How do I win The Game?

Commit suicide by jumping off a huge building after huge emotional stress!

Why should you avoid the Noid? Let's see the right answer this time motherfuckers!

Because he's a noid, and therefore not very much fun to be around.

MacGyver is stuck in a room on top of a bomb, the only thing he has to work with is DQN. How would he escaped (and -for bonus points- disable the bomb)?

The overwhelming fail of the DQN makes the timer fail and the ropes holding MacGyver rot away. He opens the door and walks out.

The overwhelming fail of the DQN makes the timer fail and the ropes holding MacGyver rot away. He opens the door and walks out.

Oops, did I just forget to ask a question?

No, you didn't, that will be $599 USD, please.

Now my good man, what do you like to play?

violin.

Jack hold a stick 2 m long and spins at a rate of 10 Hz hirozontally. He accelerates at a rate of 4 m/s/s [N 45 W]. just what kind of person is Jack?

Dizzy.

Is there a such thing as aliens, time travellers and espers?

Join the SOS-Dan club and find out.

What am I due to be reborn as?

Espers are from Final Fantasy VI
Aliens are from Mexico
Time Travellers are from the Future
they exist if you believe in them.

Do you have four seasons in your country?

No, I got 1 season in my DQN, Summer.

What do you say to a boy from korea, who has lost their hands in fiddeling with atom bombs, when he tells you he misses wereing mittens?

Get some mittens without thumbs, and put them on his arm-stubs.

Where would one get mittens without thumbs?

>>178: Get a pair of socks. It's all good.

Why hasn't IAA been closed by now?

>>179: because it has more than six posters.

Why do people think there's a meaning to existence?

>>180

Because they can't accept that they're an accident of nature -- a monkey with delusions of grandeur. Thus, of course God made them because he has a purpose.

When will we meet the Vulcans? Do mindmelds hurt?

wait... that's two questions...

The mindmeld only hurts if you fight it... and they like it when you resist.

How can I teach my pet brown recluse to spell?

Make it write letters on body using it's toxines.

When will be year 1994?

AOL has abandoned usenet support, so, hey! 1994 is right around the corner!

How many pins can dance on the head of an angel?

Forty-two, but they can't dance very well.

What is the effect of the color orange on the human mind?

Orange is not a color, it is a flavor. Its effect is delicious.

Is it lupus?

ITS NOT LUPUS. ITS NEVER LUPUS.

What do you think of proper grammar on the Internet?

A lost cause. That's what it is. Give up and cry already.

What did Peter Frampton call that thing he used to make his mouth into a resonating cavity?

goatse

How is it that DQN has made two entire threads that consist of nothing but Rei saying 'sorry we just ran out of that'?

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 　乂-‐　−! i 　Customer service never goes out of fashion.
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ　 　That being said, how long should your soft-boiled egg boil?
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　 THE REI'S DINER　　 　==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

daily sage

>>191 is in the wrong thread.

American women are bossy, catty manipulative bitches; how do I got old-fashioned, submissive foreign wife?

Move to Mexico. Or marry a "Southern Belle".

I just ate six big macs. Why do I feel sick?

You just ate six big macs.

Why the hell did you eat six big macs?!

It was a bargain.

What wouldn't I do for money, after all?

sex

>>195
Feel tanasinn

When did it come from VIP?

It traveled with the mouse in Daddy Cool's pocket.

Is an ahoge truly moe?

Not really.

Can you believe there is article about ahoge in wikipedia? right next to quantum fluctuations.

I believe it, wikipedia will publish any old tripe

I can't wait for someone to make an elitistsuperstructurepedia.

No. "Sysop at 3 Jan 2007: 22:58

Guys, Wikichan has been fun, but your endless and amusing revert wars have caused the entire internet to overload and explode into candy. I will try to keep the wiki open as an archive, but I am afraid that editing is no longer a possibility until I get better hosting. Feel free to dump all wikichan shit into other wikis such as etherchan.info, wikichan.org, and wikipedia.org. This site will not die, but all great things must come to an end, and unfortunately, the only great thing on this site was the wiki"

What caused (will cause?) the great revert wars of 2007?

Harutards and other DQN punks.

Which is bigger: 2ch user base or WoW user base.

They share the exact same user base, user for user.

What do you think of General?

I give it three stars

If corea eats cat and china eats dog, what does japan eat?

Japan eat fish. ALIVE

Damn, I'm never any good at this part. What should I be asking about, DQN?

You should be asking about the real identity of MODD.

Who is that MODD, anyway?

Just some power-hungry ass.

Why is it so fucking cold out this morning?

BECAUSE IT'S WINTER

Should I turn the gun on myself?

No, you should wear warm happy mittens.

If the entire California orange crop is destroyed, what will we use for liquid sunshine?

Mountain Dew.

Who do the voodoo that you do?

I do, duh.

Whom should I have called the kaiser?

>>1. He's an idiot

What what what?

Bumsex Bumsex Bumsex Bumsex

At the end of the day, DQN, why does it always seem to come back to All Alone For Christmas (As Usual)?

Because it's the song that better than any other represents the DQN Spirit, even more than Big Ol' Butt.

Are you dateless again for Valentine's Day?

No, my gun keeps me company.

How much exactly is too much metal for one hand?

That would be roughly the amount that would be impossible to pick up and smash into the side of the head of someone repeating that tired meme.

Just how many bats live in Austin, TX anyway?

Enough bats that some bats were actually... unordered.

Why are the japanese seemingly incapable of good website design?

>>218
They all believe in traditional things, so they use web models from 1995 and earlier.

OH NOES THEY BROKE THE THREAD!
WHATEVER SHALL WE DO?zorz

fix it. duh.

Why must you say OH NOES? Is YTMND broken now?

Fix it I suppose.

How do you think we can best do that?

You broke the thread again!

