<ヽ｀∀´> Why does kimchi taste so good nida?
Japanese are flooding the market with their own imitation kimchi! We need to stop them!
How do I cure the hiccups? (Or hiccough, if you spell it that way) Seriously, guys. You made me laugh too hard with all shit here tonight.
Curing the hiccups can be easily done with digital rectal stimulation. Please be remembering this should be done by a qualified health care provider, not a prostitute.
If I leave here tomorrooow, Would you still remember meee?
Yes, ⊂二二二（ ＾ω＾）二二二⊃ shall be remembered eternally, thus it never leaves.
Does that mean i will remember you as myself ?
Some people co-opt other's experiences into their personal narrative. Perhaps you are a budding author!
Have you written any poetry lately?
My life is an endless pit of darkness / gloom devours my restless yet phlegmatic soul / will anyone give me a hug?
No, seriously. I need a hug. Please?
Not until you've washed the emo off.
Is it O.K to report drug dealers to the authorities?
No, but it's ok to want extra sauce.
Is it right to fear drug dealers?
Nope, you make good friends with them!
Do drugs make you cool?
Well yes, in a way, shortly before you finally go cold. Or room-temperature, as it may be.
Do cool people make drugs?
No. Most of them are chemistry geeks.
Have you stopped beating your wife?
No, I'm far too busy being on drugs to stop.
How do I obtain apoligy juice?
You must squeeze the apolojuice fruit, mix with water, and annihalte Hiroshima.
If I plant Cheerios in the soil, will it grow into a donut tree?
No, the most you can get are oats.
are there any foods that smell worse than kimchi?
There's natto, and probably several examples of fine British cuisine.
Is OMG Global Warming caused primarily by variations in solar activity?
It is caused primarily by Al Gore's farts.
Where did we all begin and where will we go?
we began in the future and will go to the past.
do you think emma watson has a kind heart like hermione?
The restraining order she had her lawyer filed against me speaks otherwise.
If a tree falls in the forest and claps one hand, what colour is the sound that is produced?
A furiously sleeping colorless green.
Should I bother going to work today?
No. Work will come to you. I have foreseen it.
Do you want to pick cherries in my garden?
I would rather pop cherries in a young women's garden.
How much more ridiculous can these questions possibly become?
Oh, they haven't even begun to scratch the bedrock yet.
If you were a tree, what kind of dog would piss on you?
A quadraplegic dog.
How do I respond to a structured reply thread?
like this.
what does insertion feel like?
text.
how do i got banned from 4ch?
by posting CP in the form of ascII art
how do i steal bikes?
Dynamite the lock.
When did America become a nation of frightened wimps?
When Jews did WTC
When will World2ch come back?
A few days after the end of time.
Has 4-ch really gotten worse in the few days squeeks has been gone?
Yes, but Squeeks is only a metaphorical construct and acts as a placebo to encourage VIP quality posting.
Why does everything taste like chicken?
Because God tastes like chicken, and made all other animals taste in his image. Pork is not of this universe.
Why can't I get coffee Pepsi around here?
Too much caffeine for one hand.
Why does my coffee taste metallic?
The T-1000 has disguised himself as your coffee. Drinking some molten steel will aid in digestion.
Why do women who dress with exposed cleavage get upset when men notice their exposed cleavage?
They are actually getting upset that you're ashamed of peeping. The real solution is to notice and then compliment.
Help me DQN, I've got a job interview tomorrow and need to make this black eye go away. How?
Just to get someone to punch you in the other eye to even it out, they won't even notice.
What is the best revenge?
Toothbrush up the arse.
Also, I didn't forget to post a question. My question is about the nature of a question, and imploded on itself.
So did my answer.
Why are Ipods so popular?
They're "cute" and user-friendly.
Where are the emergency mittens?
At the top of the page.
Why aren't "na no" and "kashira" as popular as "desu"?
Critical lack of Gay Magic
For the love of Christ, how do I ge
Wow. And you didn't even mention Candlejack.
Now isn't tha
Yeah, that's pretty dumb, seeing that "how do I ge" is an older and far more superior meme than fucking Candlejack.
So who here is going to tk mi 2 da | ? Lol.
>>43 WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST
What's the deal with 4channers?
Extra chromosome.
Why is vodka the only alcoholic beverage that makes me puke?
All other kinds of booze don't have the skills to make a proper puke. In fact they're so embarrassed that they won't even try.
Did I just break the shitty-o-meter?
Please allow me to take a look...
Congratulations, you have broken the record by 1.5
Ok, say we have a box, and we force someone into this box and throw the box off the building.
did we throw the box, or the person?
You threw both. At least that's what I would say if I was on a jury.
How does it carry out?
It is not to be certain, but involving many w's.
How does it borrow?
Borrowing is forbidden under DQN law.
What is love?
A manifestation of our innate desire to reproduce.
Why is weed still illegal?
Move to Amsterdam, ha ha.
If you go on a date with someone from Holland, do you have to "go Dutch"?
Yeah. Going "German", however, is generally only acceptable if you ask your date first.
So is that why Germany doesn't import a lot of beluga?
Yes.
The Netherlands is a fucking terrible country and they tolerate every goddamned freak here. Why is that?
Because the country isn't run by fundamentalist christians and 14-year-old boys who can't accept people that are different from them.
Why am I still awake?
Because you don't want tomorrow to come.
What's so bad about tomorrow?
Tomorrow is Monday. I have to go back to work.
How can the real otaku get to Akiba?
I hear listening to The Vapors helps.
We might even go so far as to take another instance, that of Mr. Tilden's bequest of five millions of dollars for a free library in the city of New York, but in referring to this one cannot help saying involuntarily, How much better if Mr. Tilden had devoted the last years of his own life to the proper administration of this immense sum; in which case neither legal contest nor any other cause of delay could have interfered with his aims. But let us assume that Mr. Tilden's millions finally become the means of giving to this city a noble public library, where the treasures of the world contained in books will be open to all forever, without money and without price. Considering the good of that part of the race which congregates in and around Manhattan Island, would its permanent benefit have been better promoted had these millions been allowed to circulate in small sums through the hands of the masses?
I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listen-- I mean, uh... No, that would be bad, for reason that are... such and such.
If Deities were ice cream, which one would be Vanilla?
Buddha, but he has plenty of toppings available to add flavor.
Is there some special property to these question threads that makes them so popular?
You don't have to come up with anything post until you're at the bottom of the thread anyway. It's a procrastinators dream.
WHY GOD WHY?!
BECAUSE, MAN, BECAUSE!
Candy, for breakfast?
Never. Everyone knows it's Hamburgers for Breakfast.
Why isn't White Castle more successful?
Because as it turns out, white isn't the new black after all.
How come there's apparently no such thing as a reasonable economist?
Because there are RULES. There are LAWS. Things work just So.
How did Harvey Dent become Two-Face?
looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool
looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool
looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooool
I totally don't know what you're talking about.
Where's MODD when you need one?
Modd is a faggot and I dont have anything to answer, shit sux.
Why are text boards always made of so much more win than imageboards?
Because true QUALITY is only available to the blind.
What happens if you drop salt on the back of a sitting sparrow?
It turns into a dove.
Why is this site full of wankers like >>66-68 these days?
They're only wankers because you don't seduce them with your ass.
How do we evoke our superpowers?
Chant U-S-A, Chi-na, In-di-a like a cheering squad.
How would I go around summoning a succubus? I'm kind of... ronery, you see.
I don't know, so I'm just going to sing the theme song from Hokuto no Ken 2:
Welcome to this crazy time
Kono ikareta jidai e youkoso
Kimi wa tough boy
Matomo na yatsu hodo feel so bad
Shouki de irareru nante un ga ii ze
You, tough boy
Toki wa masani seikimatsu
Yodonda machikado de bokura wa deatta
Keep you burning
Kakenukete
Kono fuhai to jiyuu to bouryoku no mattadanaka
No boy no cry
Kanashimi wa
Zetsubou ja nakute ashita no manifesuto
We are living, living in the eighties
We still fight, fighting in the eighties
Does that make you want to kill me?
It makes me want to kick you, repeating endlessly until you explode.
How long is a piece of string?
What did your face look like before your mother was born?
Is answering a question with a question fair game?
No, that's grounds for disqualification. Sorry, >>78.
So who's in the lead now?
Lasty.
Why don't they sell Mini Eggs all year round?
>>80
It is a conspiracy to fix prices and therefore profiteer immorally.
What is the BTU/gallon rating for uranium?
Enough to power a radscorpion, or a medium-large roachor.
Who stole my afterburner? Was it you? Huh? You want I should fuck you up, eh?
Yeah I stole it. What you gonna do?
Okay, I lied, its drum and bass, what you gonna do?
I'm going to play Top Gun on the NES.
What other 8-bit flight sims were cool?
Raiden, and the one with the dolphin and the naked people.
What is the cure for the common cold?
Gay magic
How much gay magic is enough to cure the common cold?
Lain is the cure for everything.
Is that too stereotypical cyberpunk?
Yes.
Why listen to Lain when you can listen to The Cure.
Anime is always superior.
Why listen to The Cure when you could be cutting yourself instead?
You might get permanent scarring on your eardrums.
What do you say to someone who puts mayo on her fried eggs?
Classified information.
Is there anything Rei isn't out of ?
She isn't out of excuses.
Why am I -still- on DQN?
Sina broke your legs for non-payment of debt interest, and you cannot afford a wheelchair.
How's it hanging?
Low.
Is there anyway to increase my hang height?
Staples.
Do you have any grapes?
I'm a persona non grata there ever since the incident with the canned pineapple rings seven years ago.
How does a shithole like that even stay around? I mean, they've got absolutely no customer service nor even a basic sense of decorum!
They need to listen to Ann Coulter more.
Is Ann Coulter really a man?
Signs point to yes.
Why don't Magic 8 balls ever tell me anything useful?
Because your 8-balls are not made in Bolivia.
Would magic balls solve >>103's problems better?
Ask again later.
How about now?
You've got some real onions in your bag to have the nerve to ask that!
"lol" 50 times just isn't funny, is it?
No, it isnt. :(
Whats the best thing to do with a stolen ipod?
Keep it. The person who you got it from is probably an hero now, anyway.
Now...what's the best thing to do with stolen secrets from the PRC government?
Tear them up and make a tasty casserole out of them. The PRC has many secrets, too many to miss a handful. Your theft may cause the starvation of a hard-working official's family however.
How come standing exactly still is so hard?
あなたは食べないから
食べますか。
>>110
you accidently went to the wrong board and site, you should go to the food board on 2ch
why did i go to the trouble of translating that?
Because you're DQN.
Has anyone seen my iPod? Have you, >>107?
I am >>107 and theft is property. My Property. MINE.
Are you a happy miser?
Well, you're definately not a Malice Mizer...
Why is DESU DESU DESU?
Yes, I stopped posting for the last few days, sorry.
What is a "reach-around"?
The Reach Around is a rather common type of african monkey, characterised by the way the monkeys gain their wings.
Will anything special happen on September the 5000th 1993?
DQN gets shut down for good.
Are you all sorry you asked?
No, but I will repent, out of fear of damnation.
Buddha is coming for dinner tomorrow, what should I use as a garnish?
lamb roast
who killed my internet?
Your alter ego, Suomynona.
Why does everyone look at me weird when I wear a tinfoil hat?
Because it makes your face melt and most people would realize that their face was melting.
Why is >>121 still alive?
He's a zombie. You need to cut off his head, or crack open his brain-pan.
Speaking of which, what pole weapon is better for Zombiegeddon, a halberd or a bardiche? There's only 15 more shopping days to go!
I'd go with the lance, myself. It's much, how do you say, pointier.
How should I enjoy >>123's brahnz, when the silly harman hambag m!zzahz marh zambag manbagz? Barhah!
Stop playing urban dead
Why do people play shitty browser games?
Because the people who make shitty browser games that people play usually can't afford to turn them off.
Is the pope Catholic?
No.
Does a bear shit in the woods?
only if it makes a sound
what's day is today if yesterday was tomorrow?
Monday the 4983rd of September 1993
What is a panda?
I'll show you later.
What is a USB cable?
Most definatly not a panda.
Who is the creator of the internet?
御鉄風様だ。
御鉄風様が全能で親切なあ御ネットの御神様だ。
今日はあなたは御鉄風様に願ってしまったか。
私は全然気遣わないことを好む鉄の方法を避けることを好む。 これをまた愛することを学ぶ。
愛することを学んだら堂ですか
御鉄風様はあなたをとても全部知っているのか
Because I can't understand you, that's why.
