<RMΝL>@Why does kimchi taste so good nida?
September 5020. A day which will live in infamy.
Now that I've finally gotten out of prison, how can I possibly reclaim my masculinity?
Rape a pro wrestler.
Will I ever stop having to construct additional pylons?
Not until you slay every last Sleestak.
Were you as hot for Holly as I was?
Holly as in the Red Dwarf computer? Oh yeah. Totally.
Why do so many guys get off to porn that ends with the guy fapping onto the girl's face?
Because herpes of the eye is hawt.
I don't have a question, what should I ask?
How about ...
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the Usenet Oracle didn't ZOT me before finishing this question?
Dunno....
Orry, what's that smoking pile of zotted gristle doing over here?
O RLY? I see no gristle.
Why do you see gristle? There's no gristle, so why do you see it?
IT'S IN MY EYES ARGH ARGH ARGH
How do I remove it?
With angry, angry bees.
What's the best non-DQN meme?
The only meme that wasn't created by DQN and later taken by other websites is TYPING IN ALL CAPS, WHICH WAS INVENTED BY AN ANGRY TEEN WHO LOVED HIS CAPS LOCK. SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL IS THE BEST NON-DQN MEME, MOSTLY BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY ONE.
Do you say oppai like "oh-pie" or "up-pie"?
I say it like "¨ΑΟ’", but I'm a weeaboo.
Will there ever be a Hollywood adaptation of Densha Otoko? Who would be cast for the main roles?
Dwayne The Rock Johnson as Densha (all that fanatical D&D playing as a teen payed off), and Paris Hilton as Hermes.
Do you now see why we must prevent Hollywood from ever making an adaptation of the story?
Yes, it has been made as apparent to me as the sun.
Are there any good strategy games with a large political element to them?
It seems to me that you're looking for Diplomacy. It's over on the second bookshelf in the back.
While you're here, do you need any ten-siders?
No, but I do require a 13-sided non-Euclidean die if you can provide me with one. Got a Cthulhu game this Saturday, you know.
Do you want to be eaten first?
Because they're all amateurs. I sneer at them. SNEER, I say!!
Where outside Japan can I get me some Sata Andagi? The batch I had in Kyushu were delicious, I must have more!
There is this place called "Domo Japanese Steakhouse" maybe you should try it.
what was the greatest computer hack in history?
The one where I took an axe to my college VAX.
Is the Cat Macros song at http://www.thefump.com/lyrics.php?id=85 win or what?
It's what.
What's that on your head?
Why, I'm glad you asked. It's my new and improved thinking cap!
What should I invent next?
Sex robots. Get to it.
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
They smell the toilet paper.
What is the best book to have in eBook format?
House of Leaves.
Why doesn't it exist?
Everybody decided to leave the house, so without an observer it lies in a quantum state.
Tree, Woods, Hear?
I hear the maples cried "oppresion", no word back from the oaks at this point, however.
Um, whatever happened to Elijah Woods, anyway?
Eaten by James Woods.
What exactly is the trouble in the forest, the unrest in the trees?
Woodpeckerses. Us treeses, we hates them fuckerses.
How do I cut down the mightiest tree in these woods with a herring?
You must construct additional shrubberies.
Where can I find a shrubber?
If you shout NI to an old woman enough times, she will tell you where the shrubber is.
How many DQN memes can be compressed into one phrase?
Sorry we just ran out of too much gay magic for one hand, because it's winter and it carries out and is w
Anyone want to do it better?
Its right here in my pants.
Where can I find true happiness?
Its right there in your pants.
Where can I find true cat penis?
On a true cat.
Where can I find true love?
A big, thick, firm... banana. Plenty of potassium.
What should I do today instead of studying for exams?
Post in the insult thread.
Where is my stapler?
Between the baby and the chicken.
Waddya call a guy with a shovel through his head?
Cheval Pelle.
Lost you, didn't I?
Sure did! I expected you to say "Doug."
Should I chop the hot peppers into the tomato sauce, or should I fry them up with the onions and put them through the food mill first?
Chop them into the sauce.
Should I study for my (ooh!) Black Politics exam or write my Eastern European Dictatorial Regimes final paper?
That depends on which one is a higher percentage of your final grade. On the whole, you should probably knock out the paper, and study when you get bored.
Have you considered changing PolSci to a minor and getting a hard science degree instead, so you don't wind up like me?
No, I majored in Broadway history to be the gayest, most magical DQN.
If art snobs had to survive in the woods for months until they were found by rescurers, how would they do it without practical knowledge?
Ever seen a movie called Alive? It would be like that, but instead of a rugby team eating their dead to stay alive, they wouldn't. Actually, It would be more like The Blair Witch Project.
Would you like some Turkey Jerky?
I would -adore- some Turkey Jerky, although sweet 'n' spicy beef jerky is preferable.
Do otaku actually enjoy looking at a girl in pants that could house a hobo encampment, a poorly styled wig, and cat ears?
looking at a girl in pants? hell no.
why can't i stay away from dqn? i've tried to quit coming here several times but i always end up coming back...
You thought it was over, but the jones kicked in.
Why hasn't Howard Chaykin's "Black Kiss" been turned into a movie yet?
Too much sex; not enough car chases and pistol duels.
Why hasn't DQN been turned into a movie yet?
I think it has.
How do you explain Gay Niggers From Outer Space otherwise?
Somebody felt like combining as many random ideas tnto one film.
Would a sensitive mathmatician get a heart attack after hearing about the number of clones of Lentilla?
