What happened to 1000get?!
Because they think instead of feeling.
Why can't I ever come up with anything clever or funny?
I could come up with a witty response to that, but I'm too busy being clever and funny.
Why can't I get girls to suck on my penor?
because you dont know how to read.
why is water wet?
Wet is what we describe our skin contact with water. Water is wet, because we called it wet, it might as well be called dry.
What happens if don't think.
Then you feel, and become tansζζ
Why do weeaboos post anti-Korean racist material here that doesn't even make sense in terms of American stereotypes? Nida, indeed.
Because it's funny, nigga.
Why do people keep on using the word "weeaboo" long after it stopped to be funny?
Because it has replaced the word that it originated from and entered everyday usage.
Why to VIPPERS think it's funny to use the word "nigga"?
In their minds, racism can be kawaii! (That's japanese for pink)
My office is freezing. Should I go with a ceramic or a quartz heater?
Go with an atomic heater. That'll keep your cockles warm and toasty.
What should I dissolve in some other what to get to the final solution?
Hot Milk and Cocoa Powder.
In what food group would I find the Marshmallow Peep?
Probably in the food group of non-edible substances.
Who's your favorite character from Ichigo Marshimaro?
It definitely has to be the ferret, as seen on http://www.secchan.net/niche/src/1137461346390.jpg
So, do you eat the chocolate bunny's ears first?
Of course, it makes them look funny.
Can one use a chocolate dildo as a masturbatory aid?
if it is a dildo then obviously yes by definition.
should i forfeit?
yes.
forfeit what?
My right to forfeit.
What else can I do?
<4chan> become an hero</4chan>
>>734 Thanks for that.
Why can't we lobby the W3C to officially support the <aa> HTML tags?
I don't see why we cant.
What can I/we do to help lobby the W3C for said <aa> tags?
Write up a specification using their godforsaken yet workable spec-ese, submit it for review and otherwise throw away... I mean dedicate three years of your life to a feature programmers will implement in all of twelve minutes and test in three.
Did that sound at all cynical?
yes, it does actually.
where should one go to learn how to do such things?
Slightly.
Have you been personally scorned by the W3C?
No!
And who do I write to complain about that?
The Bureau of Letters of Complaint.
I wonder what happened to them, anyway; do they still exist?
I wonder as well.
What would you do if you won $370 million, I wonder?
Buy anime.
Which anime should I buy first?
Bobobobo Bobobo.
Why?
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo is a comedy that uses puns, non sequiturs, double-talk, breaking of the fourth wall, non-sexualized cross-dressing, visual gags, and satirical and pop-culture references, which make its humor very specific to Japanese audiences (much in the same way The Simpsons is often not as accessible to non-native English-speaking audiences).
What is Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo?
The name of a retarded monkey.
What's your favorite color?
Blue
What happens when you die?
Your family disposes of your body in the way you had specified. Friends, relatives and neighbors come over and eat food and talk about you, preferably in a nice way. Perhaps someday, one of your relatives will name a baby after you.
How do you make an elephant float?
Fatten it up real good by sending it to America.
Why are the portions so large at restaurants these days?
They've been cooking up the elephants you've been sending, duh.
How many trashcans can you make out of one fully grown African elephant?
1 million if they are built to the specification of Chinese generics.
1,000 if they are built to withstand the rigors of coal mining in America.
1 if it can hold 10(-100,000,000)% of the political bullishit on Earth.
Has anybody ever succeded in elephant beastiality?
Only if you count elephant paedo-bestiality.
What's the proper age of consent for elephants?
Because you define the word "nerd".
Am I right or am I right?
Neither, and you know it.
Should we all "Embrace the Suck" or fight it?
That's quite a funny question to be asking on this board!
Seeing as we're not quite dead yet, what exactly happened with regard to Squeeks', ehm, episode?
He got better.
Would you travel around the world if given the chance?
The official explanation is that Squeeks is suffering from 'exhaustion', and discretion demands that I simply leave it at that.
Do you have a preferred euphemism?
Depends on how long he spends travelling 'round the world.
What country should I personally visit next as the Ambassador of DQN?
/love/
What is the current overall 'feeling' of the internet?
Maybe when they Chinese clean up their smog, give up smoking, use and enforce patents and copyrights, and properly heat-treat metals until they reach optimum durability.
How do the underpants gnomes handle sharts?
That's in the secret portion of their three-step plan, denoted by "2. ??????"
Why Ned Beatty? Why?
Beating Neddy would be worse, I guess.
Could you say cheese, please?