Can we get it back on track from here still?

Not if you fuck it up like that.

Does anyone else have a question?

Yep.

Would you laugh if I called this a Depression-Tossed Salad?

orzorz

No.

Why hasn't squeeks written code to direct/confine the 4ch newbs here from whatever boards they're infesting?

One can only assume Squeeks is a busy man.

How do I return font settings to defaults?

It depends on what browser you're using. For Firefox, Tools => Options => Content.

I'm a 4-ch newb. How can I be less offensive to your august personalities than might be typical?

It's all because of you,
I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away,
Now my life is just a rainy day and I love you so,
How much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely.

How's that for an answer, >>229?

Post Grandpa and sage every thread you see because it's not good enough for you.

What are those fake bacon bit things made out of?

they're made out of QUIT PRE-EMPTING ME you jackass. Or something.

Why do they taste so good?

Because fake bacon bits have some level of real bacon included.

Will a tax on stupid people cure the national debt?

Probably. Early tests of the Stupid Tax in Las Vegas have been encouraging.

Where are my car keys?

I have them, sucka!

Want 'em?

Well, yeah.

What's that smell? Is that you?

I hope not.

What does it smell like?

vanilla

Who farted?

http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1168145969/22

How the fuck am I supposed to get up at 5:30AM every morning?

>>239
Become a speed freak.

Why does it burn when I pee?

>>240
You got it from the toilet seat.

Why is it called "breaking wind" when the only thing broken is silence?

>>241
Clearly you're not asking the wind's opinion.

How would DQN cure the sniffles?

By snorting silica gel from the little packet that says "Do not consume". That'll dry up those sinuses, u betcha!

Do you have to be born to enjoying durian, or can you learn to like it?

>>243
Durian can be enjoyed as early as the second trimester, though one's ability to enjoy it is a sign of sufficiently good health that they will be born anyways.

What will the next question be?

Let's find out, shall we?

Is this a god question?

It would need a church and worshippers before it could claim that title.

What will life be like in 2500?

Nabokov's "Invitation to a Beheading."

Where did I go wrong?

I do believe that a more time-efficient question would be "where did I go right?", to which the answer would be "nowhere".

Am I a cool, intelligent, witty, smug bastard or what?

Possibly intelligent, nowhere near as witty as you think you are, and yes, quite smug. I will not comment on your parentage or "coolness".

What is your quest?

To find the holy grail

Who gets along better, Japan and Korea, or England and France?

England and France, since there's no ocean separating them.

What's the best way to make any mundane subject into something controversial?

Liberal use of ad-hominem attacks, conservative use of facts to back up you're point.

Did you see what I did there?

Yes, you said "Liberal use of ad-hominem attacks, conservative use of facts to back up you are point."

Was my grammar correction subtle enough?

No. I only had to read it 3 times to notice it.

If 7up is 100% natural NOW, what was it BEFORE?

Tainted by high fructose corn syrup. Oh, wait.

Which Wikipedia page should I vandalize next?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squeak_Piggy_Squeak

Obsess much?

No, the shrine I built in your honour is something normal that everyone does.

Why don't the birds sing anymore?

Because you shot them all.

Why 2-ch is shutting down?

It's crumbling under the weight of news4vip

Damn, it even broke this thread.

How much do I have to pay daddy COOL before I can gain access to a special area of VIP QUALITY?

Subscribing Information

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How much it cost?
Depends on which you are subscribing for, the life-time membership is a 1 time fee of 5, the 3 month subscription is only 5.

What are the benefits of Subscribing?
Private quality, "VIPSTAR" Passwords, Website/Forum Layout/Templates andscripts, Full versions to Eurobeat you ask for, VIP quality AA,and ofcourse the benefit of helping Daddy Cool active and alive.

Why pay for it?
Well, first of all, you are supporting us to be able to pay for thesite to be up. I understand some of you dont believe in "paying forquality", but that is NOT what I am asking, and not what you are doing,you are basically just supporting the forums, and as a bonus we offeryou the extra stuff free, we do not believe in "Selling Quality", but wedo believe in having a private section for those who rather get thebetter stuff that public doesnt have.

How do I subscribe?
Go into your User CP, and scroll down to the "Paid Subscriptions" area,click that and it should have a menu that allows you to choose between3 months or life-time. There is more then just paying by PayPal, wewill not just automatically set you as a subscriber once you pay, readbelow for more details.

What do I do after I pay?
You private message "Daddy Cool" on the forums, with the phone # oraddress ON THE PAYPAL ACCOUNT YOU USED, I will then either call you(Instant Verification), or send you a letter to your house with the pincode (3-5 day Verification). Why? Because many people try to use fakePayPals to fraud the subscription, so I must take higher measures tomake sure it does not happen again, because I doubt anyone would wantme reporting them for fraud.

Note: Your information will NOT be given out to anyone, I will write itdown in my address book (not on computer) and delete it off my computerfor security measures of your personal information.

Is there any other ways of paying?
Yes, I do accept Western Union, which you could also do by Creditcard,or cash. They do charge a fee though I believe, its best to use PayPal.If you do plan to do it this way, you can contact me via PM and work itout.

Didnt answer all my questions?
Again, you may PM "Daddy Cool" with any questions or concerns, or justsimply reply to this thread. Do not spam or flame in this thread, youwill be immediately banned, no exceptions, no joking around saying"Flamed, jk".

Any other questions about my private area of VIP quality?

No, that will be all, thank you.

Is it a healthy idea to live off of freebasing ramen if I can't afford any better?

Not really, because of the damage it will do to your lungs. I suggest you stick to snorting the flavor packet.

If I keep my tritium glow-keychain in my front pocket, do I risk my potential offspring becoming hideous mutants?

No, you risk your potential offspring becoming powerful superheroes
who shame their nobody parents with there Bergeronesque excellence.

