<ヽ｀∀´> Why does kimchi taste so good nida?
Because you're a straight female.
Why does everyone hate on poor Tom Bombadil?
His boots are too yellow?
Mamamamamama...?
>>402
Just killed a mananan.
Put a gun against his headeadead.
Pulled my trigger,now hes deadeadead.
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
It's both.
WHERE IS YOUR MATRIX NOW, MR ANDERSON?
Located at 3138 Fillmore Street, but closed in 1972.
One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small.
What do the ones that mother gives you do?
They make my voice sound squeaky and these things grow on my chest. Looks like mommy wanted a girl after all.
Why did daddy have to kill himself?
It was probably something you did.
Could God make a burrito so hot he could not eat it?
Yes. Don't ask how, it's just the nature of omnipotence.
Is belief in God an outdated coping mechanism of human evolution?
It's a control mechanism. You can't control someone who believes in himself or in Nature, but you can control a group who believes in an invisible, external, centralized power force. Now say you speak for the power force and you have an army of fanatics under your control.
Do you love Nature?
>>409
Frequently...
What's the ideal religion to create for the purpose of acquiring mindless minion-drones?
Fascism demands you go out and conquer, losing many valuable minions in the process.
Why didn't anyone build a bigger battleship than the Yamato in WW2?
A CONSPIRACY. o.o
Why do torrents suck so much?
You're not uploading enough. There's a tit-for-tat algorithm.
What does the "tit" mean? What about "tat"?
Everyone knows what tit means, and tat's that.
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Sheep, pigs in threes, bored shepards, and little girls dressed in red.
Odin isn't so fond of him either.
Will the Beowulf film be suitably epic?
Only if there are clusters.
What do said clusters do in soviet russia?
Assemble YOU!!
Where has the real Soviet Russia#deadjew of 4chan fame gone?
In a secret Thai detox monastery.
Does Squeeks get to carry his hat on board the airplane?
It's about as liquid as blackberry jam, which was taken off me at the airport last time, so I would say no.
Do people still play Everquest I?
Only the real, true HARDCORE ELITE. All the new stuff is for n00bz, and my asshole mom wont buy me a new computer anyway, the bitch.
I know that Firiona Vie is my soulmate, but no one understands our love. Do you think she will be my girlfriend?
DEFINATELY NOT =D
Why are there holes in my walls?
Because you have an anger management issue.
Why are posts more fun to read if you don't know the person who wrote them?
Because you can attribute all sorts of personal problems to them, without fear of retribution. Incidentally, you like to peek on nude beaches.
Will there ever be a new Indiana Jones movie?
Yes, starring Harrison Ford in a wheelchair as a grayhaired, MGS-inspired Indy.
Werewolf toolbox hack?
No.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DON'T I MISS YOU A LOT FOREVERRRRRRRR?
Because you're not a cat.
Help?
Help is a word used to indicate distress or the need for assistance. For example, one may shout "Help!" to a passerby if being robbed by a thief. Person-to-person help can come in a variety of forms; monetary assistance in the form of grants or loans, or scholarships is considered a way to help a person get on their feet in the world, people can lend emotional help in times of depression, educational help, and physical help to those in need of such assistance. For example, the elderly and young are frequent recipients of help. Often in sports people may call out for "Help" signaling that they need assistance from one of their team mates. Help is often associated with SOS, the international Morse code distress signal. It consists of three dots, three dashes, and three dots:
· · · ― ― ― · · ·This is the same as for the letters S, O and S, except that it is sent as one single letter - that is, with the inter-letter spaces converted to inter-element spaces.
When wil Grandpa die?
"NEVARRr" and "Already gone". Guess why he sometimes gets a craving for brains.
Where did my pants go? Why?
To Mexico, bitches. They wanted to do the Moot.
Do Japanese people sometimes wonder why Donald Duck doesn't wear a pleated skirt with his sailor suit?
111
why won't you touch my pee pee?
Because you touch yourself at night, you dirty man-slut.
Where do we go for lunch?
Milliways.
What would Douglas Adams be writing if he were alive today?
Yet another article about how much Macs rule.
What would be the ultimate Towel Day towel?
A replica of Ford's nutrient-soaked towel with wires etc inside.
Whoops, forgot my question.
Where is Sarah Connor?
It would be extremely fluffy and absorbing, yet stylish enough to wear as a scarf at the funeral of a beloved revolutionary leader of banana republica (not a dictator, no.)
how can I emancipate my orgasm?
They're not silly, they're cute!
why did >>440 not answer the question above him? and what is the answer to that?
He was a slowpoke, only unlike his role model he will never evolve. Sarah Connor is in my pants, if you know what I mean. And I think you do!
How come there's no outernet?
There is, it's just past the extranet.
Why do I want bulletproof armor?
>>444
Because you don't buttsechs yourself often enough, lately. And eat too much cheese.
Is there a place ones and zeros go after they die?
They go to binary hell, which is located in your abortion of a post.
If Jack Thompson succeeds in banning violent video games and rap music, would it really be a loss if we couldn't play 50 Cent: Bulletproof?
No.
Why can't we toss 50 Cent and Jack Thompson into a Thunderdome cage? Two men enter, one man leaves.
Because it would be far better to toss both into a place where two man enter, nothing leaves.
Why doesn't watching anime ever get old for me?
You have short-term memory loss and keep watching the pilot episode of Speed Racer episode over and over again.
