<RMΝL>@Why does kimchi taste so good nida?
Cheval Pelle.
Lost you, didn't I?
Sure did! I expected you to say "Doug."
Should I chop the hot peppers into the tomato sauce, or should I fry them up with the onions and put them through the food mill first?
Chop them into the sauce.
Should I study for my (ooh!) Black Politics exam or write my Eastern European Dictatorial Regimes final paper?
That depends on which one is a higher percentage of your final grade. On the whole, you should probably knock out the paper, and study when you get bored.
Have you considered changing PolSci to a minor and getting a hard science degree instead, so you don't wind up like me?
No, I majored in Broadway history to be the gayest, most magical DQN.
If art snobs had to survive in the woods for months until they were found by rescurers, how would they do it without practical knowledge?
Ever seen a movie called Alive? It would be like that, but instead of a rugby team eating their dead to stay alive, they wouldn't. Actually, It would be more like The Blair Witch Project.
Would you like some Turkey Jerky?
I would -adore- some Turkey Jerky, although sweet 'n' spicy beef jerky is preferable.
Do otaku actually enjoy looking at a girl in pants that could house a hobo encampment, a poorly styled wig, and cat ears?
looking at a girl in pants? hell no.
why can't i stay away from dqn? i've tried to quit coming here several times but i always end up coming back...
You thought it was over, but the jones kicked in.
Why hasn't Howard Chaykin's "Black Kiss" been turned into a movie yet?
Too much sex; not enough car chases and pistol duels.
Why hasn't DQN been turned into a movie yet?
I think it has.
How do you explain Gay Niggers From Outer Space otherwise?
Somebody felt like combining as many random ideas tnto one film.
Would a sensitive mathmatician get a heart attack after hearing about the number of clones of Lentilla?
Any mathematician would tell you clones do not exist. At any rate, as long as the hypothetical number remains defined in the real domain, they wouldn't blink an eye if it was anything between negative infinity and positive infinity.
Why do I always get the urge to divide by zero?
because things tend to break when that happens. and thats pretty kickass.
Why?
zero is signless i.e. it is neither positive or negative. Actually it is both. So when dividing by something infinitely small, the answer is both positive and negative infinity at the same time. That is not defined yet, so it doesn't work. kickass.
could you please call my cell? I want to hear my new ringtone.
okay.
what should i set my phone's default tone to: haruhi or lucky star?
All Alone for Christmas (as usual)
Which recording?
Parked mix.
Mi-mi-miracle Mikurun-run?
No.
YOU WA SHOCK?
The good kind.
Who rocks harder, Dragonforce or Tiny Tim?
Avril Lavigne.
What is obvious troll?
Obvious, I believe.
Where can I get free Weight Watchers Points calculator software? I know it must be out there somewhere ...
In my pants. Meet me at MSN, bring champaign and a pair of handcuffs.
What's the best magical trick evar?
Making my wiener disappear, requiring nothing but a fair maiden with spread legs.
Why is Para Para the ultimate form of music that rules above all?
because Weeaboos think it is cool that you can flap your hands around like an idiot while listening to the equivelent of american happy hardcore.
Why is Japan superior?
Marriage is never a good idea, as the woman tends to give up doing things that impress her man.
When will people stop renaming "family values" into bigoted bullshit?
Some day, maybe.
What are '"family values"', except for that Addams movie? o_O;;
A bunch of nu-metal bands on tour.
Why don't real men eat quiche?
Because it's too eggy. Real men subsist on an exclusive diet of T-bone steaks and the lamentations of their dead enemies' women.
What was the best thing before sliced bread was invented?
( ί ί) Mittens!
Who invented sliced bread, anyway?
The ancient Greeks, who also invented toast.
But who invented mittens?
The Bavarian Illumittani.
Where is Bavaria, anyway? My sources tell me it's somewhere near Germany...
Bavaria is part of Germany.
Why is the sky? No typo. Why is it?
