ITT we solve the question above us II. (999)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4723 15:54

What happened to 1000get?!

850 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4952 20:44

Your Mom!

Should I switch to Linux, or stick with an operating system that works?

851 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4952 21:03

It never got better than MSDOS 5.0

Can I have a pony?

852 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4952 21:42

Not unless you finish your vegetables.

What should we have for dinner tonight, honey?

853 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4953 08:49

Six tons of vegetables. >>851 deserves a pony if he finishes that.

Which makes me wonder: If you could hybrid vegetables with ponies, which vegetable would be the most practical and why?

854 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4954 00:00

The guava. They are the superior choice simply because the result would be named poguva.

What will we do now that DQN has started on its slow slide into obscurity and suck?

855 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4954 00:06

We briefly shake our heads in shame, but do not dwell on the past and instead look towards a brighter future, possibly a future somewhere else.

Will September 5000 be a turning point for DQN?

856 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4954 01:07

No, but it'll be on the O RLY? Factor.

Is DQN fair and balanced?

857 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4955 11:24

No, it is mostly composed of slanties, niggers, chuweros and inbred trailer trash with a grossly enlarged right cerebral hemisphere.

Is Squeeks feeling better now?

858 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4955 15:04

After rallying, he's suffered a setback and the bonitis has spread to his major organ.

After Squeeks is gone, there will only be four posters left. Will that be enough to sustain 4-ch?

859 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4955 21:10

One of us will have to make like a cell and multiply asexually to make up for the loss.

How much genetic material does it take to sustain a viable DQN?

860 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4957 02:30

About as much as what gets shot out during one masturbation session after 3 weeks of non-fapping.

When will there be a large number of Chinese girls with huge boobs?

861 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4957 14:00

Never. They will all be replaced by a chinese number of large girls with large boobs.

862 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4958 18:25

No question? Intolerable! I shall provide one.

How many days can one go without DQN before life becomes meaningless?

863 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4958 23:16

I think I could last at least until the end of September.

What should I do about this crushing sense of ennui?

864 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4958 23:40

Find an engaging, preferably outdoor hobby and replace Internet-lounging with it.

Why didn't that work for me?

865 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 00:30

You're too self aware.

Over eons, does even death die?

866 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 01:53

Stop reading Lovecraft, moron.

The only thing worth your attention is The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

How does I became Koreans?

867 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 06:57

Eat many cat.

How do I keep my mittens from shrinking in the wash?

868 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 10:26

Upgrade them to maximum level using a rainbow diamond.

Who came first, Rei or Grandpa ?

869 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 13:39

Grandpa fissioned off from the first amoeba. Rei was cloned from Lilith, who came into being on the sixth day. Grandpa farts dust; Rei is more like vanilla. Grandpa wins.

What attacks do mittens give you when they hit max?

870 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 16:12

They hit Max in the face with little smek smek noises and confuse him.

Why do the fanboys obsess over Rei when the non-jailbait Eva girls (by which I mean Misato and Ritsuko) are so much hotter?

871 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 18:38

Because Rei doesn't fight and scream when you rape her, she only asks you to move.

Are redheads sexier than bluetops?

872 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 22:25

It's not tops you need to be looking at, it's the bottoms!

You agree with me that red is better, then?

873 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4959 22:33

No, generally when I am given a color choice I will pick orange or blue. Except with pencils. Pencils look snazzy in red.

Is it just me or is your hairline receding?

874 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4960 02:31

You're the one receding; my hairline is standing still.

What's the coolest way to confess to a girl in one sentence?

875 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4960 03:03

Love notes written in menstrual blood, respectively.

How can I enlarge my penis?

876 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4960 16:46

>>875
Bare hands do not deliver enough energy. Carry out masturbation using steel gloves (mittens are the forbidden thing, so please refrain from using them) until satisfied. By acknowledging this technique you also certify you will not hold the elitist superstructure responsible if you break your penis and/or the gloves as a result of using too much metal for one hand.

What is >>1000 about ?

877 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4960 18:49

>>1000 is the celebration of new life

How do I kill Frigid Onanoko?

