ITT we solve the question above us. (999)

1 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4571 21:56

4 + 4 = ?

201 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 02:05

>>200 You have too much imagination.

Are we alone in the Universe?

202 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 11:22

>>201 I really hope not. It'd be pretty depressing if humans, including vippers and /b/tards, were the most advanced beings in the universe.

What's going to be the next radical new fad among nerds after anime-fever has subsided?

203 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 11:28


Why is Tokyopop still in business?

204 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 14:14

Courtney Love is paying them to keep Princess AI in print.

Was there ever anime so vile as Don't Leave Me Daisy?

205 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 16:15


Why do people ask yes or no questions in this thread, as if they don't realize how little those questions leave to the imagination?

206 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 16:51


How do you escape from your daily existence?

207 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 19:58


Do you still beat your sister?

208 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 20:12

It really depends on what you are inferring by using the word "Beat", as it has several meanings and there's nothing within that paragraph's context to determine what you intended.

What foods should I serve for sunday brunch?

209 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 20:16

Fried chicken and waffles.

Just what does >>208 do to his sister?

210 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 20:42

It really depends on what you are inferring by using the word "do", as it has several meanings and there's nothing within that paragraph's context to determine what you intended.

What was your favorite scene in "Tapeheads"?

211 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4595 23:36

>>210 The part where >>208 beats his sister.

Do I stuff the chicken with the waffles?

212 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 00:01

No. Serve the chicken on top of waffles with syrup and butter optional.

What did >>208's sister do to deserve such a variety of beatings?

213 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 00:59

She recited passages from the bible backwards with multiple voices while floating in air and making her eyes glow bright red somehow.

Is it time to take the pizza out yet?

214 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 01:32

No, give it another hour. I like the cheese black.

Are you a samurai?

215 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 02:03


Can I get you gentlemen anything? Coffee? Tea? Smokes?

216 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 02:10

Get me >>208's sister so I can beat her.

Is it true that chicken tastes like humans?

217 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 02:42

No, but human is strikingly similar to crocodile.

Where did you say you put it?

218 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 04:16

>>217 In >>208's sister face.

Do butter work for >>208's sister black eye?

219 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 14:38

It works fine to remove scribbles by a magic marker! But I'm not so sure about if it's the same with an damaged eye..

>>220 Are you the creator of this fine thread?

220 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 15:06

No, >>1 is.

Where is >>208's sister right now, and what is she doing?

221 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 15:20

She's crying into her hands because her brother is >>208

How many pokemon are there now? It must be a crapload more than 150.

222 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 22:25

386 =>

Is it safe to pour vegetable oil into my eyes?

223 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4596 22:37

As long as it isn't partially hydrogenated, sure.

what foods are you most likely to ignore expiration dates, and why do you feel safe doing it?

224 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 00:42

Potato chips. Those suckers will keep for MONTHS!

What is your favorite chemical?

225 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 02:12

Capsaicin. Love those hot peppers.

What is the WORST WORD ever?

226 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 02:54


Do you hate April Fools day as much as I do?

227 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 03:23

Indeed. BTW, PONIES!!!11

what's your opinion on /guro/?

228 Name: Shii : 1993-09-4597 03:52

Horihone Saizou is erotic, but otherwise I don't really enjoy it.

Does the 4-ch front page need updating?

229 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 04:35

Yes, news4vip left long ago.

Why is Shii using his name everywhere? At least he isn't using a tripcode

230 Name: Shii : 1993-09-4597 05:57

I needed to use it on /mod/ and now wakaba 3.0 filled it in for me everywhere. I'll remove it after this post, OK.

So, why are 20-year-old girls all over Neil Gaiman? He seems like a perfectly average fantasy writer.

231 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 08:43

Because he's fucking NEIL GAIMAN, BITCH.

OK, so I bought Advance Wars for the DS, now what else should I get?

232 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 12:52

A real console.

Is there a question that has no answer?