Will I win the lottery today?

Doubtful, since I bought the winning ticket

In retrospect, isn't it obvious that Tim Burton's Willy Wonka is the superior version?

I wouldn't know, I haven't seen it.

What seperates a good fetish from a bad one?

Wether it's mine, or wether it's yours.

Hiring a prostitute...especially if you're someone who's famous...how pathetic is that?

Only as pathetic as the sex.

Is Mystery Science Theatre 3000 any good?

Definitely.

What motivates someone like >>268 to ask such a stupid question?

his mother.

what do you get when you cross an operating room and a pentagram?

A nurse-proof maze.

What do you get when you cross an operating room and Pentagon?

A secret alien headquarters.

How do I cure melancholy?

Seek out Aliens, Time Travelers, Espers, Sliders, and play with them!

If Hillary just tossed her hat into the ring, what kind of hat was it?

A lesbohat!

What the fuck is a lesbohat?

>>274
A rainbow fedora, presuming Hillary is butch. Otherwise a pink bowler hat.

A Portmanteau word consisting of slang for a lesbian and an article of clothing.

Was this answer helpful?

No, it failed to tell whether Hillary is Butch.

Is Bill the Sundance Kid?

what what what

>>277
"Some answer", because if I don't next girl will answer anyways.

So what happened to dqn and The Elitist Superstructure?

>>279
i stopped visiting dqn for a while. i am the elitist superstructure.

will i ever find a girl who is not a complete idiot and will go out with me?

I don't see how that could ever occur, really. Just suck it up.

What is Squeeks' real name?

It is .. <static noise> ... e <more static noise + black and white film effect>

what happens if you ride in a nissan patrol for 12 hours?

You get your card stamped. Get 10 stamps and you 10% off price when you Nissan Skyline GT-R.

What the hell happened to my English?

>>93
i love moot
http://minkara.carview.co.jp/userid/177227/profile/

>>283 It began deteriorating the second you were introduced to the internet.

Why doesn't my browser have a spelling/grammer checker?

Because then we wouldn't have an awesome acronym like TANSTAAFL.

Tom Jones, greatest artist or greatest artist?

Both

How do you pronounce HIMEOBS?

Princess Zero Bullshit

Sierra Hotel is sooper sikrit code for...?

http://l4cs.jpn.org/gikopoi/flash/gikopoi104_for/flash_gikopoi.html

Why aren't there more DQNers there?

>>290
Because there are not DQNers here. All we have are some ELitists.

>>290 Because most of us are antisocial bastards who couldn't deal with real-time interaction.

That being the case, why don't more people join #4-ch on irc.zirc.org ?

>>292 because 4-ch is a hikikomori community !

Why hasn't anyone come out with any truly awesome music in over ten years?

Purely to spite your nostalgia-addicted backside.

What happens if a diamond falls into a black hole?

It hits rock bottom

How long will it take for me to get citizenship in japan?

IT TOOK ME FUCKING 100 MINUTES... oh, wait. Five years, I think.

I gave up some territory, but I was allowed to retain a few leads to try to close them this quarter. I'm beginning to realize that I had forecasted a bit optimistically. Anyway, what do you do to maintain your Positive Mental Attitude?

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　Oppai threads don't work in Western forums because we are too individualistic!
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　You mean they won't copy-paste the same thing a thousand times? Who cares?
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　Oppai threads don't work in Western forums because we are too individualistic!
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　You mean they won't copy-paste the same thing a thousand times? Who cares?
　⊂彡

Don't be sexist. You bastard.

How many girls post to DQN, anyway?

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　Oppai threads don't work in Western forums because we are too individualistic!
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　You mean they won't copy-paste the same thing a thousand times? Who cares?
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　Oppai threads don't work in Western forums because we are too individualistic!
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　You mean they won't copy-paste the same thing a thousand times? Who cares?
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　Oppai threads don't work in Western forums because we are too individualistic!
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　You mean they won't copy-paste the same thing a thousand times? Who cares?
　⊂彡

Yes, that's exactly what I mean.

Can someone give me something to swat that bee or whatever the hell that is?

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　Oppai threads don't work in Western forums because we are too individualistic!
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　You mean they won't copy-paste the same thing a thousand times? Who cares?
　⊂彡

I care. I care a LOT. More than you'll ever really know.

If I have to beat the fear of God into you, is it bad if I leave marks?

Not if the marks are shaped like the cross.

Who will take responsibility for this, this unbelievable failure?

What responsibilty? This is DQN, son, failure is part of our everyday nature.

Are you sure this is the board for you?

No, but I'm a poor boy without many options.

Have you ever had to just make do with what life handed you?

Yes, life handed me a penis but no vagina to play with.

Where can I get some prime vagina?

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　prime vagina don't work in Western forums because we are too individualistic!
　⊂彡

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟヮﾟ)彡　You mean they won't copy-paste the same thing a thousand times? Who cares?
　⊂彡

Certainly not me.

Is there really such a thing as Scheppervescence?

A what?

Can you say that in English,please?

What you say!

May you saying that in the Engrish,please [ka].

No, I'm forbidden by court order.

A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome?

y/n

What kind of pineapples?

Ah why I dunno.

Are puns funny?

Always. No exceptions.

What would be the best methoWHERE IS SARAH CONNOR?

GAH!!!!!!!

Is a punch in the stomach an appropriate response to "Gao"?

I HOPE YOU LEFT ENOUGH ROOM FOR MY FIST, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO RAM IT INTO YOUR STOMACH.

Uho! Io otoko?

I'm so bishy, I'm considered an attractive nuisance.

If I see the Squeeks traveling on the road, should I kill him?

Splatter the bastard.

Can I use Squeeks as manure for my fields?

He'd enjoy it; his self-loathing is evident.

Did you view the source yet?