What's with the vipper invasion?
DQN is the cool place to just totally relax and do whatever.
Do you want to be a VIPSTAR, too?
No, I want to be an Oscar Meyer weiner.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
About twice as many as pinheads can dance on the head of an angel, according to the Ramones.
What's the best practice for carding wool?
Ask it for a photo ID in a nonchalant manner, explaining you have to check with everyone.
What is the best blade to use for decapitating infidels?
A plastic cafeteria knife
Speekka day english?
Too much dreaming and screaming killed earth
what happens when you mix tea and soda water?
You get Cillit Bang.
What the hell is up with Prolog?
It's the past. The Past is Prolog.
Have you ever been preluded out?
I was once epilogued out. Strangest thing so far.
How does a camel fit through a pinhole?
A little snug, but that's the current fashion.
What can I do with a 60' long needle?
Hide it in the world's largest haystack.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he naked or homeless?
The turtle is dead, due to the fact that the spinal cord is part of the shell.
What percentage of people who play Mario Bros games call the Koopas turtles?
No.
What is opposite day like in Soviet Russia?
In Soviet Russia, It is never not always opposite day.
When did these Soviet Russia Jokes Start anyways?
Blame Yakov Smirnoff.
America! What a country, yes?
Ja, ja, ist sehr gllücklich.
What percentage of people who play Dig Dug games call the Pookas "the orange monsters"?
No one plays Dig Dug.
Why did pong take off like it did?
Because it rhymes with"Dong." And people are pervs like that.
If I invent an incredibly simple videogame, name it something that rhymes with a reproductive organ, or some slang thereof, will I get rich?
Well, only if your game about how to open locks without the proper key is really well made, or takes off like mad in the Japanese market.
How close are we to gay magic world domination?
Nope, I dont fall, I trip and I roll.
Drug references anyone?
Drop it like it's got 300 mics.
What is the DQN cure for cancer?
The sun is excited.
What happens if the sun orgasms?
It is not a fascination, so much as a preoccupation.
Also, cocks.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Disambiguation. When you ask "do you have the time?" when pointing to your crotch it has another meaning.
Will it be hotter or colder tomorrow?
Does it matter? Not like you're going outside.
Oranges?
Yellows.
Is Anarchistic Dadaism the wave of the future?
Fuck oranges.
Why am I so hostile?
Because you're an internet tough guy.
Why do I feel compelled to insult everybody on the internet?
You've had too many "insult the poster above us" threads. Try the "molest the poster above us" thread for a relaxing and/or inspiring change.
Is there a Dadaism that wasn't Anarchistic?
Yes, Totalitarian Dadaism.
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Because asteroids would have to be called something else.
Why am I spending time posting in this thread instead of working?
You're watching nature videos on Youtube, so it's no prob.
Can I order something to eat?
It is only good to be THE king, not just king.
Who wants to go get some fast food?
Sure, i own a fast food restaurant so i can give it to you for free.
So, may i take your order?
Nachos with cheese.
I don't suppose >>177 just came here out of the Rei thread?
Perhaps, but don't count on actually receiving anything from your order.
Do you really want fries with that?
Yes, you bitch. I want my vegetables!
Why is San Fransisco so fabulous?
Two reasons. 1. Cable Cars are awesome. 2. Rice-a-Roni.
What's for dinner?
For the architecture, the bagels and of course the splendid gay magic.
Why is New Hampshire so fabulous?
Why, to take in a matinée, have a nice dinner in Little Italy, and then catch another show tonight!
But seriously, it's monday, and the theaters are dark! You'll need to stay overnight, and get to the half-price ticket trailer early before the lines start!
What's the last show that you saw on Broadway?
Well, to quote Groucho Marx, "If you don't know where your head is at, put your hat on your neck."
Can you really get wisdom anywhere you can find it?
Depends if the balls touch.
Why are you so depressed?
Because pandas are nearly extinct.
What's the best music to have sex to?
Speedcore at about 210BPM.
Why does my head hurt after listening to that?
You need a padded headboard, or you should be on top for a change.
How will you celebrate May Day, Brother Worker?
I flayed the skin from off a capitalist exploiter's flesh and turned it into a rather snazzy set of book covers, which sell for quite a nice markup in Japan.
Where could I buy an elephant-leg trash can?
Same place you sell Capitalist-skinned book covers. You'll find they are sold from vending machines, like everything else.
I dream of one day of being assassinated in a dramatic moment that captures the nation's attention. How important do I have to be before it is considered an assassination rather than just a murder?
If you are a pop idol, or were 6 years ago or less, you'd be the headline on evey major newspaper.
How many movies bashed by the NY times aren't big hits?
About fifty seven, ish.
How come DQN doesn't get spammed like General and Games do?
DQN automatically filters most all spam into coherent and topical this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 13 your a with a recursive scanning engine that eliminates up to 96.6% of all repeated postings.
Is there another word for synonym?
No, but there are plenty of antonyms for it.
Have you any idea what the furniture does when I'm at work and no one is watching?
www.furnitureporn.com/
Can find an antonym for THAT?
www.celibate-milkcrates.com
Other than the caffeine, is there anything really bad in Diet Pepsi?
There's aspartame, which is under investigation as a possible carcinogen.
Is there anything we can do to stop the end of DQN?
You could, but the 200GET is mine.
What can I do with a thermos bottle, except stole hot or cold drinks in one?
You can use it to store lukewarm drinks, as well.
This usage is not endorsed by Thermos® Limited Liability Corporation.
IN NO EVENT WILL THERMOS BE LIABLE FOR INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR SPECIAL DAMAGES.
Wal-Mart lowers prices everyday, so why isn't everything free yet?
Because when you're not looking, they raise 'em, too.
Does this hat make my ass look fat?
no, you ARE fat, it's not the hat's fault.
how do you fit a world in an egg without making the egg bigger or the world any smaller?
Redefine "in."
How do you get it back out?
You crack the egg on the edge of a pan, and hope Imam abu Abdallah doesn't smack you for wasting his time.
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
The computer service guy that saw no RAM.
what is the greatest ROM file in the universe?
Nude Punch Out.nes
Where can I find enlightenment?
The Petsmart in Kent, Washington. Talk to the guy with the huge beard.
He must be pretty smart. You didn't even have a question.
How does one treat a bad case of phimosis?
Amputation. I mean the whole thing. All of it. Or it'll come back later.
How come nearly every industrial and/or darkwave band seems to have at least one track each named "Falling" or "Numb"?
That's what happens to you after you listen to industrial music long enough.
Where is my hat?
At the very end of the over, bend in, so you can reach it... i uuu , , , can't reach it because. of my large frame... gfdjgorkkkldf hahaha take good look, thud fdkkhhkhkhkhkkhkhhhhhhhh
Do not read this, you will be kissed on the 4th day of reading this , then you will be anally penetrated by a large metallic object of about 20 cm in diameter. Can you believe it?
Really? I cannot believe it's not butter
Here are some things we can assume for the sake of the problem:
* let’s assume you are rectangular - let’s say, 1 meter, 0.5 meters wide, and 0.5 meters deep
* forget about dripping rain - any drop that hits you counts as one drop
* the rain is evenly distributed and falls at a constant and consistent speedThe question is, over a given distance, does the rate at which you move (in a straight line, you can assume) affect how many drops of rain you come in contact with?
Moving quicker, you will run into more drops than moving slower (or not at all). Since a person's silhouette is larger observed from the front than from above, one will end up collecting more water in total moving faster. However, the wise mathematician will simply carry an umbrella if it seems like it will rain today.
How do I get these gnats out of my remote control?
Masturbate on the control and drink the sperm.
How do I get a black dick in my anus?
Ask nicely, and buy the first round.
Will the world end on thursday?
Cast GNAA Summoning IV.
How do I get a black dick out of my anus?
Drink laxatives.
Will GNAA hunt our internet enemies and rape them live with a Youtube webcast?
Do we actually have enemies?
Or are we fallen utterly from the eyes of man and God?
Yes, even now Darkpa readies his many armies.
Did you actually answer anyone?
Does answering with a question count?
Will squeeks go to a maid cafe in akihabara?
If he does, I hope he takes pictures!
On to the most important question: is a visit to Yoshinoya on the itinerary?
Certainly! That's on Thursday afternoon.
What will the weather be like?
Apocalyptic
What would happen if branches of government had the financial incentive to do a great job?
Perhaps corporations would actually be running the government instead of merely fucking it up.
What is the best kind of government? (hint: it's DQN)
An Elitist Superstructure, duh.
What part do the little people play in the ideal form of government?
they don't
where should i go for dinner?
My Pants.
Should I be more tactful?
Not really, no.
If I produce something that is uncreative and completely lacking in style and taste in a short amount of time for the sake of proving that I can at least produce some thing on a whim, is that some thing worth producing at all?
Yes. It's called porn, and people make millions off of it.
What the hell does SysRq do?
Every time you press it, an unnamed prisoner deep in the darkest bowels of IBM HQ gets an electric shock.
I find myself really wnating to say "with extra sauce". Is that ok?
It depends a great deal on the context, but if you happen to be in a restaurant, sure you can.
I seem to live off of pretzels. Should I be worried about my sodium intake?
Only if you're also a slug.
Why are pretzels tied into knots?
[b]testing[/b] <- [b]
[i]testing[/i] <- [i]
testing <- --*--
testing <- --**--
this is a test
>>233 Obviously because they're agitated over the stupidity of people doing test posts in a structured thread.
Can someone explain Pringles to me?
Certainly. Oh, you wanted me to...?
Can someone explain Pringles to >>236 and I?
Pringles - they are like potato chips, but they are not made like normal potato chips; this means that they are a bit starchier, a little tastier in some folks' opinions, and they are less greasy. This also means that in some places, they're not allowed to be called "potato chips", even though they have the same form factor and are made from potatoes. The fat-free kinds contain Olestra, and it's not advised you binge on any kind of snack food too often, but it's your life. Mmmm Pringles.
Why wouldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because Saitama was on the other side.
What's on the other side of Saitama?
Tsukuba.
Who was that lady I saw you with last night?
That was no lady. That was Bottles.
Why does the porridge bird lay his egg in the air?
He's trying to get into the mile high club.
What does wolf meat taste like?
It tastes like old dog.
Why is there a whale in front of >>244's computer?
There's is not!
What is wrong with you?
I recently returned from a transatlantic marathon, and as such, I am slightly delirious.
Or am I?
^________________________________________^
There is an elephant in the way.
Do photons have mass?
Yes, unless gravity is weird for altering their path...
If zero wing is the most famous engrish game, what is second?
Nintendo Pro Wrestling.
Why is broken English so funny?
I am not understandink zis idiom.
Prease to be explainink.
It cannot expect meaning from usual meaning of the component as kicking, round table meeting and because of that the bucket it does, does not use the head language being general as a circular table, expression from grammatical rule or, is not the element of the expression which is larger than like feature.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could do crack-cocaine?
Well, if the price of a blowjob was multiplied by the price of a crack rock, that number would be the answer.
Are there any numbers besides 42 that were declared important in Douglas Adams's writing?
Yes. Infinity - 1, the highest finite number imaginable. Also, Trillian's phone number, the odds of being picked up in a vacuum within 30 seconds.
What is the meaning of Liff?
A book written by a dead vegetarian.
Has Terry Pratchett written anything recently?
I think Monstrous Regiment was his last book; he's about due for another here any time.
Does anyone else obsessively catalog their personal libraries?
No, but I have a massive mdb of my entire comic book collection, which somehow proves that it is worth $13k.
So.. does anyone want to buy a comic book collection?
No, go back to 4chan and take your shitty memes with you.
щ(`Д´щ) WHY hasn't the WHY thread gotten to 1000 yet?
Because of 4chan.
What is wrong with moot?
He decided to GB2/Mexico, and would not GB2/doingagoodjob.
Has an improbability drive been sold on ebay?
Effector 13 Improbability Drive guitar effect pedal.
That's the closest thing I could find.
Is P=NP?
Yes, when N=1.
Has anyone ever managed to read through the "This is John Galt Speaking" chapter of Atlas Shrugged?
Those who speak have not, and those who have don't speak.
What makes k-tan on 2ch's English board so incredibly hawt?
Nothing in particular. You're a teenager. You get hard when the wind blows.
Why was native australian wildlife unable to cope with the introduction of wussy little housecats?
>>265
Nothing. You're being delusional and starved of comp-sci chicks.
Forget me @_@
What does DQN's future hold?