878 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4960 19:26

With plenty of friggin onani, ok.

What is orange-colored, flies through the air like a thrown orange and is round like an orange?

879 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4960 19:56

I'm thinking "an orange" would satisfy all those requirements, and you didn't actually specify that it had to be something else, so that's my final answer.

Who ate all the Cracklin' Oat Bran?

880 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4960 22:37

Conan O'Brien

Did Rei get fired from McDonald's for refusing to smile?

881 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 01:58

Yes.

How do I shot web?

882 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 05:17

Stop posting.

Where did all these idiots come from?

883 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 05:22

4chan, probably.

How do we exterminate them?

884 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 09:49

Lighter, hairspray, good aim.

What is the meaning of life?

886 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 12:43

Love is over, baby don't love me, no more.

Why aren't you into things?

887 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 19:10

         /⌒|___/⌒ヽ
      ○。 |  .|   ヽ /。/
        <|  .|   |ノ/ /  ・  Go away, GO AWAY!!!
   。・    | 丶    ヽ./
         ヽ     ヽ          Why do you have to ask such difficult things?
          \     \
            \     \
             /    丿\
            /   /\  \
           /  /   \  .\
          /  /      \  ヽ
丿⌒ ̄ ̄ ̄⌒   /  ノ⌒ ̄ ̄ ̄   丿
|_つ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄    |_つ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄

888 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 21:08

I'm not into the whole asking easy questions thing.

How do I get these damned bugs out from under my skin?

889 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 21:28

You've got Morgellons Syndrome. Congratulations.

Why do I feel dizzy right now?

890 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 22:20

You have played too much Guilty Gear and now think you're feeling up Dizzy.

If I feel up Bridget, what will I discover?

891 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4961 22:26

Please refer to this thread :
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1173833355/

Is there a future ?

892 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 09:48

No.

Who are you and why are you stalking me?

893 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 14:30

George 'Big Ears' Bush and it's none of your fucking business.

Should we bomb the hell out of Iran?

894 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 16:32

Only with gay bombs.

What is the best hair color to go with my skin tone?

895 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 17:53

Do a Britney and shave it all off. Goes with everything.

Why don't you turn off your computer and go for a walk for once?

896 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 19:09

Walks are for people with girlfriends.

Where can I hide the mittens to guarantee that nobody ever talks about them again?

897 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 21:04

In Kindness-san's backyard.

Is there actually any call for translators from dutch to english?

898 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 21:35

Only in the pornography business. And they can't import dutch pr0ns to english-speaking areas due to prudery.

Why do wire clotheshangers always become tangled up when more than one are placed in the same out-of-sight spot?

899 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 21:45

The answer is (and always will be, to every question) 42

Why do all the Grand Theft Auto sequels have at least 5 continuity errors?

900 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 22:10

42.

Is 42 funny?

901 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 22:13

No. Way to ruin a 900GET, loser.

Are tripcodes funny?

902 Name: trip!FagFRlO9Nw : 1993-09-4962 22:26

Yeah!

You saw my tripcode?

903 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 22:53

No. Selective blindness. Obliviatus flatulens, as the doc calls it.

What's the opposite of a yellow submarine?

904 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 23:05

Two iguanas in serparate jars filled with cornflakes.

Will I ever be able to play the piano again?

905 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 23:10

It is a possibility. First you are going to have to overcome the PTSD caused by getting your finger stuck between two keys.

906 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4962 23:23

That's not a question.

What's wrong with you!?

907 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 01:03

>>906

Advanced Syphillis

Why to bad thing happen to good people?

908 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 01:29

Because one bad thing happening to good people just isnt fair.

Whats the best way to masturbate?

909 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 02:28

>>908

Riding the city bus wearing a hoodie and lace panties.

how does a polar bear know what apples is?!

910 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 05:29

Because the zookeeper fed it to them before.

Why is the bus so late?

911 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 09:15

Because the world hates you and wants you to suffer.

Why have all my friends gone to Barcelona at the same time? It's not like they know eachother.

912 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 10:04

That's what they want you to think. Your friends are all members of the bavarian illuminati and seek to put the world, and you, beneath their fiendish feet.

