What happened to 1000get?!
As many as Febluberry *4.
What contributes more to global warming, cow farts or beer belches?
I think DQN posts contribute more than both combined.
How much time does the planet have left before everything explodes?
Two weeks.
How long will it have if the six of us stop posting?
Three weeks.
Does anyone else have an escape plan?
Two weeks.
Does understanding that answer make you a genius?
Hell yes. (I don't understand that answer. Neither did you.)
If the Elitist Superstructure and the Gnomes of Zürich had a fight, who'd win?
Humanity.
Why is my cat digging frantically in the litterbox and yowling?
Invisible mice in the litterbox.
What is the last digit of pi?
Squid.
Why does my cat keep reaching under the door and grabbing things I put near her? Does she want something in particular?
LSD in the cat food. (that's why she does it, that's not what she wants) What she wants is a hug.
What is it about cats that makes us love them so? Why is a cat fine too?
Because some of us cannot afford to be choosey.
That being said, what is the best way to give a cat a bath?
Well, the first step is to write your will.
What comes after that?
The good old bathtub, dunk, chickenwire method works pretty well.
How come these w's always keep carrying out fnord?
Because all things can be carried out and are wwwwwwwwwww.
Linux or Windows?
U noob, Mac of course.
What was the question again?
Way to pre-empt the thread structure there, dude.
Why do some people insist on posting ITT if they only have a question, or an answer, but not both?
Because it's always September, somewhere on the net.
What's this?
Because you forgot to scratch it.
Should I avoid the itch to stay at my computer and go to bed?
No. You'll sleep better if you stay at the computer until you're sleepy.
Oops, forgot to ask a question.
Why does the porridge bird lay his egg in the air?
To train the babies to fly early on.
Why didn't my mom throw me out of the plane?
because she loves you
Why did my mom throw me out of the plane?
>>840
because she loves you
how did you get those pictures on the computer
They came with it, I swear!
Should I take up badminton?
No. If it were worthwhile it would be called "goodminton."
If free will is an illusion, then who's that who says "who's that" when I say "who's that?"
It could be someone else, or it could be you. But ultimately that someone else is controlled by you. Unless it was really someone else.
Was "Free Willy" a flap in the UK?
It did ok, but it did cause a lot of sniggering and queues of gay magicians.
Are there any reverse examples? For instance, does, say "Love Actually" mean "Do me up the shitter" in Amerikkka?
Well, just to drop an example, it is said that "gay magic" actually refers to elaborate rituals performed in connection to homosexuality, not necessarily by homosexuals themselves, and in contrast to the usual meaning of "magic", which refers to sleight of hand performed on-stage.
Why isn't biting the head off a chicken a meme?
Because the concept is not easily communicable through textual means.
Why was WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY a successful meme?
>>847 because it's the most important incantation in the field of gay magic.
If you were a master of gay magic, would you use it to attract men or women?
I'd use it to summon the ghost of Liberace. That's what I'd do. I'd be the baddest homosexual necromancer around.
What's the worst insult of them all? No really, I mean the worst.
Your Mom!
Should I switch to Linux, or stick with an operating system that works?
It never got better than MSDOS 5.0
Can I have a pony?
Not unless you finish your vegetables.
What should we have for dinner tonight, honey?
Six tons of vegetables. >>851 deserves a pony if he finishes that.
Which makes me wonder: If you could hybrid vegetables with ponies, which vegetable would be the most practical and why?
The guava. They are the superior choice simply because the result would be named poguva.
What will we do now that DQN has started on its slow slide into obscurity and suck?
We briefly shake our heads in shame, but do not dwell on the past and instead look towards a brighter future, possibly a future somewhere else.
Will September 5000 be a turning point for DQN?
No, but it'll be on the O RLY? Factor.
Is DQN fair and balanced?
No, it is mostly composed of slanties, niggers, chuweros and inbred trailer trash with a grossly enlarged right cerebral hemisphere.
Is Squeeks feeling better now?
After rallying, he's suffered a setback and the bonitis has spread to his major organ.
After Squeeks is gone, there will only be four posters left. Will that be enough to sustain 4-ch?
One of us will have to make like a cell and multiply asexually to make up for the loss.
How much genetic material does it take to sustain a viable DQN?
About as much as what gets shot out during one masturbation session after 3 weeks of non-fapping.
When will there be a large number of Chinese girls with huge boobs?
Never. They will all be replaced by a chinese number of large girls with large boobs.
No question? Intolerable! I shall provide one.
How many days can one go without DQN before life becomes meaningless?
I think I could last at least until the end of September.
What should I do about this crushing sense of ennui?
Find an engaging, preferably outdoor hobby and replace Internet-lounging with it.
Why didn't that work for me?
You're too self aware.
Over eons, does even death die?
Stop reading Lovecraft, moron.
The only thing worth your attention is The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.
How does I became Koreans?
Eat many cat.
How do I keep my mittens from shrinking in the wash?
Upgrade them to maximum level using a rainbow diamond.
Who came first, Rei or Grandpa ?
Grandpa fissioned off from the first amoeba. Rei was cloned from Lilith, who came into being on the sixth day. Grandpa farts dust; Rei is more like vanilla. Grandpa wins.