>>270
To the sacred Invisible Pink Unicorn.
Where do mittens go when they cease to be findable?
>>271
-‐‐- 、
／ ヽ
! ! 人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 乂-‐ −! i Where do you think
＼ヽ .ゞ - ﾉノ they go?
｀｀フ i´
/ ＼ﾉゝ
/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━━━∞∞∞∞∞==========
== THE REI'S LOST AND FOUND ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Wow, no question? Guess you're all out of those, too.
How come threads like these tend to drift off the original structure?
>>273
-‐‐- 、
／ ヽ
! ! 人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 乂-‐ −! i I'm sorry, we're fresh out
＼ヽ .ゞ - ﾉノ of answers.
｀｀フ i´
/ ＼ﾉゝ Freshen your cup, hon?
/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━━━∞∞∞∞∞==========
== THE REI'S Q's AND A's ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
( ´ω`) Please do.
Should I go with the bagel and cream cheese, or the chocolate doughnut that I really want?
Neither of them are good for you, so go for the donut.
What's that coming over the hill?
>>276
Oscar.
What healthy method will cure my headache quickest?
HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD
HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD
HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD
What was the biggest internet craze?
Dancing Baby. It rocked everybody's world.
When will we have world peace?
That strange "Instant Messaging" thing that started with ICQ and AOL. Thankfully it imploded quickly.
We can CU See Me, and I'll get naked for you. Got a camera?
Yes, but it's a 1997 model. Thus not supported by CUSeeMe, being so newfangled.
What do the Ps and Qs actually mean?
It fell out of favour once they discovered his correctly spelled brother, credibility.
How come show business is so shallow, yet so cut-throat?
Shallow is easy to do, so there's always a lot of competition.
So when is Pat Robertson going to bite the dust?
When God wants him to.
Am I God?
The very act of questioning yourself makes it quite unlikely.
Should I upgrade my Shimano 105s to Dura-Ace?
Only if you can still do barrel rolls afterwards.
Why does the right lens keep falling out from my glasses?
you are masturbating too much.
I didn't get my admission from university of choice, should I go on a killing spree in the admission office?
No, because it might hurt your chances of getting into your second choice, and you'd probably wind up having to get an associates degree at your community college.
What is Squeeks doing this very second?
Fapping to loli.
I'm moving to London, UK in September to study. What's the most important thing I should never leave my flat without?
>>290
A towel.
And maybe your oyster card.
What can I do to fall asleep when not even fwapping takes care of that problem?
Try to memorize the nutritional information on every box of every food in your home, and in your neighbors.
How man cc is in a cubic lightyear?
Approximately 8.469 times 10^53.
What's the best way to get extradited to the US?
Change your legal name to أسامة بن محمد بن عوض بن لادن.
Then travel to the nearest US Embassy and scream "Marg bar Amrika!" for several hours until someone either asks you to leave or hands you a visa.
Do you have any tips for growing a really sweet beard?
Go afghaan style. just let it go.
مرگ بر آمریکا ؟
ایرانی؟
I want to buy a PS3, how many people should I kill to get the money?
Over 9000.
Why can I not memorise the trig ratios for 30°, 45° and 90°?
>>297
Because your mnemonics for them consist of touching yourself at night.
What should I have for breakfast?
>>297
Because your mnemonics for them consist of touching yourself at night.
What should I have for breakfast?
Green eggs and ham.
Did I do a proper 300GET?!?
Good enough for government work.
Will my slippers stop trying to chew off my feet?
You could try banging them against the wall a couple times.
Why do I spend so much time telling hoodlovers on 4chan's /f/ to die in a fire?
>>302
Because you take it up the butt too rarely lately. =(
What does the future of 4chan's /b/ hold?
>>304
Yes. Maybe not at 4chan, but it has become legendary among certain people.
Even if 2ch would be forced to close down, people would remember and sing it's praise for a long while afterwards.
It's slightly like that for /b/, only more /b/tarded and not as famous globally.
What's a hood-lover and is it ghetto/robin related?
>>305
It's a /b/quality /f/ meme that needs to die in a fire.
What's hotter, a guy making out with a clone of himself, or a guy making out with the one he was named after, after going back in time to catch him at the same age as the time-traveller?
The latter, but only if they both have an androgynous name and the predecessor is female.
How many faggots should I gun down today?
At least five, dykes are bonus points.
What's the worst tv show ever?
One is enough. You know who.
What is that weird blob Grandpa's been having at the back of his head lately?
>>308-309
SPONGE-BOB SQUARE-PANTS!
Why are my favourite Japanese drama series never fansubbed?
>>311
Because it's a deliberate conspiracy to spite you you.
They're watching you... You don't have much time left anymore... You can run but you can't hide.
Since when did fans really mean fanatics, as it used to in the past? Crazy fangirls/boys truly being insane shudder
>>312 It happened around the first time that we saw streaming episodes of Maid in Akihabara... and there was Mako. Something snapped within us, and to quote a great sage, Nothing could ever be the same.
What the hell is that groundhog doing under my car??!!
>>314
Burrowing. It's gonna jump out and slash you liek ninja at a good moment, and then steal your vespene gas.
Why should we always look on the bright side of life?
Because we wear our sunglasses at night.
Can love bloom on a battlefield?
No, that would impossible, since love is a battlefield, and something cannot bloom on itself.
What will be the site for the next world war?
I have been told that outer space that is near Earth will be where the next war takes place. Long range missiles will be used primarily.
Has anybody actually put a screen door on a submarine and survive?
Well yes, when they had to evacuate a screen door factory in Mrdslovsk back in 1959 with just one of those newfangled Soviet nuclear sub. The exercise was somewhat pointless.
How come gay magic seems to have gone off the radar once more?
By gay magic.
Why does posting my social security number on 4chan's /b/ filter to a series of x's interrupted by dashes?
>>320
It doesn't. Sucks to be you.
Where do tanpopos go when they die?
They advance into the future along with the other three time travelers, where they will have to decide whether to continue with their journey.
Can you help it (popotan)?
No, that would violate the Prime Directive.
Why does Wikipedia have a Quantum Mechanics article in "Simple English"?
Because some amateurs want to attempt to use Quantum Mechanics without learning other things to handle it safely.
Why do overseas countries continue to buy junk bonds from the USA?
Because the USA touches our collective tralala (mmm, our ding-ding-dong) in return.
How could this thread ever be bumped off the front page?
It has to get to 1000 posts.
If he shot the sheriff, why didn't he shoot the deputy?
He ran out of bullets and he ran away, because Optimus Prime came to save the day.
When did one's favourite anime getting licensed become a curse rather than a blessing?
When more people than just the ones living in continents the animes were licensed in started downloading too. Tiny fansub group in e.g. USA, ceasing to sub a very non-mainstream series due to licensing in USA = bad news for eurofag fans. And since a significant majority of the anime-downloaders today are pubertal teens who think they are entitled to get anything they desire for free.
How can I become less bitter?
Get laid regularly. It'll mellow you out bigtime.
Did Habitrail ever actually deliver the panda bear hamsters it advertized so many years ago?
No, but the breed is available at many pet stores near you.
What's the best book for learning to program in php?
The online manual. If you know anything about programming at all, it'll be really easy.
Or should he just get a CS degree?
He'd have to travel to South Korea for that, and wait until their SC program gets a sister degree. So, no.
What is the cancer that is killing DQN?
That one poster who keeps trying to push "gay magic" as if it were funny enough to catch on.
What is the acne that keeps DQN from getting laid?
The guy who isn't into the whole thing.
What is the follicle infection that hurts DQN whenever it sits down?
Gay magic-itis of the pubula.
How come one of you seems to hate Gay Magic? It's funny after all!
Because they too don't get laid often enough.
What'll Grandpa's next birthday be like?
( ・-・) He won't live to see it.
( ・-・) Why doesn't anybody like me?
Because you need a dent in your face too.
How long will my new piggy bank survive until it has to stop for hammer time again?
Until noon tomorrow.
What happened with the happytastic mittens? Where did that go?
Why?
Why life exists? Rei got bored.
How many angry bananas does it take to raze the Colosseum ?
Forty-two.
Will Junior ever find true love?
Twenty-four.
Why are you staring at me?
Because we can't quite understand how you managed to answer the wrong question even though there's a 1-hour margin...
So, will Junior ever find true love?
Twenty-four.
I have a satellite dish and hundreds of channels to choose from, so why is there still nothing on TV?
Because you continue to give answers that are far below the standards of quality set forth by the Elitist Superstructure.
How can we further prevent Junior from finding true love?
Twenty-four
Who wears mittens anyway?
People who live in the cold.
Why have gloves replaced mittens as ideal cold weather gear?
Because silly hu-mans enjoy having having the entire surface of their hands covered by their gear, including in between their fingers.
How can we incinerate the 24-guy's brain the easiest?
By Scanning.
Since so many vintage horror movies are being remade, when can we hope for a decent version of "Scanners"?
There is none because so many remakes fail to recapture the greatness of the original.
Will there ever be a videogame based movie that is great?
Not for as long as Uwe Boll walks this earth. Likely not even after he's daid and buried... assuming he can be killed by conventional weapons.
I need a weapon to kill me a fascist. What would you suggest?
The Petition to make Whiny Congressmen play Violent Video Games. Works a charm.
When will World of Starcraft come out?
October 1993.
Is September ever going to end?
I don't know, but wake me up when it does.
Zzz ... zzz... zzz ... snort?
mhm, quite.
How many different colors of towels will I need for my grand scarf project?
27
Who will get to see the final result of your scarf project?
None, he will hang himself with an off-white towel when he goes insane trying to complete his grand scarf project with towels.
Why does David Blaine hate America?
Gay Magic!
So, do you still play Starcraft?
Who doesn't?
No, really, who doesn't still play Starcraft?
Fools. We will get them. Oh yes, we will... MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA
When will Duke Nukem Forever finally be made? (;_; )
It's being made since 10 years.
WHAT IS YOUR FUNCTION IN LIFE?
To ask you why I need a function.
Why do I need to have a function in life?
Because the efficiency gestapo will have you terminated otherwise.
Is there any form of singing superior to a capella?
Overtone singing. But that's it.
Where can I get a free army of intelligent-enough-but-not-too-clever minions?
4chan.
Is it me or is it getting hotter?
It's you. Dayum, you sure are hot.
Where can I obtain e-books of the Harry Dresden series?
At the e-library. It's down the e-street at the e-plaza. Be careful not to get e-mugged.
The show aired for almost 40 years so far, but the question remains unanswered? Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Take the A train.
How much is a ticket?
A piece of string.
Is it bad if my one purpose in life is to explode, of course?
TERRORIST! REPORTED!
should we raise the alert level to a slightly-off lavender?
I'd be more inclined to declare it a more mauvey shade of pinky-russet.
Is there any problem with leaving my bike rack on my car for the next two seasons?
shouldn't be
i'm hungry, where should i go for food?
Rei's.
How do I develop telepathic powers?
You must construct additional pylons.
How do we get Rei's to serve us?
You have to spawn more overlords.
What would be on the menu?
zergrush kekeke served with mashed terran on the side
if a+b=c and c=u what is the value of t?
I don't know, but C*U=P.
So, have you stopped beating your wife?
Yes. After giving her two black eyes, I think she understands my point of view now.
If Korea eat cat and China eat dog, what does Mongolia eat?
Russians.
If time is a cube, why does it only have four sides?
Because a cube has four sides.
Why did I press the release emergency mittens button?
Because you're the kind of flaming moron who thinks a cube has four sides.
Why is >>380 such a flaming moron?
because she's hot and stupid
Does italians write in italics?
because she's hot and stupid
Does italians write in italics?
because she's hot and stupid
Who wants some fucking cookies?
I'd rather have weed brownies.
What's the first concern of a rev-olution yeah yeah?
You gotta burn with the fever of a retribution yeah yeah.
I'm selling the illusion, creating your confusion, but who is the creator?
Why, me of course.
How old is the panda meme in the insult threads, exactly?
Too old.
How do we kill that panda meme?
Firebombs. Lots of firebombs.
Why is she such a slut?
Because you fucking fanboys want her that way.
Isn't it sad Sacchin? ;_;
Because she's your mom.
Is that the oldest meme ever?
No, "hello my future girlfriend" is older.
Is this loli?
No, this is Patrick.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? I mean, seriously.
Any sea dweller that wishes to have a well-protected home with minimal allergic reactions would live in a pineapple under the sea.
What is the greatest beer in the world?
