ITT we solve the question above us. (999)

1 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4571 21:56

4 + 4 = ?

301 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4607 14:14

Free Shiatsu!

Is it cruel to breed dogs that need sweaters for the cold weather?

302 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 13:22

Not really. Just stick sweaters on them when cold weather comes.

Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson?

303 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 14:36

Paris, of course. She has a hotel named after her, and not the other way around.

As long as we're on the subject, what has Tonya Harding been up to these days?

304 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 18:49

http://www.tonyaharding.org/ > Tonya Harding, former Olympic Skater turned Pro Boxer. Within these pages you will find a wealth of information.

Oh god, Why me?

305 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 18:58

Because you're the Chosen One.

Kathy Griffin or Sara Silverman?

306 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 20:39

Option 3: Put it in.

If you were up to your neck in shit, and someone threw a bucket of shit at your head, would you duck?

307 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 22:16

To the side, maybe.

Where the fuck did all my money go?

308 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4613 23:47

To the goddamn FUCKUPS at the goddamn IRS!

Who must I slay to get my money back???!!!

309 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 02:35

The goddamn FUCKUPS at the goddamn IRS!

Pumpkin or Raspberry-Rhubbarb?

310 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 03:19

Raspberry-Rhubbard, of course.

Would you fuck Brittney Spears?

311 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 03:55

Not if you paid me $100. (maybe for $1000)

Did you play Cave Story yet?

312 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 04:50

Yes.

Why is the world a cruel, unforgiving place?

313 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 07:48

Because you never got the secret ending.

How much longer will my cold last?

314 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 08:13

two years.
why is france such a violent place?

315 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 09:05

Don't know.

Do you?

316 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 09:36

It all started going downhill when the commoners seized power.

Is there a doctor in the audience?

317 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 12:28

I have a Ph.D in english from Oxford, if that helps at all.

Did you eat the ears or the tail of your chocolate bunny first?

318 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 12:42

I bit out its eyes while screaming "STOP LOOKING AT ME!"

Is Iowa a better place to live than Texas?

319 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 13:01

It slowly becomes one after you develop your 100 mile stare.

Who would you crawl 100 miles over broken glass for just to eat the corn out of their shit?

320 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 13:37

No.

Who came up with the "mittens" meme?

321 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 13:58

( ) Not sure. I started the Post Happy Things thread. Someone else has the mittens fixation.

Should I just go back to bed?

322 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 14:29

No, you have work to do!

Where are my car keys?

323 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 14:36

They're in your jacket pocket, right where you left them.

Why isn't the L700 listening to TSM?

324 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 16:41

Answer hazy - ask again later.

What should I charge my neighbor for not fixing her computer?

325 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 19:03

Blowjob.

If the missiles were in the air and you had one hour to live with no consequences, what would you do?

326 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 19:38

Do a lot of coaine and LSD, rape as many people as posible, and jump off a very high building.

So is 4-ch getting free hosting now?

327 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 19:47

As soon as you jump off that building.

Who is this bloody man?

328 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4614 21:00

Not sure. The pile of shit next to him makes me want to say "Squwaks", though.

Does Gatorade go well in mixed drinks?

329 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4615 21:50

Normally, yes, but since you already pissed in the jug there's no reason to bother.

Will Mickey Mouse's copyright be extended 20 years again?

330 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 01:55

Of course, everyone knows Congresscritters can be bought!

If you stomp on a Japanese person's head, do they turn into yen?

331 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 05:18

Yes, but only coins, not banknotes.

How much longer before the aliens come for us?

332 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 06:38

ask suzumiya haruhi

333 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 07:15

I don't know, LOL

Is there anybody out there with the answer to how I can shot web? (spiderman doesn't know)

334 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 13:46

1) take gun
2) shoot web

3)????

335 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 13:53

>>334 You are the fourth child, who cannot even ask a question. and the one who does not know to ask is told, "It is because of what the Almighty did for me when I left Egypt."

Does anyone have a good recommendation for a laxative?

336 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 14:57

high-fructose corn syrup

Why are my clients such disorganized morons?

337 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 15:09

As a consultant, you bear the brunt of the responsibility. You should make them purchase some kind of CRM solution and then rack up many, many hours making it work for them. Failing that, make them buy Palms. Even if they don't use the daytimer functions, they'll at least be able to play games.

Why do we call them "Users"?

338 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 17:04

because 'clients' denotes equality and respect.

Why is becauseitswinter.com so awesomely popular?

339 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 18:38

( ) Because everyone loves mittens!

( -) Why does the government subsidize urban sprawl?

340 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 20:57

Because developers make substantial political contributions, and everyone would love to expand their tax base.

If we were going to form an all-male ballet troup with only internet celebrities, who would you like to be the primo ballerino and why?

341 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 21:48

I vote for doug, hes supposed to have the body of a little girl.

Whats your opinion on >>340's question?

342 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 22:07

I will judge no one on the basis of his sexual fetish, for mine is nearly as disgusting.

Is this really necessary?

343 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4616 23:28

This no, but that, oh yes!

How will be the weather this year?

344 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4617 00:30

it gone rain

How many times have I told you not to stick your tongue in outlets?

345 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4617 00:37

Not once. In fact, you have on several occasions encouraged me to do so, promising fabulous cash rewards.

Have you beaten >>208's sister yet?

346 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4617 01:39

No, she beats herself. AT PONG.

O RLY?

347 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4617 01:41

YA RLY

Where can get get some of your delicious bacon?

348 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4617 02:40

It's on sale at the meat shop down the road.

What's the best possible topping for pizza?

349 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4617 02:43

PUSH BUTAN. RESV BACON. ENJOY BACON

Why is there not enough sjis art in the new grandpa thread.

