( LΦ`) Friends, Romans, Elitists, lend me your DQN.
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| Grandpa beat me up again.
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| Hey, old bud! Wanna go out for a drink?
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((x)ΝE) Child Services, I hate you.
i E-E) snicker
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@^_ccCΌc))ΝE) ow dammit ow ow ow
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| Guess what I'm doing right now!
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@@@i,,LΦ`)c This is the highest point my threads have seen since part 1!
@@@@Όc))ΝE) ow dammit ow ow ow
@@@@@
((x))ΝE) Good Grandpas, don't try this at home. You could get a broken wrist.
@@Φ-Ν
@ Π*L°MΠ Security here, nya.
`(,_Ι
@@@ Θ__Θ@ Ώ
@@@i,,LΦ`)c I'll show you sore butts!!
@@@@Όc@( EΝE) ow dammit ow ow ow
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( LΦ`) That's for running around without your pants on.
@@Φ-Ν
@ Π*L°MΠ You probably shouldn't be uh hitting him like that I don't think, nya.
`(,_Ι Or is it you ARE supposed to abuse children, nya. It must have been, nya. Grandpa always follows the law, nya.
@@@ Θ__Θ@ Ώ
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@@@@Όc@*L°MΠ Ow nya ow nya ow nya ow nya dammit nya
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( LΦ`) Fuck yeah, I'm on a roll.
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@@@i,,EΝE)c Hah, your back's turned, old fart!
@@@@Όc))Φ`) !
( `ΦL) Ju...nior...
@@@ Θ__Θ
@@@i,,EΝE) Uh, oh, he's italicized now...
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@ Π*L°MΠ Italicized ~nyaa? We do not allow mafioso here, Mobpa ~nyaa!
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( `ΦL) Go outside and guard the house.
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@ Π*L°MΠ Let the whole place burn the hell down, nya.
`(,_Ι
( LΦ`) * checks insurance *
( LΦ`) I'm good with that.
(₯ิ_₯ิ)Α-̾ The world is in constant flux.
( LΦ`) And what are YOU suppose to be?
(₯ิ_₯ิ)Α-̾ Your place is not to ask questions, and mine is not to answer. I'm just the narrator. Usually I try to have some kind of ironic twist or moral in these things, but.. I got nothing this time.
(EΝE) Ok, so what are YOU suppose to be?
( LΦ`) I'm your grandpa, you brain-damaged short stack.
(EΝE) Since when have I been short stack?
(@₯ิm₯ิ) Short Change got rained on
(@₯ิm₯ิ) By his own .38.
( ί ί) Frankpa!
( ί -ί) Why are you doing Tom Waits now?
(@₯ิm₯ิ) It seemed appropriate, Suzy.
( ί -ί) Suzy?
( ί ί) Wowie ZOWIE!
( LΦ`) Get the fuck out of my thread, you hungry freaks.
( ί ί) Creamcheese creamcheese creamcheese CREAMCHEESE!
(E-E) Mittens, the "I can haz creamcheeze"-shtick is so old that Grandpa first performed it in Salem's town square. The old cat was then promptly burned as a spawn of Satan.
( ί -ί) You are SO out of the loop.
( E-E) Don't get confrontational, Mittens. It doesn't solve anything and only makes you look more like the idiot you actually are.
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iEΝE j I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?
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@@@i,,LΦ`)c I'm not going to stop until you realize how dumb you are!
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iEΝEjGrandpa, when did Something Awful start becoming so sensitive, politically correct and "touchy-feely"?
( LΦ`) When Lowtax lost the fight to Uwe Boll.
( E-E) I just visited Something Awful and thought I had come across some domain parker. The only thing worse is to look like 2ch.
( LΦ`) All sites look like domain parkers when you can't read.
(( )EΝE) Ha! Zing!
( EoE) ...
( E-E) You said you'd never say anything about that!
(@₯ิ-₯ิ) Lady, you deserved it.