What attacks do mittens give you when they hit max?
They hit Max in the face with little smek smek noises and confuse him.
Why do the fanboys obsess over Rei when the non-jailbait Eva girls (by which I mean Misato and Ritsuko) are so much hotter?
Because Rei doesn't fight and scream when you rape her, she only asks you to move.
Are redheads sexier than bluetops?
It's not tops you need to be looking at, it's the bottoms!
You agree with me that red is better, then?
No, generally when I am given a color choice I will pick orange or blue. Except with pencils. Pencils look snazzy in red.
Is it just me or is your hairline receding?
You're the one receding; my hairline is standing still.
What's the coolest way to confess to a girl in one sentence?
Love notes written in menstrual blood, respectively.
How can I enlarge my penis?
>>875
Bare hands do not deliver enough energy. Carry out masturbation using steel gloves (mittens are the forbidden thing, so please refrain from using them) until satisfied. By acknowledging this technique you also certify you will not hold the elitist superstructure responsible if you break your penis and/or the gloves as a result of using too much metal for one hand.
What is >>1000 about ?
>>1000 is the celebration of new life
How do I kill Frigid Onanoko?
With plenty of friggin onani, ok.
What is orange-colored, flies through the air like a thrown orange and is round like an orange?
I'm thinking "an orange" would satisfy all those requirements, and you didn't actually specify that it had to be something else, so that's my final answer.
Who ate all the Cracklin' Oat Bran?
Conan O'Brien
Did Rei get fired from McDonald's for refusing to smile?
Yes.
How do I shot web?
4chan, probably.
How do we exterminate them?
Lighter, hairspray, good aim.
What is the meaning of life?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meaning_of_life
What is Love?
Love is over, baby don't love me, no more.
Why aren't you into things?
/⌒|＿__／⌒ヽ
○。 | .| ヽ /。/
＜| .| |ﾉ/ / ・ Go away, GO AWAY!!!
。・ | 丶 ヽ./
ヽ ヽ Why do you have to ask such difficult things?
＼ ＼
＼ ＼
/ 丿＼
/ ／＼ ＼
／ ／ ＼ .＼
／ ／ ＼ ヽ
丿⌒￣￣￣⌒ ／ ノ⌒￣￣￣ 丿
|＿つ￣￣￣￣￣ |＿つ￣￣￣￣￣
I'm not into the whole asking easy questions thing.
How do I get these damned bugs out from under my skin?
You've got Morgellons Syndrome. Congratulations.
Why do I feel dizzy right now?
You have played too much Guilty Gear and now think you're feeling up Dizzy.
If I feel up Bridget, what will I discover?
Please refer to this thread :
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1173833355/
Is there a future ?
No.
Who are you and why are you stalking me?
George 'Big Ears' Bush and it's none of your fucking business.
Should we bomb the hell out of Iran?
Only with gay bombs.
What is the best hair color to go with my skin tone?
Do a Britney and shave it all off. Goes with everything.
Why don't you turn off your computer and go for a walk for once?
Walks are for people with girlfriends.
Where can I hide the mittens to guarantee that nobody ever talks about them again?
In Kindness-san's backyard.
Is there actually any call for translators from dutch to english?
Only in the pornography business. And they can't import dutch pr0ns to english-speaking areas due to prudery.
Why do wire clotheshangers always become tangled up when more than one are placed in the same out-of-sight spot?
The answer is (and always will be, to every question) 42
Why do all the Grand Theft Auto sequels have at least 5 continuity errors?
42.
Is 42 funny?
No. Way to ruin a 900GET, loser.
Are tripcodes funny?
Yeah!
You saw my tripcode?
No. Selective blindness. Obliviatus flatulens, as the doc calls it.
What's the opposite of a yellow submarine?
Two iguanas in serparate jars filled with cornflakes.
Will I ever be able to play the piano again?
It is a possibility. First you are going to have to overcome the PTSD caused by getting your finger stuck between two keys.
That's not a question.
What's wrong with you!?
Because one bad thing happening to good people just isnt fair.
Whats the best way to masturbate?
Riding the city bus wearing a hoodie and lace panties.
how does a polar bear know what apples is?!
Because the zookeeper fed it to them before.
Why is the bus so late?
Because the world hates you and wants you to suffer.
Why have all my friends gone to Barcelona at the same time? It's not like they know eachother.
That's what they want you to think. Your friends are all members of the bavarian illuminati and seek to put the world, and you, beneath their fiendish feet.
If the universe keeps expanding, how come my chocolate bar isn't getting bigger?
Because you're eating it too quickly.
Would you rather be followed by 40 ducks for the rest of your life?
Yeah, I would! Juicy gamey duck meat for the rest of my life.
Why does everything have to have an end?
Without ends, there'd be no buttsex. That is clearly impossible.
How do I get out of a locked safe from the inside?
Most lockables have a glow in the dark handle that unlocks it.
If a business only deals with nanomachines, doesn't that mean it will always be a small business?
Small business usually refers to income, taxes, whether the company is public or private and so on, basically a measure of the average value of a company, and not the size of their products. So, no.
How do I catch a Golden Pidgey?