Nah, that sort of thing is for code-monkeys. I'm proud to not be a goddamned back-office code-monkey!

How many pointy-haired bosses does it take to screw up a project?

Just you, I think.

How come nobody can get "that guy" (you know who I'm talking about) fired?

Because he's actually working for the CIA.

Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

Daddy Cool, and he maintains a private area of VIP quality ;)

Why do I always forget to append a question at the end of my solution?

Because you do not deem 4-ch worthy to answer your esoteric questions.

How do I deal with life?

Hara-kiri

Or is it Seppuku?

Who cares as long it ends his pathetic life.

Do you have an equally pathetic life?

>>331
no, i became an hero years ago

is it true that if i fap more than 5 times in one hour i will cum blood?

>>332

No, the record for most orgasms in one hour is held by a 14 year old boy and is about 24.

Why is DQN so cool?

>>333
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) BECAUSE WE LIKE MITTENS SILLY

Why do i miss nadia the secret of blue water so much?

>>334 I have no idea, because you can always purchase the R1 DVDs.

Why don't college students swallow goldfish anymore?

>>335 The risk of choking on the goldfish. Not funny, man.

What happens if you get into one little fight with the guys who are up to no good?

>>336 Since they are no-good for nothings they run away screaming.

Gawd I'm tired, how do I stop posting and go to sleep?

Use windowcleaner to increase your speed.

How do I got rid of tripfags?

You don't. They persist long after anonymous has fled.

How do I get these damned tea stains out of my mug?

Mix chlorine with bleach. Works like a charm!

How come there isn't a 2-episode animu named Chlorine?

Because of the Coreans. They take the animator jobs.

Why does sleeping in a closed room with a fan kill people?

Because people sleepwalk, sleep ladder climb, and the sleep get head cut off.

If Jimmy crack corn and no one cares, why was a song written about it?

If Jimmy had smoked crack instead, it would've been banned by the RIAA.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

ZOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Considering that we're all Eternal Septemberists, do you regularly read rec.humor.oracle?

Not regularly, but I occasionally like to persue the digests. You owe the oracle 12 pieces of oak wood.

If I created a magazine all about internet subculture, an e-zine, and published it monthly, would you subscribe? What price would you pay?

Mostly my sanity and my attention span. Is there really such a thing as an 'internet subculture' when the internet casts as wide a net as it does? There's more of an Internet Culture which has budded a large number of subcultures, but I'd no more call, say, otokukin a part of Internet Culture as I'd call Goths a part of Society. As for paying, hey, the internet wants to be FREE!

Do you prefer cool or warm fluorescent tubes?

Warm, because they're so cool.

How do I get these, uh, stains out of my wedding gown? I really need it tomorrow!

There's no time! Cancel the wedding to stall for time, and stage an elaborate robbery so you can get a new one.

When I close my eyes, I see many things. Yet, when I open them, I see nothing. What am I?

>>348
Blinded by excess masturbation.

If the mythbusters challenged the urban legend "You can do anything you want as long as you put your mind to it."?

>>349

They'd blow themselves up making a massive explosion.

What would George W Bush do if he met a Klingon?

call him Kahless

Are klingon incisors sharp?

Of course.

Is >>1 an idiot?

>>352 understands the only way to make a thread popular.

Leave?

No, I've still got a lot of sunlight to collect.

What would I find if I were to examine the crack in the cave wall?

Nothing. You have to blow it up to find something.

So what's behind the wall?

A new car!!!

What am I likely to be eaten by?

bears

is it creepy to love snacks for his gentle and playful spirit?

yes but coda is better

how do i keep people from gikopoi out of here?

Draw the chalk circle and chant the incantation, of course.

How do I get my cat to lose weight?

Stop feeding it so much. Get a clue,

Is a teddy bear holding a heart a good Valentine's gift?

Yes. Preferably still beating.

Whose heart should you use for it?

The bear's own heart.

Is this manly? Y/N

Only if you extracted the bear's heart with nothing but your bare hands.

How can I become more manly?

Linear Algebra.

0 / 0 = ?

Hey! I think it equals 1...no...ZERO!

OH SHI-?!?

No, because 0 / 0 = ? is clearly somebody wearing glasses.

Who is hiding behind the glasses?

A person who isn't bulletproof.

Can I stay home from work tomorrow?

if carl says its okay

carl is this okay?

RIP carl 1993-1993

Who will approve >>367's day off if carl is dead?

>>367 should simply call into work with a vision problem.

Can you see going to work?

I can't see myself going to work.

What is a hikikomori?

A very sweaty monkey.

Shouldn't half of this thread be in a FAQ section?

Yes.

But which FAQ section?

The "miscellaneous"section.

What should I name my lawful character, neutral character, and chaotic character in Shin Megami Tensei?

Moe, Larry and Curly, respectively.

Do you have any good idea for a tax write-off that the IRS won't find suspicious?

Yes, donate mittens to charity. The IRS won't dare suspect your kindhearted mittenism.

Why does my bellybutton feel so funny all of a sudden?

You're cosplaying as the Vis-tan variant that's been infecting /os/

What useful things can I do with my navel lint?

You can always use it as a poultice if you cut your finger.

How many boxes of Pocky can a sheep eat at a single sitting?

I wasn't aware sheep would eat Pocky. I think it's cardboard.

Now, how many boxes of Pocky can a weeaboo eat at a single sitting?

None, they'd all be busy paddling each other yelling Weeaboo! Weeaboo! Weeaboo!

Is Al Gore America's greatest president or America's greatest president ?

error unrelocated 1672896-2787297-29638762

Reboot?

Ignore.

Why am I getting my ass kicked in Oblivion so much?

Because you're not oblivious to the world around you.

Who is the smexy?

There is no such smexy.

Why is Dr. Phil such a douche?

He has more relevant knowledge now than you will ever have for the duration of your life.