233 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 13:31

Why are you such a goddamned idiot?

Anyway, there are birds outside my window (I'm on the 4th floor). How do I get them all to shut up so I can go back to sleep?

234 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4597 13:47

Shoot them. You get a free breakfast as an added bonus.

Why does the tales of the abyss soundtrack only have two good songs, and why are they shitty versions of songs from tales of eternia?

235 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4598 12:24

2. ???
3. PROFIT!!!

Have you seen Ice Age?

236 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4598 21:32

"I, Sage" was the biggest hit of the Japanese cinema of the past five years. Unfortunately, it never made it to any festivals, and is mostly unknown outside of Japan.

Who is cooler, the King of Beggers, the God of Cooks, or the God of Gamblers and why?

237 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 02:54

The God of Cooks: otherwise, what would we eat?

Tits or ass?

238 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 03:55

  _  ∩
( ゚∀゚)彡 おっぱい! おっぱい!

Contingency planning?

239 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 04:50

Yes indeed.

Why is my text blinking, while my cursor is not?

240 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 05:48

Squeeks set the css on the textbox to blink. I'm not sure what's wrong with the cursor though.

How many more threads can grandpa last before we get tired of him?

241 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 06:17

As many as it takes until Squeeks cuts off payments to the hosting company.

Is there somebody out there for me?

242 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 06:36


Why does /dqn/ suck so bad?

243 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 06:59

Because you're here.

When will >>242 leave?

244 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 07:00

Because you touch yourself at night.

(・∀・) How is this thread different from Grandpa's?

245 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 07:04


How can we prevent two people from solving the same question in the future?

246 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 10:26

Pick one of the two for deletion

Which is more deserving of the many love and accolades which they recieve; Corea or Something Awful?

247 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 11:27

Trick question.

Please fondle my bum.

248 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 12:34

Cannot compute. Please reformulate the question.

Is Q God?

249 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 12:49

Yes. He became a mortal, and sacrificed himself to save the Enterprise, then went back to being omnipotent.

What kind of sacrifice would Q find seemly?

250 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 16:32

Maybe a ball.

What's that bird whistling outside my window?

251 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 18:28

It's whistling "Who da man? WHO DA MAN? Oh Yeah! You Want Somma Dis!" to the bitches.

Why is it so fucking windy today?

252 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 19:41

Because the trees are sneezing a lot -- they're allergic to tree pollen.

Why do posts on DQN take so damn long to post these days?

253 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 19:50

Why do posts on DQN take so damn long to post these days?

BECAUSE IT'S WINTER (somewhere)!

254 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 20:37

That's not a question

Why did >>253 fail it?

256 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 22:35


Why do YOU think >>253 failed it?

257 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 22:39

All I know is that >255 is doing a damn good job of failing it.

Does the rain in Spain fall mostly on the plain? Or is that just bullshit?

258 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4601 22:45

The rain in spain mostly falls on muh dick

Has anyone ever visited

259 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 00:49


What will happen to junior once grandpa's thread v3 hits 1000?

260 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 01:06

He will wait for Grandpa v4 and post there.

What will Grandpa v3's final post be?

261 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 01:43


When did you begin acting like this?

262 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 11:57

I was born with it.

Do they have "In Capitalistic USA..." jokes in Soviet Russia?

263 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 12:25

In Soviet Russia, "in capitalistic USA..." jokes have THEM!

What if there is no grandpa v4?

264 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 12:39

Oh, don't worry. Someone will restart it. Someone always does...

Why do jokes hang on so far past their Laugh At date on the internet anyway?

265 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4602 13:07

Because internet jokes are made from Velveeta, the Cheese that Would Not Die.

Do you think that Butterscotch, the Hasbro Robotic Pony will be the big hit this Christmas, and what's the best hack for its programming?

266 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 01:05

Not likely with a $300 price tag; best hack is to convert it into a vibrator.

Why does my coffee taste like crap when it's cold?