>>396
Not Heineken, to state the obvious. Shitty beers like that one should be illegal to sell.
Where did that panda meme originate from?
A panda.
Bacon?
Push butan.
Looks peachy, doesn't it?
Tastes peachy too, as peaches are wont to do.
Why can't I stop obsessing about David Tennant in drag? I'm not gay, damnit, nor am I into shemales.
Because you're a straight female.
Why does everyone hate on poor Tom Bombadil?
His boots are too yellow?
Mamamamamama...?
>>402
Just killed a mananan.
Put a gun against his headeadead.
Pulled my trigger,now hes deadeadead.
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
It's both.
WHERE IS YOUR MATRIX NOW, MR ANDERSON?
Located at 3138 Fillmore Street, but closed in 1972.
One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small.
What do the ones that mother gives you do?
They make my voice sound squeaky and these things grow on my chest. Looks like mommy wanted a girl after all.
Why did daddy have to kill himself?
It was probably something you did.
Could God make a burrito so hot he could not eat it?
Yes. Don't ask how, it's just the nature of omnipotence.
Is belief in God an outdated coping mechanism of human evolution?
It's a control mechanism. You can't control someone who believes in himself or in Nature, but you can control a group who believes in an invisible, external, centralized power force. Now say you speak for the power force and you have an army of fanatics under your control.
Do you love Nature?
>>409
Frequently...
What's the ideal religion to create for the purpose of acquiring mindless minion-drones?
Fascism demands you go out and conquer, losing many valuable minions in the process.
Why didn't anyone build a bigger battleship than the Yamato in WW2?
A CONSPIRACY. o.o
Why do torrents suck so much?
You're not uploading enough. There's a tit-for-tat algorithm.
What does the "tit" mean? What about "tat"?
Everyone knows what tit means, and tat's that.
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Sheep, pigs in threes, bored shepards, and little girls dressed in red.
Odin isn't so fond of him either.
Will the Beowulf film be suitably epic?
Only if there are clusters.
What do said clusters do in soviet russia?
Assemble YOU!!
Where has the real Soviet Russia#deadjew of 4chan fame gone?
In a secret Thai detox monastery.
Does Squeeks get to carry his hat on board the airplane?
It's about as liquid as blackberry jam, which was taken off me at the airport last time, so I would say no.
Do people still play Everquest I?
Only the real, true HARDCORE ELITE. All the new stuff is for n00bz, and my asshole mom wont buy me a new computer anyway, the bitch.
I know that Firiona Vie is my soulmate, but no one understands our love. Do you think she will be my girlfriend?
DEFINATELY NOT =D
Why are there holes in my walls?
Because you have an anger management issue.
Why are posts more fun to read if you don't know the person who wrote them?
Because you can attribute all sorts of personal problems to them, without fear of retribution. Incidentally, you like to peek on nude beaches.
Will there ever be a new Indiana Jones movie?
Yes, starring Harrison Ford in a wheelchair as a grayhaired, MGS-inspired Indy.
Werewolf toolbox hack?
No.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DON'T I MISS YOU A LOT FOREVERRRRRRRR?
Because you're not a cat.
Help?
Help is a word used to indicate distress or the need for assistance. For example, one may shout "Help!" to a passerby if being robbed by a thief. Person-to-person help can come in a variety of forms; monetary assistance in the form of grants or loans, or scholarships is considered a way to help a person get on their feet in the world, people can lend emotional help in times of depression, educational help, and physical help to those in need of such assistance. For example, the elderly and young are frequent recipients of help. Often in sports people may call out for "Help" signaling that they need assistance from one of their team mates. Help is often associated with SOS, the international Morse code distress signal. It consists of three dots, three dashes, and three dots:
· · · ― ― ― · · ·This is the same as for the letters S, O and S, except that it is sent as one single letter - that is, with the inter-letter spaces converted to inter-element spaces.
When wil Grandpa die?
"NEVARRr" and "Already gone". Guess why he sometimes gets a craving for brains.
Where did my pants go? Why?
To Mexico, bitches. They wanted to do the Moot.
Do Japanese people sometimes wonder why Donald Duck doesn't wear a pleated skirt with his sailor suit?
111
why won't you touch my pee pee?
Because you touch yourself at night, you dirty man-slut.
Where do we go for lunch?
Milliways.
What would Douglas Adams be writing if he were alive today?
Yet another article about how much Macs rule.
What would be the ultimate Towel Day towel?
A replica of Ford's nutrient-soaked towel with wires etc inside.
Whoops, forgot my question.
Where is Sarah Connor?
It would be extremely fluffy and absorbing, yet stylish enough to wear as a scarf at the funeral of a beloved revolutionary leader of banana republica (not a dictator, no.)
how can I emancipate my orgasm?
They're not silly, they're cute!
why did >>440 not answer the question above him? and what is the answer to that?
He was a slowpoke, only unlike his role model he will never evolve. Sarah Connor is in my pants, if you know what I mean. And I think you do!
How come there's no outernet?
There is, it's just past the extranet.
Why do I want bulletproof armor?
>>444
Because you don't buttsechs yourself often enough, lately. And eat too much cheese.
Is there a place ones and zeros go after they die?
They go to binary hell, which is located in your abortion of a post.
If Jack Thompson succeeds in banning violent video games and rap music, would it really be a loss if we couldn't play 50 Cent: Bulletproof?
No.
Why can't we toss 50 Cent and Jack Thompson into a Thunderdome cage? Two men enter, one man leaves.
Because it would be far better to toss both into a place where two man enter, nothing leaves.
Why doesn't watching anime ever get old for me?
You have short-term memory loss and keep watching the pilot episode of Speed Racer episode over and over again.
Also, you're homosexual.
Why doesn't Jack Thompson fight to ban that crap for plaguing our youth with Epilepsy, ADHD and Stupid?
Because he's an asshat who was touched on his pee-pee place by a video game at a young age.
Why is gluing captions to cats such a fun hobby?
Because we no longer have access to purchasing D engines from Estes.
What is the future of model rocketry?
It's in my pants, bay-bee.
Will I ever get cured of my lolicon?
Once you grow up and learn to no longer find the traits you associate with lolis attractive - yes.
Where can you get the best banana daiquiri?
In a New York cocktail bar whose name escapes me at the moment.
Is there any anime fan who doesn't enjoy Lucky Star? If so, how shall we go about curing them of their delusion?
They should be smacked in the back of the head with a wooden cane.
When will China stop being a shitty place?
When this country opens up its asshole.
How many votes is Kouichi Toyama going to get in the upcoming Tokyo Governor election?
A record landslide of 100% of all ballots counted.
However only two voters will show up to fill out a ballot, and one of them will be disqualified for being a giant chicken.
When Kouichi Toyama wins the election, will his office first mandate shaved and polished heads for all citizens, or some other less important law?
He will probably just crack down on adult comic book artists.
How will the adult comic book artists fight back?
By switching to original non-adult manga, which will be made into wildly popular anime in which the original mangaka are brutally mocked. Like Koshi Rikdo, with Excel Saga.
What ever happened to Koshi Rikdo, anyway?
He caught terminal bonitis, and, well, terminated.
How come bonobos get to have hot lesbian monkey sexxors, but I can't ever land a woman?
Because you're not a bonobo.
It seems so awful that chimpanzees eat monkeys. Why?
Look deep inside your soul. The answer is there somewhere.
Do YOU believe?
No.
Do YOU?
>>464
All sorts of things. Mainly that we're just fictional elements of your imagination.
What is "gar"?
We believe.
Are there any MMOGs that do not crack down on free fan-run servers?
10bux, payable to Lowtax.
When will the sequel to Avenue Q hit Broadway?
October 1.
Incidentally, what day is it?
September 5020. A day which will live in infamy.
Now that I've finally gotten out of prison, how can I possibly reclaim my masculinity?
Rape a pro wrestler.
Will I ever stop having to construct additional pylons?
Not until you slay every last Sleestak.
Were you as hot for Holly as I was?
Holly as in the Red Dwarf computer? Oh yeah. Totally.
Why do so many guys get off to porn that ends with the guy fapping onto the girl's face?
Because herpes of the eye is hawt.
I don't have a question, what should I ask?
How about ...
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the Usenet Oracle didn't ZOT me before finishing this question?
Dunno....
Orry, what's that smoking pile of zotted gristle doing over here?
O RLY? I see no gristle.
Why do you see gristle? There's no gristle, so why do you see it?
IT'S IN MY EYES ARGH ARGH ARGH
How do I remove it?
With angry, angry bees.
What's the best non-DQN meme?
The only meme that wasn't created by DQN and later taken by other websites is TYPING IN ALL CAPS, WHICH WAS INVENTED BY AN ANGRY TEEN WHO LOVED HIS CAPS LOCK. SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL IS THE BEST NON-DQN MEME, MOSTLY BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY ONE.
Do you say oppai like "oh-pie" or "up-pie"?
I say it like "おっぱい", but I'm a weeaboo.
Will there ever be a Hollywood adaptation of Densha Otoko? Who would be cast for the main roles?
Dwayne The Rock Johnson as Densha (all that fanatical D&D playing as a teen payed off), and Paris Hilton as Hermes.
Do you now see why we must prevent Hollywood from ever making an adaptation of the story?
Yes, it has been made as apparent to me as the sun.
Are there any good strategy games with a large political element to them?
It seems to me that you're looking for Diplomacy. It's over on the second bookshelf in the back.
While you're here, do you need any ten-siders?
No, but I do require a 13-sided non-Euclidean die if you can provide me with one. Got a Cthulhu game this Saturday, you know.
Do you want to be eaten first?
Because they're all amateurs. I sneer at them. SNEER, I say!!
Where outside Japan can I get me some Sata Andagi? The batch I had in Kyushu were delicious, I must have more!
There is this place called "Domo Japanese Steakhouse" maybe you should try it.
what was the greatest computer hack in history?
The one where I took an axe to my college VAX.
Is the Cat Macros song at http://www.thefump.com/lyrics.php?id=85 win or what?
It's what.
What's that on your head?
Why, I'm glad you asked. It's my new and improved thinking cap!
What should I invent next?
Sex robots. Get to it.
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
They smell the toilet paper.
What is the best book to have in eBook format?
House of Leaves.
Why doesn't it exist?
Everybody decided to leave the house, so without an observer it lies in a quantum state.
Tree, Woods, Hear?
I hear the maples cried "oppresion", no word back from the oaks at this point, however.
Um, whatever happened to Elijah Woods, anyway?
Eaten by James Woods.
What exactly is the trouble in the forest, the unrest in the trees?
Woodpeckerses. Us treeses, we hates them fuckerses.
How do I cut down the mightiest tree in these woods with a herring?
You must construct additional shrubberies.
Where can I find a shrubber?
If you shout NI to an old woman enough times, she will tell you where the shrubber is.
How many DQN memes can be compressed into one phrase?
Sorry we just ran out of too much gay magic for one hand, because it's winter and it carries out and is w
Anyone want to do it better?
Its right here in my pants.
Where can I find true happiness?
Its right there in your pants.
Where can I find true cat penis?
On a true cat.
Where can I find true love?
A big, thick, firm... banana. Plenty of potassium.
What should I do today instead of studying for exams?
Post in the insult thread.
Where is my stapler?
Between the baby and the chicken.
Waddya call a guy with a shovel through his head?
Cheval Pelle.
Lost you, didn't I?
Sure did! I expected you to say "Doug."
Should I chop the hot peppers into the tomato sauce, or should I fry them up with the onions and put them through the food mill first?
Chop them into the sauce.
Should I study for my (ooh!) Black Politics exam or write my Eastern European Dictatorial Regimes final paper?
That depends on which one is a higher percentage of your final grade. On the whole, you should probably knock out the paper, and study when you get bored.
Have you considered changing PolSci to a minor and getting a hard science degree instead, so you don't wind up like me?
No, I majored in Broadway history to be the gayest, most magical DQN.
If art snobs had to survive in the woods for months until they were found by rescurers, how would they do it without practical knowledge?
Ever seen a movie called Alive? It would be like that, but instead of a rugby team eating their dead to stay alive, they wouldn't. Actually, It would be more like The Blair Witch Project.
Would you like some Turkey Jerky?
I would -adore- some Turkey Jerky, although sweet 'n' spicy beef jerky is preferable.
Do otaku actually enjoy looking at a girl in pants that could house a hobo encampment, a poorly styled wig, and cat ears?
looking at a girl in pants? hell no.
why can't i stay away from dqn? i've tried to quit coming here several times but i always end up coming back...
