4 + 4 = ?
? = 8
What is love?
The white things come out from your penis
Describe Anime ?
It's better than reality.
What kind of country is Bosnia, anyway?
Full of strife and self-created problems.
Why does the entry text blink?
>>5 because squeeks put textarea(text-decoration:blink); in the header and you didn't go into about:config and set browser.blink_allowed to false
Mine doens't blink.. haha
Why does this thread suck?
>>6
squeeks didn't do that. i did.
i didn't set browser.blink_allowed and mine doesn't blink because khtml > gecko.
> Why does this thread suck?
because it lacks:
What's a wapanese?
Everyone on this board.
What is the rest mass of a proton (in units of MeV/c^2)?
Is that an African or European proton?
Why is this textbox blinking?
(EΝE) >>6
(EΝE) Grandpa, why is Captain Obvious stealing our gig?
( LΦ`) That guy has always been jealous of our success.
( LΦ`) What's that gay noise?
Moot fucking snacks without lube.
What does jappafag mean?
It's a new breed of pokemon.
What's the best icecream flavor?
The early bird gets the worm.
Where does love go?
because the cats kept shitting on your pillow.
Why is a chicken?
Why not?
How?
lol what?
So, what is your current situation in life?
Directly in jail. Not passing go. Not collecting $200.
Do you remember love?
How could I forget our passionate days of love, >>20?
What is the best Linux Distro?
I remember wanting sex.
Do you have plans for tonight?
Maybe I'm gonna hang out with a friend, but I was up until 6:30 playing CS tonight so I might not 'cause I'm really daffy now.
Do you think CS is fun?
CS is fun to watch and to participate in.
In the end, did it even matter?
You didn't try hard enough, didn't get far enough.... so, no.
Do we really need 5 country radio stations in my hometown?
We don't need 5 country radio stations ANYWHERE.
Are condi and hillary going to compete for president in 2008?
God, I hope not.
I've had enough of your bullshit, kid. Did the bad man or did he not touch your pee-pee?
Does it count if I raped him?
What's the best movie ever?
Dr. Strangelove, or 'How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb'.
Did you know Slobodan Milosevic died today?
Yes, I heard it on the news at the laundromat
What's the ugliest part of your body?
Your face.
Why do all the girls i like end up in jail?
You should start dating men.
Will George W Bush be remembered by the world as the third Antichrist?
No, much like Reagan, Bush's greatness will be remembered fondly while his foibles will be put into proper perspective
Why is it that Corea is so beloved the whole world over?
Beef Curry!!!
Where can we found CP torrent ?
Masturbate until your dick falls off.
What is the most vile and disgusting thing on the internets?
Personal Weblogs.
Will Newt Gingrich consent to be Hillary's Veep?
save yourself the money if your current computer isn't complete crap.
Where do I download Winny?
www.google.com
What's the best board on iichan's sidebar?
Sad Girls in Snow, of course.
I wonder if >>40 tried looking at http://www.sofotex.com/WinNY-download_L20801.html ?
>>41 mods
>>41 .mod, ribbon, bijin. the rest is cool too.
You didn't ask a question, so I laugh at you like the silly king you are!
What's the worst board on the iichan sidebar?
4-ch DQN
Where do babies come from?
4-ch DQN
Is it nobler in the mind to face the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?
Sorry, Shakepere makes my head hurt.
Don't think, Feel! and you'll be?
s`m`rhmm
ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ?
Mittens
Mittens?
( ί ί) MITTENS!
Is now a good time to visit New Orleans?
Certainly
What is this thread about?
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1142225437/
<@EΝE> Foolish people who have been taken in by Japan's lies
<@EΝE> Why is it no other nation comes close to being as great or as loved as korea is?
Because it would mean they'd be settling for less
How do you find VIP, DQN or IAA on your ID?
By the power of KAMI...
Who was the first person to post a fucking ascii cat on the internet?
By typing fusianasan in the name field, it enables IDs
Why are people obsessed with this drawball shit?
Because it's a small way to be famous.
Have YOU drawn anything on drawball? If so, what and where?
No, because it sucks due to not being a ball.
Why is it not a ball?
2D lol
So, what are you wearing?
( ί ί) MITTENS
Why are there so many Westerners posting on 2ch right now?
We've filled our quota here, and they're looking for new opportunity.
If you had a dead rat and a rope to swing it with, would you give it to me in exchange for the chance to whitewash my fence?
I dunno, this is a pretty awesome rat... but it's tempting...
I wonder if I'll enjoy farming when the oil runs out?
i@MnLjAs much as you'll enjoy it before the oil runs out, which is to say not at all...
i@MnLjWould you let the owner of the house know I borrowed a few things from the kitchen?
Of course, I'm sure he won't mind at all.
Will you please leave either your your car keys or a credit card as collateral?
Certainly; here's your credit card back.
Is there real butter in the pie crust?
At the DQN Bakery, we use only the highest-quality, all-natural ingredients.
What should I cosplay as at MidSouthCon?
If that's what you want to call it, sure.
Is the world really going to end in a few hours in a massive cataclysmic explosing? And, if so, How should I spend my last few moments on this plane of existance?
Not the whole world, just the part you're in. I recommend you eat the hell out of a bacon double cheeseburger with all the trimmings.
What the fuck is this lump on my back? It's right next to my spine, and it makes it difficult to sit in hard-backed chairs.
Back cancer.
Why the fuck is it raining again?
Oops forgot to post a question: would you kill a person if it were the only way you could save your child's life?
Depends on what person it is, if I'd get away with it, what my future child is like and so on...
How long do you think you're going to live and what will you die of?
Until I am struck in the head with an anvil, and I will die by being struck in the head by an anvil.
I had a question but I already forgot it. Care to jog my memory?
In your current shape, it could lead to a heart attack.
How do you exercise your brain in a safe manner?
By doing crossword puzzles.
What's a five-letter word for "an idiot who can't think of a five-letter word for idiot"?
Dunce.
How many roads must a man go down?
137.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Infinite, if we make the assumptions (1) angels can overlap and (2) angels can dance on the head of a pin.
When is a door not a door?
When it's a jar.
How many ninjas does it take to screw up a lightbulb?
What kind of question was that?
...what kind of question was that?
Try again. The perfect question is the question that solves itself.
Why am I such a genius?
There was excessive moisture and your tests were scanned improperly.
Who trusts standardized testing?
>>83, obviously.
So, if I start playing Eve, does that make me cool?
Unusually enough, yes it does.
Why do all the cool places to live have to cost so damn much?
Supply and demand, good sir. There's just not enough cool to go around.
Why is a wonderful person such as >>1 not invited to the garden party?
I think so.
Will >>99 mention 100GET in his post, I wonder...
The Stars are cloudy. Ask again later.
Should I trust astrology?
Only as far as you can throw it.
Should I attack Irkutsk, or end my turn?
ATTACK! ALWAYS ATTACK!
Is that thing on my dick going to go away on its own?
Not until you pay her the $50.
Why do girls watch Pretty Woman over and over again?
Because it's fun to be a prostitute! Sucking and shopping is the ultimate lifestyle.
Why haven't I gone to sleep yet?
The clowns will get you.
What are several ways to define the realm of South America?
Hell if I know.
Why can't >>96 answer his own damn essay questions?
Because that's what I have peones like >>97 for. >:(
I wonder why she hasn't called?
Because she hates you and wants you to die.
Will she turn the gun on >>98?
We now interrupt this question and answer session for a 100GET!
Was that too much, do you think?
Yeah, you totally broke the flow.
It'd be rude if they simply didn't tell me anything, right?
Not nearly as rude as telling you "the goat's ass we interviewed was better qualified then you, so we went with it. medical plan's cheaper, too."
What is the mathematical equation of the sequence of primes?
Fuck do I know?
How do you say "I am looking for a maid who will not steal from me very much" in Russian?
` } t| s~y~z ~u {ptu }u~ very much, according to babelfish.
What kind of a jackass relies on machine translation for mission-critical communications?
` } t| s~y~z ~u {ptu }u~ }~s
Should I buy or should I sell?
Buy low, sell high.
Here is funny internet, is it not?
>>89 relies on base 89, and actually 10GET, but was honest as far as he understood it.
Do you know exactly how to eat an Oreo?
Yes.
Who is the funniest person in the world?
VIPPER wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
When you lose a sock in the dryer, where does it go?
` } t| s~y~z ~u {ptu }u~ }~s= I am looking at a maid not stealing from me much
dunno how do translate your sentence though...I don't know enough Russian
>>111 fails for irrelevancy.
When you lose a sock in a dryer, it becomes a sacrifice to Ashtophar. He's a demon of the third order who appreciates sweat a little more than blood. Be happy for his unusual preferences.
Now that I raised it and it's done my bidding, how do I put it down?
You can't. Best solution is to sedate it with bad porn and chicken wings.
Is it wrong to want to fuck tons of asian chicks?
Yes. Bestiality is always wrong
What did Dr Weir do to himself to turn himself into a superfreaky demon type at the end of event horizon?
Fat asian chicks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 - 1 is No, 10 is Yes - would you, or would you not post in the next Grandpa thread?
11.
Will Junior take over after Grandpa?
Of course. There will always be a Terakian.
Will the Botanical Society accept my intestinal flora as a late entry for this year's flower show?
Of course. There will always be a Terakian.
Will the Botanical Society accept my intestinal flora as a late entry for this year's flower show?
They have for the last three years, so why not?
Why are all the ships in Honor Harrington books shaped like double-ended dildos?
If you think about it, the answer is pretty obvious.
Should I make a big stink about not buying bootlegs?
Of course. Real men leech their own, and don't get it from Ebay.
Can I offer myself as a martyr to apologize for Fursecution?
It would be a pretty facile apology, considering that fursecution persists to this very day.
What's the last digit of pi?
Jack Horner's thumb.
Why was he keeping it warm and moist?
ΘρΎ±±Ν
ΘρΎ±±Ν
>>123 The doctor told him to.
Why does this soup taste so funny?
Because it has a bunch of shitty memes in it. "under the moon loli to issho", for example, is on top of that piece of carrot right there. You see?
What are three ways that OpenBSD mitigates the risks stemming from buffer overflow bugs in poorly written software?
Making it extremely difficult to run any software, and SSP.
Where is my copy of Finnegans Wake?
Try your bookshelf.
Sleep or post more?
masturbate!
boxers or briefs?
Briefs. Briefs contain briefish energy, which gives you super powers. Super Brief Charge!
How do I become a proper princess?
Clean Up Princess!
Why are residence hallways so wide when the actual rooms are so small?
It's not that way here at Needler Hall, where all the rooms are spacious and the residents are eccentric!
Why won't they bring back yummy cyclamates?
Because you touch yourself at night. Do it during the day, ya perv.
What does it mean when your fart smells of dog food?
Nothing, really, except that your dog tends to drool when sniffing your butt.
Should I vacuum my living room first, or do the dishes?
>Should I vacuum my living room first, or do the dishes?
vacuum is easy, compared. so do that first and then continue drinking.
The dishes; you can't eat off the floor, no matter how clean it is.
So, whatever happened to that whole "new mods zOMG" thing?
>>138 plastic plates thanks to oil.
Do you have no questions??
What is the world coming to?
Peak oil, then apocalypse.
Have YOU registered an account at becauseitswinter.com ?
Yes. In fact, I liked it so much I registered 26 accounts.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Zippy claimed 10, but it was really just a clogging group.
Am I having fun yet?
Uh-oh!! I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!!
Why are there so many minnows in the water?
>>144
because you touch yourself under water
Why is there no 'becauseitssummer.com'?