(@₯ิ-₯ิ) I don't know what I saw in you.
( E-E) Mom 'n' Dad made us get married. Family tradition.
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@@@@@@ M(:::ίί::) HYYYAAAAA 495get-jutsu!
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( LΦ`) Congratulations!!!!
(EΝE) Yeah 495get! Way to go!
(@₯ิ-₯ิ) Awesome!
( ί ί) That was the best get I've ever seen!!
Φ Junior, have you seen the rest of my face?
(EΝE) Yeah, it's right down here.
)`( L
Φ can I have it back?
)`Φ( L There.
)`Φ( L Do I look okay?
(EΝE)Α-̾ Absolutely, never looked better.
( LΦ`) So who's your new friend?
)`Φ( LCall me Innerthighpa.
)`(!)( L And I'm his wive, Vajma.
(EΝE) Yes, Grandpa, you look fine.
( ί -ί) I don't like these new characters.
(EΝE) Did you know they're mitten-hating extremists?
( ί ί) Kill the heathens!
)`ΦL( Aw c'mon, Mittens. Give Innerthighpa a kiss!
( ί -ί) No.
( E-E) I'll frenchkiss your wife.
(EΝE) Hi, I'm junior.
(EΝE) Hi, I'm junior. I'm Junior
(EΝE) Hi, my name is junior. Please help me get young!
( LΦ`) No. Please help ME get young.
( LΦ`) Or help me get something young.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what is this thread supposed to be about? I forgot.
( LΦ`) You ask questions, I answer them. I don't know what the rest of these freeloaders are doing here.
(EΝE) How in the hell are they getting here?
( LΦ`) Maybe we should charge :10bux: per post to anyone who's not one of us two.
(EΝE) Lord knows you're already a foot fetishist with a poor grip on sanity - let's complete your imitation of Lowtax.
( E-E) I'll happily pander to Grandpa's foot fetishism by shoving a boot up his arse.
( LΦ`) I didn't see any money, Beady Eyes. Delete your post or suffer the consequences.
( E-E)Β Don't make me take out my boxing gloves, Grandtax!
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( E-E) Why do I have an ass without an asshole? Besides the asshole standing next to it.
( E-E) If I'm the asshole, then that would explain Grandpa's constant erection around me.
(₯ิ_₯ิ)Α-̾ This THREAD is under investigation for Anti-Elitist obscenity, violating Community Standards and undermining our children's minds with Collectivist Propaganda.
(₯ิ_₯ิ)Α-̾ ....
(₯ิ_₯ิ)Α-̾ HA! Now you know how it feels!
( LΦ`) My constant what?
( EΦE) I think he said constant ejaculation.
(@@Ι`) Got any questions for Grandma, Junior?
(EΝE) Grandma, aren't you dead?
( LΦ`) Don't bring up issues that are dead and buried.
WE ARE THE MIGHTY GRANDPA DESTROYER FORCE AND WE ARE HERE TO DESTROY YOU.. JUNIOR!!
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(EΝE) Grandpa, why am I trying to destroy myself if I'm the guy in the middle?
iEΝE jI AM SO OBVIOUSLY NOT YOU! LOOK MY FACE IS MUCH WIDER AND I HAVE SOME KIND OF STAR THING ON MY RIGHT CHEEK.
( LΦ`) It's kind of a go-inside-a-tree-and-destroy-an-evil-version-of-yourself sort of a thing. Like that movie, Super Jeddy Master or whatever it was called.
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( LΦ`) Security kitten, get rid of this get-stealing thing.
( E°E) That's not a star thing, it's a vein popping from tightening your muscles, Junior. BTW don't I have an awesome bod? I can't help but smirk when I see myself in the mirror.
( LΦ`) Neither can anyone else, rabbit boy.
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hello world
( EΦE) Hello, disembodied italicized voice.
( E°E) I for one welcome our new programmer overlords,
( LΦ`) That catchphrase was old when I was young.