You thought it was over, but the jones kicked in.
Why hasn't Howard Chaykin's "Black Kiss" been turned into a movie yet?
Too much sex; not enough car chases and pistol duels.
Why hasn't DQN been turned into a movie yet?
I think it has.
How do you explain Gay Niggers From Outer Space otherwise?
Somebody felt like combining as many random ideas tnto one film.
Would a sensitive mathmatician get a heart attack after hearing about the number of clones of Lentilla?
Any mathematician would tell you clones do not exist. At any rate, as long as the hypothetical number remains defined in the real domain, they wouldn't blink an eye if it was anything between negative infinity and positive infinity.
Why do I always get the urge to divide by zero?
because things tend to break when that happens. and thats pretty kickass.
Why?
zero is signless i.e. it is neither positive or negative. Actually it is both. So when dividing by something infinitely small, the answer is both positive and negative infinity at the same time. That is not defined yet, so it doesn't work. kickass.
could you please call my cell? I want to hear my new ringtone.
okay.
what should i set my phone's default tone to: haruhi or lucky star?
All Alone for Christmas (as usual)
Which recording?
Parked mix.
Mi-mi-miracle Mikurun-run?
No.
YOU WA SHOCK?
The good kind.
Who rocks harder, Dragonforce or Tiny Tim?
Avril Lavigne.
What is obvious troll?
Obvious, I believe.
Where can I get free Weight Watchers Points calculator software? I know it must be out there somewhere ...
In my pants. Meet me at MSN, bring champaign and a pair of handcuffs.
What's the best magical trick evar?
Making my wiener disappear, requiring nothing but a fair maiden with spread legs.
Why is Para Para the ultimate form of music that rules above all?
because Weeaboos think it is cool that you can flap your hands around like an idiot while listening to the equivelent of american happy hardcore.
Why is Japan superior?
Marriage is never a good idea, as the woman tends to give up doing things that impress her man.
When will people stop renaming "family values" into bigoted bullshit?
Some day, maybe.
What are '"family values"', except for that Addams movie? o_O;;
A bunch of nu-metal bands on tour.
Why don't real men eat quiche?
Because it's too eggy. Real men subsist on an exclusive diet of T-bone steaks and the lamentations of their dead enemies' women.
What was the best thing before sliced bread was invented?
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Mittens!
Who invented sliced bread, anyway?
The ancient Greeks, who also invented toast.
But who invented mittens?
The Bavarian Illumittani.
Where is Bavaria, anyway? My sources tell me it's somewhere near Germany...
Bavaria is part of Germany.
Why is the sky? No typo. Why is it?
Because the little yellow smurfs.
Why did a perfectly ordinary reboot shoot my partition table to hell this morning?
Because you failed to avoid the incoming game, Bob.
Is there any chance that Mainframe will get off their collective asses and come up with a new season for Reboot?
About as much as your mom winning the 347th Official Hell Ice Skating Championship.
Why do those chaps in the insult thread not appreciate long drawn-out sentences?
It wouldn't be VIP quality if we did that.
Or would it?
Well, that's the crux of the biscuit, as my mammy always said. Is DQN really about the attitude of the response, or the actual crappiness of the response? Some people would like to have it BOTH ways, and they generally get flooded out. It's a damned shame, honestly.
Well, that being said, what is DQN really all about?
Its all about me, but no one realizes it, nor will they ever believe it.
Come to think of it, why can't I shoot Chi from my fingertips like a laser?
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Mittens!
((/ デ.ㄟ) The eternal blackness of my soul.
(・∀・) Solving the question above us!
( ´ω`) Dur dang kids getting off my lawn!
-‐‐- 、
／ ヽ
! ! 人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 乂-‐ −! i Sorry, we're all out of things we're really all about.
＼ヽ .ゞ - ﾉノ
｀｀フ i´
/ ＼ﾉゝ
/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
== THE REI'S ANSWER ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Why don't people use the established DQN characters in their responses a bit more? Not excessively, mind you.
>>551
Because neither are your fingertips black, nor do they have googly eyes and an oversized gaping red mouth.
>>552
Because all that kopipe makes you a slowpoke.
Does the Simulation Argument (http://www.simulation-argument.com/) convince you, DQN? Are we living in a simulation?
What? Do you mean you didn't know?
No, really. How didn't you know?
I was not cleared for that information.
Now that I have obtained it, where should I go to be terminated with extreme prejudice by Our Friend Computer?
Nowhere. This time, you only get a warning. The third time, however...
How can I get a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spurtle without going all the way to Scotland to buy one?
Why, at Spurtle City! A giant warehouse of spurtles for every occasion!
If a spatula and a spurtle had to fight to the death, which would emerge victorious?
Careful testing by putting a spurtle and a spatula to fight to the death against each other revealed that the winner is the spurtle. As the less fragile implement, it won by keeping its structural integrity fairly intact, while as the spatula's flat surface got shattered in a single, strong swing against the spurtle. I'd upload some photos of the fight, if I would've had a camera to document it with.
Coffee, yay or nay, and why?
Yay, because it makes me feel less tired.
When will I be able to grow a beard long enough to braid into my chest hair?
NEVAR!
Your chemotherapy will permanently damage your hair follicles, everywhere on your body. You will be known as Iktar, the hairless man-ape, and we shall put you in a cage, poke you with a stick, and laugh at you and all the other silly hu-mans.
In what direction is Orion? We have some unfinished business there.
Second star to the left, and on 'til morning.
Who can wear a tutu in a manly way?
Screw celebs, check this guy out: http://triracers.com/TuTuCrossing.jpg
wtf at http://www.auroradancewear.co.uk/acatalog/Boys_Tutu.html
What >>562 asked.
Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel. Everything they wear is instantly infused with a brilliant aura of manliness.
How do porcupines mate?
Very carefully.
On a related note, can a hedgehog be buggered if you shave it first?
No, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
And what was it that's normally on the end of a wizard's staff?
A charred victim.
Why do I get so many BSODs lately? I thought Windows XP was supposed to be moderately stable.
Your hardware is crap.
Why are you running Windows XP in the first place?
Because Vista is crap, and so are all the other Windows, but I want to play games and can't get Wine to run on my Ubuntu installation.
Why is Harry Potter so ridiculously overhyped?
Because something needs to be overheyped. I prefer overhype over a fairly entertaining novel than other bullshit. At least potheads are easier to deal with and tolerate that wapanese yaoi fan girls.
How can I write the above without sounding like a dork?
By phrasing it in the form of a Harry Potter yaoi fanfic. =^_________^= WAI!
KAWAII DESU NE?
nyo~
Whafjivoho hfojvip thpios?
Your keyboard would be less fucked up.
Is there any way I can rid myself of this pesky need for sleep?
Drink a bottle of bleach and you will never have to worry about sleep again.
Why do humans have 5 fingers on each hand? We hardly ever use the pinky, and naturally counting in octal would be more convenient for computer scientists.
>>574 honestly believes people don't use that finger all the time.
...err. I mean, because we developed from animals that was built that way, and most people actually do use that finger all the time. You just never think about it properly, because you use the tip itself of that finger less frequently than the whole finger itself.
Why is using lame, pathetic and silly insults in the insult thread addictive?
I don't know, but they sure make my heart sing.
Why are computer games addictive?
It's a combination of the glowing screen and the opportunity to press buttons.
Why don't computer games interest me anymore?
Because you stopped wanting to push buttons for the sake of pushing buttons. Get back to work, Jetson! Lazy scum.
What's the ultimate ascii/similar art?
.
(its minimalist)
How do I get in contact with myself?
Deposit 50 bux underneath the northernmost bench in your local park. You will then contact yourself for further instructions.
And here's the question: Why is AIDS such a hilarious thing?
Actually, it's not hilarious at all. You're just horribly immature and will laugh at anything.
Shouldn't you be in school?
No, I'm homeschooled by my mom. She tells me to laugh at the AIDSfags who will surely burn in Hell.
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Cod will lead me to salivation.
What's the deal with Seinfeld?
There was no soup for him.
When will people stop believing in the big beards in the sky?
When they notice the shit on the ground.
Why is comedy based solely around enjoying other people's pain?
Because humans are evil.
How do we purge this evil from ourselves?
Whips, chains, electric shocks and waterboarding.
How come people keep pointing fingers and staring at my codpiece? Doesn't anyone have a sense of fashion anymore?
Nobody born past 1980 has a sense of fashion. They were declared illegal in November 1979.
Who is the best Science Fiction author in the world ever?
Isaac Asimov of course.
What are the three laws of robotics?
1) fellatio is better than regular, unless you are robotized real-doll.
2) spare parts can be ethically used only if they're not installed onto another robot already.
3) when taking robot exam, all mobile transmitters must be shut off and graphic calculator may not have executable programs on it. Write with black or blue ballpoint only.
That's actually just a guess, reasoned from a particular frame of reference. Do you know the real three laws?
Yes I do.
Who are the brain police?
The swibbles. Beware of them.
What can I ask for at Rei's that I'll actually get?
Try asking for a snarky answer.
What's the difference between Shorinji Kempo and Shaolin Kung Fu?
The tasty side dishes that are served at mealtimes.
Who are 'they'?
The way they're statistically right 50% of the time.
Why did they make a Scarface videogame now as opposed to when the movie was new?
Because you wouldn't have been able to tell who was who on Arati's 8 bit glory.
Are we there yet?
Because when the movie was new, videogames were seen as a child's toy, and no one would make a child's toy based on Scarface.
Why can't I sleep before 4am anymore?
Our ancestors would have fallen out of trees a lot more thanks to reduced grip, so the major world religions would probably denounce gravity as being the work of evil.
Why are manga so ridiculously cheap in Japan?
Because luxuries are expensive.
How do I get these CRANBERRY JUICE STAINS out of my AFGHAN RUG?
Bleed on them, then wash the blood out with cold water. (Disclaimer: No idea if it works, it has worked on other carpet stains for me though)
When will be the next Death of 4chan?
There are already numerous cancers that are killing /b/, so I guess it's not much longer.
Iiichan, best imageboard collection or bestest image board collection?
Wakachan is Superior.
Why can't I edit the entry about us on Dramatica?
Because you suck, and they hate you also.
Why are the mittens red and not purple?
Because purple is a highly unnatural colour, and red symbolises love.
When will someone upload Sam Harris's The End Of Faith to Bookchan?
When the copyright expires.
What color does a smurf turn when it has no oxygen?
Magenta.
Why?
No idea.
What the hell is active oxygen?
It's oxygen that doesn't just sit on its ass in front of a computer all day, eating crap while its ass expands. It gets OUT and accomplishes something, young man!
What's a good mental exercise to generate a sense of ambition?
Repeating "you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it" 1000 times, despite the fact that it is a busted myth.
Will people quit dividing by zero, only to attempt to calculate the square root of negative numbers?
i
Is Squeeks still in London?
No, he moves around daily to escape the agents of the Elitist Superstructure's affiliates. His current location is an otherwise uninhabited island somewhere between Okinawa and Hawaii.
Why are there so few good adventure games out lately? The only recent ones I've liked were Runaway 2 and Sam'n'Max.
Because great plots end up being bought by vaporware corporations.
Will wire frame graphics ever be cool again?
Of course, once retro-gaming reaches that point, so give it another ten years or so.
I need to contrast libertarianism vs utilitarianism, focussing on justice and economic distribution. How on earth am I gonna write 4500 words about that???
First, come up with a blinding, opinionated generalization about the subject, turn it into something that remotely resembles a thesis, and proceed to ramble on for a few hundred paragraphs citing nonsensical evidence to prove your illogical points. Make sure to have a conclusion with a witty quote by some famous person.
What grade will >>618 get?
DQN!
what should i have for breakfast?
Ten McRib burgers.
How many more burgers do I need to eat until my liver fails or my arteries clog up?
Doesn't matter, you're going to die in two weeks.
Is it lupus, doctor?
It's never lupus.
How many more seasons will ER run for?
5038
will you be sent to ER or a GP if you contracted a DQN?
IC, after one hour due to brainshock
I have a girl neighbour who could lose some weight and then I'd do her. How to go about it?
Cut off both her legs and rape her.
Why is DJ SHARPNEL fun to listen to and LOLI RIPE isn't?
obviously you're a retard.... both are hideous.
Is prostitution legal in your country?
Legal? Hell, they're unionized.
Why is Harvest Moon so much fun?
Because you're a born farmer. Go till some fuckin' soil, hayseed.
How do I correct against gradual buttock drift?
Move to a faster-drifting continent.
