ITT we solve the question above us [Part 3] (999)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4972 01:28

<RMΝL>@Why does kimchi taste so good nida?

501 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 00:05

Sorry we just ran out of too much gay magic for one hand, because it's winter and it carries out and is w

Anyone want to do it better?

502 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 00:48

Leave out the gay magic part and it'd be perfect.

Where can I find true happiness?

503 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 11:21

Its right here in my pants.

Where can I find true happiness?

504 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 11:46

Its right there in your pants.

Where can I find true cat penis?

505 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 13:30

On a true cat.

Where can I find true love?

506 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 13:37

On a true sheep

What should I have for breakfast today?

507 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 13:40

A big, thick, firm... banana. Plenty of potassium.

What should I do today instead of studying for exams?

508 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 13:53

Post in the insult thread.

Where is my stapler?

509 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 17:02

Between the baby and the chicken.

Waddya call a guy with a shovel through his head?

510 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 17:13

Cheval Pelle.

Lost you, didn't I?

511 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 19:11

Sure did! I expected you to say "Doug."

Should I chop the hot peppers into the tomato sauce, or should I fry them up with the onions and put them through the food mill first?

512 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 19:40

Chop them into the sauce.

Should I study for my (ooh!) Black Politics exam or write my Eastern European Dictatorial Regimes final paper?

513 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5026 19:45

That depends on which one is a higher percentage of your final grade. On the whole, you should probably knock out the paper, and study when you get bored.

Have you considered changing PolSci to a minor and getting a hard science degree instead, so you don't wind up like me?

514 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 00:29

No, I majored in Broadway history to be the gayest, most magical DQN.

If art snobs had to survive in the woods for months until they were found by rescurers, how would they do it without practical knowledge?

515 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 01:17

Ever seen a movie called Alive? It would be like that, but instead of a rugby team eating their dead to stay alive, they wouldn't. Actually, It would be more like The Blair Witch Project.

Would you like some Turkey Jerky?

516 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 03:07

I would -adore- some Turkey Jerky, although sweet 'n' spicy beef jerky is preferable.

Do otaku actually enjoy looking at a girl in pants that could house a hobo encampment, a poorly styled wig, and cat ears?

517 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 03:32

looking at a girl in pants? hell no.

why can't i stay away from dqn? i've tried to quit coming here several times but i always end up coming back...

518 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 14:06

You thought it was over, but the jones kicked in.

Why hasn't Howard Chaykin's "Black Kiss" been turned into a movie yet?

519 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 18:12

Too much sex; not enough car chases and pistol duels.

Why hasn't DQN been turned into a movie yet?

520 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 19:13

I think it has.

How do you explain Gay Niggers From Outer Space otherwise?

521 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5027 23:16

Somebody felt like combining as many random ideas tnto one film.

Would a sensitive mathmatician get a heart attack after hearing about the number of clones of Lentilla?

522 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 01:16

Any mathematician would tell you clones do not exist. At any rate, as long as the hypothetical number remains defined in the real domain, they wouldn't blink an eye if it was anything between negative infinity and positive infinity.

Why do I always get the urge to divide by zero?

523 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 01:23

because things tend to break when that happens. and thats pretty kickass.

Why?

524 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 04:43

zero is signless i.e. it is neither positive or negative. Actually it is both. So when dividing by something infinitely small, the answer is both positive and negative infinity at the same time. That is not defined yet, so it doesn't work. kickass.

could you please call my cell? I want to hear my new ringtone.

525 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 05:55

okay.

what should i set my phone's default tone to: haruhi or lucky star?

526 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 06:44

All Alone for Christmas (as usual)

Which recording?

527 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 10:49

Parked mix.

Mi-mi-miracle Mikurun-run?

528 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 14:09

No.

YOU WA SHOCK?

529 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 14:20

What the fuck kind of question is that?

Seriously, what the fuck kind of question is that?

530 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 15:06

The good kind.

Who rocks harder, Dragonforce or Tiny Tim?

531 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 15:30

Avril Lavigne.

What is obvious troll?

532 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 15:31

Obvious, I believe.

Where can I get free Weight Watchers Points calculator software? I know it must be out there somewhere ...

533 Name: : 1993-09-5028 15:58

In my pants. Meet me at MSN, bring champaign and a pair of handcuffs.

What's the best magical trick evar?

534 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 16:36

Making my wiener disappear, requiring nothing but a fair maiden with spread legs.

Why is Para Para the ultimate form of music that rules above all?

535 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 16:50

because Weeaboos think it is cool that you can flap your hands around like an idiot while listening to the equivelent of american happy hardcore.

Why is Japan superior?

536 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 17:00

It's not, really. It's just very clean and the people are polite, but very insular.

Is a Japanese wife a good idea?

537 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 18:06

Marriage is never a good idea, as the woman tends to give up doing things that impress her man.