Normal people don't get depressed only because it's warm and sunny.
What should I wear to Dracula's Ball? It's some kind of a Goth Dance.
>>146
dress as van helsing and carry a wooden stake
Do you know anyone who likes ashley simpson, shikira or britany spears?
Unfortunately, yes.
Sex or maturbation?
Masturbate while thinking about having sex
Is it good or is it whack?
How about masturbating while thinking about masturbating for a change?
Now that would be whackingly good.
Heads or tails?
Well, I'd rather kiss lips that kiss ass, so... heads.
Why have these last few posts all been about sex?
virgins, lol
does espresso really have less caffiene than coffee?
I wouldn't know. I drink Morning Thunder made with Water Joe.
What's good for what ails ye?
Kouyama Mitsuki-chan!
What's a fun thing to do in the city of __________?
See the Castle of -----------.
Why do I have a headache?
Too many excesses, not enough sleep.
Why don't we have a tail?
So we don't have to suffer from clarts.
How do I keep the Sheep Mafia out of my city?
Go to Ireland and yell "Scottland rules!"
Will >>157 make out of it alive?
>>157 Dies (zomg spoilarz)
Do the scots get their superiority from shagging sheep, or from something else?
You are correct. It all stems from sheep-shagging.
What happens to sea monkies when they die?
They go to the Western Shores.
Why does Rhino 3D's interface suck so bad?
>>161 Because it's still in beta despite being sold.
What was the next big thing after the Rubik Cube?
My cock.
Why does Squeeks wear a poo hat?
Because he is Squeeks, and because he is alive.
Would you hit it?
Like the fist of a minorly annoyed god.
Sex! Lies! and...?
poop hats
How many of us truly like mittens?
I haven't worn mittens since I was 12.
Does it seem ... chilly to you?
Better put on those mittens!
.......................too.......................tired......................
Go to sleep.
How do I shot web?
I don't know lol
Why does loli haet pizza?
because it has anchovies.
Who shot JFK?
The driver.
Is this thing on?
Whoa, feedback. Let me turn this down a bit!
Should I go back to bed?
Nah, just jump in the shower.
Is decaf responsible for decreased intelligence?
It's more likely that decreased intelligence is responsible for decaf. People don't drink coffee for the taste, so whoever tought up the idea of removing the only reason to drink it can't be one of the smarter ones.
Please state your answer in the form of a question.
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Have you seen the solar eclipse?
Have you seen the solar eclipse?
No, because I don't have a piece of smoked glass.
Would you consider this to be a decent translation of >>176 ?
Γ―. by the way, although the talk changed, it was said to the childhood friend and the drinker after a long time last time -- us -- a kindergarten -- although it was the same to the elementary school, the junior high school, and the high school, since only the university went to the separate place -- about one year and a half -- for the first time in -- ΞΚ -- just -- an old tale -- a flower -- making it bloom ... then 12:00 to notice and which will be rich -- turning -- Δ -- soon -- AλΑ -- Ζ -- although considered -- her, although it had got drunk dead-drunk and ΔC was attached at the beginning of ³ this -- remarkable conduct when drunk was bad -- divide -- since it is unavoidable, I send to a house -- ±ΖΙΘ -- on the way -- while vomiting repeatedly -- somehow -- her -- when she who arrived at ρΖ was put on the bed, - released at last was thought and it sat down with Η³Α -- suddenly Lose the temptation [ kiss ] ... which felt as the "woman" this which was lovely extremely while not concluding for a while that the face of the childhood friend who is sleeping calmly was seen, and which was regarded only as the friend all the time for the first time since it sends, and she is kissed just. kept "kiss whose she opens an eye immediately ... it carried out -- ?" -- "-- having occurred -- ?! -- ²²² -- pardon -- " -- awkward me who am flustered -- "-- it was the first. Although he thought ... with being scolded ΅ it is ’Α and you well", the unexpected answer came on the contrary. "It did not cut at the time of a kindergarten but was as favorite as -. a thing -- completely -- a thought -- not being transmitted -- " -- what, the talk is not in sight at all -- "-- after getting separate, he repented. It was not able to confess after all. I was very glad to have met today" -- her thought was found at last. my son who ~ξ(ed) to her unawares and became fine was in why when I left local, she was crying like that -- "-- it is large -- w -- it is good -- come. Since it had been waiting " It is if it covers and hangs over her body with which my reason vanished there, kiss is exchanged repeatedly and a hand is attached to the plump breast.! Having, it is good PSP.
No. It sucks like all machine translation.
Is Medusa the hottest of the three?
Depends on the other two, really.
Who are the other two?
>>181
Furry.
What was the question again?
Well, it was the Ultimate Question, the answer to life, the universe and everything.
Who's getting the next round?
Not me, I'm tapped out.
How many copies of this do you think I can sell?
I'd say 2, maybe three.
Which came first; the chicken or the egg?
Actually, I came first. Well, that's premature ejaculation for you. :\
Why is The Rocky Horror Picture Show so popular?
>>187 Because it's safer than "Priscilla, Queen of the desert"
Why are fags so annoying?
Because they feel compelled to keep reminding you that they're gay.
What should I have for dinner tonight?
>>189 Instant ramen.
Who is this Pa Pa Panda?
Tis a panda.
Are all of the workers in Mexican and Chinese restaurants really illegal immigrants that don't speak English?
Actually, they're mostly zombies. It's much easier employing the undead, as they need neither food nor payment beyond the occasional guest who accidently wanders into the kitchen.
Have you ever tried the lamb?
I've had better. The veal was good, though.
What's the best song ever?
This is the song that doesnft end
Yes it goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was,
And theyfll continue singing it forever just because
This is the song etc.
How do I get this damn thing out of my head???!!!
Try singing the DQN Song instead.
Will I be able to get everything done in time?
Only by using ZA WARUDO.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
42.
why am i posting in this thread?
Like you have anything better to do. Don't pretend you have a life!
Was I too harsh?
>>198 You were so soft that I cried like a schoolgirl. Be more tough!
Does human flesh really taste like chicken?
You didn't notice the difference at lunch yesterday.
Let's be honest for a moment: do any of you people really exist?
>>200 You have too much imagination.
Are we alone in the Universe?
>>201 I really hope not. It'd be pretty depressing if humans, including vippers and /b/tards, were the most advanced beings in the universe.
What's going to be the next radical new fad among nerds after anime-fever has subsided?
Chibi-Vampire
Why is Tokyopop still in business?
Courtney Love is paying them to keep Princess AI in print.
Was there ever anime so vile as Don't Leave Me Daisy?
No.
Why do people ask yes or no questions in this thread, as if they don't realize how little those questions leave to the imagination?
Right.
How do you escape from your daily existence?
No.
Do you still beat your sister?
It really depends on what you are inferring by using the word "Beat", as it has several meanings and there's nothing within that paragraph's context to determine what you intended.
What foods should I serve for sunday brunch?
Fried chicken and waffles.
Just what does >>208 do to his sister?
It really depends on what you are inferring by using the word "do", as it has several meanings and there's nothing within that paragraph's context to determine what you intended.
What was your favorite scene in "Tapeheads"?
No. Serve the chicken on top of waffles with syrup and butter optional.
What did >>208's sister do to deserve such a variety of beatings?
She recited passages from the bible backwards with multiple voices while floating in air and making her eyes glow bright red somehow.
Is it time to take the pizza out yet?
No, give it another hour. I like the cheese black.
Are you a samurai?
A SAMURAI PIZZA CAT, HERE TO RESCUE THAT POOR PIZZA FROM BURNING!
Can I get you gentlemen anything? Coffee? Tea? Smokes?
Get me >>208's sister so I can beat her.
Is it true that chicken tastes like humans?
No, but human is strikingly similar to crocodile.
Where did you say you put it?
She's crying into her hands because her brother is >>208
How many pokemon are there now? It must be a crapload more than 150.
386 => http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/rspokemonlist1.html
Is it safe to pour vegetable oil into my eyes?
As long as it isn't partially hydrogenated, sure.
what foods are you most likely to ignore expiration dates, and why do you feel safe doing it?
Potato chips. Those suckers will keep for MONTHS!
What is your favorite chemical?
Capsaicin. Love those hot peppers.
What is the WORST WORD ever?
Squeeks.
Do you hate April Fools day as much as I do?
Indeed. BTW, PONIES!!!11
what's your opinion on /guro/?
Horihone Saizou is erotic, but otherwise I don't really enjoy it.
Does the 4-ch front page need updating?
Yes, news4vip left long ago.
Why is Shii using his name everywhere? At least he isn't using a tripcode
I needed to use it on /mod/ and now wakaba 3.0 filled it in for me everywhere. I'll remove it after this post, OK.
So, why are 20-year-old girls all over Neil Gaiman? He seems like a perfectly average fantasy writer.
Because he's fucking NEIL GAIMAN, BITCH.
OK, so I bought Advance Wars for the DS, now what else should I get?
A real console.
Is there a question that has no answer?
Why are you such a goddamned idiot?
Anyway, there are birds outside my window (I'm on the 4th floor). How do I get them all to shut up so I can go back to sleep?
Shoot them. You get a free breakfast as an added bonus.
Why does the tales of the abyss soundtrack only have two good songs, and why are they shitty versions of songs from tales of eternia?
2. ???
3. PROFIT!!!
Have you seen Ice Age?
"I, Sage" was the biggest hit of the Japanese cinema of the past five years. Unfortunately, it never made it to any festivals, and is mostly unknown outside of Japan.
Who is cooler, the King of Beggers, the God of Cooks, or the God of Gamblers and why?
The God of Cooks: otherwise, what would we eat?
Tits or ass?
@ _ @Ώ
(@ίΝί)c@¨ΑΟ’! ¨ΑΟ’!
@Όc
Contingency planning?
Yes indeed.
Why is my text blinking, while my cursor is not?
Squeeks set the css on the textbox to blink. I'm not sure what's wrong with the cursor though.
How many more threads can grandpa last before we get tired of him?
As many as it takes until Squeeks cuts off payments to the hosting company.
Is there somebody out there for me?
No.
Why does /dqn/ suck so bad?
Because you're here.
When will >>242 leave?
Because you touch yourself at night.
(EΝE) How is this thread different from Grandpa's?
Kn[[[[[[[[[[[[[[I
How can we prevent two people from solving the same question in the future?
>>245
Pick one of the two for deletion
Which is more deserving of the many love and accolades which they recieve; Corea or Something Awful?
Trick question.
Please fondle my bum.
Cannot compute. Please reformulate the question.
Is Q God?
Yes. He became a mortal, and sacrificed himself to save the Enterprise, then went back to being omnipotent.
What kind of sacrifice would Q find seemly?
Maybe a ball.
What's that bird whistling outside my window?
It's whistling "Who da man? WHO DA MAN? Oh Yeah! You Want Somma Dis!" to the bitches.
Why is it so fucking windy today?
Because the trees are sneezing a lot -- they're allergic to tree pollen.
Why do posts on DQN take so damn long to post these days?
Why do posts on DQN take so damn long to post these days?
BECAUSE IT'S WINTER (somewhere)!
All I know is that >255 is doing a damn good job of failing it.
Does the rain in Spain fall mostly on the plain? Or is that just bullshit?
>>257
The rain in spain mostly falls on muh dick
Has anyone ever visited trollz.com?
No
What will happen to junior once grandpa's thread v3 hits 1000?
He will wait for Grandpa v4 and post there.
What will Grandpa v3's final post be?
1000GET
When did you begin acting like this?
I was born with it.
Do they have "In Capitalistic USA..." jokes in Soviet Russia?