Should I spend five years studying Geophysics?
Yep. Great plan. What a suckers.
Yes Mth'kly?
.
?
!
‽
No.
If babies come from storks, why don't we all have beaks?
Storks are only employed in the shipping department, not assembly/production.
You push button ... but receive no bacon. What happens next?
A ninja drops down from the ceiling and cuts you to pieces.
How do I learned Gun-Kata?
What would happen if the vogons tried to copy the underpants gnome business plan?
They'd find that an enterprising tribe of gnomes in the area of the former Soviet Georgia had already combined poetry with underpants acquisition.
When fucking the system, should one use a condom?
Only if you're not planning on systematic impregnation.
Balsamic vinegar?
Excellent with Strawberries, really.
And stop hitting the Lucky Star so hard.
How are you going to celebrate next year's Towel Day?
By hanging myself with a towel and leaving 42 suicide notes scattered around town.
Does orgone energy really exist?
Yes, but it's all gone.
I bought a watch a couple months ago and the battery is dead. Did I get screwed?
No, the watch did.
Will playing Chess make me more attractive to the ladies?
only if you use your wang as a chess piece.
how much penis shrinkage do the scientists of Antarctica get?
Enough to turn their manhoods into miniature black holes. They had to spend millions of dollars of research grants to come up with a way of shielding the rest of the Earth from their wangs' gravitational pull.
Question: What do eunuchs do in their spare time, being unable to fap?
They watch American Wrestling
How on earth could you forget to ask a question after answering?
Short term memory loss resulting from chronic dementia stemming from neurosyphilis enabled by an immune system compromised by HIV contracted from dumpster diving in medical waste.
Do you kn
no I don't.
A public place has a men's room and a women's room. Where does the hermaphrodite go?
This is actually the reason why hermaphrodites do not exist: They die from exhaustion for never finding a suitable restroom.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't know, you creep. You don't belong here anyway.
What is the Meaning of Fife?
(Barney Fife)
Fourty-Fwo.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
why is debian so incredibly sexy?
to draw attention away from >>652.
why wont my helmet fit anymore?
Helmut swapped his with yours, because he's got a nasty case of hydrocephalus. Don't worry though, now you've got a cool spike like grandpa used to back in the Great War.
How was the Great War anyway, grandpa?
Dont call me grandpa, kid! I aint that old! Anyhow, the war sucked and wasn't great at all. Glad its over now.
Will the third world war be fought out in space?
No, it was fought below ground. You never realised it had started until it was already long over.
What doesn't Nazi science sneer at?
A moon that's made entirely out of water ice. Because it's white, you see.
What doesn't mad science embrace with gusto?
Science, scientific method, the scientific community, ethics, and hairbrushes.
What does Alien science learn by probing rural yokels?
It's like picking flowers, except it's DNA. Good DNA fetches a high price on the galactic market, I'm told.
Where are all the blue roses?
I ate them.
Where are all the orange roses?
I cornered the makret, then ate them.
Where are all the plaid roses?
The Scots turned all of them into kilts.
Where are all the spotted tulip bulbs?
The Americans turned them all into cartoon underpants.
Why are there so many patterned flowers being wiped out these days?
Because people are mean poopyheads.
How does an android get drunk?
In binary.
Will there ever be a Genshiken musical?
Yes but Timbaland will sample the whole thing for a #1 hit hip hop song and steal all the credit.
Do freshly dead people bruise?
I think so, but it's probably best to find out for yourself.
What's the native resolution of the human eye?
Yes, you will win a free iPod.
Should I go outside today?
Yes, you will win a free iPod.
Why do people think Jesus was Christian?*
*he's Jewish.
Because Christians are idiots.
When will Scott Adams's predicted Religion War start?
On the next episode of Lost.
Why doesn't my local grocery store supply Hi-C's Crazy Citrus Cooler anymore?
There's a betting pool running on how long you'll be able to survive without it.
Why did I just buy 32 copies of the Japanese translation of The Sorrows of Young Werther?
So you could sell 31 copies to some other loser who will then question his purchase.
Why?
Why not?
Why did I just buy 31 copies of the Japanese translation of The Sorrows of Young Werther?
Because people still go to watch them.
Is there anything the world needs more than a sixth season of Sailor Moon with the enemies being complete and utter moeblobs?
Yes, the world needs more pollution.
Remember when /b/ was good?
/b/ was never good.
Well, I've done the complete Carmina Burana, several anime soundtracks, DJ SHARPNEL, and Para Para Max. What should I have blasting out of my 600W car speakers at full volume with the windows down next?
Everything Hideki Naganuma: Jet Set Radio, JSRF, Ollie King, and Sonic Rush.
Should I join the Church of Scientology?
Yes, you will win a free iPod.
Now that news of Xenu are widely publicised, have Scientology joinee numbers dropped significantly?
You're not cleared for that knowledge.
Now that July 5th has come and gone many times, have any Sub-Genii demanded their money back from "Bob", or is X-day so much fun they'll keep practicing until they get it right?
All the dissatisfied SubGenii are now devout followers of Our Lady of Discord.
What's the exchange rate for 5 tons of flax these days?
6 tons of flax.
Who will you vote for? Hilary or Obama?
Stephen Colbert, as a write-in candidate.
Who will win? Colbert or Jon Stewart?
Carell.
What does he win?
Another beer!
Why hasn't the US just bombed the shit out of everything yet?
>>689
No, haven't you been paying attention to the importation of imported food additives?
>>690
Using bombs could get messy, and the University of Saskatchewan is not equipped with efficient enough shit-extraction technology.
What is a better name for a city, Regina (Saskatchewan), or Fucking (Austria)?
The latter, obviously. Anyway, Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old.
What should I do after I've marked all the Nishitetsu train lines on Google Earth?
Solve my question.
What is DQN's one weakness?
The fact that nobody in the insult thread EVER insults the poster above him.
However, how is this exploitable?
大熊貓.
But, who would want to destroy the Elite Superstructure?
Those who find the connotations of affiliation distasteful.
How shall we ever stop these scoundrels?
Gay magic.
Where can we enhance our gay magic?
-‐‐- 、
／ ヽ
! ! 人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 乂-‐ −! i Not here. We're all out of enhancements
＼ヽ .ゞ - ﾉノ for gay magic.
｀｀フ i´
/ ＼ﾉゝ
/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
== THE REI'S DINER ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Why is my diner always out of everything?
Because Marty keeps robbing your supply trucks.
Is there a better band than Tenacious D?
Wardriver.. Because he made a song about Tanasinn.
When will new computers be built with a minimum of 8 terrabytes of ram?
October
Was the internet really made for porn?
No, but that's what it was later modified to be best suited for.
What would life be like if Lord Havelock Vetinari from the Discworld novel series were to become either Prime Minister of the UK or President of the United States of America?
The trains would run on time, the economy would skyrocket, and the war in Iraq would be over. Oh, and he'd know everything about everyone.
Oops, forgot a question:
What's the best book you read lately?
Simon Haynes - Hal Spacejock.
What would happen to Ankh-Morpork if the Patrician disappeared to rule the UK or the US?
Carrot would be crowned king within a week.
Best. Band. Ever?
DragonForce. Why ask? You all knew the answer.
How should I freak out the next telemarketer calling me? I've already done the "conspiracy theorist" shtick several times, and the novelty is starting to wear off.
Ask them politely but firmly to wait a few minutes, then put them on hold and never pick it back up.
How much phlegm would Errol Flynn fling, if Errol Flynn could fling phlegm?
He's still in the intricate process of doing so and as such the quantity is immeasurable.
I can't dispute the logic of that.
Why did >>709 fail to ask a question?
Because he realised what an abject failure at life he was right after typing his answer, and could only hit Reply before bursting into tears.
Which is the funniest Eddie Izzard CD?
none, they all suck.
why do I constantly feel the need to jack off, is some one using mind control on me?
It's the pheromones of all the teenagers fresh out of school.
Why all the talk about music?
Because we're bored.
Can you suggest a better subject?
No, I was just curious.
Was it a bad question?
Yes, it's hard to come up with interesting answers to dull questions.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
No, because I have two left feet.
How come it seems I am the only person who has never read a Dune book?
Because you don't live next to me. I also have never read any Dune.
What should I do with the complimentary map of Akihabara I got from the maid-costumed guide in front of Gamers during my last trip to Tokyo?
Set it aflame, along with all other relics of your weeaboo lifestyle. Then become an accountant and take up numatism.
By what method should I kill myself, and at what time and place?
Setting yourself aflame on a pyre of all relics of your weeaboo lifestyle. It beats becoming an accountant and working yourself to death.
Where outside Akiba can I get a girl in a maid costume to give me a foot massage?
Maid costumes and foot massages are forbidden on Akiba Hebrew Academy's grounds.
However, YHWH approves highly of male4male foot baths, for weary travelers.
Now, where did I leave my Yarmulke?
It's underneath your Dreidel.
Has anyone played the d20 Slayers RPG, or is it just collecting dust on store shelves?
If they give a free iPod with it it may sell.
Will you buy Manhunt 2?
I might warez it, but only if they port it to the old x-box.
What does it mean if my spirit animal is a woodchuck?
It means your only possible career options involve a degree in poli-sci or business.
Why won't these weeaboos hurry up on the Mother 1 + 2 or Mother 3 translations?
Because they're too busy translating yaoi harem manga.
Where can I find a good Sonic the Hedgehog forum?
Meditate on this question in a public place, loudly chanting the mantra OWA TAFU LAH YEM until the answer comes to you.
What is the greatest movie that ever was?
Cinema achieved it's peak at the release of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.
What is the greatest Sonic the Hedgehog forum that ever was?
7chan /fur/.
Which is better to see live, I've or Halko Momoi?
The latter, because her first name is Finnish for a log of wood. The kind you'd chop up and burn in a fireplace.
What happens when you cross the streams?
Total protonic reversal, if memory serves me right.
Why is this a bad thing?
It could cause all the atoms in your body to explode.
How do I get ectoplasm out of my favourite panties?
Snort it.
Why did I forget my question?
Your head could not discriminate between your brains and the ectoplasms you snorted from panties - and accidentally got rid of the former substance.
By the way, why did John Rawls have to be such a difficult writer?
Purely to spite you.
Why don't you read some Joyce instead?
My dear, I believe it is you.
Will someone fix >>737's little problems?
The free world's top scientists are working on harnessing those gaseous vapors to use as a renewable fuel source.
We've gone long enough without an answer; Where, exactly, is the beef?
In my pants.
Who wants to know?
A toothless, white-haired 105 year-old jewish woman. Please lower your trousers so she may engorge herself of this beef.
How much broccolis is too much broccolis?
One.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Woodchuck is just a misnomer for groundhogs. Sorry to disappoint you.
What was the answer >>742 was really after?
As much wood as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
How much more obvious can a jisaku jien be?
N+1, where N is the current level of obviousness.
Why do you hate freedom?
Because it kicked me in the shin two weeks ago. Hard.
Why can't I get my Dreamcast to work after it's been collecting dust for 3 years?
Liberated from the tyranny of a rigid and unfractured Tibia.
Why do we have to die?
Because you have displeased me.
Why did my piggy bank fall off the table and break before I managed to put my first quarter in?
That was not a piggy bank, it was the newborn baby.
Also, that was not a quarter, it was a dime.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
You've blown up your head.
How do I kill the mosquitos in my room? Mind bullets have proven ineffective so far.
I know a guy who pinned a fly to his desk with a safety pin, once. Might try that.
So, is Ruby the Next Big Thing, or a passing fad?
Ruby who?
The ruby that answers questions with statements.
Which Ruby is that?
The black one.
Should I snort Ruby, or rail it?
That made no sense to me at all. Besides, I like Ruby please dont snort.
Why was >>755 so goddamn boring that nobody answered?
Because we all watch him touch himself at night.
Why are >>755's curtains in such bad taste?
Oh, leave him alone. This isn't the insult thread, you know.
What's the best way to prevent motion sickness when playing Myst 3: Exile?
LSD. taken regularly, you will no longer witness motionsickness as it becomes part of your life.
utilitarianism is dead, isn't it? Or is it just that deontological moralistic theories are so much better?
There is very little evidence to suggest Utilitarianism ever lived, let alone died, and deontoligical moralistic philosophies require less effort on the half of the believer, thus appealing to the physically and intellectually lazy.
How long is it until America (as we know it) collapses entirely, taking the entire world into another great depression?
The United States of America (as we knew it) collapsed in 1963, and was quickly replaced by the Conglomerated Territories of Oceania.