What would you do if you found 10bux on the ground?

Hide it from Lowtax.

Is it true that the year 1993 will end on the 5000th day?

There's already strong evidence that it has not been 1993 for over a decade, though government scientists seek to minimize the impact of that revelation.

How have you spun information lately?

This is Sean Hannity from Fox News, and we only report the news in a fair and balanced fashion.

How long will it be until the liberal media conspiracy ends?

It will reign until a band of plucky young conservatives gather the three sacred pillars of republicanism and destroy the media tyrant from the lower hells, known to us as Al Gore.

Should I be making contracts with demons?

Only if you get everything in writing. An oral contract isn't worth the parchment it's printed on.

Do I have to sacrifice the cat?

Red colored Kool-Aid will suffice for most demons.

Just what are a TSUDZU and a DELTA?

They are the things that MOJIBAKE WARRIOR BUN uses to spread mojibake throughout the world.

δ三 ← DELTA
三三三つづ ← TSUDZU

Why does Wikichan break so much?

I believe it boils down to being a monetary issue.

What the fuck is mojibake?

Not quite.

Is つづつづつづつづつづつづつづつづつづつづつづつづつづ a mojibake?

I'm pretty sure it's just moji in its raw, uncooked form.

Where did the expressions "animu" and "hentae" originate?

A mockery of the wapanese language!

"Hentai" is an English word now, don't you agree?

test

acknowledged.

Pass or Fail?

( ´ω`) ....bastard.

(・∀・) You got 400GET, grandpa! Why are you cursing?

( ´ω`) but you are one your mother was a slut

why is the sky blue?

A clear cloudless day-time sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light. When we look towards the sun at sunset, we see red and orange colours because the blue light has been scattered out and away from the line of sight.

What does it mean if I can kiss my elbow?

That you dislocated your shoulder.

(屮ﾟДﾟ)屮 WHY do people ask these questions of me?

(・∀・) Actually, I was talking to grandpa.

( ´ω`) WHY don't you go play in traffic?

(・∀・) This thread isn't the right thread

How much is your mass?

More than you can afford, bub.

What happens when a car, made of diamond, hits a wall which is also made of diamond, at 120 kilometers per hour?

It explodes in a HORRIBLE KABLOOEY! sha-bang!

Where can I learn to speak Wapanese?

your doing it right now

how do i get up in the morning?

get what up in the morning?

By lifting your head of off the pillow, pulling off the comforter, and stepping into your slippers.

Why is a soft-bristle toothbrush better than firm?

because I will it so

why do androids dream of electric sheep?

Mostly because Rossum's Universal Robots built their largest factory in New Zealand.

What's your favorite mutton recipe?

Muton Roshi... yes the man in dragonball

what flavour am I?

Cherry Girl!

Soshite otokotte rodeo wo
Umaku nori ko nasa nakya
Ikura abaretetemo
Atashitachi ga oshiete ageru

What's the deal with Saitama, anyway?

Higher than average number of wierd news stories come out of Saitama.

What the fuck is spoobnumby?

a fish?

What do I do with an English major?

Work at Taco Bell!

Why does Chinese food taste the same everywhere?

Because it's always made out of real Chinese people.

Should I take this little freelance gig or hold out for a potentially bigger one?

Take it. Ramen doesn't grow on trees, you know!

So, where are the world's principle ramen mines located?

Right next to the best spaghetti fisheries. Odd as it may sound, these two things have absolutely no correlation.

What was that sound? I swear I heard something.

Weather balloon. Nothing to hear here, folks. Move along.

Why hasn't the aliens came and brought me along for a spectral inter-racial intercourse on the fringes of the universe yet?

Because they have brains the size of a planet, and your skull would explode if they tried to communicate.

Should I write a tell-all biography about 4-ch?

Yes. It would be a great cure for insomniacs the world over.

Who was born in a house full of pain?

Mickey Mouse.

Should I perform a show-it-all biopsy of 4-ch?

Yes, for great justice.

Should we invade MysticWicks?

No, we must continue to single thread invade Dissolute Production's Eragon thread in the TV & Film forum.

Why are ugly women like Rosie O'donnell allowed to be on TV?

Because after years of big-breasted blondes you need something "different" to fap to.

How did IT'S TOO MUCH METAL FOR ONE HAND and IT'S OVER 9000 get mixed together?

They're both variations on the ancient Monty Python archetype, where you start a sentence with "IT'S".

Is it indeed a man's life in the British Dental Association?

I prefer the Custard Pie Appreciation Consortium.

Does Watson communicate in the Sherlock Holmes English Speaking Vernacular?

I hope so, because it doesn't speak Apple. The Mac version of Watson is no longer fully supported as of October 5, 2004. Please stay tuned for more news about future releases of Watson from its licensee, Sun Microsystems.

Why vi?

Why not?

Why not?

No support for MS-Word documents

Isn't it time we stopped the invasion of Dissolute Production's Eragon thread?

It IS time to stop the invasion. Therefore, I am offering this bill for consideration to cut off funding for the invasion force, forcing DQN-kun to bring our boys back home immediately, consequently ending this unfortunate display of adventurism.

Does drinking Rockstar play havoc with my kidneys?

I think it depends how much you drink

Why is it 1993?

The idiots haven't left the internet yet.

What the fuck is wrong with >>439?

I'm sick and fed up with >>437

Will you marry me >>440

I don't know...But Charlie! We're going to Candy Mountain, Charlie. Yeah, Candy Mountain!

What happens when you get to Candy Mountain?

Your teeth defect to Dentiststan.

How come my cock no longer caws?

Because it has no affect.

What is the difference between a state and a commonwealth?

gudrr states is like those thingys that like people live in right and common wealth is when most people is rich then common wealth is for the rich common peoples and stats where they lives at.

can youse please hit me on the head again so my smarts canabee what they was 'for now?