If the universe keeps expanding, how come my chocolate bar isn't getting bigger?

913 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 12:19

Because you're eating it too quickly.

Would you rather be followed by 40 ducks for the rest of your life?

914 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 16:00

Yeah, I would! Juicy gamey duck meat for the rest of my life.

Why does everything have to have an end?

915 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 21:38

Without ends, there'd be no buttsex. That is clearly impossible.

How do I get out of a locked safe from the inside?

916 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4963 22:31

Most lockables have a glow in the dark handle that unlocks it.

If a business only deals with nanomachines, doesn't that mean it will always be a small business?

917 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4964 19:18

Small business usually refers to income, taxes, whether the company is public or private and so on, basically a measure of the average value of a company, and not the size of their products. So, no.

How do I catch a Golden Pidgey?

918 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4964 20:32

PRO TIP: Catch it until its cought

Want fries with that?

919 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4964 20:53

Yeah, and supersize it!

How do I lose 5kg? it's almost swimsuit season!

920 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4964 21:11

Eat a tapeworm egg.

I'm a guy. How do I make myself look sexy in a bikini?

921 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4964 22:02

Get Lorena Bobbit to make your wang fit better.

Ha sKim Jong Il ever seen the movie Team America World Police?

922 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4964 22:22

no, skim is a type of milk and therefore unable to patronize the theater.

do you love me?

923 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 01:51

how about that 1000 get ?

924 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 01:53

>>922 i love all that is VIP

>>923 gone for goodness

what do you feel about YMCK

925 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 02:40

Its not as gay as YMCA

Is 4-ch Vip quality?

926 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 09:50

Not only VIP, but also DQN and Elitist

Would fapping break a vow of chastity?

927 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 09:57

No, but it might break a vow of silence.

How come there's 6 eggs in a carton rather than 8 or 4?

928 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 11:59

Because i created it to be that way <(ºω º;)!

How come this is so VIP ?

929 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 16:09

Because everyone loves unoriginal threads.

Why am I so addicted to 4-ch?

930 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 18:51

It's that old secret sauce and special herbs that keeps it tasty, fresh, and you wanting more and more and more!

Why don't people understand that if they want quality support, they have to pay for it somehow?

931 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4965 20:56

They're so used to QUALITY support that they've begun to fend for themselves in that "cute until they bite your head off", mildly superstitious way.

What happens when they gain enough confidence to do work on AC power lines?

932 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4966 02:14

They won't think. They'll feel, and be electrocuted.

What would they do without that confidence?

933 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4966 03:38

They'd not think, feel, and be tanasinn.

Is one truly the loneliest number? I thought 0 would be.

934 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4966 14:28

Zero is a uniter, not a divider.

Anyway, what's so good about today?

935 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4966 15:06

Nothing.

Why is there so much gay magic here now?

936 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4966 16:30

Because you, and only you, keep posting about it.

Why do people with no sense of humor insist on trying to be funny?

937 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4966 20:14

Humans have a natural tendency to reach out for what they can't have.

Why do I keep hearing people say we have three-dimensional vision?

938 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4966 21:26

Because they don't understand how the eye works.

Where am I?

939 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 01:09

DQN on 4-ch.net. The address bar on your Internet browser is your friend.

Who are you?

940 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 01:11

I Am.

Snoo Snoo?

941 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 01:14

We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

What will life like be in the year 3000?

942 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 15:00

There will be no year 3000. It all ends in 2012. DUHHH.

Why?

943 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 16:07

Because I said so.

Why ask why?

944 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 16:35

Because we're stuck at the level of a 3-year old, who likes to get a reaction out of their parents by repeatedly asking why.

Why?

945 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 17:16

Because.

What is love?

946 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 23:31

Baby don't hurt me; don't hurt me, no more.

What's your favorite song ever?

947 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4967 23:43

Bless yourself bleed.

Have you heard of it?

948 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4968 18:11

No. Go lock yourself in a room with no water or food for two weeks, please.

Why is no one smart enough to hold an interesting conversation with me?

949 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4968 18:29

Rotten lettuce. That's why.

Why am I so smart?

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