267 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 01:34

Much like sake, any coffee will taste decent when its hot - only high quality java is good cold.

Was the $50 I just spent on Kingdom Hearts II wasted?

268 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 03:04

Not if you're gay.

Who am us, anyway?

269 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 03:27

We are the DQN Theatre.

Why does a Digg page never complete loading in my browser? Is it because Web 2.0 is crap?

270 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 09:48

You need to upgrade your processor, add more ram and get a better internet connection, then digg will go VROOM VROOM

Was it inappropriate of me to give >>269 an serious answer to his question?

271 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 14:33

It's the Ultimate DQN: showing intelligence in a DQN forum!

What's the fastest way to earn a million bucks?

272 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 14:50

Rob a bank; it's also the fastest way to loose a million bucks!

Digg or /.?

273 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 16:24


Will Microsoft manage to kill open source?

274 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 20:00


Why is 4chan becoming less and less Japanese?

275 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 20:14

Because the mods are something awful.

Why is it that ebaumsworld is so superior?

276 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4603 23:39


Is it me or is getting worse and worse?

277 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 05:20

Wired's web design is just so 2000.

Which is more amusing: RAGEQUIT or RAGEJOIN?

278 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 06:24


Why does >>276 think anyone cares about his crappy flash animation getting stolen?

279 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 09:35

>>276 is an idiot

What's this thing on my penis?

280 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 11:40

that would be a girl.

Should I do eggs or pancakes for breakfast today?

281 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 15:16

Eggs. Make an egg sandwich!

VIP? or DQN? Is there a difference?

282 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 16:33

No. Both are equally a bunch of idiots, easily forgotten.

Should I up my ritalin to 20mg TID?

283 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 18:32

Not enough. Make It 50mg.

Is 4-ch really going to die?

284 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4604 19:10

4-ch is eternal moment, like tanasinn.

♪ Do you feeeeeeel like we do? ♪

285 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4605 06:06

Goodness, I hope so!

What song is this at ...? It's been bothering me, and I can't rest until I find out!

286 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 12:52

The Magical 8Ball says "Ask Shii".

Can drama be converted into kinetic energy?

287 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 14:31

We'll find out in Three Weeks!


288 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 15:03

Not on MY hard drive! Luckily, I have an ipod.

Why is anonymity used as an excuse to dodge responsibility?

289 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 15:11

It's addictive to talk shit w/out getting smacked down.

It snowed last night, isn't it supposed to be fucking spring yet??!?!?!?!?!?!?!???

290 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 15:42

It's like 80 degrees here, and the grass is coming back to life, so yes it's spring. Quit living in IglooTown.

Is 4-ch still up?

291 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 15:46

Like Johnny Wadd and his favorite fluffer!

Do you love Desiree Cousteau? She's MUCH cuter than Vanessa Del Rio.

292 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 16:52



293 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 17:52

Ahem. "Do you love Desiree Cousteau? She's MUCH cuter than Vanessa Del Rio."

Do you love Desiree Cousteau? She's MUCH cuter than Vanessa Del Rio.

294 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 18:17

Oh! I did hear you right the first time. Never heard of either.

Can anyone recommend a good hearing specialist?

295 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4606 18:29

Generally, you need to go through your primary physician and get a referrel who participates in your health plan.

Is socialized medicine/universal healthcare going to lead to less advanced care, but greater preventative care?

296 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 01:18

No, because I'll fight socialized medicine and other socialist nonsense tooth and nail.

What's that on your teeth?

297 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 02:18

Your wife's pubic hair.

Why does everybody always want to hit me?

298 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 09:25

You have >>296's wife's pubic hair in your teeth all the time.

Is there anything I can to do halp 4-ch?

299 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 09:39

Start a partition.

Do you smell that?

300 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 14:12

Yeah, but I'm not really sure what it is. Let's take a look around.

Why does Tony Danza still have a fucking talkshow? It's not because he's funny, so is it because he gives free jewlery to the entire audience?

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