When will people stop renaming "family values" into bigoted bullshit?

538 Name: : 1993-09-5028 19:57

Some day, maybe.

What are '"family values"', except for that Addams movie? o_O;;

539 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 21:46

A bunch of nu-metal bands on tour.

Why don't real men eat quiche?

540 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 22:25

Because it's too eggy. Real men subsist on an exclusive diet of T-bone steaks and the lamentations of their dead enemies' women.

What was the best thing before sliced bread was invented?

541 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5028 23:50

( ί ƒŽί) Mittens!

Who invented sliced bread, anyway?

542 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 00:25

The ancient Greeks, who also invented toast.

But who invented mittens?

543 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 05:51

The Bavarian Illumittani.

Where is Bavaria, anyway? My sources tell me it's somewhere near Germany...

544 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 09:12

Bavaria is part of Germany.

Why is the sky? No typo. Why is it?

545 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 13:16

Because the little yellow smurfs.

Why did a perfectly ordinary reboot shoot my partition table to hell this morning?

546 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 15:26

Because you failed to avoid the incoming game, Bob.

Is there any chance that Mainframe will get off their collective asses and come up with a new season for Reboot?

547 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 15:31

About as much as your mom winning the 347th Official Hell Ice Skating Championship.

Why do those chaps in the insult thread not appreciate long drawn-out sentences?

548 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 15:47

None of them even know how to insult properly. Why would they have any appreciation for the finer things in life?

As long as we're on the subject, why doesn't anyone in the insult threads actually insult the previous poster?

549 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 16:29

It wouldn't be VIP quality if we did that.

Or would it?

550 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 20:42

Well, that's the crux of the biscuit, as my mammy always said. Is DQN really about the attitude of the response, or the actual crappiness of the response? Some people would like to have it BOTH ways, and they generally get flooded out. It's a damned shame, honestly.

Well, that being said, what is DQN really all about?

551 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 20:46

Its all about me, but no one realizes it, nor will they ever believe it.

Come to think of it, why can't I shoot Chi from my fingertips like a laser?

552 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 20:48

( ί ƒŽί) Mittens!
((/ ƒf.ㄟ) The eternal blackness of my soul.
(EΝE) Solving the question above us!
( LƒΦ`) Dur dang kids getting off my lawn!
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i @˜§-]@|! i @Sorry, we're all out of things we're really all about.
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Why don't people use the established DQN characters in their responses a bit more? Not excessively, mind you.

553 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 20:51

>>551
Because neither are your fingertips black, nor do they have googly eyes and an oversized gaping red mouth.
>>552
Because all that kopipe makes you a slowpoke.

Does the Simulation Argument (http://www.simulation-argument.com/) convince you, DQN? Are we living in a simulation?

554 Name: : 1993-09-5029 21:01

What? Do you mean you didn't know?

No, really. How didn't you know?

555 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5029 21:07

I was not cleared for that information.

Now that I have obtained it, where should I go to be terminated with extreme prejudice by Our Friend Computer?

556 Name: : 1993-09-5030 06:24

Nowhere. This time, you only get a warning. The third time, however...

How can I get a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spurtle without going all the way to Scotland to buy one?

557 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 06:33

Why, at Spurtle City! A giant warehouse of spurtles for every occasion!

If a spatula and a spurtle had to fight to the death, which would emerge victorious?

558 Name: : 1993-09-5030 07:27

Careful testing by putting a spurtle and a spatula to fight to the death against each other revealed that the winner is the spurtle. As the less fragile implement, it won by keeping its structural integrity fairly intact, while as the spatula's flat surface got shattered in a single, strong swing against the spurtle. I'd upload some photos of the fight, if I would've had a camera to document it with.

Coffee, yay or nay, and why?

559 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 07:43

Yay, because it makes me feel less tired.

When will I be able to grow a beard long enough to braid into my chest hair?

560 Name: : 1993-09-5030 08:11

NEVAR!
Your chemotherapy will permanently damage your hair follicles, everywhere on your body. You will be known as Iktar, the hairless man-ape, and we shall put you in a cage, poke you with a stick, and laugh at you and all the other silly hu-mans.

In what direction is Orion? We have some unfinished business there.

561 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 08:13

Second star to the left, and on 'til morning.

Who can wear a tutu in a manly way?

562 Name: : 1993-09-5030 12:35

>>561
Ace Ventura.

What other celebrity can do the same?

563 Name: : 1993-09-5030 12:41

564 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 12:50

Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel. Everything they wear is instantly infused with a brilliant aura of manliness.

How do porcupines mate?

565 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 14:59

Very carefully.

On a related note, can a hedgehog be buggered if you shave it first?

566 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 17:04

No, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all

And what was it that's normally on the end of a wizard's staff?

567 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 17:18

A charred victim.

Why do I get so many BSODs lately? I thought Windows XP was supposed to be moderately stable.