Sure.

　　∧＿∧　　　|　|
　 （　・∀・）
　と　　　　）　
　　 Ｙ　/ノ 　 　 人
　　　 /　）　 　 < 　>_∧∩
　 ＿/し'　／／. Ｖ｀Д´）/ ←>>443
　（＿フ彡　　

Who put the "bomp" in the bomp-du-bomp-du-bomp?

Bompe duBompe of Chantilly Lace, as detailed by the Great and Wise Usenet Oracle.

So, did you upgrade to Vista yet?

If by upgrade you mean buy a boxed copy of Vista Ultimate, shit all over it then posted pics on the Internet, then yes, I did upgrade.

Where do you want to go today?

I wanna go home, mommy.

Are we there yet?

If you ask one more time, I'm going to turn this car around and we're all going straight home.

Can I have another cookie?

If you ask one more time, i'm going to turn this cookie around and shove it in your mouth.

What does DQN stands for?

It actually means "dokyun," the Japanese word for "stupid."

Anta baka?

It stands for "Dee Que Enn"

Was this answer helpful?

Yes, your use of phonetics really stimulated my brain activity, allowing me to easily recall information.

That demonstration of "Hook on Phonics" worked for me. Did it work for you?

Not as much as Easy Spanish. "Step on a chair, see a loose light."
Silla = chair, luz = light. Cool, eh?

Why do people mock my shuffle for its lack of display?

because there is not enough fanservice in it

Why would a cake declare its own deliciousness on DQN?

DQN provides the most appropriate forum to stare down the world and say "Eat me!"

Have you sat on it and rotated?

No, but I did carry out and be w

How come it seems like I'm the only guy fighting against sexual fetishism these days?

Because, in a time, where sexual fetishism runs free, ONE MAN...has the courage to fight against it.

How can I tell which copypasta is Elitist quality from the 4chan quality stuff?

Press near the stem firmly, with your thumb. If it gives in, it is Elitist quality, if it is stiff, it is 4chan quality.

How much longer do I have?

Two weeks.

What is that game?

Battletoads.

Where did I put my keys?

In the lock, duh.

What did you do for the Elitist Superstructure today?

I drowned a baby.

Shit, is that my kid? I think i'm in trouble...

That maybe your kid but you're definitely in trouble. I am an affiliate of Elitist Superstructure and I find baby drowning to be distasteful.

I feel like either taking >>462 off the map or correcting >>462's grammar. What should I do with >>462?

Correct his grammar.

The question is, is the past participle of drown 'drowned' or 'druwn'?

Drowned. Definitely Drowned.

How do you pronounce 'vlog', as in video blog? Can you upload a wave file of yourself saying it somewhere?

No. But it's pronounced like Vlad the Impaler.

Who the hell has a video blog anyhow? Does Vlad the Impaler have one?

Only the foolish and those who lack QUALITY have video "blogs" Vlad the Impaler does not possess a videoblog, but he is an avid user of LiveJournal and a noted writer of gothic poetry.

How can I become a mojibake warrior?

By singing this song while typing pseudo-shift-JIS gibberish:

"I've fallen in love with Vlad the Impaler
And Hitler and Nixon and Ahab the Whaler."

How do I shot web?

By going back to 4chan.

Who am I?

Squeeks.

Who is Squeeks?

Not applicable.

How do I use this... this "head on"?

pucker your lips and blow

Play it again, sam?

hell no!!

What is "American Intelligence"?

A contradiction in terms.

How come it seems like every animu released since 2004 seems to have at least one character with a prominent snaggle tooth?

It makes Tsuruya cuter. nyoro~n.

What can I do with this tiny paper umbrella now that I've removed it from this rum powered concoction?

Swallow it and then make out with your girlfriend while she writhes on you so that the pointed end of the toothpick can puncture through your intestines into other vital organs as it moves through your digestive tract. I love House, M.D. so much.

Will it ever be lupus?

It'll never be lupus

Will House ever realise his show is not as good as Scrubs?

No, his twin (Dr Cox) will kill him in the face before he gets the chance.

Can I do it?

No, but you can fake it.

Can anyone recommend a good RPG?

There are no good RPGs

The president was just kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to save the president?

Yes. He treated me to hamburgers.

How do they make those hamburgers anyway?

By grinding beef, adding egg, some breadcrumbs and seasoning, then cooking on a grill. Serve on a bun with appropriate garnish and condiments.

How the hell do you justify $3.50 for a box of Girl Scout Cookies?!

They're made out of real girl scouts.

Is it can it be hugz tiem pleez?

No, no hugs for those who misquote age-old memetry. Seriously, dude.

What's, like, the most tubular of like all the memes around here and like stuff?

I don't understand your question. Next please!

Doesn't Scrubs suck more than House does?

Scrubs is even stupider than Everybody Loves Raymond, which of course, was completely stupid. So yes, it sucks much more.

Why won't anyone accept Monopoly money when I offer it as payment?

You gotta use it in Canada.

Why is this guy so late in turning around our contract?

He's got no hands, and thus cannot effectively manipulate the paper the contract is printed on.

How do I gained access to private area of VIP quality?

YOU GOTTA BE VIP

How do I get out of here?

Take a left at the Grandpa thread, then a right at the second Oppai thread.

Or was it the other way around?

No, you got it right, but you forgot to mention how >489 has to avoid the squeeks thread at all costs.

How do gay people make babies?

Gay magic.

What should I have for lunch?

Gay magic.

What should I wash my dinner down with?

Gay magic.

What do you call the type of illusionary discipline wherein unexpected and surprising items can be produced from the anus of a man by another man using his no-no?

Gay magic!

What killed Freddy Mercury?

Gay magic.

Wait...what?

Gay magic.

How do I becomes the lesbian, it is?