Any mathematician would tell you clones do not exist. At any rate, as long as the hypothetical number remains defined in the real domain, they wouldn't blink an eye if it was anything between negative infinity and positive infinity.
Why do I always get the urge to divide by zero?
because things tend to break when that happens. and thats pretty kickass.
Why?
zero is signless i.e. it is neither positive or negative. Actually it is both. So when dividing by something infinitely small, the answer is both positive and negative infinity at the same time. That is not defined yet, so it doesn't work. kickass.
could you please call my cell? I want to hear my new ringtone.
okay.
what should i set my phone's default tone to: haruhi or lucky star?
All Alone for Christmas (as usual)
Which recording?
Parked mix.
Mi-mi-miracle Mikurun-run?
No.
YOU WA SHOCK?
The good kind.
Who rocks harder, Dragonforce or Tiny Tim?
Avril Lavigne.
What is obvious troll?
Obvious, I believe.
Where can I get free Weight Watchers Points calculator software? I know it must be out there somewhere ...
In my pants. Meet me at MSN, bring champaign and a pair of handcuffs.
What's the best magical trick evar?
Making my wiener disappear, requiring nothing but a fair maiden with spread legs.
Why is Para Para the ultimate form of music that rules above all?
because Weeaboos think it is cool that you can flap your hands around like an idiot while listening to the equivelent of american happy hardcore.
Why is Japan superior?
Marriage is never a good idea, as the woman tends to give up doing things that impress her man.
When will people stop renaming "family values" into bigoted bullshit?
Some day, maybe.
What are '"family values"', except for that Addams movie? o_O;;
A bunch of nu-metal bands on tour.
Why don't real men eat quiche?
Because it's too eggy. Real men subsist on an exclusive diet of T-bone steaks and the lamentations of their dead enemies' women.
What was the best thing before sliced bread was invented?
( ί ί) Mittens!
Who invented sliced bread, anyway?
The ancient Greeks, who also invented toast.
But who invented mittens?
The Bavarian Illumittani.
Where is Bavaria, anyway? My sources tell me it's somewhere near Germany...
Bavaria is part of Germany.
Why is the sky? No typo. Why is it?
Because the little yellow smurfs.
Why did a perfectly ordinary reboot shoot my partition table to hell this morning?
Because you failed to avoid the incoming game, Bob.
Is there any chance that Mainframe will get off their collective asses and come up with a new season for Reboot?
About as much as your mom winning the 347th Official Hell Ice Skating Championship.
Why do those chaps in the insult thread not appreciate long drawn-out sentences?
It wouldn't be VIP quality if we did that.
Or would it?
Well, that's the crux of the biscuit, as my mammy always said. Is DQN really about the attitude of the response, or the actual crappiness of the response? Some people would like to have it BOTH ways, and they generally get flooded out. It's a damned shame, honestly.
Well, that being said, what is DQN really all about?
Its all about me, but no one realizes it, nor will they ever believe it.
Come to think of it, why can't I shoot Chi from my fingertips like a laser?
( ί ί) Mittens!
((/ f.ㄟ) The eternal blackness of my soul.
(EΝE) Solving the question above us!
( LΦ`) Dur dang kids getting off my lawn!
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==@THE REI'S ANSWER@@@ @==
Why don't people use the established DQN characters in their responses a bit more? Not excessively, mind you.
>>551
Because neither are your fingertips black, nor do they have googly eyes and an oversized gaping red mouth.
>>552
Because all that kopipe makes you a slowpoke.
Does the Simulation Argument (http://www.simulation-argument.com/) convince you, DQN? Are we living in a simulation?
What? Do you mean you didn't know?
No, really. How didn't you know?
I was not cleared for that information.
Now that I have obtained it, where should I go to be terminated with extreme prejudice by Our Friend Computer?
Nowhere. This time, you only get a warning. The third time, however...
How can I get a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spurtle without going all the way to Scotland to buy one?
Why, at Spurtle City! A giant warehouse of spurtles for every occasion!
If a spatula and a spurtle had to fight to the death, which would emerge victorious?
Careful testing by putting a spurtle and a spatula to fight to the death against each other revealed that the winner is the spurtle. As the less fragile implement, it won by keeping its structural integrity fairly intact, while as the spatula's flat surface got shattered in a single, strong swing against the spurtle. I'd upload some photos of the fight, if I would've had a camera to document it with.
Coffee, yay or nay, and why?
Yay, because it makes me feel less tired.
When will I be able to grow a beard long enough to braid into my chest hair?
NEVAR!
Your chemotherapy will permanently damage your hair follicles, everywhere on your body. You will be known as Iktar, the hairless man-ape, and we shall put you in a cage, poke you with a stick, and laugh at you and all the other silly hu-mans.
In what direction is Orion? We have some unfinished business there.
Second star to the left, and on 'til morning.
Who can wear a tutu in a manly way?
Screw celebs, check this guy out: http://triracers.com/TuTuCrossing.jpg
wtf at http://www.auroradancewear.co.uk/acatalog/Boys_Tutu.html
What >>562 asked.
Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel. Everything they wear is instantly infused with a brilliant aura of manliness.
How do porcupines mate?
Very carefully.
On a related note, can a hedgehog be buggered if you shave it first?
No, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
And what was it that's normally on the end of a wizard's staff?
A charred victim.
Why do I get so many BSODs lately? I thought Windows XP was supposed to be moderately stable.
Your hardware is crap.
Why are you running Windows XP in the first place?
Because Vista is crap, and so are all the other Windows, but I want to play games and can't get Wine to run on my Ubuntu installation.
Why is Harry Potter so ridiculously overhyped?