In Soviet Russia, "in capitalistic USA..." jokes have THEM!
What if there is no grandpa v4?
Oh, don't worry. Someone will restart it. Someone always does...
Why do jokes hang on so far past their Laugh At date on the internet anyway?
Because internet jokes are made from Velveeta, the Cheese that Would Not Die.
Do you think that Butterscotch, the Hasbro Robotic Pony will be the big hit this Christmas, and what's the best hack for its programming?
Not likely with a $300 price tag; best hack is to convert it into a vibrator.
Why does my coffee taste like crap when it's cold?
Much like sake, any coffee will taste decent when its hot - only high quality java is good cold.
Was the $50 I just spent on Kingdom Hearts II wasted?
Not if you're gay.
Who am us, anyway?
We are the DQN Theatre.
Why does a Digg page never complete loading in my browser? Is it because Web 2.0 is crap?
It's the Ultimate DQN: showing intelligence in a DQN forum!
What's the fastest way to earn a million bucks?
Rob a bank; it's also the fastest way to loose a million bucks!
Digg or /.?
Fark.
Will Microsoft manage to kill open source?
Hopefully.
Why is 4chan becoming less and less Japanese?
Because the mods are something awful.
Why is it that ebaumsworld is so superior?
Because http://www.ebaumsworldsucks.com
Is it me or is http://www.wired.com getting worse and worse?
Wired's web design is just so 2000.
Which is more amusing: RAGEQUIT or RAGEJOIN?
RAGEQUIT
Why does >>276 think anyone cares about his crappy flash animation getting stolen?
that would be a girl.
Should I do eggs or pancakes for breakfast today?
Eggs. Make an egg sandwich!
VIP? or DQN? Is there a difference?
No. Both are equally a bunch of idiots, easily forgotten.
Should I up my ritalin to 20mg TID?
Not enough. Make It 50mg.
Is 4-ch really going to die?
4-ch is eternal moment, like tanasinn.
τ Do you feeeeeeel like we do? τ
Goodness, I hope so!
What song is this at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=30171642 ...? It's been bothering me, and I can't rest until I find out!
The Magical 8Ball says "Ask Shii".
Can drama be converted into kinetic energy?
We'll find out in Three Weeks!
Porn?
Not on MY hard drive! Luckily, I have an ipod.
Why is anonymity used as an excuse to dodge responsibility?
It's addictive to talk shit w/out getting smacked down.
It snowed last night, isn't it supposed to be fucking spring yet??!?!?!?!?!?!?!???
It's like 80 degrees here, and the grass is coming back to life, so yes it's spring. Quit living in IglooTown.
Is 4-ch still up?
Like Johnny Wadd and his favorite fluffer!
Do you love Desiree Cousteau? She's MUCH cuter than Vanessa Del Rio.
lol
what?
Ahem. "Do you love Desiree Cousteau? She's MUCH cuter than Vanessa Del Rio."
Do you love Desiree Cousteau? She's MUCH cuter than Vanessa Del Rio.
Oh! I did hear you right the first time. Never heard of either.
Can anyone recommend a good hearing specialist?
Generally, you need to go through your primary physician and get a referrel who participates in your health plan.
Is socialized medicine/universal healthcare going to lead to less advanced care, but greater preventative care?
No, because I'll fight socialized medicine and other socialist nonsense tooth and nail.
What's that on your teeth?
Your wife's pubic hair.
Why does everybody always want to hit me?
You have >>296's wife's pubic hair in your teeth all the time.
Is there anything I can to do halp 4-ch?
Start a partition.
Do you smell that?
Yeah, but I'm not really sure what it is. Let's take a look around.
Why does Tony Danza still have a fucking talkshow? It's not because he's funny, so is it because he gives free jewlery to the entire audience?
Free Shiatsu!
Is it cruel to breed dogs that need sweaters for the cold weather?
Not really. Just stick sweaters on them when cold weather comes.
Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson?
Paris, of course. She has a hotel named after her, and not the other way around.
As long as we're on the subject, what has Tonya Harding been up to these days?
http://www.tonyaharding.org/ > Tonya Harding, former Olympic Skater turned Pro Boxer. Within these pages you will find a wealth of information.
Oh god, Why me?
Because you're the Chosen One.
Kathy Griffin or Sara Silverman?
Option 3: Put it in.
If you were up to your neck in shit, and someone threw a bucket of shit at your head, would you duck?
To the side, maybe.
Where the fuck did all my money go?
To the goddamn FUCKUPS at the goddamn IRS!
Who must I slay to get my money back???!!!
The goddamn FUCKUPS at the goddamn IRS!
Pumpkin or Raspberry-Rhubbarb?
Raspberry-Rhubbard, of course.
Would you fuck Brittney Spears?
Not if you paid me $100. (maybe for $1000)
Did you play Cave Story yet?
Yes.
Why is the world a cruel, unforgiving place?
Because you never got the secret ending.
How much longer will my cold last?
two years.
why is france such a violent place?
Don't know.
Do you?
It all started going downhill when the commoners seized power.
Is there a doctor in the audience?
I have a Ph.D in english from Oxford, if that helps at all.
Did you eat the ears or the tail of your chocolate bunny first?
I bit out its eyes while screaming "STOP LOOKING AT ME!"
Is Iowa a better place to live than Texas?
It slowly becomes one after you develop your 100 mile stare.
Who would you crawl 100 miles over broken glass for just to eat the corn out of their shit?
No.
Who came up with the "mittens" meme?
( ί ί) Not sure. I started the Post Happy Things thread. Someone else has the mittens fixation.
Should I just go back to bed?
No, you have work to do!
Where are my car keys?
They're in your jacket pocket, right where you left them.
Why isn't the L700 listening to TSM?
Answer hazy - ask again later.
What should I charge my neighbor for not fixing her computer?
Blowjob.
If the missiles were in the air and you had one hour to live with no consequences, what would you do?
Do a lot of coaine and LSD, rape as many people as posible, and jump off a very high building.
So is 4-ch getting free hosting now?
As soon as you jump off that building.
Who is this bloody man?
Not sure. The pile of shit next to him makes me want to say "Squwaks", though.
Does Gatorade go well in mixed drinks?
Normally, yes, but since you already pissed in the jug there's no reason to bother.
Will Mickey Mouse's copyright be extended 20 years again?
Of course, everyone knows Congresscritters can be bought!
If you stomp on a Japanese person's head, do they turn into yen?
Yes, but only coins, not banknotes.
How much longer before the aliens come for us?
ask suzumiya haruhi
I don't know, LOL
Is there anybody out there with the answer to how I can shot web? (spiderman doesn't know)
1) take gun
2) shoot web
3)????
>>334 You are the fourth child, who cannot even ask a question. and the one who does not know to ask is told, "It is because of what the Almighty did for me when I left Egypt."
Does anyone have a good recommendation for a laxative?
high-fructose corn syrup
Why are my clients such disorganized morons?
As a consultant, you bear the brunt of the responsibility. You should make them purchase some kind of CRM solution and then rack up many, many hours making it work for them. Failing that, make them buy Palms. Even if they don't use the daytimer functions, they'll at least be able to play games.
Why do we call them "Users"?
because 'clients' denotes equality and respect.
Why is becauseitswinter.com so awesomely popular?
( ί ί) Because everyone loves mittens!
( ί -ί) Why does the government subsidize urban sprawl?
Because developers make substantial political contributions, and everyone would love to expand their tax base.
If we were going to form an all-male ballet troup with only internet celebrities, who would you like to be the primo ballerino and why?
I vote for doug, hes supposed to have the body of a little girl.
Whats your opinion on >>340's question?
I will judge no one on the basis of his sexual fetish, for mine is nearly as disgusting.
Is this really necessary?
This no, but that, oh yes!
How will be the weather this year?
it gone rain
How many times have I told you not to stick your tongue in outlets?
Not once. In fact, you have on several occasions encouraged me to do so, promising fabulous cash rewards.
Have you beaten >>208's sister yet?
No, she beats herself. AT PONG.
O RLY?
YA RLY
Where can get get some of your delicious bacon?
It's on sale at the meat shop down the road.
What's the best possible topping for pizza?
PUSH BUTAN. RESV BACON. ENJOY BACON
Why is there not enough sjis art in the new grandpa thread.
Because Furry Friday stole its thunder.
Why are In The Groove players so completely full of themselves?
I don't know what In The Groove is, but chances are they're fags.
Where did >>349's question mark go?
The World that Never Was.
How do I become 'hanyan'?
Just stare at Mizuki-sensei.
Was Chobits merely a piece of crap, or a stunningly subtle attack on moetaku culture?
Just a piece of crap.
How the fuck do people manage to watch anything on YouTube?
The thrill of thievery makes up for shitty quality, I suppose.
Why can't international companies offer their financial records in U.S. dollars along with their native currency?
Because the world doesn't revolve around the US, no matter what Dubya tells you.
What's the best papercraft you've ever seen?
Beavis and Butthead Do America toilet paper.
Is 4-ch REALLY like this?
Yes. This is its true nature.
Are you surprised?
That whole Rei thing is so 20th century...
What's the newest annoying internet fad?
Gundam SEED Destiny
How did I forget to put my question in the same post?
Defective educational system.
From what arcs of fire do armored wheel hubs and wheel guards protect?
The stresses involved in travelling through time.
How many countries is Bush going to nuke during his term?
The USA is the only country who's gonna end getting nuked because of Bush.
Why is the guy outside making so much noise with his music?
Because he really, really likes polka.
Should bad people who only ever say bad things be denied free speech?
If that were enacted, /b/ would cease to be. So yes.
Did'ja get that thing I sent ya?
Indeed I did. I found it quite droll, and with many novel applications!
Is it better to reach a good compromise, or hold out for what you really want, even if it will cause other difficulties?
The latter. There is no such thing as a good compromise.
What would the world look like today if the Axis powers had won WWII? More importantly, what would anime be like?
Adventures of Magical Hitler-chan.
Why can't I get a decent sandwich after midnight?
Because you should make your own sandwiches.
Do you paint, or are you a snapper?
I'm a ctrl-v'er.
What movie am I watching right this second?
I don't know the title, but there's a hairy man sticking his wee-wee in another hairy man's butthole.
Do you want to save money on Viagra?
Sure. Normally I wouldn't be interested, but if I'm saving money...
Where do mittens come from?
Mats.
Why isn't the coffee ready yet dammit?
Because you're a bit of a snob, and prefer to roast your own beans, then grind them by hand.
Given the choice between all of the so-called "energy drinks", which would you prefer?
Loli-Ade.
Why can't I stop posting on the internet and get a life?
Life is overrated.
What is Life?
Life is the name of the game.
Why isn't Bruce Forsyth dead yet?
My agents are losing their touch.
Where's the fucking mail?
You get NONE. Only awesome people get mail.
Why is >>377 using my nickname? Is anonymous truly THAT unforgiving?
It's simply great. I love it.
Want some of my Chinese food?
No thanks, gives me gas.
Did you vote for Pedro?
I voted for Pedo(bear).
lol u tk him 2 da bar|?
I'm sorry, you'll have to repeat that. I don't speak ass.
Can Hulk Hogan be fossilized?
He'd turn into the Rock, so no.
Does masturbating to Morning Musume make me less of a man?
( ί -ί) ....
( ί ί) I like knitten!
>>386 No, but it certainly diminishes the quality of man that you are.
Raziel is my favorite angel. Who is yours?
I've haven't seen the last 7 or 8 episodes, but so far Leliel is my favorite.
What? oh... I guess Asmodeus doesn't count... I'd have to agree with you on Raziel. Azael and Eblis have cool names though.