Is there any hope in the Proles, or are they too occupied with Paris Hilton?
The proles in America? Probably not - they're too pampered and they've been raised to be accustomed to being spoon-fed. Proles elsewhere? If you whip them up a bit, then certainly.
What task shall I accomplish for DQN?
Firstly, I'd like you to properly define DQN.
So, how would you define DQN?
I can comment that you are a Panda, and that comment should serve as an example of what DQN is, for lack of a definition.
Should we talk about the proles, or rather refer to the general populace?
By referring to proles, we exclude party loyalists and ideologues, who are cognitively impaired and can not be trusted. Also, cocks.
Who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree?
The willow tree.
What did you get for Christmas last year?
Money and an iPod.
Why do you hate America?
It killed my entire family and most of my friends. I joined the base and they gave me an AK47 to get revenge, it will be just like a Charles Bronson movie. Allahu Ackbar!
Why do you hate Azerbaijan?
They didn't get enough exposure to pandas as kids.
I think I'm a weeaboo. My ipod is full of Ayumi Hamasaki, the only DVDs I own are animated, I greet people with "ohayou~", I sign my name with katakana, and I haven't eaten anything with a fork in a month. What should I do?
Star in a Japanese hardcore adult film, where anything goes as long as genitals are censored.
What percentage of manga is not gay?
gay is culturally defined. we find manga gay, japanese do not. ergo japanese are totally gay and if you disagree you also are a rampant homosexual.
ground coffee beans or first flool coffee beans?
Loose-leaf tea.
How do I crack Sony's eBook DRM?
why don't you just buy hard copies?
Because I like to hack things because it makes up for other times in life when I had no power.
Is there a girl Goatse?
If Tubgirl doesn't count, I'm not sure there is.
Why do I like the Saint Seiya OP Pegasus Fantasy so much?
Also, >>774, YOU try carrying 20 hardcopy books in a pants pocket without even a significant bulge.
None whatsoever. This is DQN, after all.
Who put the RAM in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
horny sheepfucking hippies. noone would think of putting RAM into anything these days, its so outdated.
Is asia carrera the sexiest pornstar ever or what?
>>783 No. Too much makeup, silicone.
Where can I buy epoxy modeling putty cheap?
No need to buy, you can just milk it from Asia Carrera's boobs.
Why do so many people still believe in god(s) in this day and age?
Because of Asia Carrera, His most perfect and beautiful creation.
Is it true that "DQN" is Japanese for "J- J- JAM IT IN?"
120% true.
Why are you a panda?
Asia Carrera turned me into a panda. She said it was more DQN that way.
Is that really "120% true," or are you using hyperbole?
I don't know, I'm not >>787.
What do DQN want to be when they grow up?
Yes. It carried out and was W. And I gave it to Asia Carrera.
Did she like it?
She enjoyed the convenience of the carry out, but found the w to be a bit lacking.
What can we do to improve the w?
I don't know. We should ask Asia Carrera, as she is a Mensa member and therefore smarter than all of us.
Do you think Asia Carrera has the power of gay magic?
Nope.
How do I cure yellow fever?
They don't. You must have yellow fever.
Is Asia Carrera actually from Japan?
Etou
This is not an English word why did I say it?
Because you are hoping Asia Carrera will come over to your place and tell you all about her background.
Or is that really me?
No, that's the PCP talking.
WHAT HAPPEN?
SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BONG.
Was it Asia Carrera?
No such thing. You're just a megalomaniac panda, thinking everyone's fixated on you.
Why does Windows Vista suck such balls?
Microsoft ran out of cocks.
how do I shot web2.0?
I dunno, lol (Beta).
Why is there so little pornographic fanart of soap opera characters?
Soap Operas already are pornography, tailored for listless housewives.
What is the rest mass of a proton (in units of MeV/c^2)?
The proton has a mass in energy units of 938.256 MeV. I am not sure what you mean when you talk about dividing this by c squared. I asked Asia Carrera and she doesn't know either.
Should I ask a panda?
No, unless it is a gay panda with magical ability in his particular sphere of sexual conduct.
So tell me again, how do homosexuals breed? And no resorting to the staple answer this time.
Sporic meiosis.
Is it nobler in the mind to face the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?
one is not any more noble than the other.
If George Zimmer and Chuck Norris got into a fight, what woukd happen?
Chuck Norris would immediately present his anus for penetration, as he is a repressed homosexual. George Zimmer would tear him apart. I guarantee it.
How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
Chuck Norris would give George Zimmer a footjob by repeatedly roundhouse kicking Zimmer's huge penis.
Who's next in the Diesel-Norris line of succession?
Asia Carrera.
Did you suspect that was coming?
No, I was expecting a witty slowpoke comment.
I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister. What'll you take in trade?
A date with Asia Carrera.
Which is more powerful? The Can o' Whoopass, or The Smackdown?
Asia Carrera.
In a world without Asia Carrera's loveliness, what would be the point of living?
Sticking it in Asia Carrera's pooper.
Is there anyone who doesn't love her?
Yes, David Gest.
Which country has a higher rate of sheep violations: Scotland or New Zealand?
In proportion to number of people, or to number of sheep? Because Scotland would win on the first, and NZ on the second.
How many roads must I walk down before I can slay this Asia Carrera meme? What if they're roads made of Gay Magic?
If you don't want to stick it in Asia Carrera's pooper, the gay magic has already done its work on you.
Who's on first?
Correct.
What's on second?
Yep.
And I don't know, who's on third?
No, I don't know.
Why are there so few good AMVs?
Because, http://4-ch.net/hobby/kareha.pl/1177528490/1
Should I be letting my child play with asbestos?
i thought i read somewhere it can be dangerouse sometimes
Asbestos is rumored to be toxic, so probably not.
Do you think more Asia Carrera references could make this thread awesome again?
No, and nor does Asia Carrera.
What is the best erogame currently on the market?
Any that has Asia Carrera in it.
Who's cuter, Asia Carrera or Teh Rei?
Asia Carrera, because she's both a real human being, and not a stupid 4chan catchphrase.
Where can I get a good deal in a Christian atmosphere?
Its rumoured that Asia Carrera is also a christian, so if you find her community, you might find a good deal indeed.
Why are there so few torrents of movies with Asia Carrera in it? After all she made approximately 200 of them. Must be something to do with good persecution of copyright violators?
Asia Carrera personally crushes any man or woman between her sexy thighs if she catches them pirating any films she stars, makes a minor appearance, or is briefly mentioned in.
Does this intrigue you?
It is an exciting prospect for sure!
Does it involve foreplay?
No.
Is it better to pursue a hobby that is practical as opposed to one that is isn't albeit more enlightening? If that makes sense.
It doesn't.
Where the hell did you go with my toothbrush?
To the kitchen.
Exactly where is the underworld, and how does one leave it?
It's under the world... you leave by climbing up.
I just tried to watch Memento, but the DVD kept skipping around 3/4 of the way through. Am I missing anything good?
I havent seen the movie and I feel just fine, so no.
who is Nicolas Sarkozy?
He's some French politician who wants to stick it in Asia Carrera's pooper.
What the fuck was that, Elwood?
Elwood: Spanish for "the blood-engorged penis"
This is not an English word why did you say it?
Asia Carrera compelled me to with the power of Gay Magic.
If they ever make the long-rumored live-action film of Neon Genesis Evangelion, do you think she'd be appropriate to play Misato Katsuragi?
No. She's part chinese anyhow.
Where does the atmosphere begin?
Roughly about where the near-vacuum stops.
Why can't I post questions in a vacuum?
Because you don't follow the Elitist Superstructure's standard guidelines for question asking threads.
Do you have any more obvious questions?
I don't know, perhaps you should consult a wiki... moron.
Do two wrongs make a right?
No, but three lefts do.
Do you want two CDs?
No, I do not.
Why isn't sexual fetishism listed as a disorder in the DSM?
My 401K is doing the job quite nicely, thanks.
What is it about a grilled bacon-wrapped boneless chicken breast that's so damn delicious?
>>848
The way it's cooked and marinated and its piggy blanket combine to create a fusion of flavours akin to tasting the armpit of God himself.
What time is love?
Whenever Asia Carrera is near.
щ(`Д´щ) WHY would you make such a disgusting simile about tasting God's armpits? Ick.
I worship Asia Carrera, so sure, I'll take one.
Is it true that Asia Carrera is half American, half Japanese, and half German, just like Asuka Langley Soryuu?
I would wager that since three halves equals 50% more than a whole... no. Unless she happens to be tetragametic chimeric.
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Nah, she's just 150% awesome, like Asuka.
Carmen Sandiego is in San Diego, of course.
>:3 Holy shit, it's a lion! Should I get in the car?
No, you should go right back to 4chan.
None of us have any right to ever be unhappy, given our being born into generally white, middle-class families. Is this true?
It's complete bollocks. You might as well say that people born into black lower-class families do not have the right to ever be happy.
When will a massive wave of atheism sweep the planet?
If the Celestial Teapot crashes into the Sea of Cognitive Bias, an Atheist Tsunami will be a likely consequence.
Traci Lords: Gift or Curse?
Minor Goddess, or perhaps just Nymph. The position of Amaterasu Omikami has already been filled by Asia Carrera.
Who would win in a Texas chainsaw cage match battle to the death between Squeeks and Moot?
Given that moot fights like a little girl, and the handicap Squeeks suffers with his poop hat... the odds would be [1:0.999...] Squeeks over moot.
Who is the wisest man in all of Athens?
No.
Do you like being dismembered by an alligator while a disembodied hand smashes your face against an oak table?
Yes, very yes.
Do you like vomiting chicken intestines onto your significant other in exchange for a long night of playing Boggle?
The King of Boggle insists that it is impolite to regurgitate upon your host, even if he is the Japanese Prime Minister.
How do I find a church with Charles Nelson Reilly nailed to a cross?
His death a month ago may complicate matters. That said, you may wish to begin your search in Topeka, Kansas. Look up Phelps, Fred.
How do I find a synagogue with with Tony Danza chained to a large candelabrum?
The question is highly unethical, but can be solved by religious zeal and entrepreneurial fervor.
What kind of jobs could a student of economics hope to get?
Burger flipping, mostly. And then there's the wild, wild world of janitorial services.
Is there any band more awesome than DragonForce?
>>866 The existence of one will surely be snuffed out if Dragonforce plays the Transformers theme.
What made the 1980s so cool?
The 1980s weren't cool, because Asia Carrera wasn't making pr0n movies yet.
Do you fight for good, or for awesome?
I am a pacifist, so neither. But I will set up a bake sale and donate the proceeds to Awesome.
Which euphemism for masturbation is funnier: 'spank' or 'wank'?
Spank; the onomatopoeia is funnier.
How do I get my girlfriend to let my do anything remotely sexy with her?
Wine, lots of wine.
Alternatively: coercion
What is it like to hold a girl in your arms?
Very soft and sweet, although pressing the chloroform rag against her face until she stops struggling can sometimes ruin the romantic experience.
Is a permanently long-distance relationship better than no girlfriend at all?
>>872: or not, there are people who have a fetish for such things.
Only if the long-distance relationship is with Asia Carrera, chloroform optional.
Why is my cat looking at me and making little "blert?" noises?
> blert?
This is not a Cat vocalization why did you say it
This is not a question how can you answer it
I'll tell my cat to stop making "blert?" noises because some anonymous BU-N on the Intermaweb says it's not a proper Cat vocalization, then. Jeez.
You can answer it by the power of Gay Magic.
Jesus, what kind of troglodyte are you?
A level 8 Barbarian Troglodyte.
Why?
Because you had enough experience points to advance further from level 7, du~h.
This is not a humorous thread why do you post in it
In order to gain the favor of Asia Carrera.
Isn't she beautiful?
very
Is she acting or is she really enjoying herself?
She's often stated that she'd quit when she lost enjoyment in her craft, so we should take it as cinema verite.
How does the concept of Kino Pravda influence your daily life?
It doesn't.
Law or chaos?
when you're able to call that concept by a name, its actually already ordered. Therefore chaos does not exist, at least not within the semantic realm of human comprehension. Try your local government though, for chaotic laws.
will Asia Carrera ever cease to be a DQN meme?
I certainly hope not, as she's cuter than Squeeks and funnier than Teh Rei.
Do you think Asia Carrera ever visits this site? And, if so, does she enjoy the Emergency Mittens?
No and yes.
Why are you still using "teh"? That hasn't been funny in over seven years.
I wasn't aware it was ever funny; But, perhaps, just maybe, no one is here solely for your own amusement.
