4 + 4 = ?
Nummy nummy nummy, I've got love in my tummy!
Why do smart people tend to not reproduce?
Because they're smart enough to realize that the LAST thing the planet Earth needs is more human beings. It's because of human beings that we have somethingawful.com, after all.
Are you, indeed, the man now, dog?
Why, no sir. You da man.
Why don't stupid people get involved in more deadly accidents?
Because God protects fools. I refer you to "Being There".
Are nannies really the greatest cause of celebrity divorce facing us today?
No; you're thinking of lawyers
Did you see what was on digg today?
No, there's too much noise on digg, but I read a news site that aggregates the most interesting stories from digg and more than 450 other news sites.
Is anonymous posting equivalent to communism?
No, anonymous posting is double-plus good.
Whats the greatest musical album ever?
Frank Zappa's Thing Fish.
Why does Amarillo have to suck so hard?
Because even though Amarillo and Amaretto are might seem somewhat similar, they really aren't.
Is it the fried catfish that's making me feel slightly queasy? :\
I'd say it's the Yen you're chewing on.
How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
Just one: the road leading to the nearest soccer riot.
Can we starting making up our own Kanji symbols for stuff? It's not like anyone will be able to tell the difference...
NO U!
Am I famous yet?
You were right up until you said "NO U!", then you faded to obscurity.
Why the fuck do people think catchphrases are funny?
A Famous idiot, perhaps.
When I stroke my beard thusly, do I not appear more sophisticated?
More sophisticated than >>561 , but that's not saying much...
Does using tripcodes that spell things make you cool?
I don't #f[dp/;z1
Why does Blizzard hate making new games so much?
Because they suck at it and innovating takes too much energy.
Why do my feet smell so bad?
You gotta wash everyday like the muslims.
And my dick smells sweet...
...because you wash it like the muslims?
Why did that Finland song won? I thought it sucked, apart from the overdone SFX.
Because IT'S FOR FINLAND!!!
Which is worse: "txt talk," or "1337 speak,"?
31173 3717736 05169 100% 6036375 15 5097333.
Who is the hottest chick in anime?
>>570: Ranma Saotome. Take that any way you will.
Do you consider photoshop art?
No. The person sitting right to me at the moment showing what he did in Photoshop proves that I am right.
How does one get people to do what one wants them to do?
Do you mean editing pictures that someone else took? Then no that's not art, not unless you make it so that it's really hard to tell where the picture came from but if you just add some lense flares and change the contrast it's not art and your're a talentless fuck.
Do you consider MSpaint art?
BECAUSE YOU FUCKER, YOU STOLE MY FUCKING CLOUDSONG.
Who is John Galt?
a stupid dummy butt face!
Is this the internet or something???? help
Yes, it is. You can tell because of all the stalkers that your mommy warned you about!
Will you be my new best friend?
That depends on what you did with your old best friend.
Will you tell me, or are you going to lawyer up?
On the advice of counsel, FUCK YOU.
Why do people follow the news even though there's nothing they can do about it?
So we can take notes, and take remedial action when the opportunity arises. People can be voted out of office, throats can be slit in dark alleys, etc. Watching the news is a fine way to develop grudges.
How is the creation of an independent Montenegro going to directly effect your life?
>>580: It forces me to answer a question on a message board.
How badly is the Simpsons movie going to suck?
That depends who they cast as Homer.
I seem to be out of cookies. How can I best rectify this grave situation?
Marry me!
Can I have sum monies?
No. Get a job.
Should I go home now or waste some more time pretending to work while surfing the internets?
NO
Face it straight, guys: Swords Dance or Double Team?
I've never seen swords dancing before, so.. double team?
Anyways, now that iichan is kind of back, will you start using it again, or continue using wakachan?
I never wasted my time on either of those shitty websites, and I never will.
Is the answer to the question "no"?
Aye.
What is 'i'?
something you use to oogle young girls with.
what is the capital of zaire?
Z
So, how 'bout that local sports team, huh?
Dude, we're playing chess.
What happens when I press F9?
Your internet explodes!
Why won't you love me anymore? Why did you lie to me!? WHY?!?
It's not about you.. It's about me.
Why didn't you change?
Becasue I'm perfect and you should be the one to change.
Could you please move a little to the left? You're blocking my light.
>>594 fuck you and your completely-meaningful-except-that-last-character tripcode.
I came, I saw, I left.
Why so many crappy sites?
We're being invaded by VIPPERS
Should I choose Squirtle, Bulbasaur or Charmeleon?
Agumon.
Are YOU a VIPPER?
No.
What did you think of my 600GET?
No. That's not to say I'm not a totally inane retard though.
My mage has more meat on her arms than my swordswoman. What's up with that?
>>600 You suck and everything you write sucks go back to your hole and cry sucky mcsuck suck,
>>601 RPGs suck and are illogical. once you accecpt that a human can will fireballs into existance using a thing called "mana" you have accecpted that a wimp like your swordsman is cool, go and fucking kill yourself.
Which is better a giant blender filled with lolis or a giant loli filled with blenders?