What question am I asking?
Yes.
Why doesn't Advent Children have a coherent plotline?
No.
Why is DQN so addictive?
Insufficient data for meaningful answer.
A/R/I/F?
I... don't know.
What do you think of the new fansub drama involving nanashi and leaked scripts?
I think it vaguely resembles a cheese sandwich.
But what KIND of cheese?
blue cheese
How do you make blue cheese?
With blue crayons.
Do you?
Yes, but only in designated areas, and I don't go swimming for an hour.
How do I won internets?
By beating the boss guy at the end.
Why hasn't the mail come?
Yes. (The answers can't ALL be sarcastic or negative.)
Who is Abraham Lincoln?
Muh dick.
Muh dick?
Please rephrase the question.
Is four sales in four hours good?
Depends on if you're selling cars or candybars.
Is covering 7 chapters worth of material in 3 hours a bit unrealistic?
It depends on the length of the chapters.
Is coming 4 times in 2 hours enough?
For a normal person, I guess.
How are you?
I'm getting the feeling that each new ansewr does a more inadequate job of solving it's question than the one before.
So I poured some vegtable oil into my eyes, and some of it managed to get into my nasal passages. Is there any danger in the situation described in the latter half of the compound sentence previous?
Well, a nice even coating will prevent you from pollen irritation, so I'd generally consider this to be a positive situation.
So, why exactly did you pour the vegetable oil into your eyes?
I lost a bet.
I just sold an item to somebody in Fukuoka. Can I start bragging to the ladies that my work is huge in Japan yet?
Hey, if I can call myself a novelist because I tried out NaNoWriMo once, you can call yourself whatever the hell you want.
Wii?
Wii not?
What is love?
(Baby don't hurt me.)
Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and marks, any heart, not tough, or strong, enough to take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain love is like a cloud holds a lot of rain.
Who'll stop the rain?
Weatherbusters!
Who you gonna call?
844, to see what the weather will be for my fishing trip.
If Jesus is the fisher of men, doesn't that make him kind of gay?
It just proves that Jesus is completely unchristian.
When will the Servbots from Megaman Legends/Misadventures of Tron Bonne get their own series? They're the only interesting characters from those games.
Didn't they have a pocketstation minigame? Isn't that enough for you?!
Speaking of which, why is Namco vs Capcom still not translated?
Well, it's strange. Every time a team is formed to translate it, all the team members are mysteriously eaten by sharks. ~fin~
Would that be a good plot for a horror movie?
Well, its a 4chan meme, so it would there for be awful.
Whats you favorite flavor of dounut?
Cardboard.
Someone stole my sentences. Will you please get them back for me?
Hell no I won't. It's your own damn fault you lost them.
How do I doged Haduken?
by freeze framing
how do I shoot web?
Step 1: Go back to 4chan. Further instructions will be given upon your arrival.
Was I too hard on >>420?
No. You cannot mollycoddle those nancyboys.
How many were going to St. Yves?
Six. Exactly six.
I have way to much energy and I need to burn it off. What should I do? Tell me now!
Make this thread active again.
Infact, I think this can be a question you can answer. Do you?
Set yourself on fire.
What did God tell you?
Jesus returns tommorrow.
Are you going to ready for judgement day?
Yep. I've played through it in many RPGs already, so I should be fully prepared.
What is your favorite language?
English
Why are some people as stupid as they are?
I blame TV.
Why am I so tired today?
I blame internet.
Why am I here?
I blame God.
Why am I still up this late?
Because your waiting for a chance to do a b|b|b|b@a I
Who will be the next monar to get it's own thread on DQN?
Squeeks.
Why does "Internet Addicts" suck so much?
Because you don't appreciate the contribution that Something Awful made to the internet.
Do you think ( ί ί) Post happy things! will sputer out before it reaches 1000? I mean, everyone used to think that the fat thread was the next big thing.
( ί ί) I like posting until 1000!
How much does it cost to get somebody killed around here?
( `ΝL) Why don't you stop by my thread and ask?
( `ΝL) Well, are you going to answer me?
I would say "No", but I am, so yes.
Who the fuck was >>436?
I've been every other poster in this thread for the last hour. Thats probably breaking some kind of rule, so I'll leave after this question.
Do you like horny bunnies?
Of course! What kind of question is that?
Why does 4chan's /b/ have so many Nazis on it?
lol internet
beast or furry?
cock
Is the end nigh?
Yes. The Squeeks thread is almost at 1000.
Who... is... Captain Obvious?
A very slow-witted individual, usually one who states the most obvious thing.
Who is the tripfag above this post?
That famous chinaman, Sum Dum Bum
Where is lolocaust?
lolocaust is on Sabbatical. We last saw him at the Walpurgisnacht Sabbat.
How many wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Show your work.
Two, but they have to be really small wiccans. Fuck you, I did it in my head.
Should the new anonymous name on /dqn/ be "My Sentences"?
No. While "My Sentences" is indeed beautiful, "DQN Otoko" or some variation is much more fitting. But it still sucks.
Could you explain the first half of Eureka Seven 38 to me?
Stuff happens. Then everybody dies. Or not.
How many more drinks before I pass out in a pool of my own urine and vomit?
"I never made it without dying. Ask Mr. Owl."
"Mr. Owl, How many more drinks before I pass out in a pool of my own urine and vomit?"
Let's find out. One.... thud
Why am I such a lightweight?
You need to WORK at vice. It wasn't meant to be easy.
What's your favorite joke?
Your mom.
Should Zacarias Moussaoui have gotten the death penalty?
He hasn't killed anybody.
Is hydrogen the future?
Hydrogen is the future and the past and the present. It's all over the fucking place, man.
Why is it that every time I go take a piss, I think I'm done, go back to my desk, sit down, and then a little more dribbles out?
Because you have urinary incontinence.
Why don't people buy energy efficient refrigerators, realizing that the money they'll save on electricity will quickly make up for the cost difference?
For the same reason that they buy cars that get them 2mpg, and then bitch about gas prices.
What was the kitten doing in the duel between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris?
Purring contentedly.
Why is it so cold out today, after being unbearably hot for weeks?
It's all the fault of the corporanazis and the nucleo-industrial deathglomerates.
If I give you some cheese, will you go away?
Depends.
Is it Gouda?
Nope. Venezuelan Beaver Cheese.
If Mars is heating up at the same rate the Earth is, would it not follow that our current global warming trend is in fact the sun's fault?
No, its the pollution from those two rovers doing it. IT'S ALWAYS MAN'S FAULT!
Am I crazy?
You're as crazy as the pixie says you are.
What makes loli so very fappable?
Deep-seated insecurities, if not outright psychoses.
What are we going to do with all these pedos?
Kill them dispassionately, like one would destroy a termite nest.
Why does Amarillo have to be so crappy?
Because it's a city in Texas, where all things are big and suck a lot.
Has anyone else in the last 50 posts besides me actually bothered to read this from the beginning or do you have better things to do?
No, I was busy hitting >>208 's sister.
Will this hurry up so I can post my cleverly thought out 500 get or do I have to do 45 in a row?
You better not try it. I bet your 500get sucks.
When the lights go out and they play that funky music, what happens next?
Insert tab A into slot B
How much time is it going to take to pack up all this shit?
Way too long but less than you think.
Why did Haruhi hesitate in that corridor?
It's all an act. Part of being God is knowing that you are God.
How's the weather?
It's raining and I want to die
Why is that?
Because it's winter.
What's the most mysterious thing ever?
Why they ever thought inviting colbert was a good idea.
Democrat or republican?
I voted for Nader! I hate everyone!!
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
She's alive and well and living in a small commune outside of San Dimas, and occasionally bathes at the water park.
Is it more important to Be Excellent to Each Other, or to Party On, Dudes?
I think they're both important, so it's really hard to say.
What's the best party drug?
Ketamine. Nothing says 'party' like a bag of horse tranqs
Will they ever let me in that store again?
After the way you acted last time, with the ketchup going all over that dude's face, I'd say no.
oops, forgot question.
Daddy, why is the sky blue?
Ask your physics teacher about wavelength absorption.
Why does Yotsubato cheer me up every time I read it?
Because it's good to escape from the misery of your ruined life by reading the innocent antics of someone who has yet to permanently ruin theirs?
Is black all colors combined, or is that white?
Black is an absence of color, white is all colors combined, of course it matters if you are using rgb or cymk.
wtf does "lol u tk him 2 da bar|" mean?
It means moot didn't spend enough time on IRC to come up with a genuine chatspeak phrase.
r u mf?
No, I would be, except you stole my sentences.
Has Anonymous forgiven me yet?
Yes, my child. Go your way and sin no more.
Why were the catholics so pissed off about Mel Gipson's "Passion"?
Because it sucked harder than an altarboy after Mass is over
What unnamed horrors lurk in the deep?
You should not leave Grandma in the dark like that.
Who is r2_jane@yahoo.co.jp?
I dare not speak their names.
Is the universe truly as vast, cool and unsympathetic as I think it is?
Nope. THe universe is actually hot and passionate, though she'd probably never give you the time of day.
Are you a god?
Ummm... yes.
Why is it we shouldn't cross the streams again?
We were all gods once, we just forgot about it for the sake of playing a detective game.
Any girl here?
>>492 Add 50ml of that beaker next to you.
Will we make it to 1000?
Yes. On the other hand, possibly no.
Why did the Pokemon TV show turn Ash into a Pikachu at the end of one episode just to change him back at the beginning of the next? Didn't they realize how much cooler it would've been to LEAVE him that way?
(Alt: WHY am I asking a Pokemon question in the first place?)
Because if Ash was a pikachu there waould have been no way to subliminially influence kids with the gay Ash-Pikachu relationship.
Alt answer: Because you watched too much pokemon and were turned gay.
If you could kill your father and marry your mother without any legal problems, would you?
No, Freud already leaves threatening letters on my doorstop.
Should the playa be hated upon, or is it perhaps the game that should be the true target of one's haterizing?
If you don't have enough hate to spare enough for both the player and the game, you need to GTFO!
Can I get a threadstop?
Not until 501.
Will the 500get be funny at all?
Not sure.
Shall we find out?
i@MnLj No.
i@MnLj Are you done with your drinks?
Needs more ascii.
Isn't it ironic that an OS built for text processing fails it at mona font?
As I see it, it's more pitiful than ironic.
I'm having some real problems. the Sun Sparc binary for Helix player won't play AVI files. Short of a snide anti-solaris message, does anyone know of a decent solution for media watching for my Ultra5?
I'd recommend vlc but I haven't touched a sun machine in ages.
How much longer will it take IIChan to return online?
Two weeks!
What's it like behind a rainbow?
Sunny, happy and gay.
How do I get the mildew out of the corners of my bathtub where an old toothbrush doesn't really reach?
Spray some bleach, I'd say. Just a little bit mixed with water should do it.
Is converting my mp3 files to Flac a waste of space, despite the obvious advantages of a music collection in a single format?
Pointless waste. You can't get what you take out back.
How much free HD space do you currently have?
About 250GB.
Where can I get a node list for Share?
http://www.google.com/search?q=share+node&btnG=Google+Search looks promising...
are there any share clients other than the official windows-only one?
Yes.
Did Gummo Marx have acting talent, or was he just there to fill in a space during the Vaudeville era?
Gummo marx was the jason priestly of his time
Was clara bow the britany spears of her age?
I don't know, but her Wikipedia photo sure creeps me out.
Why can so few people spell "Britney Spears" right? And even fewer "aluminium"?