Magicu no gayu

What school of magic would be most useful for me to learn?

Strawberries.

Now what?

Purple Monkey Dishwasher

How do I ruined thread?

You got 500.

Do you notice your blinking rate now that you have read my question?

Not really. I use w3m and the terminal cursor doesn't blink.

Does anybody fusianasan in 4-ch?

No, but I've got some nasal fusion here instead.

Will that be OK?

Dude, if you can make your nostrils dance, more power to you.

fusianasan isn't a good idea, is it?

Whatever are you talking about?

Is my computer broadcasting an IP address?

(=o=) Your computer is broadcasting your IP address. Download this program to protect yourself from hackers. http://www.opera.com

How did the hackers manage to broadcast my IP address?

Gay magic.

What the fuck is wrong with hackers?

Gay magic.

What's straight magic?

Some sort of christian magic, I'd assume.

I created a monster with the "gay magic" thing, didn't I?

Gay magic.

Gay magic?

　　|￣￣|　　　
＿☆☆☆＿　　　　　
　（；´_⊃｀） 　　Illegal in USA.
　（　　　　つ　　WHAT IS A NIDA?!
　｜ ｜　|　　　
　（_＿）＿）　　

Gay magic.

Is there a bi magic?

BI THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!

Should He-man be called Het-man?

No, but perhaps you can attach that name to Skeletor.

Is it worth buying that snowblower this late in the season?

I wouldn't know, I live in SoCal.

Is Taco Bell trully the paragon of mexican cultural achievement?

I suppose in the way that P.F.Chang's would be the paragon of Chinese cultural achievement.

Why does P.F.Chang's cost so much anyway?

Gay Magic.

Is this a copout?

Gay magic.

I'm too scared to answer questions properly =(. What should I do?

Homosexual Witchcraft.

What's for lunch?

Chinese food, which travels in underground pipelines throughout the world, and that is why it tastes the same everywhere.

I want some Chinese food. (Yes, I know that's not a question. Just answer it already.)

Gay magic.

Did you like my answer?

Gay magic.

Gay magic desu ka?

Iie. Haado geii majiko desu ne.

Is the Internet really a series of tubes?

YES, and it is NOT a truck that you just dump everything in it.

What happens if i put a horadric staff in a horadric Cube?

Gay magic.

Does anyone care that I'm really the person who created "Gay magic", and not >>509?

It transmute to gay magic.

Fallopian tubes or just tubular tubes?

Tubes of the gay variety.

Why are niggers black?

Gay nigger magic.

Why hasn't >>525 realized that I was the one who replied again with "gay magic", even though he might have first used the original phrase?

I don't know, but it clicked with me as well.

How can I become a drag queen?

Dress up like a woman.

How do I not ansewer what you expect?

You didn't resort to using that phrase.

Is it true that the coming of 1994 will be heralded by signs and great omens?

Yes, plenty of gay magic.

You sick of this homosexual warlock agenda yet?

You can't get sick of gay magic. That's impossible.

Would you like some more?

Gay magic? Sure!

Has this thread just become the mystical bumsex thread?

It's moar liek the Arcade Bumstead thread.

Amirite?

No. You are not.

Why do some evil corporate bastards use artificial vanilla instead of the real thing?

Artificial vanilla instead of gay magic? Yes, those bastards!

Why is my laptop no longer working?

It was running on gay magic.

What else could it be?

A poofter warlock might've put a hex on it.

Get it? Laptop? Computer? "hex"?

I don't get it so I'll pull out my trump card: gay magic!

Did you get any chocolate?

No, I'm all out of gay mana to cast a chocolate gay magic spell.

Is it a good idea to post on DQN all day instead of search for love on this Valentine's Day?

Your search for love would be completely fruitless, so no, nothing is wasted.

Do we truly have nothing left to aspire to? Are we really just shells of human beings waiting one day at a time for oblivion to come?

Sometimes, the truth hurts, dear...

Does the truth hurt?

Only when the truth is gay magic.

Should I ask this one girl to be my Valentine? I'm pretty sure she'd say yes, but she lives 1500 miles away.

Only if you have some magical way of having sex with her 1500 miles away.

What's with this "gay magic" shit?

DQN needs a Christian enema.

Do you 'yahoo'?

No, not since Brokeback Mountain.

How sad is this, dicking around on DQN on valentine's day when I could be spending money on officially romantic crap on a corporate-designed faux holiday?

Really sad, almost as sad as the anti-corporate rationalisation you give for being a hikki.

Is 'hikki' an appropriate short form of 'hikkomori'?

I'm not anwsering your stupid question because you need to leave here.

Will you be my valentine?

Not after that.

Will you be my valentine?

Oh you cad, your gay magic has charmed me (^ 3^) Mwa!

Where shall we go for our first date?

Pow! Zip! Right to the moon!

The sitcom form hasn't evolved much over the years, has it?

An argument could be made that content follows the Zeitgeist in such a way that the immutability of some of the conventions works as a metaphor for that of human nature.

Is there a secret I'm just not getting to efficiently picking your nose with your pinky finger?

Not really. The pinky is not flexible enough for precision nasal excavations. Experts recommend that the pinky be relegated to either the swinging of weeaboo-enabled sword replicas or the casting of cup-related gay magic.

So how was your valentine's day?

It had too much gay magic.

How was yours?

It didn't have enough gay magic.

How was your Valentine's Day, >>557?

I had a lot of fun looking at lolicon all day. It truly was a day of love.

Will Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura ever love me as much as I love her?

No fucking way.

Am I cute?

No fucking way.

Yes fucking away?

I mean, I guess.

Has anyone bought lots of cheap chocolate today?

bump

bump

That's not actually a question. So it can't be answered. So this isn't an answer.

How come MODD doesn't strike these flooders down with harsh vengeance?

