ITT we solve the question above us [Part 3] (999)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 01:28

<ヽ`∀´> Why does kimchi taste so good nida?

2 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 01:36

Japanese are flooding the market with their own imitation kimchi! We need to stop them!

How do I cure the hiccups? (Or hiccough, if you spell it that way) Seriously, guys. You made me laugh too hard with all shit here tonight.

3 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 03:28

Curing the hiccups can be easily done with digital rectal stimulation. Please be remembering this should be done by a qualified health care provider, not a prostitute.

If I leave here tomorrooow, Would you still remember meee?

4 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 10:59

Yes, ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ shall be remembered eternally, thus it never leaves.

Does that mean i will remember you as myself ?

5 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 12:57

Some people co-opt other's experiences into their personal narrative. Perhaps you are a budding author!

Have you written any poetry lately?

6 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 14:23

My life is an endless pit of darkness / gloom devours my restless yet phlegmatic soul / will anyone give me a hug?

No, seriously. I need a hug. Please?

7 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 16:17

Not until you've washed the emo off.

Is it O.K to report drug dealers to the authorities?

8 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 16:21

No, but it's ok to want extra sauce.

Is it right to fear drug dealers?

9 Name: Not In Employment, Education, Or Training : 1993-09-4972 19:32

Nope, you make good friends with them!

Do drugs make you cool?

10 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 21:45

Well yes, in a way, shortly before you finally go cold. Or room-temperature, as it may be.

Do cool people make drugs?

11 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 01:02

No. Most of them are chemistry geeks.

Have you stopped beating your wife?

12 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 02:22

No, I'm far too busy being on drugs to stop.

How do I obtain apoligy juice?

13 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 02:39

You must squeeze the apolojuice fruit, mix with water, and annihalte Hiroshima.

If I plant Cheerios in the soil, will it grow into a donut tree?

14 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 10:46

No, the most you can get are oats.

are there any foods that smell worse than kimchi?

15 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 12:28

There's natto, and probably several examples of fine British cuisine.

Is OMG Global Warming caused primarily by variations in solar activity?

16 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 13:49

It is caused primarily by Al Gore's farts.

Where did we all begin and where will we go?

17 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 14:41

we began in the future and will go to the past.

do you think emma watson has a kind heart like hermione?

18 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 18:46

The restraining order she had her lawyer filed against me speaks otherwise.

If a tree falls in the forest and claps one hand, what colour is the sound that is produced?

19 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 20:43

A furiously sleeping colorless green.

Should I bother going to work today?

20 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 21:26

No. Work will come to you. I have foreseen it.

Do you want to pick cherries in my garden?

21 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4973 21:33

I would rather pop cherries in a young women's garden.

How much more ridiculous can these questions possibly become?

22 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 03:17

Oh, they haven't even begun to scratch the bedrock yet.

If you were a tree, what kind of dog would piss on you?

23 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 04:05

A quadraplegic dog.

How do I respond to a structured reply thread?

24 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 04:09

like this.

what does insertion feel like?

25 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 06:46

text.

how do i got banned from 4ch?

26 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 13:44

by posting CP in the form of ascII art

how do i steal bikes?

27 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 13:56

Dynamite the lock.

When did America become a nation of frightened wimps?

28 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 16:12

When Jews did WTC

When will World2ch come back?

29 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 18:33

A few days after the end of time.

Has 4-ch really gotten worse in the few days squeeks has been gone?

30 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 18:36

Yes, but Squeeks is only a metaphorical construct and acts as a placebo to encourage VIP quality posting.

Why does everything taste like chicken?

31 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 20:53

Because God tastes like chicken, and made all other animals taste in his image. Pork is not of this universe.

Why can't I get coffee Pepsi around here?

32 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 21:14

Too much caffeine for one hand.

Why does my coffee taste metallic?

33 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 21:23

The T-1000 has disguised himself as your coffee. Drinking some molten steel will aid in digestion.

Why do women who dress with exposed cleavage get upset when men notice their exposed cleavage?

34 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 21:35

They are actually getting upset that you're ashamed of peeping. The real solution is to notice and then compliment.