Why can't I have both?!
What would happen if there were no hypothetical questions?
That question was posed to me in grade 4. That was the year I was molested.
I trusted you Grandma. How could you do that to me?
That wasn't me. That was my twin sister, Sophie. She was always a little 'tetched'.
Why are twins and albinos generally depicted as evil beings?
Because they are. Without exception.
Is that answer racist?
It would be if it weren't so obviously true.
What does someone do for fun in this shithole one-horse town?
You wait for the stage to take you to Carson City, drinking bitter beer while listening to the professor on the out-of-tune piano. Don't let Dotty take you upstairs, cowpoke. She has the french disease.
What did you see as you walked down the streets of Laredo?
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin makin trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orang juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear the pricey booze, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop and yelled my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
Who doesn't like Will Smith?
>>609
Those couple of guys who were up to no good and started to make trouble in the neighborhood didn't like Will Smith.
What's a good way for a couple of guys to start making trouble in the neighborhood?
Either Cherry Bombs or rape.
Shall we Bu-n!?
I'm afraid to fly, unlike Erica Jong.
How many radians are there in a circle?
Nah. It's too hot out.
What's for breakfast?
Everyone followed the trend to Beauty Parlor Dancing.
And while we're on the subject, can a fox trot?
No, contrary to popular belief foxen actually gallop instead of trot.
How can I make enough money to pay for theses damn college loans?
Prostitution.
Why didn't I ever get that action figure I wanted for christmas? :'(
Because you never finished your steamed pete.
What is a man?
A miserable little pile of secrets.
Is McDonald's food really that unhealthy, considering that two (tiny) servings of unsalted mixed nuts have more fat than a Big Mac?
Yes. You also have to consider sugar and salt content. Also remember that there is more than one type of fat.
I'm not a veteran, so should I get the green onion or not?
That's the beef bowl place isn't it?
Do you REALLY want to eat the extra-large with extra sauce?
Not really. I just wanted to say extra sauce.
Why is it crowded at Yoshinoya? I couldn't get a seat!
Take a look at that banner up there. "150 yen off".
Who the hell comes to Yoshinoya for 150 yen off?
>>621 did, that's who.
ADV translations, or a sharp stick in the eye repeatedly?
I'll take the sharp stick for 20, Dave.
Did God create mosquitos, or was that Man's doing?
The processes of nature created mosquitos, but man created God.
Will a nonreligious institution ever fill the multigenerational social and community needs currently addressed by churches?
God created mosquitos to punish man for imageboard faggotry.
Do you ever find yourself saying smock over and over agian for many days just because it sounds so freaking cool? And why is saying smock so much cooler than wearing one?
Wearing a smock implies that you might be pretty smart, and high intelligence is inexplicably frowned upon by the masses. Stoopid masses...
Why aren't my roommates back yet?
>>1, just keep waiting, and all the residents of Needler Hall will return with more wacky adventures!
Do you know Magical Needle-chan's true identity?
They were ambushed by lawn gnomes on their way back.
What is the objective of the sinister lawn gnome conspiracy?
No. A bunch of lies are out there, though; this sentence is one of them.
How do you cope with the fact that life is fleeting and you may suddenly die at any time?
I gave $30 to "Bob"! Salvation is Guaranteed, or TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK!
Do you have Slack?
By answering questions on /dqn/.
Why is this thread suddenly popular again after going without posts for a long while?
Posts on /dqn/ are like fashion trends: they're cyclical. What's old is new again.
Paul Graham is full of shit, but don't his essays have merit in the fact that they make you think, even if only so you can tell him how full of shit he is?
God created mosquitos to punish man for imageboard faggotry.
Do you ever find yourself saying smock over and over agian for many days just because it sounds so freaking cool? And why is saying smock so much cooler than wearing one?
Wearing a smock implies that you might be pretty smart, and high intelligence is inexplicably frowned upon by the masses. Stoopid masses...
Why aren't my roommates leaving yet?
They are sex0ring your mittens in the alley.
Who brought grandpa and junior here from 2ch?
（ ｀ハ´） My wonderful parties, of course.
（ ｀ハ´） Should I have another one soon?
⊂二二二( ﾟ ヮﾟ)二二二⊃ Hells yeah!
⊂二二二( ﾟ -ﾟ)二二二⊃ Long arms are nice and all, but how am I supposed to rub the mittens on my face?
Elbows.
Aww, did this thread go out of fashion so soon?
No, there was just a sudden influx of new threads.
Where did you get that pair of sweater pies?
At the sweatshop.. err, sweetshop.
How do I get the tea stains off of my mug?
Soak it in hot water and dish liquid.
Will the forces of darkness succeed in taking over the world?
Short answer yes with an if. Long answer no with a but.
Will 4ch die the next time NEWS4VIP pays it a visit?
Actually, I think that NEWS4VIP will slip 4ch a roofie, and 4ch will have to spend the money that it was saving for Spring Break on an abortion.
Do you crack an egg into your ramen?
No, I crack eggs into my semen. Or was that my semen cracks into eggs.
Why is life so complicated in this day and age?