I don't know about Britney Spears, but "aluminum" is the American spelling. It's pronounced that way here, too -- the second i is simply absent.
Why are water chestnuts so good in recipes, even though on their own they taste like wet shoe?
They harken back to the times when people were poor enough to resort to shoe cuisine. As living standards improved, people didn't want to abandon the recipes that made foodwear so delicious, and so they simply replaced the central ingredient with water chestnuts.
Since this is not the Usenet Oracle, I keep wondering about the ligneous output of wood-chuckable woodchucks ...
"ZOT!"
How many running jokes does it take to stage a humor relay race?
That's not a question.
Do you KNOW about the ligneous output of wood-chuckable woodchucks?
'fraid I don't, sorry.
Where are the Wild Things these days?
Jisakujiening over in /love/.
Is it possible to find a function f(q) which tends to 0 as q increases without limit, such that the inequality |qx - p| < f(q)
has infinitely many integral solutions p, q?
My name is Squeeks.
What is your name?
>>519 Hmmm, I'd ask Google Math.
Is the default name "My Name is Squeeks" a form of bragging, or is it merely resignation to the fact that Squeeks has passed into internet legend status, like Shii and WT Snacks?
It's the Mark of the Moron.
Where is the democratic vote for a change of default name?
It will never exist as long as people like you think they have some kind of entitlement to representation on another person's server.
Is a Baby Ruth nothing more than a chocolate covered Payday?
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>>523 Yes. That IS the case. A Baby Ruth IS nothing more than a chocolate covered PayDay Nut Roll.
Do you feel cheated?
In more ways than I can count.
Why is that girl smacking the little guy with a ladle?
There's no meaning other than VIPPERS thinking it's cute.
Who called the VIPPERS here?
The girl is News4VIP and the little guy is /dqn/. Or the other way around. However, the ladle is the most significant symbol in that Shift-JIS image!
Why is she smacking the little guy with a ladle?
He said a naughty word four times in a row.
Is it a sweet hurt?
Yes. Blueberry flavored, too!
Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?
No. I donft like the Communist Party, Mrs. Eldredge.
Have you at any time ever ordered, incited, assisted, or otherwise participated in the persecution of any person because of race, religion, national origin, or political opinion?
Yes or no.
Is there a Ford in your future?
Not until gas prices drop below $2/gallon
What color are your mittens?
Black as my tortured soul.
What should I have for breakfast today?
Spicy Udon with corn and an egg cracked into it.
What tastes better, Aspertame, saccharin, or cyclamates?
The blood of a freshly killed virgin.
Is "pronto" a real word?
No, it's the name of faithless indian sidekick from the gay porn film "The Prone Ranger".
If we were going to remake "Deep Throat", where should we place Linda Lovelace's 'anatomical displacement'?
I don't know.
Why are Sun Chips so much better than potato chips?
They make you fatter.
Anyone wanna share imageboard links?
http://wakachan.org
All the image boards in the world, and now without iichan cruft.
What cruft force is YOUR computer?
hp 3.4ghz dual, 17inch WIDESCREEN, 1 gb, 150 gb, has as much power as a desktop and is almost as big.
How do you carry your laptop?
On a gold chain around my neck. I'm the King of Bling.
What is the best band ever?
The one you get after your CP thread has graced 4chan /b/ for almost an hour.
Is it going to rain today?
Yes, and it's a good thing. We've been needing it.
Is Lordi the next ABBA?
Björn Again is the next ABBA.
Do you feel Voltaire was right in saying "Anything too stupid to be said is sung"?
Nummy nummy nummy, I've got love in my tummy!
Why do smart people tend to not reproduce?
Because they're smart enough to realize that the LAST thing the planet Earth needs is more human beings. It's because of human beings that we have somethingawful.com, after all.
Are you, indeed, the man now, dog?
Why, no sir. You da man.
Why don't stupid people get involved in more deadly accidents?
Because God protects fools. I refer you to "Being There".
Are nannies really the greatest cause of celebrity divorce facing us today?
No; you're thinking of lawyers
Did you see what was on digg today?
No, there's too much noise on digg, but I read a news site that aggregates the most interesting stories from digg and more than 450 other news sites.
Is anonymous posting equivalent to communism?
No, anonymous posting is double-plus good.
Whats the greatest musical album ever?
Frank Zappa's Thing Fish.
Why does Amarillo have to suck so hard?
Because even though Amarillo and Amaretto are might seem somewhat similar, they really aren't.
Is it the fried catfish that's making me feel slightly queasy? :\
I'd say it's the Yen you're chewing on.
How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
Just one: the road leading to the nearest soccer riot.
Can we starting making up our own Kanji symbols for stuff? It's not like anyone will be able to tell the difference...
NO U!
Am I famous yet?
You were right up until you said "NO U!", then you faded to obscurity.
Why the fuck do people think catchphrases are funny?
A Famous idiot, perhaps.
When I stroke my beard thusly, do I not appear more sophisticated?
More sophisticated than >>561 , but that's not saying much...
Does using tripcodes that spell things make you cool?
I don't #f[dp/;z1
Why does Blizzard hate making new games so much?
Because they suck at it and innovating takes too much energy.
Why do my feet smell so bad?
You gotta wash everyday like the muslims.
And my dick smells sweet...
...because you wash it like the muslims?
Why did that Finland song won? I thought it sucked, apart from the overdone SFX.
Because IT'S FOR FINLAND!!!
Which is worse: "txt talk," or "1337 speak,"?
31173 3717736 05169 100% 6036375 15 5097333.
Who is the hottest chick in anime?
>>570: Ranma Saotome. Take that any way you will.
Do you consider photoshop art?
No. The person sitting right to me at the moment showing what he did in Photoshop proves that I am right.
How does one get people to do what one wants them to do?
Do you mean editing pictures that someone else took? Then no that's not art, not unless you make it so that it's really hard to tell where the picture came from but if you just add some lense flares and change the contrast it's not art and your're a talentless fuck.
Do you consider MSpaint art?
BECAUSE YOU FUCKER, YOU STOLE MY FUCKING CLOUDSONG.
Who is John Galt?
a stupid dummy butt face!
Is this the internet or something???? help
Yes, it is. You can tell because of all the stalkers that your mommy warned you about!
Will you be my new best friend?
That depends on what you did with your old best friend.
Will you tell me, or are you going to lawyer up?
On the advice of counsel, FUCK YOU.
Why do people follow the news even though there's nothing they can do about it?
So we can take notes, and take remedial action when the opportunity arises. People can be voted out of office, throats can be slit in dark alleys, etc. Watching the news is a fine way to develop grudges.
How is the creation of an independent Montenegro going to directly effect your life?
>>580: It forces me to answer a question on a message board.
How badly is the Simpsons movie going to suck?
That depends who they cast as Homer.
I seem to be out of cookies. How can I best rectify this grave situation?
Marry me!
Can I have sum monies?
No. Get a job.
Should I go home now or waste some more time pretending to work while surfing the internets?
NO
Face it straight, guys: Swords Dance or Double Team?
I've never seen swords dancing before, so.. double team?
Anyways, now that iichan is kind of back, will you start using it again, or continue using wakachan?
I never wasted my time on either of those shitty websites, and I never will.
Is the answer to the question "no"?
Aye.
What is 'i'?
something you use to oogle young girls with.
what is the capital of zaire?
Z
So, how 'bout that local sports team, huh?
Dude, we're playing chess.
What happens when I press F9?
Your internet explodes!
Why won't you love me anymore? Why did you lie to me!? WHY?!?
It's not about you.. It's about me.
Why didn't you change?
Becasue I'm perfect and you should be the one to change.
Could you please move a little to the left? You're blocking my light.
>>594 fuck you and your completely-meaningful-except-that-last-character tripcode.
I came, I saw, I left.
Why so many crappy sites?
We're being invaded by VIPPERS
Should I choose Squirtle, Bulbasaur or Charmeleon?
Agumon.
Are YOU a VIPPER?
No.
What did you think of my 600GET?
No. That's not to say I'm not a totally inane retard though.
My mage has more meat on her arms than my swordswoman. What's up with that?
>>600 You suck and everything you write sucks go back to your hole and cry sucky mcsuck suck,
>>601 RPGs suck and are illogical. once you accecpt that a human can will fireballs into existance using a thing called "mana" you have accecpted that a wimp like your swordsman is cool, go and fucking kill yourself.
Which is better a giant blender filled with lolis or a giant loli filled with blenders?
Why can't I have both?!
What would happen if there were no hypothetical questions?
That question was posed to me in grade 4. That was the year I was molested.
I trusted you Grandma. How could you do that to me?
That wasn't me. That was my twin sister, Sophie. She was always a little 'tetched'.
Why are twins and albinos generally depicted as evil beings?
Because they are. Without exception.
Is that answer racist?
It would be if it weren't so obviously true.
What does someone do for fun in this shithole one-horse town?
You wait for the stage to take you to Carson City, drinking bitter beer while listening to the professor on the out-of-tune piano. Don't let Dotty take you upstairs, cowpoke. She has the french disease.
What did you see as you walked down the streets of Laredo?
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin makin trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orang juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear the pricey booze, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop and yelled my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
Who doesn't like Will Smith?
>>609
Those couple of guys who were up to no good and started to make trouble in the neighborhood didn't like Will Smith.
What's a good way for a couple of guys to start making trouble in the neighborhood?
Either Cherry Bombs or rape.
Shall we Bu-n!?
I'm afraid to fly, unlike Erica Jong.
How many radians are there in a circle?
Nah. It's too hot out.
What's for breakfast?
Everyone followed the trend to Beauty Parlor Dancing.
And while we're on the subject, can a fox trot?
No, contrary to popular belief foxen actually gallop instead of trot.
How can I make enough money to pay for theses damn college loans?
Prostitution.
Why didn't I ever get that action figure I wanted for christmas? :'(
Because you never finished your steamed pete.
What is a man?
A miserable little pile of secrets.
Is McDonald's food really that unhealthy, considering that two (tiny) servings of unsalted mixed nuts have more fat than a Big Mac?
Yes. You also have to consider sugar and salt content. Also remember that there is more than one type of fat.
I'm not a veteran, so should I get the green onion or not?
That's the beef bowl place isn't it?
Do you REALLY want to eat the extra-large with extra sauce?
Not really. I just wanted to say extra sauce.
Why is it crowded at Yoshinoya? I couldn't get a seat!
Take a look at that banner up there. "150 yen off".
Who the hell comes to Yoshinoya for 150 yen off?
>>621 did, that's who.
ADV translations, or a sharp stick in the eye repeatedly?
I'll take the sharp stick for 20, Dave.
Did God create mosquitos, or was that Man's doing?
The processes of nature created mosquitos, but man created God.
Will a nonreligious institution ever fill the multigenerational social and community needs currently addressed by churches?
God created mosquitos to punish man for imageboard faggotry.
Do you ever find yourself saying smock over and over agian for many days just because it sounds so freaking cool? And why is saying smock so much cooler than wearing one?
Wearing a smock implies that you might be pretty smart, and high intelligence is inexplicably frowned upon by the masses. Stoopid masses...
Why aren't my roommates back yet?
>>1, just keep waiting, and all the residents of Needler Hall will return with more wacky adventures!
Do you know Magical Needle-chan's true identity?
They were ambushed by lawn gnomes on their way back.
What is the objective of the sinister lawn gnome conspiracy?
No. A bunch of lies are out there, though; this sentence is one of them.
How do you cope with the fact that life is fleeting and you may suddenly die at any time?
I gave $30 to "Bob"! Salvation is Guaranteed, or TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK!
Do you have Slack?