Help me DQN, I've got a job interview tomorrow and need to make this black eye go away. How?

35 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 22:45

Just to get someone to punch you in the other eye to even it out, they won't even notice.

What is the best revenge?

36 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 23:28

Toothbrush up the arse.

37 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 23:29

Also, I didn't forget to post a question. My question is about the nature of a question, and imploded on itself.

38 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4974 23:35

So did my answer.

Why are Ipods so popular?

39 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 01:09

They're "cute" and user-friendly.

Where are the emergency mittens?

40 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 01:49

At the top of the page.

Why aren't "na no" and "kashira" as popular as "desu"?

41 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 05:04

Critical lack of Gay Magic

For the love of Christ, how do I ge

42 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 05:23

Wow. And you didn't even mention Candlejack.

Now isn't tha

43 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-4975 11:13

Yeah, that's pretty dumb, seeing that "how do I ge" is an older and far more superior meme than fucking Candlejack.

So who here is going to tk mi 2 da | ? Lol.

44 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 12:50

>>43 WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST

What's the deal with 4channers?

45 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 12:57

Extra chromosome.

Why is vodka the only alcoholic beverage that makes me puke?

46 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 15:28

All other kinds of booze don't have the skills to make a proper puke. In fact they're so embarrassed that they won't even try.

Did I just break the shitty-o-meter?

47 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 16:08

Please allow me to take a look...
Congratulations, you have broken the record by 1.5

Ok, say we have a box, and we force someone into this box and throw the box off the building.
did we throw the box, or the person?

48 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 16:30

You threw both. At least that's what I would say if I was on a jury.

How does it carry out?

49 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 16:50

It is not to be certain, but involving many w's.

How does it borrow?

50 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 19:01

Borrowing is forbidden under DQN law.

What is love?

51 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 20:00

A manifestation of our innate desire to reproduce.

Why is weed still illegal?

52 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 20:24

Move to Amsterdam, ha ha.

If you go on a date with someone from Holland, do you have to "go Dutch"?

53 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 21:35

Yeah. Going "German", however, is generally only acceptable if you ask your date first.

So is that why Germany doesn't import a lot of beluga?

54 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 22:22

Yes.

The Netherlands is a fucking terrible country and they tolerate every goddamned freak here. Why is that?

55 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4975 23:59

Because the country isn't run by fundamentalist christians and 14-year-old boys who can't accept people that are different from them.

Why am I still awake?

56 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 00:08

Because you don't want tomorrow to come.

What's so bad about tomorrow?

57 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 02:20

Tomorrow is Monday. I have to go back to work.

How can the real otaku get to Akiba?

58 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 03:06

I hear listening to The Vapors helps.

We might even go so far as to take another instance, that of Mr. Tilden's bequest of five millions of dollars for a free library in the city of New York, but in referring to this one cannot help saying involuntarily, How much better if Mr. Tilden had devoted the last years of his own life to the proper administration of this immense sum; in which case neither legal contest nor any other cause of delay could have interfered with his aims. But let us assume that Mr. Tilden's millions finally become the means of giving to this city a noble public library, where the treasures of the world contained in books will be open to all forever, without money and without price. Considering the good of that part of the race which congregates in and around Manhattan Island, would its permanent benefit have been better promoted had these millions been allowed to circulate in small sums through the hands of the masses?

59 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 04:07

I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listen-- I mean, uh... No, that would be bad, for reason that are... such and such.

If Deities were ice cream, which one would be Vanilla?

60 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 06:00

Buddha, but he has plenty of toppings available to add flavor.

Is there some special property to these question threads that makes them so popular?

61 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 09:34

You don't have to come up with anything post until you're at the bottom of the thread anyway. It's a procrastinators dream.

WHY GOD WHY?!

62 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 09:40

BECAUSE, MAN, BECAUSE!

Candy, for breakfast?

63 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 14:00

Never. Everyone knows it's Hamburgers for Breakfast.

Why isn't White Castle more successful?

64 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 19:48

Because as it turns out, white isn't the new black after all.

How come there's apparently no such thing as a reasonable economist?

65 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 21:02

Because there are RULES. There are LAWS. Things work just So.