568 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 17:55

Your hardware is crap.

Why are you running Windows XP in the first place?

569 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 18:01

Because Vista is crap, and so are all the other Windows, but I want to play games and can't get Wine to run on my Ubuntu installation.

Why is Harry Potter so ridiculously overhyped?

570 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 23:26

Because something needs to be overheyped. I prefer overhype over a fairly entertaining novel than other bullshit. At least potheads are easier to deal with and tolerate that wapanese yaoi fan girls.

How can I write the above without sounding like a dork?

571 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5030 23:48

By phrasing it in the form of a Harry Potter yaoi fanfic. =^_________^= WAI!

KAWAII DESU NE?

572 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 01:30

nyo~

Whafjivoho hfojvip thpios?

573 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 10:52

Your keyboard would be less fucked up.

Is there any way I can rid myself of this pesky need for sleep?

574 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 12:07

Drink a bottle of bleach and you will never have to worry about sleep again.

Why do humans have 5 fingers on each hand? We hardly ever use the pinky, and naturally counting in octal would be more convenient for computer scientists.

575 Name: : 1993-09-5031 12:55

>>574 honestly believes people don't use that finger all the time.
...err. I mean, because we developed from animals that was built that way, and most people actually do use that finger all the time. You just never think about it properly, because you use the tip itself of that finger less frequently than the whole finger itself.

Why is using lame, pathetic and silly insults in the insult thread addictive?

576 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 14:04

Because it's a hell of a lot easier than coming up with creative, powerful and rage-inducing insults.

Where are the wild things?

577 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 14:59

I don't know, but they sure make my heart sing.

Why are computer games addictive?

578 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 15:01

It's a combination of the glowing screen and the opportunity to press buttons.

Why don't computer games interest me anymore?

579 Name: : 1993-09-5031 15:38

Because you stopped wanting to push buttons for the sake of pushing buttons. Get back to work, Jetson! Lazy scum.

What's the ultimate ascii/similar art?

580 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 15:49

.

(its minimalist)

How do I get in contact with myself?

581 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 16:56

Deposit 50 bux underneath the northernmost bench in your local park. You will then contact yourself for further instructions.

582 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 16:57

And here's the question: Why is AIDS such a hilarious thing?

583 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 17:07

Actually, it's not hilarious at all. You're just horribly immature and will laugh at anything.

Shouldn't you be in school?

584 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 17:26

No, I'm homeschooled by my mom. She tells me to laugh at the AIDSfags who will surely burn in Hell.

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?

585 Name: : 1993-09-5031 17:28

Cod will lead me to salivation.

What's the deal with Seinfeld?

586 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5031 21:50

There was no soup for him.

When will people stop believing in the big beards in the sky?

587 Name: Resonance : 1993-09-5032 03:26

When they notice the shit on the ground.

Why is comedy based solely around enjoying other people's pain?

588 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 07:22

Because humans are evil.

How do we purge this evil from ourselves?

589 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 08:05

Whips, chains, electric shocks and waterboarding.

How come people keep pointing fingers and staring at my codpiece? Doesn't anyone have a sense of fashion anymore?

590 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 09:24

Nobody born past 1980 has a sense of fashion. They were declared illegal in November 1979.

Who is the best Science Fiction author in the world ever?

591 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 12:28

Isaac Asimov of course.

What are the three laws of robotics?

592 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 13:11

1) fellatio is better than regular, unless you are robotized real-doll.
2) spare parts can be ethically used only if they're not installed onto another robot already.
3) when taking robot exam, all mobile transmitters must be shut off and graphic calculator may not have executable programs on it. Write with black or blue ballpoint only.

That's actually just a guess, reasoned from a particular frame of reference. Do you know the real three laws?

593 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 15:34

Yes I do.

Who are the brain police?

594 Name: : 1993-09-5032 19:37

The swibbles. Beware of them.

What can I ask for at Rei's that I'll actually get?

595 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 19:40

Try asking for a snarky answer.

What's the difference between Shorinji Kempo and Shaolin Kung Fu?

596 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 20:59

The tasty side dishes that are served at mealtimes.

Who are 'they'?

597 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 21:17

>>595

Shorinji Kempo is Japanese, and therefore more awesome than the wimpy Chinese Shaolin Kung-fu.

>>596

Macaroni and Cheese
Twice Baked Potatoes

What makes people believe in psychics?

598 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5032 22:47

The way they're statistically right 50% of the time.

Why did they make a Scarface videogame now as opposed to when the movie was new?

599 Name: Resonance : 1993-09-5033 03:57

Because you wouldn't have been able to tell who was who on Arati's 8 bit glory.

Are we there yet?

600 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5033 03:59

Because when the movie was new, videogames were seen as a child's toy, and no one would make a child's toy based on Scarface.

Why can't I sleep before 4am anymore?

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