By answering questions on /dqn/.
Why is this thread suddenly popular again after going without posts for a long while?
Posts on /dqn/ are like fashion trends: they're cyclical. What's old is new again.
Paul Graham is full of shit, but don't his essays have merit in the fact that they make you think, even if only so you can tell him how full of shit he is?
God created mosquitos to punish man for imageboard faggotry.
Do you ever find yourself saying smock over and over agian for many days just because it sounds so freaking cool? And why is saying smock so much cooler than wearing one?
Wearing a smock implies that you might be pretty smart, and high intelligence is inexplicably frowned upon by the masses. Stoopid masses...
Why aren't my roommates leaving yet?
They are sex0ring your mittens in the alley.
Who brought grandpa and junior here from 2ch?
i@MnLj My wonderful parties, of course.
i@MnLj Should I have another one soon?
Όρρρ( ί ί)ρρρ½ Hells yeah!
Όρρρ( ί -ί)ρρρ½ Long arms are nice and all, but how am I supposed to rub the mittens on my face?
Elbows.
Aww, did this thread go out of fashion so soon?
No, there was just a sudden influx of new threads.
Where did you get that pair of sweater pies?
At the sweatshop.. err, sweetshop.
How do I get the tea stains off of my mug?
Soak it in hot water and dish liquid.
Will the forces of darkness succeed in taking over the world?
Short answer yes with an if. Long answer no with a but.
Will 4ch die the next time NEWS4VIP pays it a visit?
Actually, I think that NEWS4VIP will slip 4ch a roofie, and 4ch will have to spend the money that it was saving for Spring Break on an abortion.
Do you crack an egg into your ramen?
No, I crack eggs into my semen. Or was that my semen cracks into eggs.
Why is life so complicated in this day and age?
Yes, I always love salmonilla with my monosodium glutamate.
If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
Why?
Why, Indeed? Why is such a basic question, that all I can really do is say "Because I'm the Daddy, that's why."
Should I go with Makita, DeWalt, or Milwaukee?
DeWalt brand condoms: for all your screwing needs.
GOD DAMNIT WHAT TYPE OF TREE AND WHY??!?!?!
I hate the tree question, so I'm not answering it.
What's with the fucking tree question anyway?
GOD DAMNIT WHAT TYPE OF TREE AND WHY??!?!?!
I just ejaculated and almost nothing but gummy seamen came out, no other type of ejaculate. Should I be worried?
>>654
No, fapping more than 3 or 4 times a day tends to alter the semen chemistry. Also, fapping after not fapping for a week tends to produce a wicked wad of jizz.
If I shit out butt pee 3 times in one day, should I be worried?
No, Junior. It's perfectly natural.
What is your favorite non-cola carbonated beverage?
7-up, it's the un-cola
When was the last time that the real squeeks posted on DQN?
I'll take "never" for 1000, Alex.
Hey, can you pass me some of that?
No, because I have no arms.
This is a funny neuronet is it not?
It depends. How much do you like Seinfeld?
Does the magic 8-ball REALLY know what it's talking about?
Ask again later.
What manner of unholy evil will 666GET be?
VIP©η«ά·½B
What song am I listening to right now?
"Superman" by Five For Fighting.
Be honest. If you could have sex with Squeeks, would you? I'LL KNOW IF YOU'RE LYING.
Alright, alright, I'm lying!
oh my god, I am sooo stoned right now. You know what I mean?
Duuude, do I ever!
Are you a SATAN-WORSHIPPING SATANIST OF SATAN?
HELLS NO!
Do you like cheese with your wine?
I prefer a nice porter.
Have you heard that Beer might have been the driving force in the development of civiliations?
Yes I have.
Do you agree that that's bullshit, as everyone knows sex was the driving force?
No I don't agree. Perhaos living in Australia has tinted my view on the matter though.
You heard me before, yet you hear me again, then I die, 'til you call me again.
What am I?
Squeeks
How's your stomach feeling?
It's O.K., I had a stomach ache yesterday, but now everything is fine.
Which is the most important challenge that civilization must face: global warming, obesity, or terrorism?
Alien invasion.
What is Tim's favorite flavor sauce?
Blair's 16 Million Reserve.
Are you made of metal?
No.
Saaya Irie is illegal?
Very.
How do you shot websites?
Distributed denial of service attacks.
What port do I input my penis into on my girlfriend? Keep in mind I am not running in protected mode.
Her pooper
? = 42
42
Who is John Galt (and why should we care)?
Some loser, and we shouldn't.
Don't you hate it when you write a witty answer to the question above you, but then some idiot comes along and preempts you with an unfunny, obvious answer?
lol what
Who is going to author the Squeeks article on wikipedia?
I think http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Neutrality volunteers to write it.
How do you know that the square root of 2 is an irrational number?
SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT THE SQUARE-ROOT OF SEVEN IS!? What are you, racist?
What song will people remember from us 100 years from now?
By the way, >>669: An echo.
All Alone for Christmas (as usual)
Will people still turn the gun on themselves 100 years from now?
Probably, but the guns will be much shinier and far more lethal.
I just found a piece of paper while cleaning. It said, in my handwriting, "SIB! DOSIIIB GSIB". What does that mean?
I think it means that death is imminent for you.
If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently?
I wouldn't have pulled the sword out of that goddamn stone.
What do you think of insects?
I think it's lots of fun (I'm assuming that was a typo and you meant "incest").
Why does that temperature scale that starts with a C have two names?
It doesn't, you're just a dumbshit.
What's the best thing George Lucas could do RIGHT NOW to make the world a better place?
give me his fortune
why won't he do that?
Because he's under the influence of the evil jar-jar binks
What's ten times as good as a 69?
under the moon loli to issho
bumsex bumsex bumsex bumsex?
What's the magic word?
Why don't people ask more nicely these days? What happened to good old-fashioned manners?
Fuck do I know? Piss off.
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Zlotenmeyer?
Ja! Beiherhund das oder die Flippenwaldt gersput!
Can anyone translate that back into English?
((/ f.ㄟ) Anglisch ist nicht dien only languagech inst der verld!!!
((/ f.ㄟ) I forgot my question
((/ f.ㄟ) why is it that everyone feels deep, passionate and unending hatred for me?
Because you're an asshole.
Why is it that elitist anonymouses rule the world and discriminate against us tripfags?
because the elitist superstructure is anonymous, and never forgives!
is the anonymous system used at 420chan's /b/ anonymous, or tripfaggy?
Yes.
Will anyone over at Love & Romance live happily ever after?
No one is immortal.
Or are they?
You're not cleared for that.
Am I a cop, you idiot?
Stop it.
Who told you you could eat my cookies?
The cop did.
If I was to sing that long song, how long will it take?
IT TOOK ME FUCKING 100 HOURS TO SING THAT LONG LOVE SONG.
Have you ever screwed up a deltree command?
No, I use a real operating system, therefore I screw up rm -rf
commands instead.
Why is >>704 still using Windows 98?
Because $300 is a lot of money.
What do you think of the new Slashdot look?
It's much cleaner, but I hate the font.
Should I quit caffeine again?
Why bother? You're just gonna get hooked again and you know it.
Who the hell actually BUYS Windows?
((/ f.ㄟ) People who are too lazy to cut themselves.
((/ f.ㄟ) Why can I never find true happiness?
Because you're bleeding and your eyes are closed. Work on that.
Why is Sony alienating its video game fanbase?
I guess because Nintendo alienated theirs, thus starting a trend.
What did Sony do, anyway?
Because its' video game fanbase only makes up 10% of sony's overall revenue stream.
Do you like golden showers?
No, but I watch the Silver Screen.
Are we truly in the Kali Yuga?
More like Dvapara Yuga.
Where are the secret headquarters of the elitist superstructure?
Have you considered joining the elitist superstructure?
I'm too good for any elitist superstructure that would accept me.
Where's those titties I like so well, and my goddamn beer?
Look in a mirror, and in the fridge.
Is it 662006 yet?
No, it's 946621993, why do you ask?
shit i just remembered 90210 for some reason
>>719 was too stupid to ask a question, so I'll ask one for him:
What was the best thing to come out of the 90's?
The beginning of the '00s.
Will the gay marriage amendment pass?
No, not a chance, but some senators will go on record as either supporting or opposing a wedge issue that is important to a powerful, vocal minority that tends to vote as a block.
How long will it be before my ears stop ringing?
About an hour or so, depending on how long you were in the bin and how hard it was being hit?
By the way, what were you doing in there in the first place?
06-06-06
Didn't I tell you I was hardcore?
Kill the hungry.
How do we bring about world peace?
First, we kill everyone who isn't hungry. Then, we solve world hunger.
Why are realdolls so expensive?
Three holes, no waiting.
Why don't I ever see happy-go-lucky feminists?
Cause they want more power. Even cutting off a mans penis is considered funny these days. Imagine showing cutting a womans breasts as a joke.
You you read the politically corrected news of BBC?
Because Nicolas Cage is busy right now.
Was Sarah Cloise the devil?
Strangely enough, the devil is actually an assistant HR manager at Vanguard. Catbert is loosely based on his actions.
What arts project can I do with all these little paper umbrellas?
A paper umbrella replica of the flying castle laputa.
Why does my BIOS go beeeep-bepbep-bebebebebebebep... when I try to boot?
It's not an APPLE!
Osaka > *, true or false?
DOUBLE TRUE.
If you found a one-way ticket to Loli Planet in your pocket, would you go?
Only if it's under the moon.
Why is 4chan down?
moot is off to sweden to have surgery to correct his gender dysphoria.
Have you considered http://wakachan.org for your image jonesing?
LOL No.
How many losers lurk on this site?
Only one, and his name is Όρρρi OΦOjρρρ½!
Have your turned in your informational card yet? We ask so we can send you information about the Group. You DO want information about the Group, don't you? The Group is good.
It's 1993 not nineteen eighty-four. Leave me alone.
Is it wrong if I masturbate to children but they never know? Sure there's some faux violation occuring but they should be flattered, know what I'm sayin'?
It's between you and the Lord. And the FBI agent reading this post.
Is emo the new grunge?
Emo is the new 1980s.
I'd like to hack the server. Do you know any Gameshark codes for this?
Try dlh.net, it's never failed me.
Is the best pronunciation for "the 00s" "the Naughties"?
I was told that it's the "Nothings", but I've been lied to before.
Do you feel that the best way to protect marriage is by forbidding homosexuals to marry, or to ban divorce?
What's there to "protect"? Marriage is a contract. It's a agreement between two people to behave in a certain way. Introducing unnecessary societal restraints in an agreement between two people is gonna create havoc and frustrations. Leave it alone, I'd say.
How do I change the ugly new Slashdot font back to the previous one?
Greasemonkey.
Why would >>745 want to go to that website anyway?
He was banned from Fark.
What is nougat made of?
Oh My God, It's Full Of Stars!
So, was coming down from the trees a bad idea?
there are like 3 people posting in this thread.
Yes, and so was creeping out of the sea.
How do I satisfy women?
by growing up
so you are a fag college student also?
Not yet.
What's the best way to get this shit out of my hair?
Well, if it's actually shit, just use shampoo. If it's chewing gum, use freon to freeze it, and hit it with a hammer.
Can I please have a quick and simple recipe for dinner? I feel like cooking, but I don't know what to make.
open a can. eat contents
Shouldn't it be "press button, recieve bacon"?
No. 'i' before 'e' except after 'c'.
Would a Battle Royale MMORPG be cool?
It'd probably work better as a Counterstrike mod.
How do I get rid of an inner ear viral infection?
Cipro and patience.