Because the little yellow smurfs.
Why did a perfectly ordinary reboot shoot my partition table to hell this morning?
Because you failed to avoid the incoming game, Bob.
Is there any chance that Mainframe will get off their collective asses and come up with a new season for Reboot?
About as much as your mom winning the 347th Official Hell Ice Skating Championship.
Why do those chaps in the insult thread not appreciate long drawn-out sentences?
It wouldn't be VIP quality if we did that.
Or would it?
Well, that's the crux of the biscuit, as my mammy always said. Is DQN really about the attitude of the response, or the actual crappiness of the response? Some people would like to have it BOTH ways, and they generally get flooded out. It's a damned shame, honestly.
Well, that being said, what is DQN really all about?
Its all about me, but no one realizes it, nor will they ever believe it.
Come to think of it, why can't I shoot Chi from my fingertips like a laser?
( ί ί) Mittens!
((/ f.ㄟ) The eternal blackness of my soul.
(EΝE) Solving the question above us!
( LΦ`) Dur dang kids getting off my lawn!
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==@THE REI'S ANSWER@@@ @==
Why don't people use the established DQN characters in their responses a bit more? Not excessively, mind you.
>>551
Because neither are your fingertips black, nor do they have googly eyes and an oversized gaping red mouth.
>>552
Because all that kopipe makes you a slowpoke.
Does the Simulation Argument (http://www.simulation-argument.com/) convince you, DQN? Are we living in a simulation?
What? Do you mean you didn't know?
No, really. How didn't you know?
I was not cleared for that information.
Now that I have obtained it, where should I go to be terminated with extreme prejudice by Our Friend Computer?
Nowhere. This time, you only get a warning. The third time, however...
How can I get a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spurtle without going all the way to Scotland to buy one?
Why, at Spurtle City! A giant warehouse of spurtles for every occasion!
If a spatula and a spurtle had to fight to the death, which would emerge victorious?
Careful testing by putting a spurtle and a spatula to fight to the death against each other revealed that the winner is the spurtle. As the less fragile implement, it won by keeping its structural integrity fairly intact, while as the spatula's flat surface got shattered in a single, strong swing against the spurtle. I'd upload some photos of the fight, if I would've had a camera to document it with.
Coffee, yay or nay, and why?
Yay, because it makes me feel less tired.
When will I be able to grow a beard long enough to braid into my chest hair?
NEVAR!
Your chemotherapy will permanently damage your hair follicles, everywhere on your body. You will be known as Iktar, the hairless man-ape, and we shall put you in a cage, poke you with a stick, and laugh at you and all the other silly hu-mans.
In what direction is Orion? We have some unfinished business there.
Second star to the left, and on 'til morning.
Who can wear a tutu in a manly way?
Screw celebs, check this guy out: http://triracers.com/TuTuCrossing.jpg
wtf at http://www.auroradancewear.co.uk/acatalog/Boys_Tutu.html
What >>562 asked.
Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel. Everything they wear is instantly infused with a brilliant aura of manliness.
How do porcupines mate?
Very carefully.
On a related note, can a hedgehog be buggered if you shave it first?
No, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
And what was it that's normally on the end of a wizard's staff?
A charred victim.
Why do I get so many BSODs lately? I thought Windows XP was supposed to be moderately stable.
Your hardware is crap.
Why are you running Windows XP in the first place?
Because Vista is crap, and so are all the other Windows, but I want to play games and can't get Wine to run on my Ubuntu installation.
Why is Harry Potter so ridiculously overhyped?
Because something needs to be overheyped. I prefer overhype over a fairly entertaining novel than other bullshit. At least potheads are easier to deal with and tolerate that wapanese yaoi fan girls.
How can I write the above without sounding like a dork?
By phrasing it in the form of a Harry Potter yaoi fanfic. =^_________^= WAI!
KAWAII DESU NE?
nyo~
Whafjivoho hfojvip thpios?