Why does >>884 bother posting?
Because he too hopes to impress Asia Carrera, and fantasizes about meeting her and sweeping her off her feet in a whirlwind romance, then sticking it in her pooper.
What sort of emergency are the emergency mittens intended for?
no, I'm too afraid he's not really out of luck and just cheating me.
Instead of visiting this site, will Asia Carrera come to my room at night?
Yes, just pay me a dime and I'll arrange the meeting personally.
Are we there yet?
No, not yet. Almost.
What is my fortune?
Yes. We've arrived at DQN. I can tell by the emergency mittens, as I have sen a lot of JISAKU JIENS in my time.
So, who else suspects that Asia Carrera may in fact be Amaterasu Omikami, Goddess of the Sun? Or else Uzume, the Dread Female of Heaven?
She is godlike, and not only because she alledgedly plays unreal tournament.
shouldn't there be a rule that when a mangaka draws boobs, they should at least not be bigger than the head of the girl?
>>884
The "Teh" is part of Teh Rei's name.
>>892
No. No there shouldn't. Otherwise there would be no Mogudan's Rei, and many of NISE Midi Doronokai's works would also not exist. Bakunyuu is an artform in its own right.
What will happen first, a landslide victory for a black lesbian US President or Duke Nukem Forever going gold?
It depends on the black lesbian's political stances. If she leaves people alone and doesn't raise taxes early in her career, she will win the presidential election before Duke Nukem Forever gets past the concept stage.
Should all guys learn at an early age that girls do poop and fart?
No, they shouldn't be robbed of their illusions. They should rather be taught that they are inferior to females in every aspect.
What will George W. Bush's last words be?
"I've always loved Asia Carrera."
So I've got this little part with two screws that keep backing out. Which type of threadlocking adhesive should I use? Blue Loctite, Red Loctite, or Permatex Green?
Obviously it's not Asia Carrera, as she is far too ladylike to fart. She is always a lady, even when someone is sticking it in her pooper.
Why do they call it "duck tape" if it's not made from ducks?
Because water runs off it like off a duck's back.
When will the US change their name to reflect their theocratic status?
Hopefully soon. I always thought the NUG (Nation Under God) had quite a good ring to it. Then not only Pratchett fans could call us Nugganites.
Who wil be the 50th President of the United States, and will his/her inauguration get a special celebration?
Pervez Musharraf, although the title will not be president anymore.
what is the title of the best Asia Carrera movie?
"NOT TODAY YOU DON'T."
Oh god, are we at 90.2% again, already?
According to my calculations, it's 90.290, repeating of course. You forgot to carry out the w.
Will I get regifted fruitcake again this year?
no you wont
roses are red,
violets are blue
lets go to bed
and I'll fuck you
That wasn't a question.
Why can't I stay up all night?
Because you have a busy day tomorrow, young man. Also, staying up while your parents are asleep can lead to uncouth urges which may turn you blind.
Why don't kids these days respect their elders anymore?
DAILY
That was neiter a question nor a proper answer, young man. Nor is there any point whatsoever in sageing the top thread on the front page.
Will somebody answer my question in >>906 already, or do you disrespect your elders so much that you'll completely ignore them? I swear, you whippersnappers ... in MY day ...
That's right, I visit Asia Carrera's Web page daily.
Why didn't >>907 post a picture?
>>908-909
oblivously newbie
And Asia Carrera has delicious bewbies.
Why didn't >>910 post a question?
Because this thread has peacefully died, and we must now wait for 999GET to start fresh.
Is anything more VIP Quality than >>904,907,910 ?
Yes, but I dare not post or link to it lest the sheer VIP Quality overload the board.
What carries out and is w, exactly?
It.
I'm hungry for some Chinese take-out. What dish should I get?
Cream of Sum-Yung Guy.
Did you have to ask?
I'm not >>914 but for asking me if I had to ask when I'm not the same person, I think you're fucking retarded.
Who is better, Obama or Hilary?
Squeeks, as a write-in.
Wann und wo ist der Klub der Honks?
nein!
Do you think I will be able to read all of the Harry Potter books before the movie comes out? I know I can finish at least 4 before the movie comes out.
No, but Snape kills Dumbledore.
What kind of question can I ask here that will get a legitimate and satisfactory answer?
hahaha! that's a funny joke
>>917 haettest du es gerne hart und gemein tief im Hintern?
Jawohl, ich habe Sauerkraut in meine Lederhosen!
Assuming one were inclined to research the topic in depth, what would the be the amount and/or quantity of planks, sawdust etc lumber material thrown by a member of species marmota monax, were said member able (and inclined!) to launch the stuff tree trunks are made of with wild abandon?
An article I found in a decades old issue of the Wall Street Journal reports on the work of New York state wildlife expert Richard Thomas, who found that marmota monax could (and does) dislocate around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a member of the species do this with lumber, lumber precursors or lumber products, he would move an amount equivalent to the weight of the dirt, or 700 pounds.
Now will you please stop asking that question?
No.
Who is the Richest Man in Babylon?
Steve McQueen.
I'm searching for a symbol of benevolence and good fortune, can you help me out?
Look no further than Asia Carrera, the goddess of benevolence and Fortune.
Why did I order the limited first pressing of the Lucky Star 1 DVD?
You're a weeaboo.
Why didn't I know about this DVD?
Because Asia Carrera did not smile on you with the same good fortune she did on >>925.
Has she become a meme?
No, she's still a porn starlet.
Will the weather cool off anytime soon?
Yes, the next ice age should be just around the corner, with all this global wanging going on.
What tried-and-true home remedy should I subject my onychia to today?
Show it the Asia Carrera meme. If that doesn't work, introduce it to her actual movie heritage. I have no clue what an onychia is, but it will definitely work.
Who the hell is frigido nanoko?
Well, frigido means cold in a latin language. Nanoko, I don't know what it is.
My magic eightball is broken, what should I do?
Just another frozen maiden.
I was just over at the Wawa, and purchased a banana, and noticed that they had BARCODED the thing! In the supermarket, they are putting stickers on veggies and fruit. Why do easily recognizable items require labels?
No, this isn't 4chan's /b/.
Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Yes.
Why did the party van cross the road?
49 BC.
Why don't we just try to bash through them?
More acceptable than getting her a pink sock, at least.
How old is said sister?
Sixty-seven, an' a half.
Do >>990-998 consist solely of spam from someone trying for 999GET like in every legendary thread?
We shall never know, for this thread falls short of the "legendary" you would see us aspire to.
Why is replying out of order so common in this thread?
Its the product of our individualistic and assertive lifestyle. We are in control and we're only being nice enough to answer questions once in a while, shortly submitting ourselves to solve a task set by another and thus subjugating ourselves for that period.
Why is Israel not in the EU already?
Don't give them ideas... EU should stay with EU states.
Why is the "Tour de France" not all in France?
The borders changed after it started.
Why doesn't the Swedish Chef speak proper Swedish?
He-a duesn't? Thet's noo tu me-a. Børk, Børk, Børk.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He ran out of coconuts
What is better than pina colada?
Planter's Punch.
Where can I get the world's best Banana Daiquiri?
17th Century France.
What exactly is the "purple stuff"?
Its what one of the Teletubbies was made out of
Why did fate allow me to see tubgirl?
Because upset Nanoha
How many ways am I going to be crucified for that piece of weeaboory?
Over and over until Asia Carrera is satisfied.
And isn't that as it should be?
if that is possible then yes
If Hillary Clinton were to cheat on her husband with Barrack Obama, who of them would benefit from that electorally?
We all would, because I smell DREAM TICKET!!
So, who'd be on top in the DREAM TICKET?
Aham.
... What ?
It's "politics" without manipulation, i.e. glorified celebrity worship. There is no understanding it.
Is it true that there is a strong culture of anti-intellectualism in America?
No, but there should be.
Why can't people just relax?
Don't do it. When you want to uhm.
Free question GET!
When will Duke Nukem Forever be released?
1994
What year does NAFTA go into effect?
Due to the increased pressure or extreme humidity.
I believe he was phrasing his response in the form of a question as per Jeopardy's rules, and then got confused.
How much longer do we have to wait for an SNL Celebrity Jeopardy movie featuring Dave Foley as Ken Jennings?
Two weeks.
I still have a candy cane from Christmas. Is it still edible?
if it doesn't taste weird and didn't soften, it should be edible.
Can >>963 sue me if (s)he got very sick from following my advice?
No, you could sue him for believing what he reads on the internet.
If my two favourite singers are KOTOKO from I've and Halko Momoi from UNDER17, what other singers can you recommend?
KOTOKO is NOT from I've, she is just a guest singer, fucker. You emo shits should learn more before posting.
>>966
Yeah right, she's appeared on every I've album but she's just a guest singer. You trolls should learn more before flaming.
I'm sorry those are not questions.
Are >>966,967 aspies?
If so, then why aren't they busy waging edit wars on wikipeida?
If not, then what the hell is their problem?
Their problem is insufficient Asia Carrera pr0n, just as mine is.
Do you know where I might find some more?
deep underground.
Which is the best Pokemon?
None is greater than Spinda.
Which is the best brand of fiber supplement?
Whichever one has the best advertising, which would be Metamucil.
How much bandwidth do you really need?
More than that. No, even more. Look, my C64 has more bandwidth than that onboard.
How come offbeat games like Grand Monster Slam and Movie Monster aren't made anymore?
Because people will only buy the umpteenth GTA clone.
What would happen if the entire world converted to Islam?
Less girls would become anorexic/bulimic.
How about them Mets?
The duck dawns slowly at midnight. Reach phase plane roger whiskey.
if I looking for frog
him name is hopkin green frog
I lost my frog
P.S. I'll find my frog
Who took my frog?
Who found my frog?
Asia Carrera did.
What kind of name is "Hopkin?"
It is a surname.
What is a good book for learning IA32 ASM?
You can find information at http://www.eeglossary.com/assembly.htm
Why are my users so fucking stupid? I mean, why the FUCK are they so goddamned STUPID?!
They are users. Users are the reason there is no perfect piece of software.
After reading "Kitchen Confidential," were you suddenly gripped with the sudden need to never eat out again?
Not really, but after reading "Seduction of the Innocent" I vowed never to read comic books again.
What muckraking expose REALLY got you to change your ways?
Reefer Madness. It made me want to try that awesome-looking "weed" stuff.
What other singers beside Halko Momoi have a loli-esque voice?
Asia Carrera does, when she can be persuaded to sing.
What is this "weed" of which you speak?
Its actually just the leaves from carrots, shredded. >>982 thought he bought weed but the Dutch actually sold him that shit. It frees your wallet, not your mind, from worldy affairs.
Why = Bjork = suck?
Bjork doesn't suck. You just have infantile taste in music.
What's with all the kids posting here all of a sudden?
Well, I assume you are asking "Why Suck?" ignoring the commutative property of Bjork, so my response is that 'blow' is merely an expression.
What is the simplest board game that still has sophisticated strategy?
With a few wooden planks, you can run a stone-age wargame. It's great fun, but remember that wearing helmets is cheating.
What's a battle?
it is a confrontation of two or more vested interests, emotions, or arbitrators thereof, typically leading to the submission of one to the other.
is infantile really the best reason you can think of why some people are not thrilled by Bjork?
No, but I imagine that since "Björk" does not have West Germanic (but rather North Germanic) etymology, people may wonder why it is utilized in Anglic conversation.
Why did you say it?
I didn't, >>988 did. Stupidhead, asking questions of strangers on the internet.
Why your round eyes look so stupid????
Because everyone's eyes are unattractive by comparison with Asia Carrera's.
Do you think that Asia Carrera would be more popular if her name had some umlauts in it?
Her pussy already has an umlaut in it, no need for more
is true love possible with a pornstar?
OF course! If you can handle the sex that is...
You ever feel so worthless?
I always feel worthless when I contemplate the perfect inhuman goddess that is Asia Carrera.
Why a duck?
Asia Carrera is a slut.
Why is Asia Carrera such a slut?
You're describing a higher order of being in human terms and that's always a mistake.
Is it true that Asia Carrera is an eleven-dimensional being like Tsunami from Tenchi Muyo?
Within your life she will always remain a two-dimensional shadow of her real identity on your computerscreen to fap to.
Will this thread close without reference to Asia Carrera?
It is to be hoped, however unlikely.
Why do threads close at 999 rather than 1000 these days?
Squeeks changed it so that Asia Carrera would be the only person able to 1000GET.
Can anyone answer this question?