350 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4617 18:24

Because Furry Friday stole its thunder.

Why are In The Groove players so completely full of themselves?

351 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4617 21:28

I don't know what In The Groove is, but chances are they're fags.

Where did >>349's question mark go?

352 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4617 21:36

The World that Never Was.

How do I become 'hanyan'?

353 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 00:05

Just stare at Mizuki-sensei.

Was Chobits merely a piece of crap, or a stunningly subtle attack on moetaku culture?

354 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 00:09

Just a piece of crap.

How the fuck do people manage to watch anything on YouTube?

355 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 00:47

The thrill of thievery makes up for shitty quality, I suppose.

Why can't international companies offer their financial records in U.S. dollars along with their native currency?

356 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 03:50

Because the world doesn't revolve around the US, no matter what Dubya tells you.

What's the best papercraft you've ever seen?

357 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4618 09:07

Beavis and Butthead Do America toilet paper.

Is 4-ch REALLY like this?

358 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 16:30

Yes. This is its true nature.

Are you surprised?

359 Name: REI : 1993-09-4618 21:20

REI!

REI?

360 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 21:58

That whole Rei thing is so 20th century...

What's the newest annoying internet fad?

361 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 22:05

Gundam SEED Destiny

362 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4618 22:06

How did I forget to put my question in the same post?

363 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 00:32

Defective educational system.

From what arcs of fire do armored wheel hubs and wheel guards protect?

364 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 01:02

The stresses involved in travelling through time.

How many countries is Bush going to nuke during his term?

365 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 02:39

The USA is the only country who's gonna end getting nuked because of Bush.

Why is the guy outside making so much noise with his music?

366 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 02:51

Because he really, really likes polka.

Should bad people who only ever say bad things be denied free speech?

367 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 04:08

If that were enacted, /b/ would cease to be. So yes.

Did'ja get that thing I sent ya?

368 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 05:53

Indeed I did. I found it quite droll, and with many novel applications!

Is it better to reach a good compromise, or hold out for what you really want, even if it will cause other difficulties?

369 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4619 23:36

The latter. There is no such thing as a good compromise.

What would the world look like today if the Axis powers had won WWII? More importantly, what would anime be like?

370 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 00:51

Adventures of Magical Hitler-chan.

Why can't I get a decent sandwich after midnight?

371 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 01:19

Because you should make your own sandwiches.

Do you paint, or are you a snapper?

372 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4620 07:04

I'm a ctrl-v'er.

What movie am I watching right this second?

373 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 09:12

I don't know the title, but there's a hairy man sticking his wee-wee in another hairy man's butthole.

Do you want to save money on Viagra?

374 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 09:25

Sure. Normally I wouldn't be interested, but if I'm saving money...

Where do mittens come from?

375 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 11:52

Mats.

Why isn't the coffee ready yet dammit?

376 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 13:14

Because you're a bit of a snob, and prefer to roast your own beans, then grind them by hand.

Given the choice between all of the so-called "energy drinks", which would you prefer?

377 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4620 15:39

Loli-Ade.

Why can't I stop posting on the internet and get a life?

378 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 16:10

Life is overrated.

What is Life?

379 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 18:25

Life is the name of the game.

Why isn't Bruce Forsyth dead yet?

380 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 19:12

My agents are losing their touch.

Where's the fucking mail?

381 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4620 20:10

You get NONE. Only awesome people get mail.

Why is >>377 using my nickname? Is anonymous truly THAT unforgiving?

382 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4620 20:36

It's simply great. I love it.

Want some of my Chinese food?

383 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4620 23:45

No thanks, gives me gas.

Did you vote for Pedro?

384 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 01:37

I voted for Pedo(bear).

lol u tk him 2 da bar|?

385 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4621 09:47

I'm sorry, you'll have to repeat that. I don't speak ass.

Can Hulk Hogan be fossilized?

386 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 10:40

He'd turn into the Rock, so no.

Does masturbating to Morning Musume make me less of a man?

387 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 10:55

( -) ....

( ) I like knitten!

388 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 12:30

>>386 No, but it certainly diminishes the quality of man that you are.

Raziel is my favorite angel. Who is yours?

389 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 14:35

I've haven't seen the last 7 or 8 episodes, but so far Leliel is my favorite.

What? oh... I guess Asmodeus doesn't count... I'd have to agree with you on Raziel. Azael and Eblis have cool names though.

What question am I asking?

390 Name: My Sentences : 1993-09-4621 15:50

Yes.

Why doesn't Advent Children have a coherent plotline?

391 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 16:06

No.

Why is DQN so addictive?

392 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4621 17:49

Insufficient data for meaningful answer.

A/R/I/F?

393 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4622 00:17

I... don't know.

What do you think of the new fansub drama involving nanashi and leaked scripts?

394 Name: My sentences : 1993-09-4622 00:28

I think it vaguely resembles a cheese sandwich.

But what KIND of cheese?

395 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4622 00:48

blue cheese

How do you make blue cheese?

396 Name: My Sentences : 1993-09-4622 02:07

With blue crayons.

Do you?

397 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4622 14:00

Yes, but only in designated areas, and I don't go swimming for an hour.

How do I won internets?

398 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4622 16:23

By beating the boss guy at the end.

Why hasn't the mail come?

399 Name: Captain Obvious : 1993-09-4622 17:02

Maybe because somebody killed and ate the mailman again.

Is Funadou no Ookami (c) the coolest name ever or what?

400 Name: My Sentences : 1993-09-4622 19:13

Yes. (The answers can't ALL be sarcastic or negative.)

Who is Abraham Lincoln?

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