Your keyboard would be less fucked up.
Is there any way I can rid myself of this pesky need for sleep?
Drink a bottle of bleach and you will never have to worry about sleep again.
Why do humans have 5 fingers on each hand? We hardly ever use the pinky, and naturally counting in octal would be more convenient for computer scientists.
>>574 honestly believes people don't use that finger all the time.
...err. I mean, because we developed from animals that was built that way, and most people actually do use that finger all the time. You just never think about it properly, because you use the tip itself of that finger less frequently than the whole finger itself.
Why is using lame, pathetic and silly insults in the insult thread addictive?
I don't know, but they sure make my heart sing.
Why are computer games addictive?
It's a combination of the glowing screen and the opportunity to press buttons.
Why don't computer games interest me anymore?
Because you stopped wanting to push buttons for the sake of pushing buttons. Get back to work, Jetson! Lazy scum.
What's the ultimate ascii/similar art?
.
(its minimalist)
How do I get in contact with myself?
Deposit 50 bux underneath the northernmost bench in your local park. You will then contact yourself for further instructions.
And here's the question: Why is AIDS such a hilarious thing?
Actually, it's not hilarious at all. You're just horribly immature and will laugh at anything.
Shouldn't you be in school?
No, I'm homeschooled by my mom. She tells me to laugh at the AIDSfags who will surely burn in Hell.
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Cod will lead me to salivation.
What's the deal with Seinfeld?
There was no soup for him.
When will people stop believing in the big beards in the sky?
When they notice the shit on the ground.
Why is comedy based solely around enjoying other people's pain?
Because humans are evil.
How do we purge this evil from ourselves?
Whips, chains, electric shocks and waterboarding.
How come people keep pointing fingers and staring at my codpiece? Doesn't anyone have a sense of fashion anymore?
Nobody born past 1980 has a sense of fashion. They were declared illegal in November 1979.
Who is the best Science Fiction author in the world ever?
Isaac Asimov of course.
What are the three laws of robotics?
1) fellatio is better than regular, unless you are robotized real-doll.
2) spare parts can be ethically used only if they're not installed onto another robot already.
3) when taking robot exam, all mobile transmitters must be shut off and graphic calculator may not have executable programs on it. Write with black or blue ballpoint only.
That's actually just a guess, reasoned from a particular frame of reference. Do you know the real three laws?
Yes I do.
Who are the brain police?
The swibbles. Beware of them.
What can I ask for at Rei's that I'll actually get?
Try asking for a snarky answer.
What's the difference between Shorinji Kempo and Shaolin Kung Fu?
The tasty side dishes that are served at mealtimes.
Who are 'they'?
The way they're statistically right 50% of the time.
Why did they make a Scarface videogame now as opposed to when the movie was new?
Because you wouldn't have been able to tell who was who on Arati's 8 bit glory.
Are we there yet?
Because when the movie was new, videogames were seen as a child's toy, and no one would make a child's toy based on Scarface.
Why can't I sleep before 4am anymore?
Our ancestors would have fallen out of trees a lot more thanks to reduced grip, so the major world religions would probably denounce gravity as being the work of evil.
Why are manga so ridiculously cheap in Japan?
Because luxuries are expensive.
How do I get these CRANBERRY JUICE STAINS out of my AFGHAN RUG?
Bleed on them, then wash the blood out with cold water. (Disclaimer: No idea if it works, it has worked on other carpet stains for me though)
When will be the next Death of 4chan?
There are already numerous cancers that are killing /b/, so I guess it's not much longer.
Iiichan, best imageboard collection or bestest image board collection?
Wakachan is Superior.
Why can't I edit the entry about us on Dramatica?
Because you suck, and they hate you also.
Why are the mittens red and not purple?
Because purple is a highly unnatural colour, and red symbolises love.
When will someone upload Sam Harris's The End Of Faith to Bookchan?
When the copyright expires.
What color does a smurf turn when it has no oxygen?