How are you going to spend your summer vacation this year?
"Traveling"
Anyone else think this hurricane season's going to a huge dissapointment?
Hell, I certainly hope so. My territory is NC down to FL, then over to TX. I saw thousands of dollars in commissions get washed away last year.
Have you written to your Senator urging him to support net neutrality?
Not yet, I'm still neutral on the neutrality issue.
Anyone else think the Candy Cane season's (it follows the hurricane season) going to be a huge disappointment?
I think it will flop, sending the respective companies more than halfway into the red. And as you know such an imbalance of colour really pisses off those candy cane fatcats. Let's hope Suicide Season (it follows Candy Cane season) gets them before they get us.
Was Robert Stack more attractive during The Untouchables' era or the Unsolved Mysteries era?
Definitely during the Untouchable's. Definitely.
I'm having the runs this morning. What should I eat to settle my stomach?
Asphalt.
Does Japan have a chance to beat Brazil after losing to the Aussies?
Can't see it myself, but on today's form they should be capable of at least competing with Croatia, group could still go anywhere.
Were the White Stripes ever really any good?
No, and Red Stripe is pisswater, too.
If you throw a yellow rock into the Red Sea, what does it become?
Love.
Is it just me, or is the new Muse album not as good as Absolution?
A yellow rock submerged in water.
Why do people insist on having such ridiculous character traits as pride?
Because they like to think they are creative, even if their little creatitivity is wasted on something so unimportent.
Why haven't I seen a repeatable lab experiment to confirm the existence of global warming, rather than a computer model based on assumed numbers?
It wouldn't make a bit of difference to you, as you'd find fault in the methodology.
How many oysters DID the walrus and the carpenter eat?
There's a far more important question than that.
Considering the aphrodisiac effect of oysters, how many hours of hawt bestiality happened afterwards?
Unfortunately, they both got hepatitis from eating oysters out of season, so sex was out of the picture.
How is this St. Jude medallion that I glued to the side of my computer helping me?
>>771
Because you know that inside the medallion is a camera, wand spying on youy is your future employer.
Has anybody ever sucessfully installed a screw with a hammer, or a nail with a screwdriver?
I did the latter with a very thick-handled screwdriver.
If I invented a perpetual motion machine whose operational by-products included squaring the circle and eradicating poverty, hunger and injustice, which Nobel prize would I get?
the third one.
what question will 990get ask?
An illegal question that will result in jail time.
Isn't it a little bit scary that there are illegal questions?
Not as scary as all those illegal operations performed by allegedly legitimate software on your PC on a daily basis.
What if the cops found out about all that illegality?
They wouldn't do shit because The Elitist Superstructure keeps them on a leash.
Worst thing that could happen to NHK ni Youkoso in Tokyopop's sticky clutches?
Having Haruhiism licensed by ADV.
Is it really winter in Australia?
Sort of, as it is close enough to the equator to limit seasonal change.
Has anybody found a great way to topple the elitist superstructure?
by associating with it.
what ever happened to those pax jikkauru (whatever) people?
You mean Pax-Tsukuru www.pax-tsukuru.com? They are working with the other communities (member communities) towards the mutual symbiosis.
so i herd u liek mudkips. Confirm/deny?
CONFIRM I luuuuuuuuuuuve mudkips.
What is a sour fruit that does not begin with the letter 'l'?
Carambola.
Did >>782 really think that was some sort of tricky question?
Most certainly, because it was deliberately provocative, and a bit mean, too.
And what did you mean by that?!
What did I mean by what?
Oh, this?
No, not that. The other >>787 post.
What goes well with hot cereal?
Milk.
Would you take 30 years off your life if it meant meeting Suiseiseki?
@ ΘQΘ
@( ΝO)@>>789. Without a doubt Ε·£~I
@i@@@@Α-~@
@ ΘQΘ
@( ΝO)@791. Please tell us a little about your first love!
@i@@@@Α-~
She was cute, blonde, we were both 8, and she kissed me because I caught a monarch butterfly.
Why do we dwell on the past?
People have a tendency to conciously damage themselves despite their best interests. We can't help it, really.
I read someone say -- I think it was a programmer saying it or some shit -- although I presume they rippped someone else off (but does it really matter?): Regret is like driving while looking at the rear view mirror.
Does this ring truth with you? If you bring up Hitchcock I'll kill you right here in front of all these faggots.
It does, as it obscures a clear view of the future when your focus is on the past.
How does this relate to "Mindfulness"?
It doesn't.
Or does it?
It might.
Who are we to define such concepts as whether something "does" or "doesn't", anyway?
That depends on our status as most supreme creatures on this planet.
If we are indeed supreme, how did the world come into being?
The legends say it was willed into existence by a group of unsuspecting godlike beings.
What should I have for dinner?
Steack hacheL frites.
Would that satisfy you?
Not as much as a Snickers Bar.
What's the most meaningful song you've heard?
DQN Song #1
Was this worthy of 800GET?
Most certainly. I never saw a worthier 800GET.
Alright, so I put this new PC together, and it keeps crashing during WinXP setup. I've updated the BIOS, exchanged the CD/DVD drive, low-level formatted the harddrive twice and taken out all nonessential hardware. Yet it still bluescreens during XP setup. If this is true, where is what I do?
( ί -ί) I'm a PC
( ί ί) I'm a Mac
Why you'll love a Mac.
You can make amazing stuff.
It's amazingly simple to turn your
photos, music and video into websites,
photo books, DVDs and more:
See the ad
http://www.apple.com/getamac/
Aren't Macs cool guys?
Install Lunix, problem solved!
What is the cool thing to be right now?
A Mac. You can't beat a Mac, as has just been demonstrated.
I think the real question is why is everything that's not a Mac just so terribly uncool?
Only an idiot cares what's cool.
I assume that 806 is so concerned with idiocy that he failed to frame a question, so >>805, I can't really get a handle on >>r's motivation. I think that the writer didn't give us a good sense of >>r's history or thought processes, so frankly, >>r was a flawed character from the start.
I like dipping my pretzels in chocolate ice cream. How about you?
I live in Bavaria. We have proper-sized pretzels here. I like dipping them into sweet mustard.
Will South Germany ever rise again?
Only with a healthy dose of Viagra.
Is tying Italy a major accomplishment for the USA?
Only if you think soccer is important.
Why is it that my awesome Mac slows to a crawl in only a few months of regular use, requiring me to reinstall the OS to get its performance back?
Because it hates you.
Why does my leg itch?
because the tanasinn is CRAWLING IN YOUR SKIN
How do I "magicked" my way into the university I applied to ?
Suck a few dicks, here and there.
Should I stay up to watch Brazil vs Aussies or not bother?
Staying two hours in front of the TV can be suprisingly easy if you use valium medicated prescription of valium pills and herbal valium and valium alternatives and injected valium and generic valium
Do you regularly use valium you can order at the online pharmacy 100% secure SSL payment server 5mg 10mg with herbal valium and valium injections of valuim pills (valum pills) when you discover the opportunity of an online pharmacy you can trust?
I take opium, sorry.
Why did someone create the (`DL) thread when this thread will give you all the answers you need?
He was amused by the (`DL) AA.
Why have I taken like six naps today?
Beats me.
Why have I taken like six faps today?
Beats yours.
Why have I worn no cap today?
You really WANT sunstroke. A LOT. And sun poisoning on your nose. I seriously recommend sunblock.
How do I get a writ of nunc pro tunc so I can overturn this damned suspension?
Rid of Nunc Pro Tunc? I thought he got killed in a New York gang turf war.
Will N'Orleans ever be rebuilt?
>>820 That implies that New Orleans was actually built in the first place. I for one think it's all propaganda.
What would happen if you created a lightgun shooter with the concept of Warzaid, the graphics and physics of CarnEvil, and the voice acting of House of the Dead 4?
It would be released shortly after the Duke Nukem Forever port for GNU/Hurd.
Why does >>r actually link to some post? What kind of obscure kareha feature is that?
random I guess.
who would win in a fight between bucky o'hare and jazz jackrabbit?
Definitely Bucky.
Why am I so great?
Because you're Derek Smart.
You're up early today, doctor. Can I get you anything?
I need a speculum and a digital camera, stat!
What's wrong?
I'm out of valium.
Will I go into withdrawl?
No, but you might slobber a little.
Is your mom single?
Yes, but she's decided that she doesn't want to be married ever again.
Why do I feel such reluctance to check my messages?
You're a passive-aggressive wuss.
What's that coming over the hill?
Why, it's a gay getting married!
Isn't that wonderful?
No, its full of gay and hillclimbing.
Why did the newtonian-cartesian worldview fail?
Because it was a lot like IRC, which IIRC a thread on 4-ch correctly FAILED.
Press Ctrl-Alt-F4-Delete.
Are you going to kill me?
>>837
http://4-ch.net/ascii/kareha.pl/1112629846
a^n + b^n = c^n
I need non-zero integers for a, b, and c please.
Open a math book.
Will the space shuttle blow up?
Yes.
Was my answer too short?
Yes.
Will the next answer be red?
LIKE A COMMUNIST ON FIRE.
Is it morning?
Don't worry about the world ending tomorrow - it's already tommorow somewhere.
Isn't it awkward to meet someone you know in real life online, and vice versa?
Only if it's in sexually meaning.
Does anyone else think the phrase "in sexually meaning" doesn't make any sense?
Of course it doesn't. 'Sexually' is an adverb. It is poor English, no matter how you look at it.
Will you watch football or the Tour de France today, and why?
The Tour de France, of course. Italy won it all DAYS ago.
Now that couchsurfer is gone, how will you find places to crash?
>>846, I don't know, but it will definitely involved torture, and possibly death.
Whose stupid idea was it to make topics automatically close at 999 posts?
Obviously, it was Modd. He has always hated/despised/loathed 1000-san, and was secretly working behind the scenes to have him deported.
What would happen to a mere human if it was to REALLY understand everything going on in the outre dimensions?
Instant cranial explosion.
Which is the best site boss/figurehead? Squeeks, Lain, or moot?
>>850
ok lol
Why does MODD!5JrU4QOlH6 fail at having a question for me to solve?
Nigga please
What character is top tier in the 2ch character battle?
Needless to say, it's Shii. Cuteness conquers all, and you'll get paper cuts from her cardboard box.
What's your favorite snack?
WT
What's your favorite piece of winter wear?
>>856 is too lost in mittenplation to think of a question, so I will ask one in his stead. What's the best way to prepare tonight's pork tenderloin?
Really, is there any way to ruin a good tenderloin?
So, what's with all the fighting?
ITT WE FUCKING KILL THE ABOVE POSTER has a hole in it. It's themes are leaking out in to the world.
What do you like on your hamburgers?
A seconed hamburger, I am american after all.
Can I have some bacon?
Sure you can, and some swiss cheese as well.
I'm a rare fan, myself. I like my burger to gently moo with each bite. How about you?
I like Rocky Mountain Oysters, personally.
Ever had one?
No, but I will have to, sooner or later.
If I'm too lazy to even get up and eat, how soon will I die?
You have three weeks.
Does anyone visit iichan's /b/?
What the hell is iichan?
I mean, seriously, what the hell is it?
Nothing of importance.
I hear 4chan's like that too?
It's made of irrelevance and.... I'm not sure what else it's made of. Probably vegetable oil.
What was the last good GET?
1 Million. Senator Rodden Clitoris posted a more accurate depiction of the female orgasm.
I don't know how to respond to that, and so I won't.
What is your favorite Trout Fishing in America song?
Probably "Government Orders (Fish Just or Fish Dead)"
What's that book you're writing about?