I dunno. Probably from Wisconsin or something.
What's up with Wisconsin?
I dunno. Probably occupied by >>766 or something.
How can I dress for success?
By undressing before failure.
How would I go around, you know, uhmm... sexing up an automobile?
Fuck it in the exhaust pipe.
What's the best way to get a girl?
(Confusion at the lack of a question)
How would MODD punish >>772 for violating the rules of this thread?
With the B&HAMMAR, of course.
Why do my cats keep jumping on the keyboard while I'm trying to surf the Web tonight?
They want you to look at CP.
Is 'cat pictures' the first thing that came to your mind when you saw 'CP?'
No, I thought of "corporate propaganda".
I mean, what else is there?
One that doesn't have any wires, at all. Might not be the best, but it'll certainly be the most wireless.
In what context could I use the mega-contraction "wouldn't've'd"?
"Would not have done?" Obviously, when you would have not done something.
Is >>778's abuse of the English language permissible?
Although the Elitist Superstructure finds it distasteful, they will permit it under the condition that >>778 immediately consults a grammarian.
What should I have for dinner?
Sata andagi.
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me
don't hurt me
no more!
why do we allways hurt the ones we love?
because.
why?
because.
why?
Gay magic!
Did I just discover the "because? why?" combo breaker?
Yeah.
Next question?
Is not a question, but an imperative, requesting someone ask a question.
Does the Elitist Superstructure allow one to use imperatives in such a way when posting?
If such a convention were found distasteful, you would know. Or rather, you wouldn't, and the rest of us wouldn't either.
How do I ZOT web?
First you have to charge your lazor. Then you shout "shoop da whoop" and zot web.
When did you people start using "zot" as a verb? Have you been reading the Usenet Oracle again?
It probably was used as a verb when somebody intended to type some other verb, but sneezed, causing zot to be posted as a verb.
(Puzzled appearance)
How could somebody make the same mistake after only a few posts?
Einstein said that only two things in the universe are truly limitless, hydrogen and human stupidity. And the more time I spend in DQN, the more I doubt hydrogen.
Why are people posting old, busted, lame, worn-out 4chan memes here when this thread has the potential for genuine original comedy?
You mean like gay magic? That fail of a shit hasn't caught on anywhere else on 4-ch, let alone the greater intarwebs.
How come grandpa is so popular, yet genuinely funny gags like DAMAGE CONTROL struggle for recognition?
Because they're easy to use and the key term CATCH means the phrase is fucking CATCHY. Which sucks, its like those songs on the radio which blow ass but you cant get out of your head.
Are DQN people better people or are we just the only 6 people on the internet who understand anything?
I like to think of us as the 6 kind of jaunty, intellectual, cheeky social commenters who laugh at everything including ourselves, the chill guys for the internet generation.
How many paperclips do I have in my hand?
It is what you make of it.
How often do obscure pop culture references come up two posts from now?
It depends on what the meaning of "is" is.
How come the Eragon single thread invasion is the top Google hit for "becoming Japanese for real"?
I blame gay magic.
What's the latest fad?
My new single. It's called "Doobaroo on a boat in the Sea Sea Sea~~Umi Umi~Mar STAR!~!"I wrote it myself.
Would you like to hear it?
No.
Where did I leave my car keys?
They're in the hamper in the pocket of the pants you wore yesterday.
Is my dog finally getting enough cheese in his diet?
Only if he shits bricks.
Has anybody ever beaten Goatse in an asshole contest?
I'm so not going there.
What song should I use for my cell phone?
"I hate myself and want to die, because it's winter" by DQN-kun. Duh.
But which remix?
"All Alone for Ramadan." It's the best of them all.
Why shouldn't we annex Canada?
STRUCTURED REPLY THREAD
That's not much of a decent reason why Ontario shouldn't become the 51st state, now, is it?
So... that being said, What should we do with Quebec?
There's only one proper response: "BLOW IT ALL UP!"
Which had better songs: Guitar Hero 1 or 2?
Beatmania IIDX of course.
Why does Pop'n Music suck so much?
But where would you run to in event of a draft?
Don't register to vote is all I can say.
Why did the last two people in this thread not follow the theme?
It's elitist humour. You're not supposed to explain it.
Is the Elitist Superstructure above or below the Zionist Conspiracy in the hierarchy?
It depends which hierarchy your talking about. In terms of the relative existence-onism, we rank way higher, but on the ladder of arrogance, we rank way higher as well.
How many days have September, April, Junior, Grandpanember?