How did Harvey Dent become Two-Face?

66 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 21:16

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67 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 21:17

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68 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 21:17

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69 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4976 23:53

I totally don't know what you're talking about.

Where's MODD when you need one?

70 Name: MODD!5JrU4QOlH6 : 1993-09-4976 23:56

>>69

B& for no 69GET

71 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-4977 02:53

Modd is a faggot and I dont have anything to answer, shit sux.

Why are text boards always made of so much more win than imageboards?

72 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 00:24

Because true QUALITY is only available to the blind.

What happens if you drop salt on the back of a sitting sparrow?

73 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 00:50

It turns into a dove.

Why is this site full of wankers like >>66-68 these days?

74 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 01:10

They're only wankers because you don't seduce them with your ass.

How do we evoke our superpowers?

75 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 01:22

Chant U-S-A, Chi-na, In-di-a like a cheering squad.

How would I go around summoning a succubus? I'm kind of... ronery, you see.

76 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 02:27

I don't know, so I'm just going to sing the theme song from Hokuto no Ken 2:

Welcome to this crazy time
Kono ikareta jidai e youkoso
Kimi wa tough boy
Matomo na yatsu hodo feel so bad
Shouki de irareru nante un ga ii ze
You, tough boy

Toki wa masani seikimatsu
Yodonda machikado de bokura wa deatta

Keep you burning
Kakenukete
Kono fuhai to jiyuu to bouryoku no mattadanaka
No boy no cry
Kanashimi wa
Zetsubou ja nakute ashita no manifesuto

We are living, living in the eighties
We still fight, fighting in the eighties

Does that make you want to kill me?

77 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 07:17

It makes me want to kick you, repeating endlessly until you explode.

How long is a piece of string?

78 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 07:49

What did your face look like before your mother was born?

Is answering a question with a question fair game?

79 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 15:00

No, that's grounds for disqualification. Sorry, >>78.

So who's in the lead now?

80 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4978 18:13

Lasty.

Why don't they sell Mini Eggs all year round?

81 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 00:34

>>80
It is a conspiracy to fix prices and therefore profiteer immorally.

What is the BTU/gallon rating for uranium?

82 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 16:37

Enough to power a radscorpion, or a medium-large roachor.

Who stole my afterburner? Was it you? Huh? You want I should fuck you up, eh?

83 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4979 21:16

Yeah I stole it. What you gonna do?

84 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-4979 21:40

Okay, I lied, its drum and bass, what you gonna do?

85 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 00:36

I'm going to play Top Gun on the NES.

What other 8-bit flight sims were cool?

86 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-4980 01:42

Raiden, and the one with the dolphin and the naked people.

What is the cure for the common cold?

87 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 01:44

Gay magic

How much gay magic is enough to cure the common cold?

88 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 01:44

Lain is the cure for everything.
Is that too stereotypical cyberpunk?

89 Name: ))<>(( : 1993-09-4980 01:48

Yes.

Why listen to Lain when you can listen to The Cure.

90 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 15:16

Anime is always superior.

Why listen to The Cure when you could be cutting yourself instead?

91 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 17:49

You might get permanent scarring on your eardrums.

What do you say to someone who puts mayo on her fried eggs?

92 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 22:07

>>91

"Try it with pizza."

Where can I find all the information on DQN ever?

93 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 22:36

Classified information.

Is there anything Rei isn't out of ?

94 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4980 23:05

She isn't out of excuses.

Why am I -still- on DQN?

95 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 02:37

Sina broke your legs for non-payment of debt interest, and you cannot afford a wheelchair.

How's it hanging?

96 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 12:18

Low.

Is there anyway to increase my hang height?

97 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 12:38

Staples.

Do you have any grapes?

98 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4981 16:00

Let me check.... no.

Why don't you try the corner grocery?

99 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4982 01:37

I'm a persona non grata there ever since the incident with the canned pineapple rings seven years ago.

How does a shithole like that even stay around? I mean, they've got absolutely no customer service nor even a basic sense of decorum!

100 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4982 02:01

Their in your face "Fuck Wal-mart!" attitude endears them to the local leftists, who go there to buy overpriced organic food.
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