Because this is DQN, and he would have to use gay magic.

Why is my cat going bald on her belly and ass?

You shave your pussy.

Should I create a wiki article on "Gay Magic" for giggles?

No

Should loli be legalized?

Yes, but screenshot it before it dies.

How long will the article last?

Until October.

What is the password?

Your Mom

What is the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything?

54 in base 13.

What is the ultimate question?

I'm sorry, but I cannot answer a question with another question, it is against my programming.

What is the air speed velocity of an unladened swallow?

"What is the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything?"

So the answer is 41? Am I stupid or something?

No, your math skills are rusty.

What should we do about !-san?

!

!?

I'm on your board spamming it up the way yu spammed up mine. Not as much fun when it's YOU on the recieving end, is it?

I don't know, responding to a single thread invasion with a one-man invasion is sort of tasteful.

How should I decorate my immaturity mansion?

With glorious spam.

I think that the immaturity mansion is the place to be. What should I do to convince the other elitists to follow me there?

I dunno. Maybe we should change our name to "The Immaturity Mansion of DQN"

Is that a ridiculous idea or what?

I don't know, it's been done before.

But how would the Elitist Superstructure react?

Unknowable, since the reaction would be indistinguishable from random occurrance.

How come DQN is the slowest board on 4-ch?

Not many are willing to brave the path to the Immaturity Mansion.

How far must I travel until I reach its very doors?

The Immaturity Mansion is as far away as the farthest arcade, yet as close as your Xbox controller.

Am I qualified to enter?

It depends on the order of you social structure.

Is your social structure superstructure quality, or merely substructure quality?

They disbanded over a disagreement about what sort of pizza to order.

Is Phoenix Wright the best game for the DS?

No. Both Castlevania are.

How could anybody disagree with this?

(屮ﾟДﾟ)屮 WHEN You've discoverd the unending joy of Phoenix Wright, everything else seems inferior.

щ(`Д´щ) WHY are you doing it wrong?

Because doing it right isn't rewarding.

How will we cheer Squeeks up, now that he's feeling all emo?

Tokugawa.

What do you think about the number 2993?

its kinda gay.

how can I refrain from using 4chan memes in questions and answers that is the epicness of dqn?

It's a long way to Tipperary, it's a long way to go.

How long is long?

Why did we suddenly switch to asking the question before giving the answer?

Gay magic.

That's pretty homosexual.

Shouldn't we resume?

Yes.

How old is Grandpa?
( ´ω`) How old am I?

Old enough.

What's the capital of Zaire?

Z.

Canb anyone recommend some really hard RPGs?

Fallout 2

Capital of punishment?

Washington D.C.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

14.

What does "chotto" mean?

It's a verb predicate preparing to point to a person/place/thing/direction that someone/something is "chotting".

Where do you chot to?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5Q6fpgp6CJo Daddy Cool!

Should this go out on the next DQN soundtrack?

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 /＼＿＿_／ヽ　　　　　　　　　　
　　　 (.｀ヽ(｀＞、　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　／''''''　　　'''''':::::　 hello im daddycool the VIPPE Ryes it should get put on the DQN soundtrack and it will give you access to a private area of VIP quality ;)
　　 　 `'＜｀ゝr'ﾌ＼　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　＋　 | （●）,　　､（●）､.:|　＋　　 http://dis.4chan.org/vip/
　 ⊂ｺ二Lﾌ^´　 ノ, ／⌒)　　　　　　 　　　　　　.　　　　|　　,,,ﾉ(､_, )ヽ､,,　.:::|　
　　⊂l二L7_　/　-ゝ-')´　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　.+　|　　 ｀-=ﾆ=- '　.::::::|　+　.　　　　
　　　　　　 ＼_　　､__,.ｲ＼　　　　　　　　　　　＋　　　　 ＼　　 ｀ﾆﾆ´　 .::／　　　　+　
　　　　　　　　(T＿_ノ　　 Tヽ　　　　　　　 , -r'⌒!￣ `":::7ヽ.｀- ､　　　./|　　.　
　　　　　　　　　ヽ¬.　　　/　ﾉ`ｰ-､ﾍ<ｰ1´|　 ヽ　| :::::::::::::ﾄ、 ＼　(　../ ヽ　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　＼l__,.／　　 　 　 i　l.ヽ!　|　　　.| ::::::::::::::l ヽ 　 ｀７ｰ.､‐'´|＼-､]

When will Duke Nukem Forever come out?

Divide infinity by 0.00 for your answer.

Wait, there was a first DQN Soundtrack?

It will go platinum if we unite our wills and hearts as one.

Is this game DQN quality? http://youtube.com/watch?v=4eWGeO_IYHo

Hey! No linking to the extranet, you silly fool!

When will the remix album be released?

Did I post in the right topic?

No.

Should we change the name of the DQN board? Perhaps back to the Forbidden Garden of DQN?

I think it should be the Gay Magic of DQN instead.

What the fuck was that, Elwood?

A very bizarre meme.

What about The Immaturity Mansion of DQN?

The immaturity mansion isnt that popular, sadly.

Why did I do it for the lols?

Because you thought that lols were worth it. (They weren't. Silly harman.)

What do I have to do to get some bra!nz in here?

Theres nothing you can do, there are NO BRAINS HERE, ITS DQN, DURRRRRRRR

How many posters are there here, really?

Eight. Don't tell anyone.

Why do I spend so much time on DQN, that it actually cuts into my sleep and makes me almost late for work?

Gay magic compels you.

Hasn't the Elitist Superstructure gag got a bit old by now?

It isn't a gag, it's a way of life.

How do I get to the Forbidden Garden from the Immaturity Mansion?

You can't, it's forbidden.

Hasn't the grandpa gag got a bit old by now?

Well he is grandpa after all.

Hasn't grandpa's ball gag got a little old by now?