Some of Robert Silverberg's early work, while he was still young and self-important.
Have you considered participating in /lit/ ?
Not really. I figure nearly every board is completely off-topic and just stay on DQN, which is the least off-topic.
Are you snoke the drug?
( ί ί) If by "snoke," you mean "wore," and by "drug," you mean "MITTENS," then you bet!
Is there a life outside of 4-ch? I can't remember.
Yes and it's wonderful. Lots of plastics. Lots of ground floors. Marriage. It's got it all.
Is there a life inside 4-ch? I can't remember.
Cave cricket.
Haven't I seen this somewhere before?
Clear your cache.
What's with all these thunderstorms over the past few weeks?
God's wrath and cow farts.
Could Bartertown really have run on pig shit?
( ί ί) If by "Bartertown," you mean "wores," and by "shit," you mean "MITTENS," then you bet!
Why is grandpa such a pervert?
Comes with the territory. It's an inhereted position, like sex, you understand?
Transmetropolitan: Greatest comic ever, or GREATEST comic ever?
Bah, Global Frequency was better.
AA: ASCII Art or Alcoholics Anonymous?
It has been called the Argentum Astrellum, too, but it's true name is the Illuminati, aka The Elitist Superstructure.
Who is your Short Duration Personal Savior (shordurpersav) for today?
Bu-n guy.
Be honest: can anything NOT be solved with the use of MITTENS?
Yeah, but that's why they invented duct tape.
Is there anything duct tape can't do?
Nothing. And it's not just for the bedroom anymore!
Why can't I concentrate today?
Because the Internet is eroding our attention spans.
What was the question again?
It was "How do I shot web?"
So... how DO I shot web?
Turn your palm upwards, extend thine arm towards thine enemy, and press thy middle and ring finger upon the middle of thy palm, and the Web shall shot from thy wrist, leaving thine enemies in a quagmire.
This is also the american sign language symbol for "I Love You." How does that signify?
It is a mystery.
Will we ever finish the Really Long Song?
I certainly hope not. It would be longer than Stairway to Heaven back to back with Howl.
What song has your favorite drum solo? (Mine is Inagaddadavida)
Mine is Frankenstein, by the Edgar Winter Group.
What does tanasinn mean?
Amen Brother
Is it just me, or has DQN been getting busier lately?
September is coming, so I'm not thinking, but feeling.
Is Moby Dick better as a novel or a drum solo?
Novel. It's way too long for a drum solo.
Whats with all these song threads?
People who can't write music them selfs depending on others to write it for them, so they can make millions with the '4-ch' song of course. It's about money, It's always about money
What's the point in asking a question to a random stranger?
You can get frank answers that you won't get from people you know.
Do I smell?
The way the dandelions shrivel and turn brown as you pass by should be your clue, you walking fast food dumpster.
Was that too harsh? I can't tell any more.
No, this is too harsh: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was I too harsh, even considering that I intended to demonstrate "too harsh"?
No.
Was I too soft?
Yes, you weak little pussy.
What's with the heat these days?
Global warming, dude.
Was that the easiest 900get ever?
Your adept ways and extraordinary skills just made it look easy. Stop selling yourself short!
What kind of wine goes best with a good cheeseburger?
Close, but I can't come up with a good example of anything easier.
Wow, this thread's finally going to >>999-get. It's been a long time coming.
Close, but I can't come up with a good example of anything easier.
Wow, this thread's finally going to >>999-get. It's been a long time coming, don't you think?
I agree, but what about my question?
What kind of wine goes best with a good cheeseburger?
If you continue double-posting, sure.
Why do some people find the term "affiliation" to contain connotations that they find unpleasant?
Reunite, and implied homosexuality.
When will I be able to buy Butterscotch, the Furreal Robot Pony?
2010, I promise.
Why am I so happy?
Because you're on DQN, where you can just chill out and totally relax.
Where does the idea that "Japan=superior" come from?
Mostly from elitists who dislike american animation on the grounds that it's american, and therefore lacks pantsu.
How many panty flashes occurred in the first episode of Najica?
911 GET JIHAD !!
Please state your insults in the form of a question.
What kind of wine DOES go with a cheeesburger?
Beer.
Why are all american girls so rough?
Maybe when we reach 999.
Will we ever reach 999?
Only if 999-san is lost in the night and fog.
What was squeeks trying to say when he cut the max posts per thread value to 999?
Squeeks was trying to say "My name is Squeeks and this thread sucks dick like the rest of those wannabe "Lets get to 1000 by.""
What is the most peculiar fetish you can think of?
Earwax. Let's not discuss it any further.
Is there any fish happier than the Puffer?
The clown fish
Is this real or is it a dream?
Pinch yourself and then see if it hurts or not.
Is it just me, or are western art styles being pushed out in favour of the notable big-eyed, large-haired style from Japan?
Yes, ths is the real life.
Now, is this just fantasy?
yeah, it's a funny internet, and we're all probably disgustingly drunk anyway
why are most of the questions and answers off, is there some sort of posting frenzy going on?
more people are coming to 4-ch! this means more livelyhood and a bright future!
i wonder if these people really are coming from world4ch?
I came from the sky. That is all I know.
Is DQN usually not this busy on friday?
DQN? Busy? Don't make me chuckle!
Do you balance your checkbook right after you buy something or do you let reciepts pile up?
My reciepts pile up, unfortunately.
If 4chan died, would anyone really miss it?
Out of a compulsion to appear unconventional without really working at it.
Are you gay?
No, it's just a good way to get guys to give me free cocaine.
Will there be a part 2?
Of course, a thread never ends at 999
What is love?
DAILY SAGE
>>930 Baby, don't hurt me no more, but I don't know.
How can I tell if the cookies are ready to come out of the oven?
If the smoke detector goes off.
Do you think you're above the law?
no I AM the law
do we ever stop?
NEVER.
Why is mine the loneliest number?
The loneliest number is 1, so no worries, just cross your eyes!
Why are WTFUX and 420chan down?
It's either a vast internet conspiracy, or a serious lack of cash.
Does anyone here actually browse WTFux or 420chan?
I sure as hell don't.
Does anybody want this cake I made?
Only if it's delicious.
Should I go outside today? Sitting here with the AC on is so much nicer.
Yes, you should go into town too
Should I go to sleep soon? It's 11:03 here.
Only if you've got something worth getting up early for tomorrow.
Now, does work qualify as worth getting up for?
no
why am i unemployed?
( ίΝί) BECAUSE THIS IS A SONG THREAD SONG THREAD SONG THREAD
( ίΝί) WHY DO I TALK LIKE THIS
(ίΝί) BECAUSE OF SUGARRRRRRR
( ίΝί) WHAT IS LOVE?
>>944: A miserable little pile of secrets!
Will 999GET live up to the hype?
4-ch as we know it will be destroyed by aliens in an attempt to take over tyhgdfbvgdbhdfbgfdgbfnghnghnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(Will you please wake me up?)
Too late, I go-goed
DAILY SAGE
Your days are numbered, Mr Sage!
How many days does he have left, exactly?
I don't know. I never got to the end without biting.
Mr. Owl, how many days does Mr Sage have left?
Ah-1, ah-2, ah-3, crunch. 3.
Tootsie-roll pops, or dum-dums?
BIDAILY SAGE PART 2
Dum-dums, just like >>952
If squeeks lives in tomorrow, can the world ever be destroyed?
yes, but we'll have 24 hours notice.
Come on, can we make it to 1000?
i L_½Mj
How do I shot web?
web 101 is that way
at what point do we just post filler questions simply to hurry 999GET along?
Now!
Who am I?
You are Όρρρi OΦOjρρρ½.
how do I shot web2.0?
Knead your dick.
Why am I still feeling blue?
The paint hasn't washed off
Does this look swollen to you?
yeah... maybe you shouldn't knead your dick that much.
Where in the world is carmen sandieago?
My bed
Hey! where'd she go? She was here just a minute ago!
My bed now, BITCH!
Why am I so hungry?
Because you only had two pizzas
How many pizzas will it take to fill >>963 up?
@@@@ ΘQΘ
@@@^@ ίΝί _@ Millions!
@@ i@@@@@@@j
@@@_@@@@ ^
@@@@iQ_jQj
Why are you not bringing me pizzas?!
@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@
@i QQ j@@@@
@i@EΝEj@@My name is Squeeks, and I don't deliver!
@iΒ@@ Β@@@
@b b@|@@@@@
@i_QjQj@@
Will we get 999 today?
Because you're not bringing me mittens!
Who likes mittens?
Perhaps.
Will you pick me a flower?
NO, AND OMG MITTENS!
Will you make me mittens!?
Out of human skin
How will you react to sleeping through 999GET?
BASTARDS! Just like the mittens thread!
Did you get 999 on the mittens thread?
As a member of the Elitist Superstructure of DQN, I am proud to announce that I was part of 999GET on the mittens thread.
Were YOU part of 999GET?
Yes. I GOT it.
Were YOU part of the finale of the mittens thread?
( ί ί) Of course, I'm mittens!
( ί ί) Where are my mittens?
Youtube.
What does dish soap taste like?
Ramen-dattebayo.
Ramen-dattebayo?
Yes.
Cactus?
No-dattebayo.
Mittens-dattebayo?
(L^ิ౪Oิ)( ίΝί)i@MnLj(DL)( EΦE)( LΝ)(ijΔͺͺͺ²ij)<€MΝL>
Don't forget everyone else!!!
Does this board have too many characters?
No-dattebayo.
Why am I ending my sentences in dattebayo-dattebayo?
DAILY SAGE
I don't know-dattebayo
Oh no-dattebayo! Is this contagious-dattebayo?
It must be-dattebayo.
Is there a cure for this curse-dattebayo?
I don't know-dattebayo
Oh no-dattebayo! Is this contagious-dattebayo?
Stop repeating yourself-desu.
Yay, by ending my sentences with desu, I can stop ending my sentences with dattebayo-desu!
Oops, forgot my question-desu.
How many Suiseisekis does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Too many, desu.
Why do people like to end their sentences with desu?
Because it's trendy, -nyoro~n.
Are we there yet?
Still 11 more to go.
Are we there yet?
Yes, you may exit now
I thought the final GET would be much better than this; didn't you?
10 more.
Are we there yet?
If you say that one more time I'll put this thread in reverse and we'll go all the way back to 1.
Did I miss the turn I was supposed to make?
No, keep driving.
are we in a car?
Yes, but you made one you weren't supposed to, so it's alright.
Does a true pervert necessarily appreciate asses more than cunts?
There a diffrent types of perverts, so no.
@@@@ @ ΘQΘ
@ @@@@i@ ί ίj@Let's go 999 up ahead!!
@@@@@ i@½±½
@@ @@ (Q)ΝάRΜ
@@@@ i @@i@EΦEj
ίίί@\½½
@@@@ @ ΘQΘ
@ @@@@i@ ί ίj@oops forgot question!!!!
@@@@@ i@½±½
@@ @@ (Q)ΝάRΜ
@@@@ i @@i@EΦEj
ίίί@\½½
@@@@ @ ΘQΘ
@ @@@@i@ ί ίj@Do you love my new SUV?
@@@@@ i@½±½
@@ @@ (Q)ΝάRΜ
@@@@ i @@i@EΦEj
ίίί@\½½
Does it come with a mittens compartment?
@@@@ @ ΘQΘ
@ @@@@i@ ί ίj@of course!!
@@@@@ i@½±½
@@ @@ (Q)ΝάRΜ
@@@@ i @@i@EΦEj
ίίί@\½½
Are you last?
I don't think I am!
Are you?!?!