Also, you're homosexual.
Why doesn't Jack Thompson fight to ban that crap for plaguing our youth with Epilepsy, ADHD and Stupid?
Because he's an asshat who was touched on his pee-pee place by a video game at a young age.
Why is gluing captions to cats such a fun hobby?
Because we no longer have access to purchasing D engines from Estes.
What is the future of model rocketry?
It's in my pants, bay-bee.
Will I ever get cured of my lolicon?
Once you grow up and learn to no longer find the traits you associate with lolis attractive - yes.
Where can you get the best banana daiquiri?
In a New York cocktail bar whose name escapes me at the moment.
Is there any anime fan who doesn't enjoy Lucky Star? If so, how shall we go about curing them of their delusion?
They should be smacked in the back of the head with a wooden cane.
When will China stop being a shitty place?
When this country opens up its asshole.
How many votes is Kouichi Toyama going to get in the upcoming Tokyo Governor election?
A record landslide of 100% of all ballots counted.
However only two voters will show up to fill out a ballot, and one of them will be disqualified for being a giant chicken.
When Kouichi Toyama wins the election, will his office first mandate shaved and polished heads for all citizens, or some other less important law?
He will probably just crack down on adult comic book artists.
How will the adult comic book artists fight back?
By switching to original non-adult manga, which will be made into wildly popular anime in which the original mangaka are brutally mocked. Like Koshi Rikdo, with Excel Saga.
What ever happened to Koshi Rikdo, anyway?
He caught terminal bonitis, and, well, terminated.
How come bonobos get to have hot lesbian monkey sexxors, but I can't ever land a woman?
Because you're not a bonobo.
It seems so awful that chimpanzees eat monkeys. Why?
Look deep inside your soul. The answer is there somewhere.
Do YOU believe?
No.
Do YOU?
>>464
All sorts of things. Mainly that we're just fictional elements of your imagination.
What is "gar"?
We believe.
Are there any MMOGs that do not crack down on free fan-run servers?
10bux, payable to Lowtax.
When will the sequel to Avenue Q hit Broadway?
October 1.
Incidentally, what day is it?
September 5020. A day which will live in infamy.
Now that I've finally gotten out of prison, how can I possibly reclaim my masculinity?
Rape a pro wrestler.
Will I ever stop having to construct additional pylons?
Not until you slay every last Sleestak.
Were you as hot for Holly as I was?
Holly as in the Red Dwarf computer? Oh yeah. Totally.
Why do so many guys get off to porn that ends with the guy fapping onto the girl's face?
Because herpes of the eye is hawt.
I don't have a question, what should I ask?
How about ...
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the Usenet Oracle didn't ZOT me before finishing this question?
Dunno....
Orry, what's that smoking pile of zotted gristle doing over here?
O RLY? I see no gristle.
Why do you see gristle? There's no gristle, so why do you see it?
IT'S IN MY EYES ARGH ARGH ARGH
How do I remove it?
With angry, angry bees.
What's the best non-DQN meme?
The only meme that wasn't created by DQN and later taken by other websites is TYPING IN ALL CAPS, WHICH WAS INVENTED BY AN ANGRY TEEN WHO LOVED HIS CAPS LOCK. SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL IS THE BEST NON-DQN MEME, MOSTLY BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY ONE.
Do you say oppai like "oh-pie" or "up-pie"?
I say it like "おっぱい", but I'm a weeaboo.
Will there ever be a Hollywood adaptation of Densha Otoko? Who would be cast for the main roles?
Dwayne The Rock Johnson as Densha (all that fanatical D&D playing as a teen payed off), and Paris Hilton as Hermes.
Do you now see why we must prevent Hollywood from ever making an adaptation of the story?
Yes, it has been made as apparent to me as the sun.
Are there any good strategy games with a large political element to them?
It seems to me that you're looking for Diplomacy. It's over on the second bookshelf in the back.
While you're here, do you need any ten-siders?
No, but I do require a 13-sided non-Euclidean die if you can provide me with one. Got a Cthulhu game this Saturday, you know.
Do you want to be eaten first?
Because they're all amateurs. I sneer at them. SNEER, I say!!
Where outside Japan can I get me some Sata Andagi? The batch I had in Kyushu were delicious, I must have more!
There is this place called "Domo Japanese Steakhouse" maybe you should try it.
what was the greatest computer hack in history?
The one where I took an axe to my college VAX.
Is the Cat Macros song at http://www.thefump.com/lyrics.php?id=85 win or what?
It's what.
What's that on your head?
Why, I'm glad you asked. It's my new and improved thinking cap!
What should I invent next?
Sex robots. Get to it.
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
They smell the toilet paper.
What is the best book to have in eBook format?
House of Leaves.
Why doesn't it exist?
Everybody decided to leave the house, so without an observer it lies in a quantum state.
Tree, Woods, Hear?
I hear the maples cried "oppresion", no word back from the oaks at this point, however.
Um, whatever happened to Elijah Woods, anyway?
Eaten by James Woods.
What exactly is the trouble in the forest, the unrest in the trees?
Woodpeckerses. Us treeses, we hates them fuckerses.
How do I cut down the mightiest tree in these woods with a herring?
You must construct additional shrubberies.
Where can I find a shrubber?
If you shout NI to an old woman enough times, she will tell you where the shrubber is.
How many DQN memes can be compressed into one phrase?